Queen's Vengeance

Chapters

Chapter 1: For whom the bell trolls
Chapter 2: Negotiations
Chapter 3: It trolls for thee
Chapter 4: With a little bit of help from my friends
Chapter 5: High class, no class
Chapter 6: Egomania pt 1
Chapter 7: Egomania pt 2

Chapter 1: For whom the bell trolls

“I’ll never give in to you, you horrendous bug!” the unicorn stallion shouted as he struggled mightily at the hardened resin restraining all four of his limbs before slumping down in exhaustion.

Queen Chrysalis rolled her large emerald eyes at the pony’s stubborn resistance. Three weeks. Three long weeks this pony had resisted her charms. Not that it truly mattered to her. No matter what he did, those three weeks still served her purposes well.

“Shining Armor, my dear, why must you be so stubborn? It’s not as if the hospitality of the Hive is lacking. We’ve fed you, kept you warm and healthy, even go to the expense of making sure you're comfortable.”

The queen grinned coyly, exposing her fangs.

“We even bring updates about your beloved wife and your darling sister from your replacement. Come now, surely life is not so bad here for you.”

The captain of the Royal Guard lifted his head to give his captor a tired glare. His mouth twisted into a snarl as he spoke his voice low, practically dripping with venom. “I want to go home! I want to hold my wife again. Give me back my life, you monster!”

As he yelled, the stallion’s horn glowed a bright magenta as he raised a completely spherical shield around himself, severing his bonds. Leaping to his hooves, Shining Armor rushed his hated foe, head lowered in the hopes of skewering Chrysalis on his horn like a bug on a needle. Unfortunately, at that angle he didn’t see the smug grin still on the Changeling Queen’s face grow even wider as her crooked horn took on a fiery green glow.

Instead of the wet crunch of chitin being penetrated he was expecting, Shining Armor felt his horn meet an impenetrable barrier before being thrown bodily back against the wall. Every bone in his body shook from the impact as he collapsed to the floor with an agonized cry.

Stepping over to him, the Changeling Queen set a hoof down against the pony’s horn, pinning his head to the floor. Pained, Shining opened his one free eye to glare balefully at the Queen who only smiled in return.

“Your manners are atrocious, Duke Shining Armor. What would your wife say if she saw you attacking your gracious host?” Before the captain could say anything, Chrysalis continued, applying just the slightest amount of pressure on the unicorn’s horn to silence him.

“I’ve been quite understanding of your multiple break out attempts and have even forgiven a few of your more violent transgressions against my beloved children. However, this unwarranted attack against my person is the final straw. Your belongings are being gathered as we speak. When the sun sets, you will be banished back to the Crystal Empire.”

Shining Armor’s mouth hung open at this proclamation. “Wha?! Y-You’re banishing me?! You kidnapped me from my bedroom in the first- MMPH!”

As he spoke, a changeling drone appeared at his queen’s mental summons and without pause, spat a wad of resin into the Duke’s horrified face where it hardened quickly, effectively silencing him.

Waving a hoof airily, the queen dismissed the drone who bowed before silently disappearing through a shadowed doorway.

With a smirk, she levitated the still gagging pony in front of her as she applied the rest of his bonds personally. “Such a shame, you are a fine specimen of a stallion. I wish I had gotten a better look back before the wedding.”

Chrysalis burst into a full-throated laugh as the stallion’s conflicted face burned red from both embarrassment and anger. “You’re cute when you’re angry.” She teased. With a flash of her horn, Shining Armor disappeared back into the dungeons to await his release.

Shifting on her throne, she moved to the next item on her agenda. “Now that’s over with, let’s see what my infiltrator is up to.” Chrysalis’s horn flashed once again. The dark, organic, twisting corridors with their pale green bioluminescent lights that made up the subterranean portion of the Changeling Capital city were quickly replaced by stark crystalline hallways.

Here in the Crystal Empire, the sun’s light practically made the Crystal Palace glow from every angle. No matter where one looked, the light was reflected right back at them. It made the queen’s head hurt just thinking about it. Thankfully, her infiltrator had found some way to adapt.

Even now, Shining Armor’s doppelganger was chatting it up with some officious looking ponies over what looked to be a state dinner. The main course of a rich hearty soup made of what looked to be potatoes made Chrysalis’s stomach grumble as it reminded her she had not yet seen to her body’s biological needs.

Not bothering to break her eyes from the illusion, she called out. “Miroir, bring me something to eat!”

A changeling with a chef’s cap atop his head peeked into the throne room.
“Anything specific, my queen?” He rasped out.

