Twenty Percent Smarter
By Richtus
How could this happen?
How did I let this happen?
And why in the hay did I open my big mouth?
This internal dialogue is interrupted as the audience in the studio starts to applaud and an announcers voice emanates from the speakers overhead.
"Welcome back to Jeopardy! Here is your host, Alex Trotbeck!"
The tan coated host is dressed in a snappy gray suit as he steps up to the podium, his mane and impressive mustache equally gray. His horn glows as he uses his magic to lift up his stack of note cards from the podium, tapping them down neatly in front of him.
"Thanks for sticking with us, everypony! Welcome to the final round of Ponyville Jeopardy. Let's review the scores."
The camera pans over to the first contestant, a gray mare with a blonde mane and tail and an unusual pair of eyes, one looking straight at the camera and the other one wandering off in another direction.
"We have Miss Derpy Hooves with 2800 bits."
"Muffin!" She says happily.
The camera moves on, this time focusing on a cyan mare dressed in a black turtleneck and black eye glasses. Her rainbow hued mane, while usually unruly, has been combed back and tied into a neat ponytail that drapes down her back.
"Miss Rainbow Dash has a very nice 6200 bits."
"Of course." She says primly, adjusting her glasses with a hoof.
Finally the camera comes to the last contestant, a frazzled looking violet unicorn, her normally neat mane in disarray. She is slumped forward in her seat, chin resting on her podium, ears folded down as she shoots a glare in Rainbow Dash's direction.
"And Miss Twilight Sparkle has an unfortunate, negative 7400 bits."
"Grrrr!"
The stallion clears his throat, shifting a bit uncomfortably as he taps the cards on the podium in front of him again.
"Yes, well, time is running short, so let's get started, shall we? The topics for the final round are..."
The camera zooms in on the top row of the huge video wall on the side of the stage, the head of each column lighting up as Alex reads them off.
"Famous Fillies... Potent Pastures... Vicious Vermin..."
The host's voice fades from Twilight as she falls back into her internal thought process, trying to figure out a way to get out of her embarrassing predicament.
"How did it get to this? I'm the star pupil of Princess Celestia!" She screams in her head.
"I'm supposed to be the smart one! How did that....that.....tomcolt....get to be so much smarter than me?!?"
She grunts and puts her hooves on her head as she tries to think back on how this all started.
1 Week Earlier
Twilight was sitting in the middle of the library floor, about to partake in her favorite weekly ritual. Reorganizing the books! She smiled happily as she closed her eyes and concentrated, her horn starting to glow brightly. All of the books started to float up from their shelves, starting to float around Twilight in a circle like a slow and lazy tornado.
One at a time she would bring a book to her face to read the title before whisking it off to its proper place on the shelves. On occasion a particular title would strike her fancy and she would set it in a pile to her side.
"Oh! I've been meaning to read this one! This one too! And this one!"
This continued on until she finally finished her task, settling the last book on the shelf. It was then that she noticed that she had surrounded herself by several pony-high stacks of books, which left very noticeable gaps on the bookshelves.
"Oops. Guess I got carried away again." She giggled to herself as she floated her checklist over to herself, marking off an item on the list.
"Let's see. I still need to take Owlicious to the vet, get Spike's claws trimmed at the spa, and I also need to schedule next weeks reorganization."
She reads over her list before her eyes drift to the mountain of books around her.
"Oh, but I really want to get started on these books! I don't have time for that and my errands." She frowns a bit. "If there was only a way to read these more quickly." She ponders to herself, then suddenly perks up, "That's it!"
She jumps up and over the book pile as she gallops to the shelves, quickly searching for a particular book. With a gasp, she finds her target and floats it down to herself.
"There you are!" She smiles as she reads the title of the book, a special book sent to her by Princess Luna after Nightmare Night a few months ago. "Candid Conjurations and Incredible Incantations, by Starswirl the Bearded."
She giggles with delight as she flips the book open, each page glowing with her magic as she sifts through the contents, "Now where was it....here we go!"
She leans in closer to read, eyes focused, "The Illuminating Information Imbiber. Absorb and retain all information contained within any tome, text, or tale in seconds! Merely hold the item in question while casting the spell and the knowledge will be yours instantly!" She lets out a little girlish squeal as she hops up and down a couple times.
"I've always wanted to try this spell out! But I shouldn't go overboard with this, part of the fun of reading is finding what's going to happen next!"
She reads up on the spell for a few minutes before she feels comfortable with it. Setting the book down, she walks back over to the pile and looks through them for a suitable candidate.
"This will be good practice. You never know when you might need information in pinch!" She says matter-of-factly, lifting up a book to examine, "This one will do."
She goes to the center of the library and sits down on her haunches, floating the book down to press it against her chest, which she clutches firmly with one lifted hoof.
She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, "Here we go..."
Twilight's horn starts to glow brightly as she concentrates on the spell. A ball of light starts to form at the base of her horn and begins to slowly climb up towards the tip, the unicorn biting her lip as she gets ready to release the spell. Almost.....there....
"GANGWAY!"
Twilight's eyes shoot open just in time to see one of her windows slam open and a very distressed looking rainbow colored blur shooting straight at her. Both the blur and the unicorn simultaneously voice their assessment of the situation.
"WAAAAUUUUUUUGH!"
There is a heavy collision as unicorn and pegasus briefly share the some point in space, followed by a muffled explosion of energy, beams of light shooting out the front door and all the windows of the library.
Upstairs, a baby dragon rolls over in his basket, one leg sticking out from the ruffled blanket as he grins in his sleep, "Why sure, Rarity. You can touch my spines....touch them alllll you like." He mumbles before settling again.
Books!
