Chapters Let me ask you something: Have you ever worked your tail off for years to get something that you really wanted, only to realize that it wasn't anything like you imagined? Black turns to white and right becomes left and soon what you thought you had becomes something else—something unrecognizable. Something alien. What happens when you spend your life striving for gold and when you finally reach it, it turns to dust in your hooves?
Do you move on and hope for more? Do you settle for what you have? Do you calmly accept that no matter how hard you try, your goals will never be realized because there was nothing to reach in the first place?
The paper laid alone on the oak table in the center of the room. Nothing accompanied it but a quill that sat in an ink jar just to its right. The curly, loopy header signified the paper's status as the most important piece of documentation in my life: the Wonderbolts Contract—the key to my dreams.
All of my dreams.
That one form—that single sheet of paper—was the key to every dream I'd had since I was a filly.
Every dream except one.
Hang on, let me back up. My name is Rainbow Dash; I'm sure you've heard of me. I'm the fastest, most agile flier Equestria has ever known—the bearer of the Element of Loyalty—the epitome of awesomeness—the definition of coolness and the embodiment of radicalness. Well, at least I thought I was.
You see, my lifelong dream has always been to get into the Wonderbolts—a group of Equestria's top fliers; they travel around the country putting on airshows the likes of which you'd never believe. When I was just a little filly, my dad took me to see one of their shows in Cloudsdale; I was so amazed with their crazy stunts and high-speed aviation that I whooped and hollered louder than anypony else in the stands. I wanted that—I wanted to be up there with them, strutting my stuff to thousands of adoring fans. I've done nothing but train every day since for the moment when I'd be declared their newest member.
Well, almost every day.
Anyway, a couple of years ago, my morning practice was ruined when I crashed straight into the single greatest obstacle I've ever known. What was it? Well, “what” isn't exactly the right word to use—who , is more like it. And the “who” was Twilight Sparkle : Princess Celestia's personal protege. She has got to be the cutest, smartest, funniest, most awesome pony that I've ever met—and I've metSpitfire , the Captain of the Wonderbolts !
I'm getting ahead of myself, again.
I don't know what it was, but I found myself unable to think straight. Why couldn't I just ignore her? Why couldn't I have just said “sorry” and kept practicing like the other five million times I've crashed into ponies? I don't know. I never used to believe in love at first sight but it's strange—before I'd even said a word to her, my heart was practicing its own stunts; I couldn't breathe or think or talk or even get off of her! I know this sounds cheesy, but it's like I knew the second I looked into her shocked amethyst eyes that she was going to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
We became fast friends and teamed up with some other ponies to stop the evil villain called Nightmare Moon from taking over Equestria. Still, even though I made a few new friends that day, I couldn't help but feel that Twilight was the most special one of them all: a diamond among rubies, if you will. I mean, sure, Fluttershy, AJ and I go way back and we're super close, but, for some reason, I felt something different around this new unicorn that I'd never felt before—butterflies danced in my stomach as I tried to say more than a few words without stuttering about how gorgeous her mane is or blushing like a stupid school filly over her every compliment!
I tried to pass it off as a simple crush and move on, but I couldn't. No matter how hard I trained or how skilled I got, my thoughts never turned from that nerdy little unicorn that literally lived in the library ; no move was perfected until she complimented it—no boast was too great until she rolled her eyes—no stunt was too lame unless she didn't cheer and no remark was too stupid unless she said so. And yet, she never did—no matter how badly I messed up. She always just gave me this gentle kind of smile that could melt the heart of an ice dragon—a happy kind of oh, Dashie look that made my knees wobbly and my face burn.
I don't know how many times I tried to tell her over the years, but I never could. I could be right on the cusp of saying it and something would happen—I'd lose my nerve or a barking dog would run through or she was really a changeling in disguise—yeah, that was a fun evening. Not. But, life goes on, I suppose. I found a pet, Fluttershy learned to stand up for herself, we saved a foreign kingdom and Pinkie Pie managed to clone herself a million times. A few weeks ago, I even mailed my application papers to the Wonderbolt Academy, where stuntponies are trained before they can perform. I said my goodbyes to my friends when I was accepted and left my stupid feelings behind me. I soon became the star of the camp, graduating at the top of my class with several academy records under my belt. Naturally, I was the prime candidate for initiation—in their Class A division, no less.
Which brings me full circle back to this moment—and the paper.
I ____________ do swear by my wings that I will uphold the traditions and esteem of the Equestrian Wonderbolts. I understand that, should Equestria ever enter a state of war, my services may be called for against my will in the Royal Equestrian Air Force. I understand that my first loyalty will always be to the Wonderbolts and that I will go where I am sent and follow the orders of my superiors for the length of time specified in the contract above, so help me Celestia.
It was right there: everything that I had ever wanted growing up—seeing the world, amazing everypony with my awesome flying skills and partying alongside the world's finest pegasi. The quill trembled in my mouth, but I didn't move any closer to the scroll.
“Something wrong, Cadet?”
I turned my head to see Spitfire cocking her brow at me, concern etched across her face. I closed my eyes and sighed. “No...” When I opened my eyes again, she was staring at me so intensely that I felt like she was searching my very soul.
“You're not fooling anypony, Dash,” she said, frowning. “What's the matter, you don't want to be a Wonderbolt anymore?”
“No!” I protested quickly. All of a sudden, I was on my hooves—I didn't even remember getting up. “It's not that, it's just...” I sighed and looked at the paper again. “I don't know...” My gaze fell to the floor, and I noticed that the outer mists of the cloud floor were swirling around my hooves. That was a strange revelation; I'd lived on clouds almost my whole life and I was just now noticing that?
I felt a hoof come to rest on my shoulder. “Hey, take your time; it's a big decision.”
“But it's not supposed to be!” Even I couldn't hide the whine in my voice. “I've been training for so long...”
“There are other things in life besides flying in fancy circles, Cadet. You should follow your heart.”
I looked up at the now smirking stuntmare. Gritting my teeth, I growled and shrugged off her hoof. “You don't understand! This was it !” I gestured madly at the table. “This!” I cried, waving the paper through the air for emphasis. “This was the goal! This was definitive point of my whole life ! I've never dreamed of anything else!”
That smirk was starting to get on my nerves; she wore it like a badge of honor, shoving it in my face every time I looked her direction. “Nothing else?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
Lavender flashed through my vision. I saw images of myself frolicking in the park on Hearts and Hooves Day—napping in the shade of an apple tree after a picnic—curled up with an action-packed novel out front of the fire place—under the covers of my bed while the rain poured outside, my hooves wrapped tightly around—
No. I shook my head. Don't be stupid!
I took a deep breath to clear my mind. “Nothing,” I answered icily, giving that stupid smirk my fiercest glare. “Not. One. Thing.”
Scooping the quill off the floor, Spitfire brought it back onto the table and deposited it by the contract. “Then sign it.” Her voice was quiet, but I heard the challenge in her tone. She didn't think I could do it! Why, that no good... What right did she have!
I snorted and scooped the quill back up, determined to show her a thing or two. I dipped it in the ink and brought the tip to the dotted line.
...I understand that my first loyalty will always be to the Wonderbolts and that I will go where I am sent and follow the orders of my superiors...
I could see Fillydelphia and Baltimare! I could put on shows for royalty! I could roll in Bits and hang out with the Wonderbolts and sit in VIP areas! No more wishing I could be a Wonderbolt! No more dealing with other ponies' problems for them! No more barely scraping by as a weatherpony in some unheard-of town in the middle of nowhere!
Out of blue, my stomach heaved, sending me lurching over the table. No more Ponyville, I realized. No more teaching little Scootaloo how to be a mare. No more small town life. No more Applejack or Rarity or Pinkie or Tank...
No more Twilight ; my heart sank. The idea of only seeing Twilight for a few snatches of time every few months or so made my chest hurt.
“Well?” Spitfire asked, the stupid smirk on her face still mocking me.
I closed my eyes tightly. She was right; I needed to follow my heart.
“I... I...” The quill slipped from my mouth. “I can't...”
Spitfire frowned, even I had barely heard the words.
“I can't do it...” I said, louder this time. My voice cracked as my eyes started to burn. I buried my head in my hooves and collapsed onto the table.
A hoof settled on my shoulder again, but this time it felt more like the gentle hoof of a friend than the hard hoof a superior. When I opened my eyes, the tears started to fall, but I didn't mind. Spitfire looked back at me with the most comforting smile I'd ever seen and pulled me into her embrace. I don't remember the last time I was hugged—months ago, I think.
It felt nice.
“I'm sorry,” I sobbed, hiccuping afterward. Celestia, I was pathetic.
“There's nothing to be sorry about,” Spitfire assured me, patting my back. “The 'bolts just aren't for you, that happens sometimes.” She pulled back to look me in the eyes and wiped the tears off my face. “Now, go get her!”
“Huh?” I managed to choke out. “Wh-what—“
“Your purple friend?” she chuckled, tussling my mane with a hoof—if anypony but my fillyhood hero had tried to do that, they'd wake up in the hospital. “That one you're always staring at? You should tell her how you feel.”
My cheeks burned. I was blushing, I knew I was, but I didn't care; there was no point in denying it anymore: I'd fallen wings over tail for my smartest friend. I sniffled and took a deep breath. “Yeah,” I said, letting the air escape my lungs. “I-I will.”
Spitfire smiled and let go of me. Walking back to the table, she grabbed the contract and rolled it up. “You're sure about this?” she asked,. “You do realize that we can only offer the spot once—say 'no' now and it's 'no' forever...”
I nodded, once again turning my attention to the mist dancing around my hooves. I didn't need the Wonderbolts—I needed Twilight. “Mm-hm.”
Spitfire sighed and pocketed the paper. “Then I guess we're done here.” She turned around and opened the door. Shouts and whistles entered the room with the light of the sun. “You would've made one heck of a 'bolt, kid,” she said without looking back. “Maybe we'll meet again someday.”
For a moment she just stood there in the doorway, looking outside, then she sighed. Her wings drooped a little. “Good bye, Rainbow Dash,” she said quietly, before taking her first steps through the exit. “I hope you know what you're doing.”
“Bye,” I whimpered as I watched her walk out of the room. The door closed, hitting the frame with a soft thud.
I was alone.
And that's how my dream of joining the Wonderbolts died.
Okay, confession time: I know I may act cocky and stuff, but I hate talking to ponies about feelings—especially love . I mean, they always ask questions like, “when was your first kiss?” or “who was your first special somepony?” Seriously, how can I answer those honestly and not get laughed out of the room? I'd be Rainbow Dash: the coolest pegasus to have ever not been on a date! I guess that's why, instead of flying straight to Twilight's library like a bat out of Tartarus, I drifted down to the ground and walked back to Ponyville, aimlessly wandering the crowded streets once I got there.
I found myself walking around the park after a few minutes, watching a few foals play tag. They were so carefree, ducking and weaving between the reckless hooves of their adversaries, so young and naive—they would be anything that they wanted to be when they grew up. I saw a unicorn wearing a magician's hat try to make an egg disappear, just before one of the tag players tackled another and were sent careening into her stand, crushing the egg in a watery yellow mess.
I sat down on a bench and sighed, burying my face in my forehooves. What do I do now? I wondered, Might as well take that job as Weather Chief—maybe it'll pull in enough Bits for me to have something besides ketchup soup for dinner... Speaking of which, I probably should have been taking a shower; my friends had insisted on throwing me a celebratory dinner the night I got back from camp, and I didn't want to be all messy and dirty for it.
Just when I thought my heart couldn't sink any lower, it decided to prove me wrong. What was I supposed to tell them—I made it but I quit? No, they'd ask too many questions. But what else could I say? They'd never believe me if I told them I didn't make it—everypony knows that I'm better than half of the 'bolts that are already on the team!
I sighed and leaned back against the wooden bench, staring up at the cloudless sky. The weather was perfect for flying: sunny and cool, but not too cool. Normally, on a day like today, I'd be up there perfecting my moves for entrance to the Wonderbolt Academy—guess that's one thing I won't have to do anymore. Still, I figured it couldn't hurt to go up there just one more time. The heat of the sun on my back, the breeze on my cheeks, the wind in my fur... Yeah, a few minutes in the air would surely clear my mind.
I stood up and spread my wings, popping a few joints in the process. A deep breath, a jump and I was airborne. A few ponies gave me disapproving looks as I glided overhead—taking off in the middle of town isn't exactly looked upon fondly—but I ignored them and continued upwards. During my ascent, I tried to clear my mind of recent events; I wanted to forget my problems, if only for a few minutes, and enjoy my flight.
When I reached a decent height, I twisted my wings and angled myself towards the ground, speeding downward in a high-speed dive. Closer and closer to the ground I fell before—woosh! —I pulled up and spiraled back into the blue. I looped the loop, zig-zagged between the mail-mares, sped past a flock of seagulls and somersaulted through a group of clouds, landing on a rooftop with a clang. Smiling, I charged over the ledge and leaped back into the air. I flipped, I spun, I dove and corkscrewed; I felt good—really good. Despite just using my wings a few hours ago, it was nice to be back in the sky—therapeutic, really. I chuckled, some ponies had to pay hundreds of Bits to have their problems fixed by some shrink with a clipboard, I just needed some air.
I laughed as I flipped once more, coming up underneath an unsuspecting hawk and scaring half his feathers off. “You know something?” I said to myself, “This might not be so bad after all! I mean sure, no Wonderbolts, but at least I've got my friends...” I sneezed, and a few brownish-black feathers flew away from my nose. “...and I can still fly!”
There was no more pressure, no more constant demand for excellence in every flight related task! I could take my time for once and have some fun! I was free!
Oh, Celestia, I was free!
I could tell Twilight about my feelings whenever I wanted to, but there was no need to rush—it wasn't like there was some kind of deadline to reach! I could tell her in a few months—or even weeks! Heck, if I managed to work up the courage, I could tell her today !
Yeah, I could totally make this work!
I had my whole life to figure out all the hard stuff! Just because I wasn't a Wonderbolt didn't mean I couldn't try something else! I could do something! I could be anything! I could, uh...
I could...
I slowed down to crawl as reality hit me like a freight train. I'd gotten kicked out of flight school. I never went to college. My whole life had been dedicated to getting into the Wonderbolts and my only skill was flying—and weather control, I guess, but only because I'd needed money to support my dream of getting on the team! There was no way I could make a career out of kicking clouds! Not only would that be that boring as heck, but the pay was so horrible that I'd be eating out of a dumpster before long!
“Hey! Look!” a familiar voice cried before the cold feeling settling in my gut could spread very far. I peered downwards to see Pinkie Pie grinning and waving a sheet of paper around in the air. Twilight was with her, her beautiful mane flowing in the breeze. My other friends were there, too, all standing outside the library looking upset.
“There she is!” Pinkie shouted, bouncing up and down on her hind legs like only she can. “Dashie, down here!”
Well, I suppose this had to happen at some point—might as well be now. The familiar weight returned to my chest as I descended to their level. When my hooves touched the ground, I looked back up at my friends. Before I could even speak, a bright pink blur tackled me to the ground.
“Hiya, Dashie!” the frizzy haired maniac cheered, her figure towering over me. “How was the Wonderbolt Academy? Didja pass? Huh? Didja?”
“Pinkie—“
“I betcha did!” she continued without hesitation. “I know you did! Ooh! Are you a Wonderbolt now? Where's your badge? I wish I could be a Wonderbolt, but I don't have any wings!” She stepped back and saluted the sky before attempting to take off, flapping her forelegs like a crazed chicken.
An orange hoof snaked around my no-doubt sugar-high friend and helped me to my hooves; I smiled and said hello to Applejack. The farmer tipped her Stetson at me before lassoing Pinkie—who'd somehow managed to become airborne in her attempts to fly—and pulling her back to earth.
Once Pinkie Pie had calmed down, everypony's gaze drifted over to me. It was weird though, I don't really know what I'd been expecting when I got back, but frowns on the faces of my friends definitely weren't what I'd had in mind.
Do they already know? I wondered as they cast their glances at me. I shook my head. Don't be silly, Dash! How could they? But... what else could they be mad about?
“Uh, hey guys,” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “How's it goin'?”
Like a bursting dam, everypony started talking at once. Applejack began droning on about her chores at the farm; Rarity was complaining about her dress orders; Fluttershy could be heard muttering something about a sick gopher. They all looked frustrated, and the longer everypony went on, the more stressed they sounded.
“Everypony! Hey!” Twilight cried over the chaos, “Quiet!” After a moment, the silence returned and everypony was focused on the cutest mare in Equestria. Well, at least I was.
Kinda.
Celestia, her eyes are pretty...
Twilight took a deep breath and looked at each one of us. Maybe it was just my imagination, but she gave me the smallest of smiles when I caught her eye. “Welcome back, Rainbow Dash. We missed you while you were gone.”
She missed me!
I felt heat rush to my face and I quickly turned to the ground, hoping nopony would notice. “Uh, yeah. I missed you too—guys, I mean. Heh-heh, I missed you guys too.” Darn it! I'd only been gone for a few months! How could I have forgotten how to talk so soon? A quick glance around at my friends revealed that nopony had caught my slip-of-the-tongue—they were all too busy looking at Twilight.
“Like I was saying,” she continued pointedly, gesturing at the paper Pinkie Pie was still holding. “I know this is last minute, but we can't just ignore a summons from the Princesses!”
Wait... what?
“Uh,” I started, “did I miss—“
“It'd better be a real emergency if she needs us to leave so dang soon!” Applejack growled. “I mean, I respect Princess Celestia as much as the next pony, but doesn't she know that we've got lives?”
“Guys? What's going—”
“I agree, darling,” Rarity interjected. “Would it have been so hard to at least give us a day's notice?”
“Hello? Are you guys even listening—”
“What about poor Woody?” squeaked Fluttershy, “He needs lots of attention right now; I can't just leave him!”
“I understand there are problems, girls!” Twilight cried, waving her hooves in the air. “But I know that Celestia wouldn't—”
“What do I tell the Cakes?” Pinkie cried suddenly, latching onto Twilight's face with her forehooves. “I told them I was free this week! All this week! They need somepony to babysit the foals!”
“Guys?”
“There are other ponies in town, Pinkie,” Twilight reassured her. “I'm sure—”
“But there's only one me !” the dotty mare yelped. “And I told them I would! ”
“Everypony shut up!” I shouted as loud as I could. Breathing heavily, I looked at each of my friends. They were all giving me a stunned expression—you know the kind: slack jaw, wide eyes, kinda leaning back on their hind-legs—but they were quiet. I took a deep breath. “Now, does anypony feel like telling me what the heck is going on?”
Silence all around. A few of my friends exchanged awkward expressions but nothing else. “Uh, right,” Applejack grunted softly. “Guess we all got a little carried away there, huh?”
“You can say that again...” Twilight's mumble was barely audible, but I managed to pick it out of the air. She took a step into the center of our circle. “I'll explain everything later, Rainbow Dash,” she said tiredly. “Look, the letter never said that you girls had to come, I just thought that—“
“Stop right there!” Rarity interrupted, “I know where you're going with this and I won't allow it! Why, we could never abandon you, Twilight!”
Applejack nodded. “Yeah,” she said, adjusting her hat. “We were just griping is all.”
Twilight sighed. “Then everypony get your affairs in order; we'll meet at the train station in an hour.”
There were a few more groans of discontent before the circle broke up and everypony went their separate ways. Soon, only Twilight and I were left standing outside the library. Well, I was standing—Twilight was sitting down, her head hanging low. I counted forty-seven seconds before her eyes opened—that was way too long to be good.
“Hey,” I said, getting as close too her as I dared. I put a hoof on her shoulder and she looked up at me with her big, beautiful orbs. “Uh, you okay. Twi?”
Her lip curled up a bit. “Yeah,” she sighed. “I've just so stressed out lately with all of the crazy things that have been going on.” She stood up and pulled me into a hug. “It's good that you're back, though; things haven't been the same without you around.”
I took a deep breath, hoping that the heat on my face wasn't as visible as it felt, and returned her hug. I took in the sweet, gentle smell of her mane; the softness of her fur against my cheek sent a shiver down my spine. “Yeah,” I said, snickering, “I bet things were pretty boring...”
Twilight laughed before letting me go. “Trust me,” she groaned, “'boring' is not the word.”
I bit my lip. “I didn't miss anything important, did I?”
Tapping a hoof on her chin, Twilight said, “Well, there was that whole situation with Discord...”
“What?” I cried, my wings bursting out instinctively.“Discord got loose again?” Why didn't they call me? We needed the Elements! I checked the sky quickly for any sign of demon mushrooms or cotton candy, but found nothing.
Twilight smiled. “Well, yes and no,” she said, laughing softly. “Celestia wanted us to reform him—he's working as the Equestrian Diplomat for Gryphonia, now. They like his brand of magic, I guess.”
My voice didn't seem to want to work. My jaw moved up and down at least, but no words came out. I must have looked really stupid, but I eventually managed to splutter: “What?”
Twilight giggled. “My thoughts exactly.” I thought she was going to elaborate, but she just stood up and faced the library. “C'mon,” she said, waving a hoof. “You don't have any packing to do, do you?”
“Well, no...” I answered, following her up the steps and trying not to stare at the gorgeous flank I was being presented with. “At least, I don't think so. What are we going to Canterlot for?”
The unicorn grimaced and looked up at the castle, barely visible in the distant mountains. “I'm not sure, really. The Princess's letter didn't really say much beyond her 'urgent need' of my presence.'”
I whistled. Never a good thing when that happens... “Sounds like some fun times await.”
“Precisely,” Twilight agreed. She opened the door and allowed me to walk through it. “We need to be ready for anything , but the short-notice has everypony in a bad mood—you saw them; they weren't happy. I can't say I blame them for being upset—I hate surprises—I just hope that they don't stay that way for long...”
