MLP: My Son, the Crime Fighter

by ngrey651

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Original Character, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cheerilee, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 5785

The young Squirt the Changeling is without a father. Luckily, Shinedown T. Mare, Twilight Sparkle's friend, has a solution...adopt him!...and teach him the tools of his trade the same way Twilight and HER friends have taught THEIR children...

Squirt, a foal of Changeling Blood, hasn't got anyone to look after him, but Shinedown T. Mare has a plan: to adopt the kid and care for him. One problem: he doesn't know a thing about being a dad. Luckily his friends, from Twilight to Fluttershy to Rainbow Dash, DO know a thing or two about being parents...can they help him and Squirt, or will their own hang-ups end up hurting their efforts? Only time shall tell...

Appletini, Bookworm, Brainy, Drizzila, Jack N' Box, Marzipan, Precious are property of MagicMan001. Squirt, on the other hand, is my own creation, as is Shinedown and the "Sparkle Land" cast. All other characters belong to Lauren Faust, naturally.

Published 2013-02-18 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-18 14:50:01 UTC

My Son, the Crime Fighter

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

This is my Son, the Crime Fighter, Pt.1

My name is Shinedown T. Mare. I may not inspire the most confidence…but I'm an officer of the law. A member of the Peacekeeping Council of Special Investigations, here in Equestria on a request from an old friend, Sheriff Applejack, I came here to check out stolen silver and meet with an old, dearly beloved former flame.

What ended up happening was something else entirely. I had to prove a mixed breed pony innocent of theft. And now he's marked for death unless I do something.

See, I had to establish his alibi to prove he didn't do anything wrong. I had to PROVE he was at his house. And there was only one way to do that…get a witness.

And I got one. The real thief, who was hiding at his house, waiting for a chance to plant evidence to frame poor little Squirt. But Pipsqueak Cobbletrot, Esquire, didn't like me accusing him of theft much. He swore he'd kill Squirt.

I had to protect this kid. He's got NOBODY. So I decided to take action…

"You're ADOPTING him." Twilight Sparkle stated, mouth hanging slightly open, the purplish-furred pony blinking in surprise as Shinedown began scribbling down his signature on some papers at a desk at the town hall. Spike the dragon sat on her back, scratching at his head, his green eyes gazing at the papers the blue-eyed stallion was writing on, a confused expression lingering on his draconic face before HE spoke up.

"But...I mean, can you do that? You're not even…I mean, can you afford it? On your salary?"

Shinedown frowned and looked back at up at Shinedown, his dark blue eyes glittering as his face became a pillar of resolution, his hoof gripping the quill tightly. "I'll just make DO." He said.

"But you're so young to be-" Twilight began to say, Shinedown raising a hoof up to stop her right there as the white-furred Rarity entered the town hall with HER daughter, stopping to pick up some tax forms from a nearby secretary at a desk, Precious listening to an MP3 player, waving her head back and forth and doing a bit of a dance as she did so, looking briefly over at them.

"I'm older than YOU!" He told her.

"Well, my husband and I-" Twilight began. "This was a decision we reached after careful-"

"The only way Squirt the Changeling will ever be safe is if he becomes Squirt, son of the future chief of police." Shinedown insisted. "I've been working hard, Twilight. One day I'm going to be police commissioner. I just need to hold out a little longer and I'll finally be able to really make a difference on a much larger level here in Equestria. My years of experience over in New York City has really paid off."

"But you don't know anything about being a dad!" Spike said. "I mean, your dad's always out deliverin' water and your mom died way back-"

Shinedown visibly flinched and Spike cringed when he realized he'd hit a sore spot. "He didn't mean it like that, Shinedown." Twilight said quickly, shaking her indigo maned head back and forth like a maraca as Shinedown put the quill away and stepped away from the desk, turning around and looking at the long, wooden walls of the town hall.

"…I'll just figure it out as I go along. Isn't that what all of you did?" He asked stiffly, Rarity stopping inches from leaving the city hall as she turned to look squarely in his direction.