Twilight is surrounded by books! Everywhere she goes there are books! She happily trots down the streets of Canterlot, the book paved streets separating each block made of books. The stores are made of books, and happen to sell books too! Even the restaurants serve book themed dishes, or even books themselves!
This must be a dream come true! All the books she could ever want or need to last the rest of days!
Twilight happily bounces on her hooves as she continues down the street, when suddenly the ground under her shifts, dislodging a couple books and tripping her up. She falls on her face, hooves flailing as she tries to right herself again. She blinks and looks back at what caused her to fall.
The ground shifts again, more violently this time, causing the mare to bounce briefly. She gasps as she quickly stands up again and looks around. All the book buildings are starting to wobble and shake, a few roof top book shingles falling to the street. More and more books are starting to fall, dropping all around Twilight. She folds her ears and turns to run, galloping as fast as she can as the books start to fall quicker and heavier, her breath heavy and fast as she dodges giant dictionaries slamming to the ground, narrowly avoiding getting flattened by monstrous tomes both familiar and new to her.
She only manages to get a few blocks before she starts to run out of breath. Athletics were never her strong suit, preferring to let her imagination run instead of her legs. As she pauses to catch her breath, she glances up to see a sight that makes her heart sink. Canterlot Castle, her second home, made of stunning ivory and gold book bricks, is collapsing and falling right for her, the very tower where she had her entrance exam to Celestia's school, and also met Spike and was taken in by the princess herself, was rushing to meet her. She could only close her eyes and scream as she met her doom.
"AAAUUUUGH!"
Twilight suddenly sat upright, bursting out from under a pile of books, one of them balanced on the tip of her horn. She quickly whipped her head back and forth, looking around in a panic. She soon relaxed and let out a sigh of relief. She was back at the library. It had all been a dream.
She frowned as she looked at the hill of books she was still half buried under. This was not a dream. Yet another book avalanche, and it always seemed to happen around when she was reorganizing the shelves. "Maybe once a week is too often." She thinks to herself.
"Help!"
The unicorn mare's thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a muffled voice next to her, follow by the scrabbling of hooves.
Twilight looks over and finds the source of the noise, a cyan colored rump and hind legs, highlighted by a familiar rainbow tail. It appears that the owner of said tail is buried face first in the books and is having trouble getting out, wings flapping feebly and hooves flailing, trying to get any sort of grip to get loose.
"Help! I'm stuck! Get me out of here!"
Twilight blinks as she finally recovers from the collision, "Oh! Rainbow!" She quickly pulls herself out of the pile and grabs Rainbow's tail in her teeth, tugging firmly. After a few moments of struggling, Rainbow suddenly pops free and goes sailing in an arc over Twilight's head, who is still hanging on to that tail. They both cry out in dismay as they meet the floor with a thump.
Dash is the first to recover, rolling onto her belly and standing up, shaking her head and mane to clear her thoughts. "Whew, thanks for the quick rescue, Twilight'!" She smiles to the unicorn.
Twilight gets back onto her own hooves as she smiles and nods. "Of course, Rainbow. I couldn't leave you stuck there." She giggles a bit, "So are you alright?" She asks, tilting her head curiously.
Dash stretches out her limbs and wings, flapping them a couple times as she looks back at them, then gives a flick of her tail, "Never felt better!" She says, taking a step forward and suddenly going wobbly in the knees, "Whoa!"
Twilight hurries over and presses against her side to keep her upright, "Dash! Are you sure you're alright?" She asks worriedly.
"Just got a little dizzy there. Must have hit harder than I thought."
"What were you doing anyway that caused you to crash in here? Again." She says, narrowing her eyes a bit.
Dash coughs a bit, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof as she grins sheepishly, regaining her balance. "I was trying to mix the Sonic Rainboom with a new trick, but I couldn't quite pull it off today. The Rainboom backfired and flung me this way. What about you? Are you alright?"
Twilight takes this moment to check herself out, lifting each hoof, stretching her legs and so on, "I seem to be alright, aside from a headache." She says, rubbing her head a bit, "Just to be safe, I think we should go see Nurse Redheart, just to make sure there isn't something else we can't figure out on our own."
Dash didn't seem too thrilled with the idea, "Nah, I'm good. I gotta get back up there and try again!"
"But Dash, we really should..."
It was right then that they both heard the sound of galloping hooves rapidly approaching from the path outside the library. They got closer until their owner was revealed, the most fabulous unicorn pony in all of Ponyville, her ivory white coat perfect as always, topped with her deep purple main and ending with her tail. Both mane and tail are normally perfectly curled and maintained, but today they look unkempt. Something was wrong as evident by the quivering lips and eyes about to flow with tears.
Twilight blinks at this scene, knowing something has to be amiss, "Rarity? What's wrong?"
Rarity starts sobbing as she rushes over to Twilight, throwing her forelegs around the mare's neck, "Oh, Twilight! I don't know what to do! Of all the things that could happen, this is the Worst.....Possible....Thi...." She is abruptly interrupted by Twilight clearing her throat.
"Rarity....what is it?" She says flatly, apparently not in the mood for Rarity's melodramatics.
Rarity untangles herself from Twilight and sniffs, coughing a bit as she brushes a hoof through her mane, "Oh yes, sorry.....well....just look." She says, voice still quivering as she steps to the side and looks towards the door, where another visitor has been waiting.
Sweetie Belle is there, Rarity's little sister. The little filly's coat is ivory like her sister's, but her mane is two-tone, pink and lavender. The little one also seems on the verge of tears as she turns her head to the side, revealing a thick glob of.....something...stuck in her mane.
Rainbow Dash ventures closer, narrowing her eyes as she looks at the glob, "What is that?"
