"My lord, we seem to be anticipating another storm from the east."
"What? How is this possible?"
"We aren't sure. The clouds had seemed to stop coming but our scouts have located a couple of clouds on their way."
The king stepped down from his throne, angrily pacing about the palace. "Another storm! But we have already celebrated the clear skies! This is absolute hogwash! We spend more than two thirds of every year plagued by storms and clouds, the only season we have clear skies for is winter and even then it is too cold to do anything and snow still plagues our lands. These wretched clouds need to be destroyed!"
"But, my lord," said the servant, "We cannot destroy the clouds, we cannot even get near them."
"Then we need to destroy whatever is sending them to us!"
The servant chuckled. "My lord, everyone knows that the wind pushes the clouds to us."
"Well then where does the wind come from!"
"The wind seems to come from the east. That is why the clouds are always above our lands."
"Than we must find who is making this wind and destroy them."
The servant chuckled once again. "You cannot destroy the wind, my lord."
"I assure you, my loyal servant, that whoever is responsible for these clouds and rain will be terminated. Gather the soldiers."
The servant stopped chuckling. "You cannot be serious!"
The king stared at the servant.
"Oh,um, my lord."
Appeased the lord continued. "I am very serious. For decades we have suffered the unholy torrents that these clouds bring us, but no longer! We shall rise as a kingdom and annihilate the source of these clouds. Gather the army, we march east at sunset."
"But... but that's in two hours, my lord." The servant mentally prepared plans for a military coup in the near future, marking the current king as completely insane.
The king made his way to a map of Equestria that rested on a table in the middle of the room, an incomplete map.
"Yes, we will march east and find what lies beyond the blackness of this map."
The king placed a paw on the map in the area marked "unknown".
"We will find you," he whispered.
"My lord, do you still want the army to be prepared in the next two hours?" asked the servant.
"Yes!" yelled the king, "Get them in formation and outside the palace by sunset, go now!"
The servant nodded and quickly exited the palace, on his way to alert the generals of the impending invasion. The king looked out the grand windows that adorned the palace walls, staring at the clouds that slowly approached from the east. They seemed to come methodically, one after another, each one gray.
"Not this time," he whispered, closing his eyes. "This is where it ends."
He placed a paw on the window, solemnly bowing his head. He waited there, deep in thought, while outside the squabble of the army slowly grew. News of the end of the storms had spread throughout the towns, and with the hysteria of being free of the storms running rampant many volunteered to come on the journey and put an end to the suffering.
The army seemed to have tripled that day, with more and more showing up by the minute.
When the king opened his eyes, he looked out the window only to see waves and waves of his subjects, all waiting patiently for orders. It was unlike anything he had ever seen, all of them coming together. He took a deep breath, his eyes set on the impending storm aimed toward his nation. For decades upon decades the people had simply accepted that the rain was natural, that the storms were unstoppable. But back then the kingdom was under different management. The colonies could not move, for there were no other known terrains that could house and feed the growing population. This land was all they knew, even if it entailed inclement weather for more than two thirds of the year.
Every year was the same. Throughout the summer and fall rain would cover the lands for most of the days, with only a handful of clear skies parsed throughout. Then, right before winter started, there would be an exponential amount of more clear skies, but every storm they had seemed to carry snow. Either way, it was too cold to do anything and crops wouldn't grow, so the season was a waste, anyways. Then, every year, right before spring started, the damn torrential downpours would come. EVERY. DAMN. YEAR. Same time, almost exactly the same date every time, same type of storm, same amount of clouds coming in. And this would carry out to through the spring, rain all day and night and rarely any sort of opening in the blanket of grey depression. Winter used to be the season with clear skies, but with the impending clouds during the one time they could be relieved of the storms, the last straw had been pulled.
The kind turned from the window and made his way to the door. As he exited through the massive wooden doors to greet his loyal army and subjects, he whispered beneath his breath:
"Tonight, we march, and tomorrow, we rid our suffering."
A cheer emanated from the crowd louder than had ever been made before. The king smiled as he stood above his subjects, the frantic applause and cheering from the army drowning out any other sounds. The kind raised a paw and almost instantaneously the energetic crowd quieted.
When the crowd was silent, the king waited for the ambiance to set in, for everyone to simply bask in the silence for a moment. Then he spoke.
"This is where the storms end!"
The crowd erupted, and the king pointed forward. The unholy march had begun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Welp, that's the last of em."
"Are you sure?"
"Yup. I'll have to teach you how to do this eventually, huh?"
