Rainbow Crust

by clopper69

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Dark, Human
Length: 4137

Rainbow Crust: A Collection of Short Stories

A collection of short stories featuring Rainbow Dash who has hygiene problems to say the least.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-06 21:16:23 UTC

Asking for Help

It's a wonderful evening in Ponyville when you hear a knocking at your door.

You open it to find Rainbow Dash.

She looks a little worried about something.

"Hey Anon, I was uh... wondering if you could help me out with something?"

She seems to be avoiding eye contact. That's odd.

"Sure Rainbow, you know I've always got your back. What do you need?"

She casts a nervous glance behind her and steps inside the house.

"I'm having a little problem uh... down there... and-

Down there?

"I figured since you have hands and all..."

Oh fuck

"Well I did say I've got your back. Let's go to the bathroom."

You get to the bathroom and mentally prepare yourself for what may be ahead.

"Alright, lay down. Let's see what we're dealing with."

She lies down on her back keeps her hind legs locked in front.

"Promise you won't talk about this to anyone."

She seems really nervous at this point, maybe she's never exposed herself this way before?

"I promise Rainbow. What happens in here stays in here."

She nods her head and slowly moves her legs apart...

It's like she's never washed it before.

Crusty skinflakes, discolored swelling, pus dribbling from open sores, and the smell, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THE SMELL.

What the fuck am I supposed to do.

"It's been getting itchier than normal lately and tree branches just aren't doing it for me anymore."

"Y-you want me to scratch it for you?"

"Just a little, I'll tell you when to stop"

She looks at you expectantly. Waiting for you to begin.

God help your soul.

You look for the least infected area and hesitantly bring your hand towards it.

As you begin to scratch you notice globs of dead skin getting caught under your fingernails.

"Scratch harder, I can't feel anything."

Goddammit

You press a bit harder and pop a boil or two in the process spilling a mixture of blood and pus down her folds.

She grunts in pleasure

"Is this good?"

"G-go a little deeper."

Well why the fuck not

You slip your other hand into her folds and begin scratching the infected skin at the source.

Rainbow moans in pleasure.

You feel another liquid begin to dribble out and onto your hand.

You are obviously doing something right.

Dinner with Dashie

As dash trots into the living room she gives you 'that look', and you know immediately what time it is.

7:30 PM.

Dinner time.

Picking up and placing Dash on the counter, you go to fumble through the drawers for a teaspoon.

Finding one, you stick the aluminum utensil into into Dashie and begin to pull out the build up of grease.

With each scoop more blood flows to your diseased, syphilis-ridden cock.

You get about seven scoops out and throw it in the frying pan before flipping the stove on.

As the grease melts, you look back to that moldy snatch.

It's been years since you've came here, ones filled with hardship and loneliness.

If only you knew about this treasure trove when you first arrived, all of your hardships would have been well worth it.

Not to say they aren't now, but you just wish could enjoy it this whole time.

The grease begins to sizzle and pop.

Taking out a bag of frozen french fries, you begin to insert them into Rainbow's crusty folds slowly, making sure she feels each one rub against her lips as it slides in.

You get about 70 fries into her, getting plenty of spuds coated in urine, blood, and perhaps even concentrated black plague.

Picking her up again, you begin to shake her above the pan.

The fries slide out with a arousing slicking sound, and begin to deep fry in the mixture of pus and vaginal juice.

The smell is irresistable, but you'll have to wait.

Shame you have nothing to snack on in the meantime.

Oh wait!

You do!

She seems to stifle a whimper as the flesh first rips, but as you go deeper and deeper she begins gets into it.

Your hand meets the end, and you begin to sift it through the sludge of backed up vaginal juice.

Slowly, you ball up some of the more thickened juices in your palm.

You get a handful, and begin to dredge the smiley sex juices back out towards your waiting mouth.

The slime-ball peaks out from beneath her rotten folds, like a child being birthed into this world.

You kiss it like it's your own, and begin to slurp it down.

Rainbow coughs as if she's trying to grab your attention.

You look up into her magenta eyes, and notice her motioning to the pan.

"Anon, our food?"

