Paranormal Artristry

by BioChemicalWolfGear

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 5517

The kindness of strangers. That's what I believe in. And when a homeless woman shows up at my door I could only show that kindness to her.

A young woman shows up at my door with no memory of anything involving human influence. She finds the most simple things like TV wondrous. I lend her a helping hand and begin to watch as hers turns into a hoof. I am an artist, and the incredible is a daily occurrence in my mind.

So how will I react to the incredible arriving at my doorstep?

(Side note for all those who want to make this story theirs. PM me first so I can tell you if someone else has taken it.)

(Also if you're a new author, I'll do my best to show you writing techniques that could mean the difference from getting featured, and getting a ton of favorites and likes.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-24 23:56:42 UTC

Chapter 1

Rainbow Dash walked down the rural streets with a scowl on her face.  She was aggravated by the situation she was currently in.  Not only was she on a mission given by ‘Princess Twilight,’ to document a new world for her to research, but she was given a body that apparently needed clothes all the time.  So now an aggravated Rainbow Dash walked the rural streets, looking for a home that doesn’t look like it is owned by a family of sixteen.

The last home she was in had a woman that let her stay, but swiftly kicked her out when she realized Rainbow was cognitive enough to understand she did not have amnesia, nor was a rape victim when she showed up at her door stark-naked.  She assumed Rainbow’s strange and clueless personality could be a side effect of amnesia.

Maria believed the name Rainbow Dash was a clue to her past life, or a slave name that a human trafficker gave her.  Of course, the awkwardness of realizing that being naked was socially unacceptable allowed her to keep the clothes she was given by Maria her new friend.

To top it all off, today was a very ugly, cloudy day.  Rainbow’s experience with the weather told her that those were rain clouds.  They looked lighter than they would in Equestria, so naturally Rainbow miscalculated the amount of time she should be outside.  Without warning a drop of water hit Rainbow’s head and made her look up in disbelief.

“SERIOUSLY!” she shouted to the heavens.

She looked around the immediate area for a middle-class home-or any home-that will be able to house her for the night.  Rainbow continued to ignore the rain that was beginning to let down a torrent of water, and walked up to a tan one story house and rang the doorbell.

“We don’t want any!” an old male voice came from inside.

“Hey I need a place to stay!” Rainbow retorted.

“Go find a box, yah free loader!” yelled the old man inside.

Rainbow huffed in anger and continued on to the next house with a growing scowl on her face, and increasing rainfall in the sky.

The rain began to pelt the roof of a two story middle class home.  The man inside said home was a freelance artist who likes to draw only what he wants.  He signed a few contracts with a new business to design a logo for them.  He was on his computer working on it with Photoshop, using advanced settings to get it juuuust right.  He was taking advantage of the Channel Mixers to abuse the saturation of certain colors.  Slowly, he made the logo he was creating a pinkish color.  He then darkened it with saturation to make it a bloody, dark red.  He left the layer as it was and created a new one for a new shape in the logo.

He loved making logos for new companies.  Especially the new guys.  You could easily get them to sign a contract to give you money each time they use that logo.  He’s been doing  it for seven years now and he knew the art industry like the back of his hand.  Thanks to his years of experience, he was able to convince at least thirteen businesses to give him money while he sits there doing nothing at all.  Of course this was really only good for a long term annual income, as it can’t be lived off of.  He spends most of his time creating other forms of art for magazines and books.

When an artist is working hard on something he or she loves, they become numb to the world.  Every artist at times would forget everything they were supposed to do when they start painting or sculpting.  This artist was no different as he slaves away on his Mac using Photoshop to create a logo for the new business.  He had a PC next to the Mac on the office table that both machines shared.  The PC was for games and projects he would do, that required a stronger computer.  The Mac can’t exactly do everything an artist wants all the time.

He yawned loudly and realized the time.  His senses began to refocus on the real world and he became cognizant of the pitter patter of heavy rain on the roof of his home.  He looked around the small office where he would make computer generated art work.  The room was dark and the blinds were closed.