"WHAT was THAT?" She asked, her voice rising up as she brushed her luscious purple hair back, stomping over at him and wheeling him around with her hooves. "I will have you KNOW good sir that parenthood is very much a challenge in every possible way! It is NOT to be taken lightly, we did NOT "figure it out as we went along"!"

"It isn't like there's a book on the subject. Not one that's helpful." Shinedown told them, thinking back to the five hours he'd spent reading parenting books last night, making sure he got a grand total of three whole hours of sleep!

"You should do what WE did, find time to spend with other parents!" Rarity insisted, walking over to a nearby brochure stand and pulling out one, holding it up for the law officer to look over. In fact, the Sparkle Land carnival is coming into town this upcoming "Family Appreciation Day Weekend" and I intend to take Precious there. She's an IMMENSE fan of Twinkle."

"Sparkle Land?" Shinedown stated, his mouth slightly agape as Precious's eyes lit up at the mention of "Sparkle Land" and she pulled the ear buds out of her ears, holding a hoof up dramatically, pumping into the air.

"Buckin' Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle!" She proclaimed.

"Buck yeah, sparkle-sparkle!" Spike cheered.

…

…

…

…June 20th, 1:02 PM, Sparkle Land

Sparkle Land, the land where dreams come true. Everything about sparkle land was centered around all things glittery, starry and bright. The fun house mirrors were as smooth as silk to the touch, golden frames a glitter around each one, with the roller coaster's carts showcasing big, bright golden stars at the front. The "Shooting Star Coaster" was the fastest and longest roller coaster in all of Equestria, while riding on it you became a golden blur as you whizzed across a silver track over the brightly-lit neon signs below, well contrasted with the pleasant bedazzling colors of every single game tent.

The Ferris wheel was what got Shinedown's attention though. It looked like a giant sun, with different "planets" for people to sit in as it went around and around and around, calming and rhythmic like the beating of a heart. And speaking of "hearts", the heart of the place was the "Sparkle Show Extravaganza", in which so many gathered to see the beloved "Sparkle Stars" perform their cute little space epic for the kiddies, every single day of the carnival.

And without a doubt, it became clear that "Sparkle Land" was, to young Squirt the changeling, heaven. His sickly yellow eyes had a new light to them, a sense of joy filling his normally subdued and demurred face as he happily bounced around, resting his head on his clasped hooves as he "boinged" his way over to the Sparkle Show Extravaganza facility, where the actors for the show spent preparing for said show.

"He's like a kid at Hearth's Warming Eve." Shinedown realized as he walked alongside Sheriff Applejack, who was taking HER child, Appletini, to the show as well along with Big Mac, who had brought he and Cheerilee's child, Bookworm, to see the carnival too.

"I see it almost every year." Appletini said proudly as he sipped on a large Cotton Candy milkshake through a gigantic swirly straw, nodding over at Shinedown as the rest of the Mane Six made their way towards the Extravaganza house. Though in term of sheer joy and ecstatic feelings, it was obvious that the truest fans of the show were Squirt, Pinkie Pie and her son Jack N' Box, who were now ALL bouncing together as they chanted in unison "Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle" like they were doing a conga line.

"I'm surprised y'all don't wanna go on the Shootin' Star Coaster. Y'all usually love goin' on that with Rainbow Dash." Applejack admitted to Pinkie Pie as Drizzilla actually SMILED at her mom. This was a place where the two could genuinely do something together AND have fun doing it, and as hard as it was for Drizzy to warm up to her mom, there was still genuine gratitude in her grin.

"Normally yeah, but come on!" Pinkie Pie insisted. "It's almost time for the Sparkle Show!"

"Hold it right there!" A melodramatic voice rang out as every single one of them cringed, slowly turning to look squarely at the security guard that held a megaphone up in their direction. And not just ANY security guard. But a certain loud-mouthed, overly pretentious, blue-furred, light-blue maned braggart of a magician who was evidently so down on her luck she had to take whatever jobs she could…Trixie L. Mare.