"Oh! Right!"

You take the ball and throw it in a glass, then hurry to the pan.

They seem done, and you toss them in a pasta strainer.

As you're shifting it around to get the vaginal grease off the little glorious spuds, an idea comes to you as if you were inspired by god.

"Dash, go ahead and take a seat, I'll bring them too you."

She heads to her seat, and you throw the fries onto a paid of plates.

You grab the glass of sludge, and begin to sprinkle it on the two meals.

"Dinner, is served!"

You spread her legs open further, having to use a little bit of force to unstick the matted fur.

As her beautiful, crusty hidden heaven comes into view, a waft of musk hits you.

You'll never get over it. Something about the scent drives you wild. Like a primal urge in a tribal man who found his prey.

You begin to kiss the outer folds, licking your lips after each peck.

It's salty enough today that you won't need any for the fries.

It's delicious.

You continue giving light kisses, and look up at rainbow.

She's looking aroused, but not pleasured.

The layer of dried spunk and piss must be too thick for her to feel it.

Determined to not be selfish and have her enjoy it as much as you are, you begin to nibble at her clit.

She begins to moan, little pieces of long necrotic flesh falling onto your tongue as you rub your teeth over the winking mass of flesh.

You swallow each, but not before savoring the flavor.

A few licks and one final bite then you move onto her slit, tickling the lips and sinking your tongue shallowly between the walls.

Her moans increase in volume and begin mix with the sizzling of the fries, making disease-ridden music to your ears.

Her inner flavor is exquisite, you can taste the fungi and bloody puss in full.

Hmm, perhaps you'll pull a few out for omelets tomorrow.

But that will wait for the morning. You make a mental note to do so tomorrow and begin to slowly work your hand into her, lightly tearing her vagina as you force it's way in.

Rainbow Crust Sexual Escapes

You smear the chapstick on her cracked and swollen lips

Its petrified winking reveals a yellow smooth texture

Your invitation is accepted, you delve into the rotten cave face first

Its putrid gunk plastered to your mouth

Its time

You whip out your uncircumcised dick and force feed the mare your smegma

Pony teeth work well to peel your fermented foreskin fruit

You leave no fungi infested baby blue orifice unexplored

You ready your bleeding sex spire for the upcoming disease

It felt so wonderful, what felt like hemorrhoids only tightened on the painfully smashed penis

Your dick stood no chance; it was pinched off with your load of spunk

The mares tongue caressed the throbbing pink cap

Her tongue battered the bottom crease of the foreskin

Etching fine detail, gathering every essence of sweat and slime

She ground her golden teeth over your tip to rip the remaining crust from your fold

Her filthy juices slathered your meat muscle in a thick coat

Her gnawing strips away layers of skin

The blood is swiftly blocked by bacteria cauterizing blood veins

A bloody-mary mix drizzles through the cracks of decaying teeth

Bellowing screams can be heard halfway across Ponyville

You make out the voice to be Rainbow Dash

Rushing to the rescue like the heroic anon you are , you arrive at the scene

Blood is everywhere, thinning strips of multicolor gunk is mixed into the puddles

You spot Rainbow Dash in the corner

Discharging vaginal fluid like a shotgun splattershot to the face

Enraged, you approach her with clenched fists

Something about seeing her cower in fear rushed blood to your muscle

Towering over her with your enlarged member, you begin to pump

Her moist minge is foaming with froth

You spray your seedmachine

That was all the help she needed because she stopped screaming

In fact she hasn't spoken with anyone in days

My First Kiss with Rainbow Crust

I'll be honest, I got my first kiss from Rainbow Crust from a kissing booth.

I sat at that table and held that pretty little pony in my arms. I pushed my tongue through those lips and savored the most amazing experience of my life.

As you can guess, Dash has never brushed her teeth even once in her life. I softly pushed plaque around as I brushed her sore gums, tasting copper already as I softly assault every delicate corner of her gingivitis wracked mouth.

But most enthralling, the taste. Boisterous, prank loving Dash got ready for her day at the kissing booth, preemptively trying to get revenge on any silly boys that wanted to kiss her.

