Where Princesses Go To Die

by The Rainbow Blunderbolt

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad
Length: 3284

Celestia and Discord have a chat about what things could have been

“You see, Celestia, harmony is a pleasant lie that ponies have forced themselves to believe, and chaos is the painful truth that ponies have forced themselves to dismiss. But, they are both here in this realm, and they are both forced to coexist with each other. You see, one without the other is nothing, but when they are both together, they maintain balance. Ponies just seem to forget that.”

Published 2013-02-18 03:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-18 03:50:02 UTC

Tired

Princess Celestia stood in the never ending space. She was motionless, and silent. The only movement that she could detect was from around her, from the glowing orbs of light that shook and bounced in an uncontrollable pattern every second. Light came from behind her. She could see it from the shadows that danced around her bare hooves.

The alicorn was not in her usual regalia. Her crown was not on her head, her shoes were not on her hooves, and her chest piece was not in its usual home around her neck. Her body was devoid of any gold. It was only skin and fur. Her mane still flowed, but the movements were bare. The soft magical waves had stopped their powerful motions. Now, the goddess’ multi-colored mane was but a small wave, barely visible to any pony who sought it out. Unlike so many times before, there was no one for that now. She was alone.

She was waiting.

Her ears were laid back and her eyes scanned her surroundings. She had been here before, but not like this. Not alone. Each time she came here, she had been with some other creature. Now, it was only her.

She wasn’t used to that.

Princess Celestia was never alone. Every second of the day someone was with her. Whether it be that someone was asking if she was all right, or if she needed something, she was never alone. However, it could be said that she was never alone in a physical sense, not in a mental sense. After all, who would want to be alone? There was only one being she could think of, and that was her. The feeling of loneliness was intriguing to one who was never surrounded by it, and she wanted more of it.

That choice wasn’t hers to decide.

Not once did she move when she heard booming footsteps in the distance. Not once did she flinch when she heard soft hisses from around her, invading the space that she had once called her own just a few short moments ago. She stayed silent, and motionless.

The dancing orbs ceased moving, much like she had done a while ago and all was still. The light from behind her still shined, but she did not turn around to look at it. Instead, she stayed away from it and peered into the darkness in front of her. The sun had never been so close to the darkness like this. She wanted more of it, she wanted the calming quiet the darkness brought, but still she did not move. She could not move. She had to wait. No matter what it took, she had to wait, and she had to be still. The princess bit her tongue to stop her desperate cries from escaping. There would be silence here.

The scenery changed. It turned from a soft turquoise to a deep purple. She made no sound, and put her head down. Princess Celestia would not move or speak until he got here. That was the only rule, and he made it very clear that he wanted that rule to stay in play until the bitter end. The end that she knew would never come. She smiled bitterly. He knew that.

Of course he did.

He was in the same position that she was in. He was cursed too.

Only two beings could ever say they felt pain such as this. The pain of silence and longing, the pain of remaining intact forever, and never ceasing to exist. Herself, and the only other creature to bring her true love and friendship. However, he also brought her pain and strife.

And chaos.

“Hello, Celestia,” a cruel tone called out mockingly from behind her. “How funny that we meet here again.”

She turned around, unclenching her jaw. The first thing she saw was a silhouette of an ugly creature. This creature was mismatched. There was no rhyme or reason to the various body parts covering him, they just were. She found it interesting, for she had never seen something so unusual, so inviting, and so dangerous at the same time.

“Hello, Discord,” she smiled, matching his menacing tone with her mouth. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in here. Enjoying your stay in Ponyville a bit too much?” The question was teasing and playful, as it had been more than a century ago.

The draconequus laughed mischievously. “I suppose you might be able to say that,” he told her, walking closer. Now she could see him. Now she could see the face that had haunted her worst nightmares and most pleasant dreams. She wanted to see that face for the rest of time, as ridiculous as it sounded. “I daresay Celestia, your little ponies are sure hospitable; you trained them well.”

“You flatter me, Discord,” she laughed. “But it is by their will that they do such things; I have no part in how they treat others.”

He stepped closer to her. Discord was taller than the alicorn, but it didn’t take much height for her to look him in the eye. The tip of her horn reached the top of his forehead. It had always been that way, for as long as they dared to remember.

“That’s a lie, Celestia,” the draconequus laughed heartily. He plopped onto his rump effortlessly. Celestia followed him in sitting down. “You have more effect on them than you think. I swear I would never hear the end of it from that student of yours. But, it’s certainly better than listening to your voice for a thousand years.”

His statement held a malicious tone, and she could fully understand why. She had never meant to torture him, for she thought of herself as a benevolent ruler, and her subjects did too. But, she did just that when she had trapped him in his stone imprisonment with nothing to do but listen, and watch. Celestia didn’t want the memories to course through her subconscious like they did, however, she didn’t try and stop them. Instead, she let them take her away to a time much simpler than it was now.

She had a smile on her face.

“What are you smiling about?” Discord asked, faking innocence. “I see nothing funny going on around here. Would you please enlighten me?”

“Admit it, Discord, you liked hearing my voice for one thousand years,” the regal alicorn teased, looking him in the eyes gently, albeit teasingly. “After all, I doubt there was anything better for you to do.”

