Just an Everyday Princess

Chapters

Waking Up Confusion
Hoofmaidens' Development
On the Other Hoof
Back Up a Bit
Trouble on the Farm
Ponyville Maximum Security (it isn't) *now with 20% more explained AJ emotion!
Guards and Listening Skills
Bad Timing
Explanations
Travel and Preparation
A Warm Welcome
Settling Inn
Plots and Plans
A Calm Stroll to Dinner
Dinner Plans
Delayed Dinner
Confusion I
Stakeout
Intervention
Unhinged
Aftermath
Prologue
The Royal Entourage
Failure
Return
Preparation for a Big Day

Waking Up Confusion

Spike woke as the sun pierced through the tiny slit between the curtains and landed right in his eyes.

He reluctantly got up "Twilight~ what time is-" he turned to see his maternal figure splayed out on the bed, a blonde mare wrapped around each of her limbs. After managing to recover his jaw from the floor he laid back down with a huff.

"You know what? I'm not waking up today."

A loud crash resounded through the library, the impact was strong enough to shake the entire tree. Twilight would have woken up at the sound, had it not already been instilled in her subconscious as something to ignore.

Rainbow Dash rose from the mountain of books she was under, "Hey Twi! The girls are downstairs but the guard won't-"

Bang!

The door was all but kicked off it's hinges as the quartet of guards and the remaining elements of harmony flooded into the room.

The entire group looked on with expressions ranging from Fluttershy's abashed blush to Rainbow Dash's just-shy-of-manic grin.

Rarity was the first to speak, "Sorry to barge in, but what is going on here?"

The question was directed to the mares who were strewn about Twilight's bed, all in some way in contact with Twilight.

All four mares were quick to untangle from their still sleeping princess.

At the same time they all tried to take the duty of damage control, "It's not what you think! It's just-"

"-after the mistress ordered us to sleep with her, we were-"

"-we had to, or else she might-"

"-It was this or else sleep on the 'hard floor'. She originally wanted us to-"

"-fell over each other-"

"-then we were all on top of her and-"

"-after we striped her-"

"-but then the blanket slipped and she was so warm-"

The onslaught of explanations was the pinnacle of counter-productivity, as it served to explain nothing while only making the expressions on everypony's face deepen.

Fluttershy looked like she was about to faint, Rainbow Dash had gone through being impressed and now stood in awe of her still-sleeping friend. She didn't know the librarian had it in her! Pinkie looked excited and Applejack was less than amused.

Only when Rarity put a hoof up did the babbling mares quiet down, but not before the final nail of misunderstanding was driven home. The last mare to notice Rarity's calls for silence continued on in the momentary emptiness.

"-she was so soft but then she got mad and it got- oh!"

Applejack looked like she was going to burst right then and there. She stomped out the door.

Pinkie began bouncing on Twilight's bed.

"Twilight! Why didn't you invite us to your slumber party!"

"Wha~?" the purple mare finally began to wake up, "Pinkie? What's going on?"

The guards attempted to catch the pouncing party pony, but every time they lunged she had bounced up to the ceiling.

"What happened? What happened! You had another secret slumber party in the library AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME AGAIN!"

Rarity walked up to the side of the bed, bringing sideways glances from the guards "What she means to say dear, is that we found you rather, ahem, compromised on the bed with these ladies. Would you mind explaining."

Twilight went on to explain how there weren't enough beds, so she offered to sleep on the floor, but when they wouldn't agree she compromised, but when that didn't work she pulled the princess card.

The explanation calmed everyone down a little. Rarity nodded in understanding, Fluttershy came out from behind her mane with an embarrassed smile, and Rainbow dash seemed almost disappointed.

"Well that explains why they were in your bed but now could you tell me who they are?"

"Oh, These are my new, um..." Twilight looked to the girls, "well, they are my servants."

"Bwahaha!" Rainbow exploded in laughter, "Sorry Twi, but I just can't imagine you with servants, well, other than Spike of course!"

"It is rather funny to imagine that our Twilight is now ruling class. ...No offense of course princess."

Twilight rolled her eyes, "As good as it is to see all of you girls, is there a reason you are all in my room so early in the-," she used her magic to open the curtains, spilling light into the room, "afternoon?"

"Well dear, we intended to throw you a little soirée last night but it seemed like a bad time for you though, so we are having it this afternoon instead."

"Ooh ooh! If Twilight's new friends are staying in Ponyville that means I can make it a "Thanks for fixing our cutiemarks/congratulations on becoming an alicorn/ congratulations on becoming a princess/ welcome to Ponyville" party all in one!

Pinkie then grabbed Twilight like a piece of luggage, and lifted her onto her back before sprinting out the door, chased closely by the guards who had failed to prevent a kidnapping right in front of them.

The hooofmadens looked on in shock.

"You get used to it." Rarity said nodding to the door, "If you would all come to sugar cube corner around six we'll show you a proper Ponyville welcome!" Rarity and Fluttershy went out the door, and Rainbow leapt out the window she came in through.

The four mares looked at each other. "Does anyone know where this 'Sugarcube Corner' is?"

Preview: "Excuse me ma'am could you direct us to 'Sugarcube Corner'?"

"Sure! Do you know where- whoa!" the blue maned DJ did a double take when she turned from the stall she was patronizing, " I need to get my glasses checked! Seriously! It's like I'm seeing in double again! Quadruplicate! you all look exactly the same! I know this pair of ponies that could have you all straightened up in a jiffy! Come with me!"

Author's Note

So I'm going to be updating this basically as I finish chapters, so the revisions I make will not be the most comprehensive. If I make a mistake just tell me and i'll fix it.

Also, any suggestions for situations and jokes are appreciated. Throw your ideas in the comments section and if they are good (and fit the situation) I may use them!

Today's discussion question, as Archivist Nightwatch pointed out after the last question: If everyone lived where the other person lived when they switched cutie marks where did Rarity live?

Where do you think Rarity would live if she suddenly lost the boutique?

Hoofmaidens' Development

"The new princess seems nice." Brush noted as she ran a dust cloth across the tops of the librarian's personal collection of reference books.

"I'm just worried she'll get as upset with us as Princess Cadenza did... That was horrible..." Bristle remembered as she made the bed.

"I'd rather have another Princess Cadenza than another Prince Blueblood." Breeze said, trembling as she walked in to the bedroom, still wearing a kitchen apron.

"Didn't Princess Cadenza turn out to be the Changeling Queen? I can understand why she was so terrible... Blueblood was still so much worse, though." Cloud shuddered as she swept in the corner of the room.

"Regardless, I like the new princess." Brush said once again.

"Yes sister, she does seem like she'll be a nice mistress."

A round of nods and musings of agreement went around the room.

"And her friends are even throwing us a party!" Cloud added.

"No, they are throwing the princess a party first and foremost, and as such, we should go help set up. We want to make a good impression on the townsfolk." Brush said as she finished up the last of the chores.

"Speaking of the party, do any of you know where we are supposed to go for it?" Cloud looked from pony to pony for a response.

"I believe the unicorn said it was at 'Sugarcube Corner'" Breeze added as she watched Brush walk over to the window.

"We should probably leave soon if we are to find this establishment and help prepare." she turned back to the group, "Bristle, I see you've made the bed and collected the trash from in here, is the rest of the library's collected as well?" Bristle gave a nod. "Good. Breeze, did you finish everything in the kitchen?"

"Of course!"

"Good. Cloud, you done sweeping yet?"

"Almost, just give me a second."

"Ok, well when you're done we'll get tidied up and try to find this 'Sugarcube Corner' place."

Cloud broke the awkward silence, "We need directions." The mares had been blindly wandering around Ponyville for close to half an hour now.

"Were not lost, Cloud, we'll be there soon. This town isn't that big." replied Brush with an indignant huff.

"Uh... I think we should ask someone too sis... If it's not too difficult, the ponies around here seem nice enough." Bristle was quite thrilled that they had been walking for so long and not one pony had stopped them to yell at them, in fact some even smiled and waved!

"We are not asking directions until we absolutely have to! It makes us look like were ignorant, and that reflects poorly on the princess."

"I think having her whole serving staff on parade through the middle of town reflects even more poorly on the princess than just asking someone for directions."

"I said we're not..." Cloud's logic was slowly seeping into Brush's head "Well..."

"Excuse me ma'am could you direct us to 'Sugarcube Corner'?"

"Sure! Do you know where- whoa!" the blue maned DJ did a double take as she turned from the stall she was patronizing, "I need to get my glasses checked! Seriously! It's like I'm seeing in double again! Quadruple!" she lifted her sunglasses and rubbed her eyes animatedly, "You all look exactly the same! Did you all mess up your coordinating when you got up this morning? I know this pair of ponies that could have you all straightened up in a jiffy!"

"I'm sorry, but we really can't, we've got to get to Sugarcube Corner soon."

"Oh come on! They have a hot tub! I can see the dirt on your coats, you all could use some spa time if you're going to a party next!"

"I'm really sorry but could you just-"

"Oh come on sis, we have like two hours until the party starts, and we don't HAVE to help set up anyway." Bristle laid on pleading the act thick.

Brush couldn't resist her sisters puppy-dog eyes for long, "Oh all right, but only an hour! Tops!"

"Come with me!"

The DJ had dragged them to Aloe and Lotus's spa and had them relaxing before they knew what hit them. After a short time Brush had made her way to the deeper spa room and found the jacuzzi.

"So where are you all from? Are you all, like, sisters or something? Is that why you all look so similar?" the DJ asked Brush as she joined her in the steaming water. (The hot tub being the only part of the facility the DJ frequented.)

"No, to answer your last question, we're not related. Well, Brush and I are, but Breeze and Cloud are of no relation to us or each other."

"So what are you all doing looking so similar? Seriously! That's pretty coincidental!"

"This is the standard appearance of Royal Palace Hoofmaidens." said Brush with no lack of confidence in her words. It was easy for anyone to see she took pride in her position.

"Whoa, you work at the palace! I've got a friend who performs at the palace all the time! Her name's Octavia, ever met her?"

"Well, we don't actually work at the palace anymore, we moved in with the new princess here in Ponyville."

"New princess? OH! You mean Twi! Ha! That means you're all living in the library now? Well I guess I should welcome you to Ponyville! I'm actually kinda shocked Pinkie hasn't thrown a party for you yet."

The new resident's eyes widened as she remembered the whole reason they had left the Library.

"The Party!" She sprang from the water, splashing everywhere as she ran to collect her associates.

Vinyl was left alone in the tub. "Nice girl, but too high strung. Kinda reminds me of a certain librarian.“ Vinyl noted as she laid back in the tub, "she could also stand to take a bottle of chill pills like a certain librarian."

Brush had separated from the group very soon after arriving to wash up and find the hot tub, her associates however had mysteriously never joined her in the bath. She feared that they had left without her. She became more concerned when she found the mare from the morning's excitement in the library wandering around the shop.

"I'm sorry miss, but do you know where my associates are, I seem to have lost them and we really must be going."

The mare turned first with a look of surprise, then shock, a smirk, and finally she held her head high refusing to look directly at the mare "You look simply dreadful! I can't believe that a princess would keep such dreadful company!"

Brush was stunned. This mare had seemed so nice before, but to go so far as to challenge the honor of the princess! "I- I-"

"Gotcha!" The purple maned white coated mare couldn't hold back her laughter.

Brush recognized that laugh "Cloud! Your mane! Why did you dye it? To work as an attendant of the palace you must follow the dress code!"

"Pshhh! We were all thinking about what the crazy one who dragged us here said, and seriously, it does kind of suck to all look the same doesn't it? Nobody calls us by name because they can't tell us apart!"

"While I agree it is an inconvenience, we MUST look the same! Breaking dress code is grounds for dismissal!"

"-From the PALACE! If you didn't notice, we aren't in the palace anymore. And besides, this will be fun! Live a little! Don't worry we'll dye them back later."

"We?" Brush dared to ask, fearing the consequences of that word.

Her fears were realized as double DJs walked in.

"Oh hey sis... You like my new mane?"

"I can't believe you would... Oh Celestia. Dare I even ask what color Breeze dyed her mane?"

"Oh don't worry, she didn't dye her mane" Cloud could barely contain her mirth, but Brush was too busy examining her sisters new "style" to notice.

She did notice, however, when another pony entered the room.

"Princess!" Brush hid the ground in a deep bow, "I'm sorry for the violations of code amongst... Um, princess? Where are your wings?"

Cloud exploded in laughter, even Bristle let out a small snicker, but Brush was not happy.

"You didn't."

"We did!"

Preview: "Twilight walked into Sugarcube Corner anticipating the usual friendly greeting from the Cakes. Instead she was met with what distinctly instilled thoughts of what it would look like if pre-reformation Discord and the Changeling army decided to attack the humble bakery at the same time, namely it was pure chaos."

Author's Note

Give those mares a little development why don'cha?

BTW: That previewed chapter might not be next, I think there might be a chapter in between this one and that one. If I do put a different chapter next, I'll change the preview accordingly.

Question of the day: If Gilda is part lion and part eagle (as griffons are), and both are relatively strict carnivores, what did she eat when she attended flight school with Dash?

On the Other Hoof

Mister and Misses Cake were a frenzy of motion as they ran around the confectioners’ shop they called home making sure everything was in order.

"Honey, did you check the seating? Do we have enough?" the orange baker yelled to his wife.

"Double checked! What else dear?" the blue culinarian replied.

"The Twins! Who'll watch the twins! Oh, we didn't have this problem the last time we had a princess as a guest."

"Pinkie! No, she's going to be at the party too... What can we do! Could Miss Cheerilee watch them?" agitation and fear fully audible in her voice.

"No! She's out of town for the weekend! What about- no. How about- no she's out of town too! Derpy! What about Derpy? Could she watch them?"

"Good idea dear! She's perfect! She's great with Dinky, and we can repay her in muffins!" Mrs. Cake was overjoyed at the idea. "I'll go get the foals!"

As soon as she was out the door she was met with a group of mares, all but one of whom she recognized.

"Oh dear, I wasn't expecting-" she said as her eyes fell back on the purple unicorn, "Princess!" she hit the ground in the deepest bow possible without dropping her foals.

"Nope!" the purple maned, distinctly not Rarity sounding, member of the group, laughed. She actually sounded like Rainbow Dash after a prank. Looking closer she could tell the blue maned one was also lacking the DJ's usual eye-ware.

"What my associate means to say is: Were the princess's personal attendants, despite our appearance." the blond mare shot the Rarity imposter a dark glare, "And we are here to help set up for her party."

Rather than relieved, the mare seemed to become even more tense as she rose to her hooves. "I have to take the foals to a sitter, but my husband will help you. I'll be back as soon as I can. I do hope everything is up to your standards." she said as she began to back away, making little bowing motions as she retreated.

"Okay...?" Brush said as she approached the door.

As the group entered a very similar scenario played out with the husband of the pair as well. He surveyed the group, drooped to his knees, begged the "princess" for his unpreparedness before Cloud began laughing again, and Brush reintroduced them as the princess's entourage there to help prepare.

He responded rather well, only fainting once before they were forced to explain that they were there to help, not to scrutinize everything to check if it was, in his words, "fit for the princess".

Everything was going well until the princess's friends showed up.

Twilight walked into Sugarcube Corner anticipating one of two things, either the usual friendly greeting from the Cakes, or an absurd show of submission, such as was given to Celestia last time she came to the humble bakery.

She was met by neither though, as instead she was met with what distinctly reminded her of what it would look like if pre-reformation Discord and the Changeling army decided to attack the humble bakery. Namely, it was pure chaos.

From where she stood she could survey Applejack holding down what looked like a tied up version of Twilight's old unicorn self, Pinkie bouncing atop the doppelgänger while the Cakes apologized profusely. Off to the side Rarity was in a shouting match with herself, and Vinyl Scratch was cowering in the corner as another Vinyl laughed her head off.

Twilight, being a sensible mare, took a deep breath before grabbing everyone in the room with her magic and separating them, holding each in an array out in front of her.

"First, Rainbow Dash," she said, addressing the corresponding mare, "how did you meet your pet?"

The winding tale of the race through ghastly gorge was recounted.

"Checks out." she said releasing Rainbow Dash, "Dash, go stand in the kitchen till I'm done."

"Now, AJ, tell me about the time..."

The process went on until only one of the DJ's, one of the Rarities and (obviously) the other Twilight were contained within her magical grip.

Twilight solidified the magic containing her prisoners, allowing her to go into the kitchen, where her verified neighbors had gathered.

"So, girls, what's going on here?"

"We were about to kick us some changeling flank!" Rainbow shouted.

"Did you SEE that imposter? She got my mane all wrong! It's terrible!" Rarity added.

The Cakes had their heads on the ground in apparently terrified submission to the princess, but Mr. Cake rose a hoof like a schoolchild with an answer to a teacher’s question.

"Yes Mr. Cake?" Twilight asked.

"Princess, those ponies claimed to be your entourage... They were helping us prepare for the party. ...Did you not send them?" he asked.

"No, they made the same frantic claims as well, but the hoofmaidens -my hoofmadens- are all blonde with white coats. I don't understand why these-"

"Princess!" an out of breath Brush called from the kitchen doorway. She came in and bowed every inch as deep as the cakes. "I was only gone for a second! I apologize for any transgressions my fellow servants may have caused you or your friends princess! I told them it was a terrible idea to change their manes and such! Please do not banish them! (or me!)"

Twilight was quite upset now. Not at the servants, no, this situation was actually funny once she understood. No, she was upset with herself.

This silly mare really seemed to believe that Twilight intended to banish them for pulling a prank. She actually felt terrible that this pony would think her so much of a tyrant that she would sentence banishment for such a small thing.

The parallelism was not lost on Twilight. These mares did not know her that well, so it could be excused, but in her case... She promised herself she would apologize to the princess as soon as possible.

Twilight looked at the pleading mare with a sad smile, “No, silly filly, I'm not going to banish anyone."

Preview: "You are under arrest for kidnapping, evading arrest, attempted murder and high treason!" the guard shouted as he and another advanced on the cornered pony.

"What!" Mr. Cake yelled, "Pinkie, what did you do!"

Back Up a Bit

Twilight was not happy about Pinkie grabbing her from her bed so early in the morning. But whereas she was used to Pinkie's antics, her newly appointed royal guards were not. While Twilight may have been upset, the guards charged with protecting her were VERY upset.

While Twilight struggled in vain to get Pinkie to put her down, the guards had taken to attempting to tackle the pink menace. Pinkie had apparently interpreted their actions as a game of keep away as she jumped and weaved away from every strike they attempted.

Their journey was short though, as Sugarcube Corner was not too far from the library to begin with.

When the fumbling entourage entered Sugarcube corner the guard finally managed to surround the princess-napping party pony.

Pinkie forgot how this game was supposed to be played, what was she supposed to do now again? She thought back to the last time she saw it played... Oh yeah! She finally remembered how this game was supposed to be played!

She chucked Twilight right out the window as hard as she could.

...

The quartet of guards stood frozen in place. They simply looked between the pink pony and the now absent window.