"Don't remind me, I already have enough to do and learn. Why are you even doing it this early anyway?"
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to get a head start for this years Winter Wrap Up. I figure that since last year we had trouble meeting the deadline I'd clear up some parts of the sky beforehoof, make things a little easier later."
Twilight sighed. "I suppose there's no harm. But leave some of the clouds for the wrap up, it's part of the tradition and we can't have completely clear skies for when we get together to clean up, and you've been working since yesterday, you should take a break."
"No worries!" said Rainbow Dash, "I'm only cleaning up the parts of the sky that gave us the most trouble last year. There will be plenty of clouds left, promise."
Rainbow Dash put on her "I am most definitely telling the truth" smile and waited for Twilight to sigh and trot away. She went back to the sky, tending to the larger clumps of clouds. She kicked them and flew through them, but usually just blew them away from Ponyville. The sky slowly cleared up, rays of sunlight marking small circles on the ground. As time went on, Rainbow Dash continued to blow the clouds out of the sky, the warning that Twilight had given out of her mind. Slowly but surely, the sky cleared out and the circles melded together.
Meanwhile, Twilight returned to her library to attend to more important matters than the weather. Princess Celestia, caught up in larger responsibilities, had assigned Twilight new, more difficult tasks to complete as a result of her coronation. As a princess, Twilight not only had to tend to the matters of Ponville but take on a slew of new responsibilities that Celestia would not dare assign a meager student.
Twilight growled as she approached the mounds of books that she had to read, along with the mounds of work that had to be completed, cursing the difficulties that being a princess entailed. For every benefit came another reason to hate being entitled so much power and responsibility. Yet, it was her destiny and she had come to accept it. Being a princess could be fun at times, too.
A large book flipped open as it was levitated to a nearby table.
"Memory removal spell," she read, "Yet to be finished."
She turned the page. Then another. And another.
"How many spells does Celestia think I can finish!" she yelled. Spike looked down at Twilight from his bed, but upon seeing her rampant complaining and anger he sulked back under the blanket and put on some earmuffs.
"Focus Twilight, just do it one at a time." Twilight took in a deep breath and let her worries leave her body as she exhaled.
"Memory removal spell," she said once again, "Easy enough."
Her horn lit up as she read the incantations on the page. At a certain point, the words simply stopped with no warning. The spell already in motion, Twilight had no choice but to ad lib what she expected to be there.
Nothing happened. Twilight sighed, taking a look at the spell once again.
"This makes no sense," she said, "How would I even know if the spell works?"
"Twilight!" called a voice.
"It's open!" she responded.
The door creaked open, and through it trotted in Applejack, who took off her hat as she entered. Twilight went to greet her, but her worried frown and scared eyes didn't welcome one.
"Ah don't mean to disturb ya," she started, "But there appears to be some sort of an army coming this way."
Twilight's eyes widened.
"Let's go."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight trotted frantically through the streets, warning ponies of the impending danger, advising them to stay inside until further notice. Her five companions followed closely in tow, Rainbow Dash flying overhead and making sure they didn't miss anypony.
"When did you first spot them?" asked Twilight.
"Well, ah saw a lot of dust coming from far off, looked like a large group of something coming this way. Thought I should warn you, being a princess and all." Applejack pointed in the direction where she had seen the horde.
The ponies finished their round of Ponyville and then made their way to the outskirts of town. As they approached the border, where civilization met the plains and wilderness, the massive army that was approaching became apparent. And they were close. The ponies stood atop a large hill, looking down at the waves of whatever it was. They were difficult to see through all the dust, dust that had been kicked up on purpose to provide cover. All that could be discerned was that there were a lot of them.
Twilight stood tall on the hill, wings spread, awaiting them to come close enough. She planned to meet them at ground level and speak to their leader, figure out what they wanted. One of the first lessons that Princess Celestia had taught about ruling was that all conflicts should be attempted to be solved diplomatically first. If that didn't work, bribery was the second option. Or was that a joke? Twilight couldn't remember if Celestia had laughed after saying that or if she had said it seriously.
"Twilight, they're getting awfully close," said Fluttershy, who cowered behind the other five ponies. She had practically dragged herself along out of fear of being left alone without her friends, a fear which outweighed her fear of getting involved with the conflict.
"Let's go down to meet them," said Twilight. As a princess, it was her duty, and she wasn't going to let Princess Celestia think that she couldn't handle a conflict.
