Dino-what?

by Gyro Steambass

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Human, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 1060

"Ever wondered how it is to be sucked out of your world, being thrown into a world full of talking pastel-colored ponies while being turned into a Pterodactyl? No? Me neither, but it happened anyway!"

Okay, let's see… Where to begin? At the beginning of course! I had a pretty boring life. I had a job, no friends, a family full of assholes (with a few exceptions), I had an apartment and I had a hard time paying the taxes. Nothing out of the ordinary. But that all changed at the museum. What happened, you ask? Dinosaurs and talking ponies, that's what happened. To be more precise: I got turned into a Pterodactyl and was thrown into the "wonderfull" land of Equestria. Fortunatly, the Pterodactyl was my favorite animal. UNfortunately, I have no idea how to deal with all this shit.

Rated T (teen) for gore, bad language and: because. Oh yeah, don't expect updates TOO regularly.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-21 15:20:01 UTC

Holy shit.

It was another regular day at Sweet Apple Acres. The sun was shining, Big Mac was plowing the field, Applejack was bucking apple trees and Applebloom was playing with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. All in all, a regualr day. And Applejack didn't have enough time left to buck the neccesary trees. And what is the most logical thing you do when in her position? Just keep on bucking like there's no tommorow. Without asking for help, of course. That would go against her pride.

Where the hell am I? I thought, while floating around in some kind of white void. After getting over the shock of being sucked out of my world by some kind of rainbow colored light, I was slowly freaking out. Why? Because I'm claustrofobic! That's why! I had no idea how big this place was, but it all felt way too small for me.

Calm down, no need to panic. There are no walls here, just a whole lot of... nothing? Wait, if I give it a name, doesn't it become something? Because only things that are can have names and things that don't, they... well... don't. Right? Great, now I have a headache. I was still freaking out, but quite a bit less. In hindsight, I wondered if getting a migraine was really worth it.

Wait... if I can't feel my body,  how can I have a migraine? And there I go again, overthinkong stuff. I tend to do that a lot when I'm bored. But I noticed I was running out of time to overthink stuff, because I felt like I aas falling. Which was exactly the case. And those trees were comming closer WAY too fast for my taste.

"GOD DAMNIT!"

Applejack was about to start bucking the tenth row of trees, she still had ten rows to go, when she heard somepony scream.

"GOD DAMNIT!"

"What?"

BOOM. Something big had crashed in her orchard. And judging by the cracking, it had smashed a few of her trees or the thing itslef had broken. She slowly walked to the landing site, seeing that it wasn't the latter that had broken. At least eleven trees had been utterly destroyed by the thing. The thing in question was layin in a crater covered in a cloud of dust, making it near impossible to see what it was. Until it started moving. It's movements mad the clouds of dust go away. But Applejack almost wished they had stayed. In front of her was a horrible looking creature, which resembled a failed crossbreed between an oversized bird and a dragon.

The creature in question was probably around thrice as tall as her and it's skin was wrinkly a dark shade of orange. It's beak was at least more than one meter long and colored a darker shad of orange, some jagged teeth clearly sticking out of it. It's eyes were on the sides of it's head and too small in comparison to it's head. The back of it's head was odly shaped, like a fin. It's wings looked like those of a bat and looked as if they had fused with it's front legs, claws sticking out of it. It's body was a bit misformed and had nor real shape, except for a crossing between a rectangle and a triangle. It's hind legs looked strong and muscled. And judging by the claws, they were mostly used for grabbing stuff.

It looked around with a confused look on it's face, it's gaze locking with hers.

"Why the hell is that thing wearing a hat?" As soon as she had heard it's voice, she started running. It sounded anything but friendly, and it could probably easily kill her.

Seriously, whatever kind of pony that was, why was it wearing a stetson hat? Why was it orange? Why did it have a tattoo on it's butt? AND WHY AM I A PTERODACTYL?! So many questions and no answers at all. And did you know I had a hard time focussing because of my split vision? At least I could see well enough to see that I had scared the pony away.

"Yeah, shoo." And why is my voice so damn scratchy? I was as tall as the trees around me, and my voice sounded like that? Whoever did this to me sure has a weird sense of humor. But there were quite a few advantages. Because of all this shit I didn't have to worry about rent anymore, no job, no more annoying neighbours and to top it all: I'M A PTERODACTYL!

Wait, doesn't that mean I'm now a predator? Great. That means I have to go hunting. And I doubt I could just stop by a shop. Can you imagine? "Hello! How can I help you?" "Hmmm... I'd like sixhundred pounds of steak and five thousand sausages." "That'll be five thousand dollars. Do you want a bag?" "Nah, I'll just carry it with my legs. BECAUSE I'M NOW A PTERODACTYL." "That would explain why you're standing outside and blocking the traffic." Yeah, not gonna happen. After finishing my retarded inside monologue I made for the woods behind me, tripping a few times because of my new anatomy.

"I wonder what kinds of animal I can find in the forest. Maybe a nice juicy bear?" I said, chuckling softly. Did you know I disgust myself sometimes? No? Well then, now you do.

"Applejack! Calm down!" Twilight said, trying desperatly to calm her paled friend down. As soon as Applejack had stormed into her library she started bombarding her with whatever was bothering her. The only things Twilight had been able to make out of Applejacks frantic rambling were the words "dragon", "help", "orchard" and "trees".

"Explain to me what happened Applejack. Nice and easy, okay?" Applejack nodded nervously and took a deep breath.

"There's a dragon at my orchard and it wrecked sum of mah trees!" the orange mare yelled, barely able to stop her voice from cracking.

"Oh... What?!"

"Ah need yer help before it wrecks all mah trees!" Applejack started shaking Twilight by her shoulders, hoping it would make her hurry up.

Ugh. I hoped I could finally have a normal day for once. Twilight thought to herself, following her panicking friend. But I guess that has to wait for next month.