Her unblinking eyes aglow from the spell, the Queen shook her head. “Soup sounds nice. Nothing sweet, mind you, unless it’s chocolate. Otherwise, surprise me.”

Miroir bowed and left the room quickly to go start the meal, snagging his chef’s cap mid-fall smartly in his fangs as he left.

That distraction out of the way, Chrysalis settled her body down into her throne for more comfort. In her mind’s eye, the dinner progressed at a phenomenally boring rate.
She sent a mental message to her infiltrator, frowning slightly as he jumped ever so slightly in his seat next to Princess Cadance. “My child, the time has come. Is everything in order for the next stage of my plan?” A silent affirmative brought another smile to her face, one that displayed her fangs in all their glory. “Good. If things go well, our favorite little duke will have a night he’ll never forget.”

The clicking-squish of changelings hooves on the floor announced the return of the chef. Miroir entered the throne room, a bowl of soup with chunks of potato and meat in it. Also in his magical grasp was a bronze amulet in the shape of a stylized heart. Its surface was tarnished from its extensive use in the underground caverns, but that didn’t matter as it practically oozed the delectable taste of love. The queen floated the dishes over in front of herself.

Giving the soup an appreciative sniff, the queen turned an eye to her chef. “What have we here for dinner, Miroir?

The changeling smiled, proud to have a ruler who appreciated his skills even if she wasn’t that fond of some of his sweeter inventions. “We have baekeoffe, my queen. As per your wishes, I managed to work around the original recipe a little bit. Instead of lamb, we have Prince Ovis of the Ram nation raiding party from earlier this week. You did wish to have his head on a silver platter and I felt this was a suitable alternative.

The chef hadn’t even finished his description before his queen was laughing. “Blending food and humor again, Monsieur Le Grande?” she teased, watching as the changeling some how managed to blush through his carapace at the reference to his alternate life.

Chrysalis made quick work of the meal in her hunger before draining the amulet completely dry of love. “Ooo! Chocolate-lover! You have outdone yourself again, Miroir!”

The changeling briefly basked in his queen’s love before excusing himself to the kitchens again.

Chrysalis idly watched him go. She felt the time was approaching as the chill of the coming night slowly bled down from the heights of the city. Simply stepping out of the throne room and looking up at the exquisite glass windows a kilometer above her showed the darkening sky.

“Guards, bring me Shining Armor! It is time.”

****

"What an exhausting day!" Princess Cadance moaned, laying back on her bed. She never thought a day could have gone on for so long nor have held so many surprises. It felt more like a week had passed than a mere few hours.

First off there had been that boring state dinner that had made Cadance stop and think about what a millennium of having to deal with nobility truly meant. Then in the middle of an audience with the local nobles, the real surprise came when her beloved, Shining Armor, had started acting in a manner she’d never seen!

It all started when he had accused the noble Lord Thunderthighs of the House of Emerald of being a fat unmotivated parasite on society that probably needed twelve servants armed with a microscope and a pair of tweezers just to find his own penis in response to the Lord's request for more construction materials.

After this outrageous and unprovoked attack against a prestigious member of the nobility, the rogue Duke had continued on, lambasting and taunting one member after the other of the noble houses about the most crude and revolting of things before laughing cruelly in their faces.

Before then Princess Cadance had never considered herself an angry pony and did her best to imitate the famous control her aunt, Princess Celestia, demonstrated in her times of anger. This evening however no amount of control helped as the pink alicorn hadn't been "just angry". She was furious!

Shining Armor had always the perfect gentlestallion. It was this and his immense love of his little sister that had endeared the young stallion to her in the first place. It had been at that moment, however, that the princess of love had felt her mind consumed with anger at her husband, breaking all semblence of emotional control as she yelled at him in front of all the guests to mind his place.

As furious as Cadance had been, she still had no idea of what had come over her beloved knight. The Shining Armor she saw then was almost like a caricature of the stallion she loved originally, taking the absolute worst parts of his personality and exaggerating them ten fold. It was only as she confronted him, did the Princess manage to piece together what was occurring, here in her very own palace. The past had caught up to her yet again as Shining Armor had turned to her with a wicked smile and his eyes glowing a sickly green.

Without a word he'd leapt from his chair, causing servants and nobles alike to flee from him as green flames erupted around him. The throne room echoed with cries of “Changeling!” as the nobility had stampeded out of the throne room. Cadance, however, had remained to do battle with the changeling, vengeance on her mind. Even now, the few servants that had remained hidden spoke in whispers how the petite Cadance had ferociously battled the rather large changeling warrior that had revealed itself.