Rarity sighs, "Bubblegum. Sweetie and the other Crusaders were trying to earn bubble blowing cutie marks, and apparently something went horribly wrong!" She frowns as she trots over to Sweetie's side.
"I've tried washing it out, and it's just a solid lump! Pulling only hurts her! There is nothing else to do, unless we have to cu....cu...c-c-c-cuuuut her m-m-m-mmmmaaa...." Rarity looks about ready to faint at the thought of having to cut her own sister's pretty mane. She looks to Twilight pleadingly, lower lip jutting out, eyes wide and watery, "Do you have any ideas, Twilight?"
Twilight's ears droop at the sight of the two pathetic looking ponies, "Let me see what I can find!" She says as she quickly moves towards the bookshelves, "Maybe there is something in the Super Naturals book, or even in the..."
"Peanut butter."
All three unicorns stop what they were doing and turn to look at Dash.
"Excuse me?"
"I said peanut butter."
Rarity scowls, "Is this any time to think of your stomach, Rainbow Dash?"
Dash shakes her head as she takes a deep breath.
"Bubblegum is made from a gum base that comes from trees. This base substance is hydrophobic, meaning afraid of water, so it doesn't dissolve in water. The oils and fats produced from peanuts during the process of being becoming peanut butter are also hydrophobic. When the two meet, they tend to want to stick to each other more than they do to the proteins in dry hair. So get a helping of peanut butter and massage it into and around the gum, it will gradually start to come loose. Then just wash your mane like normal afterwards."
Three jaws hit the floor simultaneously.
Dash blinks at them, "What?"
Twilight shakes her head rapidly and looks at the pegasus in disbelief. "Wh...when did you read that, Rainbow?"
Dash tilts her head, "Ya know, I don't really remember ever reading that. I just sort of knew it." She shrugs.
Sweetie Belle has recovered from the initial shock, but Rarity is still staring, mouth open as Twilight trots to the bookshelf and quickly finds the book she needs. She opens it up and quickly finds a certain passage, eyes quickly scanning over the page. She blinks and looks up at Rarity and Dash, "She's right. Peanut butter is one of the quickest and least painful ways of getting gum out of manes." She says, closing the book with a thump.
This jars Rarity out of her shock, head shaking as she nods to Twilight, "I guess it will have to do, even it will be...ugh....messy. Thank you, Twilight darling." She turns to go, then pauses, looking back over her shoulder, "...and I suppose, thank you as well, Rainbow." She smiles as she heads out, "Come on, Sweetie, let's go and get you cleaned up."
"Ok, sis. Thanks, Twilight! Thanks Rainbow!" The little filly calls out as she runs after Rarity.
Twilight closes the door with her magic and looks back at Rainbow, "We really should go see to the doctor, Rainbow."
Dash waves a hoof in dismissal, "Nah, I'll pass."
"Rainbow..." Twilight narrows her eyes.
Uh oh, Dash knows that determined look in the unicorn's eyes. She knows she's just looking out for the well being of a friend, but it's still irritating when she gets bossy like this. The pegasus sighs and lowers her head down, "Fine. Let's go." She says, moving towards the door.
Twilight instantly brightens up, smiling as she opens the door, then pauses as she remembers the mess. "Hang on." She says as she goes to her desk, picking up quill and parchment, quickly writing out a note for Spike, apologizing for the mess and asking him to clean it up while she is out. She then levitates out a nice sized ruby for him to munch on as a gift. She then runs out after Dash, closing the door behind her.
The two mares trot along quietly through the center of Ponyville, both of them not really having anything to say at the moment. They occasionally greet and wave to other friendly and familiar ponies as they travel, still steadily making their way towards the town clinic.
"Miss Twiiiiliiiight!"
A young voice calls out from behind them. The pair stop and turn to see a little yellow filly with a red mane and tail come running up to them, her little red hair bow bobbing as she comes to a stop.
"Oh hey, Applebloom. What's up?"
"Ah'm working on mah homework fer school, but Ah'm stuck on the last question. Could ya help me out right quick, pleeeease?" She asks with a wide smile, her bright eyes seemingly even wider.
Twilight giggles and nods, "Sure, what's the question?"
Applebloom smiles, "It's fer biology. What does...D...N...A stand for?"
"Oh that's an easy one. It's..."
"Deoxyribonucleic acid."
Twilight's eye twitches just a bit as she looks over at Dash, who just grins uneasily and shrugs her shoulders. Twilight huffs and looks back at Applebloom, "Well, there's your answer."
Applebloom tilts her head, looking a bit confused before she smiles and nods, "Well, thank ya both kindly!" She says before taking off just as suddenly as she came.
Twilight eyes Dash again, who shifts a bit uneasily as she rubs at one foreleg with her hoof, "We should keep going, yeah?" She chuckles a bit.
"Yeah...let's keep going."
They carry on down the street, Twilight seeming to have a slight frown, and Dash being a little more on edge. As they pass by Sugarcube Corner, they hear sniffling and sobbing coming from around the corner of the building. The stop and look at each other before going to investigate. They peek around the corner and find a familiar cotton candy pink pony, her normally fluffy mane and tail drooping down towards the ground, having lost a good portion of its normal bounciness.. Her head is lowered, eyes watering as she sniffles.
Twilight trots over and settles down next to her, gently placing a hoof around her should, "Pinkie, what's wrong?"
