Fast forward to September 21st, 2013. 211 fakers have been executed in my city alone. Anyway, it was about 10:20 A.M. when the whole school was called down for a surprise assembly. While we were going down to the auditorium, everyone was wondering what the assembly was about, except for the teachers. Not a good sign.
When I finally made it, I sat next to my best friend, Caramel Apple, in row D, seat 13. I admit I had a bit of a crush on her even though she was a filly-fooler. Her human name was Kira Chalmers. She was a HUGE fan of a show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. When I finally got around to talking, our principal, Mrs. Silver Cloud, got up to the stage & everyone fell silent almost instantly. "Good morning, students. I am pleased to announce a very special guest... Princess Celestia!". The crowd cheered so loud I thought blood would gush out of my ears. When Celestia came onto the stage, I laughed. I'm serious, not even Crest 3D White toothpaste couldn't get teeth white as her by a LONG SHOT.
"Hello, Rainbow Wings Academy,..." was heard before the Queen of Pasty White was drowned out by the crowd. "... I am here to announce 3 points: Firstly, this world shall be renamed New Equestria!", she continued. My ears started ringing after that was said. "Secondly, construction is underway on my permanent New Equestrian residence next to this wonderful academy.".
Why was she so interested in the academy? "Finally, of utmost importance, I am here to select a second personal student.". Everyone was a deer in headlights & I knew why. Never in Equestrian history had Celestia taught 2 students at once. Whoever was picked would be immortalized in Equestrian history books. "To help me with my decision, I have brought along my current student, Twilight Sparkle.". I knew all about her . She was the librarian of Canterlot, Equestria. Celestia took Twilight under her wing to control her magic after almost destroying an academy she was doing an entry exam for. Big nerd & even bigger bitch. Celestia closed her eyes & looked around, but seemed focused on our particular section. "Are you sure you want to choose him, Celestia? I fear for your safety.", Twilight broke the awkward silence. "I'm sure, Twilight. It seems he needs the most help from me.", Celestia responded. "I'm still not sure-" "Trust me, Twilight. May I see the colt in row D, seat 13?".
You know that awkward moment when everyone's staring at you? You get the picture. "Whoever did this is an AMAZING prankster!", I called out to everyone. When I finally realized this was for real, I went up on the stage. You know the rest: Celestia congratulated me & told me lessons start tomorrow, etc., but no one but me knew what REALLY went on backstage.
Author's Note
Caramel Apple, like all of my original characters, are based on a real person. I will not disclose their real names for privacy reasons.
I'm Lightning Dasher, formerly known as Jared Deadman. Me & my band, Nightmare Side of the Moon, are one of the most popular anti-Celestian bands. I guess I should probably tell you what happened to Earth. It all started at 8:58 A.M. on Tuesday, May 16, 2013. That's when the portal between Equestria & Earth opened up. An Equestrian scientist was doing an experiment on alternate universes when he accidentally opened up the portal. When they finally decided to look on the other side, people thought that what those fuckin' freaks were doing was impressive & founded a new religion called Celestianism. A few weeks later, we all got pony names & appearances. I am what Celestianists call a "faker", someone who doesn't conform to Celestianism to the tee, but still has a pony name & appearance. Me & all the members of the band are fakers. Anyone caught as a faker is taken out in front of the city/town hall & executed.
"I WAS ONLY TRYING TO KEEP YOU SAFE, CELESTIA!"... the backstage feud between Twilight & Celestia was still fresh in my mind at lunch. Hoping to rid myself of it for the moment, I focused on a strange poster I saw while heading into the aud that morning. I actually got to speak with my friends in private about it. That was amazing since I was swarmed by ponies congratulating me & there were guards ay EVERY FUCKING door watching me. I knew I was "special", but God, I wasn't Celestia, not even close. I finally found a stairwell that was unprotected to tell them.
"Guys, I found a weird poster by the aud looking for bands to ridicule Celestia. Auditions will be on the 25th.". "What, so you want us to come to the auditions with you?", Silver Stellar/ Ryan Felner asked with his usual skepticism. "Yes, actually... as a band.". "WHAT?!!! NO!!!". I'm surprised no one heard Caramel's shriek. I'm serious, it was THAT loud. "Oh my God, Caramel's being sane for once.", said Fantasia/ Belinda Kramer. "OH MY GOD, THAT WAS MY MOM, NOT ME!", Caramel replied.
It was true: Her mom was declared insane 6 years ago after throwing Holy Bibles & crosses & screaming, "Satan, be gone!" at the top of her lungs to a cop that pulled her over for speeding. They haven't seen each other much since then.
"But still, what happens if Celestia catches you?", Silver asked. "If Celestia catches me, it'll be thanks to Mrs. Paranoid. Besides, I'll have Onyx here be my body double in case I'm needed beside Celestia & T.S.", I answered. 'Why do I have to do it?", Onyx/ Jimmy Garner wailed. "Come on, you're the only one of us who barely comes anyway, so nopony would be suspicious if you weren't there. No offense.", I told him. "Mmmmm... fine.", Onyx murmured under his breath. "Okay, so we'll meet in the library at 11:30 tomorrow to get everything sorted out.".
When we all agreed on the meeting, we all went our separate ways & that's when things started to spiral out of control.
Author's Note
Sorry I didn't clarify this earlier, but there are 6 endings which, sadly, can't be voted on because of the no-poll rule. 4 of them are horrifying, 1 leaves the damage to a minimal, & there's only 1 good ending.