She had put up the best fight she could, blasting her opponent with magic and pummeling it with her hooves. Despite the punishing assault and to her ever lasting dismay, the Princess of Love's magic was easily blocked and the large warrior’s hardened carapace shrugged off her blows.

Panic creeping in, Cadance had poured even more energy into her attacks before she realized the beast was being empowered by his distant queen. Slowly, the fight turned against her before a surprise bolt of green magic knocked her from the sky allowing the changeling warrior to finally pin her to the ground with a large hoof.

It had been at that very moment when all seemed at it's bleakest, that the tables quickly turned in her favor. Shining Armor, the real one, still covered in the sticky remnants of his bonds had stormed into the throne room, ramming the changeling warrior, knocking it off his wife.

As grateful as she was for the assistance, Cadance was no fool and was loath to let her guard down despite the temporary reprieve. She had been fooled once and wasn't about to open herself up to a betrayal so soon. It wasn't until Shining whispered something to her that made the Princess go red from nose to ears that she was convinced it was him. Reunited again, she joined with her husband on the offensive.

Battle joined once again with a cry. Together the couple pushed back against the warrior, the changeling being pushed back relentlessly. Soon Cadance and Shining Armor stood ready to strike the knock out blow. It was not too be however. As the warrior retreated from at the duo it was abruptly teleported away, ending the battle completely.

****

The day finally won, and the nobles and citizenry reassured of their safety, the couple finally went off to bed.

Shining had just laid his head down and was on the verge of falling asleep, feeling the flagging remnants of his energy being sapped away by the comforting embrace of his own bed. A nudge on his shoulder revived him enough to look at his wife who was still up….and flicking her tail left and right while smiling coyly at him. Shining Armor felt his energy swiftly coming back to him as he rose just enough to pull his wife into bed with a passionate kiss.

Queen Chrysalis met the shadowed figure on top of her citadel. The shadowed being dipped its head politely as it landed next to her.

“Well met, Queen Chrysalis.” The shadow intoned in a dull voice. “As you can guess, I am here to discuss the cessation of changeling attacks against Equestria.”

The changeling queen laughed. “I don’t believe there’s been any aggression against Equestria, my dear ally.”

The shadow snorted. “You know what we mean. The unwarranted attacks against territory currently under the protection of Equestria counts as an attack against us. We are not a nation you want to be enemies with.”

“I’ve survived so far. Also tell me if I’m wrong, but if one individual counts as aggression, then doesn’t you being here count as an invasion?”

The shadow shifted slightly. “Of course not. We’re here on a diplomatic mission to prevent further aggressions between our peoples.”

Queen Chrysalis smiled. “Don’t worry, any and all aggressions will cease by the end tonight, my friend.”

Without warning the Queen’s horn strobed bright green. The startled face of Princess Luna was briefly lit up. “Then what, pray tell, was that?” the Princess of the Night inquired.

The changeling queen was quiet for a moment. “As I said, all aggression will be ended by tonight. However I still require vengeance. I will simply satisfy it in other ways.”

The two royals sat in silence for a moment, Luna’s unanswered question still hanging in the air before Chrysalis spoke up again. “Does cock-blocking count as aggression?”

Chapter 2: Negotiations

With a flash of fiery green light, the unicorn stallion materialized before promptly crashing to the cold floor.

“Ugh, what happened?” Shining Armor, groaned as he pushed himself into a sitting position. His dark blue mane and white coat were disheveled from his time with Cadance. They had just gotten to the good part when he had been interrupted by that green light.

It had just begun to dawn upon him just who was responsible for this when a polite cough interrupted his thinking. The Crystal Duke whipped his head around towards the source. There upon a golden throne sat a large white alicorn who was staring at him in surprise.

“I’m surprised to see you this time of night, Shining Armor,” said Princess Celestia, Diarch of the Sun. “We were not expecting your rather….abrupt arrival.”

A sly grin tugged at the corners of the Princess’s mouth. “Normally, I’d request you to stand to attention, but it looks like you are already on top of things, Duke Shining Armor.”

The stallion’s mind reeled as he realized where he was: The Royal Throne room of Canterlot. Desperate, his eyes flicked back and forth looking for the horrified faces of the easily offended elite of Canterlot. The last thing he needed were for his mum and dad to be in attendance to see their son in this state.

Thankfully, fate smiled upon Shining. The only ponies in attendance were the Princess and her two guards at the base of the throne. Though the two could have been statues, Shining knew the two grey unicorns were dying of laughter on the inside.
His heart sank as he knew it wouldn’t be long before a new story about their Captain would circulate through the guard barracks. It was only a matter of time before it got out.