Her mouth absolutely stank of puss. Salty, musky, rarely washed, every flick of my tongue, every wet breath escaping our lips flooded my senses with the rapidly re-moistening and awakening scents. It reeked so bad I could feel it to my core, it stank until I could hear it.

Drool and dribble trickles down her face and brings crusty bits of slime and femcum back to live from lying dormant in her hair. It's everywhere, slime sticking to me, skunking me with the disgusting bitch Dash had been in that morning.

I got my bit's worth, all right.

Rainbow Dad Gives Her "The Talk"

"Hey Dad, I got your letter to stop by, what did you want to see me so badly for?"

"Well Dash, mostly to say I'm sorry, for a lot of things. Raising you was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I made a few mistakes along the way. I'd never change having you, Dashie, but I'd do a few things different."

"Aww, you were the best Dad in the world. I couldn't love you more, even if you spank me a few times for like, no reason at all."

"Excuse me?"

"Come one Dad, it's like, the year 1000, who still spanks their kids?"

"I caught you smoking twice, and when you got caught stealing those magazines and got kicked out of flight camp, I just didn't know what to do! Besides, you didn't steal anything after that again, did you?"

"No."

"And not because of some sense of moral justice, no, you didn't because if your butt was this sore the first time you knew you'd have to hover for the rest of your life due never being able to sit again."

"Pfft, whatever Dad. I still have scars from that one, you know?"

Dash unceremoniously trots over to her father and spins around, wagging her rump in his face, keeping her tail tightly down to politely obscure her genitals. True to Dash's word, there were streaks on her butt cheeks that were thinner than the rest, small slivers of bare skin visible in spots. Her father tenderly brushed a hoof along her backside, tracing the lines and feeling sorry not for the beating, but that it had to be done.

But the elephant in the room, even more offensive than the scars of an overzealous whipping, was the smell rising from beneath her tail. The rank, wet heat of roadkill on a hot summer's day that had flooded the cloudhome as soon as she had entered it, and was practically blowing in her father's face at the moment.

"Dash, believe me, this really was one of the hardest things I had to do. But this, what I'm about to do today, is going to be the hardest father moment of all time.

The talk."

Dash's sigh of relief was palpable as she straightened back up, her butt having drooped low fearing having to scoot on out of there if Daddy was going to have to whip her for something again. Full grown mare or not, she felt like a little kid whenever Dad was talking to her.

"Dad, I think it's a little late for that. I'm twenty three."

"No dear, I fear there's a few things you may have missed."

Dash grinned, only having few rare chances in her life to show off knowledge, and standing tall and proud with all the pride of the day she became the element of loyalty she recited the process of reproduction. "Oh yeah? Mare meets colt, they fall in love, then they get married, then they build a nest together, and then he puts his 'whats it' in her 'hoo ha' and babies pop out."

Her father nodded sagely.

"Yes, I suppose you got that close enough. But there's more, Dash."

She drooped again as her father continued.

"You've got to keep yourself clean too, you know. There's a few things about your body you need to know, that I never got around to teaching you. I was just so embarrassed and scared, and you seemed like a toddler to me until the day you moved out, I never felt like it was time yet. Then I hoped you were old enough to figure it out on your own or that someone else would tell you, but that clearly has never happened."

"I-I shower like, every other day, Dad-"

"Do you wash it?"

"M-my h-hoo-"

"Your vagina, Dash."

"The, the book I read, skimmed, it said it was supposed to be 'self cleaning'!"

"That's different dear. You've never washed that thing in your life? Show me."

"Dad!"

"Dash, please. I spent three years cleaning poop out of both your cracks when you were a little foal. You'll always be my baby girl no matter how old you get, so go ahead and show me."

With all the same nervous skulking of a child about to get whipped again Dash walked back over to her father with baby steps.

Again she puts her butt in her Dad's face, this time with less that one one-thousandth of the confidence she'd had earlier.

"Lift your tail, Dashie."

Timid and nearly quaking at her knees too hard to do it correctly Dash flicks her tail up onto her back, exposing her private treasure to her father.