The sound of glass breaking drew the attention of the Cakes, and they came running not a moment later. "What's going on in here?" Mr. Cake asked. His eyes fell on his live-in apprentice, babysitter, and pseudo-daughter, but more importantly his eyes fell upon the guards that surrounded her.

"YOU are under arrest for kidnapping, evading arrest, attempted murder and high treason!" the guard shouted as he and another advanced on the cornered pony.

"What!" Mr. Cake yelled, "Pinkie, what did you do!"

One of the two guards not combating the potentially regicidal mare went to secure Mr. And Mrs. Cake. The final guard went out the door to retrieve the princess.

"I was just playing that one game with Twilight!" Pinkie laughed. She continued to bounce in the corner, apparently oblivious to the gravity of the situation.

"What game?" Mr. Cake asked fearfully.

"The one where you grab an alicorn and throw them as hard as you can!" Her bouncing did not slow, "I saw Shining and Cadence playing it in the Crystal Empire one time! It looked like a lot of fun, but the only alicorns I know are too heavy! Maybe Luna would be ok, but she hasn't visited since Nightmare Night, so now that Twilight's a-"

The guards finally managed to tackle the pink menace.

"You are going to jail for a long time for this!" the guard said triumphantly as he stood back to look at the quick work he made of tying the criminal's hooves.

"Awww, party pooper! If you wanted a turn you should have just asked!"

Twilight remembered that it was a first floor window she had been so ungracefully sent through, so she was not expecting impact to take this long.

She dared to open her eyes, only to see that she wasn't heading towards the ground, she was going across it, just a little bit above it. She looked back.

"Oh. Right. Wings." She glided a few more yards to a stop, "Well that was... Actually kind of fun."

"Princess!" one of the guards yelled, running up behind her, "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm alright." she said dabbing a hoof to her face to check for blood. "Smashing that window with my face doesn't seem to have caused any harm."

"We recognize our grievous error in not stopping her before she entered the library. We will capture the perpetrator soon princess."

"No, it's alright. One of the first things you'll learn living in Ponyville is that you just let Pinkie do what she does and try not to think about it." Twilight gave the guard a reassuring smile. There was some shouting and the sounds of a struggle back the bakery, "We should probably head back."

When Twilight Came once again through the bakery's door she was surprised to discover that the guard had actually managed to secure the crazed party pony and had begun loading her onto one of their backs while the Cakes watched in horror.

"Before things get even more out of hoof it would probably be best to just get out of your hair." she walked over to her guards and directed them to leave as she untied their pink prisoner.

"I think I'll take my leave now, I'll see you later Pinkie." Twilight said as she unraveled the final rope.

"You can't leave yet!" She grabbed Twilight once again, "your party is only six hours away!"

Twilight fought her way out of the party pony's grip and headed to the door, "Don't worry Pinkie, I'll be here in time for the party." she said as she headed out.

When the princess was safely clear of the bakery's door the Cakes looked back to Pinkie with a mixture of confusion and fear.

"What party?" Mr. Cake asked with trepidation.

"Oh yeah! We're hosting a party for Twilight tonight!"

"You mean the princess?"

"Yuppers!"

Mr. and Mrs. Cake hit the ground unconscious as the party pony bounced into the kitchen.

"They're so excited they passed out! I wish I could do that!"

Preview: As they left the bakery, Twilight's guards clamped around her, not wanting to fail their charge again.

Twilight paid them no mind as she began walking in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. She was really curious as to why Applejack was so upset before.

Author's Note

Sorry for the short chapter, the next one will solve a few questions and one blaring plot hole. (Ha! I said plot-hole!)

The next chapter will be a longer one, so it will be spending a little longer on the presses than these chapters have been (unless things change)

QoTD: What ever happened to Pewee?

Trouble on the Farm

As they left the bakery, Twilight's guards clamped around her, not wanting to fail their charge again. they had already let too much happen to disgrace their proud title of royal guards, they didn't need anything else happening on their second day on the job.

Twilight paid them no mind as she led the group in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

The trot to the Acres was nothing new, but the pony-made forest seemed especially calm for the middle of a work day.

As they walked towards the farmhouse Twilight didn't notice when the guard in front of her stopped.

Pmf- "Ow! Sorry!" she said as she rubbed her nose where it impacted stallion backside. "Why'd we stop?" she asked looking around.

She quickly noticed that the guards were eyeing a stallion who was approaching from the side.

"Halt!" the forward guard shouted to the stallion.

The large stallion apparently paid them no mind as he continued forward. The guard tensed at the the stallion's boldness.

The guard stallions took defensive stances as the stallion continued toward the group.

"Halt!" The leading guard shouted again.

Applejack was sitting in her room attempting to sleep, but unable to even close her eyes. The image of Twilight laying there with all those pony's scattered around her burned in her mind...

She was unexpectedly torn from her musings by the sound of Applebloom bounding up the stairs to her room. She burst through the door panting.

"What's the hurry lil' sis" she asked, finding a little joy in her sister's exasperated expression.

"The royal guard are comin' and when Big Mac went to 'em they jumped him!" the little Apple said.

Applejack jumped out of bed, "Stay here, I'll go see what they want. If they want trouble I'll show them how hard country folk can buck."

Applejack quickly re-bound her mane into her signature ponytail, and made her tail match, finally putting on her stetson near the end.

"I'll go tell 'em off, jus' stay here for now, I'll be back in a minute." she said as she left the room.

When she reached the porch she saw that Apple bloom hadn't been kidding; there was a pair of royal guard approaching the old farmhouse, no sign of Big Mac with them.

When the small squad reached the front porch Applejack was the first to speak, "Now what's this all about?"

The lead of the two guards responded sternly, "The Princess is coming to the establishment 'Sweet Apple Acres'. We are here to inspect the premises before her arrival."

"Well that's nice and all, but we ain't up for tours, and we got a lot to do today, so I'll have to be askin' you to leave."

"I'm confident you can make time for the princess, the princess and her source specifically said you would."

"That's mighty presumptuous of the 'princess,' you can tell your 'princess' that those of us who work for a living have better things to do than to waste time goin' around harassing the common folk."

"Were sorry, but we are not in a position where we can take no for an answer right now."

The guard tried to walk around Applejack, but when he did, she turned and bucked him off the porch.

The other guard leapt from the formation and dragged her to the ground as the first entered the house.

"Applebloom run! Go find Rainbow Dash!" Applejack yelled as she tried to fight off the guards on top of her.

Eventually, the guard came back out of the house.

"Just a filly and an old mare inside, no apparent threats sir." he said as he exited the home.

"Good, go get the captain and the princess." one of the guards on top of Applejack said as he began to get off. He cautiously released her and backed away from the violent mare.

The home invading stallion ran off into the trees, returning from the trees a moment later.

"Announcing Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria!" he yelled in an apparently well-rehearsed proclamation.

She watched as out of the trees came two guards, Twilight, and, as Applebloom had said, her brother. More specifically, out came Twilight ON her brother.

Twilight was riding on top of Big Macintosh as the guards stood on either side. The guards held ropes that were draped around Mac's neck, at points interlacing with his signature plowing collar.

Applejack's blood boiled at the sight.

She sprinted for the group, making a running leap and tackling Twilight off of her bound brother.

"I thought more of you! You become a princess and suddenly you're just like those Canterlot unicorns! Buck! You're worse!"

The guard pried the farm mare off of the princess.

"What the hay are you doin' AJ!" Big Mac yelled.

AJ was in shock. Her brother had yelled at her. As far as she knew, Big Mac had never yelled before at all, let alone at her!

"Wha~" AJ began, her mouth refusing to make any more sound.

"Twilight, are you alright?" he asked, concern clear in his voice.

"Yeah, I really think that I~" she said as she tried to stand.

"Nope." Big Mac said before she could push herself up, bending down and with the aid of the guards worked to gently put Twilight back up to Big Mac's back.

Mac and the two guard quickly made their way inside the house.

Applejack watched the scene unfold in shock as the remaining guard not-so-gently escorted her away from the house and back to Ponyville.

Ponyville Maximum Security (it isn't) *now with 20% more explained AJ emotion!

Applejack sat in her prison cell (which consisted of a locked room in town hall after the guards had confronted the reality that such a small town didn't have a jail) and she thought about what she had seen that day.

"Mac..." she said as she stared off into space.

She was brought back to reality when the door to her "cell" opened and one of the guards from before walked in.

"You are hereby formally charged with treason and assaulting the princess. Due to the nature of your offense you face the potential for banishment or life imprisonment. To expedite your processing I must ask you some questions. Will you comply? Before you answer, I am required to inform you that if you do not, you face..." There was a knocking at the door. "One moment." the guard said as he left the room.

After a few minutes of Applejack alone with her thoughts two guards came into the room together.

"You have a visitor." one guard, the same one who was about to ask 'some questions', said. The other just stood in the corner.

The door to the cell opened to reveal the purple princess in question.

"Hey there Applejack." Twilight said with a concerned smile.

Applejack didn't even turn to look at her.

"Uh... So, uh, sorry about the jail thing, I'll have you out soon. ...But Applejack? I'm kind of worried about you... Why'd you jump me? And why'd you get so upset and leave this morning?"

Twilight flinched as Applejack shot her an icy stare.

"Oh, I'm sorry princess. Maybe you should order ME into your bed, or you could ride ME around, actually I'm sure that it'd be such an honor to be your doormat! Psh! I can't believe you." Applejack resumed her staring at the wall, scowl still etched on her face.

"Uh... What? I don't understand what..."

"Of course you don't see it! You’re from Canterlot! None of you hoity-toity snobs think about anything but yourselves! Demeaning the Earth Ponies like we're you property. I used to think you were different, now I see you're just like 'em."

"AJ? What are you talking about? How have I 'Demeaned Earth Ponies?'"

"I've seen the way you treat us since you became princess. Getting your guards to ransack ma' house, forcing Mac to carry you like some kind of slave, and forcing those four into your bed to do who knows what!"

"Sleep, Applejack, that's what! I 'ordered' them to sleep with me because they wanted to sleep on the hard wood floor, you would've known that if you had stuck around to hear me explain myself. And as for Mac carrying me, he was being a gentlecolt after he saw me twist my ankle on the way here!"

Applejack's hard expression faltered a little. "What about you havin' him tied up like that, and yer guards breaking into our house?"

"After pinkie managed to run off with me this morning my guards have been especially on edge. They put those ropes on Mac while he was carrying me to make sure he didn't run off with me (like Pinkie did), while the other guards checked out the place Mac offered for me to sit while they called for a doctor. They were checking the house for- I don't know- an ambush or something, and when you went and bucked the guard captain, they were even more inclined to believe that there was a trap."

Applejack's jaw was no the floor. It all actually made sense, Mac being nice and the guard being overprotective suddenly seemed a lot more reasonable than Twilight's personality doing a one-eighty.

... But that meant that everything was effectively her fault. If she hadn't jumped to conclusions and ran out she would have heard the explanation. If she would have herd the explanation Twi wouldn't have been worried and come over. If she hadn't come over she wouldn't have twisted her ankle and needed carried. If she hadn't been so violent, the guards probably would have been nicer about their search. If she hadn't jumped to conclusions about Mac helping Twi, and subsequently jumped Twi, she wouldn't be in jail awaiting possible banishment charges.

It was all her fault... and the worst part was, it was all because she assumed the worst about her friend.

"Twi..." the orange farmer looked to her friend-turned-princess-turned-victim, "I..." she choked a little on the words, "I want to say I'm sorry... I just... Granny always used to tell us about back in the day when there were unicorns from Canterlot who would come down here and…” She looked her princess friend right in the face, “-and I’m right sorry about it, but I think on some level I’ve always just been waiting for you to, I don't know, turn out bad or something.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked neutrally.

“I mean, I was raised in an Earth-pony village by a deep-rooted pure-Earth-pony family. As a filly always heard stories about unicorns from Canterlot being just downright bad, flaunting their magic and treating us like- like- well, like how I thought you were treating those mares we found you with.” Applejack turned away and bowed her head, “Rarity’s always been a nice gal’ but sometimes she’s just a little insensitive about flaunting her magic, I know she doesn't mean to, it’s just…" she released a tense sigh, composure breaking down "...Looking back at it, I see that after I really found out who you were, being so powerful and all, I kinda always… How do I... Like during winter wrap up, or when I worked myself so hard during harvest season... I saw that our traditions… I mean, you could do the work of almost the whole town by yourself and it was just so… I guess I’ve always just seen you as just too good to be true. Like one day you’d just turn around and be somepony else... Somepony like the unicorns from granny’s stories… I guess that all that's been happening I finally just saw what I wanted to see…”

Both mares were silent for a moment before Applejack retrained her eyes square with Twilight’s, still lacking their signature spark, but with no lack of determination.

“I’m sorry. I'll take my punishment like a Mare. Do what you want with me, but please make sure Mac takes care of Aplebloom..." The proud farm pony's face only betrayed the slightest hint of sadness through its charade of stern confidence.

"AJ,” Twilight’s even tone calmed the farm pony down a little “I’m glad to hear that you’re working through a problem you may not have even recognized you had, and I’ll try to be more sensitive about this in the future, but for now we have a party to get to and I still have some things to do before it starts." Twilight turned and opened the “cell” door, “Come on now, I wouldn’t want any of my friends to miss a Pinkie party.”

"Wha? Twi, I'm in jail for assaulting a princess!-"

"Yeah, I know, and that princess realizes her friend was just being an idiot. Let's go get some cake."

With faint smiles, Twilight and AJ walked out of town hall, breaking course from one another, one heading to Sugarcube corner, and the other heading to the library with her guard company.

"I'm going to a party tonight, and since you all have been a little less than adaptive to good old Ponyville, I'm asking you all to just stay here while I'm at the party." Twilight spoke with authority, leaving little room for argument.

...but true to form, the guards didn't respond well to the idea of their charge going off alone.

"Princess," the Captain spoke, "I must object to this, what if there are-"

Twilight, who had assumed that the guards had received her message and had turned to leave, wheeled back around.

"Captain? Do you know who I am?" the princess asked, annoyance thick in her voice as she put a hoof to her temple in hopes of quelling an approaching headache.

The guard snapped to attention, "Princess, You are Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria, Princess!"

"~and before that I was?~"

"The Element of Magic, Princess!"

"~and as the element of magic, what did I do?~" she asked, building to her point.

"Um..." the guard captain was at a loss for her expected answer.

"I'll tell you, I defeated Nightmare Moon, Discord, an Ursa, the Changeling Queen and Army, and the Dark King Sombra. Since then I have even created new magic and ascended to the even more powerful, and potentially immortal, form of an alicorn. Do you know what that means?"

The guard stood stock still, a bead of sweat running down his face, he didn't respond.

"I'll tell you: it means I can handle going to a private party with my friends without you. That's what it means." she promptly walked out and slammed the door with her magic. Or at least it felt like a slam to the guards who remained griped by the fear that plagues those who cross a mare.

After probably ten minutes one guard finally shook off his shock. "Uh... So captain? What do we do now?" he asked.

The captain shook away the visions of his demise at the hooves of a violet alicorn and looked around the library, "Well..."

Guards and Listening Skills

"Uh... So captain? What do we do now?" he asked.

The captain shook away the visions of his demise at the hooves of a violet alicorn and looked around the library, "Well, she has dismissed us for the night, so... We're free to do what we want."

"Woooo! Let's find a bar!"

"Dasher! While on any other day I'd agree, we still need to stay focused. This is an important time: the transitioning in of the new princess so recently presents a threat those who might not like the idea of a suddenly adding another princess out of the blue. So while we may have been dismissed for the night, we are still going to do our duty." Captain Blue Blazer told his troops.

"While I'd rather go with Dasher's idea, I agree with the captain." Stonehoof said, "What are we going to do captain?"

Blue Blazer looked to the door, "The princess dismissed us, and we are technically not permitted to wear our armor off-duty so first we're going to shelve these uniforms, and then we're...."

Twilight looked at the pleading mare with a sad smile, "No, silly filly, I'm not going to banish anyone."

"Then... What are you going to do with us princess?" Brush asked, avoiding meeting the princess's gaze.

"You are all hereby sentenced-"

The other impersonating maids dropped to the ground. Brush cringed hard, as if trying to shut out what she was about to hear. Breeze was trying to hold back tears as Bristle butted up next to her to comfort her.

"-to-"

Now even Twilight's friends were concerned about where this was going.

"-stay here and help us clean up the party afterwards."

"-Please princess! Reconsider! We- Oh," she looked to her fellow condemned, "I think I heard that wrong, what did she say?"

"I said: you are sentenced to help us clean up after the party." Twilight said with a gentile smile.

"So... We only have to clean up? No banishment? No prison? No moon?"

"Nope, just help clean up. Well, and also you three need to change your manes. It's difficult to tell you apart from my friends (and to be honest it's kind of creeping me out.) Where did you even meet Vinyl?" she twirled her hoof at the spitting image of the DJ standing in front of her.

"She was at the spa with us when we did all this!" Cloud said, puffing out her chest at the announcement.

"Ok, well, I guess that resolves that. Anyway, it's been stalled too long already: Pinkie? Let's get this party started!"

In true Pinkie party fashion the room exploded as Twilight gave the call. Confetti rained down from the ceiling, music began playing, and the food spilled by the fights disappeared, replaced on the tables with whole and untouched plates of cakes and other treats.

The party had begun!

After a while of preforming general party activities Applejack pulled Twilight aside.

"Ya know, I gotta' say that I didn't even notice it myself until now, but you were more right than I thought."

Twilight looked to the farm pony. "What do you mean?" she asked, confused.

"Just look at 'em, what do you notice is different about her?" AJ said, pointing to the Rarity look-alike with barely hidden humor in her voice.

"Um... Nothing... What's different about them? She looks like a perfect copy with her mane like that." Twilight said, still looking for flaws in the white pony's disguise. "I mean with her cutie mark covered like that..."

"No Twi, think about what we talked about earlier."

Twilight looked to her farmer friend incredulously for a moment and then back to the doppelgänger.

Twilight face-hoofed as she joined Applejack in laughter.

"Wow... I can't believe I missed that!" the purple princess laughed, feeling silly about her now obvious oversight.

"It makes me happy that you didn't Twi, it really does."

The incognito captain couldn't tell what the princess was talking about, actually, he couldn't tell who she was talking to either. In fact, from his angle he was lucky to see the princess at all.

"Stonehoof, a little higher, she's almost out of view."

"Can't sir. Dasher can you push him up higher?" Stonehoof asked from the bottom of the three pony ladder.

"Nope, I'm already stretching as much as I can." the middle rung strained.

"Uh... Captain? I know I haven't done as many field assignments under my saddle as you do, but... Is it really a good idea to be spying on the princess like this when she specifically told us not to?" asked Bastion from where he stood eyeing his colleges, "I mean, I don't really feel comfortable just going around breaking her orders like this... Especially like this." he gestured to the trio, "I mean really, did we have to look through the highest window? We look- well, you all look ridiculous."

"All the other windows have the curtains drawn, and besides we're just making sure she doesn't hurt herself like before." Blue Blazer responded, "What if she hurt herself, and we weren't there to help like last time?"

"Sir, with all due respect, if we hadn't been there, she wouldn't have gotten hurt at all. It really seems that this little town doesn't have any threats that require- Wait! Who is that?"

