Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

by Lake

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Slice of Life, Dark
Length: 3668

Mirror, mirror on the wall... Can you show me who I really am?

Silver Quill moves to Ponyville seeking peace, but she is oblivious to the fact that her arrival would bring chaos to the small and peaceful town.

—
Rated T for just a little, tiny bit of gore… just a little, believe me. We'll, at least for now…
Tags will possibly change.
Cover Image made by me.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-26 01:22:32 UTC

Welcome, New Ponies!

“Jaunty Soul!” I tried waking up my partner who was sitting across the table. We had taken a train ride from Manehattan to Ponyville, each of us had our reasons. We hadn’t arrived to our destination yet, but I wanted to wake him up so we could eat a snack. The ride had been especially long, since the train had taken damage in some wheels and it took a while for the mechanics to finish repairing it.

Jaunty Soul is one of my best friends, and we have been since we were 13 years old. He was always a very happy stallion with a strong will of helping others, even if he had problems of his own. He is a Pegasus with white coat, dark brown curly mane and light green eyes. His cutie mark is a small candle; all of his friends, including myself, were intrigued by his cutie mark’s meaning, but for some reason he never wanted to tell us. He had been wearing glasses ever since I met him. He was a psychologist and he was going to Ponyville to start his career after finishing his university studies.

My reasons?... well… that’s a little complex…

My name is Silver Pen. I am a unicorn mare with light purple coat, black wavy mane and blue eyes. My cutie mark is a quill and a pencil crossed over a scroll. I used to be a writer and an artist looking for a nice and calm place to continue my work. I have always expressed my thoughts through the quill and scroll ever since I was little. I was escaping home… well not exactly escaping because back then I was 23, which meant I was already old enough to have my own place, but it was almost like escaping since I just wanted to be far away from my family. I’ve never been able to handle that annoying group of people. When I knew Jaunty Soul was leaving, I couldn’t let the opportunity pass. After all, I hate being by myself in a foreign place.

“Soul, wake up already! Or I will eat all of it!” I levitated two hay sandwiches, one of them in front of the half asleep Jaunty Soul.

“Ah… ok, ok. See? I’m awake!”  He took the sandwich with his hooves and gave it a bite. He started chewing on it, tasting it and seemed to enjoy it “I didn’t know you cooked! I thought you hated it!”

“Grandma taught me” my answer was plain and simple. My grandmother was a subject that I had preferred not to bring up. She had died a couple of months ago, and my grandmother was like my second and real mother, since everything my mother was supposed to do she didn’t do it, instead my grandmother took her place. Her departure was something that had left me a permanent scar.

“O-oh… I’m sorry… I didn’t know…”

“It’ll be okay as long as we change the topic” there was an uncomfortable silence afterwards. My look was very serious and I was starting to get slightly stressed and annoyed.

“Alright, alright. Calm down” Jaunty Soul seemed desperate, and he had reasons. Whenever I got angry, stressed, or depressed meant that a long and harsh argue was coming his way. Our points of view from the world are opposites; while he always sees the positive things, I try to stay away from fantasies and remain with my hooves pressed firmly on the ground. “So… have you heard anything from Jade Angel?”

And this is why he never succeeded in having a girlfriend.

For some reason, Jaunty Soul had only managed to touch delicate topics. Jade Angel used to be my best friend since the first year of middle school. She is also a unicorn and studied with me at Canterlot. However, she disappeared since our graduation and it was another thing that left me a scar. Jade Angel is a pegasus mare with light green coat and red mane. Her cutie mark is a microphone.

By the end of our last school year our relationship started getting worse and worse until becoming... one sided. While I was the only one who cared about her she never paid me any attention... I knew it had to end, but it still hurt; I missed the old years.

"...Kay..." I sighed "I've... heard her career as a singer has been... successful..."

"And..." he giggled nervously while fixing his glasses with one hoof "I guess I... touched another sensitive spot?"

Sometimes... just... sometimes... I wonder how you became a psychologist...

I shot him a glare, and it worked just as I hoped. He continued eating the rest of his sandwich.

I looked at the scenery outside of the window. It was already afternoon and the sky was bathed in beautiful golden colors from the descending sun. The afternoon was one of my favorite times of the day, of course, after the night; always cold and calm... I could see a small town of Ponyville in the distance.

Good... it looks... nice and peaceful...

Just when I said the word 'peaceful' a group of images flashed in my mind... All of them were full of blood and young ponies running and screaming... they were all staring in horror at... at me...