Thick and utterly rotten, the smell suffocates like a blanket throw over his face. Had he been standing he would have been floored, and even seated he threatened to sway over and collapse. Chapped lips swollen to twice their normal size stared him in the face, skin peeling free from its wet prison all over Dash's coot. A thick, snotty discharge leaked, gumming up the lower area of the freak show as the higher areas near the anus seemed dry and nearly sunburnt.

The anus as well seemed distressed, bright skinned and scabbing areas all around the puckering ring, as though Dash had never wiped in her life and simply itched it whenever she felt like.

"Dash, Dash. Dash, Dash, Dash. What?"

"What's what, Dad?"

"Do you think this is normal, dear? Hasn't anyone ever said something about this?"

"W-well, sometimes, ponies gasp a little when they get a good view of my butt, but I always thought that it was because of your whipping scars."

"And your special someponies?"

"..."

"Really? What about that griffon that nearly ruined you?"

"Dad! I told you, she wasn't gay!"

"So she 'made you' go steal a bunch of magazines full of erotic mares for no reason?"

"We were gonna sell them!"

"To who?"

"I, I don't know. Somepony, I guess."

"You're not in trouble Dash, you can tell me anything. You aren't going to get spanked for liking mares."

"I don't Dad. I, uh, I only ever tried to 'experiment' once and she nearly puked when I presented to her, so I knew right there she didn't like mares."

"Dash, anyone would puke at this. It's completely rotten, and it's my fault for letting it get this bad."

"What are you saying, Dad?"

"I'm saying, it's time to punish myself."

He licked.

If his hooves hadn't had an iron, vise like grip on her thighs, Dash would have shot out of there fast enough to crack a Rainboom.

"Dad! Dad! What!? What the fuck?! Dad!"

"Shh, shh, don't curse Dash."

"Why? Why would you do that, dad!?"

"I'm cleaning you. I made this mess, and I'm going to clean it up. This is just like preening, Dashie. Just relax, and let Daddy clean you all up."

"I..."

"You what, dear?"

"Nothing."

And so Dash's father took another lick. It was horrid. This was his penance for the ten years of ignorant pain and misery his daughter had undergone, come back to him tenfold. As soon as a single molecule of his tongue made contact with his daughter's cracked labia the sensation of salt burst through his entire core like a supernova.

Thousands of days of concentrated sweat, rank corrosion, metallic tones and sensations of licking rusted iron in the ocean, shooting bad oysters, and a heat, a rising heat through his stomach up to his head threatening to steal consciousness from him.

And again, Daddy's smooth, soothing tongue licked his beautiful daughter's bleeding slit.

Softer now, pungent tastes assaulting his senses and psyche as he dives in and does his dutiful chores as a loving father. The thick discharge is lapped up, running snot thick in body and thicker in taste, peppered with chunks of old blood and scab never properly flushed.

To the sides now her moves, licking deep into the seams on either side of the labia. Over twenty years of smegma and crust accumulated on the backsides of those lips, formed and pressed into little cakes with the heat, sweat, and pressure of Dash's lifestyle. Each sliver of those precious little beauties burned like an exploding star, splintering to Dad's tongue and exploding on his palette like dynamite, headiness threatening to make him faint.

Temporary defeated he pulls back, needing water and a breath of fresh air.

"It's... it's like no cheese I've ever tasted."

"Don't stop Dad, please, it, I, it doesn't hurt anymore. It doesn't ache. Please don't stop, Dad."

There are many tough times in a father's life. Going to the bathroom and emptying your stomach into the toilet as quietly as possible while pretending to get a glass of water is among the most challenging. Looking at your daughter waving her puffy, rotten coot in the air as though she were in heat, begging you come back and keep sucking out the venom is probably the second or third worst.

But it was time to pay the price.

Again into the breach with his tongue, again to eat out all the poison of his daughter's afflictions. Long, slow laps from bottom to top, polishing off any discharge, mopping up any loose skin and debris, Daddy's soothing saliva like a balm on his daughter's infected privates.