Now, as one could expect, a well-trained soldier is conditioned to react quickly, a skill even more crucial to the members of the royal guard.

As such, Stonehoof, Dasher, and Blue Blazer were all quick to react to the call of possible danger. Any other time their quick reactions could be commended, but when being the rungs of a pony-based ladder, such sudden movement is not appreciated.

The tower of stallions fell down, conveniently toppling into the shrubberies nearby. Bastion followed them in as the cloaked figure approached the bakery.

"I don't like this..." Dasher whispered to the group. "Not one bit."

Silently the figure walked up to and knocked upon the door.

They watched as the pink kidnapper from earlier answered the door and upon seeing the cloaked figure, came out, closing the door behind her.

"What's going on? I can't hear them." Dasher whispered.

"Shhhh!" Blue Blazer commanded, "I think they're planning something..."

They watched as the figure removed her hood revealing a striped mohawk and fur pattern.

"It's a shamanistic witchdoctor!" Dasher screamed as loud as whispering would allow.

The other stallions simply stared at him.

"That's just silly. A witch doctor! Really!" After focusing on Dasher's outburst and Blue Blazer’s denouncement, every pony in the bush turned back to the mares to find an empty stoop and the last light of a closing door.

"Whoever she was, I'm certain there are no Zebras on Ponyville's census ledger, making her a non-accounted entity within our operational window. Gentelcolts, we have ourselves a job to do."

"Uh captain? Why don't we just go in and ask the princess if she's alright? I mean, we COULD just ask her if she knows the, admittedly very suspicious, Zebra in question."

This time it was Bastion that got the funny look from the group, "And why don't you just march up in there and tell the princess we were spying on her and broke orders?" Blue Blazer replied, "I just want the princess to be safe, that means not having her only protection sent back to Canterlot for breaking orders on our first full day on the job."

"Ok, then I will!" Bastion stood up from the group's leafy hiding spot.

"You better not rat us all out ya crazy-"

"Don't get your armor in a twist, I won't tell her anything about you guys. I'll take the heat alone if it comes to that." Bastion stormed out of the bush and entered through the same door as the suspicious cloaked traveler.

"He's screwed isn't he?" Dasher said as soon as the door closed behind his associate.

"Probably, but that's not our concern now. We have a possible assassin to deal with."

"It's very nice to meet you Miss Zecora," Bastion said with a light bow, "and thank you princess for clearing that up."

Twilight chuckled, "No problem, I should be thanking you for worrying enough about me and coming along despite my outburst before. I really didn't mean to explode like that. It's just I've had a tough day. This party is really helping with that though."

Bastion rose from his second bow (this one to the princess) and looked right at her with a smile, "Think nothing of it princess. It is my job after all."

"Regardless, thanks. You should stay and mingle, get to know my friends a little better, Celestia knows you'll be seeing a lot of them."

"Are you going somewhere princess?" he asked, ready to follow her.

"Just for a minute, Zecora here wants some help with a potion she's working on. It shouldn't take too long."

"Give me a moment, I'll come with you." he said as he made his way over to the cupcake assortment set up on the banquet table.

"No need, I'll be fine, you just enjoy the party"

"But princess!"

"That's an order, stay here and enjoy the party." Taking a page from Pinkie's book, Twilight used her magic to grab a cupcake and delicately land it on the anxious guard’s nose, "Seriously, you need to lighten up."

Twilight's calming reassurance (on top of the fact it is hard to stay serious when there is a confections on the end of your nose) made Bastion begin to relax.

"It's not like there's anything in the Everfree Forest that I have to worry about hurting me." Twilight said with a smile as she headed out the door with the zebra mare.

The cupcake fell off of Bastions nose as he processed what the princess had told him.

"The Everfree Forest!?!"

Bad Timing

"The Everfree Forest!?!"

"That's what I said Dasher, the Everfree Forest."

"But captain! Why do we have to follow her? She said-"

"I don't really care what she said. Our first priority is the princess' safety, and since it doesn't appear that Bastion reported us, we will continue to follow her until... well, we'll just follow her, and that’s the end of that."

"There they are!" Stonehoof's eyes were closed but his extended hoof was tracking in a slowly moving trace across a stretch of the forest.

Although difficult, if one looked where he was pointing they would see a purple alicorn and zebra moving nigh-invisibly in the dark forest.

"We'll follow them from a few dozen paces behind." Blue Blazer said as he began in the direction Stonehoof's scrying spell indicated.

"Well that didn't work! Any other bright ideas captain?" shouted Dasher.

"Shut it! We'd have been lost even sooner if it weren't for me!" the captain responded.

"Oh no we wouldn't! At worst we'd be lost in a few pints at the Ponyville bar! But no! You had to make us follow the princess against orders and out of our armor into the crazy forest!"

"Speak for yourself Dasher. Anyway, it looks like there is a light ahead, maybe it's where the Princess went.

"Such a weighty plea
I would not entree,
Were utmost speed
not in such desprate need."

"It's not a problem Zecora, really." Twilight reassured with a little trepidation. "It's the least I can do for a friend, I'm just happy to be able to help. It really is a lucky coincidence though, that I'd become an alicorn just in time to help you with this potion."

"Luck is not what I see,
T'was, as I'm sure you know, destiny."

"Well, uh, if you don't mind me asking, what is this potion for? I've never heard of a potion that mentions alicorn-specific ingredients..."

"It is a rare brew indeed,
One that serves a very special need.
Though the feathers of a pegasus would suffice,
those of an alicorn would work quite nice,
for the brew I now seek to make,
will serve a task it was not meant to take,
with a powerful sleeping spell,
a most fearful monster I seek to quell."

"What kind of monster?"

"You were right captain, they're in there!"

Blue Blazer grunted from exertion, he had the bottom position in the spying pony ladder this time. "And what are they doing?

"I think... I think... She's harvesting her body! She's taking the princess's feathers!"

"Then it's go time! Save the princess!"

"Just do it gently please, they're new and I'm not used to the sensations yet." Twilight asked from where she sat on the table. Zecora had a few choice feathers picked out and was carefully manipulating them away from the others for removal.

It was at that perfectly opportune moment that the front door to the hut was kicked hard enough to knock one of its hinges loose.

A quick sweep of the room that revealed many terrible things, bones, skulls, bubbling potions and smoking brews, terrifying masks and creepy candles, a zebra with a mouthful of feathers and a wide eyed alicorn.

"Don't worry princess we'll save-"

Twilight watched in shock as Zecora dropped the large cluster of feathers that had been unceremoniously ripped from her wing, and then looked to eyes of the Zebra who was also still processing what had just happened.

She risked a glance at her wing and immediately regretted it. She could see her down feathers in places that should only be visibly populated by critical-for-flight primary feathers.

After a few milli-seconds of processing she looked back to Zecora, who was still frozen in shock, and then to the true cause of the problem.

"...we'll save-" she blasted him with a stun spell, the other two were down less than a second later.

"Ugh... What happened? The princess!" Blue Blazer's eyes shot open as the events leading up to his unconsciousness replayed in his mind.

"Yeah... About that..." Dasher said as he peeked in from the kitchen, "She's gone."

"We've got to find her!"

"Nah, not really," he said coming out of the kitchen with a sandwich, "she left a note that says and I quote, 'Go home together once you're all awake. I'll be back to the library once my friend Zecora and I finish something.' and if you couldn't hear it, the 'friend' was underlined."

"Well, I guess it’s nothing to worry about then... huh... Where's Stonehoof?"

Dasher suddenly lost apparently even the concept of eye-contact "He's ...uh... nowhere! Nope! He's just nowhere. In fact, who is this Stonehoof? I've never heard of him..."

"Dasher, you are probably the worst liar since the element of honesty got Discorded. Now tell me, where is Stonehoof?"

"He's uh... Camping!"

"Dasher?"

"He went for a walk!"

"Dasher?"

"Sailing! Bowling! Hangliding!"

"Dasher!"

"Suba-diving!"

"Dasher!!! So help me Celestia!"

"He went off to find the Princess! He pretended to be knocked out by the princess's spell and listened as she and the Zebra talked. He overheard that the feathers that the princess was giving to her were being used to make an alicorn-class sleeping potion. The princess and the Zebra went out to use it."

"And what in the name of Discord do they need an alicorn-class sleeping potion for? I'm not a potions major, but anything made from alicorn should be way more than medicinal. Something that powerful should be able to knock out a celestial beast!"

"Well that's good I guess..."

"No... No... Please don't tell me..."

"A Lupus."

"BUCK! Why doesn't she just teleport into the sun! How about Cerebus's stomach? I swear she's TRYING to get herself killed! We're going after them!"

"Sir she specifically said-!"

"Buck what she wants! I'm tired of this! Celestia told me specifically to keep her student safe, and so help me I'm going to keep her safe! Despite her best efforts to the contrary! Let's go!"

"Pass me the blow gun princess." Stonehoof requested. He had caught up to the mares shortly after they left the hut, and rather than send him back and risk him getting lost, Twilight had begrudgingly allowed him to come along.

They currently sat outside the cave in which their prey dwelt.

"I really think Zecora can handle it." Twilight passed the hollow bamboo blow gun to its owner, who turned it away to Stonehoof.

"Although my aim is true,
I am likely not as quick as you,
I would make the shot,
but I fear I would be quickly caught.
If you desire to aid us now,
for you to shoot, I would allow."

"Ok then, but be careful, the potion should work quickly, but this hasn't been tried before, so we don't know for sure. If anything goes wrong just run and I'll deal with him."

"Yes princess." Stonehoof gave a final nod-bow to his charge and went into the cave.

"I sure hope the Lupus is asleep." Twilight said as she kept a concerned watch on the cave entrance.

"Do not fear my dear Twilight,
For the Lupus hunts at night
and through the day
It tucks away
Until the setting light."

"But it's starting to get dark right now? Shouldn't it be waking up soon?"

"Only when the stars are out
do celestial beasts roam about."

"Oh, then we're good."

"Unless, of course,
the are awoken by force..."

"Find anywhere they may have gone?" Blue Blazer asked after a little while of searching under the sun that was just now beginning to set.

"Are you serious? The Everfree is like a bazillion miles across! They could be anywhere! Let's just head back to the village already like the princess told us!"

"Your input is noted. Now, do you have anywhere they could have gone?"

"I think there's a large cave a ways back..."

"Good we'll look there first! Show me the way!"

"No, I'm sorry sir, but we are not spelunking in a random cave for the princess who could already be back in town by now! This is ridiculous!"

"Calm down! We're just going to go to the cave entrance, no further, and yell in to see if they're there, nothing more, and if they're not there, we'll head straight home to the library. Ok?"

"We're only going to yell inside?"

"Yep, only yell inside."

Explanations

"So tell us! I mean, dear Celestia, I haven't seen that much blood in my whole career! She must have been kickin' some serious flank out in the forest to come home like that without a scratch on her."

"Well actually... About that..."

Twilight couldn’t help but crack a smile as she trotted up to her room. The look on her "guards" faces were definitely the highlight of her otherwise terrible morning.

Closing the door firmly behind her, her smile faded as she remembered what she had to do, bearing great fear for what she might find.

“May as well get this over with…” She crossed the room to survey the damage in a mirror. Giving herself a through look over, she could see just how bad the damage really was.

Oh no…

Seeing the signs of a panic attack coming on, she shook her head to drive away the terrible thoughts that began to fill her mind. “NO!” Looking once again at herself in the mirror, she reached a conclusion, and she had to accept it.

"This is going to take forever to wash off!" She tried to get a closer look at her tail, but it was so weighted down with mud and blood that she couldn’t lift it with her tail’s strength alone. "Might as well get this over with... Now I kind of understand why I might need hoofmadens.

She ran a bath with a weary sigh.

"Thanks for the party Miss Pinkie and for letting us sleep over Miss Applejack" Soft said as the four mares and one dragon passed through the farm gateway.

"Thanks for coming, it's always nice to welcome new ponies to Ponyville, but are you sure you don't want to stay for breakfast?

"Sorry, we can't, Somepony has to make the princesses’ breakfast, and from what you told us we'd rather not let her highness try herself."

Spike hoped off of Rarity's back, "I'll go, I always do it anyway."

Soft raised a hoof, waving off the idea, "All the more reason for us to do it Sir Spike. Take the day off, we'll handle it. Besides, this lets us use what you all taught us last night."

Well alright, but y'all come back anytime now. We're always open for company here at the Acres!"

"You should! It'll be great! We could have another party and invite-" Applejack closed Pinkie's mouth.

"Heh, and she's always ready to party. Have a nice day girls, and remember what we talked about. Ponyville's a crazy place, but you'll learn to love her."

"We will, and thanks again!" and with that, Bristle, Brush, Cloud, and Breeze left the farm to head home to the library.

Before they got past the gates of the acres, Spike came running up behind them.

"Wait!" the little drake shouted.

"Sir Spike, you need not come back with us, we said we'd handle breakfast today." Soft spoke for the group.

"Yeah, you can do it, just give this to Twilight." he passed her a scroll marked with Celestia's seal, "It just arrived from the princess. Celestia that is."

"We will."

And with that, Spike ran back into the house, utilizing every second he could in the presence of his beloved.

As the troupe entered Ponyville proper Brush addressed them all, “When we get home we should ask the princess how she wants us to look."

"Oh! Good idea, after breakfast we can head back over to the spa and finally get this all sorted out. I'm not too big a fan of how everypony keeps bowing at me..." as Breeze spoke, another unwitting early-riser of Ponyville bowed their head to the passing "princess".

"Aww! Come on! It's hilarious!" said Cloud, "It's not like it's hurting anyone!"

Soft gave Cloud a hard stare. "Regardless of who it hurts, we shouldn't be parading around town impersonating royalty."

"You're making it seem like-!"

"No Cloud, we're not arguing about this. We're here, let's just find the princess and get this sorted out."

"Sure, whatever." Cloud scoffed under her breath, "killjoy"

Soft opened the door to the library and allowed the other members of the quartet to enter, following close behind.

Let's go help the princess get up and ready before we start on breakfast.

Passing the sleeping Blue Blazer on the sofa, the girls made their way up the stairs and into Twilight's room.

Finding the bead empty, and noticing the light under the door, they made their way over to the bathroom.

When they opened the door, a terrifying sight met them.

There lay their princess, half under the surface of the tub, head lulled to one side, the water deep red with blood.

They screamed.

Twilight was enjoying a wonderful dream of flying when she was suddenly jolted awake by screaming what felt like inches from her head.

Her limbs bicycled for a second before she remembered where she was. She flipped over, sinking momentarily into the water before raising up to see what the screaming was about.

"ZOMPONEEEEEEEEE!"

"...Ok, do you understand now? I. AM. NOT. A. ZOMPONY. Why does everypony keep thinking that zomponys are the logical conclusion! I just happen to be an immortal alicorn. Nothing unnatural. "

After her bath had been interrupted by screaming, waking her up causing more screaming, which caused the guards to come bursting in screaming, Twilight sat them all down for a talk.

"Sorry princess, we just thought-" Breeze began.

"We were surprised to find you like that. -We are sorry princess." Soft finished.

"I guess it's my fault for... Uh... Well it's probably my fault somehow, so don't worry about it." Twilight tucked her wings, and flopped into a chair. Freshly bathed and with a small nap, she was feeling a little bit better, but now that she wasn't so preoccupied she could feel she was starving.

*Grumble*

"Oh! Princess, we’ll get started on breakfast now!" the group tripped over themselves to get to the kitchen and make it up to their princess.

"Oh! Princess," Soft turned back, producing a scroll, "Sir Spike said to deliver this to you."

Twilight took the scroll, thanking Soft for delivering it.

As Soft walked away to help in the kitchen, Twilight unrolled the scroll.

"Dear Twilight,

I trust you are settling in well to your new station? I am happy to announce that your coronation continues to excite and inspire the population of Canterlot. But you know how slowly news seems to travel out of Canterlot.

-No kidding, the entire city was preparing for weeks before the royal wedding and we didn't hear anything until Spike's letter.-

It has now come to my attention that many still remain unaware of their newest princess, and as such, I have taken the liberty of preparing for you a series of appearances across Equestria that shall help the citizens of Equestria better embrace their newest princess.

A copy of your itinerary is attached.

-Celestia"

Twilight flipped the page to find the itinerary on the back.

"Huh... The first location is Appaloosa... On the sixth..."

"..."

"That's tomorrow!"

Author's Note

I don't like writers who just post a "chapter" that's actually an update on the state of a story, so in turn I don't, but when there is something I want to throw by the readers for review I do a blog post asking for opinions. Good idea right? It allows me to get feedback without doing the aforementioned not-chapter updating, Right?

Wrong. I tried doing this with several recent events involving this story, and there was one response. One. So, if you'd like to put your two bits in about the direction of this story check it out and post your opinions here. Or you could become a ~~mindless drone~~ faithful follower and get these updates instantly in the future.

Travel and Preparation

It had been just over a year since she had been on this exact train to Appaloosa, and just like then, she had the last three cars of the train reserved. This time though, rather than her friends, her entourage occupied the bunked sleeping car, and instead of Bloomberg, this time she rested in the cavernous last car.

She had spent the time reading, but it had still been a boring trip compared to her last time on this route.

She heaved a sigh as she stared out at the plains of buffalo territory zooming by.

Much more boring... she decided.

Yawning, she laid down for a nap.

Captain Blue Blazer was upset. It was easy to tell from his reddened face and quickened pace as he stormed up and down the railcar's isle. The only problem for the troops under his command though, was deciding if he was red out of anger at them for not waking him up sooner, or from the embarrassment of passing out while on duty and sleeping through the whole day.

Dasher decided to bank on the latter, and he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass..

"Do you want an update on what happened while you were relaxing sir?" Dasher asked.

"I was not relaxing!" he snapped.

"Then what were you doing? You looked pretty peaceful to me?"

"Just shut up Dasher! I don't want to hear about it!"

"There were some things you should probably hear about sir." Bastion gently objected.

"Like what happened to the princess after we ran off like cowards." Dasher scoffed under his breath -just loud enough for the captain to hear.

"We did not 'run like cowards' we made a tactical retreat!" Blazer shouted, "It's an acceptable strategy!"

"Pshhh! Yeah, we made a retreat... LEAVING THE PRINCESS BEHIND! We were ran like fillies leaving the-"

"She came back unharmed! That's all that matters! You know what? No. We're not talking about this anymore. Everypony came back unharmed. End of story, that's all that matters."

"But sir-"

"I said end of story." Blue Blazer enforced his point by stomping away.

Bastion and Dasher shared a dubious look.

The conductor's scratchy voice came over the intercom announcing their arrival in fifteen minutes, waking Twilight from her nap.

She gently rose from her cushion, and began her way to the sleeper car where her posse was.

...or should have been. The car's bunks and narrow isles were empty, beds made and luggage racks empty.

"Where'd they go?"

She continued onward to the food car. She stopped at the door when she herd arguing inside.

"What do you mean 'a hugely un-necessary risk'? This is absolutely necessary!"