“Bah.” I sat down and waved a hoof. “They'll get over it. It's not the first time we've had to drop everything and save Equestria.”
“Well, that's just it,” Twilight answered, closing the door behind her just a little too hard. “We don't really know what the problem is. Their attitudes aren't completely illogical; for all we know, this could just be another one of her pranks—remember April Foals' Day?”
I grimaced and rubbed my flank at the memory. “I try not to. How'd she even manage to get all those cactuses?”
“Cacti ,” Twilight corrected, ever the scholar. She strode across the room and opened a glass case containing five ornate necklaces and an expensive-looking tiara-thing. “Anyway,” she giggled, “I'm going to pack the Elements of Harmony, just in case.”
I shrugged. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
After retrieving a suitcase from a nearby closet, Twilight set about cramming the most powerful weapons known to ponydom into it. She hummed softly while she worked, her flank bouncing along with the beat. Every now and again, a stray lock of her violet mane would fall into her vision, and she'd pause her activities to brush it out of the way.
I could have watched her all day, but I figured that would be weird, so I got up and started exploring the shelves of the library. Searching the massive amounts of books for diamonds like Daring Do had become a favorite time-burning hobby of mine just before I'd left for the academy and I was willing to bet that at least one or two new stories had been added in the past couple months.
I wandered down the aisle, taking in the familiar sights of the hundreds of books that lined the shelves, creating a mosaic of colors and shapes that may have even rivaled a rainbow. I'd never say it out loud—I mean, I'd be branded a total egghead if anyone ever found out—but I'd managed to memorize the placement of almost every book in the Action section of Golden Oaks. I soon realized that there was a book that was out-of-place, and grabbed it to check it out.
The book fell off the shelf and onto the floor with a thump. I flipped it over with a nudge from my nose, and was greeted with the strangest cover I'd ever seen. My jaw dropped. Was that a church? And a dress? And an eight-pony chariot?
“Daring Do and the Quest for Love ?” I cried incredulously, waving a hoof at the monstrosity before my eyes. “What?”
From the far side of the library, I heard Twilight giggle. “The new Daring Do book?” she asked between fits. “Dash, it's not what you think! It's a parody.”
I frowned and poked the book, hoping that the title had been an illusion.
It wasn't.
“A what?” I asked.
Twilight laughed and poked her head into the aisle. “A parody,” she explained in that lecturing voice that somehow managed to be both cute and boring at the same time, “is a work that is created to poke fun at, or joke about, an existing work. Look at the author, Rainbow.”
I glanced down at the cover and searched for Red Morning's name, but it didn't turn up. Instead, all I found was the name U. R. A. Monkey under Daring's too-groomed-to-be-actiony tail. I snorted and pushed the book away. “That's stupid!” I declared, glaring at the party—part-rotty—par-ditty—thing —whatever the heck Twilight had called it. “Who'd wanna make fun of Daring Do? She's awesome!”
A smile grew on Twilight's face and she gave me The Look—the look that makes me melt every time I see it—the look that makes me feel like it's okay that I don't understand a lot of the things that my friends sometimes talk about—the look that makes me actually feel special, even during moments when I don't feel like I am. It was kinda like a smile, but warmer, y'know? Like no matter what I did or how stupid I acted, I could never disappoint her.
I loved that look.
“That's just it, Rainbow,” she said, “Daring Do is very popular, so the writer parodying her knew that his parody would sell well because the jokes would be understood. If he'd tried to parody Maristotle or Sun Moo, the general public wouldn't have understood what she was saying, and she wouldn't have made any money for her efforts.”
I pouted and looked back at the book. “But... Daring's too cool to be made fun of...”
Twilight laughed and disappeared behind the book case—probably going back to packing. “Oh, Rainbow Dash,” she chuckled, “Never change, okay?”
I didn't really know what she meant by that, but I figured that I must've done something really cool to get a remark like that. Something I didn't even mean to do, apparently. Slick moves! I thought excitedly, hoofpumping. Alright, Dash!
Smiling, I walked over to where I'd kicked the book. It certainly didn't look like any Daring Do book I'd ever seen before—and I'd read the whole series so far. But, Twilight said that it was supposed to be a joke, right? So, I guess it couldn't hurt to take a peek inside. Besides, what was I supposed to do while I waited for Twilight to pack?
Tentatively, I flicked over the cover and stared at the words of the first chapter. Here goes nothin'...
As Daring Do walked down the hallway of Mareshall College, she couldn't help but smile at the thought of encountering her favorite Professor of Archeology, Rosetta Stone. With a proud chuckle, Daring watched the Medallion of the Winds bounce around her neck; Rosetta was sure to appreciate this find! Maybe she'd get a little more than Bits this time, if she played her cards right...
Daring opened the door to the lecture hall, she could hear Stone drilling her students on the mechanics of the long-dead Equuish language and how it still affected modern Equestrian. She poked her head inside and saw that most of the class was droopy-eyed or outright sleeping.
Time to change that! she thought with a smirk, gearing up for her grand entrance. Sure, Stone didn't really like her bursting theatrics, but they both knew that Daring was the only reason that her students managed to keep awake during lessons.
“The term refers to the pointed end of one's hoof, which was once used by the ancient Laestrygonians for courting rituals in the—“
Daring slammed the door open with gusto and tore to the front of the room, tackling the professor to the ground upon reaching her. Stone shrieked in surprise, suddenly finding herself on the floor, and Daring laughed at the wideness of her eyes. “How's it goin', Doctor Egghead?” Daring giggled.
Rosetta's eyes narrowed sharply, her amethyst eyes barely visible behind her indigo lids. “Really, Daring?” she asked frustratedly. “How many times have I told you not to—“ Suddenly, her eyes widened once more. She brought her hoof up and held the swaying accessory still. “Is that what I think it is?” she shrieked.
Daring smiled and removed herself from atop the professor. “You betcha!” she said, showing off the sparkling medallion with pride. “And you said it was gone...”
“Sweet Celestia, Darey!” Rosetta cried, standing up and grabbing the medallion in her magic. She brought it to her face for closer inspection. “Do you even know what this means?”
Daring rolled her eyes, but turned to hide the blush crawling up her face. “Duh!” she said proudly, “It proves that the ancient pegasi of Cloudsdale used outside magic to interact with stormfronts.”
“Exactly!” the indigo unicorn cried, clapping her hooves happily. “It means that pegasi and unicorns managed to work together long before the Pre-Equestrian Era!” She turned her excited eyes to Daring and wrapped her up in a hug. “How did you get this?”
Scratching the back of her neck, Daring closed her eyes. “Aw, i-it was nothing,” she said sheepishly. “Anything for you...”
“Ugh! Are you guys gonna kiss or what?”
Daring froze; very much against her will, her wings began to rise. Acting quickly, she pushed herself away from Rosetta and fumbled for words. “Uh... Um... Er...” She surveyed the classroom, looking for the little punk that had managed to throw her off her game and whispering oaths of vile and painful torture.
A younger unicorn in the back stood up. “Seriously, Dr. Do,” she said gruffly, “This happens way too often; we're paying good Bits to learn ancient Equuish, not about how thunder-heads couldn't take care of themselves before we helped them out.”
Daring's ears dropped and cemented themselves to the sides of her skull. Biting her lip, she stepped backwards—towards the door—and surveyed the floor.
“Sparkler!” Rosetta roared, furiously stomping her way over to the pony in question. “Don't you dare say such things in my class!”
The unicorn shrugged. “Just saying what everypony's thinking.”
When nopony protested Sparkler's declaration, Stone growled.“Well, then everypony can leave!” she announced, giving them each a furious death-glare. “Class dismissed!”
Daring's eyes never left the floor as everypony filed out of the classroom. She could read their condescension through every hoofstep. Every jagged, stony glare drove into her heart worse than any spear or bullet ever could.
They were better than her—smarter. At least, that's what they thought, and who was Daring to argue with her superiors? Sure, she taught some of them, but that was her privilege as an authority in Archeology, not a common honor for dim-witted cloud-buckers like her. She was the exception, not the rule.
When the classroom was empty, a hoof settled down onto Daring's shoulder. Looking up, she saw Rosetta's warm smile. “Don't let her get to you, Darey,” she said softly. “Sparkler's a narrow-minded bigot.”
A corner of Daring's mouth perked up. “Don't worry about it,” she said, shrugging. “I'm used to it—I am the only pegasus in Mareshall, after all.”
Rosetta's eyes darkened. “You still shouldn't have to deal with that; it's not right.”
The corner of Daring's mouth perked up at that. Over three thousand ponies in the university, and the only friend she'd found in six years of teaching was in Rosetta. Of course, such a close friendship would likely always lead to stronger feelings on the part of the singled-out party, Daring reasoned, not just in her case. At least, that's what made sense.
It was only natural, right?
“C'mon, Darey,” the unicorn said, lifting the medallion from around Daring's neck. She gave the pegasus another warm smile and nuzzled her cheek.“Let's get down to the lab.”
“Hm...” A sudden voice next to my ear made me jump. “That's funny, I don't remember Daring feeling anything beyond friendship for Rosetta in the actual series.”
I looked to my right and realized that Twilight's face was barely an inch from my own. “Uh, hey, Twi...” I said trying to keep my voice steady. Her lips were so close... “Ya done packing?”
Twilight nodded. “We should get going now. You can take that with you if you like it, Rainbow.”
I looked down at the book again. I'd never been interested in frilly romance books, even after Twilight taught me that you shouldn't really judge books by their covers, but something about this one had struck a chord. I'd never really thought about it before, but Daring Do and Dr. Stone would make a perfect couple; Daring was brave and cool and fast, and Rosetta was among the best teachers in Mareshall and her research partner! On top of that, they were really close friends! How had I never realized that before? They were perfect for each other!
Still, romance books were so not cool. “It's okay,” I said, shrugging, “Not bad, I guess.”
Twilight beamed. “You see?” she said, picking up the book. “Just because you're not familiar with the genre doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it!”
I rolled my eyes and fought the urge to remind her that I was only a little ways into the story. “I guess so,” I said, picking the book up and tucking it under her wing. “But I still don't get why somepony would want to make fun of Daring...”
“Because satire sells,” Twilight assured, leading the way out of the aisle. “Ponies like to see popular things poked at, it's just one of those things.”
“It's a weird thing.”
Twilight looked over her shoulder and chuckled. “Yeah,” she said, striding over to her bags. “I guess you're right.” She grabbed her saddlebags with her magic and put them on, then turned to face me. “C'mon.” She gestured toward the door with her head. The movement did wonderful things to her mane. Very wonderful things.
I followed Twilight out the door and back down the steps of the library. Not much had changed outside—the streets were still pretty busy and the sun was still high, so they were likely to stay that way for the next few hours, at least. Twilight led the way through town, smiling and greeting everypony as she did so.
“Good afternoon, Twilight!” A greenish unicorn waved.
“Good afternoon, Lyra!” Twilight waved back.
A few more ponies greeted us on the way to the train station, but for the most part, the walk was quiet. As I watched Twilight walk—and I'm not saying I watched her, I just kinda had a hard time looking away from her... for a really long time—I wondered what it would be like to walk shoulder to shoulder with her every day, like a couple. Maybe I'd wrap my wing around her shoulders and just stroll around town with nothing really to do; then we'd go get some cookies at Sugarcube Corner and eat them in the shade of the park while we watched the town foals play and share stories from our childhoods.
We could go for walks together all the time and I could walk right next to her instead of a little behind her, like I was at the moment. While we walked, we could talk about all the things that we loved, like Daring Do and hanging out and our friends. At the end of the day, we'd curl up by the fireplace with a good book and just kinda snuggle until we both fell asleep.
Maybe I'd find out, someday, what it feels like to wake up with the mare you love sleeping right next to you, holding you tight against her chest and snoring those cute little snores that she'll never admit that she makes...
Hopefully, I'd find out someday soon.
When we got to the train station, we found ourselves line up behind some other ponies just outside the doors. Twilight sighed. “That's a long line,” she said. “I wasn't expecting this. What if we miss the train?”
Her ears drooped. I rolled my eyes but cast her a worried glance when she started tapping her hooves on the ground. She was biting her lip, darting her eyes from the clock to the booth and shaking like a leaf.
Uh, oh...
Tapping was warning sign number one of 'total neurotic freak-out' Twilight—and she was already getting antsy. Soon, if she didn't calm down, she'd go completely bonkers and start casting spells on ponies and painting the walls with her tongue or something.
In other words, it wouldn't be pretty.
“Hey,” I said, making my voice as soothing as I could make it. “It ain't so bad. Besides, it's not like they're gonna leave without us if the Princess asked for our help.”
Twilight's expression remained unchanged. “But—“
“No buts!” I said, placing a hoof over her mouth. “Seriously, Twi, you gotta learn to just go with the flow.”
She looked down at the ground, frowning. “You're right...” she muttered. “Sorry, I just hate unexpected complications...”
I shrugged. “No big deal. We all have things we hate, right? Just gotta balance 'em out with the things that we love!”
Twilight's lip curled up a little. “That was pretty wise, Rainbow,” she said, poking me in the chest. “You sure all they taught you at that camp was how to fly?”
My heart lurched at the mention of the academy. “Y-yeah...” I said, eying a particularly odd-shaped rock on the ground. “'Fraid so...”
“Oh my gosh!” Twilight cried out suddenly. I looked up to see her wide eyes dawning with a realization of some sort. “I completely forgot! How did it go? Did you pass?”
I bit my lip and looked back at the rock. It was a really strange-looking rock. “Yeah...” I said, a little quieter than I meant to. “Flying colors...”
Almost instantly, I was wrapped in one of the tightest embraces I'd ever been in—excluding those initiated by Pinkie, nopony hugs like that mare. “That's great news!” she exclaimed. “I'm so proud of you, Rainbow! I knew you could do it!”
I chuckled awkwardly and tried to ignore the heat accumulating in my cheeks as she nuzzled against my neck. “Th-thanks...”
I wondered, as she pulled away, what Twilight would say when I told her that I'd turned them down. Would she be upset? Would she tell me that I was dumb for turning away the biggest honor that had ever come my way? Would she laugh at the choice that looked stupider and stupider the longer I thought about it?
“Next!”
…Or would she be happy?
“Next!”
Nah, she'd be happy. Now, I'd have all kinds of time to spend with her and our friends. Plus, it'd be kinda hard to keep a relationship together if I was always gone, anyway. Twilight would be home alone all the time with nopony to keep her company. I could never do that to her.
“Next in line, please!”
A sudden push forward jerked me back into reality. I stumbled forward, barely managing to catch myself, and looked around. Somehow, the whole front half of the line had disappeared.
The stallion in the booth was waiting impatiently. Twilight was standing off to the side, giving me a strange look. The ticketpony knocked his hoof on the frame of his window, wearing a scowl. “Next!”
There was a chorus of groans. “Hey, get a move on already!” someone behind me cried.
Gulping, I slunk to the Ticketmaster's window and tossed a few Bits onto the counter. “Um, I'm with her...” I gestured at Twilight.
The stallion gave me a cold glare.
“Heh, sorry?”
Without saying a thing, the ticketpony tapped a few buttons on his machine and scooped up my Bits. After depositing them in the machine, he slapped a ticket on the counter and called for the next pony in line.
After I grabbed my ticket, I bolted out of the way of the other ponies and ran straight for Twilight at the entrance to the platform. She held the gate open for me while I ducked inside.
“Thanks,” I said, looking back at the line. A great many of the ponies in it were still staring at me. Quickly turning around, I brushed past my friend and continued down the boarding area.
“Uh...” Twilight's eyes followed me as I strode past her. “Don't mention it?”
In any other circumstance, it would've been cool to know that Twi's eyes were all over me—but not after a blunder like that. I don't remember ever having to focus on not falling down while walking, but here I was, watching every hoof make it's way down to the floor like a toddling foal. Even then, I nearly tripped over an abandoned suitcase.
“Uh, Rainbow? Are you okay?” she called behind me. I ignored her; hopefully, she'd think her voice just wasn't loud enough to get to me amongst all the chaos of the station.
The docking area was busy, but not so crowded that I had to worry about losing Twilight. With some careful navigation, I managed to avoid the judgmental stares of everypony else as I made my way to a secluded bench on the far side of the station. Sitting down, I maintained my focus on the ground and waited for Twilight to catch up.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Twilight approach and sit down beside me. Her hooves squirmed a bit on the concrete as she purposely avoided looking at me. After a moment of silence, she spoke up with a too-cheerful-to-be-genuine voice, “So, uh, I bet the others will be here soon!”
I bit my lip. How had things gone so wrong? All I'd done was think about Twilight and I'd somehow managed to make a scene; now, everypony was probably either mad at me, or laughing on the inside over my stupidity.
I didn't know which was worse.
“Yep...” she continued, rocking back and forth on her haunches. “Any time now...”
Sure, I liked Twilight—heck, I loved her. At least, I think I did, I couldn't say for sure, with so little experience with this stuff, but there was something there. I just don't remember it being so strong before. Here I was, stuttering and blushing and tripping over myself; I used to be so good at being cool around her, too. I'd thought all that stupid stuff was behind me...
Maybe I'd missed her too much while I was at the academy. I'd thought about her every day, and dreams of her kept me motivated and ready to fly at a moment's notice. But that was normal, right? Everypony thinks of their friends when they're away. Probably not as much as I thought about Twilight, though—too much, really; I'd often missed the key parts of lectures while trying to remember what her mane looked like when in flowed in the breeze.
Maybe it was just time to tell her how I feel, like Spitfire had said? Really, what was holding me back?
Myself?
Twilight sighed. “Rainbow?” she asked, stretching down to my level, “Are you okay? What's wrong?”
I looked up at her and felt a strange kind of floating feeling in my chest; she was giving me The Look again—that tender, caring look. I smiled a little at the sight; Twilight always manages to make me feel better, even when she's the problem.
“Nothin',” I said, shrugging. “It's just...”
“Just what?” Twilight asked, her brow now cocked.
I took a deep, albeit shaky, breath. Yeah, it was time. Mustering up all the strength I had, I looked her straight in her shining eyes and began to speak. “Twi, we're best friends, right?”
Her nose wrinkled. “Of course,” she said automatically, giving me a careful look.
“A-and we'll always be best friends, right? N-no matter what?” I fought the urge to look back down at the floor—I needed to look at her for this! I couldn't look like some scaredy-pony!
“Well, yeah...” Twilight answered. She furrowed her brow and her voice took on a gentler tone.“Rainbow, are you sure you're okay?”
I gulped hard and nodded. Here goes.. . “Twi, I-I... I kinda lo—“
“Twi-i-i-li-i-i-i-ght! Da-a-a-shie-e-e-e-e!” A loud, vociferous voice called out.
“Huh?” I looked over my shoulder to see Pinkie Pie standing across the room, waving wildly.
I stifled a growl as Twilight waved back. Really? This really has to happen right now?
Pinkie darted through the throngs of ponies between us and, somehow managing to not touch the ground once, made it to the benches in just under a few seconds. “Hi, girls!” she cheered, wrapping us both in her embrace. This caused my head to crash into Twilight's. I barely had time to dodge the point of her horn.
“Ow!”
“Ouch!”
“Aren't you guys excited?” the earth pony squealed, shaking us in her grip. “Well, the Cakes weren't, but they understand!”
When she let us go, I backed off a few steps with a snort. Twilight and Pinks talked for a bit about something-or-other before the latter gestured at me. “Hey Dashie?” she asked with a head-tilt, “Are you okay? Is something wrong with your wings?”
The realization that, as I had been glaring daggers at my magenta friend, my wings had risen to an attack position surprised me. Sure, she'd messed up my talk with Twilight, but it wasn't like it was her fault. After all, it was just crappy timing. Really crappy timing.
I sighed. “Nah, Pinks,” I said, locking my wings tight to my sides. I picked up my book and sat down on the floor. “I'm good.” I turned my eyes away from them as they started to talk again, trying not drill a hole in Pinkie's head.
Life sucks, I decided. Why even bother trying anything when all it ever does is go wrong?
It wasn't like it was the only chance I'd ever get in my life, but still, it was the only time I'd ever felt brave enough to say what I had on my mind. I sighed and wiped a tear from my eye. And Pinkie ruined it...
A few moments later, I spotted AJ and Fluttershy making their way through the gates, and I flagged them down. Not long after, Rarity showed up and started complaining about something Sweetie Belle had done with her flawless diamonds and a lint-brush. We stood around, just kinda hanging out before the conductor called out for us to board.
As the others filed in, I found myself waiting next to Twilight.
“Hey,” she said, poking me in the chest. “What were you trying to say earlier?”
I bit my lip and looked down at the ground. “Nevermind,” I said. Now was not the time to tell her, amidst all these ponies and their watching eyes... “It was nothing important...”
Daring snuggled farther into Rosetta's embrace, milking the unicorn's body for every drop of warmth it could spare. It had been a long night of research into the Ancient Cloudsdalian Ecological Manipulation Systems, and both her and her favorite professor were dead tired. Yawning, Daring slowly opened her tired eyes to see the first rays of sunrise sparkling against the snow and peeking through the window.
It's so late... she groaned inwardly. My schedule's gonna be messed up for days...
Though Rosetta's touch was completely platonic, Daring still felt chills running down her spine at the thought of her current position. She was so comfortable, snuggled up against her best friend's belly, that she didn't notice her eyes growing heavier and heavier as the minutes dragged by.
Stone had fallen asleep hours ago, her head slumped over her pile of notes and, somewhat ironically given the situation, with her foreleg wrapped around Daring's midsection. Naturally, Daring had immediately complied when the indigo mare's unconscious hoof pulled her close and held her tight. Now, they lay together on the floor of the Rosetta's and Daring's private library with the first rays of sunlight trickling down on them.