"Hello, Trixie." Everyone said with various levels of enthusiasm, some obviously faking it (coughcoughRainbowDash), overs more considerate (Twilight Sparkle) save for Shinedown, who smiled at her. Rainbow Dash was actually smiling too though, but not because she was happy to see Trixie, but because in her head, she was imagining Shinedown's sister falling into the dunk tank over and over.

"Um…why are you here?" Brainy asked, frowning a bit. He was not one who suffered fools lightly, and Trixie, though talented, was a show off. There was nothing he disliked more than anyone who wore their ego on their sleeve. The irony was obviously lost on him, considering his pride was bigger than a blimp.

"Is it not obvious? The magnificent Trixie not merely does some of the FINE voices for the show…" Trixie laughed as she brushed some of her hair back. "She does so much more! When you think of Beatrix Lulamoon Mane, you think SECURITY. When you think SECURITY, you think Beatrix L. Mane!"

"Your middle name is Lulamoon…so is your middle name-?" Bookworm began to ask Shinedown as he cringed.

"Beats my MOM'S job." Brainy said. "My mother, good sir, is a book jockie. Basically, she works for tips and just goes "shh" every five minutes."

"Brainy, I'm not a--"

"Book jockie!"

"Brainy, I'm NOT--"

"Works for tips."

"Brainy--"

"Goes 'shh'!"

"So much for "Family Appreciation Day Weekend"." Precious commented wryly.

"Well gosh, wouldja look at the time, y'all'd better get inside!" Big Mac said, realizing they needed a distraction and quickly shoving everyone inside of the Sparkle Show Extavaganza building as Trixie yelled out a "HEYYY" after them, running in after them as they looked around the inside. Just like the carnival grounds themselves, everything was starry and glittery, only it was all contrasted against the dark blue walls and ceiling of the facility, designed to evidently give those within a sensation of being in deep space.

"Ooh, look! Sparkle!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, flying forward and tightly grabbing the big, fluffy mascot of Sparkle Land, her arms embracing him eagerly as she glomped him with joy. "Sparklllllle!"

POP! The head came flying off and Fluttershy "eeked", leaping up into the air and landing in her husband's arms as he grinned sheepishly, Shinedown blinking in surprise as Pinkie shrieked. "GAH! His head came off!"

"Buckin' HECK, girl, you don't even know what you be cloppin' to, head's flyin' off and I mean, BUCK!" Precious gasped.

"Whadda we do, whadda we do? Does this count as murder?!" Pinkie Pie screeched.

"Let's face it, we always KNEW Pinkie Pie would one day kill somebody." Jellybean sighed.

"Guess you're gonna need a lawyer. Hey, Shinedown, you'll defend my mom, right?" Jack N' Box asked as Shinedown smacked his face with his hoof, groaning.

"It's a costume. And you can't go around touching everything." A voice rang out, all of them turning to see somebody taking off the big fuzzy outfit for Twinkle, Sparkle's compatriot in the show, revealing the young, fresh face of a long haired and dark-skinned pony, who put the large, round head of Twinkle down on a mahogany table nearby. The being blinked at them as he looked them over, turning to Trixie. "Friends of yours?" He asked.

"My brother invited his stupid friends to Trixie's workplace." Trixie sighed, Precious letting out a "rowr" as she looked this tall, dark and handsome stranger over, Rarity cringing at that.

"Shinedown T. Mare? Oh, yes! I know you! You defended that changeling in court. It's a good day for my kind." The dark-skinned pony said, twisting back some of his hair with a hoof as he cheerily grinned at them. "I'm the guy who plays Twinkle. The name's Philly. I'm half-changeling myself. Little victories like that go a long way in the public eye. We changelings are getting more accepted with every day thanks to the efforts of people like you."

"Wait. Your voice…it's very…um…" Twilight struggled to find the words.

"To put it bluntly, my mother would like to know how you, a stallion with a considerably alluring and deeply entrancing voice, could play a character who sounds like Betty Boop on helium." Brainy stated bluntly.

"Please excuse him." Twilight said quickly. "He just has a tendency to say whatever's on his mind."