He stood up and walked over to a nearby lamp, he turned it on and watched the lamp flood the room with orange light.  He became aware of his state and felt thrust in the dryness of his mouth, and hunger at the emptiness of his stomach.

He faced the door of the small office and stepped forward.  He gripped the doorknob and turned it to the right while pushing it open.  He stepped into the hallway and walked forward.

He was now in a small hallway with five doors.  At his right was the door to a guest bedroom and behind him was the office.  Across the hall was the door to the bathroom.  To the left of that door was actually his Art Studio, where he creates portraits with a paintbrush and at times concept art with graphite pencils.  He walked forward until he was in the middle of the hallway.  To his right was the stairs that goes down to the front door, and to his left was a door to the master bedroom.

He went downstairs and faced the door.  To his right was the living room and dining room that took up a large length of the house.  To his left was a small office where he kept his paintings and a hallway that leads into the kitchen.  The kitchen itself connects to the family room where a large flat screen TV with surround sound existed.

He wasted no time in going to the kitchen.  Once down the hall he took a left to face the fridge.  Opening it, he found that it needed to be filled up once again.  All he had was some leftovers from yesterday’s dinner and spinach casserole.  Of course, rather than eating the casserole now, he picked out the leftovers.  It was quick to reheat, so he could get back to work faster.

The young artist popped his leftover lasagna into the microwave and let it warm for three minutes.  While he waited he walked over to the window and looked outside into the pouring rain.  Any other human being would see a terrible cloudy day.  But to any regular artist, it represented sadness or rage.  Like the heavens themselves wept because of sadness, or the sky thundered because it was angry.  But to this artist, he believed someone was simply sad or angry somewhere close.

And they were mad at the rain.

*CRACK*

“Someone must be upset.” he mused to himself quietly.

*CRACK*

“BUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!” Rainbow Dash wailed at the sky in anger.

Her day has only gone from bad to worse.  She not only was kicked out of every house she knocked on, but she was called a whore by everyone who answered, especially after she told them her name.  Apparently her clothing was too tight and some had the gall to say it was a striper’s name.  Everyone said things like or even similar to ‘We don’t house whores in this neighborhood’ and slammed the door on her face.

Rainbow Dash was coming up on the next home when she saw an oddity among the single story homes a block away.  She saw a black roof with white walls that seemingly towered over all the other homes she approached previously.  Rainbow got it in her head that whoever lived there must be upper or middle class and might possibly let her stay.  Despite the snobby attitudes of the rich in Equestria, they were always sympathetic toward the ones without homes, and would offer bits when they have them.

“Well most of them.” Rainbow scuffed to herself.

She abandoned the driveway she was strutting up to and took off at an athlete’s jogging pace toward the two story building.  She was several meters from the home and she could clearly see the grass was not only greener, but the home was newer than the surrounding buildings.  She assumed whoever currently lived there must have had it remodeled before moving in.  She felt bad for that rich human who lives in a poor neighborhood.  He must be robbed regularly.

Rainbow slowed to a regular jog as she came up on the home.  The middle class house was on the other side of the street so Rainbow Dash did what Maria told her to do and looked both ways before crossing.

She learned early on exactly what a car could do to another human if they got hit.  When Maria went to take her shopping, they witnessed someone getting hit by a car.  The police pulled them into the station to get their account of the stories.  Rainbow’s particular grammar confused them but ignored it as Maria told them she had a mental illness that Rainbow still doesn’t know the name of.  They went home because the mall was closed by the time the police were done with them.

Rainbow checked the road and jogged across the street when she saw the coast was clear.  She reached the driveway and barely slowed down as she hopped onto the porch with a lifesaving roof that kept the rain at bay.  She frantically knocked on the door, hoping that the one who answers would be her savior from the cold air and relentless rain.

*CRACK*

The artist continued eating lasagna with a smile on his face.  He calmly chewed his food with a content smile on his face.  He was simply enjoying his regular uneventful day.  He noticed that the room began to light up and he turned around.  Looking out the window, he saw it was still raining, but there was light coming through the window.