Scenes like this weren't atypical between the two; after years of friendship, Daring and Rosetta had developed a close, personal relationship that Daring could only describe as magical. They regularly ate dinner out, collapsed upon their piles of notes or spent days out of the lecture halls for research purposes—and maybe it was just Daring's imagination, but they seemed to grow closer and closer with every passing day.
Daring couldn't help but notice all the little things that Rosetta would do every now and then—a cursory glance, a smile, a giggle, the special moment they shared when Daring bounced into her classroom with yet another incredible find. Her heart would skip a beat whenever she realized she was staring at her friend, just before Rosetta's head would turn to catch her in the act and smirk. Every time they conducted research, graded tests or even studied up on rusty subjects together, they would, without fail, always wind up huddled over the same book with mere inches separating their muzzles and no space at all between their sides.
It wasn't that Daring was frightened or secretive of her feelings, she just didn't advertise them. Surely, she thought, there was a difference between not talking about something and actively trying to hide it. If asked what her feelings for the professor were, she would tell the simple truth—that nopony had ever made her feel more special or happy and that nopony could even think of rivaling Rosetta's beauty or intellect. There just wasn't any real time for Daring to say anything. They both led such busy lives and they hardly had any room in them for romance.
Still, the ache of keeping her feelings to herself was growing difficult to bear and every time she thought she had a good chance to explain herself, Rosetta seemed to be busy studying or grading—or the timing was awful, or the dining area had other ponies in it, or Daring's hat wasn't straight enough, or the weather was too hot, or the clouds weren't poofy enough, or the stallion across the restaurant's soup wasn't hot enough.
Daring just couldn't catch a break, it seemed, but snuggled up against the unicorn's belly on their little spot of floor, she made herself a promise: She would tell Rosetta about her feelings tomorrow, no matter what manner of problem was thrown at her. A smile crept onto her face as she imagined the unicorn's response.
Satisfied, Daring sank deeper into her friend's warm embrace and eased into a gentle sleep. She couldn't wait to spend even more nights like this with Rosetta—only they would be better than this night, because they would be together; she had little doubt of that.
Rosetta's squirmed a bit, murmuring something in her sleep and pulling Daring even deeper into—
“What're you readin' over there, RD?”
I looked up from my book and saw Applejack leaning back in her chair on the other side of the compartment. She was chewing of a sprig of wheat and her hat was pulled down low.
I covered the front of the book with my hooves as fast as I could; there was no need for Applejack , of all ponies, to know that I was reading something so... soppy. “Nothin',” I answered, hugging the book close to my chest and ignoring the heat on my cheeks. “I-it's just some Daring Do, y'know?”
Applejack raised the brim of her hat and eyeballed me. After a moment of silence, she leaned back into her chair and closed her eyes again. “Uh-huh... Any good?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
Applejack chuckled. “I bet you missed those, didn't you? Got much to catch up on?”
“Not really,” I answered. “I only have this one. It takes a really long time to write books.”
“You speakin' from experience there, Rainbow?”
I huffed. “Shut up!” I couldn't help but whine, “I get it, okay? I'm not a good writer. You don't have to rub it in...”
“I thought it was good,” Applejack countered with a smirk. “I always wanted to read your dreams in story form.”
I stuck my tongue out and blew her a raspberry. I didn't know what else to do at that point—she was right, after all.
“Speakin' o' which,” she continued, “congratulations, RD, I'm proud of you!”
“Huh?”
“The Wonderbolts?” Applejack smiled. “Twilight told me you made it! When do you start?”
“Oh...” My ears drooped. AJ's wheat sprig bounced as she gnawed on it. Up and down, up and down, up and down... “Yeah... I don't know...”
Applejack's head cocked. She picked her hat up once more, but this time, her expression was one of concern. “You okay, Rainbow?”
“What?” I cried, looking back up at her. “Of course I am! I-I'm as okay as ever! Why do you ask? Don't I look okay?”
“Just seems like you'd be happier 's all,” she said, frowning. “What's wrong?”
Stupid AJ, you just can't slip anything past her—she could spot any lie from a mile away. I knew I should have roomed with Fluttershy. I scooted closer to the edge of the seat and dangled my hind legs over it. The chair was one of those big, cushiony comfort chairs that are way too high off the ground for normal ponies to touch the bottom, so my hooves hung a good ways from the floor. I didn't think I had felt that small since I was a filly.
I sighed and let my wings hang free. “You promise not to tell anyone?” I asked. “Just for now? Until I can figure out how to say it?”
Applejack frowned. “'Course not,” she said, hopping down from her seat and sidling over to where I was sitting. “Not unless you want me to...” She laid a hoof on my knee. “Now, what's wrong?”
My eyes were starting to sting again, so I shut them tight. “Th-they invited me to join their Class A Division, AJ...”
There was a brief moment of silence before the earth pony spoke up, her tone carrying more than just a hint of confusion. “Well... that's, uh... great news?”
I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I... I told them 'no.'”
When Applejack didn't respond, I opened my eyes to look at her. Her brow was raised, her eyes wide open. “Now what in tarnation would you go an' do a darn fool thing like that for? I thought bein' a Wonderbolt was your dream, girl!”
I sniffled. “It was...”
“Well... what changed, Sugarcube?” Her voice was quiet—too quiet. She sounded like she thought she was tending to a baby or something.
I growled. Applejack was a good friend—a great friend, one I could always go to for advice—but she was still Applejack, and I couldn't stand the idea of her talking to me like I was a wuss. I couldn't just tell her that I'd given up on the Wonderbolts because I'd gotten soft ! She'd never respect me again!
I got up from my chair and hopped down to the floor. Applejack stepped to the side as I pushed past her, though she was not entirely pleased to do so. Striding over to the compartment door, I opened it and stood there, contemplating a response.
I'd hoped that three months in the Wonderbolt Academy would be enough for me to get over my silly crush. Obviously, it wasn't—and the longer I thought about it, the less I was sure it was just simple infatuation. I mean, I'd even skydrew her cutiemark during a free-fly session after lunch one day—while I was talking to my classmates!
I took a deep breath. “Nothing changed, AJ,” I said wistfully. “Nothing at all.” I walked out of the room, sliding the door shut behind me so she couldn't follow, and made my way down the aisle towards the dining cart; I didn't need the poor-yous or what's-wrongs from anypony, especially her —it was just... wrong.
The hallway was empty, more or less—a few ponies were mulling around, but they were far and few between. As I passed by the compartments, I could hear the ponies inside having fun. They were cheering and laughing and telling jokes—Pinkie Pie's room was blasting some kind of strange polka music on top of her howls and screams of delight. I paused to listen, for a moment, when I passed by Twilight's door, but I didn't hear anything at all.
Figures, I thought. She's probably reading or doing some other weird egghead thing. I frowned. Briefly, I considered knocking on the door and asking to talk to her—maybe try telling her about my feelings again—but the thought of talking to her again after I failed so miserably before filled me with dread. Besides, Fluttershy was roomed with her—the conversation wouldn't exactly be private, and I was sure that Twilight wouldn't appreciate having that kind of exchange in front of somepony else.
I continued on my way down the hall and opened the door to the dining cart. It was kind of small, but somehow still roomy, and it had plenty of seats. The lights were a bit dimmed inside, but the sunlight from the windows was more than enough to see by. A few ponies were talking at a small bar in the back, but I slid myself into one of the first booths by the entrance and stared out the window.
“—don't think that's right at all, leavin' a stallion at the alter like that.” the bartender said. A few seconds later, the clinking of bottles sounded. “That's just cruel.”
“Mmhm,” a throaty stallion grunted. “The poor bastard; it ain't easy, dealin' with that.”
“I heard they found him with a knife in his hotel room,” somepony else chimed in. “Courts ordered him to take a leave of absence until he gets his head on straight.”
“I'm sure that's just a rumor,” said the bartender, “he's the Mayor of Manehatten, I'm certain he's dealt with more stress than this.”
“If it's true what they say, then I hardly blame him,” the stallion drawled. “Ain't too many things worse in life than losin' your love.” His glass clinked as he set it back down on the bar. “Drive anypony crazy—especially after all he's sacrificed.”
I sighed and tuned them out to watch the scenery pass by. The greens and blues and yellows mixed together to create a moving picture that could rival any fancy painting in Canterlot, I was sure. I saw a flock of geese flying to the south. I caught sight of a woodchuck charging across a field with his cheeks stuffed full of nuts. In the distance, a huge, towering bull moose and his family were wading through a marsh, their long legs coated in mud and leaves.
I chuckled a bit when the smallest moose—their calf, probably—stumbled through the muck and fell. He lay there for a moment, struggling against the slippery earth, but his inexperienced hooves found no purchase to cling to. For a scary moment, it looked like he'd gotten himself good and stuck, he stopped fighting gravity and sunk deeper into the earth, but then his mother nudged him back up and, after a few shaky steps, he was swinging right along with his parents again, happy as ever.
“I love it when we travel,” a quiet voice sounded far too close. “The sights from the train are always so beautiful...”
I jumped at the sudden intrusion. Spinning my head, I noticed a yellow pegasus sitting on the other side of the table. “Fluttershy? Where did you come from?”
She gave me a funny look. “Um... I've been sitting here this whole time, Rainbow,” she said, gesturing to her half-eaten plate of salad. Her eyes suddenly grew wide as a grimace overtook her features. “Oh! Did you want to be alone? I'm sorry...”
I rolled my eyes. “No, Shy,” I groaned. “I just didn't see you there. I've been kinda distracted lately...”
“Oh...” Her eyes drifted back down to her salad. “Um, what's wrong?”
I snorted. I'd just spilled my guts to Applejack, I wasn't too keen on doing it again—especially when the pony I'd be doing it to would cry harder than me! “Nothing,” I said firmly. “Stuff... kinda. Don't worry about it.” I waved a hoof for emphasis.
“...Are you sure?” she pressed, giving me a skeptical look. “You look like you could use an ear. Um... not that you can't handle things by yourself, it's just that—”
“Yeah, yeah,” I waved a hoof. That pony could be so paranoid sometimes. “I get it, Shy. But really, I'll be fine.”
I hope...
“What was that?”
I bit my lip. Had I actually said that last bit out loud? I hadn't meant to! Stupid, stupid! She's not gonna let it drop now!
“Nothing!” I smiled at her, making sure to show every single one of my pearly whites. I've brushed every day, twice a day since I was trained to; my teeth are a marvel to look at, if I do say so myself.
And I do.
Fluttershy's wing twitched, and, for just a split second, I could have sworn her lip curled back into a deep snarl before she smiled back. “Okay,” she answered evenly, returning to her salad.
I cocked an eyebrow. It was very unlike Fluttershy to just ignore a slip-of-the-tongue like that. I was surprised that she wasn't trying to stare me down for the information she wanted. Maybe she'd actually taken the hint for once?
Yeah, right; that pony had once forced me to confess to her that I'd accidentally dropped my entire collection of Stable Mares magazines into the Ponyville lake back when I'd first moved into my house, then spent an hour trying to “comfort” me for my loss. Fluttershy was a caring pony, the only problem was that, sometimes, she could be a little too caring.
So what was different about this time?
There was a moment of silence, broken only occasionally by the discussion of the ponies around the bar. Fluttershy's eyes never left her plate as she stabbed the leafy greens on it and brought them to her mouth. Even while chewing, her eyes never rose farther than her fork. I hate silence. It means things are awkward. Why should things be awkward with friends?
“So, uh, what brings you out here?” I started casually, leaning back in my booth in what was supposed to be a cool action, but resulted in my falling back into the cushion after misjudging the distance. “I mean, I thought you'd be in your room with Twilight.”
Fluttershy continued to chew her food placidly.
“I mean, you guys must have like, the coolest set-up in there, right? She likes to read; you're really quiet...”
With an grunt, she reached out with her fork to scoop up some more lettuce and bring it to her mouth.
“Totally cool. And really understandable, actually. I mean, she couldn't possibly read if she'd roomed with Pinkie 'cause she's so loud and hyperactive and stuff—she'd never be able to concentrate...”
Fluttershy swallowed and looked up. After a moment, she went back to eating, and I gave up as the silence took over again.
Whatever, I didn't need to talk to anypony to keep myself entertained. Fluttershy had never been very exciting anyway. Somepony like Pinkie was more my speed. With her over-the-top super-crazy antics, I was almost always guaranteed to have a good time—like that time when there was ten of her and we were down by the lake. Sure, that was kinda scary, but it was also really fun. I wondered what I would do if I had to watch paint dry for hours until I'd proven my legitimacy, or face Twilight's wrath.
I shivered as I remembered the look on Twilight's face as she'd cast those spells. She'd looked really cool—a bit scary, but still really cool. She'd been so confident , so sure of herself. I wasn't so sure that I would be, in her position, when faced with the Pinkopalypse. Actually, even she shouldn't have been so cool about it; dozens of Pinkie Pies charging up and down the streets was certainly not something that had been expected for the day and things like that usually drive her nuts!
Still, she looks really cute when she's upset. She taps the ground and her nose gets all scrunched up and she starts pacing around like the ground is too hot for her hooves or something. Come to think of it, there isn't really anything that Twi does that isn't cute. Even her scowls of discontent were adorable, with her scrunched up eyes and flared nostrils—
I groaned and buried my head in my forehooves. Even when I don't wanna think about her...
“That doesn't look like 'nothing' to me...” Fluttershy commented, barely loud enough for me to hear.
I looked up from the table and growled. “Shut up! I'm fine !”
The buttercup mare yelped and shrunk back into her seat with a look of total panic. “I'm sorry!” she cried, shivering behind her mane. “I-I just wanted help—“
“I don't need your help, Fluttershy!” I argued, getting up from the booth. “And I don't want it, either—or anypony else's, for that matter!”
The bit of her face that hadn't disappeared behind her mane quickly did just that as the yellow pony squealed. “I-I—”
“Just mind your own dang business, for once!” I cried, bashing my hoof on the table. Her plate bounced and turned over, launching a mess of leafy greens onto the table and floor. “I'm not one of your stupid animals, so stop acting like I am!”
Ignoring the stares of the other ponies, I stomped out of the room and slammed the door shut. “Stupid Fluttershy!” I huffed, crashing down the hall. “Stupid Applejack!” I shoved somepony aside and completely ignored Twilight's door when I passed it. “Stupid Twilight!” My eyes were really stinging now, and I could barely make out anything through the blurriness. “Stupid Wonderbolts!”
Finding myself at a dead-end, I ripped open the last door to reveal the outside world. “Stupid life !”
The wind blew my mane around in a prismatic inferno. I let go of the door, and it slammed itself shut tight against the frame. I rammed my hoof into the iron guardrail and screamed as loud as I could—which wasn't very loud, considering the whooshing of air that surrounded me.
I'd overreacted—I knew I had. I probably just made Fluttershy cry, actually, but I just couldn't take it anymore; first Applejack, then Fluttershy—were all of my friends going to grill me on my personal life? Like I don't get that enough from my own stupid brain!
I felt my weight shift as the train made a major turn around a rock formation. Gripping the iron pole, I flapped my wings a few times to make sure I didn't go crashing into a wall. That would have been unpleasant. I could already feel the impact of my head against the wood.
When the train stopped turning, I relaxed my grip on the bars and watched the scenery go by. I wondered how fast we were going that I had to worry about head injuries. A few trees passed by in the span of a couple seconds. Here and gone.
Not that fast... I grunted. I could totally fly way faster than this thing. My ears perked up and I flapped my wings a few more times. Now there's a thought!
Flying always solved everything!
When I was up in the sky, the world just seemed to make so much more sense; I could think clearer than ever and even my biggest problems didn't seem so big. Nopony could bother me up there, either! Nopony had wings, except Fluttershy, of course, but there was no way she could keep up with me! I wouldn't have anypony bugging me or asking me “what's wrong,” with their stupid pitying faces! Heck, what was I still doing on the train?
With a few beats of my wings, I glided over the rail and began my ascent into the world above. I focused on nothing but flapping my wings and reaching a decent height for a few minutes, before I noticed the sky: it was a gloomy ceiling with no blue in sight. Heck, even the sun wasn't visible through the thick blanket of clouds. I sighed. The clouds were haze gray and thick and constant; they covered the sky like a huge, insurmountable wall.
I spiraled through the air a few times and tried to clear my mind. The air was cool, but very humid thanks to the clouds hanging over me, so it was a little harder to get that awesome feeling of breathing fresh air in my lungs, but I was still flying! I was high in the sky and far away from everypony in the world! Just me, my wings and the clouds—those dark, depressing, kinda scary-looking clouds...
Whatever, they were just clouds; I could buck the heck out of any cloud in my sleep! I'd proven that dozens of times, like when I cleared the whole sky to prove it to Twilight on the day before the Summer Sun Celebration! I smiled as I remembered her face after I'd done it—it was priceless! With that messed-up mane and dropped jaw, her sparkling eyes and shining lavender coat...
I shook my head and sped up my flapping until my muscles started to burn. Get a grip, Dash! I scolded myself.
Relishing in the clarity that the sweet stinging of my limbs brought me, I quickly surpassed the train. The trees were getting blurry, and the boards of the tracks were starting to blend together. I like speed, it's the ultimate in mind-numbing techniques; if you aren't paying attention when you're going really fast, you're likely to crash into something and get hurt. I knew I couldn't go too far or too fast, lest I leave the train too far behind, but I didn't want to go too slow either, or I might lose my focus again.
I wasn't exactly world renowned for my abilities to concentrate on anything—Spitfire often yelled at me for daydreaming in formation back in the academy—but I knew that if I tried hard enough, I could get Twilight out of my mind; I'd managed to do it when I was training—I remembered when my flying partners and I would talk for hours about what we would do when we got accepted into the organization; we'd talk about parties we'd attend, friends we'd brag to, celebrities we'd schmooze, but I didn't think we'd ever brought up failure. Heck, I'd never even thought about the possibility of failure—none of us did—it just wasn't an option! I needed the Wonderbolts and they needed me! I couldn't possibly fail! And I didn't! I might as well have though. I might as well have never even gone to the academy at all! The only thing I learned while I was there was what could have been if I'd been strong enough to ignore that stupid feeling I got in my chest every time I thought about—
With a snarl, I flapped my wings harder, ignoring their screams of protest. What was wrong with me? Flying always helped! I always felt way better after zooming through the sky, so why not now, when I really, truly needed it? Why was it failing me the only time I needed to just leave the stupid world behind and just forget everything?
Why did Twilight have to be so dang cute? Why did the Wonderbolts have to be so freaking awesome? Why did I have to be so stupidly sappy? Why did Pinkie have to go and interrupt me right in the middle of talking to Twilight? Why couldn't Flutterhsy leave me alone? Why couldn't I be braver?
Why couldn't I just bucking fly?
I felt trapped—like I was locked in an iron cell and nopony anywhere had the key. Everywhere I went, these stupid thoughts followed like a stray dog begging for scraps of food that I didn't have. I wished it were so simple—if only so I could lock the dog in the cage and walk away for a while, then come back when I actually had something for him to eat.
I growled in frustration when I distractedly missed a wing beat and—for a heart-stopping moment—entered a free-fall. I recovered easily, but I lost a lot of altitude in the process. “Ugh! Why is this so hard?” I cried out, waving my forelegs at the sky. I didn't get any response but the continued rolling of darkened cumulus. I huffed and crossed my forelegs. “Fine!” I grumbled, “Whatever! I give up!” I slowed down and waited for the train to catch up to me. With a few swift movements, I landed back on the deck and walked inside.
The halls were quiet now; the only sound I could make out was the rhythmic chugging of the train engine. I hoped I wouldn't run across Fluttershy—I didn't think I could handle her crying on top of everything else. I'd apologize to her later, but for now, I just wanted to go back to my room and take a nap or something.
As I passed Twilight's door again, I hesitated; if Fluttershy was still in the dining cart, then this might be my big chance to finally tell her about my feelings without getting interrupted!
Did I want to try again? Of course I wanted to! But... wouldn't everything would change after that? After all, we'd... we'd be... My heart started to pound wildly. I grinned as I imagined everything with perfect clarity—the surprised light in her eyes, the slowly widening smile upon her blushing face when we both leaned in to kiss...
I could hear my blood rushing in my ears and I felt my cheeks grow hotter and hotter with each passing moment. Like the crescendo of a song, my life was at it's peak; I would remember this one moment for the rest of my life. I had to be brave; years from now I would look back on this day with Twilight as we held each other in our bed. My heart swelled with pride as I knocked on the door and put on my patented Rainbow Dash grin—known to be able to charm crowds of thousands. Except, this time, it was for just one pony: Twilight Sparkle.
After a few moments, the door slid open to reveal my favorite pony in all her glory. Her beautiful mane fell down around her neck and flowed perfectly with her shoulders. Her coat was clean and brushed—no doubt Twilight had pulled out all the stops in her preparations to meet with the Princesses. Heck, she looked pretty enough to be a princess! She gave me a puzzled look for a moment before smiling. “Oh! Hello, Rainbow! Is there something you need?”
I took a deep breath and tried to avoid looking too deep into her sparkling eyes. “Uh, yeah...” I started, licking my lips. “C-can I talk to you?”
“Of course!” she said instantly. She opened the door wider and motioned for me to come inside. “What's wrong?”
I took a few steps inside her compartment and sat beside one of the beds. There was an open book sitting on the table next to a steaming cup of tea. A few suitcases were stacked in the corner by the window. “Uh...” I scratched the back of my suddenly itchy neck. “Nothing's really wrong ,” I answered as she closed the door and walked over to where I was sitting. “I just kinda... wanted to tell you something...”
Twilight's head cocked to the side. “Oh?” she asked, “Is this about before?”