"Is something wrong, Silver?"

"Huh?" I snapped out and all of the gory images went back inside the depths of my subconsciousness. Jaunty was staring at me with concern and confusion "N-nothing... I'm okay..." I shook my head after realizing the horrified expression I had in my face.

Probably some images from daddy's old illustrated horror novel collection...

"Are you sure?" Jaunty insisted, staring at me suspiciously. I groaned.

"...Yes... I'm sure..."

We arrived at Ponyville just half an hour later. It was getting dark and after hearing an apology for the inconveniences during the trip, we started looking for the Town Hall. We both carried our saddlebags. His had some clothes (for special occations of course) and a couple of books while mine had quills, bottles of ink, scrolls, books and just a plain dress. Fashion wasn't really my thing nor I was interested in it.

There weren't many ponies around the streets, and there were no sings of any loud party, something that relieved me.

Good, no disturbances at night...

15 minutes later, we were already at the doorstep of our new home. I was surprised by how fast it was, unlike Manehattan, and by how nice Mayor Mare was... of course, unlike Manehattan. They all acted so superior and always showed off their money and power; I had always hated people like them... Even if the house was very economic, we both payed it since I didn't want to feel like a parasite attached to Jaunty.

"Well? How is it?" asked Jaunty, looking proudly at the small and simple, but nice and peaceful house. It was located at the borders of town, so it was surrounded by nature and just a couple of houses.

"It's good! I really like it!"

"Good! Then, let's go in!" He opened the door. Everything was very dark inside, so he turned on the lights and...

"SURPRISE!"

"AAAH!"

A pink pony with a party cone on her puffy hair was standing before us, her face only inches away from our horrified expressions. Behind her was a group of smiling ponies. A special group stood out from the rest. A purple unicorn, a rainbow maned pegasus, an earth pony with a cowboy hat, another unicorn with a very beautiful (but exaggerated) elegant dress and a pegasus hiding her timid face behind her soft pink mane. They were standing side by side (one of them flying).

"What is this?" whispered Jaunty soul.

"I have no idea..."

"WELCOME, NEW PONIES! MY NAME IS PINKIE PIE! AND THESE ARE MY FRIENDS TWILEY, DASHIE, AJ, RARITY AND FLUTTERS AND WHEN MAYOR MARE TOLD US ABOUT YOU I DECIDED TO TELL EVERYPONY TO COME HERE AND THROW YOU AN AMAZING PARTY BECAUSE I LOVE PARTIES AND EVERYPONY LOVES PARTIES BECAUSE PARTIES ARE AWESOME AND FUN AND..."

"I-I couldn't even catch her name..!"

"Pinkie Pie" said the purple unicorn to the pink earth pony sternly while stepping forward.

"Oops! Sorry!" she apologized with a sheepish smile which, I admit, was really cute.

"I'm sorry if my friend here confused you"

ONLY confused? ...sheesh...

"Nah, it's okay. I think it's really nice for you to throw us a party!" Jaunty, living up to his name, looked at the bright side, trying to cheer up the pink party pony.

"I knew you'd love it!"

The purple mare introduced herself as Twilight Sparkle. We also met her friends; Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy (we finally understood her name at the third attempt, her voice was just so low and she was so shy!). They were a very interesting bunch. The party was very enjoyable, not too noisy, and we met other residents of Ponyville, which were very interesting and fun to be around as well.

Hm... I think I'm gonna like this place a lot...

It happened again. As soon as I finished my simple thought, similar bloody images started flashing into my mind... but there was a difference...

The ponies I had just met... The ponies I was drinking punch and eating cupcakes with... were there, running away with blood covered coats and some with a couple of lost limbs or any other part of their bodies... screaming and looking at me with fear in their eyes...

...Or not?

That Curious Pain in My Heart

The party still continued. While Jaunty Soul showed off his comedy skills to another group of ponies I was alone drinking some punch at the snack table. I was a little confused because of what I had seen a few moments ago, so I took advantage of the silence of the abandoned corner to sort out my thoughts. That, until a lavender pony interrupted me. Not that it bothered me.

"I'm sorry if Rainbow Dash insulted you, Silver, she's just..." Twilight Sparkle paused, looking for the proper words to explain her friend's rudeness towards my... tastes...

"Neh, It's ok... I understand. I won't stop doing what I like to do because some pegasus doesn't like it..." I had faced many ponies like Rainbow Dash who laughed at what I liked to do and how boring was "sitting all day in front of a table writing mushy stuff", but I learned how to deal with them; just ignoring them.

