My Time with Nightmare Side of the Moon: Part 1

I'm Lightning Dasher, formerly known as Jared Deadman. Me & my band, Nightmare Side of the Moon, are one of the most popular anti-Celestian bands. I guess I should probably tell you what happened to Earth. It all started at 8:58 A.M. on Tuesday, May 16, 2013. That's when the portal between Equestria & Earth opened up. An Equestrian scientist was doing an experiment on alternate universes when he accidentally opened up the portal. When they finally decided to look on the other side, people thought that what those fuckin' freaks were doing was impressive & founded a new religion called Celestianism. A few weeks later, we all got pony names & appearances. I am what Celestianists call a "faker", someone who doesn't conform to Celestianism to the tee, but still has a pony name & appearance. Me & all the members of the band are fakers. Anyone caught as a faker is taken out in front of the city/town hall & executed.