With a smile on his face, he got up and rushed toward the window and looked up at the sky.  For a brief five seconds, he saw a wonderful rainbow that was the result of a hole in the clouds.  He silently cursed himself for not having his camera plugged in as he looked up at the heavens.  He watched the rainbow for a few moments before he got an idea.

He stepped away from the window and looked at his empty plate.  He quickly put the plate and fork in the dishwasher and did a slow jog down the hallway.  He rushed up the stairs with enthusiasm and took a right when he made it to the top.  He rushed down the hall and into the room on his right.  He opened it quickly and looked around the art room with many different paintings.  He frowned when he realized that the room didn’t have any windows that faced the sun.

He lightened his mood by deciding to relocate the one item he wanted to use the most.  There was a bucket of water on the floor next to the window and he smiled to himself as he approached it.

“There you are.” He said to himself while picking up the bucket of water.

The bucket served no practical purpose in the room.  There was no hole in the ceiling for the bucket to collect the water from.  The water wasn’t dirty from cleaning brushes either.  But for this artist, it made his career as a freelance artist.  This bucket was in a picture that he drew by hand, and it was bought for one million for the quality of the piece itself.  The artist carefully picked it up, so no water will get on any portraits he made.

He remembered the other object he wanted to grab.  He carefully put the bucket down in the hallway and walked back into the art studio.  He looked by the table on his right and saw the small Tesla Coil he bought on auction, before he became well known.  It was small enough to not only fit through the door but to also fit in a picture.  The Coil was also small enough for him to hold with one hand.

He unplugged it from the wall and tucked it under his arm with enough pressure on it so it wouldn’t fall out from under his arm.  He walked out of the room into the hallway where the bucket stood upright and filled with water.  He grabbed it with both hands to pick it up and continue his journey.

He carefully, but swiftly walked back into the hallway and down the stairs.  He reached the bottom and took a left down that hallway and into the kitchen.  He placed the bucket in front of the open window and took the Tesla Coil out from under his arm.  He unplugged the coffee maker and plugged in the Tesla Coil.  He angled the coil so it would point toward the bucket of water by the window, but also so it wouldn’t touch the wall.

Without much thought he turned it on and watched the small sparks fly out of the end with a buzzing noise.  He smiled to himself and looked out the window again for the rainbow.  He saw it in a different place as the wind moved the clouds.  He then became subconsciously aware of the ionized air in the room.  He wasted no time in starting his project.

He closed his eyes and began to concentrate on the ionized air.  The aggressive buzzing of the Tesla Coil drowned out the sound of the pounding rain on the walls and roof of his two story home.  He began to feel a familiar tingling sensation all around his body, as he absorbed the ions the Tesla Coil was pumping out.  He opened his eyes and fixed his gaze at the bucket while simultaneously reaching out to it with his spirit.

Then the incredible happened.  The water began to move upward in a snail’s pace up and out of the bucket.  The artists’ concentration was centered on getting the ions that were absorbed in his body to move to the water and pull it up like it was a part of his body.

A very liquid-like and difficult to move part of his body.

The water slowly rose up to the point that gravity was beginning to win over his spiritual strength, and he had to let some water trickle down to contact the bucket and use it as a support.  The skin of the water helped the artist pull it together so it still held a shape but continued to get thinner and rise.  The water reached the same height as the center of the window and the light from the opening in the sky reached the water.

Refracted light hit the ground and created a distorted shape of a water drop on the ground.  Disappointed, the artist let the water go back into the bucket as he decreased the force he was placing on it.  He guided the water back into the bucket without difficulty, due to years of experience.  He solemnly turned off the Tesla Coil and the ions began to dissipate and leak out of the house.  At the same time, the rainbow disappeared and the room was flooded with the sad light of a cloudy day.

The artist reflected on his strange actions.  Not of the fact he manipulated water with ions, but the reason why he thought that the rainbow would change something of the refraction of water.