My heart was racing. My throat felt dry. My stomach felt like it was going to float away if I didn't tie it down with one of AJ's bull-ropes. I nodded. “Mmhmm...”
I jumped as something settled on my shoulder. “Rainbow?” Twilight's face was only inches from my own as she spoke. “Are you sure you're okay?”
My heart skipped a beat. Twilight was touching me, I realized. Twilight was touching me! Oh, Celestia! Twilight was touching me!
I almost slapped myself right there; it took almost all of my strength not to, but I didn't want to freak out Twilight. Get a grip! It's not like she's never touched you before!
Twilight frowned. “Rainbow?”
“Twi...” I looked back up at her, trying not to squirm too much. “Remember back at the train station? I-I wanted to tell you something, but then Pinkie Pie kinda... well...” I trailed off, letting my wings fall to the floor.
Nodding, Twilight sat down. “Yes, but I thought you said it wasn't anything important...”
I clicked my hooves on the floor and watched as the dirty, stained wood tried to suck them like a sponge. “It was to me ...” I mumbled.
“Then why did you say it wasn't?”
I gulped. “W-well, it wasn't really at the the time...” I said quietly. “All those ponies, a-and the others...” I took a deep breath to keep from shuddering at the thought. “But I don't wanna keep it a secret anymore, Twi; it hurts too much...”
Twilight frowned. “Keep what a secret?” she asked. “Rainbow, what aren't you telling me?”
“W-well, um, you see...” I shifted my weight from one hoof to the other as Twilight's eyes bored into my face. My cheeks grew hot. “Th-the truth is... I... I kinda, um...” I stopped to take another deep breath. “I, um, I-I really like you...”
When it was out, I opened my eyes—I hadn't even realized that I'd shut them! Twilight was smiling. She gave me a playful shove and rolled her eyes.
“Well, duh !” she laughed. “It's kinda hard to be friends with somepony you don't like!”
I frowned. “I... Twi, I didn't mean... I meant I like you like you...” I pressed, biting my lip. I took a step forward and closed the small gap between us. I looked her square in her gorgeous amethyst eyes and finished. “Heck, I think I love you...” I leaned forward and sealed the deal, planting my lips directly onto hers. She smelled like lilacs and she was soft and warm and a million other things that I knew she'd be. I fought back a giggle—she wasn't going to misinterpret this!
I wasn't sure what I expected; to be honest, I was pretty sure she would lean into the kiss and we'd have a really awesome make-out session or something. What I wasn't expecting though, was for her to stumble backwards and fall to the ground. I especially wasn't expecting the look of sheer horror on her face. Her jaw bounced up and down, forming words she didn't have the breath to say aloud.
My wings twitched. “Uh, Twi?” I stammered, fighting the sinking feeling I felt building up in my gut. “A-are you—”
Without warning, my vision was flooded in a pinkish haze. I experienced a sudden feeling of vertigo as the world flipped and spun around me in a torrent of colors before I crashed into something—hard. My left wing exploded in pain as I hit something else soon afterward. There was a loud slam, then nothing.
Once I got my vision back, I realized that I was back in the hall. I'd been flung like a rag-doll and I'd landed upside down with my legs against the wall. Twilight's door was shut and I had a good feeling that it wasn't about to open anytime soon.
I picked myself up off the floor and flexed my wing. A sharp jolt rocked through my limb, but it wasn't bent out of place or showing any bone, so it wasn't like I was going to die or anything. I looked back at the door. No, I wasn't going to die from a sprained wing-joint...
A cold feeling settled in my chest.
I was alone in the halls again.
All alone...
Author's Note
Sorry about the delay, guys--for some reason, none of my stop italics codes saved and I had to fix them during my lunch break.
EDIT: For some reason, it appears that nobody got the note on the update, so I republished. Sorry if you got it twice.
The train lurched to a halt with its wheels screeching and various bits and bobs clanking and banging. A voice came over the intercom and announced our arrival in Canterlot. Dozens of voices flooded the hall outside of the room as ponies made their way out of their rooms and off of the train.
"Hey..." Applejack said softly. “Sugarcube?” She tapped my on the shoulder lightly—like she thought I was going to bite her face off or something. "C'mon, we're here..."
I groaned and dug myself deeper into the damp folds of my pillow. “Lemme 'lone!” I choked. “'m goinome!”
“Rainbow...” She shook me harder. “C'mon, you've been mopin' around for hours!”
I sniffled and picked my head up. Applejack smiled warmly—too warmly. It reminded me of the look that Twilight always gave me—so soft and caring... I wiped my eyes and opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out.
Applejack wrapped a foreleg around my hoof and guided me off the bed. I set a shaky hoof on the floor and tried to pull away from her, but AJ's grip was like iron. “Lemme go!” I whined, jerking against her. “I don't wanna go!”
“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack's words cut through the air like a knife. Her tone was sharp, but not uncaring. I stopped pulling. “Look at me.”
I wiped my eyes with my free hoof and looked up with a sniffle. I tried to slow my breathing down, but I couldn't do anything about my shaking limbs. “Wh-what?” I tried to sound angry, but my voice cracked instead and made me sound pathetic.
Without warning, Applejack pulled me into a hug. “Ah know you made a mistake, Sugarcube,” she said softly, patting my back. “But cryin' about it ain't gonna do you any good, okay? There are other flight teams, right?”
I tried to protest—she was treating me like a baby!—but all that came out were blubbers and moans. I hated this. I hated all of it! I hated that Applejack kept acting like this; I hated that I'd blown up at Fluttershy; I hated that I'd turned down the Wonderbolts; I hated that Twilight had thrown me out of her room like a sack of garbage—but most of all, I hated what all of this stupid stuff had done to me! Me! Rainbow Dash!
I wasn't supposed to cry!
Rainbow Dash doesn't cry!
But... but I didn't really feel like Rainbow Dash at the moment. I felt more like... like... I didn't know. All I knew was that I couldn't have been in more pain if somepony had just ripped out all of my internal organs or sprayed me with dragonfire.
Applejack squeezed me tighter and patted me on the back. After a moment, she sighed and let me go. She grabbed her saddlebags and motioned for me to follow her. “C'mon, Sugarcube,” she said softly. “Let's go.” I wiped my nose, grabbed my book off the table, then followed her out the door.
The hall was bustling with activity. Ponies were wandering about, all talking about this or that with their friends or hurrying to the exits. I cried out when a particularly rude stallion shoved his way through the crowd and pushed me into Applejack. I tucked my wing in close as a jolt of pain rocked through it. I bit my lip and sucked in a deep breath. Yep, that's definitely sprained.
“Hey!” Applejack yelled, stomping her hoof. “You can't just—aw horseapples, he ain't even listenin'...” She helped me back up and gave me another one of those stupid pitying smiles. “You okay?”
“I'm fine!” I snapped, pulling my hoof away and standing myself up. I didn't need any of her stupid pity! So what if I felt like the whole world was broken? So what if my wing was hurt and I probably wouldn't be able to fly straight for weeks? So what if all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry? I was Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash does not accept pity from anypony! Especially not ponies named Applejack! “I'm not a baby!”
Applejack frowned. “I never said you were, Sugarcube. I just wanted to help—”
“Maybe I don't want your help!” I growled. “Maybe I don't need it!”
“Rainbow, I'm worried—”
“Don't be.” I pushed past her and spotted Pinkie Pie bounding down the hall. “Let's just get off this stupid train,” I said, forging a beeline to the exit.
The Canterlot sky was darkened and coated with angry looking thunderheads. They swirled and shifted and pulsed and lit up the sky with sparks of lightning. There wasn't any rain falling yet, but with clouds like those, it was only a matter of time.
Pinkie and Rarity were sitting off to the side, next to a wall with a cork-board that was coated with various fliers, advertisements and “lost dog” posters. I made my way over to them and sat down with a sigh; if they said anything to me, I didn't hear it.
I watched the clouds swirl and churn in the air and waited for something to happen—anything! Anything would be better than being there right now. I wished I was back home in my bed with my blankets wrapped up tight around me. At least there I could sleep or cry or... or... or something! I felt like screaming and laughing and howling in pain all at once.
How could I have been so stupid?
How could I have ever even thought that I'd had a chance?
How could I have messed everything up in any worse way?
My breath caught in my throat as I noticed Twilight making her way towards us. She looked... different. Her beautiful face was all twisted up like she'd just swallowed a lemon and her eyes never left the ground. I knew that look; that was the look of a deeply disturbed pony.
It didn't suit her at all.
I did that... I... I made her mad...
I blinked back a few tears and took a deep breath. C'mon, get a grip!
I wanted to say something to her when she caught up, but I wasn't sure what. Should I apologize? Should I pretend like nothing happened and talk to her about something else? Should I leave her alone? Would she even still want to be my friend anymore?
Every step she took was sluggish and limp as a wet noodle. If I didn't know better, I'd say she'd just got done running a marathon. I bit my lip as she drew close enough to speak to. “T-Twilight, I—”
Without so much as an acknowledgment of my existence, Twilight walked straight past me and sat down on the other side of Rarity—far away from me. She turned her head away and watched the street with closed eyes. I stared at her for a few moments, hoping against hope that she might turn around and give me a smile, or answer me, or tell me she hates me or... or something!
“Hey.” I winced as Applejack elbowed me in the wing I'd landed on. I was probably going to have to get it looked at by a doctor or something and get it splinted for a few days. She leaned in close and spoke softly enough that the others couldn't hear. “Did somethin' happen between you two?”
I wiped my eyes and sniffled. “Shut up!” I answered with a huff. “J-just butt out!”
“Rainbow...”
“Shut up!” I screamed, stomping my hooves on the concrete floor. It seemed quieter, suddenly. I soon noticed that it was because Pinkie Pie and Rarity had stopped talking and were staring at me.
Pinkie looked at me with more stupid pity in her eyes than I could handle. “Dashie?” she said, her voice taking on an eerily quiet tone. She took a wary half-step in my direction. “Are you—“
“I'm fine !” I cried. “Shut up! All of you just shut up !” I gave each of them a sharp glare before turning away.
I wiped my eyes again.
Stupid!
I wasn't even sure what I meant by that anymore. I was so angry and tired and hurt and I just wanted to... to... I don't know!
Stupid...
A few moments later, the air was filled with discussion and everypony had forgotten about my outburst. It was just as well, I hated the looks they were giving me—curious, judgmental looks that drove into me like daggers in my back. It was only made worse by the fact that Twilight still hadn't even looked up.
I snorted and forgot about them.
...Tried to forget about them.
I could see their reflections in the train windows. They chatted happily with one another like nothing had happened. Twilight hung off to the side, her bangs low over her face as she stared at the sidewalk. She was shaking and her tail was tucked firmly against her body. I knew that if I turned her around and looked at her eyes, they'd be damp.
I felt a sudden burst of renewed fury rush through me. That pony had, quite literally, thrown me out of her room when I kissed her and she wouldn't even look at me now! She didn't have any right to be sad! I gritted my teeth as I heard her door slam once more; my wing twinged with pain. This... this was all her fault! I growled and turned around to give her a piece of my mind, but before I'd even taken a step, a pony-drawn carriage bearing the royal seal rounded the street corner and came to a stop just before the curb.
The guards pulling the carriage were, like most of the Celestial Guard, white pegasi. Their faces, like always, were frozen and plastic. I don't think that even a meteor striking the ground five feet from their hooves would have made them so much as blink. I wondered how they did that; did they have to be specially trained? Did they just not feel any emotions at all? I certainly looked like they didn't; they stood tall in their harnesses, gazes locked firmly ahead.
I would have killed just to trade places with one of them.
My friends began boarding the cart, dragging their luggage behind them. Pinkie disappeared for a moment, only to pop out of one of Rarity's fancy suitcases when she least expected it—much to the dressmaker's frustration. Twilight slunk into the vehicle behind Fluttershy without so much as a glance anywhere but the steps. Applejack stopped a few steps short of the entrance and looked back at me. Frowning, she set her travel bag down. “Hey, you comin', RD?”
I realized I hadn't moved a hoof since the guards had arrived. Nodding, I made my way down to the carriage and tried to control how hard my hooves hit the concrete—stomping was so uncool. Applejack frowned as I climbed into the cart and sat in a seat by the window; the cart shook and everypony looked at me with concern etched on their faces.
Well, everypony that wasn't a cute, lavender genius.
Not that I cared anymore.
Stupid mare.
I opened my mouth to tell them all to mind their own darn business, but when Applejack took her seat, she crashed into my side, sending a torrent of pain down my wing. “Ow!” I shifted to the side so I could rub it with my hoof. “Watch it!” I spat, giving the farmer the fiercest look I could muster. “That's the second time !”
Applejack's ears slicked back. “Uh... sorry?” she said carefully. She eyed my wing. “What's wrong, Sugarcube?”
“Nothing!” I crossed my forelegs and stared out the window. “Just leave me alone!” A few moments of silence passed, during which I watched a couple colts playing ball in the park. One of them, a short, brown colt probably in fourth grade went after the ball—he was just shy of hitting it when I heard the whispering start.
In retrospect, I suppose that it's not surprising that my friends were beginning to talk behind my back—every word might as well have been a dagger, though. Fluttershy nodded with a frown as Rarity's hushed words flowed into her ear; I didn't know what she was saying, but I caught the words “childish” and “rude.” Heat washed into my face. I could feel my pulse in my ears.
“Shut up!” I screamed, stomping my hooves on the floor.
Fluttershy shrieked and hid herself behind her forehooves. Rarity scowled and narrowed her eyes. “Rainbow Dash,” she growled, “I've just about had it with your attitude of late! You've been nothing but unpleasant and unfriendly ever since you got home!”
My jaw dropped. “Me?” I cried. The chariot hit a bump and I was forced to scramble for hoofing. “Why, you little—“
“Rainbow.” An orange hoof settled on my shoulder. “Why don't you sit down before you get yourself hurt.”
I shrugged off Applejack's hoof and glared at Rarity. My eyes stung. “What right do you have to tell me how to feel?” I cracked. “What right do any of you have?”
“Dashie,” Pinkie Pie practically whispered. I swear that's the quietest I'd ever heard her speak. “We just wanted to—
“Shut up!” Suddenly, the chariot made a sharp turn and the ground disappeared from under my hooves. “Gah!” Instead of hard wooden wall or the bare seat, I crashed into something soft and comfy. I took a deep breath. I couldn't believe my luck. I opened my eyes to have my vision filled with lavender. A unicorn with tear-stained cheeks looked down at me with a distant expression on her face.
I gulped. I really couldn't believe my luck. My ears, somehow suddenly achieving sentience, instantly pinned themselves to the sides of my head. A torrent of emotions raced through my gut; I was gripped by guilt, attacked by anger, swollen with sadness and filled with fear. I opened my mouth to try and say something, but all that came out was: “Uh...”
Twilight's face contorted into some kind of unreadable expression. “Rainbow...” she mouthed, as if testing an alien word on her lips. She was looking straight at me, but her eyes were so glazed that I wondered if she even knew that I'd landed on top of her.
Say something! Anything!
“Hey, Twi,” I began hoping my voice wasn't as shaky as it felt. “I wanted to talk to—“ I was ripped from my words when a set of pink legs pulled me up and wrapped themselves around me.
“Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie screamed in horror. She pulled back for a moment and examined every aspect of my face. “Are you okay?”
My ear twitched. “Yeah, Pinks,” I snarled, “Thanks .”
Judging from her ear-to-ear grin, I didn't think that Pinkie realized how upset I was. “That's great!” she cheered, jumping back into her seat. “I was so worried when you started flying around the carriage without your wings!”
“Yeah, yeah...” I mumbled, sitting back down and taking another look at Twilight, who'd cast her gaze out the window once more. Following her lead, I ignored the looks that my friends were giving me and watched the town pass by.
The room stayed silent for a while. Outside, ponies were wandering around town, occasionally stealing glances at the darkened clouds. I hugged my book close to my chest and sighed. I wondered what Daring Do would do if she were in my place.
Probably pull Twi over and make her listen...
Briefly, I entertained the idea of making the guards stop the chariot so I could kick everyone out but Twilight, but I ultimately decided not to. Not only would my friends be upset with me—well, more upset than they already were—but there was no guarantee that I could even get Twilight to listen to me. Maybe I could get her to talk to me at the castle.
My heart seemed to settle at that and it became slightly easier to breathe. Yeah, I'd talk to Twilight when she calmed down. In the meantime, I simply watched the ponies of Canterlot go about their lives on the busy city streets. Merchants soled their wares. Foals laughed and played. We passed several ponies eating dandelion sandwiches at a restaurant. In the distance, a wall of pitch black clouds loomed for miles.
Canterlot Castle was just as ginormous as usual. Huge, spiky towers jutted from the roof, extending high into the sky and disappearing above the thunderheads. Each one of its dozen towers was similar yet distinct; some were sparkling ivory with beautifully grown vines clinging to them and others were stone—I even noticed a few cloud-crafted towers patched in for pegasi! A cool breeze rolled through, carrying with it the mouthwatering aromas from the castle kitchens. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't eaten anything all day. My stomach growled painfully and I couldn't help but wonder if Princess Celestia was going to offer us something to eat.
As the rest of us watched Fluttershy make her way out of the carriage, the castle doors opened up to reveal a tall gray stallion with a dark red mane. His armor was the same gleaming gold that most other Celestial Guards wore, but where the others all had bars on their collars, he wore a large bronze star. With a smile on his face, he waved to the guards pulling our carriage and started down the steps toward us. “You girls must be the ponies Princess Celestia sent for, yes?” he asked pleasantly, walking straight up to Twilight, who grimaced. “Twilight Sparkle? I'm Captain Iron Hoof.”
The unicorn shrank back for a moment. Her ears were still soldered to the sides of her skull. “Oh, uh, yes. Hi...” she mumbled. She cleared her throat and stood up a little straighter, but her frown stayed firmly locked in place. Looking around, she asked: “Why didn't she meet us out here herself?”
Iron Hoof's lips thinned and he gestured for us to follow him with a hoof. “The Princesses are... in talks...” he said as he led us up the stairs. “I'm sure she'll explain when you see her, ma'am.”
“Talks?” Applejack snorted, “I thought this was important stuff, Twilight! Big Mac and Apple Bloom can't handle the farm on their own for long, even with Spike helping them out.”
The Captain's posture seemed to falter for a split second. “I assure you that your presence wasn't requested whimsically,” he said quickly. His ears dropped as he looked around stairwell. “There's been trouble with the Confederation of Dragon Tribes,” he whispered, “I don't know the exact details, but it's bad.”
Fluttershy's eyes inflated like balloons and she nearly stumbled backwards down the stairs. “Oh my,” she whispered frantically, hiding behind her mane. “D-d-dragons?” She looked ready to bolt back to the train—summons or no summons.
Rarity's face fell. “I'm sure it's nothing, Darling,” she said, wrapping her foreleg around the yellow pony's neck. “How bad could it be?” she asked as Iron Hoof opened the castle door. A fierce roar echoed down the halls of the castle, causing half the guards in the entryway to freeze instantly, their hackles raised.
Iron Hoof gulped. “Very .”
“Then what are we waiting for?” I asked, pushing my way through the doors. I set a course for the source of the roar, but before I made it more than a few steps, a gray hoof stopped me.
“Not yet,” the Captain said. “The Princesses don't want anything potentially counter-productive disturbing their... negotiations.” Another cacophonous dragon roar filled the halls; it was so loud, I could feel the vibrations in my bones.
“Right...” I said, shifting my weight to my back legs. The dragon's earth-quaking howl still rang in my ears and I briefly wondered if Fluttershy might have had the right idea. “Negotiations...”
“Quite.” Iron Hoof took a deep breath and shook his head slowly, mumbling something incoherent to himself. “I'm sure our scaly guest will pause his ranting for dinner, though,” he said after a minute. “In the mean time, I'll show you to your rooms.”
“Ooh!” Pinkie Pie squealed, immediately bouncing in tow. “We get rooms ?”
“The Princesses wished for you to have appropriate accommodations,” Iron Hoof answered without looking back. He steered us down a brightly lit hallway and the guards that filled it immediately stepped to the side and saluted. “While she only called for Miss Sparkle, I had a felling that the rest of you girls might show up, so I arranged for our most sumptuous guest rooms to be prepared for your arrival.”
I elbowed Applejack. “What's 'sumptuous' mean?” I whispered.
She looked at me and shrugged.
“Um, how long does Princess Celestia think we'll be staying?” Fluttershy asked, carefully avoiding the piercing gazes of the armored ponies around her. “I-I don't think I can stay very long; my animals need my help!”
Iron Hoof grimaced. “Well, honestly, Princess Celestia did say that your presence wouldn't be necessary for the entire duration,” he said. “Actually, Twilight Sparkle is the only pony that could help her, but that all friends of hers would be welcomed nonetheless.”
Twilight's head cocked to the side. “Really?” she asked. “What does she think I can do?”
“I don't know,” the Captain groused. “I just follow orders and relay information.”
We turned a corner and entered another hallway decorated with expensive paintings and marble statues of famous ponies. A large, ornate painting hung off one wall depicted six very famous ponies all posing in front of the Equestrian flag. I easily picked out Commander Hurricane from them. I smiled; the last Commander of the Pegasi had been as tough as nails—he'd once fought off a full grown dragon with only his hooves! Next to Spitfire, Commander Hurricane had been my role model for years. I'd grown up imagining I was his wing-pony, battling armies of griffons and manticores. Kinda hard to believe a pony that awesome had settled down with little old Clover the Clever. It's funny—even then, in the painting, it seemed his eyes were drifting over to the unicorn clothed in rags. My heart lurched as I took in her all-too-familiar warm smile; maybe I'd followed in the commander's hoofsteps a little too well...