Pinkie sniffles a few more times as she tries to calm down in front of her friends, "Oh, Twilight, it's awful!" She groans, "I was making a big order for Mr. and Mrs. Cake so they can deliver it to a big party happening in Canterlot, but I ran out of yeast, and I don't have the time to go buy more and make the order at the same time, because without yeast the dough won't rise and if the dough doesn't rise the breads will all be flat and won't taste good and no one likes a flat bread that tastes icky and if the bread tastes icky and the order is late then Mr. and Mrs. Cake will fire me and it will be the 'lose my job' kind of firing not the firing out of a cannon kind of firing!" She gasps and suddenly stands up on all four hooves, "What if they do both!? They'll fire me and shoot me out of a cannon to the moon! I don't wanna go to the moon! I wanna stay here! Bwaaaaaah!" The flustered pony starts bawling right there on the spot, literal fountains of tears pouring from her eyes.
Twilight frets as Pinkie gets more and more panicked, desperately trying to think of a way to at least calm her down. "Pinkie, I'm sure the Cakes wont...."
Dash clears her throat to get their attention, "Try baking soda and lemon juice as a substitute."
Pinkie instantly stops crying as she and Twilight both look at her, "Huh?"
"Make your recipe as normal, but at the end, at enough fresh baking soda and lemon juices to equal the amount of yeast you'll need. On top of that, using this substitute means you won't have to wait for the dough to rise, you can bake it right away and save some time."
They both blink and stare at Dash before a strange stretching noises is heard. It sounds like somepony rubbing their hooves against the side of a balloon, which is quickly followed by a popping noise, Pinkies flat mane instantly bouncing back into its naturally fluffy state. She squeals and boings over to Dash, giving her a tight hug.
"Thank you, Rainbow Dash! You're soooo smart!" She then pauses, "Maybe I should call you.....BRAINbow Dash!" She starts cackling madly, twirling around and falling over onto her back, all four limbs kicking in the air as she rolls back and forth on the ground. She suddenly kicks her hooves straight up, now upright on her hooves again as she bounces around the corner of the building and back into the bakery, giggling all the way, the door shutting behind her.
Dash stares for a moment, always surprised by Pinkie's antics. Twilight doesn't even miss a beat as she grunts in annoyance and continues on towards the clinic. She gave up trying to figure out Pinkie long ago and wants to get this situation with Dash resolved. Dash slowly follows after Twilight, head lowered and ears down.
The pair finally reach the clinic without further interruptions, quickly signing in and waiting their turn to see the nurse. Soon they are called into the examination by Nurse Redheart, the kindly mare that always has a smile to offer to even the most down and out pony. Twilight explains the situation to the nurse and asks that she give them both a check-up, to at least make sure they are in physical good healthy. The nurse agrees and starts on her job.
About an hour later, Twilight stomps out of the examination room, head down and teeth grinding as she glares straight ahead, marching out of the clinic. Nurse Redheart and Dash step out of the room, watching Twilight go. The nurse is clutching a bundle of papers in the crook of one foreleg, notes from one of Dash's sudden knowledgeable outbursts when the nurse happened to mention that the clinic was looking for a better way to deal with Hoof Rot.
Dash gives a little wave and thanks before she flies out of the clinic to catch up with Twilight.
She finds Twilight still trudging along the path back to the library, flying over to lazily float along side of her. "Hey."
Twilight seems to ignore her and keeps walking.
"Hey!"
"What?!"
Dash frowns and lands in Twilight's path, wings flicking briefly before folding up on her back, "What's got you in such a mood?"
"Nothing."
"Pffft, yeah right. Nothing caused you to yell at me and act like someone tore up your favorite book." Rainbow smirks at Twilight.
Twilight suddenly sits down on the spot and sighs, drooping her head, "I'm sorry, Rainbow, I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just frustrated that I can't figure out what's going on."
Dash grins a bit and nods, "Oh, it's alright. I mean, I feel fine since that crash, but I feel like someone suddenly stuffed a book in my head whenever someone asks a question."
Twilight blinks and groans as the realization hits her, clapping a hoof to her head, "Of course, why didn't I think of this earlier."
Dash tilts her head, "Think of what?"
Twilight looks up at Dash again before standing up, "Before you crashed into the library, I was trying out a memorization spell, to help instantly learn everything a book has to offer. But you disrupted me right as I was about to cast it, and well, it must have backfired. I think you may have absorbed every book in the library."
Dash's eyes widen as she listens, sitting down on the path herself this time, "Whoa....that's....kinda cool, but I don't feel any different. I don't feel like I know this stuff, it just comes shooting out of me when needed." She says, scratching her head with a hoof. "It happened when we met Rarity, then Applebloom, then Pinkie, and then with the nurse."
Twilight smiles and nods, starting to perk up, "Well! Now that we know what we are dealing with, we can find a way to undo it! Come on!" She says, starting to trot back towards the library.
Dash snorts and laughs a bit, failing miserably at trying to hide it behind a foreleg, still sitting on the ground as she looks at Twilight with gleaming eyes.
Twilight stops and looks back at Dash in confusion, "What is it?"
Dash's grin widens, "What makes you think I want you do undo this? It's kinda cool."
Twilight frowns a bit, "But my spell misfired and..."
Dash laughs again as she plants her forelegs down and leans towards Twilight with a sly look, "Are you.....jealous?"
Twilight leans back, looking as though she were just slapped, "Jealous? Don't be ridiculous, Dash, we just need to fix this and...."
"HA!" Dash suddenly launches into the air, fluttering over and hovering closely in front of Twilight, noses nearly touching, "I was right, you are jealous!"
Twilight frowns and backs away from the smirking pegasus, "I am not jealous." She says, turning her head away and sticking her nose up in the air, a snobby mannerism she might have picked up from Rarity whenever she got annoyed by something and wanted to shut it out.