He has yet to find out how to create a rainbow without creating many drops of water at once.  Putting it in practice to hold up several droplets of water is beyond difficult for him.  Even with more ions.  Just trying to hold up so many water droplets at once put up too much mental pressure on him and he got a headache.

“But why did this feel different?” he mused to the bucket.

He was so sure that there was something about that light that came through the window was different than regular light.  He knows it’s not possible to create a rainbow from the bucket of water he had.  The water was regular water, but it wasn’t droplets or vapor.  The water was joined and whole.  But the light itself bugged him the most.

His thought process was interrupted from brisk knocks on his front door.

“Anypony home!”

He quickly walked over to the hallway and headed down it at a brisk pace.  He grabbed the door handle and opened it with a smile on his face.  A smile that he lost quickly and was replaced by a quizzical expression as he looked upon the figure shivering at his door.

A young woman with rainbow hair and a blue shirt that was one size too small for her.  She had tight blue jeans that were cut in several places around her knee.  Her blue t-shirt was so soaked that you could see through the fabric.  He noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra and he tried to not look at her chest, because of how revealing she was.

“Hello?” he asked.

“C-can you help me?  I need a place to stay for the night.” replied the rainbow--haired girl.

“Sure come in.” he stated, moving aside for her to walk in.

She walked in without another word and looked around real quick.  She looked back at me expectantly.  Possibly waiting for questions to be asked.

“So what’s your name?” he asked.

“Rainbow Dash.” she answered.  Immediately after she said it, she winced to herself.

“Rainbow Dash?” the artist repeated quizzically.

“Uh yeah, that’s my name.” she replied, backing up for an inevitable thought she knew would come up in his mind.

“Rainbow Dash?  That sounds like some sort of stripper name.” the artist thought to himself.

“Ok, before you throw me out, I’m not a stripper or a prostitute.” Rainbow defended suddenly.

“Uh, I didn’t say you were.” he responded.

“Yeah well that’s what everyp-one says before they kick me out.” Rainbow remarked with a scowl.

“So everyone assumed she was a prostitute.  I could see why.  She doesn’t even try to hide her semi exposed breasts from anyone.  Maybe she’s oblivious to the fact that I can see them.” the artist thought to himself.

“Well Rainbow, I can see why they would think that.  You probably don’t know this, but I can see through your shirt.”

“Wait, what does seeing through my shirt mean?” she asked quizzically.

“Really?” he gave her a disappointed look.  “Ok where are you from?” he asked with legitimate curiosity.

“Uh, a place called-uh-Canerda.” Rainbow answered him nervously.

“Canerda?  Ok whoever she is she’s culturally unaware.  I assume she’s delusional but she doesn’t... look crazy.  She sounds sober.  Definitely not on LSD, because she would be talking to something other than me.  And she doesn’t smell like anything other than wet girl, so she’s not on something.  Ok, her arms don’t have any needle marks.  UGH, what the hell am I doing?  She’s been out in the rain for lord knows how long.  Regardless of her mental state, she needs help.” the artist smiled and cleared his head of judgmental thoughts.

“You mean Canada don’t you?” he asked with a soft smile.

“Y-yeah, that place.” she replied nervously.

“I don’t believe you, but I’m willing to let you stay for as long as you need.” he gave her a warm smile. “Come on, let’s get you a towel.” he motioned up the stairs and started ascending.

Rainbow watched him head up stairs with a perplexed gaze.  By now, she would have been cussed out or kicked out.  She brought herself back to the real world before he got too far.  She caught up with him at the top of the stairs.  He took a right toward the door on the end of the hallway.  He walked forward and pushed open the door to show a bathroom.

Rainbow looked around the bathroom with mild interest, considering it was the second one she’s ever seen.  The artist grabbed an extra towel from the drawer under the sink and wrapped it around Rainbow Dash.

“Thanks.” stated Rainbow.  “Hey do you have any spare clothes for me?”

“No I don’t, actually.  Want something to eat?” he asked her.