"Well actually, our show's pre-recorded by voice actors. Trixie actually does my voice. She raises her octaves quite well-"

"Theydon'tneedtoknowEVERYTHING!" Trixie said quickly. "…Betty Boop? Ohhhhhh." She moaned, hanging her head.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Twilight said repeatedly, bowing her head again and again.

"Showtiiiime! Dingalingaling!" A voice rang out, a few other people entering the room, including a gryphon with a large tuft of dark black hair at the front of his head, and a lamb "furry", one of the many anthropomorphized animals that were immigrants to Equestria from other continents on Mobius. The lamb scratched his head with a furry white paw as the gryphon looked over at Trixie. "Ah, what the bleepin' bloody buck's goin' on?" The gryphon asked. "Who're they? Friends of yours, John?"

"Friends of mine?" The lamb asked. "No, wait, I know…you're Pinkie Pie. I've given you autographs as Sparkle." It said, chuckling a bit. "You're one of my biggest fans!"

"Oh, ABSOLUTELY, we just had to come check your show out as soon as possible!"

"Wait a minute. You." John the Lamb blinked over at Shinedown. "You're that police officer. The one that was on the news with the bioroid two nights ago. Shinedown T. Mare. "Let me guess, Achilles, you turned to a life of crime to pay off your gambling debt?"

"WHAT? Really? Achilles, really…I know you owe me two thousand bucks, but a life of crime ain't worth it." Philly insisted, shaking his head back and forth, hair flipping around.

"I ain't done nothin' and I said I'd pay you. Bleepin'…I'll bet YOU could use him, though. The boss was really lettin' you have it yesterday over you needin' to do more stunts."

Appletini rubbed his chin. "That's right, you're the one that does all those jumps and handstands, right?" He asked. "I've always caught them on tape."

"Sometimes I wonder if maybe the boy ain't right." Applejack sighed.

"The boss wants Philly here to start doin' fancier stunts. I imagine he's a-gonna make you jump through a ring of fire one of these days. Why don'tcha have the lawyer here sue him so you can get something outta this?" Achilles laughed.

"Hey, I can do fancier stunts if I just put my mind to it." Philly protested.

"Is it me, or are they kinda at each other's throats?" Squirt realized as Shinedown glanced over at him. He was quick to pick up on this sort of thing…that was good.

"Look, it's almost curtain time." Trixie said as she held up one of the costumes, this one a large, bulky figure that was obviously a bad guy, with a drooping jaw, crazily lit eyes and spiny antennae rising up off the bulbous head. "We need to get your costumes on. Mr. Achilles?"

"Okay, okay." Achilles sighed, getting into the costume. "Couldja zip me up?" He asked as Trixie zipped up a large zipper at the back end of his costume, the other two getting into their costumes as well. "The main show's soon to begin…"

"Right, er…um…Trixie, could…could you…" Phillip nervously mumbled out as Trixie visibly blushed, an awkwardness hanging steadily in the air as Trixie zipped up HIS costume, but didn't even try to look at him as she did it.

Something was…off…about the two, Shinedown realized. They were acting almost like…

He glanced over at Fluttershy as she stood by her husband Marizpan, and she nervously blushed and looked away from HIM as he did the same. Then it came time for John to be zipped up.

"So how are you liking your new job here?" Shinedown decided to ask his sister.

"Oh, it's fine! Really! No pressure…" She murmured, chewing on her lip and slightly scratching at the back of her neck with her other hoof as John frowned at her.

"You're doing it again!" He told her, an angry glint coming to his dark brown eyes. "That's a bad habit! Don't ever do that on stage! You'll make the show look like trash!"

"What a LOUT." Jack N' Box muttered. "I may never watch this show ever again." He told the others, taking out his camera as they slunk outside of the facility and headed for the open-air auditorium to sit down and watch the show.

"You've really been watching it for a long time, haven't you?" Twilight asked as Appletini grinned a little with pride.

"He's been recordin' that show every time it came on since he was three. Got every single piece of merchandise there IS. That's dedication!" Bookworm said, putting an arm around Appletini.

"I was going to use the term "obsession"." Brainy remarked with a roll of his eyes.

"Jeez, know-it-all buckin' jerk. Do you ever get tired of being right?" Precious snapped.

"That shall only happen when you all stop being wrong. Which I don't think's gonna happen anytime soon."

SCENE OF UNIMAGINABLE VIOLENCE

"Well, that coulda gone better." Pinkie Pie muttered nervously as everyone stood outside of the Sparkle Show Extravaganza facility.

"How does a suit catch on fire so RANDOMLY?" Jellybean asked. "I mean…geez! It was everywhere!"

"This is exactly why you should never smoke. Especially not in-costume. Anybody stupid enough to do that DESERVES what they get." Brainy snapped.

"The suit WAS made from all-natural pony hair, donated and woven into high-compound fiber, the stuff is quite flammable." Bookworm added, poor John's screams still echoing in the air as the paramedics wheeled him off to the hospital. "But to somehow light up a costume using an e-cigarette?"

"Again. I repeat. Never smoke." Brainy said, Marzipan cringing as the pegasus quickly swallowed his own pack of cigarettes and let out a smoky BURP for a moment before putting an arm around Jellybean.

"Whaddya say we all go hit the carnival games?" He asked of the others, his distinct German accent slightly ruined by the fact he'd just choked down a whole carton of cigarettes to hide them from his wife. "I know all the ones that are rigged which we can avoid."

"I wanna go get some food. I'm STARVING." Appletini remarked as he rubbed his stomach, which let out a bit of a grumble, Big Mac, Bookworm and Applejack's stomachs all simultaneously grumbling too as Shinedown saw an opportunity.

"Oh yeah, I think Squirt and I could use a snack too." He said, patting Squirt on the shoulder as the six of them headed for the food court, which was located just across from a large "Watch the Red Card" table of card games, which had a considerably impressive amount of people around it. Big Mac was ordering up some fried dough as Shinedown took notice of Applejack's eyes drifting continuously over to the card games…a slight twitch faintly visible in her hooves…

"Hey, hey, can I have a lollipop with a wig on it too?" Appletini asked as he patted his mom's side, pointing at the lollipop Big Mac had so generously gotten for Squirt and Book Worm, which had a cotton candy "wig" on the top.

"No, you'll spoil your dinner, Appletini." Applejack insisted.

"Aw, c'mon, mom!" Appletini whined. "We NEVER get to enjoy food like this!"

"I said no, Appletini. I want you ta respect mah decision." His mother insisted, tipping her wide-brimmed hat down at him as she nodded firmly, Shinedown flinching a bit at the slightly whinier pitch that Appletini was getting.

"Ohhhhhh!" Appletini "harrumphed", crossing his arms as Applejack shook her head.

"Just get a lollipop, n' nothin' more until AFTER dinner." She told him, heading off for the card table, plopping down in a chair as she faced the cards, her green eyes aglow with a new light Shinedown had never seen. "…hit me." She said, putting down a few bits of gold and looking up at the blackjack dealer, the "Watch the Red Card" pony glaring a bit over in her direction. He was SURE he'd seen her somewhere before, but…where?

The dealer put down a card. "…one more." Applejack said quietly, her voice steely and resolute as Shinedown pretended not to be listening, his back fully turned to face Squirt, Big Mac, Appletini and Bookworm, who were all eating their food as he waited for the vendor to make him a fried dough. "…I'll stay. Show me what you've got."

The dealer muttered and put down his cards, going bust in the same amount of cards as Applejack grinned. "Wanna go double or nothin'?" She chuckled.

Shinedown moved Squirt away from the food court as he shuddered a bit inside. He had heard that kind of cocky voice all too many times from people who were moments from getting in way over their heads. He did not want to see how this would end. But he made a mental note to come back just in case, because he recognized the dealer of the "Watch the Red Card" card game as a small time loan shark. It paid to keep tabs on people like them.