I caught my gaze drifting over the figure of my super-smart, incredibly powerful unicorn and bit back a sob. Stop. I shook my head. Just... just stop. You're a grown mare, Dash; you can talk to her later.
“Hey,” Applejack bumped my leg. I guess she'd caught me staring. “Seriously, girl, what happened between you two?”
I didn't look her in the eyes; instead, I continued down the hallway with the others. “Nothin', A.J. Just.... stuff...”
There was a long pause, filled only with the idle chatter of Iron Hoof's cheerful explanations of each spectacular artifact we passed. Then, right as I was beginning to think that Applejack might have dropped the subject, she said: “You wanna talk about it?” Her words were soft, like she was afraid I might run away if she was too loud or something. “I know you said you didn't on the train, but you were all worked up at the time...”
I sighed and tried not to let her pity put me back in that horrible place I'd been in earlier; I didn't know if I'd be able to get out of there again. “No,” I said after a moment. “Look, I appreciate your concern, but I can handle myself, okay?”
“Well, if you're not gonna talk to me , then talk to her, okay?”
I nodded. “I will. That was the plan, anyway.”
“Alright,” Applejack said uneasily, biting her lip. “Just promise me you wont do anything crazy, okay? This ain't like you—I'm worried.”
“I'll be fine.”
She didn't look convinced, but before she could say anything else, we arrived at the end of the hall and Iron Hoof stopped us. “Ah! Here we are: the Stone Tower!” Iron Hoof said, happily pointing at a stone door with an intricate gold design on it. I noticed that there weren't any chandeliers or electrical lights in the room, only wall-mounted torches and windows that showed the rolling green hills and valleys below. “This tower was specifically designed with all the comforts of Earth Ponies in mind,” the Captain said, smiling. “Every room is on the ground floor and made of granite.”
“Wouldn't that make it a hall?” Pinkie Pie asked, bouncing into the large stallion's face. Her brow crumpled in thought as she began tapping a hoof on her chin. “Or a wing? Maybe a department?”
Iron Hoof's smile faltered for a moment as he backpedaled to reclaim his personal space. “Uh, perhaps?”
Pinkie seemed to be satisfied with this answer and unceremoniously charged through the doors with a shriek of joy. Iron Hoof's eyes shot wide as she bolted into a random room. After a moment, she called out: “Hey guys! I've got a roommate !”
“I say!” the voice of an old stallion echoed through the chamber. “What is the meaning of this? Let me go!”
Iron Hoof's ears drifted downwards and he looked at us with pleading eyes. “That would be Mr. Axle Grease,” he said in a choked panic. “He crafted the world's first flight-chariot nearly a hundred years ago!”
“Relax,” Applejack laughed, stepping through the tower's entryway, “I'll take care of her; can I assume our room in the one with our names on the door?”
The Captain nodded and voiced his thanks before the door closed. “Oh, don't worry about Pinkie Pie, Darling,” Rarity chuckled at his worried face. “She may be excitable, but she'd never hurt so much as a fly!”
“Right.” He took a deep breath before passing the doorway and leading us deeper into the castle. “Let's get a move on then, shall we?”
“Wait,” Twilight said suddenly. She gave him a confused look. “Aren't we all staying together?”
Iron Hoof shook his head. “Her majesty wished for you all to be as comfortable as possible, and stone beds are hardly the best things for unicorns to sleep on—especially unicorns with status like yours!”
“Oh. Okay...” Her whole body seemed to sag now; her tail hung limply behind her; her hooves nearly dragged across the floor as she walked; head drooped so close to the floor that she could have been sniffing it—and all the while, she walked alone and talked to no one.
I saw my chance and I refused to let it slip by. I hurried to catch up, but Rarity stepped in next to Twilight before I could and nudged her, whispering something I couldn't quite make out. My eye twitched and I fought the urge to growl in frustration. I glared at a bust of Celestia as we walked by it. Really? I wanted to shout. What did I ever do to you?
I lagged behind as Iron Hoof took us through another maze of hallways. His voice droned on in the background, a chorus of unintelligible murmurs joined the cacophony of the guards and high-horses chattering in the halls. Rarity's lips never stopped moving while she walked. Whatever she was saying appeared to be helping Twilight, though, because as she turned her head, I saw the beginnings of a smile on her face.
Despite the situation, it was nice to see.
It didn't take long to reach the unicorn suites and I couldn't help but gasp—solid gold. There was solid gold everywhere. Every visible surface looked to be carved from the most expensive materials that could stand to be used. Silver knobs, crystal windows, glittering gemstones—and that was just the front door ! Who knew what was inside; from the looks of it, I bet that even the light bulbs in there were made of diamonds!
“Impressive, huh?” Iron Hoof asked, “This is the White Gold Tower. It's the second tallest tower in Canterlot—and the most expensive to upkeep. Plush furniture, jewel-encrusted designs—heck, there's a rumor that even the toilet paper in there's laced with strands of golden thread!” He laughed when he saw me cringe. “I don't know how true that is,” he said, shrugging, “but knowing that room, I wouldn't doubt it.”
“Uh... sounds great?” I said slowly, trying not to imagine the pain it might cause somepony to wipe down there with strands of metal. Some ponies just love to throw their money around, I guess.
Rarity charged at the doors with crazed zeal. She carefully examined the jewels inside, doing that weird—and, honestly, kinda creepy—laugh she does when she's about to go crazy. “It's beautiful !” she exclaimed. I swear, if she was any happier, she'd be licking the glimmer right off of the rubies. “I simply cannot wait to see more!” She wrapped a foreleg around Twilight's neck and dragged her inside, ignoring her victim's surprised yelp. Silence followed.
“Well then,” the Captain said, blinking. “She was certainly... excited.”
“Yeah, that's Rarity for you,” I said, brushing my mane out of my eyes. “She gets pretty hyped up over stuff like this.”
“So I see. Shall we move on?”
I shrugged. I obviously wasn't going to be able to get anywhere near Twilight while Rarity dragged her around on tour of Fancy HQ. “Lead the way.”
I think Iron Hoof picked up on the fact that nopony was listening to his ramblings, because he led Fluttershy and I in nearly complete silence. A cold chill snaked its way down my spine as I realized that, once he left, I'd be alone with Fluttershy for the first time since that incident on the train. I gulped. Don't get me wrong, I knew I needed to apologize, it's just that... well... apologies are hard—especially when it's to somepony like Flutters, who you made cry. I looked over to the pony in question, who was busy staring at the floor while she walked, eyeballing it like it was the most interesting walkable surface in the world. I hoped she wasn't still sore over what happened.
The Captain led us down another series of hallways—I wondered how he kept them all straight, I mean, Canterlot Castle is huge! We climbed a few sets of spiral staircases and passed a huge steel door marked “Armory” before the walls began to turn into clouds. “I apologize for the state of your quarters,” he said, looking around at the darkened cumulus. “A storm's been blowing in from the north side of the Everfree; I heard that the weather teams are having a heck of a time just stopping it from turning into a hurricane!”
I shrugged. “White or gray, a cloud's a cloud.”
Iron Hoof nodded and stopped. “Regrettably, this is where I must leave you behind,” he said, motioning to the floor, which transitioned to cloud just a few steps ahead. “Your room is at the top. I'll send somepony up when dinner's ready.”
“Okay.” I looked up the long set of stairs. The black maw shifted and swirled like a manticore's throat. So, Twilight got golden toilet paper and I got a soggy floor, huh? It briefly crossed my mind that I probably could have been sleeping in a mansion by now if I'd taken Spitfire's offer. I shook my head and turned back to the cheerful Captain. “Thanks.”
Iron Hoof bid us good day and disappeared down the stairs. After he was gone, I noticed how quiet everything was—that stallion's words had been filling a gap I hadn't even noticed. Beside me, Fluttershy was still staring at the floor. I bit my lip and shifted my weight. Something broke the silence, something soft but not unfamiliar.
“What was that?” I asked.
A lump formed in my throat as she pawed at the ground. “I'm sorry...” she whispered, her voice nearly overshadowed by the low rumbling of the walls. “I didn't mean to upset you earlier. I just... You looked so... I thought I could help...”
I sighed and looked away. “Aw, Shy...” I tried not to groan, but I guess I didn't try hard enough. “C'mon... It-it's not your fault! Don't be sorry; I was the one who was a jerk.”
“Okay...”
I looked around. Nopony could be seen, but I wasn't sure how far off Iron Hoof was. Fluttershy played with the ends of her mane. I needed to end this—as sorry as I was for blowing up at her, I knew that the longer this went on, the more she'd push me about earlier and the more likely it was that somepony would hear us. “Look, Shy, can we, uh, talk about this later?”
Instead of speaking, she just nodded her head a little bit.
“Good!” I said. I coughed to clear out my throat, but the lump held tight. I felt like I'd swallowed a lemon that just didn't wanna go down. “Uh, I mean okay! C'mon!”
Fluttershy fell in line behind me and we began climbing the stairs again. Nobody talked; the walls rumbled softly and occasionally lit up with small bursts of lightning, but those were the only sounds we heard. The path ended at a nondescript door marked only with a nameplate. I opened the door and peered inside, where nothing but darkened clouds and a couple of raised masses awaited.
I stepped inside and poked one of the giant globs of cloud that was obviously meant to be a bed. The soft substance gave way to my hoof with little resistance and slowly flowed back into place when I took it off. Frowning, I examined the rest of the empty room. “Not even a window...” I grumbled at the void. “It feels so... empty .” Thunder rolled from overhead, adding an ominous tone to the lonely room. A bolt of lightning ripped through the ceiling and shot out the door, missing a panicked Fluttershy's ear by mere inches. She jumped higher than I'd ever seen her fly, shrieking in absolute terror as her wings locked up and she fell to the floor, shielding her head with her hooves. Eyes wide as saucers, the buttercup pegasus stammered an apology before saying something about sleeping on the ground tonight and tearing down the stairs like Pinkie Pie after an ice cream carriage.
Whatever; at least that meant she wasn't gonna go around sticking her nose in my business anymore.
I tossed my book onto my rumbling thunderhead of a bed and breathed out a sigh. Daring Do looked at me with a frown on her face that was perfectly framed by her slicked back ears and mud soaked wedding gown. “Looks like it's just you and me tonight,” I said, flopping on the bed and staring at the ceiling.
I wondered when a good time to talk to Twilight would be. Without any way to keep track of the time, it would be impossible to guess when we'd be called down to dinner, and I really wanted to get to her before then. I knew that enough time had to pass that Rarity would be settled in enough to go bug some famous fashion designers or flirt with a guard or something. I propped my head up with my forelegs and resigned to giving her fifteen minutes.
With that taken care of, I reached for Daring Do and the Quest for Love and opened it back up, searching for my bookmark. I never thought I'd be so hooked on such a silly story about romance and other girly gunk, but I just couldn't help but root for Daring; I really hoped that she'd tell Rosetta about her feelings soon, so that they could be happy together.
Daring Do squinted at the menu for a long while and fought the urge to growl in frustration. Her vain attempts to decipher the needlessly overcomplicated names of the dishes served only to create a throbbing pain in her head. The silence that filled the dining hall didn't seem to help, either. Stallions in three-piece suits sat across ornate crystal tables, facing beautiful mares dressed in flowing regal gowns. Daring gulped and looked down at her own dirtied explorer vest—and the sandy-yellow wings that poked out of it; not for the first time in her life did she feel horribly out of place.
Closing her eyes, Daring tried to focus her thoughts on having a fun evening. “It's for her,” she whispered under her breath. She opened her eyes and watched the unicorn's scroll across the laminated paper that confounded her so. Feeling a painful lump, Daring cleared her throat and clicked her hooves on the table. She eyed the silverware, taking in the utencils' bright shine. Her eyes wandered across the hall to the restroom sign and followed a waiter down an aisle to a food-covered table.
“Excuse me, Madame, but are you ready to place your order?”
Daring jumped at the unexpected intrusion of a heavily accented newcomer. A wiry stallion in a tuxedo stood before her; next to him floated a pencil and a pad of paper. Naturally, the first thing Daring's eyes anchored to was his expertly twisted, pencil-thin, mustache, and she couldn't think of anything but how silly he looked as it bounced about while he talked.
“Huh?” she said stupidly. Resisting the urge to slap herself, the pegasus shook her head with fervor. “Uh, y-yeah.” Once more, Daring stared at the menu; Prench characters floated off the paper and swirled around her head, tickling her ears with sounds unheard. “Uh... I'll just get a dandellion Sandwich...” she said, giving up.
The waiter snorted, his face contorting into a look of unabashed resentment a moment before exploding into laughter. “This is a proper restaurant,” he said with a tone usually meant for young foals. “We do not serve something so... insulting to our patrons.”
Daring's ears slicked back instantly. “Uh, right...” she said, smiling sheepishly. Rosetta cocked an eyebrow at her, but Daring continued regardless, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof. “I was just kidding.” In the corner of her eye, she watched as a staunch server placed a heaping plate of vegetables before his charge; atop the greens, cheddar cheese melted happily, dripping down the sides and pooling at the bottom of the dish. “I'll have what he's having!” she said quickly, slapping her menu shut and all but throwing it at the waiter.
“Er... yes, Madame,” the stallion said slowly. After a moment of furious scribbling on his pad, the waiter bid them adieu and headed off toward the kitchen, mumbling something about “barbaric thunder-heads.” The words dug into Daring's heart, but she tried to ignore them and focus on Rosetta—who appeared to have not heard them.
Once the waiter was out of earshot, Rosetta began chuckling quietly into her hooves. “You have no idea what you ordered, do you?” she asked between giggles.
Daring relaxed a little as her friend's laughter washed over her. Smiling, she shrugged at her fellow professor. “Not a clue,” she conceded, staring straight into Rosetta's amethyst eyes. She felt a silly grin stretch across her face. Then, before she could stop herself, she blurted: “But I don't care, because any meal with you is a good meal.”
Gasping in fear, Daring immediately covered her mouth. Stupid! she berated herself. Were she not in public, she probably would've slapped herself for doing something so carelessly asinine. That was so stupid!
For a second, Rosetta's features seemed to darken. Her smile morphed into a deep, grimace and her nostrils flared. Then, just as quickly, it was gone—replaced by a wide, toothy grin and leaving Daring Do wondering if she'd just imagined the whole thing.
“I enjoy eating with you too, Darey,” she said. Her voice cracked, but Daring thought it only added to the mare's cuteness. They locked eyes and shared a look of mutual happiness.
Daring smiled as her heart soared. Oh, yeah, she thought to herself, I've got this in the bag!
I couldn't help but grin as I closed the book. Hugging it close to my chest, I fell back onto my bed and imagined Daring Do bravely announcing her feelings to Rosetta. Sure, the bookish unicorn might be a little apprehensive at first, but she'd give Daring a chance and they'd totally fall in love! I squeezed the book tighter. “Awesome!” I said, my voice escaping in a short, way to emotional, squeal.
I jumped to my hooves and surveyed the room carefully. Racing across the floor, I tore the door open and revealed the empty hallway. “Phew,” I said, leaning against the door; it shut with a click. “That was a close one...” I wiped a few beads of sweat off my forehead. I'd really dodged a bullet, there. What if Fluttershy hadn't decided to spend the night downstairs? “She'd never look at me the same again, that's what.”
Taking once last deep, calming breath, I tossed Daring Do and the Quest for Love back onto my bed. I figured more than enough time had passed that I could go talk to Twilight while Rarity did her girly Rarity thing. I ran a hoof through my mane—I'd need to look my awesomest if I wanted to impress Twilight—and, satisfied, I opened the door to start the short walk back down to the unicorn suites.
I descended the stairs without any problems and found myself in a hall decorated with canvas paintings and deadly weapons. An engraved plaque on the nearby iron doorway reminded me that this was the outside of the castle armory. I took a left down the hall and continued passed several bickering guards. One of them grumbled something about a bar in southern Canterlot and the others grunted their agreements.
A few empty halls later, I found myself staring at the familiar giant golden gate that my horned friends had just traveled through. After searching for a moment, I located the knob and opened twisted it. The corridor beyond was astounding. Red velvet decorated the ceiling and walls, the soft carpeting stretched out before me like a pitch black racetrack. Statues and memorabilia of famous unicorns either stood proudly by the doors or hung from the walls.
“Wow...” I whispered to myself. Glittering diamonds lit the way as I walked through the hall. If Applejack was here, I was sure she'd be whistling at how expensive everything looked. An pegasus in a servant's uniform was scrunched down on the floor, furiously scrubbing something on the carpet, but he was the only other pony I came across.
It didn't take long for me to find Twilight's door. A jewel-encrusted affair, the golden door was interrupted only by a crystal nameplate that held the names of the room's occupants. My eyes seemed to stick to Twilight's name. I felt my stomach twist into a knot. What if she didn't want to talk? What if she told me to go away? I gulped hard; what if she told me she hated me?
I shook my head and took a deep breath. What she said didn't matter, I just wanted her to say something to me. I just needed to know that she wasn't gonna keep giving me the silent treatment for forever. She could tell me she hated me, that she never wanted to see me again, I just needed to hear her voice. I needed... I needed something —I wasn't sure what, exactly, but I needed something.
With that thought in mind, I reached a hoof out and set it on the knob. I opened the door and was immediately assaulted by the pungent smell of fancy perfume. The sour, choking scent swirled its way through my nostrils and burned my throat like a strong alcohol. “Stupid rich ponies...” I grumbled softly, resisting the urge to gag before opening the door completely. I gasped; I felt like I was walking straight into a picture from a hotel magazine. “Woah...:
The room looked fit enough for a princess to sleep in. Everything gleamed in the light of Celestia's sun, which was beautifully framed by the crimson silk curtains that hung over the panoramic window by the balcony; it seemed that the Canterlot weather team had managed to at least keep the sunset clear of the growling thunderheads. The pinks and reds produced as the world dimmed shone on the photos and portraits that covered the walls, tinting the colors within and casting shadows on the meticulously cleaned carpeting. Oak chairs with cushions at least a foot thick stood gleaming at beautifully stained desks upon which sat stacks of books taller than me. In the corner, sitting on an ornate frame carved with the faces of the Solar Sisters, was the biggest and fluffiest mattress I'd ever laid eyes in. Ordinarily, I'd have to fight to keep myself from jumping on a bed that sweet, but I didn't have to try very hard today—somepony was already in it.
She lay with her back to the wall, her mane a tangled mess. Rays of sunlight beamed on her mane, casting it in a beautiful glow. She was nearly motionless, like a sleeping angel—only the slight twitching of her tail or the occasional sniffle gave hint to her continued subsistence.
Dang, listen to me; I really have been reading too much.
A cursory glance at the rest of the room confirmed we were alone. I took a few more steps inside and closed the door. The lock clicked and I breathed a sigh of relief—the last thing I wanted was Rarity coming in and chewing me out again or something. I set my eyes back on the figure of the bedded pony and cleared my throat.
“Twi?”
Silence answered. I walked closer to the bed and sat down.
“Twilight?”
Still nothing. Not even a twitch of an ear. I felt my heart sink deep into the pit of my stomach and I wondered if I'd come down here for nothing.
“Twilight, c'mon!” My voice cracked. “This isn't fair!”
I stomped on the floor when she still didn't answer. I landed off balance and swung my wings out to catch myself, but a tearing pain ripped through my muscles and I fell anyway. My eyes stung as I grabbed a hold of the nightstand and climbed back up to my hooves. I looked back over at Twilight—she hadn't even moved. An incredible heat grew in my cheeks; I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears, like I was repeatedly being struck by a hammer. Again, I heard the slam of the compartment door—felt the pain of landing on my head after getting thrown.
“I tell you I love you and this is what I get?!”
Growling, I tightened my grip on the little wooden table and toppled it over, sending an expensive-looking porcelain lamp crashing to the floor. The room darkened considerably as it hit the ground and exploded into a million glass shards.
“Say something!” I screamed, shaking her bed.
She still didn't move.
Growling, I leaped onto the bed and grabbed her shoulder; she didn't resist when I turned her over and latched onto her face with shaking hooves. “Dang it, Twilight!” I choked, holding her head still. “Look at me!”
I saw the tears on her cheeks; I honestly don't remember if they were hers or mine. I didn't really care either way anymore. She sniffled and my legs collapsed under me. I fell like a sack of potatoes. My face collided with soft fur and I burrowed as deep as I could into its warm embrace, fighting the sobs that were forming at the back of my throat. “Twilight...” I moaned. My chest ached—it couldn't have hurt worse if Big Mac himself had decided to buck me across Sweet Apple Acres. “Please...” I froze when a hoof gently settled on my back. It wasn't words—it wasn't eye contact or even a hug. There was no pressure behind it; she wasn't patting me or holding me close. It was just a hoof.
But it was something.
I looked up at a blurry world of lavender, fighting the rising sense of hope in my gut. My lungs had somehow forgotten how to breathe properly; I swallowed and tried to fill them without gasping. The hoof raised and settled itself on my cheek before wiping the tears from of my eye.
“Twi...” I said—or tried to, anyway; the air that should have carried my words floated out of my mouth like a stagnant river, slow and unmoving.
Twilight's eyes closed for a moment, then opened slowly. “Rainbow...” she whispered. Quick as a cannonball, her forelegs wrapped around my shoulders and squeezed. My vision filled with indigo hair as she nuzzled into my shoulder. “I'm so sorry!”
I don't know how long we laid like that, crying into each other's coats, but it was a while. I managed to worm my hooves around her back so I could hold her in my forelegs like she was me and we whimpered together into the dimming light of the bedroom. I clung to Twilight like a filly would a favorite stuffed animal—I don't know how better to describe it. Holding her close to me, squeezing her tightly, just made me feel so much better . I knew it was silly, but it helped, so I didn't question it.
Eventually, the crying stopped and Twilight eased her grip on me. I sat up on the bed and she followed suit. Her shoulders sagged a bit and her ears were still slicked back—and I imagined I fared no better—but she looked me right in the eyes. “I'm sorry,” she said again, wiping her nose with a hoof. “I just... You surprised me, Rainbow. I... I panicked. I'm sorry...”
I nodded slowly, looking down at the covers of the bed; star patterns decorated the material, giving the dark cloth an eye-catching design. “I'm sorry too.” I tried to speak clearly, but the words came out barely louder than a whisper. “I got carried away. I thought that... that you might...” I sighed and mushed a star under my hoof. “Bah... Nevermind...”
I heard the air escape from Twilight's lungs. “I just...” she tried, but stopped mid sentence. “I wasn't expecting you to say that , you know?” she finished lamely. I looked up to see pink spots on her cheeks. “Or for you to... to... do what you did.”
“Yeah...” I rubbed the back of my neck. “So... I guess you don't feel the same, do you?” I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice, but I still sounded like I was attending a funeral.
Twilight shifted on the bed, her hooves tapped on the covers. “Rainbow, I... I don't know...” she said softly. She stared at the bed while she talked. “I just... This was so unexpected and... and I need some time, okay?”
I nodded. Well, I guess it's not an outright 'no...' I thought. All the same, it wasn't exactly a 'yes,' either. Still, I gave an honest attempt at a smile, even though my stomach continued to squirm. “Sure, Twi,” I said, sitting up a little straighter. “Take all the time you need.”
Twilight smiled at that, her beautiful face framed by her gorgeous amethyst eyes and adorable muzzle. It wasn't The Look, but it was something. She opened her mouth to speak, but a pounding on the door interrupted whatever she was going to say. The sound of a key sliding into a lock echoed around the room and, after a moment of jangling, the door opened.
“Twilight!” A white unicorn with an expertly styled purple mane ducked her head inside and I fought the urge to groan. “The Captain says—“ Her eyes widened. “Oh!” she said, surprised. “I am truly sorry; I didn't mean to interrupt anything!”
My wings flared instinctively and I cringed for a moment before I managed to force them back down. The pain from my sprain was the only thing that stopped me from opening my mouth and telling that mare just how sorry she was going to be for interrupting.
“It's fine, Rarity,” Twilight said quickly, almost jumping as she got off the bed. She held no reservations in crossing the room and taking a firm hold on the door. “You said something about Captain Iron Hoof?”
Rarity frowned. “Yes,” she answered. “Dinner's ready in the banquet hall... What were—”
“Dinner sounds fantastic!” Twilight interjected, grabbing the dressmaker and practically shoving her out the door. “We should get going! Don't want to keep the princesses waiting, do we?” Once Rarity was out the door, she turned to look at me; a distant kind of smile sat upon her face. “I promise, we'll talk about this more when we get back home, okay?”
I nodded. “Mm-hmm.”
“Okay.” And with that, Twilight walked out the door.
I sighed and stepped off the bed, careful not to upset my wing. I wasn't sure what exactly was going through Twilight's head, but I hoped it was something good. She's gonna think about it... I thought, casting my gaze out the window for a moment. A weatherpony zoomed across the sky, bucking a cloud into nothingness and revealing another piece of the sunset. I couldn't help but let a small smile force its way onto my face. After Twilight threw me out of her compartment, I'd thought I was done for; now, I had something to hope for and things were finally looking up.
I paid no attention to the soft rolls of distant thunder as I closed the door behind me and hurried down the hall to find dinner.
The streets were bathed in orange light. Pinks and reds bounced off Rosetta's coat and cast her in a beautiful glow; Daring nearly forgot to breathe as she took in the sight. They walked through the park, chatting idly about nothing of particular interest. Sighing in contentment, Daring followed Rosetta's lead and allowed the indigo mare's words to wrap around her like a warm embrace.
They circled around a shimmering pond filled with darting fish. A squirrel crossed their path in an instant, his cheeks puffed out with nuts as he dove into a nearby bush. After a short while, they settled on a bench overlooking the water and bathed in the dying beams of the setting sun. The light reflected off the water beautifully, creating a glittering body of orangey-yellow water that enraptured them both.
“It's beautiful, isn't it?” Rosetta asked, staring off into the distance.
Daring took in the unicorn's peaceful smile, highlighted by the colors around them. “Yeah...” she sighed. “It is...” She scooted a little closer to her friend and watched the sky with her. Taking a deep breath, she leaned back and settled into her seat. She didn't say much else, content to relax and enjoy the romantic setting with the pony she'd grown to care so very much for. Minor bumbling aside, dinner had gone rather well and Daring was happy to see that their walk was only adding to the wonderful air that had surrounded them all night. Her lips curved up; she couldn't have picked a more perfect night to come clean. They'd remember this night for the rest of their lives—she was sure of it.
“How do you think she does it?”
Daring blinked. “Huh?” she said stupidly, shaking her head and looking at Rosetta. “Who?”
“Princess Celestia,” the historian answered, gazing up in wonder. The twinkle of the dying sun shone in her eyes. “How do you think she controls the sun?”
“Oh...” Daring shrugged and turned her head to the sun once more. “I don't know,” she answered. “You'd probably know more than I do—didn't the unicorns use magic to bring forth night and day during the Pre-Equestrian Era?”
A soft smirk grew on Rosetta's face. “Yeah, but that magic must have been lost to time,” she said. “Princess Celestia is the only pony I know of that can do it.”
“Maybe nopony else powerful enough to do it,” Daring suggested. She shifted her weight to a more comfortable position on the bench, rubbing shoulders with her companion as she did so. “Maybe only royalty ever knew how.”
Rosetta closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly, she stretched back in her seat and redirected her gaze back to the light. “You might be on to something there, Darey,” she said.
“Course I am,” the adventurer said, grinning. She raised a hoof and lightly bopped Rosetta on the nose, eliciting a giggle from her. “Aren't I always?”
Rosetta chuckled lightly, and poked Daring in the shoulder. “Careful there, Darey,” she warned, “You usually only get yourself into trouble when you're out chasing after treasure.”
Daring shrugged, but her mouth still showed off her increasingly cocky grin. “I may get myself into trouble,” she countered with a laugh, “But I always come out on top, don't I?”
“Point taken,” the unicorn agreed, shaking her head. “You really do have the luck of the Ancients, don't you?”
Daring watched as the violet locks of Rosetta's beautiful mane flowed like water in the breeze. “Celestia, I hope so...” she whispered.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the cheerful cawing of passing crows and the soft splashes of water generated by hungry fish. The sun slowly drifted further and further towards the horizon, until only the faintest of its rays could be seen in the distance. Daring smiled. Watching the sun set was something of a regular occurrence between the two studious mares, but she would've liked to think that there might have been something extra special about this one.
As the first of the night's stars began twinkling above, the air began taking on a colder quality and Daring felt her friend's limbs begin to shake. Taking a deep breath, she boldly wrapped a wing around Rosetta's shivering body. At first—when Rosetta's entire form turned stiff as a board—Daring was afraid she'd gone too far. Her heart stopped and her blood ran cold. Dinner and a walk were one thing, but this? They'd never done this before.
Daring bit her lip. She started to pull her wing back and apologize when she felt Rosetta's muscles relax into her. A weight settled on Daring's shoulder as the unicorn rested her head on her and sighed contentedly.
“Thanks, Darey.”
An intense heat crawled up Daring's neck and settled in her cheeks.“Don't mention it.” Hesitantly, she rested her head against Rosetta's and the gentle smell of lilacs caressed her nostrils.
Sitting with her wing wrapped around Rosetta and under the light of the setting sun, Daring had never felt more at peace with herself. She nuzzled her friend and held her as close as possible, packing as much affection as she could into the simple otherwise gesture. When she was done, she pulled back a little and looked Rosetta in the eyes. The indigo mare returned her gaze with a smile.
“Hey, Rosie...” Daring began, taking one of the unicorn's hooves into her grasp. “I've got something I need to say.”
Rosetta's smile faltered as she bit her lip. “Darey...”
“Hang on, just let me finish,” Daring interrupted. “I've been wanting to say this for a long time.”
“Darey, don't...”
“Rosie, we're best friends, right?”
The wind shifted and gently brushed the unicorn's mane out of her face. Shining amethyst eyes revealed themselves to the world. “Of course we are,” Rosetta cracked. “But, Darey...”
“Shh,” Daring whispered, pulling her friend closer. Her own eyes were welling up with emotion now. Holding Rosetta tight against her body, she gently stroked the long strands of deep purple hair the flowed down the shivering mare's back. “Rosie, I just want you to know that I love you.” She found her friend's cheek and nuzzled it with fervor, wetting her face further. “I have for a long time...”
A choked sob echoed from Daring's shoulder. “Oh, Darey...”
Daring's lip curled up. Carefully, she tilted Rosetta's head back and looked her in the eyes. She could have said anything, but she didn't feel any need to. Slowly, the pegasus brought her face closer to her friend's and closed her eyes. She could hear every one of Rosetta's ragged, jerking breaths as she gently let their lips meet.
Daring Do had experienced many feelings during her adventures—the thrill of saving the day, the sting of betrayal, the excitement of running from a temple full of dangerous traps—but never had she felt anything quite like the satisfaction of finally kissing the most important pony in her life. It was like receiving her diploma again—years of work culminating in a short moment of sheer unparalleled joy. Releasing a soft moan, she tightened her grip on Rosetta and tried with every fiber of her being to convey just how much she felt for the professor. Rosetta growled hungrily, pressing her lips even harder into Daring's than the adventurer had ever intended; Daring's heart skipped a beat.
They held the kiss for a few seconds before Daring noticed that Rosetta was pulling away. Curious, she opened her eyes and took in the look of abject horror plastered on the unicorn's face. Daring frowned and tried to scoot closer to her friend, but Rosetta leaped off the bench with tears in her eyes and turned away from her.
“No!” she cried, her head hanging low. “No! This wasn't supposed to happen!”
Daring stepped off the bench and carefully sidled up to Rosetta, careful not to disturb the clearly distraught mare. “Rosie?” She reached out a hoof and set it on the mare's shoulder, but pulled it back immediately when she felt Rosetta's entire body spasm at her touch. “Rosie? What's wrong?”
“Everything!” she whispered, turning back to her friend. “I... W-we can't...” More tears spilled down her cheeks as her head fell. “Oh, Darey...”
After a moment of contemplation, Daring decided it would be safe enough to sit down next to Rosetta. She reached out and wrapped the unicorn up in her embrace once more, holding her tightly against her chest. “There, there...” she whispered softly, rubbing the mare's back with her hoof. “It's okay, I'm here.”
Rosetta's choked sobs only increased in intensity. “No, Darey...” she cracked. “Stop.” Slowly, she pulled away from the sandy-colored forelegs of her friend. “I can't...”
Daring's smile faded. She watched as Rosetta wiped her eyes, the tears matting the fur on her leg and staining it almost black. “You can't what?” she asked, ears dropping.
Despite just wiping them clear, Rosetta's eyes filled with fresh tears. “It won't work...” she whispered breathlessly. Daring swore that if she were to speak any softer, the breeze would sweep through and steal the unicorn's words. “I can't love a—I can't love you, Darey... It won't work.”
A bitter taste filled Daring's mouth as she processed what she'd heard. Her eyes stung as she watched Rosetta for any sign of dishonesty—any clue that this might have been some sort of sick joke, but she found none. How could this have happened? She'd been so certain... After all these years, this was the way things were going to be?
“Why not?”
Rosetta's gaze rose from the ground. She regarded Daring with a look of fierce regret. It was then that the adventurer realized that she wasn't the one getting glared at. Daring's heart sank as she followed the unicorn's gaze and set her eyes upon Rosetta's target.
Daring's wings ruffled in the darkness, extended high and wide, instinctively betraying every one of the pegasus's emotions. The once only threatening tears Daring had worked so hard to keep bottled up began flowing down her cheeks as she slowly turned her attention back to Rosetta.
“It's these, isn't it?” she choked, flapping her feathered appendages in demonstration. Rosetta's gaze fell back down to the pavement and Daring's heart shattered. “What about everything else?” she cried desperately. “All the dinners and the study sessions... What about last night? You didn't care about them before! I—I thought you were different...”
A long moment of silnce passed, filled with nothing but the occasional sniffle or rustling of leaves in the breeze. Every second the silence lasted drove a spike of pain deeper and deeper into Daring's heart. She didn't know how much time passed, but she somehow managed to avoid openly crying before Rosetta sighed in defeat.
“I should have nipped this in the bud years ago...” she said without looking up. “Back when I first saw it. But I thought it was only temporary...”
Daring's jaw dropped. “You knew?” she exclaimed. “You knew and you didn't say anything?”
“I'd hoped that you'd get over it, Darey!” Rosetta interjected, stomping her hoof for emphasis. “I can't... We can't...” She collapsed on her haunches and shook her head. “I can't do this...” she whispered.
“And why not?” Daring all but roared. “Because I've got wings instead of a stupid horn?”
“No, Darey!” Rosetta cried, gesturing around them. “I can't do this!” She let out a breathless sigh. “Not every time we're together! We're broken! It won't ever be the same...”
A horrible feeling settled in Daring's gut. “No...”
“Canterlot University offered me a position as their lead Archeology Professor a few weeks ago,” the unicorn continued despite Daring's increasing tears. “I was going to tell you tonight.”
“No...”
“I think it'd be best for both of us if I take it.”
“No!” Daring screamed, her voice cracking. “You can't just leave! We're best friends!”
Rosetta's eyes gleamed brightly in the moonlight. The tears streaming down her face lit little trails across her cheeks. “I have to, Darey,” she whispered, closing her eyes and turning around. “Good bye.” The shadows melted around her as she walked down the trail and into the darkness of the park.
Daring fell to her knees and howled in pain. How could everything have gone so wrong? She cried and screamed Rosetta's name and beat the pavement with her hooves, scraping away the rocks and bloodying her fetlocks. She cried until her voice abandoned her and her eyes dried, but nopony came to her side. After years of traveling the world and collecting the rarest and most precious of items, somehow she'd lost the most important one of them all right in her own backyard.
I wiped my eyes with a sniffle and turned the page, only to be met with a blank sheet of paper. “Huh?” Frowning, I turned the page again and found the same thing. “No...” I quickly flipped another page and was met with a black and white picture of an over-groomed stallion posing next to a tree. “No, no, no!” I screamed at him, “That can't be it! Rosetta totally loves her!”
It was so obvious! Rosetta was the only pony that didn't think Daring was dumb just because she liked action! She understood her like nopony else could! They'd been the closest of friends for years! They'd snuggled! Heck, Rosetta had even kissed her back! Daring Do lays her heart out on the table and Rosetta just stabs in right out front of her? I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears. I felt like smashing something! What kind of pony does that?
What was Daring supposed to do now? Where was she without Rosetta, her best and only friend? There had to be more—Rosetta wouldn't just do that to me! She couldn't just leave Daring crying in the park after shattering her dreams! Daring Do never lost! She'd get her somehow! She had to!
I flipped the book over and shook it for leaflets. I double-checked for loose pages or rip marks or page-count skips—anything that would tell me that that wasn't the end, but to no avail. “Argh! Stupid book!” I roared, throwing it as hard as I could. The tome sailed across the room and burst through the cloud wall with an anticlimactic poof, leaving a window-sized hole in the otherwise lonely and barren guest room. I stared at the hole, huffing and puffing and cursing the name “Rosetta Stone.” That book shouldn't have been printed. It shouldn't have even been written ! Who could allow a book so full of false-hope and empty promises to reach the hooves of unsuspecting readers? That stupid book was better off lost!
Wait... “lost?”
“Oh, no...” I rushed to the wall and peered out of it. Tiny drops of ice cold rain settled on my mane and chilled the back of my neck. Dark clouds churned angrily below, but I couldn't see the book anywhere. “Oh, crap!” I groaned, closing my eyes and smacking my forehead with a hoof. I couldn't believe I'd just thrown a library book off of a cloud! “Twilight's gonna kill me...”
Through the makeshift window, I could make out the distant lights of the castle throne room, still twinkling after several hours. I wiped away another tear. “You know what?” I said after a moment, collapsing on the 'sill' and resting my head on my hooves. “Let her!” A dark chuckle forced its way up my throat. “I don't care anymore... It'll probably be the only time I see her for a year!”
The wind picked up, whipping more of the icy water into my face. It's over, I thought bitterly, fighting back the urge to kick something. Why did I ever think she'd pick me over her dream?
“Stupid me, I guess...” I grumbled. “Left the Wonderbolts, lost the girl...” Heck, I'd never apologized to Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie for making them cry, either—and that look of bitterness Rarity had taken to using on me wasn't exactly reassuring. “Probably ruined all of my friendships, too...” My lip quivered as I stared out at the rolling expanse of dangerous-looking thunderheads; I suddenly found it very difficult not to fall down crying just like Daring Do. “Why can't I do anything right?”
Thunder rolled through the clouds. The boulders that surrounded the castle walls glistened with rain by the light of the moon like a hoard of enormous earthen daggers. I stood up a little straighter as a new thought struck me. “Maybe I should just... go...” I leaned a little further out the window and watched the drops of water fall upon crags. It'd be so easy to just solve all of my problems right now...
Almost as soon as it occurred to me, I pushed it away. I was not gonna run away, no matter how painfully obvious it was that I'd royally screwed up my life. I shook my head and spread my wings in earnest. “I need to get outta here...” Ignoring the flash of pain in my wing, I leaped out of the hole and into the night sky. I twirled around the cloud tower a few times, then headed off in a random direction.
The weather team must have given up on controlling the storm, because the entire sky was covered in thick, black thunderheads. Right now, the rain was falling gently, but the hair on the back of my neck was standing on end; I knew this was only the beginning of one heck of a storm. A bolt of lightning shot through the air a few miles to my right. A split second later, an earsplitting thunderclap nearly deafened me. It sounded like somepony had just blew off a firework right next to my face. I shook my head and marveled at the sheer ferociousness of the sky.
A few years ago, I had been a part of a team that had created a large thunderstorm in Ponyville. It was simple enough, really. All we had to do was throw a bunch of clouds together and monitor them so that they didn't get out of hoof. I got stuck with the late shift that night and, consequently, fell asleep on a higher cloud bank. The next day, Twilight gave me an earful about how a tree had nearly destroyed the library and it had taken the hard work of her guests just to get it off her bed. I smiled at the memory. The reaming itself hadn't been particularly fun, but after she'd stopped yelling we'd gone out for “apology ice cream” and I promised never to let another giant stick assault her in her sleep again.
Another time, I'd had to make an emergency landing in the library after a stray bolt of lightning had nearly taken my wing off. Luckily, I'd only lost a few primaries—which Twilight dutifully grew back with a smile. I wanted to kiss her right there and tell her everything, but I didn't.
It's funny to think about, but there was a time when she'd outright grabbed my face and brought it to hers, proclaiming “you don't have to hid your feelings from me!” I'd thought I was found out—that somehow she'd discovered my feelings and that she was accepting me; I could have kissed her then, too. It's too bad life doesn't work that way.
My vision clouded as I flew out over Canterlot. Twilight and I had been best friends for so long—and these were all great memories. So why couldn't I stop crying? It wasn't like she was dead or anything, just gone.
Not even gone—just gone from my life. Moved on. Climbed the ladder. Raised her pay grade. However you put it, she wasn't going to be around me or the rest of her friends nearly as often anymore. She was going to live in Canterlot and be a Princess and the few times a year she'd manage to make her way down to little old Ponyville wouldn't be for me—they'd be for us . All of us. Her friends . If I could even call them that anymore; after the way I treated them and stormed out of the throne room, I wouldn't be surprised if they never wanted to see me again. I knew I didn't want to see Twilight —just the thought sent a fiery pain ripping through my heart.
“Guess we won't get to have that talk when 'we' get home, huh?” I mumbled bitterly to myself. “Figures. She also promised we'd be best friends forever and look what that lead to...”
The sky lit up again and a burst of thunder rocked the heavens. The rain pounded against my fur, soaking me to the bone. I shivered and sped up my pace, sailing past a giant billboard plastered with a picture of Spitfire in full Wonderbolts dress. A black silhouette with a wild mane and a question mark on its face stood next to her by the entrance to the Wonderbolt Academy. The words “Can you handle it?” floated across the top. I took a long hard look at it and felt a few more tears fall down my cheeks.
“You would've made one heck of a 'bolt, kid,” the gruff-yet-gentle voice of the Wonderbolt Captain whispered in my ear. “Was it worth it?”
I wiped my eyes and looked down. My rain-soaked mane clung to my face, obscuring my view of the advertisement. I shook my head. “I don't know...” I whispered. “I-I don't know anything anymore! I just...” I choked on a sob and turned away. “I don't know!”
Spitfire's grin greeted me when I looked back. Every self-assured fiber of her being resonated from that look and it boiled my blood. “Quit mocking me!” I pulled back a hoof and cracked it off her muzzle. Pain exploded up my leg and focused on my shoulder. The billboard flew backwards, then sprang back and smacked me in the face, knocking me off balance. “Ow!” I flapped wildly, but I continued to drop through the air. My wing screamed in agony—the loose and pulled muscles within it struggling just to maintain form as I stretched and tightened them in a desperate attempt to keep myself afloat in the air. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” For a minute, I thought I wouldn't be able to do it, but I managed to straighten myself out before my wing gave up.
I hovered there for a few minutes and tried to slow my heart rate. I gulped as I looked down at the ground. I was only a few stories from the street; if I hadn't been such a skilled flier, I probably would've never made it. I bet Twilight would've liked that—I could practically hear her voice in my head right now: “Stupid! That was so stupid! You almost died !”