“Yeah, I’m pretty hungry.  I’ve been searching for a place to stay ever since this morning.” Rainbow responded.

“Ok come on, follow me.” he stated.

Rainbow complied and he walked over to the other side of the hallway and opened the door on the left.  Rainbow looked inside and was confused.

“Uh that’s a bedroom.” she noted.

“Yeah, that’s where you’ll be staying.  I’m just showing you so you know where it is.” he responded.

“All right then.  Uh you’re not uhh-you know.” Rainbow looked away with a blush on her face.

“Uh what?”

“Well you know… hitting on me?” she asked with a worried expression.

“Just 'cuz I show you the bedroom doesn’t mean I want you.  Why would you think that?” he asked.

“Well Maria said that guys might try to take advantage of me because I don’t know much about anything.  Or something like that.”

“Well if I wanted sex, then I’d probably just straight up ask you.” Rainbow blushed when he said ‘sex’ and avoided eye contact.

The artist rolled his eyes and smiled. “Yeah, I’m the most shameless person you’ll ever meet.” he gave her a warm smile. “I’ll ask any question I want to know the answer to.  I’m also not afraid to express my opinion.”

“Ok.” Rainbow seemed convinced.  “S-so Maria said that p-pretty girls are usually the ones that…” Rainbow hesitated. “Get raped.  S-so…am I pretty?”

The artist took that question in stride.  Where he grew up the concept of rape was just that, a concept.  He grew up in the best neighborhood south of Chicago in the suburbs.  There was only one gang shooting that he ever heard of near the neighborhood he lived in, but no one died.  In fact that was the most violent thing that has ever happened in a ten mile radius from his childhood home.  He fell in love with art and people a long time ago.  His love for people turned him into a self-proclaimed missionary, and he moved to a neighborhood that needed kindness.

But despite his attempts to get people to open up and trust each other.  They only went as far as trusting him.  His next door neighbors trust each other after a bit of convincing and a get together.  So now they help him get to know other people in the neighborhood, when they have the time.  But he heard from those immediate neighbors that there were a few rape cases just down the block.

“Well umm, Rainbow right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well you are pretty.  But you’re not sexy.  I wouldn’t worry about a deliberate assault against you at this point.  But there are a few cases of rape in this neighborhood, so you should be careful if you go outside.” he warned her.

“Ok thanks.” she replied solemnly.  “You don’t mind if I live here do you?”

“No.  I do expect you to get a job and help pay for your stay at some point.  But I won’t kick you out if you can’t find one.” he thought for a moment. “Do you have any family that can get you?”

Rainbow looked at the floor. “No…my dad’s in anothe-” Rainbow stopped herself. “Never mind.”

The artist paused, then nodded his head and accepted that Rainbow didn’t want to talk about it.  He walked around her and headed down stairs.  Rainbow followed him to all the way down to the kitchen.  Rainbow idly rubbed the dry towel around her body and began to dry off.  She looked around at the dull, but welcoming walls and minor décor around the rooms she passed by.

They reached the kitchen and Rainbow looked around for something to eat.  She saw some strange organic material on the counter in the open air.  She looked at it oddly before the human spoke up.

“So, how did you get here?” he inquired to her.

“Uh, that’s hard to explain.” Rainbow responded.

“Ok.  Want some lasagna?” he asked.

“Is there meat in it?”

“Yes.”

“Then no, I’m a vegetarian.” Rainbow replied looking around the room.

Her eyes fell onto the Tesla Coil and then the bucket of water next to it.

“Uh, do you have a leaky ceiling?” she asked, completely dismissing the oddity of the Tesla Coil as normal in this strange new world.

“No, that’s just…” he paused. “There.” he finished lamely.

Rainbow gave him an unimpressed look. “That’s not a very good excuse.”

“Nor is saying you’re from Canada.” the artist deadpanned.

“W-who said that was an excuse?” Rainbow shot back warily.