"Prancing around singing? Leaving us exposed in an unfamiliar town with an un-vetted population? We could be walking into a trap! That parade formation was made specifically for Canterlot Castle assembly hall, not some backwater train depot! We should come in as quietly as possible, let us get off first and clear a path and then bring the princess out under one of Stonehoof's shields!"

"It's just a friendly visit! The whole reason for doing this is for good PR exposure! Coming in looking like a hot-and-heavy military convoy bringing in a fugitive is the opposite of what we are trying to do here! Now just get your armor on, I'll go get the princess so we can get her into her dress."

Twilight drew back from the door and tried her best to look like she hadn't just been eavesdropping.

"Ah! Princess, we were just coming to get you!" Brush said as she saw Twilight. "We're almost ready!"

"Ready?" Twilight asked, eyeing the mare once again wearing the same caparison and banister as she had during her coronation ceremony.

"-for your introduction, princess. All we need now is help you get into your dress and we'll be set." Breeze answered.

A peek through the open doorway revealed that they were all wearing the same garb and banners that they had for her coronation.

"Um... I'm not entirely sure what you mean..."

"Your royal introduction! We have to do your royal introduction in the next city!"

"...and what does that entail exactly?"

"The song! The procession! Everything!" Breeze happily exclaimed.

"Huh?" Twilight was actually quite confident that she knew what they meant, but that didn't mean she couldn't hold out hope and pretend to revel in blissful ignorance.

"You know! The one that goes 'princess Twilight cometh' and 'the princess is heeeeeere'!"

...please tell me you're kidding.

"We have to sing it! Her majesty princess Celestia has her trumpeters, Luna has her heralds, and you have us!"

Please no, uh... "I don't really think I need an introduction. I'm actually really familiar with this town and they know me pretty well."

"But what if some don't know? We have to be sure every pony knows that they are in the presence of royalty! If not, they might do something unbecoming! It's actually more of a curtesy making sure they know you're present if you think about it."

Twilight mulled over this idea. Sure, from her perspective it was silly, but she thought about how Rarity would react if Celesta just snuck up on her. There probably were not any Rarities in this town but better safe than sorry...

"Fine, but keep the pomp and circumstance to an absolute minimum. The people of Appaloosa are very down-to-Equestria bunch, they probably don't want us to be disturbing their town as it is."

The blonde mare nodded understandingly. "Yes your majesty, we'll try to keep a low profile..."

Twilight let out a sigh of relief. If they kept a low profile this might not be so-

"...after we sing your introduction."

Horseapples...

"Let's get this over with..." Twilight grumbled as the train pulled in to the station.

"Positions!" Brush called, arranging herself amongst the formation.

The doors opened and the wonderful singing voices innate in all equestrians began working their magic.

Maybe this really won’t be so bad… Twilight thought as she took her first step.

The thought was shared by the guardstallions as well…

...until Twilight was hit in the face with a pie.

"Sniper!"

A Warm Welcome

"Sniper!" Shouted Blue Blazer.

It was in fact not a sniper, as the group saw, but war.

Buffalo charged as ponies defended hay bale fortifications. Pies flew indiscriminately, hitting young and old, armed and unarmed alike. Ponies and buffalo lay strewn about the town, faces obscured by the pastries that claimed them.

"Princess!" the girls cried as they huddled around the fallen alicorn. The guards formed a perimeter around them.

"Back to the train!" Blue Blazer shouted just in time to turn and smack face-first into the train's closed doors.

The train blew its whistle and pulled away, leaving the group stranded in a war-zone.

Stonehoof cast a shield around them.

"Can we move her?" He shouted to Dasher who dropped to examine her.

"It was only a glancing blow. She should be fine." he said as he helped her up.

"Let's move!" Blue Blazer shouted as they began retreating to the nearest building.

Twilight did not follow, instead she charged her horn and a nearby pair of fighters were frozen in place. She trotted over to the scene.

They were frozen like a picture in the positions they stood in before the magic touched them.

One was a yellow stallion with an orange mane. He stood frozen on his hind legs, pie in a raised hoof, looking downward as if about to deliver a finishing blow.

The other was a young buffalo, who wore a purple and white triangle-patterned headband. She was cowering on her back, spindly legs attempting to cover her fear-etched face.

Twilight removed the pie from the stallion's hoof and contained him in a shield. For good measure she placed one around the young buffalo as well before releasing the spell that froze them.

The stallion drooped down to all four hooves.

"Now wha'd ya have to go and do that for? I nearly had her! I was just about to fin-" the words caught in his throat as he turned to face the one who stopped him.

Twilight stood in full regalia, wings flared, horn lit, and flanked by royal guardstallions.

"Princess!" He shouted falling to the ground.

The young buffalo followed suit, appearing even more afraid.

"STOP!" Twilight commanded the crowd.

The bedlam around town all stopped dead at the command of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Ponies and buffalo alike turned and dropped at the sight of the alicorn and her guard.

When the last of the fighting stopped, and the whole town lay in silent bows, Twilight addressed the two she held in her magic.

"Little Strongheart, Braburn, What's going on? Did you block their stampeding grounds again?" she asked, a stern gaze leveled at Braeburn.

He fearfully shook his head.

"Did you try to force them to take down more of their trees?"

Little Strongheart, trembling, shook her head.

"Did you not give them the pies they asked for?" She surveyed the scene, "It seems there is an unnatural abundance."

They both shook their heads.

"Then why are you fighting?"

"-We'll explain princess."

"Chief, Sheriff," Twilight smiled as the crowd parted to allow them through. They approached bowing, stopping together just before Twilight's hooves.

"Princess"

"Your majesty"

They spoke in unison, giving bows as deep as a large buffalo and an old stallion could.

"Rise and tell me what is going on here."

They rose and eyed each other until sheriff Silverstar spoke.

"We're celebrating princess."

"Ya see, everypony and everybuffalo had so much fun last year during the great pie war, we decided to do it again. For fun this time."

"Yes, your majesty," Chief Thunderhooves continued "Today marks the one year anniversary of the agreement that brought peace to our people."

That explains the tight scheduling I guess.

"So this is all a misunderstanding?" Twilight asked, feeling a little relieved.

"Yes, your majesty, I would presume to say it was."

"And it is all in good fun?"

They nodded.

Twilight thought a moment "Then, I only have one thing to say. In the language of the Neighponese..." behind the crowd's back her magic surrounded a pile of 'ammunition' stacked near one of the hay-bale blockades.

"BANZAI!" She let loose all the pies at once, indiscriminately raining them into the crowd.

With the inclusion of the princess and her group, the war restarted with renewed vigor.

There were no survivors of the second battle of the pies. Muddled reports of the pie-massacre-princess would later be whispered as rumor and legend. From that day forth, no pony ate pie in the presence of Twilight Sparkle without deep fear in their heart.

She didn't notice.

Author's Note

I realize this chapter is under my usual thousand-word-per-chapter minimum, but I'm not going to needlessly add word-mush to a chapter to boost word count. (I'll make it up to you)

Dear Santahooves,

I need an editor.

-Wages

Settling Inn

After the pastry based fun had worn down (and all the ammunition had been consumed) the royal group was properly introduced and a hardy Appaloosan welcome was delivered in the center of town.

No stage meant that not everypony should have been able to see the princess in the center of the crowd, but with buffalo offering their backs to the fillies and foals, and the hay-bale fortifications making fine box seats, every pony had a view of the visiting princess.

"Thanks everypony, and everybuffalo." she nodded to Sheriff Silverstar and Chief Thunderhooves respectively, "I'm thankful for your sincere welcome. I had a lot of fun today. ...Maybe a little too much fun... I apologize to those who I may have gone a little overboard on."

"It's no problem Princess!” A unicorn with a half dozen pie-pans impaled over his horn called out.

Twilight waited for the laughter to die down before continuing, "Anyway, since the reason for my visit is to get to know the citizens of Equestria better, I'll be spending the next few days here getting to know everypony.

I'll be observing everyday Appaloosan life and helping wherever I can, but I'm not going to learn much by just watching, so if there's anything you need help with, or would like me to try, I'd be happy to, just ask!"

The crowd cheered as Twilight made her way out of the limelight.

Sherrif Silverstar and Chief Thunderhooves came to the center:

"Thank ya' princess. I'm sure you're tired from your train ride over and our little celebration, so Braeburn here will show y'all to yer accommodations.

I've just got a few words for the town, nothing you need to worry about. You can go get some sleep yer majesty." he bowed towards her and made sure that the Apple was leading the princess away before returning his attention to the crowd, "Now ya'll heard what she said, so remember to be on yer best behavior. There's royalty about and we don't want her to be thinking we can't be civil, especially if... Are they gone?"
Everypony glanced around for any hide, hair, horn, or royal feather of the princess or her group. They were gone.

"Good. Let's get down to business. Now, as you know, we've only got a week for this to work and those guards are an unexpected hindrance. It'll be hard to get them away from the princess long enough to..."

The town was far too distracted with their plans to notice the lone armored unicorn who had come back to sneak one last pie.

"So how have you been?" Braeburn asked Twilight as they walked.

"Meh, fight some dark kings, create some magic, become a princess, you know: the usual."

Braeburn laughed as the group (minus one) walked across town to an unusually large building on the border of civilization and wilderness. “Settle Inn” read the sign above the door.

"Sorry this place is such a dump..." he said as he opened up the door to let the group in, "When we found out we'd be hosting you, your majesty, we thought we'd just have you as a guest on the farm... But when we saw your... er... group here, we thought we'd better find a bigger place for y'all."

The quality of the "dump" in question was overstated, as Twilight noticed quickly. The entryway showed signs of disuse, to be sure, but other than some dust the place was in pristine condition. It was actually rather ritzy for an abandoned hotel on the edge of a settler's town.

As if sensing the question coming, Braeburn headed it off. "This place was originally built by some fancy hotel chain when the town was first starting. They thought they'd make a killing off of the tourism and would eventually sell this place as prime real-estate." he paused, looking around "Needless to say, Appaloosa didn't, and still doesn't, have a tourism industry, and by the time they figured that out they also realized the town had stopped growing and that their land here was as worthless as when they bought it. It was even worse with the taxes considered. Eventually they just cut their losses and gave this place to the city in exchange for a break from their late payments."

The princess seemed fascinated by the building's history but the rest of the group resorted to sagely nodding in order to throw off suspicion that they didn't really care. They had more important things to worry about.

"Where is our room?" Blue Blazer asked.

"Well I uh... thought... Uh... How do many rooms do you need?"

"What?" Blue Blazer asked incredulously.

"I thought... How many rooms do you need? It doesn't matter to me but..."

Strange town, strange stallion... Blue Blazer wasn't about to leave the princess alone if he could help it "One room, we'll all be sleeping toge-"

"Two rooms," Brush said giving a stern look to the Captain, "stallions in one, mares in the other."

"If you think we're leaving the princess without protection in thi-"

Brush cut him off, "Oh, don't worry, we'll stay with her, but you all will not. She's told you all before that she-"

*Ahem* Twilight cleared her throat, reminding them all that she was still there.

"Since you offered, we'll be more comfortable apart, all apart thank you. So nine rooms if possible."

"Oh! That's perfectly fine! That's why I brought you here! The whole place is yours! There are rooms on this floor where the guard can stay, the second floor can be for you ladies," he nodded his head to Brush and her group, "and you, princess, can stay in the penthouse on the third floor."

Before objections from stallions or mares could be voiced, Twilight accepted the arrangement.

Braeburn produced a key ring and divvied up the rooms.

A key was left over. Bastion snatched it before Blue Blazer noticed.

"You can all get cleaned up and settled in but don't get too comfortable, we're having dinner at the farm later."

The stallions and mares went off to their respective rooms, leaving Twilight and Braeburn in the lobby.

"That should be everything then Twili- I mean princess."

"Thank you Braeburn. It was good to see you again." With a wave Twilight started off towards the stairwell after the mares "I'll be seeing you around Braebur-"

"Princess?" Twilight was mildly alarmed by the suddenly very tense sounding stallion "Um... Well..."

She turned back around, "Yes Braeburn?"

Braeburn stood there rubbing one hoof over the other leg, looking away.

"Nevermind... Uh... Can we talk later, like after dinner tonight?"

"Sure, see you later."

Plots and Plans

The hoofmaden band quietly snuck away from the stairwell where they had been listening.

"What do you think that was about?" Cloud asked as they all piled onto Brush's bed.

"I don't know... He seemed really nervous though..." Breeze observed.

"Maybe he had a request for her majesty?"

"Maybe he's an admirer! Maybe he want's to admit his feelings but couldn't bring up the courage to do it."

The reaction amongst the imaginative mares was immediate.

"Awwwww~ That’s so cute! He's going to tell her his feelings! Maybe that's why he wants to meet her after dinner!"

"That would be so~ Ah! We have to hear it!"

The giggling gaggle swooned as they imagined the fairytale sight.

"How do you think he'll do it? Do you think he'll he just come out and say it?"

"Not to a princess! He'll be a gentlecolt and ask how she feels first!"

"But she might not even realize how he feels! She might shoot him down without even knowing! "

"She is a princess, she can't respond favorably to every old pony who has a princess-crush..."

"That's terrible! We have to help him!"

"I know what we have to do! At dinner we'll..."

Bastion sat outside the hotel glancing left and right. He watched as a figure galloped up from the direction of the town center.

"You said you were going to grab a pie and be right behind us, what the buck happened! It's a miracle the captain didn't notice you were gone! I had to swipe your key before he noticed-"

Dasher threw a hoof over Bastions mouth as he came up.

"This isn't the time! I just heard that the town is plotting something with the buffalo tribe!"

"Yeah, we had a pie war with them. You fought in it remember?"

"No! I mean something serious! They made sure we were gone and started plotting something!"

Bastion looked to his friend incredulously, "'Plotting'? Like what are we talking about here?"

"I don't know! They were talking about this 'one week to do it' and 'the guards are an ‘unexpected problem’ and stuff. After that last part I hightailed it back over here! We've got to tell the captain and pull out of here ASAP!"

Bastion thought it over.

On one hoof, the princess's safety is first priority, but on the other this is the fifth (?) time we've thought that the princess has been in danger and each time so far it's only caused things to get worse.

"No, we'll just keep this between us. You can tell Stonehoof if you want to, but do it later. For now let's just stay calm, it's probably nothing."

"I hear them plotting something, and you don't want to do anything about it?"

"Basically."

"What about protecting the princess?"

"Fine, you say they were meeting in the center of town? Then I'll go check it out, assuming they're still there. Planning "something" isn't a crime; I need evidence before we tell the captain and he sends us on a wild goose chase again. You stay here and get ready for dinner later."

Bastion began the way back to the town.

"Wait! What do I tell the Captain?" Dasher's questions went unanswered as his compatriot waved back to him. "Great... You know I'm not good at this espionage horseapples-"

Bastion came up a back alley and hid behind one of the more outlying hay-bale stacks. He could just make out every few words from the one addressing the crowd.

"-The ritual grounds have been prepared, all the rest is up to you.” Chief Thunderhooves told the crowd.

"Good," Sherif Silverstar stepped up to the mob, "Alright everypony, you know what to do. Have your materials prepared and hidden, we need this to be perfect. Any questions?"

From the distance where he sat, Bastion could not make out any of the crowds questions as the shouted over each-other, but when one was called upon the others quieted enough for him to hear some of it.

"Braeburn won't even..." mumbling covered the questioner's voice, "...burn is the center of this whole plan then why..." someone asked.

"Because Braeburn might overthink it if given too much time. We need him to be ready to commit when the time comes..."

Oh Celestia Dasher was right!

Bastion didn't need to hear any more. There was a town wide conspiracy involving some of the none too friendly buzzwords of dark magic, and to top it off it was apparent that Braeburn was going to play an important role- The princess!

"Where are they?" Twilight wasn't particularly hungry, but she was beginning to worry about being late for dinner.

"Princess, we're sorry for being late. We fell asleep after-"

"It's not a problem girls. It's not you I'm worried about." she said looking to the guards rooms.

"Princess?"

"It's nothing." she said shaking away the thoughts "Anyway are you all hungry? You're in for a treat tonight! Apple family cooking rivals even the royal chefs!"

"Well I'm sure glad you think so!" Braeburn said as he came through the doors to the makeshift royal estate. "Mam Golden and Pap Fritter spent all day making it."

"I can't wait to try some of their cooking. I've heard their praises sung by Applejack back in Ponyville."

"We'll I don't know how well we can compare to..."

As the acquaintances made small talk, the maids huddled to make sure of their plan.

"Ok, so we're all ready?" brush asked.

"Um... What am I supposed to do again?" Breeze asked apologetically.

"You're going to be the one that bumps into me when I'm carrying the... Whatever it is we can find to spill on the princess."

"...and why do we have to spill something on the princes again?"

"How else will we get her wet? The princess is a looks-good-in-the-rain kind of mare, how could Braeburn possibly resist telling her how he feels after seeing her wet-maned?"

"Ok... I guess..."

"Ok! Good! And remember, we have to get them alone together!"

"That's all very troubling..." Captain Blue Blazer thought a moment, "And you say you confirmed this?" he looked from Dasher to Bastion as Stonehoof listened on.

"Yes sir. I believe the whole town is in on it." Bastion affirmed.

"Then we cannot let the princess out of our sight, and under no circumstances let the princess be alone with anypony!"

"Oh, here they come." Twilight noted as the door to Blue Blazer's room opened and the four stallions came out.

"Let's get moving. After hearing about the wonderful meal from Braeburn here I'm starving!"

"After you princess."

All four guards surreptitiously glared at Braeburn, Braeburn for his part just smiled back.

Twilight, ignorant to the exchange, just opened the front door heading to dinner, four mares and five stallions in tow.

A Calm Stroll to Dinner

Despite Twilight's desire for food and fear of being late, her mental schedule had already factored in an extra half hour of complications into their dinner arrival time. So, after failing to encounter any of said complications, she decided to take the scenic route through the orchard/stampeding grounds on the way to Braeburn's home.

"It's beautiful Braeburn," Twilight said as she gazed deep into the endless rows of trees, "and I'm always fascinated to learn about Earth Pony growing techniques, but there's one thing that I can't help but wonder, and it's really been bothering me since last year..."

"Yes Twili- princess?"

"Well... How did you manage to grow thousands upon thousands of full-grown apple-trees in less than a year? I mean, this is a setteler-town, and the Buffalo yearly stampeding was interrupted by the orchards, so how..."

"Oh! That's an good question! Ya see, this whole place used to be desert, so before we started setting up the town we had to-" Braeburn stopped a moment as he appeared to realize something.

"Princess? Wouldn't it be easier for us to talk if we were, uh... next to each other?"

Twilight looked to Braeburn, and then to the four armored stallions who had formed a moving phalanx in between them.

"Yes, I do see how that could make communication a little easier."

"You heard the princess! Back off boys!" Cloud led the girls in pushing the reluctant stallions out of the way.

Now unobstructed, Braeburn closed the distance between himself and the princess. The guards hunched down, waiting for the orange stallion to produce a blade and jump the princess.

A hard glance from Twilight made the stallions stay back.

When no secret weapons were drawn and no immideate attempts to assault the princess were made, the guards slowly returned their focus to the darkening wood around them.