The Princess’s soothing voice helped ease his fears if nothing else.

“Come now, Captain. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I felt the magic, so I know it wasn’t your own. Be at ease.”

Before he could say anything, a bright flash of warm golden light flooded the throne room. Once it faded, the unicorn stallion was no where to be seen, Celestia’s magic whisking him back to the Crystal Empire.

As soon as he was gone, Princess Celestia let out a rather inelegant snort before burst into laughter. It didn’t take long for her guards to join in. After the laughter died down, Celestia couldn’t help but wonder just where the heck Luna had gone off to that Celestia needed to fill her place, unaware of the large blue compound eyes watching her from the shadows of the ceiling.

****

Princess Luna was finding it hard to maintain a dignified manner in the presence of her newest ally as she fought down a fit of giggles through sheer force of will.

Queen Chrysalis wasn’t fooled however. Her people knew acting better than any fool pony alive or dead and even now she could hear the hitch in the blue alicorn’s voice. It had been worth the look on Luna’s face, showing her what the drone in Canterlot had seen. The Lunar Princess’s jaw had literally dropped open as she watched events unfold.

“Thou art even worse than my sister, Chrysalis! Celestia wouldn’t dare embarrass a pony like that!” Luna scolded.

The Queen merely chuckled. “It wasn’t that bad. My original plan was to throw him into there during a live audience with the nobility! Imagine the scandal!” At this the Queen threw a hole-riddled hoof over her brow in an overly dramatic manner.

Luna shook her head slowly. “So this is what you meant about exacting vengeance. Instead of out right attacking ponies, you intend….. to pull pranks?”

The changeling nodded her head, “Indeed. It may seem as if it’s below me, but everyone has his or her own priorities. Before we can sit down and discuss trade policies and routes, I want to…no….need to even the score.”

Luna opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off.

“If it’s about the invasion, then before you ask, no. That doesn’t count. I have little remorse about that. It was necessary for our survival as a species which in turn helps your little ponies.”

“Surely, you jest!” Princess Luna exclaimed, her dark blue wings flexing open in surprise. “While I’m for the cooperation of our species, what is it you changelings do for us ponies?”

Queen Chrysalis simply gave her a fang filled smile. “I’m so glad you asked, my dear. As it turns out, our northern stronghold is in the middle of a skirmish with some old friends of your precious ponies. Allow me to show you.”

Luna merely nodded her consent before letting her eyes met the Queen’s large, green eyes which promptly lit up with a ghostly fire.

Abruptly, Luna felt the wind against her face. Not the hot, gritty wind of the Badlands, but the deathly cold wind of the northern reaches that seemed to slap the warm from her bones as it whistled through the holes in her wings and legs. This odd sensation brought the Princess up short until she remembered she was seeing these events live through a changeling courtesy of their queen.

The changeling stronghold wasn’t much to look at, the changelings eschewing traditional fortifications in favor of having their fortress being as undetectable as they were. Unless one was a changeling, it looked just like the rest of the snow capped mountains.

As Luna’s host looked around, the Princess noted a rather disturbingly large blizzard hanging over the mountain range. Before she could break the connection to ask the Queen about it, her sharp ears caught a faint sound on the wind. Distant and echoing, it still carried a note of anger. The sound chilled the Princess more than the wind could.

Then they came. Pouring out of the blizzard like an invisible wave. Had a pony witnessed this, they’d have only noted a few minor distortions in the air, the menacing foe a wraith upon the wind.

However, to the compound eyes of the changeling warriors, the malevolent spirits were as clear as day. With the slight equine cast to their otherwise ghostly body, a pony would have to be daft not to recognize a windigo, the evil air spirits of legend that fed off hatred.

The changeling host started flapping their wings with a droning buzz that filled the region. As one, they took to the sky, engaging the windigos in a deadly aerial ballet.

In the past, almost every kind of magic known to pony kind failed against the spirits, many times making the windigos even stronger. Now, the magic of the changelings slashed through the air, searing them as fire would for most beings.

In actuality, the deadly dance took only moments as the changelings swept the windigos from the sky with little effort. Breaking up into wings, they proceeded to hunt down any stragglers they could find.

Princess Luna sat frozen on the spire of the changeling citadel, her eyes wide and ears laid back as if still hearing the haunting cries of pain.

A curious drone waved a hole-covered hoof waved in front of her face, backing up as the Princess snapped back to reality.

“I had thought the Windigos long extinct.” She murmured.