The look on his face was just like she remembered it had been.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Discord gave in, putting his weight on his arms and leaning back. “But, Fluttershy’s voice is a refreshing change, if I do say so myself.”

The pair was silent for a few moments afterwards. They had missed this, even if they were both reluctant to admit that fact. The draconequus and the alicorn watched the bouncing orbs of light float around them. It was just as they had last remembered it, tranquil, peaceful, silent. There was not another living soul in the vast space, and they intended to keep it that way. No one would disturb them.

They would make sure of that.

“Do you remember?” Discord asked suddenly, his voice becoming much softer than Celestia thought possible. He craned his neck down so that he could look at her. Celestia looked upwards with a questioning gaze.

“There are a lot of things I remember, Discord,” Celestia replied simply, gazing down at her two bare hooves. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

Discord rolled his uneven eyes. “Do you remember when we first came here? Because I certainly do. And I certainly remember the look on your face when you didn’t know where the floor was.”

He did that on purpose, Celestia thought bitterly. He knew that she hated it when other ponies saw her less than flattering moments. As a princess, you were expected to be perfect, you weren’t expected to have any flaws, and you certainly weren’t expected to scream and run in circles when you couldn’t see the solid ground below you. She groaned and flicked him with her tail.

“Yes, I remember,” she said begrudgingly. “I also happen to remember you not being able to find a way out when we first arrived, Mr. ‘We came in through here! I’m sure of it!’.” For a stoic princess of the sun, she seemed to have a gift poking at other creature’s buttons, and it certainly seemed to work on Discord.

“Please, Celestia, don’t remind me,” he grumbled. “Now, is there any particular reason you called me here this lovely evening?”

Celestia looked up at him curiously. He, the living emblem of chaos and disharmony, wanted a reason for something? But perhaps he just wanted to leave this place. Perhaps he wanted to get away from her. But why would he after he always told her he had so much fun here?

“Discord?” she asked. “What is it that you like about this place?”

The draconequus was more than confused, and rightfully so. But, he looked like he was genuinely thinking the question over. After a while, he spoke again.

“I suppose you could say that I like that this place has no real purpose,” Discord explained quietly. “It’s just here, for some random reason that even I cannot explain. It has no importance and it has no value; it’s just here for whatever lucky creature stumbles upon it. There is nothing here that makes sense, and I like that. Although, I suppose that’s a little expected, since it’s coming from me, after all.”

There were many times during his explanation that Celestia found herself raising her eyebrow. Discord’s reasoning was confusing enough as it was, there was no reason for him to go out of his way and make it just a bit more difficult for her to understand. But, as a creature of peace and harmony, she found it difficult to look at it any other way than confusing. However, she was sure that it made perfect sense to him.

“From the look on your face, I suppose I’m not making any sense, am I?” Discord asked knowingly. He gazed down upon her lithe figure, and compared it to his stocky one.

“I’m afraid not,” Celestia laughed.

Discord laughed too. “Now, tell me, Celestia,” he began. “What is it that you like about this place?”

Princess Celestia had to think, as she assumed Discord had to when he was asked this very question. There weren’t many reasons why she liked this place. Celestia wasn’t sure if she liked it at all. If that was true, then why did she come back here?

The immortal alicorn could not answer.

“I’m not sure what I like about this place, Discord,” she sighed. “I…would it sound strange to you if I liked it because it’s silent?”

“How so?” Discord asked her patiently.

“I’m not used to silence, Discord, and I’ve never really heard true silence. Everywhere I go, there’s always something there. There’s always something that’s making noise, and there’s never a rest from it. Here…I’m alone. It’s interesting to me, really. I suppose I like the concept of silence, a concept that’s always been so foreign to me,” Celestia said. She slowly rested her head on her hooves and ceased movement once again. Celestia didn’t want to move any more. She was just too tired. “Unlike the true world that’s always filled with noise, this place holds nothing but silence and tranquility, something I have never been able to fully grasp myself.” She looked up with her eyes at the intrigued draconequus. “Does that make sense?”

“To someone like you, maybe,” he replied nonchalantly, barely hesitating with his answer.

She sighed and stopped talking. So did he. The void was filled with silence once again. Celestia was still intrigued. She stayed there, with her head in her hooves, and listened to the peaceful silence for a while. Celestia closed her eyes when she deemed it time for her to speak again.

“Discord?” she asked.

“Yes?” the draconequus replied.

“Why is it that ponies love harmony, but despise chaos?”

The question was innocent enough, Celestia told herself as she heard Discord humming from beside her, breaking the silence she was so faithful to.

“Let me tell you something, Celestia,” Discord began. “Ponies want something to believe in, all creatures do, and somewhere along the lines of time, some creature told them that what they needed to believe in was peace and order. They were told that it was the only way for them to survive, for them to make sense of something. Harmony is contained and unchangeable. To put it simply, it’s safe, and ponies enjoy safety.”

Celestia looked up at him curiously. No being, living or dead, had explained it to her like that before. So why now? Why, in this void of silence and darkness, did chaos himself tell her what harmony was? The concept gave her something to look at. She had not had something like that in a very long time.