"Hey, everyone!" Cheerilee called out, coming over to them with Twilight and Brainy. "So glad I finally made it here. Twilight was just talking to me about her daughter…"

"Oh, she's at my husband's home. She wasn't feeling too well. We think she may have the Cutie Pox!" Twilight apologized as Brainy scribbled away on a "Sodoku" pad he had with him. She didn't really want to go into her husband, though...the two had gone through a somewhat...awkward...divorce. "So where have you been?"

"Well I just got back from doing Drizzy a favor, but before that I spent a week in Mobius's most beloved vacation spot, Emerald Beach. Oh, it was wonderful!" Cheerilee said cheerily as she clapped her hooves together as Big Mac visibly gulped. "The first few days were rather dull, but then we went to my cousin Apollo's house in Tuscany. He was so sweet. He decided it was his job to make sure we had fun, so he led me by the hooves and took me to ALL of the most beautiful hang-outs. We had the best time!"

"Heh-heh…uh…good thing he's yer cousin…" Big Mac grumbled under his breath.

"Well, he's not REALLY my cousin. Anyhow then, on Tuesday…"

"Somepony's jealous." Brainy chuckled.

"BRAINY!" Twilight said. "I am so, so sorry, he just-"

"Are you familiar with the term "tact", little foal?" Shinedown said coldly, giving the kid a glare.

"Tact is just saying things that aren't true."

"No, it is saying things that are not HURTFUL." Applejack snapped as she walked over. "Twilight, you gotta get ANGRY with 'em. I'm talkin' bustin' his backside with a crack for his wisecracks. Ya gotta show him he can't talk bad 'bout people you care about!"

"Applejack, I don't believe that using "the belt" really helps…" Twilight murmured as Shinedown rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

Hmm…

…

…

…

… June 20th, 2:02 PM, Sparkle Land's "Shooting Star Coaster"

"Ya know what I like to do on roller coasters like this? I like to put my arms up aaaaaall the way down." Rainbow Dash said cheerily to her daughter as she, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and THEIR children boarded the "Shooting Star Coaster", Marizan hacking up little smoke whisps into the air as Fluttershy sighed. Jellybean was sitting down in the very front cart, having snuck in front of Jack N' Box and Pinkie Pie, who looked a bit saddened at being cheated out of their favorite place on the coaster.

"Jellybean, you stole their place!" Fluttershy told her as she shrugged, Shinedown frowning as he and Squirt got in the back cart, Squirt nervously clinging to Shinedown with one hoof, not totally sure about this.

"Yeah, you spoiled BRAT! Go to the second cart." Drizzila snapped at Jellybean as she stuck her tongue out at her.

"Finders keepers losers weepers."

"But we found it first." Pinkie Pie said, scratching her head.

"Well I found it BETTER, so YAHHH." Jellybean said right back, craning her head in their face, practically spitting out a defiant, nearly incoherent yell.

"…can't argue with that. I guess." Jack N' Box said with a shrug as he and Pinkie Pie sat down. "Y'know, for a second there, she kinda reminded me of Uncle Jeremiah."

"I KNOW, that elongation of the "ahhh" was SO Uncle Jeremiah!" Pinkie agreed. "…until, y'know, the hat incident." She sighed, Jack N' Box blushing. He had thought she'd forgotten about his incredibly botched attempt at a "self-cleaning top hat", hanging his head a bit in shame as Fluttershy prepared to sit down in the front cart with her daughter, Jellybean holding up a hoof.

"Hold on, ma! I wanna sit alone."

"Now sweetie, the rules say that children under the height of-" Fluttershy began, pointing a hoof behind her at a large sign that showed Sparkle holding up the rules of the "Shooting Star Coaster".

"Bah, everybody knows they made up those rules to separate the young! Keep 'em weak. Away from the parents. Let her sit there. Little kinder has got to grow up STRONG." Marizpan insisted, knowing this was a battle that neither he nor Fluttershy was going to win. Fluttershy let out a quiet, sad sigh as she sat next to Marzipan, who put an arm around his shoulder as Shinedown frowned darkly at this.

Fluttershy sniffed at the air. "You've been smoking again." She said, frowning at him.