Dash giggles, rolling over in the air, "You totally are! Why so eager to undo the spell, huh?" Her eyes narrow as she grins wider still, "Are you afraid I might be.....smarter than you now?"
Twilight's eyes snap open, pupils shrunken as her ears droop. She turns her head slowly to stare at Dash, a look that would make the Royal Guard, or maybe even the Princesses themselves think twice about further taunting the unicorn.
Dash, of course, is not bothered at all, as evident by making a complete foal of herself, sticking out her tongue and making faces at Twilight, "Jealous, jealous, jealous!" She chants, dancing in the air as she giggles.
Twilight bares her teeth, her horn starting to glow, "Why of all the..." The beginning of her tirade in interrupted by a sudden gust of wind blowing around them, followed by a stray newspaper smacking the unicorn right in the face, the glow of her horn instantly fading as Twilight flails her hooves in a brief moment of panic, "Gah!"
She manages to calm herself a moment later, levitating the paper out of her face as she shakes her mane out. She lets out another frustrated sigh as she glances at the paper. Her eyes suddenly widen as she sits more upright, eyes flicking back and forth as she looks more intently at the paper, a wide grin starting to slowly form on her face.
Twilight looks over at Rainbow, who is still doubled over laughing, barely able to stay afloat when she is suddenly bopped on the head with the rolled up newspaper. "Hey! What's the big..."
"Rainbow Dash! I challenge you!"
This makes the pegasus blink in disbelief at the purple mare, "Challenge me? To what?"
"This!"
The newspaper is magically unrolled and thrust in Dash's face where she can see the headline.
COMING TO PONYVILLE!
JEOPARDY!
TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF EQUESTRIAN HISTORY AND TRIVIA!
ALL ARE WELCOME TO ENTER!
Hosted by Alex Trotbeck
Smaller print goes on to give details on how to enter, plus where and when it will be held.
Twilight grins at Dash this time, "We'll see who is the smartest pony here! It starts in less a week!" She stands proudly, challenge confidently offered.
Dash looks at her skeptically, "Well I uhh...."
Twilight smirks, already having prepared the proverbial knife.
"Chicken."
"What."
In goes the knife.
"I said....chicken."
Knife twisted.
"I am not a chicken! You're on, egghead!"
Dash flits down to hover in front of Twilight, the pair glaring at each other for a moment before Dash lifts up a hoof and spits on it, offering it out to Twilight in the same way she and Applejack agree on challenges.
Normally one to hesitate on such a gross display, Twilight doesn't care this time and readily accepts, spitting on her own hoof and slapping it against Dash's.
They both grin defiantly before Twilight turns to head back towards the library, calling back over her shoulder, "Better get yourself ready, Dash. You're going to need it!"
Dash nods, "You're right!" She immediately flies up and finds a nice fluffy cloud that was passing by and settles down on it with a sigh and smile.
Twilight blinks at this and stops, turning to look up at Dash, "Rainbow, what are you doing?"
"I'm taking a nap, what does it look like?"
"Shouldn't you start studying? It is a quiz show after all."
Dash shrugs as she yawns, settling more onto the cloud, "What for? It's all up here already." She chuckles as she taps her head with a hoof.
Twilight glares again and turns around with a huff, marching off to the library.
The rest of the week seems almost a blur to Twilight. The very same day she challenged Dash, she dove into her books with gusto, starting with the first shelf and going through each book, some she reads from cover to cover, others she skims over the more important passages.
As is her usual habit when she really gets into a project, she often forgets to eat and sleep, and only does when firmly ordered by a concerned Spike.
Throughout the week, the rest of her friends, excluding Dash, occasionally stop by to check on her, starting to get a little worried at how she is treating herself, but also to offer words of encouragement for the show. But she barely acknowledges them, either through few spoken words, or unintelligible grunts, the unicorn intent on her studies.
Meanwhile, Dash remains.....Dash. Often found napping in between her weather pony duties and trying out new aerial tricks. Once she lazily floated past the library and offered a friendly wave to Twilight when she saw her in the window. She was only greeted by a scowl and a book being pulled up to block the view. The pegasus shrugged and carried on with her lazy business.
It's finally here! Tonight is the night of the show!
Twilight is excited of course, but she is still a bit nervous. She's going to be in front of a large audience, filled with ponies both familiar and not. She moves to her mirror and looks at herself, not entirely pleased with what she sees. She finally managed to get a good nights sleep the previous night, but after a week of nearly non-stop study, she wasn't in top form.
There were bags under her eyes, and her mane was still messy, even after a bath and repeated brushings. She sighs and gives it one more brushing before it's time to head out. She climbs down the stairs from her bedroom into the main room of the library. She was about to call for Spike, when she remembered that he had gone on ahead to meet with their other friends to get good seats for the show. She heads out, shutting the door behind her.
The streets are actually rather quiet that late afternoon as Twilight heads towards the town hall, where the show is going to be held. But the closer she gets to the center of town, more and more ponies start to appear until there is a large crowd that is slowly filing into a line to get inside. A sign reads that contestants should head to the back of the building.
As Twilight rounds the corner, she is greeted by the smiling faces of Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity, all moving to meet and greet her.
"Hey! Where is Spike?"
"Oh, he's inside, savin' seats for us." Applejack replies.
"We came to wish you good luck!" Pinkie exclaims, bouncing up and down in place.
"Thanks everyone." Twilight smiles happily. She then looks around, "Where is Rainbow? Did she go inside already?"
The others shrug, "We haven't seen her." Fluttershy says quietly, the others nodding.
Twilight rubs her chin thoughtfully with a hoof before the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupts her thoughts.
"Excuse me."