And now with the outside clear, deeper he must go. Gently tugging the lips apart to dive in, splayed tongue like a shovel digging out the sediment of neglect. Bits of old rotten flow have crusted all around and must be chiseled free, father's tongue nearly burning as though coated in acid. With his snout pressed firmly in his daughter's unwashed anus fighting for air in the slime of her never wiped behind his tongue pressed deeper and deeper into her virgin canal, fighting the rotten cherry for every ounce of gummy, decaying discharge he can suck out.

Dash herself, enraptured, beyond any pleasure she's felt in her life. This is not simply oral for her, this is the unspeakable relief of having a crushing mantle removed from one's shoulders. She felt lighter than a single feather, pushing herself into Daddy's face, each lap of his magical, loving tongue healing her with an antiseptic freshness. She felt normal, alive, and vigorous. The haunting itches and aches, gone. Her first orgasm lost in the sea of relief, unable to hold a candle to the roaring tide of pleasure from being cleaned.

"I love you, Dad!"

His nose and tongue 'pop' as he pulls them free.

"I love you too."

Two hours later they come home from the market, laughing and chatting as though any happy father and daughter. Daddy's saddlebags have a few different tools and soaps to help a young mare clean and freshen herself, and Dash's are stuffed full of healthy produce for good, old fashioned holistic pony medicine.

"All right Dashie, you start eating those cranberries like there's no tomorrow while I make dinner, okay?"

"Sure thing Dad."

The night wore on, the two happily talking and reminiscing. Dash practically floated all around the house, so excited and ecstatic from Daddy's treatment and from the thought of somehow feeling even better after this medicine worked it's wonders on her. Dinner was Dash's all time favorite, just how Daddy used to make it. It was a perfect evening, just the two of them how it used to be.

Dash never wanted to admit how much she missed Dad while living on her own. It was sort of a big deal in pegasus culture to leave your parent's nest as soon as possible, and though her wicked awesome sky castle was pretty sweet, it was also really empty.

"Hey, Dash? Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight, instead of the couch?"

"Only if we pretend there's a thunderstorm, Dad."

Together they laughed, and nuzzled eachother's shoulders.

They bathed together that evening, Dad rubbing soap all over every inch of Dash's body while she play wrestled him in the tub and acted out as though she were only five again, Daddy having to hold her down and scrub her bits with a washcloth that evening.

Together they bonded, applying Dash's topical and internal medicines and laughing the whole while, bond between father and daughter never stronger.

Cuddled together in the old bed, with his daughter's head resting on his chest, everything in life was perfect.

And then she started snoring.

Prologue: Anon & Rainbow Dash

Raised by a single father

Never really got the talk

Thought she was dying after her first period

Never really learned how to wash down there

Thinks her yeast infection is the natural state of things

Constant itching has plagued her for years

Thinks it's so common, never mentions to her friends

Sticks like rancid slim jims whenever she dips down to piss

Some of the girls have noticed, none have commented

"What a dyke" they say

"Her girlfriend must love it" they say

They laugh

Dash just itches

Rubs it against tree bark, occasionally

Nothing feels better than napping legs spread, letting it dry out in the sun

Poor, 'lazy' Dash

You know you could tell her the truth

You could fix this, and make everything better

But you love stinky infected Dash

You love her feta cheese

You love how she needs you to itch her

Get your fingers all nasty, slimy, and stinky covered in flakes of skin, rot, and puss

She's always so embarrassed, and thanks you so dearly

I love you, Dash

You spear that puss pussy every night like lancing a boil

Something bleeds every time, like she's your beautiful virgin

More than sex, you cure her of the itching for a brief respite

Slamming balls deep in the slimy ichor constantly exuding from her swollen, chapped lips

You cum inside, of course

The infections are so deeply rooted at this point you know she's infertile

She doesn't

She thinks she's normal

Blushing deeply as you cream her cheese, chiding you about not being ready to be a mother

She will never be

Her rotten vagina, infected to the womb with fuzzy mold, will never grow anything but spores

You wipe the black scab flakes and pink yellow puss cum off

She pees a light pink stream, sighing

You fall asleep idly scratching the puss pot, her head lightly resting on your chest

Snoring, the little tart