"Like I was saying, uh..." Braeburn blushed slightly as he ran a hoof through his mane ackwardly, "What was I saying again?"

He looked to Twilight for any indication, but she had once again become engaged in tree-watching.

"Well, whatever."

Twilight and Braeburn continued on in companiable silence towards dinner, paying no mind to the stallions and mares that refused to look away from them.

Noting the princess's reaction, Cloud was the first to whisper amongst the girls. "Do you see how he looks at her? That yearning! That unquestionable desire in his eyes!"

"He just looks anxious to me..." Breeze noted quietly.

"Well of course! He is undoubtedly anxious about how he'll ask her out! This is important, the mood must be just right" Cloud replied, "See! He still doesn't have the courage to ask her!"

The girls looked, and could see that every time Twilight looked to him he would smile, but every time she looked away a distant near-frown would overcome his features.

...Something that did not go unnoticed under the guards' scrutiny.

"Then we cannot let the princess out of our sight, and under no circumstances let the princess be alone with anypony" The resolution rang firm in the minds of the stallions as they watched the orange earth pony's glances at the princess.

He's got something planned...

Something big...

and he's nervous as Tartarus about it.

The treck through the orchard had delayed their arivial by almost half an hour, conviently leaving them to arrive at their destination a comfortable three minutes before the scheduled time.

Twilight and Braeburn led the walk up the dirt path to the farmhouse.

Upon first glance, the estate was impressive. Upon further inspection, it did not dissapoint. Just as with Applejack's family home, the Appaloosan Apple estate had all the ammenities of a proper farmer's compound. Nestled in a clearing amongst the hundreds of acres of trees, the compound boasted a good-sized barn, a large outdoor fenced-in area, a pair of grain silos, and the main house.

Their destination, the house, was no disappointment either. As they approached, they could see from the outside that the home was built for hosting visitors.

"I hope we're not imposing too much on your family Braeburn." Twilight said as they made their way onto the porch.

"No, no imposition at all! We're allways happy to have company!"

"No, really Braeburn, I'd like to thank you and your family for hosting us for dinner. Eight extra ponies is no small thing in such short notice. "

Braeburn laughed in return, "Who do you take us for? We're Apples! We're used to hosting more than just y'all! You'd be lucky to finish half of what we've made up for ya!"

Now it was Twilight's turn to laugh, "Oh, is that right? You'd be amazed at how much the girls have had me packing away recently! Spike's allways kept me well fed, but the girls here are some pretty darn good chefs themselves. They've been filling me to bursting every day!"

"Now, not to call ya' a liar, but I highly doubt that such a trim gal like yourself could really eat all that much."

Twilight's blush was just barely visible beneath the purple of her coat, but it was not missed by the attentive hoofmadens.

After a moment of sputtering, Twilight was quick to change the subject, "Well, uh, I just hope your parents weren't overly concerned with making food for a princess. This one time my friend Pinkie's employers hosted Celestia one time, but they spent so much time worried about keeping her happy that... they... uh... Braeburn?"

Braeburn stood frozen with his hoof over the handle of the door. "Uh... Princess?" There was a look of horror on his face that instantly translated into fear for the others " ...I may have forgotten something important..."

Author's Note

Haven't asked a critical thinking question in a while, and this is bothering me now, so here: If the buffalo yearly migration was suddenly interrupted by the Appaloosan orchards, how the heck did the Appaloosans get thousands of full-grown trees growing in there so fast?

Dinner Plans

"What was that Braeburn? I couldn't quite hear you." Twilight asked, concerned.

Braeburn jumped and turned, giving an awkward smile to the concerned princess, "It's nothing!" he turned back to the door and opened it
"Welcome to my home!" he gestured around "Let me go get my parents so they know you are here. They have been dying to meet you. Excuse me." he trotted off in presumably the direction of the kitchen.

Twilight was a little surprised by her host’s sudden abandonment, but did not take offense.

She made to step through the threshold, but an armored hoof blocked her path. After a nod from Blue Blazer, Bastion and Stonehoof went to either side of the door, and made their best attempts to look like they weren't assuming a breeching formation. Before the assault on the compound began, though, Twilight pushed the hoof out of the way.

"Please princess, please allow us to-"

"No, I think I will just go inside."

"Princess, but- this is- ... This is an unsecured compound! It's just standard protocol to have us inspect it for anything that could be hazardous to you!"

Twilight didn't buy it, that was obvious, but Blue Blazer kept up his bearing as best he could.

Unamused, Twilight continued past the stallion and on into the house.

Once she was about midway into the foyer she turned back to the ponies who stood outside.

"Well? Come in!" Twilight commanded.

The hoofmadens needed no more direction and came right in, joining their princess in the center of the room.

The guards followed inside, tentatively scanning the walls and ceiling for any traps or archaic symbology.

"Stop that already!" Twilight commanded, shocking the guards with her tone. "Braeburn is a good personal friend, and he has been more than kind hosting all of us while we are here. I will not let you be so openly hostile inside their own home while they are making us dinner!" She gave a huff, "Since it is apparent you don't respect my wishes, and you have already blatantly ignored my orders on many occasions before, I am regrettably forced to use pressure that you might actually respect!"

Twilight smiled deviously as the previously distracted guards were brought to sudden and absolute attentiveness.

"You brought this upon yourselves! If you don't stop acting like foals-"

The fear in the eyes of the stallions brought Twilight a guilty satisfaction as they awaited the price of further transgressions.

"-you are all going to bed without dinner!"

A pregnant pause filled the room as the threat was processed.

... and the stallions drew back in fear of the terrible threat. How could she be so cruel!

Before the reeling guards could recover, a pair of earth ponies descended upon the princess.

The stallion of the pair grabbed the princess's hoof between his and began to shake it with gusto. "Oh boy princess! Lil' Brae here's been telling us all about you, and let me say it's nice ta finally meet’cha face to face! Sorry we couldn't make it to the celebration, but we were so worn out from making all those pies that we couldn't possibly have participated and made it in time ta make ya a proper dinner. My name's Fritter by the way, and this here" he said releasing one hoof to gesture to the mare beside him, "Is ma' lovely wife Honey-Crisp."

"Now honey," Honeycrisp said, "We'll have plenty of time to talk over dinner. I don't want to make her majesty wait any longer than she has already." The calm mare directed her husband’s hoof to release the whiplashed princess's and turned them to the kitchen, "If you'll follow me!"

They were quickly brought to the home's dining room.

Twilight had been a little concerned with the farmers' ability to handle the logistics of a twelve person dinner, but when she saw the table, her fears evaporated.

Set for all twelve, Twilight assumed it could have just as easily held twenty.

...and fed all of Ponyville.

The thick wooden table was buckling under the weight of the plentiful bounty spread upon it.

"Have a seat dear! -I mean Your Majesty! We'll be eating just as soon as Lil' Brae gets his flank down here!" the last part was yelled out the door to the wayward stallion.

Right after the call, a clattering of hooves could be heard tumbling down the hall until the stallion source came through the doorway.

"Now where ya' been? Ya' shoulda seen our faces when we walk through our house and we find a princess waiting in our foyer! Why didn't ya' come get us!"

"I, uh-" Just as at the front door, the guards could again see the mixture of nervousness and fear had returned to the stallion's face.

"-Well, I guess it don't matter none now anyway. Come over here so we can get this princess fed already!"

Heaving a sigh of relief, Braeburn sat down at the table.

Unseen by the others, Brush gave one last nod to the girls confirming their plans and resolve.

Carefully planned out before them was how they would get their star-crossed lovers together, starting with an elaborate but believable plan to get their princess and host alone together.

"Now what would you like to drink princess?" Honey -Crisp asked, oblivious to the signals of the plotting mares.

"Do you have coffee?" Twilight asked hopefully.

"Sure as sugar do princess! We actually just brewed a pot! I knew I forgot something... Let me just go get that!" Honey-Crisp happily jumped to serve.

With another nod specifically from Brush to Breeze, the operation began.

"Here," Brush said, jumping up to join the old mare, "Let me get it. You just stay here and relax."

"Well that's mighty kind of ya' darling!" she sat back down and Brush went off to the kitchen.

"So how have things been going here in Appaloosa?"

Brush didn't hear the answer to the princess's question as she rushed out of the room.

Only one door separated the kitchen from the dining room, and she found the coffee pot was calmly steaming in the corner.

She gathered up the pot.

Why'd it have to be coffee? I really hope Dasher was telling the truth...

With an anxious glance to the still steaming pot griped in her teeth, Brush pushed open the door and returned to the dining room.

Ok, now...

A quick glance revealed that, just as choreographed, Breeze was right next to the princess. Just close enough that as Brush approached, she could ‘accidentally’ stumble into her and spill the staining liquid upon the princess.

Please be right about this...

Just as planned, she tripped convincingly and the coffee flew.

The room's ponies gasped as they saw the inevitable conclusion of the liquid's journey.

Still steaming, the staining beverage engulfed the princess in its deluge.

...and nothing. She drooped her head due to the unexpected weight of her now-wet mane, but otherwise did not react to the smoldering liquid.

"Oh dear Celestia! Are you alright princess? I'm so sorry! I just tripped and-"

Twilight's raised hoof cut her off, "It's no problem, I'm alright." she said looking back over her wet wings, "Nothing a quick shower can't fix."

"Well, we better get you in one right away then!"

"We'll escort the princess-" Blue Blazer said, rising from his seat, only to be cut off by Cloud.

"Where? Into the shower? I'm sure you would. We'll take it from here."

And with that, the hoofmadens whisked the caffeinated princess out of the room leaving three guards and one very embarrassed guard captain with their hosts at the overstuffed table.

Delayed Dinner

Unable to begin the meal without the guest of honor, Braeburn, his parents, and the guard troupe all just sat around in awkward silence until Honey-Crisp spoke.

"We'll be eatin' right as soon as the princess is back, so while her majesty's gettin' cleaned up, how's about y'all go wash yer hooves up too?" The elder mare recommended before a thought apparently struck her, "Oh, silly ol' me! We don't get many unicorns around here, I suppose ya don't really need ta wash do ya?"

"We should probably wash up anyway." Blue Blaze said, rising from his seat, "Come on boys."

The stallion pack smiled and rose, calmly exiting the door. As soon as they were out in the hall though, the smiles dropped.

"What's the plan sir?" Bastion whispered.

"We're just going to make sure the princess is alright. We'll sneak to her bathroom, knock, and if we hear her voice we'll pull back."

"... And what, dare I ask, do we do if we don't hear her?"

"We- Shh! Somepony's coming!"

The squad dove around a corner fast enough to avoid Braeburn as he hurriedly made his way down the hall.

"Quick!" Blue Blazer commanded, "Follow him!"

"Just a little bit more princess. I can't get this last spot out." Brush said as she re-lathered the Princess's already pristine mane.

"Are we almost done? I just wanted to rinse the coffee off..."

"Now just let your mane soak for a few more minutes and you'll be set."

"I'd much rather not stall dinner any more. Besides, I'm sure that my mane is just fine right now. It's not like it really needs to be perfect or anything."

"Now princess, on that I simply must disagree! One of your station must always exude the proper image expected of royalty!"

"I really don't think that the Apple family would be offended if I came to dinner without a perfectly styled mane."

"That's the kind of thing that you precisely can't do! A princess cannot compromise her standards for anything! You are a pillar of faith for our entire nation! You must be held to a standard no less than that of perfection, and any deviation therefrom disrupts the very faith of our nation!"

"Well..."

"Just imagine how you'd feel if Clestia had bed-mane in court!"

Twilight sat in awe of the image, "I hadn't thought about it like that..."

Not able to argue, Twilight remained in the tub as the mares left her to soak.

"Quick thinking Brush!" Cloud whispered as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Not to burst your bubble, but what are we going to do now?" Bristle asked quietly, "Your little speech kept her in, but now she defiantly won't come out until she's good, ready, and dry! Our wonderful wet-mane plan will be ruined!"

"Oh don't worry, everything is going even better than expected! Now we just need to get our little- And there's just the pony I wanted to see!"

"You ladies alright up here?" the perpetually anxious farmer asked.

"We were actually just looking for you! The princess needs some towels, and we couldn't find any!"

Taking her cue, the others followed.

"She could really use them soon..." Breeze said as she nudged him forward slightly.

"Oh, here, let me get them for you." he said, trying to turn them around towards an adjacent closet but was stopped by a shove forward from Brush.

"No time to stop! Please get her some towels!" she said as she continued to push.

"Uh, sure- but they're-" the struggling stallion tried to explain.

"Please! She needs them NOW!" Cloud said as she gave a final hard push to the unsuspecting stallion, sending him right through a doorway.

"Braeburn!?!" a familiar feminine voice shrieked.

"What are you doing!" Blue Blazer all but yelled as he saw the mares shoving the potentially dangerous stallion into the room where presumably the princess was bathing.

They slammed the door behind him, and a feminine shriek from within only served to confirm the stallion's suspicion.

Without second thought, Blue Blazer and his stallions charged for the door.

"No don't!" he heard Brush shout as she and the other mares blocked their path.

Now, even though they were well trained unicorn guards, they were still unicorn guards. Just as pegasi supply air cover and earth ponies are great in close-combat, unicorns fill the role of ranged fighting and defensive shielding. They prove a great force multiplier in a mixed unit, when each tribe covers the weaknesses of the others, but left alone, pure unicorn units have one major weakness. One that Blue Blazer should have taken into account before trying to push past the objecting mares.

...unicorns are naturally weak...

...and earth ponies are naturally strong.

Before he could even recognize what happened, he was bouncing right off of the Earth-pony wall, and in the next instant, he was being held to the ground.

"What!"

"Just relax! We've got this under control!" Brush commanded from on top of him.

He lay in shock for a moment before his surprised expression hardened as realization washed over him. "You're in on it aren’t you! Ever since we got here you've all been setting this up, haven’t you! Don't think that I didn't see though you're 'performance' downstairs!"

"Go!" he yelled to the others, but when he heard no tell-tale hoofbeats, he looked around to see that just as himself, the others had followed and been subdued by the mares.

"Do you even realize what you're doing!" he shouted.

"Oh yes we do!"

"You're-"

"We're-"

"-trying to assassinate-"

"-trying to hook-up-"

"-the princess!" they finished in unison.

"Wait, what did you think we were doing?" asked Brush as she tried to decide if she should be amused by the misunderstanding, angry that he would even think they'd betray the princess, or be afraid of the guard captain's increasingly apparent ignorance.

"...actually, don't answer that. How about I just show you."

Still holding him hostage, she allowed him to put an ear to the door, every other occupant of the hall followed.

Despite the door, the sounds from within the room were quite distinct. More so, it appeared that the conversation was reaching its crescendo just as they arrived.

"...thank you for sharing that, really." the princess's words were tender, "Now this had something to do with what you wanted to ask before?" The princess's voice inquired.

A moment passed before any sounds escaped the room before a nervous Braeburn continued, "With all that in mind, I know we don't know each other that well, but..." Braeburn quickly squeaked before going silent again.

"Yes Braeburn? But what? Do you need something?"

The silence stood for a moment before he spoke again; trepidation, fear, and yet pride in his voice. "Will you marry me?"

A pause.

The Hoofmadens and guards looked to each other, shock and surprise all around. The shock felt by the hoofmadens at the boldness of his request was simply blown out of the water though by the implications of the reply.

"Of course! Of course I'll marry you!"

Author's Note

I hate how this chapter came out... I'll probably redo it later...

Anyway, if you honestly want to see where this is going stop reading this A/N now.

... on the other hand, if your heart is full of rage for the shipping, don't worry.

*Spoilers below* -Seriously, if you read it it will ruin the next few chapters-

I can't take the derp-tastic auto-spam fallout anymore. People, please, read into the story a little, I'm not shipping Twilight with Braeburn. That would be suicide. As many of you have guessed it's a misunderstanding again. (I thought that would be obvious at this point but...)

Confusion I

"Sir! Can he... Can he do that?" Dasher blurted after he had processed the bomb Braeburn had just dropped.

His question apparently came too soon, as when he looked to his leader for a response, he found a still frozen Blue Blazer crushed beneath an equally stunned Brush.

"Whoa..." Cloud stuttered, "He's so bold"

"Too bold!" Blue Blazer hissed as he regained perception of the world, "This reeks of foul play! This is simply absurd! It has to be a trap of some kind! We're not letting this-"

He was cut off by more sounds from inside, "Can you sneak out and meet me on the hill with Bloomberg at around midnight tonight? Don't let anypony see you. We'll talk then. For now, we need to get back or else every pony might get suspicious."

Upon hearing that their eavesdropping was about to be discovered, the hall’s mare and stallion occupants bolted to avoid being compromised.

"That was fantastic Mrs. Apple! Thank you for dinner!" Twilight cooed after finishing her (third) slice of genuine Apple pie.

"Warms my heart to know there's such a dear of a princess up there in Canterlot! I'm just honored ya'll would grace us with your presence." the elder mare replied sincerely.

"Well I don't know about "graced" but thank you for having us. Sadly though, it's about time we head back to our hotel. Thank you again for the meal!" A chipper Twilight replied, looking out to the high-risen moon out the window.

"Don't be a stranger now! We'd love to have ya' again!"

"I'm sure we'd all love to come back, right?" she looked to the stallions and mares who followed her, attempting to get one kind word out of them about the food, none of them spoke up, just as they hadn't about anything the whole meal.

"...I'm sure they would!" Twilight said with an awkward chuckle, "Anyway, have a nice night!" Twilight said waving as she embarked for the hotel.

The troupe wandered off; the Apple family seeing them off from their porch. Once they were out of the clearing and comfortably behind the tree line, the group came to an abrupt halt behind their mistress.

"What in the name of Tartarus has come over all of you! All of you were were just awful in there!"

"Princess, we can't stand by and watch you do this!" Cloud all but shouted.

"What do you mean?" Twilight said, genuinely taken aback.

"We mean we heard your conversation with Braeburn in the bathroom! We heard everything, and we have to say, you're making a mistake!"

"How so?" Twilight asked, with concern tinging her voice.

"I don't know how to tell you this..."

"What! Tell me! Is something wrong?"

"Well..." she took a deep breath before closing her eyes and resigning to the fact it had to be said, “It’s obvious that he only asked you to marry him because you're a princess!"

The princess in question just stared at her for a minute, as if waiting for her to get to the punch line of her joke. When no punch line came, she merely snorted out a laugh, "Hah! Well of course! He wouldn't have asked me if I wasn't! It's not like anypony in their right mind would ever have asked me to marry them before I was made a princess."

That statement immediately sobered the previously nervous group.

When no response came, Twilight turned away and began walking again.

"Princess..." Breeze eagerly called after her, but either the charge didn't notice or didn't care, because she continued onward unheedingly.

When the pack arrived at the hotel, the mares went straight for their room as the stallions and the princess made their way to their respective floors.

No sooner did the door closed behind the mares then did Cloud release what she had been stewing over the whole way back, "So that's it! She doesn't think of herself as marryable other than because of her rank! She has no self-esteem! That's the- Is she really that- Is she really only going through with this because she's so desperate!?!" Cloud yelled, not even trying to hide how upset this was making her, "Why!?! She's an international hero! Doesn't she realize every pony loves her!"