"Oh, excuse me! Sorry." Twilight says, quickly shifting out of the way of the door. She and the others all blink and stare as the pony trots past them, pausing at the doorway to grin at them over her shoulder.
This pony seems familiar, with her cyan blue coat and wings and rainbow hued mane and tail, but she seems to be somepony completely different, wearing a black turtle neck, black eyes glasses, her usually scruffy mane having been combed and pulled back into a pony tail.
Five voices ask the same question. "Rainbow???"
Rainbow grins wider still, "Heya girls!" She chuckles in her usual raspy voice, turning to face them all fully.
"Just what are you doing, Rainbow Dash?" Rarity sniffs, the fashionista looking over Dash's chosen attire.
"Well if the smartest pony in Ponyville is going to be on stage, she may as well look the part!"
Twilight's eye and ear twitches a bit, but she manages to stay calm for the moment, then just walks inside with a grunt, not looking at anyone.
"If you needed a new look for the show, darling, you could have just come to me." Rarity offers, trying hard to hide her disapproval of Dash's outfit, and not doing a very good job of it.
"Nah, I don't need any of that girly stuff, thanks just the same, Rarity." She says, then looks up at the big clock on the town hall, "Whoops, it's about showtime. See you all inside!" She smiles as she trots inside.
The rest all look at each other, then shrug before turning to head back around to the main entrance.
The droning chatter of the audience dies down as the house lights dim and the show's theme music starts to play. The audience erupts into cheers and applause as spotlights swirl around the room while a voice speaks up from the sound system.
"Welcome everypony to Ponyville Jeopardy! Here is your host, Alex Trotbeck!"
More applause and cheers fill the room as the dapper older unicorn trots out onto the stage and steps up to his podium.
"Hello, and welcome to our special touring edition of Jeopardy. We'll be visiting every town all over Equestria. Tonight has brought us to the lovely Ponyville!"
The crowd cheers once again at the mention of their town.
"Let's begin by meeting tonight's contestants. First up is Ponyville's favorite mailmare, Derpy Hooves!"
The audience applauds as the camera zooms in on Alex and Derpy.
"So, Miss Hooves, what brings you here tonight?"
"Muffins!"
"Is that all?"
".......Muffins?"
He doesn't miss a beat as he smiles to her, "Well, thanks for being here tonight!" He says as he moves down to the podium, "Now we have Miss Rainbow Dash!"
More cheers, especially from a particular little orange filly pegasus in the front row.
"Welcome, Miss Dash. It's good to have you here tonight."
"Well yeah, it's expected when you have the coolest and smartest pony around!"
Dash grins widely as she waves to the audience, most laughing and cheering, then shoots a wink over at Twilight, who only scowls, blowing a bit of her mane out of her eyes with annoyed huff.
Alex now moves on down to Twilight's spot, "Next up is the town librarian, Twilight Sparkle!"
Twilight smiles amongst the cheers from the audience and all her friends lining the front row.
"What do you hope to accomplish here tonight, Miss Sparkle?"
"Well as many know, I am the student of Princess Celestia, and I'm eager to demonstrate my knowledge of everything there is to know about Equestria." She say with a challenging look at Dash, stressing 'everything'.
Dash just shrugs, obviously not caring, or just doing a great job of not showing it.
The host heads back to his podium, his horn glowing as a stack of cards lifts up from his coat pocket, "You all know the rules, so let's get started! The categories for the first round are..."
"Constellations... Geography... Canterlot Curiosities... Ancient Artifacts... Pony Aerodynamics... and Muffins."
At the mention of muffins, Derpy's eyes seem to realign for a brief moment, the gray mare sitting up right and looking determined, but the moment passes as she becomes wall eyed again and her attention wanders.
"Lots were drawn backstage before the show so Miss Derpy Hooves will be going first."
"Muffins!" She says with confidence, staring at the video wall.
Alex just stares for a moment before clearing his throat, "Ahh, yes, we'll start with Muffins for 200. This is..."
As the host starts to read out the question, he is interrupted by a loud and determined, "MUFFIN!"
He stares again at Derpy before he looks down at his card, doing a quick double take, "Well...Muffin is the correct answer. 200 bits for Derpy. Please pick again."
"Muffin." She smiles.
Inexplicably, either through a technical error or a practical joke, every answer in that category is muffin, and soon Derpy is sitting happily with 3000 bits to her name.
"A great start for Derpy! Please pick the next category."
Derpy scans the topics as a look of hesitation and fear starts to creep over her face. She doesn't see anything she recognizes. She slowly turns her eyes towards the host.
"Muffin?"
Alex stares again, a soft sigh ruffling his mustache as he rearranges the cards on his podium, "We'll go to Ancient Artifacts for 200. This great magician of years past is best know for creating the precursors to the modern cloud making machines that weather ponies use today."
Derpy gulps and stares, slowly lowering her head down to her podium as she mutters, "......Muffin?"
*BZZZZZ*
She cringes, covering her head with her hooves as the buzzer goes off.
"I'm sorry that is incorrect. Anyone else?"
Twilight smiles brightly as she lifts her button with her magic and...
*ding*
"Miss Rainbow Dash."
"Who is Greymane the Bold?"
"Correct!"
Twilight shoots a look at Dash, who isn't even looking her way, the pegasus smiling as a hushed murmur flows across the audience.
"Miss Rainbow Dash gains control of the board.
"Artifacts for 400 please."
Alex nods as he reads, "This form of aerial transportation became a great boon to earth ponies and unicorns, allowing for faster travel."
"What are sky chariots?"
"Correct!"
"Artifacts for 600."
Dash makes quick work of the Artifacts category, calling out the answer confidently, racking up the points. She similarly demolishes the Pony Aerodynamics category, and being a pegasus, she probably wouldn't have needed the accidental enchantment she is under.