I huffed as I climbed through the air again. My wing now hurt a lot more during every flap, but I couldn't bring myself to land—flying the only way I knew how to relax and forget the world. Not that it was helping all that much lately.
“Oh, like you care!” I screamed. The sky rumbled back tenfold as lightning struck the water tower on the other side of the city.
“What's that supposed to mean?”
I sailed over the rooftops and reached cloud-level. The rain poured even harder now, each drop pelting me like hail. “You know darn well, Princess!”
I ripped through the air, flying like a bat out of Tartarus. A fierce crack echoed as another bolt of lightning burst onto some poor, unsuspecting pony's roof.
“Oh, what? You don't think I care if you live or die?”
“Who does !” I roared, bucking one of the lower clouds. It vanished in a puff of smoke. I sped through the rain as fast as I could, ducking and weaving around the tallest Canterlot buildings. “I—“ Rounding a bend, I spiraled around a pillar and somersaulted through a decorative hole. “—have—“ I twisted back around and arced over the building's shining copper roof. “—nothing!”
A bolt of lightning broke through the clouds above. There was a white flash and I only had time to scream in horror before it snaked through the air; in an instant, it struck the roof and exploded. I jumped backward as sparks flew. My wing screamed at the unexpected pressure and finally quit on me. The next thing I knew, I was falling again, but something was different about this time. Something important.
I didn't care.
I fell like a stone. Windows and lights zoomed past me. The wind whistled in my ears. The ground rushed toward me, welcoming me with sweet relief. No more worrying about Twilight. No more Wonderbolts. No more having to worry about my friends or the “what-ifs.” Just calm, cool serenity. Why didn't I think of this before?
I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable: The final, bone-shattering impact that would finally end this nightmare I invited upon myself. I wondered how long it would take somepony to find me. Probably not that long—Canterlot's pretty busy during the day. My friends were sure in for a rude awakening. I bet Twilight will feel downright ashamed for breaking her promises! She'll probably cry, too! Good!
An image of Twilight's face drenched in tears as she lay over me filtered through my brain. I hoped she learned her lesson! I hoped she'd cry herself to sleep every night and wake up late every morning! If only Daring Do had thought of this! I... I...
Wait a minute... Was I seriously hoping to make Twilight cry? What was I thinking? I didn't want that! Twilight was my best friend, even if I was pretty steamed that she'd chosen being a Princess instead of being with me! And what about my friends? There was no reason I couldn't just apologize to them!
What kind of a pony was I becoming? I couldn't do this! I was Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash never runs away from her problems!
I opened my eyes and saw the ground rushing towards me. Three hundred hooves. Two hundred and fifty. Two hundred. I flared out my wings and felt the cold rain bounce off my feathers. Then I felt my wing joints scream. My vision turned red and I lost all feeling except for pain—horrible, horrible pain. The air twisted around my good wing, knocking me off balance. Still screaming in pain, I flipped uncontrollably through the air as I continued to drop. My vision returned just in time for me to see the grass waving gently below me.
“Ahh!”
I stretched out my hooves in a futile, last-chance effort to control some portion of my landing, but I hit the ground hard and something snapped. The rest of my body hit the ground an instant later and I screamed like a banshee as I slid across the grass, rocks, twigs and everything else that lay on the dirt.
Pain. That was my world—nothing but pain. As I lay crying in the pouring rain, I stared at the sky and wondered how I managed to survive such a horrible crash. A coppery taste filled my mouth and I couldn't even feel my wings anymore, but I was alive. Something warm trickled down my sides. Strangley, I felt so incredibly cold that I could hardly even remember what warmth felt like. A tingling sensation was all I could feel in the tips of my legs. But my heart beat slowly in my chest, like a well oiled machine. Too slowly, actually. That's when it hit me.
“No...”
I tried to sit up, but everything hurt. I wondered if there was a bone in my body I'd somehow managed to not break. Every time I tried to move, my vision clouded and I couldn't help but scream as a ferocious pain wracked my body. I struggled to breathe—just raising my chest was painful enough, and my breaths were getting more and more shallow.
“No!”
I couldn't be... I wouldn't just...
What were my friends going to think?
What was Twilight going to think?
There was no way! This couldn't be the end! It couldn't be!
“How could you, Rainbow?”
“Huh?” I bit my lip and twisted my head as much as I could without screaming. A unicorn stood in the distance, approaching with carefully measured steps. “Who's there?” I groaned. “Help...”
She had deep indigo fur and a light purple mane. On her face, she wore wire-framed glasses, which contrasted deeply with the—was that a Wonderbolts suit she was wearing? I blinked hard to double check. Yep, that was a unicorn wearing a flight suit.
“Help...”
She sat down in the grass just before me and shot daggers into my eyes. With a heavy thud, a book dropped right in front of my nose. I recognized the cover, but not before I recognized the mare who'd brought it to me.
“R-Rosetta Stone?” I gasped.
“You're pathetic,” was her response.
My jaw dropped. “Wha—“
“Look at you, crying in the grass just because you didn't get your way.”
I blinked slowly, trying to clear the darkness from my vision. Breathing was getting a little tiring now. And a lot more painful. “No...”
“Don't lie,” she growled, standing up. “You're getting what you deserve.” Her glasses fell off and suddenly her coat changed colors—morphing from deep indigo to a soothing lavender. Tears fell from her eyes. “Why couldn't you just be happy for me, Rainbow? You said you loved me, but now you're doing this...”
“No...” I whispered as she walked away. I tried to raise a hoof to reach out to her, but my leg wouldn't listen to the commands my brain was giving it; it lay motionless on the ground. “Twi, I'm sorry...”
The unicorn's form disappeared into the fog just as suddenly as it appeared. “Goodbye, Rainbow Dash.”
I laid on the ground, calling her name with what little strength I had left, but it was no use; Twilight wasn't going to come back. I was alone.
I was alone and I deserved it.
“Twilight...”
My eyelids grew heavier and heavier, and I just didn't have the energy to keep them open anymore. As the world grew black, I finally closed them for good.
Alone.
I shivered as the cold wind of a winter far too early for its time bit through my fur and chilled my bones. It was only mid-autumn, but I could already see the thick blanket of clouds on its way to cover the sky. I sighed as I paced down the worn trail, weaving between the fallen oaks and the growing weeds until I found myself in a small clearing, facing a sheer cliff and the rolling sea.
I stood there for a moment, watching the lone, barren tree on the far side waving in the gentle ocean breeze. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times I'd been there—dozens, maybe—but, somehow, the tears always managed to find their way to my eyes.
I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes before stretching my lips into a smile. Stepping over a final log, I made my way across the leaf-covered meadow and sat within the multicolored foliage. I frowned and cleared a small section from the ground. “Hey, there,” I whispered, wiping the last of the leaves away. “Sorry I'm late—negotiations didn't exactly go as planned.” I chuckled as I sat back in the grass and stared out at the water in the distance. “The Maws didn't want me in their Hall, so I had to send Spike in, instead.”
I sighed. “Applejack wasn't exactly thrilled about that, but I had to do something !” I growled to myself and shook my head. “This war is draining everyone, especially her; she doesn't complain, though, no matter how little sleep she gets on her watch nights.”
Another gust of wind picked up the leaves and scattered them around some more. I put another smile on my face and ignored the pain in my heart as I absentmindedly ran my hoof along the edge of the polished stone. “The others are doing well,” I said. “We just finished moving Fluttershy's stuff into her room, so we can all be together again—just like the old days...” I tried to hold it in, but I nearly choked on the last words.
Happy , I corrected myself as I tried my best not to burst into tears like I had so many times before. She'd want me to be happy.
“It's nice to have friends so close again,” I said after a moment. “The castle's been pretty lonely since... Since, well...” I couldn't hold it back anymore; a deep sob ripped through my throat as my vision blurred. “Those awful dragons! I'm starting to think they knew !” I cried, burying my head in my hooves. “They knew what would happen when they got there, and Celestia wanted there to be somepony around to... to...”
I shut my eyes tight and concentrated on the sound of the waves hitting the cliff. “I'm scared, Rainbow...” I whispered, clutching at the cold stone tablet. “I wish you were here... Nothing's the same anymore.” A cocky smirk worn by a set of cyan lips flashed through my vision. “Nopony says it, but I know we're broken; Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy—I don't think I've seen anypony smile in months.
“And Applejack? She's the worst...” I cracked, wiping my eyes once more. “She blames herself, you know—keeps saying that she should have seen it coming...” I ran my hooves across the letters inscribed on the stone, playing with the smooth edges of the corners. “I don't know how she could have—there was no way anypony would have thought that you'd...”
My heart lurched. “How could you?” I screamed at the inscription. “How could you just abandon us like that? Just when everything was going right!” The wind picked up, blowing more leaves around the meadow in a flurry. “Just when you made the Wonderbolts; just when Celestia asked me to be a Princess !” I stomped on the ground and resisted the urge to beat the polished granite. Tears fell from my eyes. “How could you say all those things and just... leave ? I don't understand!”
I watched the stone for a while, remembering everything I could about the wonderful mare that laid beneath it. We used to have so much fun together; it was hard to believe she was just... gone. Simply gone. This was the closest I'd ever get to seeing her again...
“You promised that we'd be best friends forever...” I said softly. “And it hurts me that you broke that promise because I've been thinking a lot lately, and I realized something that I should have known long ago...”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The urge to just fall, crying to the ground was stronger than anything I'd ever felt before, but I managed to control it. I opened my eyes and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I love you, too...” I whispered.
The wind howled through the trees, carrying thousands of leaves through the air and over the cliff side. I couldn't stay here any more—it was getting too painful. Slowly, I turned away from the grave site and began the long journey back to the castle. I stepped back over the fallen log and worked my way down the trail and through the woods, ducking under low-hanging branches and weaving around trees.
As I walked, my suppressed sobs leaked through my mouth in sharp, uncontrollable bursts. My vision blurred. Eventually, I gave in and sat down in the dirt. “Rainbow...” I moaned into my hooves. “Come back...”
There was no coming back, though. My best friend was gone—my best friend, who I had loved with all of my heart. It had only been a few months since she'd left, and I was already starting to break down; I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to last before I finally cracked and lost my mind.
This wasn't living—there was nothing to live for!
I cried for hours in the woods, beating my hooves on the ground and matting my fur in the muck. I was alone.
Alone...
Three weeks before Magical Mystery Cure came out, it seemed that everybody in the brony community knew what was going to happen—Twilicorn was going to become canon. As the fanart and fanfiction exploded, I grew into a deeper and deeper depression; I didn't want Twilicorn, Twilight was perfect the way she was! The show itself was perfect! Two unicorns, two earth ponies, two pegasi! It made sense! It wouldn't make any sense at all to make that dynamic suddenly change and, I'm not gonna lie here, I was worried about my OTP—the ship I'd written for back when there were only three fics about it total and FIMFiction was a baby: TwiDash.
I won't get into a shipping battle here; I've already been into plenty of those and I do not want to be in another. What I will say is that Twilight becoming an alicorn, to me at least, spelled Doomsday for me. Imagine Rainbow Dash actually accepting an offer into the Wonderbolts; sure, on the surface, this is a good thing: her dream has come true! But, eventually, her loyal nature would make her regret signing a contract and being so far away from everyone she cares about. Now imagine Twilight's now an all-powerful being with control of the entire country. Rainbow Dash's fears don't seem so far-fetched now, do they?
So, three weeks before MMC came out, I set about venting my feelings in the form of what I thought was going to be a quick and easy one-shot; if you know anything about the past seven months concerning me, then you know that it was anything but. My world fell apart as I wrote it. Every time I opened up the document, my mind broke. I knew where I wanted to go, but my brain was refusing to let me go there. If not for the support of my friends, bats, Timaeus, CalmNQuiet, Lostzilla and Tomthehunkydiamond (along with negative reinforcement from my friend Echriedz,) I probably never would have finished this story at all. Thank you, guys.
Another thank you goes to CalmNQuiet, who wrote a grand total of 0.1% of this story for me, when my brain was killing me on one part so badly, that I simply couldn't write anything for weeks. The short verse on the train (totaling about half a paragraph) including the phrase “like the crescendo of a song, my life was at its peak,” was written by him, then chopped into itty-bitty pieces by me and edited and styled and combed over and refined and so on so forth until it hardly looked anything like what he wrote, except for that line, which I kept because I liked. Thank you, buddy, for giving my addled brain something to work with.
And bats, Ech, I doubt you'll ever read this, since you both told me that you've sworn off sadfics, but I wanted to thank you for your horrible torment and teasing; without it, I probably would have given up and moved on to something else, like Elements of Chaos...
Vertorm, I know I just met you officially and that you only did Chapter 7 and the Epilogue, but thanks for beta-reading and showing me the errors that my glazed eyes couldn't catch at three o'clock in the morning. I really appreciate the help.
Readers, thanks for coming and joining in on my misery, whether you liked or disliked my fic. Please check out my other stories if you wish to read more from me! (Or follow, me! I'm trying to catch back up to bats. Somehow, he managed to pass me in followers, favorites and even story view counts while I was writing this.)
See you next time around, my friends!
—Blundy
Author's Note
Yeah, I know I could have put that in here, but I felt that this was important enough to warrant its own section.
The banquet hall was a grandiose room with dozens of white-clothed tables and brightly-lit crystal chandeliers. Even though the lights that hung overhead provided more than enough light, there were still hundreds of candles covering the tables. I guessed that there was enough room in the place to comfortably seat every stuck-up noble in Canterlot and his mother! Still, despite the sheer size of the room, only the biggest, most fancy table on the stage had been set up with dining equipment.
Captain Iron Hoof weaved us through the aisles and up to the table. He gestured to the far end with a hoof. “Down there would be best,” he said thoughtfully. “Sir Ladon Fireclaw will most likely wish to sit nearest the princesses...”
Twilight frowned and looked at him. “Are you sure that's wise?”
“No.”
She bit her lip. “I thought so...”
I shrugged and jumped onto a chair, taking in the sights the table held for me to see; not much, as it turned out—just a bunch of empty plates and polished silverware. “So what?” I asked, picking up the shiniest fork with a grin. “If he tries anything, we'll just take him down!”
“Rainbow!” Rarity cried out indignantly, “I demand you get that off your nose this instant! Forks are for eating, not to get dirty in silly balancing acts!”
I huffed and crossed my forelegs on the back of the chair. “So what? It's my fork!”
“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie cheered, bouncing into view on the table. Perched on the tip of her muzzle was an assortment of dozens of pieces of cutlery all perched so precariously that I wondered how they hadn't already fallen and created a huge mess on the floor. “Besides, fork-balancing is so much fun !”
I laughed as Rarity's jaw dropped. A clattering sound came from the floor and I looked down to see my fork on the ground. “Aw...” A second later, a crashing chorus of clangs announced that Pinkie had dropped her own set of silverware. I looked over at the pink mare and we shared a look of mutual disappointment before bursting into uproarious guffaws.
At some point during our laughter, the others passed by and took their seats at the table. “How boorish...” Rarity grumbled while she walked.
I picked up my fork and frowned at the numerous little hairs that had somehow entwined themselves around the prongs. “Shoot...” I tried to wipe them off on the table cloth, but the silver instrument disappeared in a flash of purple light. A moment later, it materialized next to my plate, gleaming like newly washed steel. Dozens more of the tiny flashes bolted across the table, leaving the cleaned utensils behind them.
“Now come on, Rarity,” Twilight chuckled, her horn aglow. “They were hardly harming anypony.” I felt my lips stretch into a stupid grin until the unicorn's chuckles turned into a reprimanding, albeit not unfriendly stare. “But you two really ought to at least try and practice proper table manners.”
My grin faded to a smile and I shrugged, feeling a heat rise to my cheeks. “Sorry...” I laughed uneasily, suddenly very aware of Twilight's judging gaze. She's still thinking about it... I gulped. “It won't happen again!” I said hastily.
Rarity snorted.
“Now, c'mon, Rares,” Applejack said through a crooked smile, “She did say she was sorry.”
“Besides!” I blurted, pointing a hoof at Rarity, “That wasn't exactly lady-like either!”
Gasping in indignation, however mild it was, the alabaster unicorn brought a hoof to her heart. “Rainbow Dash is giving me a lecture on proper etiquette ?” she cried, “I must be dreaming! Next you'll be teaching me how to design my dresses!
My jaw dropped. “What?” I cried incredulously. Obviously, Rarity didn't know me as well as she though she did. When had I ever even wanted to take part in anything fashion related? “No, way! I don't want and part of that sissy dressy stuff!” Just saying it left a bad taste in my mouth; I stuck out my tongue in disgust.
The Captain, standing stoically behind Twilight, shifted his weight. “Er... I'll go fetch the princesses, shall I?” Without waiting for a response, he took off for the nearest door. He didn't have to go far—just as he made it halfway across the room, that very same door opened up to reveal two tall-as-heck alicorns and a relatively small dragon. He jumped in surprise before standing at attention by the door.
“—trust it will be to your liking,” the tallest alicorn finished saying as she led the party into the hall. Her white coat glimmered in stark contrast to her younger sister's midnight blue fur, which seemed to melt into the shadows.
Emerald green eyes glowed angrily under deep red scales as the dragon stomped his way into the room, almost running over Celestia in the process. “You think I'm so easily bought?” he growled deeply. The power of his vocals shook the plates on the table; I gulped. “My people will have justice!”
'Small' is never an appropriate word for a mature dragon—even the shorter ones usually grow as big as houses, which is why their ambassadors were usually on the younger side. They were still small enough to fit in meeting rooms. Sometimes. The whole banquet hall seemed to hold its breath in this particular drake's presence. I wondered just where the princesses were talking to him, because Ladon Fire-whatever's spines were scratching the ceiling tiles.
To her credit—or maybe stupidity—Celestia seemed unfazed by all of the overgrown lizard's intimidatory features and she walked beside him as they spoke. “I have little doubt of that, Ladon,” she said calmly. “As I said, would be happy to sort this out if Maw Alduin would simply meet with—“
“No!” the dragon rumbled, stopping in his tracks. “The Great Maw answers to no one—especially not a weak little pony!” Smoke wafted out of his nostrils. “You meet with him on the sacred grounds or we will deal with this problem ourselves—and I need not remind you what happened to the last spies that infiltrated our tribes!”
Celestia's wings flared and, for a brief moment, I thought she was gonna buck the teeth right out of that dragon's mouth, but her face remained flat and devoid of anything but peace. “I have already agreed to do so,” she said flatly. “But those ponies were not spies, Lord Ambassador; they were sociologists on their way to Gryphonia and they were innocent .”
Silence reigned supreme in the hall for almost a minute before the dragon's mouth opened again and released a horrid stench of sulfur. “The Great Maw sees no difference.”
“Clearly...” Celestia began moving towards the table again. “But you do not see us threatening war over their deaths, do you?”
“That is your prerogative.”
I felt my heart stop for a second. War? With the dragons? We'd all die! I hoped Celestia was a good a negotiator as the stories made her out to be, or Equestria might well be roasted.
Celestia sighed as she took her seat at the center of the table, apparently too distracted to throw a passing smile our way. Luna sat to her immediate right and the dragon dominated the whole left half of the table, nostrils flaring as he studied each of us for a long while. My blood turned to fire as he blew a smoke ring in Twilight's direction. The unicorn hacked on the foul smelling burn product, her eyes watering as she tried her best to wave it away with her hoof.
“Hey!” I cried, smashing a hoof on the table before I could stop myself. “Cut it out!”
Our eyes met and I saw the cold hatred it had for all of us; for a creature that breathed fire, his stare could have frozen continents. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and my lip peeled back; I ignored the jab of pain as my wings sprung out instinctively. For a moment, I wished he would try something, but nothing happened.
Applejack elbowed my foreleg. “What are you, part wolf?” she hissed in my ear. “Quit your growling before you stir up more trouble!”
I said nothing and kept my eyes on the dragon. He leered over the table at me before turning to face Celestia. “Are these your warriors?” he said gruffly.
The alicorn shook her head, “No, Ladon,” she said through gritted teeth. She gestured to Twilight jerkily. “This is Twilight Sparkle, my prize student, and these are her friends: Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.” She looked at each of us with a smile. “I really am glad that all of you could make it—you are all true friends!”
“Any time, Princess Celestia,” Twilight said with a smile. “We're always happy to help!”
“I know, Twilight, that is why I've sent for you.”
Ladon snorted. “Send for the High Flame himself if you wish, pony,” he growled. “My people will have justice.”
High Flame? I wondered, catching Twilight's eye. She shrugged.
“You needn't worry, Sir Dragon,” Princess Luna piped up. “This has naught to do with you.”
Celestia nodded. “Correct, Sister. There are other matters we must attend to.”
Twilight's smile faltered for a moment. “Other matters, Princess?” she asked, turning her head.
“Yes, Twilight,” Celestia said carefully. She eyed the large red lizard, who glared in turn. I wondered just what we'd missed earlier today. I didn't think our rulers were taking very kindly to Ladon. “But we will discuss this later. For now, we shall eat!”
As if on cue, the banquet hall suddenly filled with servants carrying platters of food. I tuned out all conversation as I watched several stallions place giant bowls of salad on the table. My mouth watered and my stomach growled painfully; I could smell grilled asparagus and fried onions and baked potatoes just like my mother used to make. Another smell I couldn't quite place flooded my nostrils. I wasn't sure what it was, but it reminded me of the time I'd been flying through a thunderstorm and got shocked by a bolt of lightning. I forgot about it when more food was set down on the table.
I grinned and laughed jovially. Without wasting another second, I gripped my fork and started piling everything I could reach onto my plate. I tossed some asparagus on my platter and reached for the spinach. Beets and carrots laid down next to the greens. Next to fall victim to my voracious search for anything edible was an especially tasty looking potato and several buttery biscuits. I licked my lips and grabbed a strange, lumpy thing that looked like a fruit and set it in the middle of my plate.