"That's a very... positive way of thinking" the purple unicorn laughed nervously "Anyway, what do you write?" Twilight served her own glass of punch.

"Poems... novels... almost anything." I stated.

"Interesting! I'd like to read your work sometime!" for some reason, she seemed genuinely enthusiastic about it, unlike... people from Manehattan "and I assume that you also like to *read as much as you like to write."*

"Of course! Though I can be a little picky on the genre." I could feel myself perking up a little bit.

"Oh! Doesn't matter! I have a lot of books in my library!" she rubbed her hooves together in delight "Romance, adventure, comedy..." she continued rambling about a lot of other genres almost as fast as Pinkie Pie rambles about parties.

...Wait... I didn't know Biology was a genre...

"...Um... Excuse me..." said a barely audible whisper behind me.

"Oh! Fluttershy!" she turned her attention at the shy mare "something wrong?"

"Oh, no... I kinda heard... well... I didn't know you had novels in your library..." I noticed she was trying to avoid eye contact with me.

She didn't? But... I thought they have been friends for years...

"I've always had novels!" Twilight said as a matter-of-factly. Suddenly, her eyes had a special shine to them "OH! I know! Why don't you both drop by tomorrow?" Both Fluttershy and I ignored the awkward air between the two of us and shared a confused glance.

And there I was. And I had not expected at all anything of what I saw... or heard.

When I entered the library/tree/house, the first thing I encountered were the shelves filled with many different kinds of books. It was empty at first, but then I heard some footsteps coming down from the stairs nearby. Not too long after... a small figure covered with purple scales was revealed...

A... dragon?

"Oh! Hi! You must be that "Silver Quill" Twilight told me about!" the dragon, who was now in front of me, extended his claws at me with a grin in his face "My name's Spike! Nice to meet 'cha!"

"Uh... well... Nice to meet you too... Spike!" I answered with a nervous smile, reluctantly shaking the small hand with my hoof. "So... uh... where's Twilight?" I asked retreating my hoof.

"Oh, she's writing to the princess at her room, she'll be here in a minute" Spike explained as if she, instead of writing to Her Majesty, Princess Celestia herself, was writing to her cousins. I could feel my chin touching the wooden floor in disbelief.

"Wh-what? Why? I-is something going on?" when I heard the dragon's laughter my worried expression changed into an annoyed one "What?!" I demanded an explanation to his strange behavior.

"Haha! Sorry!" the small dragon wiped his out tears while catching his breath "You see, Twilight is Princess Celestia's student. We used to live in Canterlot before but the princess sent us here to study friendship. So, every time she learns anything new she reports to the princess."

"Aha..." my expression was empty, I did not now how to react. For a few seconds there was an awkward silence in the room until I thought up another question "so... what did she learn?"

"Well..." he scratched his head with his claw deep in thought "I think she is telling the princess about you or something... I dunno."

"Me?" I said in a mocking tone, rolling my eyes as if he had just told me the worst joke in the whole Equestria "What do I have of interesting? Doesn't the princess have other things to do rather than reading a letter about a weird new pony arriving to town?"

"Twilight and the princess share a very special relationship, you know, like mother and daughter and that kind of stuff, so I guess she feels like she's talking to her mother... or something like that. And you just wait. Once you have a couple of days in here you'll understand that everypony here is... well... crazy"

"SPIKE!" yelled a familiar voice from upstairs. The dragon sighted and started to walk towards the stairs.

"I'll be right back" he said before disappearing into the second floor.

"...Kay..." I few seconds passed. I started walking towards the bookshelves while unconsciously humming a tune. After a while of reading the different titles I realized they were ordered in a very complex manner.

...By genre or subject... author... alphabetical order... Some mare spends a lot of time indoors...

Hm... By the way... Where's the other mare? The yellow one... Fluttershy was it?

And, almost as if I had called the pink maned pegasus through telepathy, I heard the wooden door opening. I turned my head towards the door and saw Fluttershy stepping inside without saying a single word. Once she closed the door she just stayed there, staring at her hooves. The awkward silence between the two was just...

...So... ridiculously... unbearable...

"Sorry about the wait!" Both of us turned our heads towards the source of the voice. It was Twilight, who had FINALLY finished whatever she was doing.

Twilight began showing us the whole library. Then she brought us to the bookshelves containing the novels. I saw Fluttershy taking particular interest in the romance genre, which seemed to surprise Twilight. "I always thought she was too shy to read this kind of thing..." had whispered Twilight into my ear.

...I thought she was too shy for anything...

As time passed, Fluttershy started opening up more and we got considerably closer. While we were talking about ourselves and telling childhood stories I could sense Twilight staring at us with certain happiness and pride.

It was already 5:30 p.m. when I finally realized I had to get back home soon since Jaunty arrived home 5 to 10 minutes later and he probably had a story for me about how his first day of work went. The books at Twilight's library were more interesting than expected, but while Fluttershy had taken at least 5 books, I decided to take only one.

I approached the door, Fluttershy behind me. I opened the door and held it for Fluttershy to pass, but she seemed hesitant. I gave her a gentle smile and she reluctantly left the library.

"Um, Bye, Twilight! Thanks for the book!"

"Goodbye! Hope to see you around here soon!" and with that, I closed the door behind me. I noticed Fluttershy was still there. It seemed like there was something she wanted to tell me.

"Fluttershy? Something the matter?" I could barely see the small blush painted on the shy pegasus' cheeks.

"U-um... no... nothing...." she turned around and left.

...Kay...

Though I I knew I had to arrive home soon, I decided I could take in a few sights of the town. I walked to a random direction and after a few minutes I found myself in the middle of a park. There were several ponies there. But I also noticed a few couples. I calculated around 5. It was an adorable sight that made the gears in my head turn. I started to think of various short romance stories I could write in one day but suddenly i felt like fleeing from the park and return as fast as possible to my home.

I could feel a slight pain in my heart... Jealousy.

All those ponies living the heaven I will never live...

Love...

You are such a cruel little bastard...

A Diary Page With Tears

Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

I don't understand. All those ponies yelling at me. Princess Celestia herself banishing to the Everfree Forest... I never thought things could turn out this way... I don't even know what happened. I just know that I'm yearning for your presence...

And that somehow... I'm a monster.

I have just realized a couple of nights ago that there's a part of my life that's missing in my head. Like an empty space in one of Twilight's bookshelves. Most of my childhood and adolescence is missing. I could not recall absolutely anything. I just knew and know that for some reason I am who I am. But just a few minutes ago, even now my magical grip is very weak and shivering, I saw some flashbacks. An intense pain in every part of my body. And a feeling of being unable to control my body. Thousands of voices pleading for their lives...

"Silver! Please! Don't!"

But there was one particular voice that made me stop for a couple of seconds. It was a female voice and it said that she had always sensed that something was out of place in me, that if I had believed that she would never leave my side no matter what things could have turned differently.

Right now, I have no idea what it meant, but while I was having that flashback, I seemed to understand and absorb every word that she told me. I could feel myself slowly regaining control over my body. There was something about that mare... almost as if she had control over my heart, like she gave me strength to keep fighting... but suddenly I felt something hit my head...

"YOU MONSTER!" a male pony behind me yelled.

Then, I could feel the real monster taking control over my body again. And the flashback ended.

I'm curious about this mare. And about something else...

When I lost control back in Ponyville... I seemed to hear your voice... You were begging me to stop, that it was okay, that you did not hate me... it had the same effect in me. Almost if you had control over my heart... And now that I wish with all my being to be by your side, to hear your words of comfort, to feel your warmth against my body... I guess now I understand what's going on with me...

Yet, I feel like the whole world is coming against me, and you are my only hope, my only comfort, but the world is keeping you away from me... But it's only fair... I don't want to hurt you, I'm a monster. You should stay as far as possible from me. I don't hate you, I'll never hate you, I'm a slave of what I feel for you.

I'm really sorry for hurting your animals, but... you are just too kind... too forgiving...

I guess that's why I have feelings for you. I've always wanted someone to understand me. To open up their heart to me. To tell me that everything is going to be okay, and that they are never going to leave my side...

But I'm never going to have someone like that, because I am a monster. And even if I don't know most of the story, I will accept my fate as a monster. I guess it's better for me to stay here, after all, I haven't done any good to anyone. I'll only destroy lives...

Princess Celestia is one of the wisest beings alive... for something she made the decision of banishing me... to protect her little ponies... from a monster like me...

But there's actually one little thing I wish to know... what kind of monster am I?

...It's kind of cold here... I'll try to make some sort of fireplace...

Wait... What is that silhouette in the distance... an Alicorn?

It can't be Princess Celestia... I'll go check it out.