"I mean, I should know! I was one of the ponies drafted to help sort through her fan-mail after the Crystal Empire got wind of how she saved the Empress during her wedding day! We had to go through thousands of letters!"

"Wait, she gets fanmail?" Bristle asked innocently, trying boldly to quietly bring Cloud back to them.

"Psssh!" Cloud scoffed, "Too much of it! She's practically a children's book hero outside Equestria. Actually, she is in the Crystal Empire. Nightmare Moon, Discord, the Changelings, Sombra; there's a whole ongoing book series published about her."

"Why have I never heard of any of this?" Brush asked, obviously to this point unaware that her charge was already so renowned outside Equestria.

"It's because princess Celestia wanted her student to have a 'normal life'." Cloud laughed derisively, "Carefully censoring anything that would bring Twilight's accomplishments to light. Here in Equestria you won't hear about anything she's done, but outside she's practically a legend."

"So that's why she must feel so under loved..." Breeze concluded solemnly, "She did so much, and yet nopony knows..."

"Well, that may have something to do with it, but honestly, it's probably more the fact she didn't have a proper school experience, instead having one-on-one lessons with the princess that never exposed her to any situations where she could make serious friends, her extreme introversion, which she has no coping skills for, and the fact that, growing up, she was so close to Celestia that everyone was afraid to get too close."

The other mares just stared at their unusually insighted companion. "What?" Bristle asked "I used to get an ear full from old Madam Teapot about how the princess's student was being raised... She was less than approving of the princess’s filly rearing. ...Only in private of course."

"Ok... Well... This has all been very enlightening, but the problem at hoof is more immediately important. It's apparent that the princess has some major self-esteem issues we need to address ...and fast." none made to contest as Brush continued, "...and I think I know just how to do it..."

Stakeout

Meanwhile, one floor down, four stallions were quietly hiding behind a sofa in the dark parlor.

"Why are we doing this?" Dasher asked before yawning.

"You heard them!" Blue Blazer whispered harshly, "They're meeting secretly, alone in the middle of the night at a cryptic location. Nothing good ever happens at secret meetings in cryptic locations in the middle of the night. Nothing."

"Ok, but why are we here? Behind a couch, hiding in the dark? I mean, I get that we're waiting for the princess, but why hide? She already knows that we know about her-" Dasher was quickly silenced by the sudden placement of Blue Blazer's hoof over his mouth.

"Shush! She's coming down!" he said tending up as the others stared at their leader.

As he said, soon after he spoke, the princess of magic had reached the bottom of the stairs and was quickly making her way out the front doors.

"Follow her!" Blue Blazer whispered.

The three other stallions shared a glance, but complied. Soon there were four unicorn stallions shadowing one alicorn princess through the night.

"She's stopped!" Blue Blazer called to his stallions as they came up to the final row of trees before the pony-made forest ended encircling a hill bearing only a single mysterious tree.

"We can see that sir" Bastion replied, "Now what does that mean for us?" he asked bluntly.

Blue Blazer lowered his binoculars and looked to his stallions "We wait until Braeburn shows up." the name was spat with venom, but the others just ignored it.

Once the captain had returned to his surveillance, Bastion quietly pulled a pack of cards out of his armor, showing it to Dasher and Stonehoof.

After nods from both, Bastion approached the captain, "Sir! Dasher, Stonehoof, and I are going to go scope out better angles."

"Good plan! I knew you'd understand how important this is! Ah! There's that creation now..." Blue Blazer said, bringing up the Binoculars to his face once again.

When the others left, Blue Blazer's focus on the stallion only increased

"...what are you planning?"

After almost an hour of on and off watching, (and quite a few rounds of three-way go fish) nothing had happened on the hill, and the three tired stallions made their way back to their captain.

"Sir, it's obvious they're just talking, can we go back to the hotel now? She can handle herself..." Dasher pleaded.

"No, as soon as we go, he's going to make his move! She won't know what hit her! We've got to be ready to save her!"

"Sir, I'm all for protecting her, really, but there is nothing here to protect her from. Mr. Braeburn has so far proven to be a perfectly fine gentleman, and I doubt he's going to do anything now."

Not bothering to look away from the pair, Blue Blazer responded “OH, he's going to do something we just have to keep watching! That's why we always have to keep watching!"

The others were becoming all to aware of the look in their commander's eyes.

"Sir, then how's about this, we go up and sit with them? Maybe she'd feel more-"

"No! We can't give away our positions! If he knows that we know about him, he won't do what we need him to do to save her!"

"That's it! I'm out of here!" Dasher said throwing his hooves into the air, "You've gone off the deep end! I knew this would happen! The captain's worried himself insane!" and with that, he stood up to leave, turned, and made good on his word.

Bastion and Stonehoof watched their comrade go, looked to their commander, saw all they needed, and were off too.

"I'll show those deserters what for! I'll save the princess myself!" he readjusted his binoculars to focus even closer in on the pair. "If only I had a way to hear what they were saying from so far away!" the lone captain grumbled a moment before looking up and realizing he could.

It took five additional minutes for him to remember the proper spell, and fifteen more to cast it properly, but after almost an hour and a half of staring at the conversation and having no idea what they were saying, now he could listen in on them!

...and still have no idea what they were saying.

"...Thanks for this Braeburn. It's quite an honor to have you as my first! I feel like I owe you for making the first one so special..." he could hear the princess say.

"If anypony should be honored it should be me!" Braeburn replied, "After tomorrow, I'll be one of only a handful of ponies to have had a princess do this for them!"

Twilight broke eye contact with her companion and slouched, voice wavering,”I just hope I don't mess up... I've never done this before and I don't want to ruin it for-"

"Calm down Twilight," Braeburn said uncharacteristically firmly, "I know you'll do just fine. You'll be ready tomorrow right?"

A firm nod from Twilight, and a reassuring nod from Braeburn finished the conversation, and the princess stood up to leave.

"One more thing princess!" Braeburn said, scrambling to his feet. "Please pretend like you know nothing about it, if anypony from town asks you. I want it to be a surprise."

"Of course Braeburn. See you tomorrow, it's going to be a big day!" With one final trade of farewells, the pair began to their respective beds for the night.

One stallion, though was only beginning his night...

Intervention

Twilight woke up bright and early, she knew she had to if she was going to be ready for the big day she had ahead of her. Without Spike's constant aid (and dragon-brewed coffee) in the morning, getting ready was an arduous task, but luckily there were four eager mares just waiting to help.

...And twilight knew she was going to need their help if today was going to go off without incident.

Twilight was up in a flash, accomplishing her morning stretches, brushing her teeth, and combing her hair in record time. She was now intimately aware of the need for proper preening, but was not going to risk anything after reading about how bad a miss-pulled feather could upset proper flight aerodynamics.

Set and ready for the day to begin, she made her way downstairs for breakfast.

"Ah, Princess, good morning! Would you mind please having a seat?” Brush called as she made the last step down to the main level.

"Good morning ...girls?" her greeting was adapted as she noticed how the lobby was arranged. Four chairs had been placed faced a single sofa, the mares each occupying a seat and the couch being left open. A table had been dragged into place in the middle of the arrangement, and upon it sat an exotic assortment of breakfast items.

"The fridge was well stocked I see." Twilight chuckled as she went over to sit down.

The others did not share in her jovial mood.

"Have a seat princess." Brush half demanded half begged.

Complying, Twilight sat and eyed the assortment of foods on the table.

"We need to talk princess. You can dig in, but there are some things we need to share with you."

A nod was returned by Twilight as she began to partake from the buffet in front of her.

The mares shared an anxious look, but Brush was first to speak.

"Princess, Twilight, we just want you to know that what you've done for Equestria is really appreciated. We understand how you must feel about the fact nopony knows what you've done for them, but you really are appreciated! Those of us who are close enough to the castle to know of what you've done, all think of you as a hero! It's not every day somepony comes along that can do so much!"

"Yeah! With how grand your accomplishments have been so far, you've apparently become a hero outside Equestria too! So don't feel like nopony knows what you've done."

"...uh, princess are you alright?"

An unreadable expression sat plastered to the purple princess's face. "So what you're telling me is that there are ponies who idolize me for what I've done?"

"Yes! Cloud says that there's even a whole book series based on your exploits being sold in the Crystal Empire!"

"Well then..."

"Uh... Princess? Why does it look like you think this is not good news?"

"Because it isn't! I worked hard to convince Celestia to make sure no pony herd about me! Until this-" she flared her wings "-all started, I wanted to live a normal life in Ponyville with my friends!"

"But you're a princess now! It's not like you can stay just some small-town-mare forever! Why not let them know how much you've done for Equestria?"

"Because I want them to judge me based on what I will do to promote peace and harmony, not on the exploits of my adventures!"

"-But you've beaten the very forces that sought to disrupt the harmony of the world! You defeated the very spirit of chaos! Everypony would hold you in the highest regard if they knew!"

"Exactly! That’s precisely what I don't want! I don't want to be revered as a warrior princess! If they knew what I did before ascending, that's exactly what they'd call me! Celestia and Luna defeated Discord, and instantly they were the "warrior princess sisters!" All they did was seal Discord in stone and the pony tribes gave his throne to them out of fear!"

...Admittedly that was probably one of the greatest decisions in pony history, but I digress...

"Well once the population see how kind and benevolent a leader you are in person-"

"You mean like they did with Celestia and Luna? It took over five hundred years for the population to stop openly referring to them as "The Warrior Sisters" and "The Conquerors of Chaos!" It took over half a century of constant refusal before the population understood that they didn't want their yearly offerings of virgins! It was absurd!" Twilight huffed and puffed for a moment, but when she had her breathing under control again she finished, "That is what I'm trying to avoid."

"Oh... We thought you were upset because of how few people know what you've done."

"What gave you that idea? What made you think I was upset at all?"

"Well yesterday... Yesterday, with how you spoke about yourself... When we confronted you about your choice to marry Braeburn... It seemed like you thought of yourself as unworthy before you became a princess... Like without the title, you wouldn't be worthy of marrying anypony..."

"And I wouldn't. Only judges, mayors, governors, priests of an established faith, naval captains aboard their own ships, and of course princesses have the right to oversee and establish a legal union between a couple."

"Wait, what?" one of the dumbfounded aids asked as her companions continued to stare.

"I said, only certain ponies have the right to oversee and establish a legal union between to ponies, and before I was a princess, I was none of the others."

"Oh..."

"Was that not what you expected?"

"Um, No... So, uh... So you're not getting married?"

"No? What made you think that I was! I'm just filling the position that the Las-Pegasus judge left when he skipped town leaving the townsponies' plans for today ruined. That's why I was asked to perform the ceremony today."

"Oh... Well, Whew! That takes a load off..."

...

"Wait, did you say Today?"

Unhinged

"How could this have happened?" Twilight asked solemnly. The hoofmadens tried to comfort their bruised and bloodied princess as she tried to sit up.

"Ready? Three... Two... One...Now!" Cloud fell back, dragging with her the buffalo spear that had not moments before been embedded within her princess. Twilight gave no reaction other than a nod of thanks for its removal.

The armed group of war-painted buffalo continued to pound on the barrier of the lone stallion standing between them and the princess.