“Canada is a neighboring country.  And I know more about Canadians than you probably do.” he gave her a knowing smile.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yea.  What’s their flag look like?” he asked her with a perceptive gaze.

“Got her.” He thought to himself.

Rainbow looked increasingly nervous.  She looked around the room for a few hints and her eyes fell on the window.  More specifically a small clay bird that was given to me by an art friend from college.

“Uh, a bird?”

“Nope, now I’m not going to question where you’re actually from, because it’s obvious to me you don’t want to tell me.  But know that when you’re staying in my home, you need to pull your weight.  Such as laundry, cleaning, or even just answering the phone while I’m working on my art.”

“Phone?” she asked.

“…I’m going to need to hold your hand for this aren’t I?” the artist asked rhetorically.

“Uhhhhhhhhhh...” Rainbow fidgeted nervously.

“Don’t answer that.” he added quickly.

He walked over to the fridge and opened it up.  Only to remember that it was for the most part barren.  Spinach Casserole was the only thing left other than some sauces that didn’t even go with it.  Not that he used sauces on Spinach Casserole anyway.  So he had to give her what he had.  He grabbed the Spinach Casserole from the fridge and placed it on the counter.

“Hey, I didn’t catch your name.” Rainbow asked finally.

The human smiled and spoke, “Stan Garfield.”

“Stan Garfield?  That’s a weird name.” Rainbow commented.

“So is Rainbow…” Stan blanked. “What was the last part again?”

“Dash.” she replied.

“Rainbow Dash.” Stan repeated the name to remember.  “Ok, I think I got that.  Easy enough.”

“Who in their right mind calls their child Stan?” Rainbow commented. “Well the name is kinda griffon-y.” she whispered silently to herself.

Unbeknownst to her, Stan heard it.  He chose to leave it as is and put the sentence down as a mental note for later questions when he knows more about the girl.  Stan walked to a knife rack and grabbed a sharp one.  He walked over to a cabinet and took out a plate for Rainbow Dash.  He placed the plate down and cut out a small slice for Rainbow Dash and placed it on the plate.  He went over and rinsed off the knife and then dried it with a towel and placed it back into the knife rack.

He looked back at Rainbow Dash who was patiently waiting for a fork.  He complied and found one in a cupboard somewhere close.  He handed the hilt of the fork to her and she took it in her palm.  She started stabbing the Casserole like a two year old and placing it in her mouth trying to look like she knew what she was doing.

“Just wow.” Stan stated out loud and started laughing.

“What?” replied an irritated Rainbow Dash.

“Nothing.” Stan deflected. “I’ll be in my office.  Make sure to not eat all of the Casserole before dinner.  If you need anything, find the room upstairs that’s full of computers.  If I’m not there, then I’m in the Art Studio.”

Rainbow tilted her head questionably, but straightened it and nodded her head.  Opting to not speak with her mouth full.  Stan smiled at her and headed off down the hallway.

“Well at least she has manners.  I hope she doesn’t walk out in the night with any of my stuff.  Actually I should grab the Tesla Coil and bucket and place it back in the Studio.” With that thought Stan turned around and headed back into the kitchen.

“I-I don’t know Twi, he’s nicer than the other humans, but he wants me to help around the house while I stay.” Rainbow was talking to herself, or holding a conversation with an invisible person.

Stan suddenly felt grateful that his office was cold and he decided to put on socks this morning, because of it.  He silently made his way back into the kitchen.  Rainbow was facing away from him and miraculously already finished off the plate of food.  She continued to speak while unaware that her host that stood behind her.

“Look Twi, I know you want me to get a kind human but…” she realized she was talking a bit loudly.

Stan quickly moved to her right, just predicting her movement was a simple task.  She looked over her left shoulder at the doorway Stan was just at a second ago and looked back at her empty plate.  Stan returned behind her so she didn’t have a chance to see him out of her peripherals.

Rainbow continued in a hushed tone. “Wait, what?” she paused, presumably letting the other person speak.