"Oh, Fluttershy, it helps me relax, and we're not in our house-" He began to say as the roller coaster took off.

"Arms up?" Rainbow Dash asked Drizzila as her daughter nervously raised her trembling arms up, the "Shooting Star Coaster" carts climbing steadily higher and higher up a large incline which would soon lead to a dramatic 75 degree drop. "You ready?"

"I guess so." Drizzila said nervously as they finally peaked at the top of the incline, whooshing all the way down as she held her arms up high, feeling the wind flowing freely through her mane, an exhilarating rush of excitement flowing through her body as she grinned. "WOAH! This is AMAZING!" Drizzy laughed happily, the carts racing along the track as Squirt finally let go of Shinedown and put HIS arms up to as they went down another incline.

"I know, right?" Rainbow Dash laughed. "I go this fast almost all the time, it's so much fun, isn't it?"

"Buck yeah!" Drizzy hollered. "WOOOO!"

"It's just like flying, y'know!"

"Yeah!...yeah. just…just like flying." Drizzy said cheerily…inwardly flinching as a sinking feeling began to empty out the contents of her once-cheerful soul, that painful reminder that she, the progeny of the two best fliers in Equestria, was unable to fly herself loudly screaming at the back of her mind.

"SECONDHAND SMOKE is a considerably dangerous threat to people's lungs!" Fluttershy yelled out over the roaring of the wind that was rushing past her ears, Shinedown flinching as he saw her and Marizpan go at it. It was quickly turning into more than just "I don't want you smoking" and into "I will force feed you every one of your stupid "death sticks" if you keep smoking".

"It's just a couple cigarettes a week!"

"DEATH STICKS!"

"Fluttershy, C'MON!"

…

…

…

… "Uggggghhhhhh…"

Unfortunately, fried dough and roller coasters didn't mix well. In fact, carnival food and roller coasters PERIOD didn't mix well. All of them were staggering off the roller coaster and down the stairs, green in the face as a Mountain Dew as Squirt struggled not to collapse on the ground and vomit.

"No…more…coasters…" Drizzila groaned out. "NNNNGGGGHH…"

The only exception was Rainbow Dash, who shrugged as she headed over to Big Mac, who was approaching her with Bookworm. "How about we go get something for their stomachs?"

"Eeeeyup." Big Mac agreed as they trotted off, Drizzy holding her head in her hooves as she and the others sat down on a nearby bench, Marzipan vomiting into a waste basket nearby, his cigarette box being buried at the bottom as Shinedown inwardly grinned at this little private victory…then turned greener than ever as he saw Rainbow Dash, Big Mac, Cheerilee and Bookworm approaching with stacks of food in their arms.

"Double NNNNGGGGHH." Drizzila moaned. "TRIPLE NNNNGGGGHH. QUAD-BUCKIN-UPLE NNNNGGGGHH…"

"Nothin' like good ol' fashioned candy apples to perk ya up." Big Mac insisted as he held up some candy apples, Precious trying to suppress her gag reflex.

"I also got some lemonade." Bookworm offered as Big Mac raised an eyebrow at him. "All natural, of course. Fresh-squeezed right in front of me and everything!"

"LEMONADE? Not…cider?" He asked, sighing as he hung his head a bit and then shook it slightly. Sometimes he wondered what he was gonna do with that kid as Cheerilee kept talking to Rainbow Dash about her trip to Emerald Beach.

"Oh, Apollo was such a SWEETHEART. He absolutely made Emerald Beach for me. He was smart, funny, charming, and he spoke with this cute little surfer boy accent you wouldn't believe!" She laughed.

"Surfing, now THAT sounds like fun. We should try that sometime." Rainbow Dash told Drizzila, who put on a fake smile, inwardly gulping. She might have had a hobby of secretly taking care of penguins, but that wasn't mean she could swim like they could. In fact, in retrospect, she DID need to learn how to swim and fast.

"So you…y'all spent a lotta time with this "Apollo" fella?" Big Mac muttered quietly.

"He was so polite to a fault, so generous, so worldly, and so STRONG! You should have felt his arms."

"Gonna take that as a "yes"." Big Mac sighed.

"Sugar-muffin, what's wrong?" Cheerilee asked.

"What he won't SAY is that you've been off in "Amore Central", walking a romantic countryside with a guy named Apollo for a week, you come back ranting and raving about how wonderful he is, he's like, TOTALLY jealous." Drizilla said calmly, Big Mac blushing deeply as Cheerilee's eyes widened.

"DRIZZY! That's something Big Mac shoulda said!" Rainbow Dash proclaimed, groaning and shaking her head back and forth, hair whipping around slightly.

"He CAN'T, he's always too monosyllabic." Drizzila remarked with a raised eyebrow as Cheerilee sighed and pulled out her wallet.

"You're right, Drizzy." She said, Drizzy giving her favorite teacher a "Aw, thanks for saying that" gleaming grin. "Here's a picture OF Apollo." She said, showing them a dark blue-furred pony.

"…okay, maybe he'd feel "stupid" instead of "jealous" had he seen this." Drizzila said as Shinedown blinked in surprise.

"Wait, this stallion has to be around 75 years old." He exclaimed, Big Mac blushing even more.

"Honey-snuggums, do you really think that if I spent a week in Emerald Beach eating and holding hands with a twenty-something year old stallion I would have come back and told you he was a "sweet-heart"?" She asked, putting one hoof up and lifting Big Mac's chin. "I would never say something like that. You might interpret it wrong." She gently insisted.

"Yeah, she woulda called him a "babe"." Drizzila laughed before there was loud shouting echoing through the air, everyone whipping their head to the far right, seeing Applejack being approached by the card shark from before, who was angrily thrusting his hoof into her chest, forcing her back again and again, yelling something about money, but every syllable out of his mouth was almost utterly incoherent due to the copious amounts of SPIT he was splashing at her.

Something lit up in Squirt's eyes as he quickly yanked the nearby trash can off the ground and raced at the card shark, Shinedown hacking and coughing as his extendable shepherd's crook plopped out onto the ground. He held it up, yanking it out to its full length as he raced after Squirt, who leapt up into the air with a "HI-YOOOHHHHH" and SLAMMED the can down onto the card shark's head.

"Bloomin' buckin'-what the?!?" The guy yelled out, his bulky frame proving to be an inconvenience as he tried to pull the thing off. Unfortunately though Squirt had been able to shove it down over his head, it was now stuck in the folds of his neck, which were angrily puffing up in fury and irritation.

And then Shinedown got to work, spinning the shepherd's crook through the air, his crook smacking THIS crook around, banging off against the trash can over and over, the "DONG, DONG, DONG" sound echoing through the carnival like somebody was trying to ring a bell. Everyone watched as Shinedown continued his swift assault, as he flowed around the card shark like a gust of wind, never standing still before Squirt leapt up into the air and slammed both his hooves down hard on the guy's head.

The trash can shattered as the loan shark let out a loud, low groan, then collapsed backwards with a THRUNKA-THUD onto the ground, Applejack letting out a sigh of relief as she wiped some sweat from her forehead. "Thank ya kindly! He was after mah money. He lost it to me fair an' square at that table, shouldn't 'a been comin' after me."

Shinedown could sense it. She was being honest, but…she wasn't being totally honest. There was something she wasn't saying. But then he thought about what had just happened. REALLY thought about it.

Squirt. Squirt, the weakling Changeling who had barely any muscles to speak of, the town wimp, the kid who looked like a stiff breeze would blow him into the next state. Squirt…had responded immediately to the cries of someone in danger, had known what would work WELL on somebody like this…

The thought struck him like he was a bowling pin and Big Mac was aiming for a strike.

Squirt was a natural.

He knew. He knew he couldn't just adopt him as his son. He had to take him on as his sidekick, his partner.

He now had the Robin to his Batman.

"Squirt…" Shinedown spoke up, a big grin stretching across his face as he put a hoof on the little changeling's shoulder. "I've got a proposition for you. Allow me to make you an offer you can't refuse…"