"Surrender now or this will not end well for you!" Chief Thunderhooves warned threateningly as he closed in alongside his warriors, "There's no way out of here for you now!"

~~~Just a bit earlier~~~

When the mares reached the designated area they were struck by the sight of no less than fifty buffalo, armed with spears and in the same war paint they had adorned during the spectacle when they had arrived in town.

The mares looked to their princess for a cue to flee from the war party, but from her reaction to the sight, she was either suddenly rendered blind or this is what she had expected for she simply smiled and looked through the crowd, as if expecting somepony.

"Princess? What's-"

"AH! Princess you are early!" Chief Thunderhooves roared over the din of the gathered buffalo as he made his way through with some others joining him as he went.

"Only a few minutes..." she pouted, noting the position of the sun in the sky, "So tell me, is everything in order?" Twilight asked eagerly as the mares around her backed away from the approaching hoard.

"Indeed your majesty!" the great buffalo happily chirped, "We can begin almost immediately!"

"What's going on here Princess?" Cloud whispered as best she could over the terror clear in her voice.

"They're preparing for the ritual." she said matter-of-factly.

"Actually..." she looked around animatedly before turning back to Thunderhooves,"...where precisely is the ritual taking place?"

"Right here!" Thunderhooves proudly belted, pointing straight to the ground beneath them.

Twilight looked to the open field around them before nodded lightly in recognition.

"Princess! Please tell us what's going-" before Cloud could finish her plea a brown blur launched itself from the buffalo ranks and impacted the princess.

On an overlooking hillside a lone figure leapt into action.

"Princess!" The maidens shrieked as she was leapt upon by the blur.

Shock and fear flashed across their faces until they realized the blur had been welcomed into an embrace by the princess.

"Twilight! I'm so glad you could make it!"

"Oh Little Strongheart, I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

The spindly buffalo smiled as she broke the hug.

"So how does this work now?" Twilight asked in her patented down-to-business voice.

"Well, it's quite simple really, did Braeburn tell you about the-"

"I'm sorry Miss- is it Strongheart?- but we really need to talk to the princess right now." Brush said, almost sounding sincerely apologetic before grabbing Twilight and making a huddle with the other mares.

"Princess, What's going on? I thought we were on our way to a wedding!" Brush asked, trying to stay quiet enough to remain unheard by the buffalo just outside the huddle.

"We were, and we are." Twilight said chuckling quietly before pulling out of the huddle and trotting beside Little Strongheart. "Ladies, may I introduce Little Strongheart, daughter of Chief Thunderhooves and fiancé to Braeburn Apple."

Apparently thinking the conversation to be over, Twilight turned and opened her mouth to continue her conversation with Little Strongheart. Her words caught in her throat though, as she was unexpectedly and unceremoniously dragged back into the maid's huddle.

"That explains why we're here but not why they're carrying weapons!"

"Well I didn't really anticipate that either, but I would assume they're only for the ceremony."

"Ceremony?"

"Yes, the ceremony we are about to be a part of is one where-"

"RAAAAAARRRRGH!"

The interrupting war cry was accompanied by an eruption amongst the ranks of buffalo.

For a moment it seemed as if a train had collided with the buffalo heard, but as they continued to be tossed aside the even more troubling cause was revealed.

"Foul beasts! I knew you were trouble as soon as we stepped off the train!" Blue Blazer shouted as he continued to plow through the crowd, telekinetically cutting through and tossing buffalo like a ship's hull through water.

"Captain! What are you-"

He jumped around, leveling his horn threateningly towards the buffalo heard.

"Do not fear princess! I discovered their insidious plot and have come to save you from these beasts!"

Strongheart indignantly marched right up to the posturing stallion, "Now see here you crazy-" Strongheart reached to tap the stallion's breastplate, but before contact was made, his horn lit and she was blasted back right into her father.

As the chief reached to cradle the limp wide-eyed form of his daughter, the reaction from the heard was immediate.

Shrieks and enraged hollering filled the air, vastly overwhelming the cries of a certain alicorn about "not worrying" and "just a stun spell".

Her pleading went un-noticed though as a good portion of the buffalo heard started charging at the offending stallion.

In response he quickly threw up a barrier to hold off the stampede. "Don't worry princess! I'll protect you!" he shouted as the buffalo began to impact head-long into the barrier, each hit noticeably straining it but without success.

Risking a glance back, he found Twilight to be leveling her horn at him.

"Blue Blazer! Lower this barrier right now so I can check on my friend, or so help me you'll find out why even Discord takes heed of my warnings!"

The look of shock on his face convinced her to ‘lower’ her horn. She looked him in the eyes, expecting him to finally calm down, only to be met with the same blast that had not moments ago taken down Little Strongheart.

"WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT!" shouted Soft, glaring daggers at the armor-clad stallion as she caught the limp princess.

"Our naïve princess doesn't understand just how much danger she is in! I can't have her distracting me and compromising my duties! I'll defend the princess at any cost! Such is my sacred duty!"

The mares just stared in slack-jawed awe.

Apparently misinterpreting their reactions, Blue Blazer chuckled "Now do not fear! There is nothing that they can do to breach my barrier!"

His words of confidence imparted, Blue Blazer turned back to find that the barrier had already developed fractures that the buffalo were utilizing their spears to expand, several spears already thrust through the shell.

"Oh no you don't!"

Grabbing the spears with his telekinesis, he jerked them from the hooves of the attackers, dragging them, shaft and all, inside the barrier.

"Did you really think that would work?" he shouted mockingly, hap-hazard tossing the collected spears behind himself. "You'll have to do better than that to get past me!"

Now it was the Buffalo's turn to stare in their own bout of slack-jawed amazement as they watched the tossed spears tumble through the air, most only narrowly being dodged by the maddens, but one arcing right into the immobile princess.

Without any way to defend herself, the spear gracefully traveled right through her side, pinning her to the ground.

"You are so amazed by my skill you can't even continue!" Blue Blazer mocked, "Ha! You should give up now! There is nothing that can harm the princess while I'm protecting her!"

The silent crowed just continued to stare until Chief Thunderhooves pushed his way through the pack.

"Surrender now or this will not end well for you!" Chief Thunderhooves warned threateningly as he closed in alongside his warriors, "There's no way out of here for you now!"

"You'll never overcome the resolve I have to protect the princess!"

It was not a second after the words were spoken that Blue Blazer's world went black.

*Yawn*

"Wake up Stony! We're on vacation!" Dasher laughed, draping a hoof over his just awakened friend.

"No we're not." Bastion snapped, "We're going to check up on the princess."

Dasher gave Bastion a gauging glance, deciding to chalk up his harshness to agitation.

"Yeah, speaking of that, why are we doing this? Didn't she tell us not to?" he asked undeterred. "Why the sudden change of heart? I thought we were actually going to leave her alone today."

"Yeah, I know, I know, she told us not to, but I've just got this feeling.... It might be nothing but... Anyway, if she asks, we're just checking up on her. We've left her alone for a few hours as she requested, but I just want to be sure she's safe. With how her letter was written, I'm sure she'll understand."

"Yeah, she'll probably understand, but do you really think that we need to..." his words died off as he reached the edge of the bluff.

"Is that the captain? What's he doing?" Dasher asked as a figure approached the rear of a gathering of buffalo.

Before Bastion or Stonehoof could make an attempt to guess at their Captain's actions, the figure began to plow through the group with his magic.

"What the flying-"

"Come on!"

The three stallions were immediately in a gallop down into the valley.

No longer possessing the eagle-eye view the bluff had provided, the stallions relied on sound to indicate how the conflict on the obstructed side of the buffalo was going.

The guard group's intentions were clear, at least until the buffalo group released a cry, and a good portion of the heard rushed ahead toward a newly constructed barrier, leaving the old, young, and a certain chief and his daughter behind.

The sparseness of the remaining heard no longer required the clearing of a path, so rather than fight, the stallions began to duck and weave though the pack. At least until they realized that none of the buffalo were lifting so much as a hoof to stop them. They continued onward until one particular buffalo caught their eye.

"Call off your attack!" Dasher yelled as the trio leveled their horns at Chief Thunderhooves.

"You protect the princess, correct?" Chief Thunderhooves asked in a whisper that betrayed much in the way of emotion.

The concern in his voice and his inflection on the princess's title stopped the stallions. It was almost as if he's worried about her.

"Yes, why?" their motion was not stopped but surprise and concern slowed their pace. Upon inspection the headdressesed bovine was cradling another in his hooves

"I fear for her safety. For whatever reason, it appears that one of you stallions in the armor of the guard intruded upon our meeting with the Princess, assaulted my daughter and holed himself up inside that barrier. My buffalo are trying to break the barrier, but he has-"

"Stop right there! The Captain would never turn against the princess! His loyalty is nigh-legendary!"

"It is not his loyalty that I question, it is his sanity."

The abrupt change on the faces of the stallions from anger to fear was as abrupt as it was telling.

Before further details of the situation could be exchanged, a cry was heard.

"Chief!" the stallions and buffalo turned to find a young bull running up, "We have almost breached the barrier!"

"Good," he turned to the stallions, "We will subdue the stallion and allow you to-"

"He also impaled her with a spear he took from us!"

The newly informed group reacted to the words only just harsher than those who had seen the sight themselves.

Bastion was first to recover and speak, he turned to Thunderhooves, "Keep as many hooves as possible pounding on the barrier. We'll sneak around back and-" he looked to Stonehoof, "You served as one of the rail-passage keepers during the Changeling crisis correct? Do you think you can quietly open a passage through the captain's barrier?" a nod, "Then we'll go in through the back, in his blind spot while his magical perception is focused on the front. We'll sneak in and-"

"What if he just turns around?" Dasher interjected suddenly.

Bastion stared at him blankly for a second before turning to Thunderhooves, "Can you keep him distracted long enough for us to breach the barrier and... subdue him?"

"How could this have happened?" Twilight asked solemnly. The hoofmadens tried to comfort their bruised and bloodied princess as she tried to sit up.

Having already stealthily made their way through a barrier-portal Stonehoof had opened, the stallions quietly checked on the princess before advancing toward the turned back of their captain.

While they were still checking on the princess and as the heard continued to pound on the barrier as Chief Thuderhooves made his grandiose appearance.

Appearing all the-evil villain that Blue Blazer must have thought him to be, he began his cliché yet wonderfully effective diversion.

"Surrender now or this will not end well for you!" he warned, practically twirling his mustache with the dramatically overblown confidence that dripped from his voice. He closed in alongside his warriors, only adding to the effect "There's no way out of here for you now!"

"You'll never overcome the resolve I have to protect the princess!"

Fully conscious and aware, even while the spear was still in her side, the stun spell was the only real issue with the downed princess, so the stealth team had quickly continued on to the 'subduing' of Blue Blazer.

A swift hoof to the back of the head delivered by a certain Stonehoof was more than sufficient for the job.

Appaloosa's only hospital wasn't really a hospital at all, it was more of just a doctor’s office. That is to say, it was actually just the well-stocked house where the town's only doctor practiced medicine. Well... he technically wasn't a doctor, anymore at least. Retirement had been well deserved after thirty years as a doctor of biological and magical practice in Manehattan. He had decided that moving away from the hustle and bustle of the big city would be a wise change and find him a lot more peace for a stallion if his increasing age.

In fact, other than the now annual pie wars, he was finding the town to be living up to its calming, rustic appeal.

That's precisely why he was so surprised when he had answered the banging at his front door...

"Other than the heart attack you all nearly gave me when you all showed up and the bump on the one guard's head, it looks like you all get clean bills of health!" Dr. Cross announced as he re-entered his living room, "Is there anything else you need from me?" he asked, looking around the room for any responses.

"No, we should be out of your mane soon enough. I can't thank you enough for helping us all on such short notice." Twilight spoke for the group. She turned to Little Strongheart, who despite waking up shortly after Blue Blazer's incapacitation had been reluctantly carried by her father to the elder stallion’s home. "Are you sure you're feeling alright? The royal guard's stun spell is designed to have no side effects after awakening but..."

"I'm fine Twilight, really." the lying buffalo said, "I'm just upset we couldn't do the ceremony like we wanted..."

"Don't worry, we'll do it tomorrow. To be honest, from my prior experience with weddings this one is going pretty well so far!" Twilight awkwardly chuckled, as smiles were shared at the expense of the three guards who cringed at the memory. "Just tell your Everypony we'll do it tomorrow."

"Alright! Same plan tomorrow then!" She said raising to her hooves.

"Of course." Twilight said with a nod.

"It seems you're all right to move now, but just to be sure I'll walk you out." Dr. Cross said as he helped her up, siding up to her to allow her to put some of her weight onto him. With his aid, she made their way out the home and into the arms of her father, who despite trying, was unable to fit his size through the pony-sized door of the home.

Through the same window he had been using to look in, the ponies looked out to see the three conversing.

"Princess..."

"I know." the mood abruptly shifted as Twilight turned to the three remaining occupants of the room, "Despite his apparent intentions, what the Captain did today is absolutely inexcusable. Despite the understanding Chief Thunderhooves and Little Strongheart showed, this is not a matter that can just be brushed under the rug. Blueblazer obviously fails to realize the context of his duty and has clearly and repeatedly shown that he does not respect me or my authority. His heart is probably in the right place, but his suspicion is clearly disrupting his judgment. This is why I’m hereby temporarily removing him from duty, and tasking you three with escorting him back to Canterlot for professional help."

"Yes your majesty." the stallions rose, saluted, and turned to retrieve their unconscious former captain from the bedroom.

Twilight took one last look out at the bride-to-be and her father before teleporting back to the hotel where the maidens were already waiting. She quickly confirmed her safe arrival and the proximity of her bed before wandering over and promptly passing out.

It had been a long day.

Author's Note

Six.

That's how many complete re-writes this chapter has gotten and I still don't like it. It does what I want it to do; it (mostly) resolves this arc and neatly sets up something I have planned for later, but I still don't like it. It just seems so... different from the rest of the story. I guess it's because this resolves the arc with drama rather than humor.

Don't worry, this actually will lead to humor in the future.

As always: Feedback = Good

Also, what are your feelings about weddings?

Aftermath

"Wait!"

The stallions turned to find their counterpart mares running up to the train platform.

"Wait!" Soft huffed as she and the other out-of breath mares came up the ramp where three armored stallions and their still magically-induced sleeping escort were just about to enter their train.

The stallions jumped to attention, "What's wrong? Where's the princess!" Dasher shouted.

The mares shook their heads lightly as they fought for breath. Seeing that they were in a hurry but not alarmed, Dasher eased slightly before turning to Stonehoof.

"Go ahead and load the captain into our cabin, we'll be right in." Stonehoof nodded and entered the train, levitating Blue Blazer's unconscious form in behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Bastion asked, as he came forward to inspect the group "Shouldn't you be with the princess preparing for the wedding?"

Soft had to catch her breath, before responding. "We were, but the princess said that after yesterday it would probably be best to see the happy couple off to their honeymoon and just move on to her next stop."

"Ok, but why are you here?"

"The princess's next stop is Fort Pileus and since we were already so close she said we should just go with you back to Canterlot and that she'll just fly over and pick us all up after her stop. She said it actually works out rather well since-"

"Wait?" Dasher interrupted "The princess will be going on alone to her next appearance? We can't allow that!"

"Didn't you hear me? Her next stop is Fort Pileus. Unless we happen to grow some wings, Fort Pileus is not exactly a place that we can follow. That's why she sent us ahead, she'll make her appearance there and then and pick us up in Canterlot right after she's done with her 'inspection'."

"I guess that works..." Bastion said, his unease clear in his voice, "I just wish she would have told us sooner. I don't particularly like the idea of her being alone."

Dasher gave Bastion a funny look, “It's Fort Pileus! She'll be fine!"

"I hope you're right... It just seems like there was something-"

"TWEEEEEEEE" The station whistle interrupted.

"Oh! That's last call!" Bastion said as he prompted the bunch to onto the train.

As Twilight trotted out of town she almost regretted deciding to leave Appaloosa so soon. It had been a crazy three days, but it had been a wonderful three days despite the misunderstandings and the incident with Blue Blazer.

There was something calming though about knowing that despite everything that had happened the tough ponies and buffalo of the town were carrying on the same as if it had only rained or something else just as inconsequential had delayed them rather than potential regicide and war. It reminded her closely of Ponyville: one day an ursa attacks, and the next everyponys back to going about their business without qualm. Now that she thought about it though, she supposed that wasn't the only similarity that Appaloosa had to her favorite home town.

The small town had a homey feel to it that was just like Ponyville in a way, and how it just drew you in with its charming people and somewhat archaic lifestyle was an unmistakably shared trait. It was a town where everyone knew everyone and truly wanted to support them. Even during the wedding there was a certain informality that just made the event a good time. Nods and winks from the audience tried to make the couple chuckle at inopportune times, and there had been some jeering from the audience when Braeburn had to lean up to reach his increasingly lanky spouse for the kiss. Even the traditional buffalo ceremony was littered with jokes, and even more jeering at the concessions of tradition that had to be made for Braeburn's comparative stature. The highlight had been Braeburn's traditional challenging of the Bride's father for her hoof. Chief Thunderhoof took a dive that made the no attempts to look real, and ended up delaying the ceremony when the audience couldn't handle the chief's overdramatic "death" scene. The uproarious laughter only intensified as the "dead" buffalo rolled over and jumped back over to his podium, carrying on with his chiefly role as if he hadn't just been slain by the groom. It could confidently be said that there wasn't a non-aching belly in the whole town after the ceremony so hard was the laughter.

It really was a great time for everyone involved, and Twilight hated having to party and run, but with the ceremony out of the way and the bride and groom off on their honeymoon, she didn't feel like she needed do any more to have made her mark on the town.

It was with that thought in mind that she left the border town towards her next stop, the "inspection" of Fort Pileus.

Author's Note

Yeah, doing it retrospective style really was a cop-out but it had to be done. It's time to get the ball rolling again. Anyway, I'm back! And I'm sorry for the delay: life's crazy and that's all I'm going to bore you with in way of an excuse for this absurdly long absence... (Sorry!)

Oh! And give some love to this one-shot I posted about what a nation facing Equestria in war would face! (It's a short sort-of comedy about the absurdity of such an action)

Prologue

"-Yes! Everything is going to be just fine!"

Twilight landed back on the balcony with her friends.

"Thanks girls, for everything." twilight said grabbing her friends for another group hug.

"Aw shoot Twi, ya know it's all good. Besides, it was you that saved us!"

"It wasn't me; it was our friendship that saved us once again." the hug tightened one last time before being released.

"Well we should probably be getting back to Ponyville now, I can't wait to start teaching Twi some sweet tricks!" Rainbow Dash flew over and began examining Twilight's wings. "These babies are larger than I've ever seen on a mare your size!"

Rarity shot Rainbow a glance. "What does that mean dear?"

"Well that means one of two things, either Twi's a freak, ~or~ she's not fully grown yet!"

Everyone stated at Rainbow for a moment until Fluttershy explained. "Pegasus wings go through a growth spurt when we're young, so now since you're an alicorn, it is possible" she was cut off, "you're going to grow all big and tall like Celestia!" Pinkie finished.

"Big AND tall? Are you saying something about my weight?" asked Celestia as she walked up behind the mares.

"Oh no princess! I'm sure she didn't-"

"Oh calm down my most faithful... Princess." Celestia said catching herself with a chuckle.

"Is there something you need?" twilight asked in an attempt to draw the conversation away from her new title.

"Yes princess, there are some things we need to go over before-" she was cut off by Pinkie "-before we have the REAL princess party with pin-the-tail-on-the-pony and cake and-" an orange hoof was shoved in the party pony's mouth.

"Sorry princess, she's just a little excited about all this. Can't say I blame her though, it's not every day your friend and neighbor becomes a princess. ...uh... She is still our neighbor right?"

All pleading eyes shot to the elder princess. "Yes, if that is what the princess wants, then even I have no right to tell her otherwise."

All her friends cheered before noticing that Twilight was looking to her mentor with a concerned expression. "But what about royal duties, I can't just abandon-"

"My dearest Twilight, while I have no doubt that you could fulfill all the duties of a princess right now, there is no need. I ran the kingdom alone for a thousand years, and now with Luna's help there really wouldn't be anything for you to do. So for now just go back to Ponyville and continue to learn the magic of friendship."

The first purely sincere and joyous smile since gaining her wings graced Twilight's face. "Oh thank you princess!" She embraced her mentor.

"Now don't go thinking that everything is going back to the way it was though. You may not have royal responsibilities here in Canterlot, but you are still a princess. Before you head back I'll be introducing you to your royal guard and entourage." Celestia gave a smile so wide that it nearly made Twilight think she was actually enjoying make her former student uncomfortable.

Author's Note

Never try editing on an IPhone, it is a trial of futility and suffering.

The Royal Entourage

"This is Blue Blazer, Dasher, Stonehoof, and Bastion," Celestia said, gesturing respectively to four nearly identical brown unicorns in royal guard armor. "and these are Bristle, Brush, Cloud, and Breeze." All the mares gave a bow as their names were mentioned. They were, as the guards, all nearly identical, bearing blonde manes and white coats.

"I thought they were just for the ceremony..." Twilight looked to her mentor questioningly.

"No Twilight, they are now your royal bodyguards, heralds, and hoofmadens, and they will be accompanying you back to Ponyville. They are to serve you for anything you need. I'm sure that they will be of great help to you from now on. Speaking of your trip back to Ponyville, aren't you going to be late to Pinkie's 'alicorn party'?"

Twilight's eyes grew wide, nopony missed a pinkie party, NOPONY. Twilight had seen firsthoof what happened when the guest of honor didn't show up to a Pinkie party, and it wasn't pretty.

The shock and akwardness of having eight new retainers was dwarfed by the possibility of being late to Pinkie's latest party.

"We should go right now!" Twilight gasped as she took to the air, about to dash out the nearest window.

"Primcess!" a wavering voice called behind her. Twilight turned back and looked to the mare in question, (Breeze if she remembered correctly) and then to Celestia, who was watching with some amusement.

"Oh..." Twilight had forgotten about her entourage already, and now noticing that of the group, none had the benefit of wings. "Ah... Is the train to Ponyville running today?" Twilight asked with a embarrased chuckle.

"Princess Twilight, if you say there is, then there is. ...but yes, there is a regularly scheduled route leaving in about ten minutes." Celestia Opened the door to the small chamber they were in, "If you leave now, you may still make it."

Twilight gave her mentor one final hug before sprinting out the door and down the hall.

"Surprise!" the entire populous of Ponyville yelled as Twilight exited the train onto the cramped platform at Ponyville station.

"Were you surprised? Were ya?" Pinkie shouted as she bounded towards Twilight, "I knew you'd expect a party, so to make it more of a surprise I had everyone jump out here at the station rather than at the library! So were you supprised? Huh! Were you? Come on~! Tell me!"