She dives into Constellations, Twilight grimacing as that is one of her favorite subjects. Dash easily answers the first couple questions without missing a beat.
"Constellations for 600."
"This formation of stars is merely a part of the whole design that depicts a great hunter."
Dash opens her mouth, about to answer when she suddenly pauses, eyes staring off into space, the cyan mare wobbling slightly in her seat as she clutches her hooves to her head, "Ugh."
*beepbeepbeep*
"Sorry, time is up. Anyone else?"
Twilight immediately perks up, grabbing up her button with her magic.
*ding*
"Miss Twilight."
"What is Orion's Belt?"
"Correct!"
Dash's jaw drops as she looks over at Twilight. What the hay just happened?
The audience applauds as the purple mare shoots a grin at Dash.
Back in business.
"Constellations for 800!"
Twilight feels very proud of herself, quickly taking control as she finishes up the Constellations category and makes quick work of Geography as well. Canterlot Curiosities comes easily to her as well, especially since she lived there for a large portion of her life. She is smiling brightly as she gets to the final question on the board.
"Canterlot Curiosities for 1000, please."
Suddenly a rapid echoing beeping noise sounds throughout the room.
Alex smiles, "You have found the special Daily Double Risk! This question is for you only. You may bet up to double your current score for a chance to surge ahead, but you also risk ending up way behind. What is your bid, Miss Sparkle?"
Twilight smirks confidently at Dash, who just has her hooves folded over her chest, frowning a bit. "I'll bid it all, doubled, Alex." She says with a firm nod, a hushed gasp going through the audience.
Alex nods as he brings up the card, "Your clue is...This is Princess Celestia's full name."
Twilight just blinks, letting her jaw drop, along with many of those in the audience.
"Bwuh?"
*beepbeepbeep*
"I'm sorry, Miss Sparkle, time is up. This question is no longer valid for points, but does anyone else care to take a guess?"
Dash smirks as she hits her button.
"Miss Dash."
"What is Celestia Veronica Sol?"
"That is correct!"
Dash takes her turn to grin as she looks over at Twilight, who appears to have steam starting to rise from her ears.
Twilight's face starts to turn red as squeaking can be heard from the grinding of her teeth. She rears up and slams her front hooves down on her podium, startling everyone "What the hay is this?!? That's not in any of my books!" She points a quivering hoof at Dash, "How do you know this?" She then blinks and turns on the host, "How do you know this??" She growls, snorting through her nostrils, "I just.... this can't...I ... I..... hrrrrnnnhhhggggrnrnnngghgghhffffffdAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
Twilight jumps in the air as her mane and tail burst into flames, her coat turning white and eyes glowing red as she screams in rage. Everyone stares in shock, though Dash and Twilight's other friends aren't as surprised, having seen this side of the unicorn once before. But the scene fades as suddenly as it came, Twilight flopping back into her seat with a groan, having returned to her normal self, a few wisps of smoke trailing from her body as she rests her chin on the podium, her mane covering her eyes.
Alex blinks several times, mouth opening and closing with no words coming. He tries again a moment later, finally managing to speak.
"Let's go to break."
"....And student of the month is once again, Twilight Sparkle!"
Twilight lets out a little squeal of delight as the little filly bounds from her desk to stand next to her instructor. She had only been at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns for a few months, but had very quickly rocketed to the top of the class with her strong grasp of magic. Half hearted applause was heard throughout the classroom, many of her classmates rolling their eyes, or just completely ignoring her. Twilight took it all in stride and beamed as her instructed levitated the blue ribbon from desk, about to put it around the young filly's neck.
"Wait a minute." Her instructor paused as he noticed something, bringing the ribbon up to his face to examine it more closely. "Oh dear, I appear to have made a mistake.
Twilight blinks and looks up at her instructor, tilting her head curiously, "Huh?"
"It appears that Twilight is not the winner this month. It's actually....Rainbow Dash!"
Her jaw dropped as the rest of the class broke out into more eager applause, all of them turning to see a cyan filly approaching the front of the room, her mane and tail a striking rainbow hue, and sporting a pair of strong looking wings......wait.....wings?!?
Dash's head was held high as she trotted up to the instructor and received the ribbon around her neck, all while shooting a grin at the purple unicorn, "Sorry, Twi, guess I 'm the best this time."
Twilight twitched as she sputtered, obviously flustered, "But....how could she.....she's not even a.....a...."
"GRRRR!"
The stallion clears his throat, shifting a bit uncomfortably as he taps the cards on the podium in front of him again.
"Yes, well, time is running short, so let's get started, shall we? The topics for the final round are..."
Twilight blushes and shrinks down in her seat, putting her hooves on her head, not realizing she had been thinking of her younger days when the show started up again. She remembers getting student of the month many times, but apparently some of this current situation leaked into her daydreaming. She glances down at the front row of the audience, noticing the concerned look of the rest of her friends and Spike looking at her with worry. She grins sheepishly and gives them a little wave before sitting up straight and turning her attention back to the game.
"...Equestrian Essentials...Griffons...and Dragon Heritage."
She and Dash both quickly study the categories while waiting for the host to continue. Derpy seems to be happily, and obliviously chewing on the side of her button.
"Miss Rainbow Dash, since you are ahead, you get to pick first."
Dash grins a bit as she nods, "Griffons for 200."
Dash is once again on a roll, quickly demolishing the Griffons category as she moves on to Vicious Vermin.
"This form of insect is often thought of as being extremely cute until it is too late."
Dash smirks. Easy. "What are parawhoooaaaa...." The pegasus groans as another wave of dizziness hits her, holding her hooves to her head. Ugh, not again! What is that?