The ponies quickly galloped down the hill and came onto the flat ground. The clouds of dust swirled above them. By now, the army was practically there.
Twilight looked forth at the massive group in awe. All the ponies stopped dead in their tracks, staring at the army. It was an army of
"Bunnies?"
Twilight smirked, and the other ponies started to giggle. Waves of white fluff covered the plains, the bunny king standing in front. He wore a cute little crown that went around his big ears.
The bunny king started to angrily squeak, making Twilight and the other ponies laugh even harder.
"Fluttershy," croaked Twilight between breaths,"Tell me what he's saying."
Fluttershy nodded and trotted over to the bunnies, who apprehensively stood up and prepared to fight. Introducing herself Fluttershy sat down in front of the bunny army and smiled.
"What can we do for you cute little fellas?" she asked.
"We demand to speak with who is in charge!" yelled the bunny king.
His voice was high pitched and squeaky, like that of a small filly, only much more adorable.
Twilight rolled over onto her side, dying of laughter at the cute little squeaking noises that were coming out of the leader of a massive military. The other ponies joined her, having laughing fits.
The king bunny impatiently watched the ponies roll on the ground laughing.
"They want to talk to Twilight," said Fluttershy.
Twilight nodded from her place on the ground, still deep in her hysterics.
"We demand to be taken seriously!" he screamed, stamping his hind feet. The bunnies behind him stood at attention and hopped into line.
"Uh, Twilight, they want to be taken seriously."
Twilight held back another wave of laughter and composed herself.
She stood up, wiping a tear from her eye. Realizing that it was poor manners to laugh at leaders of sovereign nations, Twilight regained her posture and bowed to the bunny king.
"I am Princess Twilight, leader of this town. What brings you to Ponyville? What is you name?"
Fluttershy relayed the message between the two.
"We are here from our homeland on a journey to destroy the wind and obliterate whoever is making the wretched clouds that plague our land, also my name is Meredith," said the bunny.
Twilight held back another giggle. "Destroy the wind? Why would you want to do that? And nopony makes the clouds, they just come and go."
The bunny king stood up on his hind legs. "The wind has been pushing clouds into our nation for decades, and we have cloudy skies for most of the year, with rarely any sunlight except in the winter. We can barely keep our nation alive at this rate. So we are looking to find the creator of the wind and destroy them. Do you know where we could find them?"
Even Fluttershy could barely relay the message without chuckling a small bit. Twilight guffawed at the question.
"Nopony makes the wind, silly!"
The bunny king stamped his hind legs once more. "Then where are the clouds coming from?"
"Oo, oo, I know, maybe it's because the pegasi are always blowing them away from Ponyville!" yelled Pinkie Pie.
"Pinkie Pie, why would you say that," scowled Twilight, "Do you want to provoke these guys?"
"Squeak squeak, squeak squeaka squeak." Fluttershy smiled.
The bunny king looked as though he were about to explode of anger. Twilight stared at Fluttershy in disbelief.
"Why would you translate what Pinkie Pie said?!" she yelled.
Fluttershy shrugged. "I wasn't really paying attention, I was just translating."
Twilight watched as the small bunny angrily squeaked and shook his front paws and pounded his hind legs into the ground, hopping to and fro every now and then.
"What's he saying now?" asked Twilight.
"He said that, and excuse my language but I want to translate it word for word, he is going to 'shit burning fury upon our forsaken souls, obliterate every last pegasus in existence, and enslave our putrid, subservient race and anally force us to live with with seven thousand years of constant rain'."
Twilight nodded. "Interesting. Interesting. Tell them to do it."
"Excuse me Twilight?"
"Tell them to do it. Dare them to. No, better, double dog dare them to."
Rainbow Dash raised a hoof, "Tell them that I'm the one who's sending the clouds."
"But.. but why would you tell them those things?" asked Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy, look at this guy," said Twilight, her horn lighting up. Meredith was lifted up into the air, his incessant squeaking becoming 200% louder and 500% faster. "Do you really think we need to be afraid of these cute little rabbits?"
"Well, right now he's swearing all of our slow painful deaths and using a lot of words I don't know the meaning of."
"Come on Fluttershy, you have a bunny for a pet, these little guys can't do a thing. Ask him what he wants."
Fluttershy nodded and relayed the message.
"What do we want?" said Meredith, "Less storms! Less clouds! More clear skies!"
The list rambled on, restating his hate of clouds over and over again. Fluttershy translated the message to Twilight.
"I suppose that as princess of Ponyville, I can cut back how many clouds we send away and in that direction. Rainbow Dash, do you think you could send clouds in other directions, maybe spread it out a little bit."
"I could try," said Rainbow Dash.
"Great, Fluttershy, tell this cute little ruler of his own sovereign nation that we will try our best to keep the amount of clouds being sent towards their nation down, and that we promise to keep the storms there to a minimum."
Fluttershy made a couple of noises and then listened. "Um, Twilight, he says that he wants to be compensated for the years of terrible weather."
"How much does he want?"
"He said that the only thing that will 'satiate his lust for retribution' is 'a fiery demise of our city followed by decades of nonstop rainfall' or 'carrots in equal number to the minutes they spent in torrential downpours'."
"Awww, look at the cute little rabbit using words like 'satiate' and 'retribution'. How many carrots does he want?"
The bunny held up a paw after Fluttershy translated, calculating the number in his mind. When he came to an answer, he whispered it into Fluttershy's year.
"Oh my."
"What is it?" asked Twilight.
"He wants two hundred and ten million carrots."
Twilight guffawed. "Two hundred million?"
"And ten million," Fluttershy cut in.
"Right, whatever, that's way more than we have ever produced in all of history. We can't do that!"
"Hold on let me tell him that."
"Wait Fluttershy, no!"
Meredith listened to Fluttershy for a short moment. "I see."
"Well then," he said, turning to his loyal subjects, "It appears the ponies cannot provide us with just compensation for their misdeeds. Do you know what that means?"
A hearty cheer rose through the crowd. To the ponies it just sounded like a lot of squeaking.
Meredith raised his paw to cue silence. "Alright, bunnies, since these ponies cannot provide for their wrongs, they have forced our paws. Charge!"
The bunnies rushed forth, trampling the unlucky front-liners who didn't run fast enough. Nonstop squeaks came from the horde, most of them cries for death and destruction, but still pretty adorable.
As the wave of white fluff engulfed the ponies, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash flew above them and out of reach, while the other three quickly galloped in the other direction.
"What now?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Well, Princess Celestia said that if diplomatic relations didn't work than economic sanctions and other nonviolent methods should be used."
"I don't think that's going to work."
"Yes, but she also told me in a secret room that what princesses of Equestria actually did was violently obliterate all threats, or banish them to unsavory places for an absurd amount of time instead of being peaceful. She told me the whole nonviolence thing was just a ploy to keep the citizens feeling peaceful and righteous."
"So what do we do?"
"According to Celestia, a threat to any town or city in Equestria by an outside nation should be met with obliteration of their military forces."
"So we need to fight these little bunny guys?" Rainbow Dash pointed toward the hopping bunnies, who were slowly making their way towards Ponyville.
"Well, I guess we can just put them in a bag and send them to the moon. Or encase them in stone. That's how Celestia deals with all her problems."
"Alright, how do we do that?"
"You guys round them up, I'll take care of the stoning and mooning."
"This sounds very archaic," piped Fluttershy.
"Whatever," said Twilight, pulling ahead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time the ponies arrived at Ponyville, the bunnies were still a little ways off, but moving quickly. The ponies met in the central plaza, which was deserted due to ponies hiding inside with the threat of impending war.
"So what's the game plan?" asked Applejack.
"Simple," said Twilight, "You and Rainbow Dash round up the bunnies in one place. Then, Rarity, I want you to weave some nets and Fluttershy you can carry the net in the sky and drop it on the rounded up bunnies. Pinkie Pie, I want you to, um, stay out of the way."
"Roger!" said Pinkie Pie while sitting down and freezing. She sat like a statue, unmoving.
"Okayy," said Twilight, "Finally, when a group of bunnies is rounded up and captured, I'll unleash a brutal punishment upon their unworthy souls and transport them to the moon where they will suffer thousands of years of isolated agony, or heartlessly encase them in unfeeling stone, where they will be maliciously locked away to rot for thousands of years."
"Sounds swell," said Rainbow Dash, "But how are you going to do that?"
"Why, the elements of harmony, of course," said Twilight. Spike, who had been patiently waiting on the side, pushed into the center of the circle the box that contained the elements. The six ponies put them on, Twilight making sure her crown looked good for when she banished the bunnies.
"Alright," said Twilight,"Everypony know the plan?"
The ponies all nodded, except for Pinkie Pie, who sat completely still.
"Good, and now we wait."
