Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

I don't understand. All those ponies yelling at me. Princess Celestia herself banishing to the Everfree Forest... I never thought things could turn out this way... I don't even know what happened. I just know that I'm yearning for your presence...

And that somehow... I'm a monster.

I have just realized a couple of nights ago that there's a part of my life that's missing in my head. Like an empty space in one of Twilight's bookshelves. Most of my childhood and adolescence is missing. I could not recall absolutely anything. I just knew and know that for some reason I am who I am. But just a few minutes ago, even now my magical grip is very weak and shivering, I saw some flashbacks. An intense pain in every part of my body. And a feeling of being unable to control my body. Thousands of voices pleading for their lives...

"Silver! Please! Don't!"

But there was one particular voice that made me stop for a couple of seconds. It was a female voice and it said that she had always sensed that something was out of place in me, that if I had believed that she would never leave my side no matter what things could have turned differently.

Right now, I have no idea what it meant, but while I was having that flashback, I seemed to understand and absorb every word that she told me. I could feel myself slowly regaining control over my body. There was something about that mare... almost as if she had control over my heart, like she gave me strength to keep fighting... but suddenly I felt something hit my head...

"YOU MONSTER!" a male pony behind me yelled.

Then, I could feel the real monster taking control over my body again. And the flashback ended.

I'm curious about this mare. And about something else...

When I lost control back in Ponyville... I seemed to hear your voice... You were begging me to stop, that it was okay, that you did not hate me... it had the same effect in me. Almost if you had control over my heart... And now that I wish with all my being to be by your side, to hear your words of comfort, to feel your warmth against my body... I guess now I understand what's going on with me...

Yet, I feel like the whole world is coming against me, and you are my only hope, my only comfort, but the world is keeping you away from me... But it's only fair... I don't want to hurt you, I'm a monster. You should stay as far as possible from me. I don't hate you, I'll never hate you, I'm a slave of what I feel for you.

I'm really sorry for hurting your animals, but... you are just too kind... too forgiving...

I guess that's why I have feelings for you. I've always wanted someone to understand me. To open up their heart to me. To tell me that everything is going to be okay, and that they are never going to leave my side...

But I'm never going to have someone like that, because I am a monster. And even if I don't know most of the story, I will accept my fate as a monster. I guess it's better for me to stay here, after all, I haven't done any good to anyone. I'll only destroy lives...

Princess Celestia is one of the wisest beings alive... for something she made the decision of banishing me... to protect her little ponies... from a monster like me...

But there's actually one little thing I wish to know... what kind of monster am I?

...It's kind of cold here... I'll try to make some sort of fireplace...

Wait... What is that silhouette in the distance... an Alicorn?

It can't be Princess Celestia... I'll go check it out.