“And what of Chaos?” Celestia asked, eager to hear more.

Discord let out a weary laugh. “Always one to get to the bottom of things, eh, Celestia?”

She laughed along with him.

“Chaos is something completely different. It’s dangerous, it’s always changing and it never ends. It cannot be contained, and it can’t be understood. I have a hard enough time understanding it already, but to ponies, creatures who are so used to routine and sameness, the concept of chaos is so unthinkable to them that they tend to dismiss it as something should be feared. They tell themselves that chaos is something that should be looked down upon, and they step into a mindset that is logical, but very dangerous.” The draconequus looked straight ahead at a strange orb that had wandered much too close to the pair. “They fear anything that is different, and they condemn that unique thing to a truly lonely existence. This prohibits them from seeing the wonder that only chaos brings. As dangerous as it may be, it is also fascinating, and beautiful, in its own little way. But, ponies have made themselves blind to this. In doing that, they have also made themselves blind to the one thing that will inevitably take over this world.”

He flicked the orb away from the two and looked right into the alicorn’s eyes. The gaze was captivating to Celestia, and she made no effort to move away. She found herself moving closer to him. It was dangerous. Much too dangerous.

“You see, Celestia, harmony is a pleasant lie that ponies have forced themselves to believe, and chaos is the painful truth that ponies have forced themselves to dismiss. But, they are both here in this realm, and they are both forced to coexist with each other. You see, one without the other is nothing, but when they are both together, they maintain balance. Ponies just seem to forget that.”

In a strange way, it made sense to Celestia. But perhaps that sense came to her a bit too late. The alicorn put her head in her hooves once again and let out a weary sigh. The sigh sounded old and worn out. She couldn’t do this anymore. She didn’t want to do this anymore. Celestia had been in the land of the living for too long, and even she needed a rest.

“I’m tired, Discord,” she said simply.

“I am too, Celestia,” Discord replied. He gently laid his talons over the alicorn and stroked her back as she breathed deeply.
“I want to go to sleep,” Celestia whispered. “One thousand years is too long for any creature to be alive.”

“I know, Celestia,” Discord said, continuing to stroke her back gently. “Why don’t you go to sleep? No one’s stopping you here.”

“You know I can’t.” The statement was forced, and too utterly true. She couldn’t rest. She could never rest, no matter how much she wanted to. “And you know why.”

Discord tipped her head towards him with a paw, forcing her to look at him. Celestia didn’t want to, but she was much too tired to resist. She let him have his way, and she reluctantly looked at him in the eye.

“Yes, you can,” he told her gently. He leaned closer towards the alicorn and gazed downwards upon the endless space below them. “There are others you know.”

“I know.”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

Celestia couldn’t help but laugh. How many times had he promised this now? She had lost count. Celestia remembered the many times he had promised her he wouldn’t tell anyone, and then he would go behind her back the very same day, shouting out her secrets for all the world to hear. What more could you expect from the spirit of chaos? It made him untrustworthy, and very dangerous to be around. That was when they were young. This time, unlike all the others, they were older, and the promise sounded more sincere than she could ever remember. She sighed and closed her eyes.

“Do you promise?” she asked wearily.

“I promise.”

She laughed quietly, too quietly for him to hear.

“We could have done so much, Discord. You know that, don’t you?” she asked longingly.

“More than you would ever expect,” Discord sighed, not ceasing his careful backstrokes. “I wanted that much more than you’ll ever know.” He sounded sad to Celestia’s ancient ears. There could have been a way for them to do wonders, but it was much too late to try it now. She smiled but said nothing.

“I hope to see you again, Discord,” she told him quietly, not bothering to open her eyes and spare him a quiet glance.

“As do I, Celestia,” Discord replied. “And I suspect we will, sooner than you think.”

“Wonderful,” she sighed. “I look forward to it.”

Quietly, so no one would know, she let herself grow more and more relaxed. She curled around herself carefully and indulged herself in Discord’s delicate strokes. It was funny. She didn’t think that he could ever be that gentle.

Celestia had never really thought about what this strange, fascinating place felt like. All she focused on what was it looked like, or what it sounded like. Now she focused on what this mysterious space felt like. And it didn’t feel like anything. She knew she was lying down, she but didn’t feel what she was lying down on. All around her she felt nothing. She felt emptiness engulf her as she breathed deeply again and again. There was nothing to stop her now. Celestia thought of nothing, and she felt nothing.

She smiled. It felt good to feel nothing for once in her long, noise filled life.

The last thing she felt was her hair stop flowing.

Discord woke up suddenly, but not unexpectedly. He was in the cottage Fluttershy had allowed him to stay in, and he was in the bed Fluttershy allowed him to have. Discord rolled over. Something told him to go back to sleep, but he was curious, much too curious for his own good. He glanced at the clock just right of him.

It was around seven in the morning. The sun should be just peeking out over the horizon.

It was dark when he looked outside the window.

He smiled grimly.

“I won’t tell anyone, Celestia,” he whispered quietly to himself from underneath the covers. He felt the pillow below him get damper and damper as each moment passed.

“I promise.”