The ponies looked forward toward where the bunnies were coming from. They could hear the hundreds upon hundreds of cute rabbit feet hitting the ground, growing louder and louder with each step.
"Here they come," said Twilight.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash readied themselves. Twilight trotted forward, willing to be the first to fight as she was the leader.
"Get ready," said Twilight, "They're here."
The flood gates opened. Through the streets that led into the central plaza came hundreds of bunnies. They flooded the plaza, instantly hopping towards the ponies.
Twilight stood strong, her hooves in the ground and her horn already lit.
"Alright!" yelled Meredith to his troops, "This is where it ends. Formation!"
The bunnies hopped into a line and stood up on their hind legs, discontinuing their charge. The ponies stood still, unsure of what was happening.
Twilight stared at the line of bunnies that had formed in front of her.
"Now," said Meredith.
All at once, the eyes of the bunnies grew and they started to scrunch their noses. Some of them put a paw up to their ear and pat it down while they scratched themselves. Others licked their fur and used their hind legs to scratch behind their ears.
"Oh no," said Twilight, her knees becoming weak.
"Twilight what's wrong?" called Rainbow Dash.
"I'm...," said Twilight, "I'm contracting diabetes."
Rainbow Dash gasped.
"Yes," said Meredith, "It's working! Full force!"
The bunnies started to make cute little squeaking noises, their eyes pleading and wide. Twilight fell to the ground, her knees unable to take it.
"Stop," said Twilight, "I can't... handle this."
Meredith let out an evil laugh. "Get the sugar," he said.
"No." Twilight tried to stand up.
Meredith smirked.
"Get the sugar."
The other ponies watched Twilight struggle, frozen with fear. They dared not look at anything else. The bunnies gained numbers, more and more flooding into the plaza by the second, being adorable.
A couple of bunnies hopped towards Meredith carrying a bag of sugar. They took some out and hopped over to the weakened Twilight.
"Please," said Twilight, "Don't do it."
The rabbits smiled. They dumped pawfulls of sugar into her mouth, which stood agape. Twilight stood no chance. She died instantly, the diabeetus too strong.
The other ponies watched Twilight lay on the floor, motionless. Realizing that they could do nothing, they turned and galloped for an exit, but they were surrounded.
"Nnn," groaned Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow Dash, no! Look away!" yelled Applejack.
It was too late. A bunny hopped up to Rainbow Dash and pawed at his nose while wiggling it around. Rainbow Dash groaned some more.
"Yes!" shouted Meredith, "Yes! Kill the pony!"
"I...," Rainbow Dash started, "I can't take it."
She fell to the ground, suffering from a heart attack. The other ponies shielded their eyes from the bunnies. Fluttershy spread her wings and tried to take to the sky. The bunnies knew that Fluttershy had experience around adorable animals. They let her fly away to bring help, assured that no force could stop them. As Fluttershy flew away, she felt betrayed. Angel had never told her that Meredith was his real name.
The other ponies fell, one by one. Unable to resist the cuteness, each pony had a heart attack, and they all fell to the ground clutching their hearts.
Once they had been taken care of, the bunnies continued on their rampage. They invaded homes and caused mass diabetes, heart attacks running rampant with the weaker ponies. The bunnies ravaged the town, killing off all the pegasi with unmatched adorableness to ensure that they would not have to worry about them moving clouds ever again. Once all the ponies had been cleared out, the bunnies burned down the buildings to make sure that their point was heard, and that no other ponies dared to mess with them.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy flew quickly to Canterlot to warn Celestia. As she looked back at the city of Ponyville, she could see smoke rising into the sky. She felt like crying, but she had to remain strong. Smoke continued to rise as she made her long journey, more and more buildings burned down.
Finally, Fluttershy found herself in Canterlot. Familiar with the city's layout, she quickly made her way to the castle, where she was welcomed in as a friend of Twilight's and a special guest of the Princess. She galloped up to the throne room, telling guards that asked her questions that it was an emergency. When she arrived, she threw open the doors, causing a startled Celestia to look over from her mounds of papers.
"Fluttershy, what brings you here."
Fluttershy gasped for breath, and when she was finally well enough to speak, she tried to keep herself from speaking too fast and becoming incomprehensible. Celestia's manner quickly changed when she realized that Fluttershy was clearly distressed.
"Earlier today we saw a large army coming towards us and confronted them, it turned out to be an army of bunnies. It escalated to a conflict and the bunnies invaded Ponyville, killed ponies, and destroyed our homes."
"Oh my," said Celestia,
"That's hare-able."