Twilight was surprised alright, but not by Pinkie. Instead she was quite surprised by the reaction time of all of her new guards, actually by all eight of the ponies that jumped on her when the whole town decided to act as an ambush. Even the hoofmadens joined in on the princess-protecting pony-pile.

Everyone that was not pinkie grimaced as they watched their princess get crushed by guards, but the pink pony remained as oblivious as ever.

"Please get off me." Twilight eked out from the bottom of the pile.

Nearly as quickly as the guards covered her, they got off, and returned to surrounding her. The hoofmadens did the same, apologizing profusely the whole time.

"It's alright, I know you all were just trying to protect me."she turned from her posse to the gathered crowd and got her first good look at the ambush-welcome. It looked like the entire town was there, and above them flew the banner "Welcome Back Princess Twil" with "ight" on a picket sign being held off to the side.

The mayor came forward with a deep bow. "Thank you princess for gracing our humble town with your presence. We may not have much to offer but-"

Twilight cut her off. "Mayor, please don't. I'm still just the librarian I've always been."

"Princess, I'm sure that you-"

Twilight cut her off again, this time with a little annoyance in her voice. "Mayor, if you want to make me happy, then please just treat me the way you always have. I'm just the librarian and your all-team-organizer."

"But princess! We really can't-"

"Goodnight." Twilight stomped away from the crowd back to the library.

When she arrived at her library abode once more she let out a sigh of relief. "Finally time for bed." she began the treck up to her room before she herd a cough behind her. She wheeled to find her guards standing awkwardly standing against the wall nearest the door, hooofmadens standing in a line right in front of them.

"Oh! I didn't even think of where you all would sleep. Um... The library isn't meant for... Um..." Twilight paused a moment, cursing herself for getting rid of the spare bed for the sake of fitting another bookshelf in her room. "Gentelcolts, you'll have to take the couches down here, and um you all can have my bed."

The guards seemed to be ok with the arrangement, but the mares looked to each other awkwardly.

"Uh princess," one of the mares began in a voice sounding a lot like Fluttershy on a particularly timid day, "We couldn't take your bed, we'll just, uh, take the floor." the other three watched in awe.

"That's a nice thought, but I'm not going to have guests sleeping on the floor."

"Princess, we aren't guests, we are your servants, we should take the floor."

"How about we all share the bed?

"We couldn't impose upon you princ-"

Twilight was upset, she just wanted to get to sleep as soon as possible. "How about this then, I order you, as princess, to sleep with me on the nice comfey bed as opposed to the hard floor."

Twilight didn't bother to check their reactions before turning to the bathroom, beginning to unfasten her dress along the way.

"Let us get that for you princess!" the mares called after her. The purple princess paid them no mind, until they all jumped after her, tripping over eachother and landing, once again, ontop the positively perturbed purple pony princess.

"This is going to take some getting used to..." Twilight said with a huff.

Oh, how right she was...

Preview: Spike woke as the sun pierced the tiniest of slits between the curtains and landed right in his eyes.

"Twilight~ what time is-" he turned to see his maternal figure splayed out on the bed, a blonde mare wrapped around each of her limbs.

"You know what? I'm not waking up today."

Author's Note

So~ I was thinking last night, so you know how in the last episode how Rarity's cutie mark switched to Rainbow Dash's? And that changed her destiny to Rainbow Dash's right? So if Rarity was living out Rainbow Dash's true destiny, but since she didn't become a Wonderbolt, but instead was a weathermare, does that mean that (only) being the weathermare was Rainbow Dash's true destiny all along?

Food for thought.

Failure

As any research text on the subject could tell you, Lupi are large magical creatures falling into the category commonly known as "celestial beasts". Standing slightly smaller proportionately to wolves than Ursa Majors stand to standard brown bears; Lupi range from about sixty-five to one hundred and fifteen feet tall. With razor sharp fangs, claws the size of tree trunks, and a running speed far beyond any terrestrial creatures, Lupi are not a very good creature to upset.

Stonehoof knew all this was the case and was using the utmost care not to make any noise as he entered the cave where his prey lay. The cave was absolutly gigantic on the inside, but only contained a single chamber as best he could tell. Despite this though, amid all the rocky obstructions and rubble, he couldn't yet find the Lupus.

Allowing his vision to further adjust to the dark, he switched his strategy of searching. No longer was he looking for a giant wolf creature, now he was searching for a the distinctive star-scape coat of celestial beasts.

His change in strategy was well timed, as less than twenty steps away he could see pinpricks of light spilling off a stone ledge.

The star scape had no distinct form and simply poured in an ephemeral mess down to the stone floor of the chamber as if it were a static version of princess Lina's mane or tail. Upon further inspection though, he realized that what he saw actually was a tail, a Lupus tail.

He saw, off to the right side of the chamber, a slope that curved up from his level up to the high plateau the Lupus lay upon.

Making his way silently up the slope, he finally saw the true enormity of the creature he was about to confront.

Despite that he trusted the princesses with his life, he still found himself questioning whether or not the sleeping potion on the end of his blow gun would really be effective on such a massive beast.

Putting his fears aside, as all soldiers must, he drew the gun with his magic. He considered just tossing the dart with magic, but at long range unicorn magic became less stable, and he doubted that he could throw it perfectly enough that by the time it reached its target the needle would still be at proper angle to penetrate the inherently thick hide of the beast.

He divided his attention to preparing his simple weapon and locating the optimum spot to shoot the beast.

Finding what he could best tell to be the neck he leveled the tube to his mouth...

"PRINCESS?ARE YOU IN THERE?"

The magically amplified call broke Stonehoof from his delicate concentration. He re-leveled the tube, but it was too late, the Lupus was awake. And pissed.

A giant paw came down at him.

Managing to dive out of the way, he allowed equine instinct to take over and he ran like tartarus towards the entrance of the cave.

"WHAT THE NAME OF CELESTIA ARE YOU DOING!!!" Twilight screamed from behind the two guards she thought to be long gone.

"Princess, I am sorry for my misconduct, but I am under orders to-"

"I don't care about your orders right now! What are you doing here! I told you to go home!"

"You don't have the authority to override-"

"ARE YOU LISTENING? I don't care about authority! That's not what's important right now! Do you even realize what you've just done!!!"

"I know that disobeying your orders is not typically permissible, but I am confident that Celestia will see it my way when-"

"When you're a pile of Lupus dung like the rest of us? We can only hope that Stonehoof managed to-"

At that moment a pony sprinted from the mouth of the cave running straight for the group.

"Run! Now!" the stallion hollered.

It was immediately evident why he was running as the very earth beneath their hooves began to shake and a great star-scape form filled the area behind him.

"Buck!" Twilight shouted as she quickly turned to the group, "Ok, everypony run. I'll hold it back as best I can."

"But prin-"

"I order you to go home!"

They complied. They ran, Zecora leading the way.

Twilight turned to face the beast.

Bastion sat reading a book by candle light on one of the couches that was substituting as his bed. The party had ended about an hour previous and Bastion decided to wait for both his fellow guards and to see if the Princess would spend the night at Zecora's.

He rose from his book as he heard the door to the library open and hooves race in.

"Oh, good, there you are! I was beginning to worry something was-" he looked over the back of the couch to his companions, "Where's the princess?"

Bastion watched as the newly returned members of his squad, out of breath and with fear on their faces.

"Fetch the Dragon!" Shouted Blue Blazer as he grabbed a random scroll off of Twilight's writing desk. Dasher immediately sprung into action, running out the library's front door.

"What's going on?" Bastion asked, not even pretending to hide the fear he felt.

"Stonehoof, Go to the hospital and have them prepare for anything. Tell them the situation and to stay ready to receive the princess."

That was confirmation. Bastion grabbed Dasher before he could run away, "What happened to the princess?"

"She-"

"Go! I'll fill him in."

Bastion released Dasher and he went off to his task, leaving Bastion with Blue Blazer in the library.

"So what's going on?"

"The princess... We had to leave... We accidentally..." every time he would begin he would stop as if what he was about to say was wrong. He sat, thinking, for a moment before continuing, "The princess covered our retreat from a wild Lupus in the Everfree."

"What? Why-"

An out of breath Dasher crashed his way back into the library, "The Element of Generosity and the Dragon were not at her home! What should we do sir?"

Blue Blazer froze. "Ok- OK- Contingency- the princess is in danger and we have no direct contact with the palace... Ok, we should- uh..."

"What Sir? What are we going to do?"

"We'll send a pegasi with a message to Canterlot!"

"That'll take all night at best!"

"Then we need to find a fast flier! Quick, who would be the fastest flier in a town like this? The guard would be the fastest, but this town doesn't have any stationed guard pegasi, so who's left?"

"Civil servants... This town's mailmare!"

"Good thinking! Bastion, take the message to the town's mailmare! Ask the mayor where she lives if you must, you remember where she lives from the briefing?"

Bastion nodded as he quickly retrieved the letter from the out-of-breath Dasher and exited the library, leaving Dasher and Blue Blazer alone.

With nothing to do in these tense moments they sat on the couches, still warm from when Bastion was laying comfortably only several minutes later.

It wasn't long before Dasher caught his breath and broke the tense silence.

"Sir, did we... kill the princess?"

The silence before was tense, but now it was crushing.

Blue Blazer opened his mouth to speak but no words came. He swallowed hard and looked Dasher in the face, "No" he said.

"But we!- if it wasn't for us!-"

"No- She- ...This is no one's fault."

"But sir! If we hadn't followed her! Or gone into the forest when she told us to go home! Or if we would have talked to her before we... If we wouldn't have been there then she- ... Sir? Did we... Did us being here to guard her get her killed?"

"No, we didn't, and besides we don't know anything yet, she may have beaten it easily! I hear she beat an Ursa before!"

"Yeah, I heard that story... She lulled an Ursa Minor back to sleep. This is different... This was a Lupus out for blood, do you really think-"

"Are you TRYING to take the blame? Because if you want it you can have it! I don't need you moping around disrupting me while I lead."

"Lead what! What this time? 'Oh hey, let's not listen to the princess about the pink one! Let's tackle the princess at the mere sight of another pony! Let's ransack the farmhouse without real reason! Let's arrest the element of honesty! Let's disobey orders and spy on the Princess at a party with her friends! Let's assume that everypony is a bucking assassin out for her head! Let's follow the princess into the woods we know nothing about without telling her! Let's kick down the door when we see the princess donating potion supplies!"

"But!-"

"I'm not done yet! Let's go after her after the she SPECIFICALLY TOLD US NOT TO FOLLOW HER! Let's go yelling into random bucking caves at the slightest chance the princess is inside!"

"You know as well as I that we are the ones with real combat and guarding experience! She doesn't realize that we have to assume everything is dangerous or else we aren't doing our jobs!"

"DOING OUR JOBS! There's the real kicker of the night! Do you want to know about doing our jobs? The whole bucking day we're hurting the princess and her friends because we're trying to keep her out of danger, but when there is clear and present danger in the form of a giant bucking monster looming over her, we retreat to safety with our tails between our legs!!! We didn't even stay to protect her friend! We just ran straight home like frightened fillies!"

"She ordered us to ret-"

"She ordered us? SHE BUCKING ORDERED US? What was that all about 'doing our job despite what she wants?' 'Buck what she wants!' was what you said! And look at you now! You bucking hypocrite!"

"Well you ran too!"

"..."

"Goodnight captain. Call me when Celestia arrives to recover her student's body. I'll start trying to sun-proof my armor."

Contrary to what he said, Dasher did not attempt to sun-proof his armor, instead he went straight to bed. Why not? At best he would wake up and find out he was still six years old, dreaming about his crazy adventures in the royal guard. Worst case he would awaken to the infinite hell-fire of the Goddess of the sun enraged over the death of her dearest friend, possibly leading to the death of the whole planet.

Either way he was tired and was going to sleep come tartarus or planetary destruction.

When he did wake though, his anticipation was dashed as neither case came true. In fact the room he was in looked just like it had as he went to sleep, other than the additional three slightly rising and falling forms cast in the orange hue of the morning sun.

*Knock**Knock*

Oh goodie! The Princess is here to murder us!

He opened the door, and immediately felt that he was right.

Return

Dasher stood in the doorway and stared at the alicorn before him.

It was Twilight.

...It WAS Twilight.

Her alicorn form was drenched in massive bloodstains, mud, and plant matter.

Dasher opened his mouth to scream, but a bloodied hoof stopped him before he could yell.

"Thanks for getting my feathers ripped out! it made for a heck of a time getting back! I wandered the forest all night thanks to that! I had to wait till I could see the shadows of the morning sun to navigate my way out." Twilight trudged in and plopped into the sofas' matching chair, exhaling a long breath, “Sorry, I shouldn't take this out on you... I'm just really tired... Could you have one of the- oh, they're at Applejack's with Spike and the girls... Would you mind making me some coffee?"

Twilight looked to Dasher hopefully. Dasher stood stock still.

"Aren't you..."

"Aren't I?"

"Going to take my soul?"

The horrendous figure stared straight at him.

"No...? I hadn't planed on it..."

"But aren't you..."

"Aren't I?"

"Aren't you Twilight's tormented soul come to claim me for allowing you to die?"

"...uh, no? I'm regular Twilight come to claim your coffee. ...uh, are you ok? You look like you've seen- Whoa!"

Dasher had his hooves around the returned princess as soon as he realized she wasn't his imagination.

"How did you escape the Lupus? I thought- We thought you-" Letting go he stammered and gestured towards Twilight's blood-soaked body, "But it looks like you really kicked some flank with that lupus!"

"I didn't. You know those reports that alicorns don't just not age, but are absolutely immortal? All wounds healing quickly and damage barely affecting us?"

He nodded.

"Confirmed." she said, letting the implications sink in.

"Does that mean..." Dasher drew back in shock.

"Yeah, I died, multiple times actually. But I did finally manage to stab the Lupus with the dart and wear him down until the drug took effect and he passed out. As for all this," she gestured to her now red coat, "all mine. He managed to land some pretty good hits on me."

"We're so sorry princess!" Dasher dropped his nose to the floor. "We failed terribly in our job."

"What do you have to be upset about? I ordered you to run, and you ran. It's not like anything too bad happened. All's well that ends well."

"But we abandoned you! Allowed you to die! We failed our duty!"

"Actually, I don't think you did. At any point has the guard ever been sent out to stop such a creature? Or has Celestia always done it herself? In the palace, how often did you actually protect the princess? I really think you are just here for crowd control and to keep paparazzi ponies out of my mane (and home). If I had to assess your actual value defensively, with only four of you, I'd say it's absurd for you to be expected to protect me. Celestia probably didn't expect anything to happen in 'peaceful little Ponyville' and only sent you to keep ponies off my back."

Dasher sat staring at the princess who had just revealed that he and his unit had the effectiveness of a decretive fence.

"...so, uh, could you get me some coffee? Soft and the girls are at Applejack's learning about Ponyville and I don't think my legs will obey me anymore."

"Yes princess!" Dasher snapped to the task and ran to the kitchen.

Twilight, who had spent the whole night dealing with the tiring issues of a giant wolf and the other horrors of the Everfree, let sleep drift over her.

Bastion and Stonehoof were the next to wake up to the sound of banging in the kitchen. Both had gone to sleep after completing their tasks the previous night, under directive from Blue Blazer to sleep, recharge and be prepared if something came up, or for when the princess arrived from Canterlot.

Both soldiers saw Twilight at the same time.

"Princess!" Bastion squeaked, "Princess?" he walked up to her, "Princess... oh sweet Celestia..." the extent of her blood-soaked form was a sight to take in. "Oh Celestia..."

Bastion and Stonehoof averted their gazes from the terrible sight.

"I'm so sorry..." tears flowed freely from Bastion, "I should have stayed with the others... Then maybe we all could have..."

Stonehoof put his foreleg around his companion.

"No, it wouldn't have changed anything. This is how the creator saw fit to-"

"Coffee's done!" Dasher called from the kitchen and less than a second later he entered the main room with a tray and the brightest of smiles.

"Oh, hey fellas, how'd ya sleep?"

Bastion and Stonehoof looked to each other and then back to the coffee bringer.

"What guys?" Dasher looked down at himself, "Do I have a stain on my coat? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Dasher, I can't believe... I'm so sorry... We'll get you help."

"Nah, I got this. It's just some coffee for the princess!"

Bastion and Stonehoof exchanged another glance.

"Dasher, I need you to-"

"I'll help you in a sec, the princess needs her coffeeeeeEEEEEE!"

He tripped, spilling the coffee all over the unconscious princess.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Her scream rang out setting off several other events all at once.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Bastion and Stonehoof embraced at the unholly horror risen before them.

Awoken by the screaming, Blue Blazer jumped to his hooves and scaned the room for the source of the commotion. Upon finding it, he promptly passed right back out.

The door to the library opened as a brown earth pony walked in, "Princess Twilight? I'm sorry to bother you so early in the... nevermind." he backed right out the way he came in, closing the door behind him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa.......?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Uh...?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Bastion? Stonehoof?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"You can stop now."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Seriously, stop."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Twilight took a deep breath. "STOP!" she yelled at them.

"She's unholy! Kill her quick!" Bastion shouted as Stonehoof dove for his Sword amongst his discarded armor.

"No need for that." Twilight said as she grabbed both freaking out stallions with her magic, "I'm not a zompony or anything, just... Well actually, by definition I am, but not really."

Her explanation didn't seem to help much as the stallions flailed.

"SHUT UP!" she shouted as she pounded her hoof into the ground for emphasis.

They finally complied.

She looked over to Dasher, who was covering his ears in the corner.

"Is it over?" He asked.

"Yes," she said, looking into her grasped ponies' eyes for confirmation that it was, in fact, over. She received more nods.

"Ok, and by the way, Dasher, when you tell these two about what I told you happened, amend my analysis of alicorn biology to include pain absence."

The stallion stared at her awkwardly.

"Pain stems from the body's natural damage avoidance systems, but likely due to my immortality, I guess I no longer need pain. ...and here I was thinking it had just been adrenaline that made me not feel... Well... all this." she gestured to her bloody self again.

"That's..." Bastion said as he felt the magical binds that held him up dissolve, releasing him.

"...wonderful princess." Stonehoof finished for his speechless companion. "It's good to see you're ok."

"Thanks. Anyway, Dasher, you mind telling these two what I told you? I would say to wait until the captain woke up, but he seems like he's going to be out for a while.

"Yes princess!"

Author's Note

I may do some reaction pseudo-bonus-chapters later in which I play out different scenario changing who is on the other side of the door at the end of chapter ten, but for now I have to tank out a few more chapters of cannon-ness.

Keep the suggestions coming!

Preparation for a Big Day

As soon as they found out about the day's plans, the maid’s impromptu intervention became a frenzy as Twilight felt herself being dragged, magically held plate of food and all, up the stairs to the mares' level.

"Do you think she should wear a sash?" she heard one of them frantically call as they dug through their luggage, pulling out various pieces of Twilight's clothing.

"No! She has to wear a dress!"

"Or maybe I could just wear what Celestia wore at my brother’s wedding?" Twilight interjected between bites.

"...I don't think a leg splint and horn salve would blend as well with your complexion..."

"No, I mean at the first wedding. The one that I interrupted."

"You mean when she was just wearing her regalia?"

"Exactly!"

A round of questioning looks was shared and...

Twilight and her hoofmadens made their way down Main Street on their way across town.

Twilight was now used to turning heads, it was just something that alicorns had to deal with, but as she walked down the street with her entourage in tow, she was sure that the stares she was getting now were something else.

"How did you convince me to wear all this?" Twilight asked, looking down once again at the dress and jewelry she had been put in, "Better yet, where did you even get all this?"

"What do you mean princess?"

"Where did you get this dress? I don’t remember ever having a dress like this, let alone one tailored for my wing! Where the hay did you get this?”

The mares shared a smile.

"Miss Rarity wanted to give it to you at Miss Pie's 'alicorn party' but you went off with Zecora in such a rush that she had to give it to us to give to you."

"I’ll have to thank her! It’s wonderful! But what about this?" she gestured to the torq around her neck resembling Celestia’s, yet was instead wrapped in blue gems and set with a finely cut pink gem in the same shape as the element of magic that rested upon her head.

"Also from Miss Rarity, she said something about 'just being compelled to complete the ensemble' and that how was 'a crime of fashion not to at least own a piece to complement your crown.'"

"Oh..."

"Do you not like them mistress? We won't be offended. And we won't tell her, if you-"

"No, it’s absolutely beautiful, it most definitely is! -And functionally it's nice to have a dress that has space for my wings to lay without getting fabric bunched underneath, but it's a little... Maybe just a little... Overdone? I mean I don't think that I should be this dressed up for a wedding of this nature."

"What do you mean princess?"

"Well, I met up with Braeburn last night, and he told me some of the specifics. While I am not entirely sure what's going to happen, I can confidently tell you this is not going to be a 'normal' wedding..."

"Ugh... Dasher?" Bastion sat up yawning and wiped morning tears from his eyes, "What time is it?"

"Almost Noon!" Dasher yelled. Bastion was awake in a flash, "-and that's not it! The Captain, the Princess, and all the mares are gone!"

Bastion began to put on his armor as fast as possible, "Do we know where they went?" he asked as he unknowingly put a leg bracer on upside down.

"No, and Stonehoof thinks that the Captain never came back last night!"

"What?!?"

Finished dressing, they made their way downstairs finding Stonehoof waiting near the door.

"What's that?" Dasher asked, noticing Stonehoof reading something.

"A note from the princess." he hoofed it over and they took a look.

"If you're reading this, sorry about ditching you, but I was asked to not have you accompany me around today. I hope you'll understand. I politely request that you just take the day off, but seeing how well that went last time I'll save you the trouble of harassing the whole town, and I'll just give you a map in case you do want to find us.

P.S. Don't jump to conclusions when you arrive!

Attached was a simple and concise map depicting a route out of town and into the flatlands.

""Soooo~ are we going?" Dasher asked, trying not to sound like he wanted to cave and skip out on work.

"Of course we will! We have a duty to the princess to ensure her safety and security! ...so, uh... let’s grab some lunch and head on over if we catch wind of anything that can kill an immortal."

"I could actually use some more sleep after staying out so late last night..." Dasher mused, looking to Stonehoof for his opinion.

-which he did not receive because the stoic stallion had walked over to the stairs and was making his way back to bed.

"Stone's got the right idea!" Dasher laughed, following him up.

Bastion watched his companions depart for a moment before conceding to his body and following in turn.

I just hope the captain's doing alright... Did he even come back last night? he thought before joining his companions in Luna's domain.

"I'll show them! I'll show them to try to hurt my princess! To try and keep me from protecting her! They think I'm crazy! I'll show them!"

"I'll protect the princess!"

Author's Note

Wondering why it wasn't "Mane" Street? I'm classier than that. (No I'm not.)

Anyway, I have some poetry to share:

"This arc! This arc! God I'm tired of this arc! Dear princess Celestia get us out of Appaloosa!"

This particular stop was only meant to last like two chapters! Now it's spiraled into what will probably end up being a dozen! ...Which gives rise to two problems: The first is that with the extended arc I have created so much build up that the way I had originally planned to end it would be a let down, causing me to change up some things, (which is taking time.) And the second: I have too many ideas! I've already got a few of the future chapters outlined and some already written! I just have to finish off our struggles here in Appaloosa and then we can FINALLY go somewhere else!