*beepbeepbeep*
*DING*
"Sorry, time is up. Miss Twilight Sparkle?"
"What are parasprites?"
"Correct!"
Twilight grins triumphantly. Time to make a comeback!
The unicorn mare effortlessly finishes Vicious Vermin, and follows up with Dragon Heritage, steadily climbing out of the hole she ended up in from the first round.
Twilight's confidence soars and her early frustration plummets as she effortlessly finishes off the rest of the board, putting her back up to 7400 bits to Dash's 9000. Derpy is still happily oblivious, her googley eyes watching all the fancy lights and equipment in the studio. Another loud echoing beep is heard as the final question is another Daily Double Risk.
Twilight's ears fold back as she narrows her eyes at the host, who can only grin nervously, shifting on his hooves. "I'll bid 1600." She says firmly. That will at least let her tie with Dash if she gets it, and still have a respectable score if she doesn't.
The question comes and Twilight smiles, easily answering the question correctly, the audience applauding as she and Dash are now tied.
The host wipes his brow with a hoof as he adjusts his tie, "Well this has been certainly been an exciting game! It's only going to get more exciting as we move on to Final Jeopardy!" He says with a smile, the audience cheering. "After I read the final question, our contestants will have 30 seconds to bid up to double their points and put down their answer. Once the time is up, there is no going back. Are we ready?"
Dash and Twilight both nod, grinning widely at each other, eyes narrowed. Derpy seems distracted again, eyes seeming to be following something through the air that no one else can see.
Alex appears to have given up on Derpy and picks up the final not card. "Here we go. This is the modern scientific name of the beluga whale. The modern scientific name of the beluga whale." He repeats once, just to make sure he was heard clearly, "Your time begins now.
A soft and pleasant tune starts to play throughout the studio as the lights on the stage dim, allowing the audience to only see the silhouettes of the contests as they pick up their styluses in the grip of magic, hoof, or mouth, pausing to think before writing on the screens on their podiums.
The music fades as the lights brighten up again. "Alright, styluses down. Let's go and see what we got." The host says as he steps down from his podium to approach the contestants.
Twilight's head is held high, a bit smile on her face, feeling very confident. Dash however is the very opposite, her head planted face down on the podium, ears and wings drooping down. Derpy still has the same googley eyed smile on her face.
Alex approaches Twilight first, "Alright Miss Twilight Sparkle. Let's see what you have. The clue was, this is the scientific name of the beluga whale. You answered with... He looks down at the screen on the front of the podium where the unicorn's answer appears. "...What is Balaenoptera musculus? Oh, I'm sorry, that is incorrect." Twilight's smile instantly fades. "You bid...." The other half of the screen appears, "Double your 9000. Oh dear, that leaves you with a negative 9000. I'm very sorry, Miss Sparkle. Thank you for playing."
He shakes her hoof, Twilight staring off into the distance as she numbly returns the shake.
Next he approaches Dash, who is still face down on her podium. "Miss Dash's answer is...." The screen flashes her decision, "Uhh....big fish?". The host shakes his head, "I'm sorry, that is also incorrect. It appears you also bid double your score, leaving you tied with Miss Sparkle for negative 9000. Thanks for joining us today."
Dash just waves a hoof pathetically, still not looking up as Alex moves on.
"Now Miss Hooves. Let's see your answer."
He leans down, not expecting anything spectacular as the screen lights up, "What is Delphinapterus leucas?" The host shakes his head again, "I'm sorry that is incorr..." He blinks and shakes his head, looking at the answer again, then back to Derpy, then down again, "I uhh....well. That is correct! Let's see what you bid." The other part of the screen lights up to reveal Derpy's bit of....2 bits. "Well, that makes Miss Hooves our winner today with a total score of 2802 bits!"
Both Twilight and Dash look over at Derpy in shock as she giggles, glancing down at the bubbles lining her flank before she smiles out at the audience, waving her hooves in victory.
Alex moves to the center of the stage with a smile, "Well, this has certainly been an interesting game today. Please join us next time when we take the show to Manehattan! Good night everypony!"
It's evening as every pony starts to head home from the town hall. Twilight and Dash are walking together, having said their goodbyes to their other friends.
Dash is the first to speak, wings flapping slowly as she floats along next to Twilight, "I uhh....I'm sorry I called you names before Twilight." She says as she rubs at the back of her head with a hoof. "I guess I got carried away with things again. It was kinda cool knowing the answers to things, but I guess it wore off right at the end." She says, not looking at the unicorn.
Twilight smiles and nods, "Thank you, Rainbow. I'm sorry I called you names too, and I'm sorry I got so mad at you. I suppose we both learned our lessons today. Still friends?" She smiles hopefully up at the pegasus.
Dash grins, "Aww, you know we are, Twilight!" She chuckles, lightly bumping Twilight's shoulder with a hoof. "I think I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long day. Goodnight!" She waves as she shoots up into the air, heading towards her cloud home.
"Good night, Dash!" Twilight calls after her as she continues to her own home in the tree library.
Already she is thinking of writing a letter to the Princess before she turns in for the night, the words forming in her mind.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that jealousy is like a poison that eats away at you from the inside, and it can make you lash out or say cruel things to somepony, even to one of your own friends.
Becoming angry at a friend who has improved their skills beyond your own is a quick way to lose that friend. You should be happy for them and offer words of encouragement, and then try to improve yourself by their example, not try to discourage them. That will only lead to trouble and cause you to stumble if you try to get back at them or show them up.
There is no reason to resent somepony just because they have an advantage over you. Learning this has only made my friends and I a whole lot smarter.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle
