Chapters I woke up. Not gracefully as one would imagine, but very suddenly, sitting up on my flank. I had struggled to remember the horrid details of my nightmare, but glanced outside my dull, filthy, second story window. A rainbow was arched across the pale blue morning sky.
“That’s funny; I don’t remember it raining recently” I thought to myself as I harnessed the energy within to actually get out of my bed, “There’s something… not right about those. Rainbows… pffffffftttt.”
I arose, and did a very quick stretch and walked slowly to my rounded door after finding my thick rimmed glasses. I trotted past all my lovely books, my frilly pink lamp (that I don’t like), and finally, a mirror. I gazed at myself in that mirror, admiring… is that the right word for it? I glanced upon my springy red and yellow mane, noticed my horn, adjusted my glasses and heaved out a big sigh.
I tiptoed down the stairs as to not wake him. Grayson. Slumbering on the couch. Cider mug in hand. Snoring so UNGODFULLY LOUD…
“Alrighty, I just gotta…”
Then, of course with my luck, I tripped on a discarded bag and hit the floor with a loud boom. Grayson stirred, and then the horrible man began to shout.
“SINGSPIEL!” He yelled, leaping from the couch and getting really close to my face. So close I could FEEL his rancid breath on my forehead as his hulking body loomed over me. “What are YOU doing down here?”
“I’m… leaving… Yes! I’m leaving!” I said with all the courage I could muster, and then darted past him to the door. In his hung-over stupor, I managed to flee the encampment where I have spent much, much too long.
Laughing loudly to myself as I picked up speed, I followed a path (South, I believe), until I felt I was far enough away to safely walk at a normal speed. I came to a dead stop when I remembered that I had forgotten a small satchel in my room. I sat myself down, and began to tear up. Inside the forgotten sac was the only thing worth bringing with me on my “adventure” so to speak. Amongst all the clutter, a stupid lamp, books about nothing of interest and a full length mirror, I sought after one thing, a small silver flute, the only thing given to by my mother. Handed down, really. I either never met her or I truly don’t remember. Grayson never talks about her. No one does. No one knows who she is. And I’ve hardly ever left that disgusting place. No one comes to see me, just him. Those loud, loud gatherings at ridiculous times of the night.
I don’t want to think of him anymore. That’s why I left. Finally. After 8 years of this… torture… I’m finally free.
I stood up after a few moments of crying and used my right hoof to wipe my small tears away, after bumping my glasses and feverishly knocking them to the ground. As I picked them up, I saw a flash of pink. Thinking it was someone Grayson sent to find me, I cowered in fear with my hooves over my head and my face in the dirt.
“What in Equestria are you doing, silly? I could hear you crying from allllllllllll the way over there!”
I looked up. A (very pink) pony was pointing far off into the distance, by a pond. I stood up and nodded at her.
“You’re so quiet. And sad!” She awkwardly gave me the biggest hug in my life, and it instantly warmed my heart up. I have never in my life been shown such affection, and from a stranger!
“I… I ran away today.” I said, while poking at the ground, “And I forgot something at my house… I can’t go back to get it.”
The pink one’s face suddenly got substantially less chipper. Her bouncy curls almost began to flatten as the color slowly started to drain from her face. Then, suddenly, the color returned as she beamed and happily shouted.
“WHY WOULD YOU RUN AWAY? ARE YOU HUNGRY? DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS? I CAN HELP! YOU NEED TO… SMILE!”
“Smile…” I thought. “Umm… like this?” I let out a cheeky grin. It felt… Amazing, actually. I haven’t smiled in so long… I wasn’t allowed to be happy. I literally couldn’t. This mare has taught me so much from standing here and shouting at me.
“Yeah! That’s it! Now, let’s sing!” She said as happy as can be as the color sprung back in her mane and she began to hop.
“Oh, I’m not very good at singing. I… can’t.” Or, at least that was what I was told.
“Everypony can sing, like this!” The pink one began to sing about the benefits of smiling, a song that I didn’t know of, yet I softly mumbled the melody.
“Oh, you don’t know that song, do you? Well, sing the song that’s in your heart! I know you can do it!”
I took a deep breath and began to belt out a chilling melody I didn’t even know I remembered.
“Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye. Remember me once in a while -please promise me you'll try. When you find that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free -if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me.”
The pink mare stared at me for a few moments before getting really excited. Almost a little too excited.
“That’s a beautiful song! Teach me! Teach me! TEACH MEEEE!” She happily screeched while bouncing, yet again.
“Well, it…” I thought long and hard. How does one TEACH another a sentimental song that I don’t even remember where it came from.
Then it hit me. My mother. My scarlet haired, beautiful mother holding me as a filly and singing this to me. Then, a strange bit, I saw the music forming around her as she sang and it went into the distance… Maybe if I could harness that, and …push it into her head or something?
I began to sing again, with more gusto and blue swirling music came out of my gaping mouth. As it danced around her and she, yet again, got exceedingly excited, I took my magic of my horn and pushed it into her mouth. Her eyes glowed that same color of blue for a moment, before she sang the lyrics back to me, almost the same, yet more pitchy and of course, it wasn’t my voice.
I felt something… funny on one of my hips. I looked, and there was a bright flash. A black treble and bass clef making a heart appeared where my “blank flank” once was. MY CUTIE MARK?!
“That’s FANTASTIC!” The pink one shouted while hopping excitedly. “We have to have a party, now!”
My face went white and I got somber. “Party?” I thought. My mind instantly went to Grayson’s hosted loud events with a lot of drinking… and kicking. I began to weep.
“No. Please. I don’t want to have a party…” I covered my face in my hooves again, as she pulled them off my dripping eyes and dragged me down a path towards what looked like more buildings. She went ON AND ON about how she has many friends and I should meet them, how I would “fit in” and where I could stay for a while. She spoke quite highly of one named Twilight Sparkle and how she moved here, too.
I gave in. I guess friends are better than being locked in one place and hit.
We arrived at a magnificent library… in a tree.
“Wait here!” The bouncy, extremely excited for no reason pony said as she rushed and pounded on the door of the wondrous tree. I promptly sat about ten feet back from the steps, poking at the ground with my hooves.
A purple unicorn answered. “Pinkie, what is it? I’m entirely busy… can this wait?”
Pinkie got sort of… upset with her greeting “TWILIGHT! There is a pony over there and… I need to plan a party for her. Could you pretty please with cupcakes on top watch her for a teensie weensie bit? I bet you’ll have loads of things to talk about or she can help you do whatever it is you do!”
Pinkie stepped to the side and pointed at me.
Twilight waved, and began to speak again. “You know, I have Spike for that. You know how he gets.”
Pinkie whispered into her ear, and Twilight facial expression changed from annoyance to distress, then immediately changed her mind.
“Excuse me, why don’t you come in for a while? Any friend of Pinkie’s is a friend of mine.”
I nodded, and trotted past Pinkie into the lovely library home.
“I’ll be back later! You girls have fun!” Pinkie exclaimed as she bounced off into a random direction.
After taking one step inside, Twilight shut the door and I found myself in a room filled with shelves. She and another small purple creature pushed a small sofa towards me. I felt inclined to sit upon it, so I did.
“Umm. Hi.” I sheepishly said.
“Hi. I’m Twilight. Pinkie said something about you running away this morning and recently getting your cutie mark?” She said as she dragged a stool across the room with her magic and sat hastily upon it.
“She talks really fast, if that is what she whispered about.” I looked out the window blankly, for I did not really feel like talking.
“Well, yes. Would you like to talk about it?”
“I don’t like others. I really don’t want to have a party. I don’t like to talk.” I shifted to lay on my back and stare at the celling, noting the texture.
“I was afraid of that. I think it stems from possible abuse.”
“What’s that?”
“When… someone, an older person, possibly an authority figure, hits you or hurts your feelings to the point where you…”
“Yes.”
“What do you mean, yes?”
“Yes. That happened. A lot. Which is why I left.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope.”
“What’s your cutie mark mean?”
“Music.”
“What about it?”
I started to sing my mother’s song to her. She watched in awe as the music swirled around her, and then I pushed the swirling musical staff into her. Her eyes glowed bright blue as she sang it near perfectly back to me.
“That is astounding. I have never seen something like that, even with the most musical of ponies. We really should celebrate finding you. “
“But I don’t like other ponies. I do not want a party.”
“Even I like parties. It may not look like it, because there are so many books around, but it will be fun.”
“I… guess I’ll try.”
Twilight returned to her usual business and ushered the purple creature to leave me alone.
“Spike, she looks exhausted. Let her rest a bit. It takes a lot of energy for someone in her condition to handle social interaction.” She waved him over to a different doorway across the way and I shifted on the couch to get comfortable. I closed my eyes and heaved out a giant sigh, as my mind began to wander, as it usually does before falling into a deep slumber.
I was having a wondrous dream about being back at my home, no Grayson to be heard and playing my flute. The sun was shining brilliantly through my window and I finally felt at peace.
I was shaken a bit, and awoke to a room of a lot of brightly colored ponies. Pinkie was in my face as I struggled to keep my eyes open.
“Wake up!” She shouted excitedly as she shook me again. “It’s time for your party, uhh… What’s your name?”
“Singspiel.” I blankly replied as I scanned the room. No big drunk colts. Good. Some cakes on the side of the room, a bowl of purple drink-like stuff, little fillies, ponies, and a few pegasi as well as a couple unicorns.
Pinkie picked me up with ease and held me in the air. “I found her and she’s special!” she exclaimed.
Everyone stomped their hooves excitedly and started eating. As she sat me down, I began to feel anxious because there were so many others in this seemingly tiny room. I ran to one side and was confronted by a cyan, rainbow-haired pony.
“What’s the hurry? Sit down, have some punch.” She set her hoof on my shoulder and tried to hand me a cup.
“I. Ugh. No. I gotta…” I stuttered as I broke free and backed towards a corner. “No. I do not like parties. There are too many others and I do not desire for interaction.” I thought to myself as I hid in my hooves again.
“Girl. You just ran into me.” A voice behind me said calmly, yet sternly.
I jumped due to being startled and turned slowly. There was a dark red Pegasus with jet black messy hair sitting in the corner where I was going to hide. He looked a lot older than me. Maybe 12 versus my 8.
I quickly apologized and searched for another place to hide.
“No. Don’t worry. Sit with me. No one ever does…” He solemnly said as he hung his head down. That is when I noticed he also wore glasses.
I hesitantly sat next to him. He’s got issues with people like me, I guess. Birds of a feather flock together, or something.
“I don’t like others.” I told him without making eye contact.
“Why are you at a party, then?” He inquired.
“Pinkie threw this for me, and I didn’t even want it.” I stated while hiding my face.
“She never really… listens.” He replied
I nodded, and then searched his side closest to me for a cutie mark. Nothing. He set a hoof over my shoulder to give me a side-hug and I almost completely lost my mind. I whimpered a bit, thinking he was going to hit me. He must have noticed this, because he withdrew his hoof and whispered in my ear.
“I am not going to hurt you. I never will. I promise.”
I felt a strange… calming sensation. Then, I hugged him. He was solid and warm. I’ve never really hugged a boy before, and I got really bad tinglies in my little belly. I gazed into his eyes to notice they were a brilliant yellow.
“See, that’s not so bad.” He reassured me while he patted my springy hair. “My name is Psyreo.”
“My name’s…”
“I know your name. Everyone does, now.” He interrupted.
“You must live down here, then. How do you function with all these happy ponies? I mean, you seem a lot like me and I can barely handle being in this room, let alone in a whole town filled with probably more of them.”
“1, yes, I am very much like you. And 2, I don’t live here. I live in Cloudsdale.” He replied.
“How did you inquire and hence make it to this gathering, then?”
“It was a mistake of somepony’s timing. I really shouldn’t be here.”
“What? Why?” I scanned the room a second time, and the others were starting to stare at me and Psyreo as if he was doing something dreadfully wrong.
“They don’t like me. I came here with Rainbow Dash.” He whispered. “You better go talk to another pony to make it seem like I’m not corrupting you or something.”
I agreed to his seemingly silly request and got up to talk to somepony else.
I found a group of three very little fillies. A little orangey Pegasus, A white unicorn, similar to me, and a yellow earth pony. They all jumped around me with excitement while they pestered and bombarded me with questions.
“What’s your cutie mark mean?”
“How’d you get it?”
“Your hair is pretty!”
“Are you magical?”
“Where are you from?”
“Why were you talking to that Psycho guy?”
I extended my leg to halt their bouncy annoyances. They stopped abruptly and hit the ground with a thud.
“I’m not from here, I’m from… I don’t really know. My cutie mark is music. And I was talking to Psyreo because he is… nice. His name isn’t Psycho. And he isn’t. ” I replied with a snoody annoyed air.
“Yes he is! He hurts people and he’s really weird. He mumbles to himself and no one likes him!” The orange one said matter-of-fact-ly.
I glanced over at him for a small moment, and he was holding his head and looked like he was in tremendous pain… I couldn’t help but feel distressed.
“And you HUGGED HIM?!” The white unicorn squeaked while jumping to get my attention from Psyreo. “That’s really not good.”
“I’m gonna tell my big sis! She won’t like that!” the yellow one chimed as she imitated the unicorn by jumping again.
I couldn’t handle this newfound disappointment and turned around to speak to somepony else. I looked into their faces and couldn’t take their stares… I decided to hide again. This time, I found a tiny dark closet and fell asleep on a pile of raincoats.
3: Fluttershy and Twilight.
I awoke to a blinding light and immediately cowered in fear of what would happen. I had forgotten where I was, but was quickly reminded when Twilight was standing in front of my closet-coat-fortress-of-solitude, eclipsing the bright light, the bane of my existence.
“We have been looking for you. We thought you were taken or ran off with…”
“Ran off with who? I was… looking for my coat and a broom hit me. I guess I passed out… heh…”
“There are no brooms in this closet, and you didn’t bring a coat with you. You also have made a mess of my carefully organized rain coverings. I feel as if you were hiding because you couldn’t handle the stimulation of social events and thus felt it necessary to hide or sleep. “
I had no words. She had used some sort of skill to belittle me with logic and make me speechless. I need to learn this talent!
“We need to talk. I want to talk you though this and help you.” The purple unicorn sternly stated while holding her head down and shaking it as if she was very disappointed in me.
“Can we not?” I asked sarcastically. “I don’t see the reasoning of recounting my past to ‘help’ me. It will only sadden me, then sadden you, then anger me.”
“Would you rather live with the pain?”
“I REALLY do not wish to cry.”
“Crying is good for you. It helps you heal.”
“It hurts, and I can’t.”
“You can’t cry?”
“No. “
“Come on.” She strained while tugging on my right front leg and attempted to pull me out of the closet. I tripped on some brightly colored jackets as they ensnared my legs. I got a face full of hard wood flooring. “I have arranged for you to have one-on-one time with some of my friends, then two musicians are going to come to see you around dinner time. I sent a letter to Celestia about you. She is astounded about your ability. As am I. I haven’t read about it in any books. “
“What makes you better at socializing, no, a better being than me if all you do is read books all day, write letters to someone you rarely see and use logic to belittle others? What if you do this because you hurt inside, just like I do, and you want to ‘fix them’, the others like you so you can be the only one, the superior being?”
Her face went blank, then looked almost crimson with anger. Her eyes’ anger danced like fresh flames.
“Get OUT!” She beamed as she ran in the opposite direction towards a staircase, tripped up it, as if she was too emotional to walk and ignored my existence.
I left. As I trotted through her rounded door, I laughed softly to myself. “My plan WORKED! It’s not that hard, really. Maybe if I upset everyone else, they won’t feel distraught if I leave, or kick me out. I do not wish to be here. “ I thought loudly, this specific thought protruded itself over all my random utterings for my seemingly normal brain.
I then heard a small dark chuckle in the back of my mind. Like a fluttering of wings from a caged, forgotten bird. I shook it off and went on my merry way to upset everyone.
I decided to wander towards a forest and eventually came upon a tree house and a small ranch like yard. A yellow pegasus looked up from a small herd of rabbits with a box of food pellets in her mouth. She seemed excited to see me, so I assumed she was a friend of Twilight’s.
“Hi, Singspiel, want to help me feed the bunnies?” she asked in a hushed tone, as if she felt the need to whisper. She set down the box and flipped her pink hair out of her face. “Twilight said you’d be coming.”
I approached her with force, to purposely scare her. She took a couple steps back and hung her head.
“Please don’t run so fast, you’re scaring my friends.” She said a little louder, as if she was attempting to be stern and assertive.
“And I’m assuming they are very good friends of yours, I am dreadfully sorry.” I said with a twinge of sarcasm.
The dark laughter stirred again, this time with an additional phantasmal whisper: “Good one.” I felt as if the back of my skull was being occupied by a presence other than my own.
“Thank you for apologizing. Would you like to see my birds?” She asked politely.
“Sure…” I said with hesitation.
I followed her easily, for she flew very close to the ground as if she was too scared to live and fly even five feet in the air. We soon approached a tree with a flock of nesting birds of various varieties.
“Hello lovelies! I brought a friend today!” She said to the flock, most of them seemed uninterested. “Let’s show her that trick I taught you!”
Some of the birds stirred to prepare for said performance, but a red disturbance flew through the tree at top speeds, knocking some of the birds over and de-leafing a vast amount of the tree.
“Did you do that?” The shy one asked, seeming annoyed and angered with my presence already.
“No I did not. Was it a ball? I don’t have mind powers, or anything. “ I replied snidely.
“No one is around here.” She said after she looked around hastily. She bent down to see if any of the birds were injured. “This isn’t very funny, you hurt my friends.”
“I hurt your friends? First, I didn’t shake the tree or even touch it. And second, they’re only birds. Animals don’t have the same compassion as other beings do. You replaced real interaction of ponies your age with animals because they don’t judge you. You feel as if you can’t live up to anyone’s standards so you take care of so many different animals because they don’t understand interactions. They only love you because you feed and care for them. I bet if I was holding the bird seed bag, things would be different.”
She looked up from a fallen Blue Jay with tears in her eyes as she said softly: “It’s not true. I have friends…”
I stood tall and said loudly “You, have a problem.”
She began to weep hysterically and struggled as she squeaked out: “Please leave. You are upsetting me and you are no longer welcome here.”
I turned and left through a small wooden gate.
Author's Note
I do not hate any of them. Next will be Applejack and Rarity. It's just her character. Sing is going through tough stuff and feels the need to bully. Don't hate because I offended your favorite character. Hate it because my story is pointless, or because my writing style is shitty.
But, thanks. At least I offended someone! Which means the words I wrote, were true.
I did not know where to go. I trotted at a medium pace down the path to the left of that small gate, when I come on to a fork in the road. I sat and hesitated for a small moment. The back of my skull felt occupied yet again as it did a faint whisper.
“Go left.” It uttered as I shook from the tone it used.
Not wanting to anger my new, friend, so to speak, I ran down the left path at my top speed. Not paying attention to my surroundings, I ran past a large apple orchard. I saw that same yellow filly from that horrid social gathering they called a party, so I decided to give her a piece of my mind.
As I approached the young one, she neglected to notice me. I stopped and thought for a moment.
“If I upset her and make her cry, I might… feel bad. She’s really little, and…”
I heard a voice coming from about twenty feet away.
“Singspiel!” A mare’s voice beaconed.
I turned to find an orange pony in a cowboy hat. We made eye contact and I decided to run towards her. Maybe another of Twilight’s friends? I chuckled again. This is beginning to be easy.
“You’re here to help buck apples, right?” She asked while looking me up and down. “Well, uh, I don’t know how to put this, partner. You look a little to… scrawny to buck. Why don’t you hang around in the cart or pick up the ones we miss?”
I nodded and followed her to a harness, when a large red colt appeared. He looked like he had been doing this for years; he was big and looked like he could kick me about a mile away.
“Now, Mac, this is Singspiel. She’s gonna pick up the apples ya miss and probably talk your ear off like them city slickers usually do. She’s a friend of Twi’s.” She reassured the gentle giant.
I drew an angry face, but rapidly changed back to a sweet fake smile when they both looked back to me. The orange athletic mare left to take charge of something else, while Mac and I began to walk down the orchard’s many tree lines.
“So, I just pick these missed ones up?” I asked
“Eeyup.” He simply replied.
He bucked a mighty tree with such force, yet no leaves fell. About fifty apples fell from the trees and landed in his dilapidated wagon. Five or so were left on the ground, so I picked them up with my magic and tossed them with little care, into the wagon. We continued like this for a few minutes, in complete silence before I decided to bombard him with questions.
“Do you like hard labor?”
“Eeyup.” He stated, again.
Being upset with this, I decided to ask him a question he would HAVE to answer differently.
“Do you hate your sister? Is she too bossy?” I demanded as I picked up about three apples and tossed them in the wagon again.
“Nope.” He replied.
I felt anger bubble up inside me. Then, I saw yet another flash of red and heard a crunching noise. Almost like eating. I discarded the noise and went back to my work. As I zoned out and continued to do the monotonous work of caring after discarded apples, I kept hearing the noise.
“Do you know any other words than yes and no?” I asked angrily. I was getting sick of the silence, and mostly the chewing.
“Eeyup.” He stated. AGAIN.
I almost completely lost it. I decided to give him a scenario that he couldn’t just say yes or no to. I will get him to talk, dammit!
“Ok, so let’s say that the moon is going to crash into your farm if you don’t eat fifteen blueberry pies and give half your apples to Princess Celestia without pay, so she may throw them at ongoing trains? What do you do?”
He said nothing as the chewing sound began again. My hair puffed up and I began to get enraged.
“You are either a simpleton or you are so mentally disturbed that you feel the need to express your feelings in ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Do you feel the world is as black and white as yes and no? Or are you too shy to function so you pretend to be so very unintelligent that people disregard your existence?” I ran in front of his pull cart and reveled at his hooves. “TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!” I demanded while throwing a small fit.
He nudged me to the side so he could pass. It was the end of one large line of trees. He picked up speed and ran towards a barn, his sister, and several apple barrels. I followed him out of pure curiosity.
I approached the two, then the orange one looked towards me with a half-smile.
“Mac tells me you were eating apples instead of helping out.” She accused.
“No. To be honest, I was picking them up and talking his ear off, like you told him I would.”
“Now, kid, I know honest better than all y’all. And my brother here, wouldn’t lie. It’s the Apple family way. He says you ate about… ten or twelve apples.”
“No. I couldn’t even fathom eating ten apples.”
“I can eat TWICE what you ate!”
“Well, considering that I didn't eat any apples, then you can’t eat any apples.”
“What in tar-nation…”
“I ate a grand total of zero apples. If you double nothing, you have two nothings, and nothings aren't an accurate unit of measurement.”
“Now, I was never good at the maths, but I recon there must be some apples missin’ from the wagon.”
I thought for a fraction of a second. “There are twenty apple trees in a row in your orchard. And, there are about fifty apples per tree-“
“Fifty? Darn tootin, that’s a mighty number.” She interrupted with excitement
“Back to logic, thank you. Fifty apples per tree, twenty trees. That’s on average, a thousand apples.” I said snootily while nudging the wagon over. “Does this look like a thousand apples?” The apples started rolling out of the wagon and getting dusty and possibly bruised.
“What have you done? I recon you better skedaddle before you ruin something else. You done hurt my feelings and hurt my apples. Now, get, you!” She said in a slightly angry, slightly annoyed tone.
I began my run out of this dreadful place, but not before kicking over another large barrel for good measure.
The dark wings fluttered again, as my skull became non vacant. “Heh. I knew you were going to kick another barrel. You little hellion.”
I jumped the fence and began to run back towards town.