“Woah, girl!” Applejack laughed as I dipped a black ladle in the beans for the fourth time. She grabbed my hoof. “Slow down, there! Save some for the rest of us!”
My jaw quivered in response. I felt weak, like I hadn't eaten in days . The site of my plate, piled high with just about everything I could think of, sent a burst of joy through my body. This is the last day I ever skip breakfast! I thought ruefully.
One of the stallion servers sat a large brown mass before Ladon and the strange smell returned. The dragon sniffed it and chuckled. “Amazing,” he said with a smirk. “I wasn't expecting this.”
Celestia's features drooped. “Neither was that poor deer...” she mumbled.
Wait... what? I took another long look at Ladon's meal. Suddenly, I recognized what that strange smell was; almost as instantly, I didn't feel very hungry anymore. My stomach churned and threatened to empty what little I had managed to put in it back onto my plate.
Fluttershy's face turned green. Her breathing grew erratic and her wings puffed out. “You mean that's... that's...” her voice trailed off, returning full force in the form of an earsplitting screech. Looking at her, I wasn't sure if she was gonna run screaming from the banquet hall or charge the twenty-foot-tall, fire-breathing lizard—she did neither, electing to simply stare at the accursed plate and whimper. Finally, after several long moments, she was silenced by the comforting hoof of a pale faced Rarity.
Next to me, Applejack and Pinkie Pie wore matching looks of horror on their faces, but otherwise seemed to be mostly okay. In fact, the only pony aside from the princesses that didn't appear to be affected by the sudden revelation at the atrocity that was the dragon's dinner was Twilight, who sipped from her mug. She even appeared to be taking it better than Celestia and Luna, who both looked a little queasy as they watched Ladon laugh at us.
“Uh, Twi?” I said, trying to regain control over my shifting insides. “You did hear that, right?”
She shrugged and looked at me with a slightly amused look on her face. “Dragons are carnivorous,” she answered, returning to her salad. “I'll admit that it's not exactly palatable, but it's a fact of life.”
“It's wrong !” I objected, standing up on my chair and placing my forehooves on the table. “How can you side with him? He... he's eating a—“
“—a cadaver from a species that has not even developed a proper form of communication,” the unicorn finished. “He needs to eat, too.”
“Hah!” Ladon cheered through a mouthful of singed flesh. He pointed a sharpened claw in Twilight's direction. “I like this one!”
That seemed to wake Twilight up a little; I think praise from a dragon , of all things, would be enough for anypony to reconsider their views on life. Through a frown, she turned to Princess Celestia and spoke again: “Though I have to ask, Princess: why did you decide on meat in lieu of the traditional dish of gems normally served to draconian diplomats?”
Celestia's eyes never wavered from watching the giant barbarian stab at his meal with teeth much too sharp to do any real chewing. “A conversation for another time, perhaps?” she said softly.
I rolled my eyes and cast my gaze back at my own plate. Where once I could smell beautifully prepared greens and beans, I could now only find the putrid stench of burned flesh. My eyes watered a little as I pushed the bile rising from my stomach back down my throat. How was I supposed to eat now ? I pushed my plate away and sighed; I wasn't that hungry anymore anyway.
A look around the table showed I wasn't the only one having difficulties with dinner. Fluttershy had outright forsaken her plate for Rarity's shoulder—and the palomino unicorn could hardly eat with a pony sobbing into her embrace. Applejack's face was a little mottled, but she otherwise appeared to be fine. Even Princess Luna only poked at her food; she stared at her plate while rolling a cherry tomato around with her hoof.
Ladon, however, appeared to be having a blast. He tore at his dinner with a savageness I'd only ever associated with timber wolves before. Strands of fibrous sinew hung from his teeth as he smacked his gums together. “You know,” he said amidst his chewing, “For a bunch of flower-chewers, you ponies really know how to fry a buck!” He smiled malevolently and tore off another chunk of the poor beast's body. “Perhaps you'd like to try some roast bear when we get to Black Mountain!”
Princess Celestia frowned deeply. “Twilight Sparkle will not be accompanying us to Black Mountain,” she said sternly. “That wasn't the deal.”
Ladon shrugged. “Whatever,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Suit yourself, pony.”
Twilight looked up. “What's going on at Black Mountain?” she asked.
“You would know,” Ladon growled. He tore a fresh chunk of meat off his plate and smacked his lips; I fought the urge to vomit. “You ponies and your spies... We ought to just burn the lot of you.”
I stood up in my seat with a snarl. On the fence or not, there was no way I was letting my future wife get threatened by a stupid dragon! “Hey!” I cried, “Don't talk to her like that!”
Applejack grabbed my wing and pulled me back into my seat. “Hey!”
“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” she whispered into my ear, pinning my hoof to the chair.
“I don't care!” I tried my best to wriggle free from the farmer's grip, but it was no use. Eventually, I gave up and simply glared daggers at the giant lizard. “Nopony threatens Twilight!”
“I will have to agree,” Princess Celestia chimed in. “You'll not be pursuing any malicious intentions toward anypony, Ladon.”
The dragon grunted and turned his attention back to his plate. “You ponies are too easy,” he chuckled. There was little other discussion as Ladon went about finishing his meal. It seemed to go on for hours. I used the time to try and calm myself down. I caught Twilight's eye and she shot me a warm smile. Ladon, however, ripped and clawed and chewed with great big and obnoxious lip-smacks until there was little beyond bone left on his plate. When he was done and picking his teeth with what appeared to be the broken shaft of a shin bone, he showed off his toothy grin.
“Amusing,” he said, finally. He stood up and stretched, digging deep scratches into the polished wood of the table.
Celestia's ears perked up. “Tired, Sir Dragon?”
Ladon straightened himself up and tossed the bone onto the table, where it skittered across the plates and sat itself before Fluttershy—who'd just managed to crawl out from Rarity's shoulder. The buttercup pony shrieked and tackled Rarity off her chair. The two of them fell to the floor with Fluttershy on top, crying and howling in tragic indignation. Applejack had to hold me down again as he laughed cruelly at them.
“I shall return to my quarters now,” he said simply. Without even excusing himself, he hopped off the stage. He landed with a thud on the floor below, and I didn't have to look to know that he'd managed to crack the marble. “Be prepared; we leave in the morning.” With that, he paraded himself out the door with an arrogant smirk and snaked his way down the hall, his tail slithering behind him.
When the door clicked shut, the room filled with silence. Rarity and Fluttershy climbed back into their seats. Everypony looked at each other with an unpleasant look on their face. Celestia let out a big breath. “I thought he'd never leave...”
Luna chuckled tiredly. “Tis not over yet, Sister,” she said, “There is still much to be done.”
“I know.”
After taking a silent moment to herself, Celestia sat up straight and looked at each of us. “As you've probably gathered,” she said slowly, “We have been having some problems with the Dragon Tribes.”
“What happened, Princess?” Twilight asked. “Why do you have to go to the Black Mountain?”
I groaned and put up my hooves. “There it is again!” I cried. The two of them looked at me funny. “What the heck is this Black Mountain ?” I asked frustratedly. “Everypony keeps talking about it—not everypony studied dragons in school, you know!”
Twilight's jaw dropped. “Rainbow!” she said with wide eyes. She frantically looked from me to the Princess and back again. “You can't talk to Princess Celestia that way!”
The corner of said alicorn's mouth raised. “It's quite alright, dear Twilight. It is true that not everypony knows everything about Draconian government.” She paused for a moment and tapped a hood on the table. “The Black Mountain,” she said after a moment, “Was the location of the final battle between Thunderclaw and Tailwind. The land is considered sacred amongst the dragon tribes—all violence is prohibited. It is where the Maws of each tribe meet with the elected Great Maw to discuss matters that affect every tribe in the High Plains. Does that answer your question, Rainbow Dash?”
I nodded. “I guess so...”
Rarity shifted in her seat. “Princess,” she said. “I'm sorry to interrupt, but what exactly is the problem?”
“I was just getting to that,” Celestia answered, taking a sip from her wineglass. “Luna and I must go to the Black Mountain for a summit meeting with the Council of Maws.”
Applejack frowned. “What for?” she asked.
“The dragons believe that we've placed spies in their ranks,” Luna mused, a smile playing on her lips. “Something about a hatchling and 'phoenix raid' of some sort.”
I looked up at that and I saw Twilight's eyes widen. We shared a look with Rarity, who grimaced. Twilight shifted in her seat and bit her lip. “Uh... We might know something about that,” the lavender unicorn said softly.
“Twilight,” Rarity interrupted. “That was a year ago! Why would we be just hearing about it now?”
“You know dragons and their 'codes,'” Applejack grunted, shaking her head with a crooked smile. “Don't they only meet once a year?”
Luna shrugged and looked at Celestia. “They do,” the alabaster alicorn answered, nodding.
“Well, there you go!” the farmer declared before draining her glass of liquid.
“I guess we were technically spying on them,” Twilight conceded. “Though we had no malicious intent, Princess! We only wanted to make sure that Spike would be safe in the High Plains!”
The princesses shared a look before shaking their heads. “It was you girls?” Celestia laughed. “I should have known...”
“Sorry, Princess,” Twilight said meekly, shrinking in her seat. I wondered if she always acted so weird around Celestia. Was her face red? “I didn't think of the consequences when we left...”
“Do not worry about it, Twilight,” the Sun Princess assured her. She reached out a hoof and pet her on the back with a proud grin. “You were concerned for your friend—it just shows how far you've come.”
“You know, they won't care who it was,” Luna said twirling the wine around in her glass. “'Spies' are spies to them, after all.”
Celestia shrugged. “I'd rather it be this than some form of terrorism. I'm sure they would as well.”
“Touche.”
I rolled my eyes and tried not to sound ungrateful as I raised my hooves and spoke up. “So what are we here for?” I huffed, crossing my forelegs. “Dinner?”
“In essence,” Luna answered, taking a bite from a carrot stick. “Honestly, it was only Twilight Sparkle that we needed.”
“But whatever for, Princess?” Rarity asked cocking her head. “Doesn't this just mean that you attend the summit?”
Nodding, the Princess of the Sun leaned back in her chair. “Yes,” she said. “But, unfortunately, the Council of Maws refuses to let either of us stay in Equestria.”
“They believe we'll try something underhoofed,” Luna added with a nod.
“Which means that Equestria will go unsupervised for weeks—maybe even months—while we sort this out.”
Twilight gasped. “But you can't do that!” she cried. “What if—“
Celestia raised a hoof and brought it to the unicorn's mouth. “Relax, Twilight Sparkle. I don't plan on letting anything untoward happen to my little ponies,” she reassured her. She paused for a moment. “Normally, we could call on Cadence to fill in for us, but she's rather busy now, with the Crystal Empire now under her stead.”
“Not to mention a cute new husband!” Luna winked at Twilight, who shrunk back with a slightly sickened look on her face. I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculously cute redness that slowly bled into her face.
“Which means that Luna and I have been forced to accelerate our plans,” Celestia finished, picking up her glass and bringing it to her lips.
Twilight frowned. “What plans?” she asked, “I don't understand, Princess—you said you didn't want me to go to Black Mountain...”
Celestia gave her a knowing smile. Suddenly, I felt very uncomfortable—something about the way she looked at Twilight made me absolutely furious. My wings rose of their own accord as anger coursed through me veins. The twinge of pain emanating from my injury only served to upset me more.
“You shall see soon, Twilight,” the princess said way too happily. She stepped off her chair and motioned for us to follow her down the steps. “Come with me.”
As the others all stepped down to the floor, I shared a look with Applejack. “What do you think's going on?” she asked.
I gave her a halfhearted shrug and glanced at Twilight, who was trailing Celestia's hooves like a lovesick puppy. “I don't know,” I said. Growling, I pulled my wings back to my sides. “But I don't like it.”
Her face grew uneasy. “You okay, Dash?”
I snorted and hopped off the chair. “Yeah,” I said quickly. “Why wouldn't I be?”
We followed Celestia and the others out the banquet hall doors and down the hall. The others whispered to each other up front as Twilight and Celestia talked about whatever. Applejack gave me a long, solid look. Her frown deepened. “You didn't talk to her, did you?”
“I did.”
Her eyebrow raised. “You did, huh?” She pushed my shoulder playfully. “And? Do you feel better?”
I paused mid-step and looked at her. “I-I...” I didn't know what to say. Did I feel better? I thought I had, but right now all I felt like doing was finding a trashcan to buck across the street—or throw up in. “I don't know...”
“You don't know?”
I sighed and continued following the others. “Yeah,” I said, more to the floor than anypony else. “It's kinda hard to explain, AJ... I don't even know if I can .”
“Try me.”
I sighed and tried to figure out how to put everything into words. Twilight's smile flashed through my vision. I saw the joy in her eyes as she giggled and defined hard words for me. She wrapped me up in a hug and told me I was her best friend ever. I saw her give me The Look and I felt my knees immediately grow wobbly under me. I shook my head. “Well...” I started slowly, “It's kinda like when you open up all kinds of cool presents on Hearth's Warming Eve, but the one present that you really wanted isn't there, y'know?” I shrugged. “I don't know how to say it... I just feel... hollow, I guess.”
Applejack was quiet for a moment, her face unreadable. “Well, you could always exchange the ones you don't want for the one you do. Plenty of ponies do that, these days.”
I shook my head. “I already did, but it's not that simple, AJ.” I scuffed the floor as I walked, something about hitting it made me feel a little better. “It's not on display—they have to check the warehouse to see if it's available.”
Though she feigned ignorance, I think Applejack was starting to catch on. I didn't really want her to know how pathetic I was, but right now I just wanted some kind of reassurance that I wasn't being stupid. She gave me a long look. “You put all your eggs in one basket, didn't you?” she asked, her voice wavering slightly.
“Yeah...”
“And now your worried that you've gone and dropped it.”
I didn't answer her—there was no need to; she'd hit the nail right on the head. Twilight wasn't gonna stop being my friend or anything, but I knew her. If—no, when we talked when we got home, I knew that if she didn't say yes, I'd wind up an outsider. Sure, we'd hang out and stuff, but it'd be awkward as heck. Eventually, she'd try to keep away from that awkwardness by avoiding me. Soon, we'd be total strangers. I wouldn't even be able to look forward to joining the Wonderbolts, either, because I'd messed that up, too!
Why couldn't I have just waited until we got home to tell her? I could have worked the angles or something. I could have used her obliviousness to my advantage! We could have hung out more—growing closer and closer until I knew she shared my feelings. Instead, I screwed it all up the first chance I got; just like everything else I try.
Applejack stopped and put a hoof on my shoulder. If felt oddly comforting, even though it was weird, coming from her. “Do you wanna talk about it, Sugarcube?” she asked.
“Not really...” I answered. Well, not to you anyway . I glanced at Twilight, who was now walking shoulder-to-shoulder with the princesses. Heat crawled up my neck, and I had to fight the urge to kick the floor.
Shrugging, the farmer turned her attention back to the hall. She tried to hide it, but I could clearly see the disappointment in her eyes. “Well, I'm always here if you do.”
I shrugged her hoof off and put on a smile as fake as Rarity's eyelashes. “I know.”
The princesses led us down a series of halls, waving to passing guards and greeting the servants with sickening cheerfulness. We ducked through a few rooms, trailed down some corridors and, at one point, had to stop and search for Pinkie Pie when we strolled through the kitchens. Applejack was silent the rest of the way, but I caught her fearful eyes staring at me plenty of times.
Eventually, we stopped just outside a fancy engraved door. The guards posted outside saluted the princesses and opened the way for us, revealing the throne room in all of its majesty. We walked inside and stopped in the center, where we took in the incredible sight.
I'd been inside the throne room before—all of us had, but there was just something about it that always managed to take my breath away; it could have been the marble floors, or the stained glass or even the diamond-studded chandeliers that hung like miniature suns from the ceiling. But something was different about it that day—something wonderful and awful. I wasn't sure why, but right down the middle of the room, where Celestia's pink met Luna's blue, was a streak of reddish-purple. The others oohed and ahhed at it.
Twilight's eyes sparkled as she looked around open-mouthed. “Princess...” she said breathlessly. “What's all this?
The Princess of the Sun smiled at her pupil—something that still set fire to my veins. All of my instincts were screaming for us to leave before something happened. I wanted so badly to grab Twilight and haul her back onto a train back to Ponyville, but I didn't think she'd be too happy about that.
“Do you like it, Twilight?” Celestia asked proudly. “It took quite a bit of work, but it was all worth it.”
“But...” Twilight fumbled for words. She looked at the floor—the ceiling—the walls. “I don't understand...”
Celestia's smile only grew. “Don't you?” She wrapped a hoof around Twilight's waist. I had to stop myself from charging at her right there; being executed for attacking a princess wouldn't be fun—worse still, would be the fact that Twilight would hate me forever for attacking her mentor!
“You've always been a special pony, Twilight,” the alicorn said. She brushed a lock of navy blue hair out of Twilight's eye with a hoof. “I've taught you everything that I could. I trained you—cared for you. I dare say I made you the mare you are today!”
I frowned. What kind of game was Celestia playing at? Sure, Twilight had only known us for a few years, but she was a reclusive mess before she met us! Was she taking credit for everything that we'd done? Was she... Was she trying to steal Twilight from us? My heart sank at the thought. Why, that little...
Twilight's cheeks colored. “Well, thank you, Princess, but I still don't understand what all of this is about.”
“Yeah!” I huffed, stomping a hoof. Rarity shot me an angry look, but I didn't care. “What's going on here?”
Celestia chuckled. I but back a growl; was she laughing at me ? She had some nerve... “Twilight,” she said happily, “Even though the circumstances are not what I had imagined when I began preparing you for this day, know that I am still proud of you—and I always will be.” The lavender unicorn beamed and looked at the floor. “Luna?” Celestia announced, “Pull back the curtain!”
I hadn't even noticed the Night Princess's absence, but she revealed herself between the two thrones at the front of the room. She stood near a sizable mass, hidden by a thick white sheet. Grinning, she seized the sheet with her teeth and pulled it away, revealing a third, lavender throne between the two older ones.
Pinkie Pie screamed—an act that was only out-done by Fluttershy. Rarity fainted. Applejack's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates; I thought they were gonna pop out of her head. Twilight stared at the statue in awe. Me? Well, I felt like punching something. This... this couldn't be happening!
“Twilight Sparkle, your country needs your expert guidance; will you be our newest Princess of Equestria?”
I was breathing heavy. A million thoughts raced through my head. No! I wanted to scream. No! No! No! No! NO! Twilight couldn't become a princess! She couldn't live in Canterlot! We'd never get to see her! She wouldn't do that! She wouldn't abandon us—abandon me ! She... She promised!
Desperately, I looked at Twilight, who's face turned unreadable. She looked at the floor with her eyes closed. Say 'no!' I thought frantically. My vision turned blurry. Say 'no,' Twilight!
My throat felt dry. My heart was beating a million times per minute. My stomach churned and tied itself into knots. My ears felt hot. My hooves felt cold. My whole body was shivering and my eyes stung. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't slow down my breathing; my wingtips were starting to get tingly.
She'd say 'no.' She had to say 'no,' she promised that we'd talk when we got home! She promised that we'd always be best friends! We couldn't be best friends if she was always busy doing princess stuff all the time!
The room was silent. You could cut the tension with a knife. Everypony stared at Twilight as she opened her eyes. She looked around the room. She looked at me. My heart skipped a beat. She looked at Princess Celestia, who gave her the same look as back in the banquet hall; suddenly, I remembered where I'd seen that look before—that warm smile—the comforting gaze—the feeling of absolute understanding! Sure, it looked different on Celestia, but there was no doubt about it: that was The Look.
And she was giving it to Twilight.
“Yes.”
I felt like screaming.
Twilight's answer hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell onto my haunches as the others swarmed her with congratulations and happy cheers. How could they possibly be happy that Twilight had just given us all up for a title that would ensure that things would never be the same between us?
This can't be happening.. . I held my head in my hooves and bit my lip. No, no, no...
“Princess Twilight Sparkle!” Pinkie Pie cheered.
“Our friend is royalty!” Rarity cried, squeezing Twilight like a stuffed animal.
I took in the site like one would a train wreck. I couldn't look away—I couldn't move a muscle to stop the torment. “No...” I whispered. I stomped on the floor as hard as I could. “No!” Everypony's eyes turned to me. I couldn't see anything but blurred spots of color through my stinging eyes. “No!” I roared again. I shook my head and felt a few tears fly away from my face.
Twilight's delighted smile faded; her eyes flashed with concern. “Rainbow?” She took a step towards me, but I stepped away.
“You promised!” I shrieked. Everypony was staring at me. Oh, Celestia, they were all looking at me! They could all see me crying! Applejack could see me crying! My heart raced. My face felt hot. I nearly tripped over myself as I continued to back away from their judgmental stares.
Twilight took another step towards me. “Rainbow—“
“You promised !” I tried to scream it—I wanted to scream it, but I barely managed to choke it out. To make matters worse, my voice even cracked! Great, even my own body was betraying me! I had to get out of there. I had to get away . Everypony was looking at me, and every second I spent looking at Twilight only increased my desire to fall to the floor and roll around screaming in my own tears. Without hesitation, I turned around and ran out the door. Somepony yelled my name. I ignored them.
I burst into the hall. The guards jumped back in surprise as the door crashed into the wall. They fumbled on their hooves while I ran past. My vision blurred again, but I didn't care. I charged down the hall without purpose; I didn't care where my hooves took me, I just wanted to get out of that horrible throne room and away from the pony who'd just ripped my heart out.