Her hand motions didn’t indicate she had a device she was manipulating.  In fact they were folded in front of her.  She seemed to be listening to whoever she was talking to.

“From what I gather, she thinks she’s not human.  I should look out for anything alien-y.  Then again she has literally no knowledge of human culture.  I guess I don’t have to worry about her taking a Tesla Coil if she’s an alien and only wants information.  I should keep listening.” Stan thought to himself.

“Well, he didn’t kick me out.  He didn’t cuss me out.” Rainbow got more irritated. “Or call me a whore.” Her irritation increased. “And a slut.  Also he didn’t threaten to call the police.  By the way, that’s what they call guards here.” Rainbow stated, forgetting to lower her voice and she was talking normally.

“Actually, he’s kinda nice.  He figured out that Canada wasn’t really where I was from pretty quickly and still let me stay… what?  No I haven’t told him anything… Canada is a country.  Not the one I’m in now, this place is called America or something.”  Rainbow looked bored.  “Yeah, I know.  I’ll ask him how humans give out food later… no I’m not going to say distribute… Twilight…” Rainbow began to look bewildered.

“Seriously?  I’m not going to ask him about mating habits.” Rainbow groaned in frustration.

Stan decided it was best to interrupt her conversation with this Twilight.  But he had to plan it well so she doesn’t react badly.  He did, however, have half a mind to tie her up and interrogate her, but that was not only a dumb idea but also pointless.  Rainbow trusted him to some degree and Stan didn’t want to break that trust.  He was probably one of the few humans in this area with this kind of understanding.

Sure there are humans around the world that may be even more trusting that him.  But not many just as accepting.  In fact he’s letting an unknown in his home and letting her eat his food.  Stan smiled warmly toward the rainbow-haired woman and got lost in his thoughts.

“Ugh fine.  I’ve actually already asked him about rape.  I guess I can try to use that to change the topic to relationships or something.” Rainbow paused to listen to her friend. “Yeah, I feel weird in this body… no it’s not the clothes.  But there’s something that makes me want to be around guys you know?”  Rainbow paused for a moment. “Hormones?” she asked her invisible friend with worry.

Stan smiled and shook his head.  He almost let out a snort from the ridiculousness of her cluelessness.  She couldn’t even understand her own body.  Stan quickly made the connection that Rainbow wanted to get more physical with him, but didn’t know she wanted to.  Humans do have a weird year round fertility rate.  It’s not too terribly uncommon for a guy or a girl to just have sex when they’re friends.  But Stan wasn’t sure he’d want to satisfy the needs of a space alien.  Or even an escaped delusional mental patient.

“Well, he has brown hair on the top of his head.  Not as long as mine or Maria’s.  He has… I think brown eyes?  I don’t know; I didn’t get a good enough look.  But I think they were dark.  He is also taller than me.  I think he’s older too, but I don’t know how much.” she struggled to remember more about me.

Stan desperately wanted to join in the conversation.  He was also curious about the origins of his house guest so he remained silent.

“No I don’t know any more about him.” she stated looking back at the plate in front of her.

“Oh shit.” Stan thought, knowing what was coming next.

He make his escape through the hallway door and walked down the hallway, just in time to hear the sliding of a chair in the kitchen.  He then calmly walked back into the kitchen where Rainbow Dash looked at him with a shocked expression for a moment but composed herself.

“Uh, 'sup?”

“Hey.  Just grabbing the bucket and the coil.” Stan replied to Rainbow.

“Ok.” Rainbow responded.

She walked over to the dishwasher and placed the plate inside next to the other dirty dishes.  Stan went around the counter and grabbed the Tesla Coil.  Tucking it under his arm, he went over to the bucket.  He picked up the bucket of water and headed back down the hallway out of the kitchen.  Rainbow put away the casserole in the fridge and watched him leave.

“Yeah, sorry Twi.  Stan just walked in… oh that’s his name… no he’s gone now.” Rainbow paused.  “Yeah, his eyes are actually a dark green grey mix.  It’s not like Maria, who had brown eyes.”