Chrysalis gave her an insufferably cheery smile, making sure to show off her fangs. “Nope! Quite alive! Good thing too, it gives my soldiers something to fight against so they can hone their abilities.”

The alicorn groaned. “What is the purpose of revealing this to me?”

The changeling looked thoughtful for a moment. “To show you that ponies need us as much as we need them.”

“The power of friendship wards Equestria from the windigos, Chrysalis. You’ll need a stronger argument than that!” Luna scoffed.

A moment of silence reigned. Finally the Princess looked over at the monarch. That same smile graced the Queen’s face, causing the pony’s stomach to plummet. “What is it you aren’t telling me?”

“The power of friendchip and love is strong, there is no doubt, but imagine having to use it over and over and over again. Can you imagine the toll it would take on your ponies to permanently keep the windigoes out? My warriors have fought them, I’ve fought them, and my ancestors have fought them. Windigos are incredibly tenacious beings with a one-track mind. The power of love may cast them out temporarily, but it’s no more permanent than when it cast us out. If my ancestor’s hadn’t been on the trail of the ponies and intercepted the weakened windigos, they would have returned and torn those new bonds apart.”

Luna gave the Queen an imperious look. “While this does explain what the changelings do for ponies. Somewhat. It won’t erase the invasion from their minds. Whatever you justification, you took a little too much enjoyment in assaulting my sister and claiming power.”

Chrysalis simply gave her a coy look. “You of all ponies should know how….intoxicating power can be. Plus I’ll admit. I was a little drunk at the time.”

Luna merely arched an eyebrow.

“Okay, okay! I was really drunk! I’d forgotten that true love is an intoxicant to us changelings.”

The now flustered Queen looked away quickly, truly hoping that the Lunar Princess couldn’t see her blushing. In the dark. Through a black exoskeleton. She glanced over at the now smug pony. No such luck.

“That explains why my niece was staggering around whenever I saw her.” Luna mused.

“That is beside the point.” Chrysalis said quickly, looking away again trying her best to hide her blush with her mane. “As soon as my vengeance is slaked, I will be in communication.”

“And who will be your targets, might I ask?”

At this, seven changelings drones rushed up to their queen, taking the appearance of each of the Elements of Harmony with the last turning into a small purple dragon. Chrysalis herself was no longer present, her spot on the roof now occupied by a regal white alicorn.

“Each of these ponies and the dragon will be my targets. In no real order mind you.” Said ‘Celestia’ in a familiar motherly voice.

A small tremor in Luna’s voice betrayed her agitation. “And just why do you need to get vengeance on my sister? As I recall, you gave her horn a pretty serious burn. It took over an hour to buff the worst of it off!”

“Think of it as a pre-emptive ego check. She’s getting the peace she wants so badly, but I’m not going to let her off the hook so easily.”

Princess Luna barely felt something loop around her neck before the Queen pulled her into a half-hug. “Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t wanted to get her back for a few pranks. Soap in your soup? Waking up on the ceiling? Not to mention that ‘holier than thou’ disposition? That’s my job!”

Luna let out a nervous laugh “Those were probably to get back at me for the paint incident.”

Chrysalis let out a harsh braying laugh, completely at odds with her appearance as Princess Celestia, her hug tightening a bit. “You mean after you painted her to look like Nightmare Moon in her slumber? I heard she woke up to you punching her in the flank, yelling obscenities at ‘Nightmare.’”

It was the dark princess’s turn to blush. “Drinking may have been involved.”

The changeling still disguised as Fluttershy interrupted the conversation. “My queen, we all still have duties to perform.” It rasped out, not having bothered disguising it’s voice.

The two royals nodded. A flash of green flame surrounded Queen Chrysalis before she spoke, extending a chitin-covered hoof. “Well, my little princess, have we an accord? Peace with the Changeling Nation after I take care of a few…..Mmmm….details?”

Princess Luna made a show of thinking, tapping a silver clad hoof to her chin thoughtfully, before reaching for the Queen’s hoof. “Yes, on the condition that you tone down the pranks. What you did to Shining Armor and Princess Cadance is too much and too personal. Some of the Elements are far too sensitive to deal with that kind of embarrassment.”

The Queen’s face darkened a bit, her eyes narrowing. She was taken by surprise when Princess Luna grasped her hoof firm and hard. “As for my sister,” she continued. “Make it one she’ll remember”

“Deal.”

With that the two shook, large grins on both their faces.

Author's Note

Pardon the world building. I couldn't resist. Will get back to the full on funny next chapter.

Chapter 3: It trolls for thee

Celestia was a pony of many names and titles. The Solar Diarch, Princess of the Sun, the Lady of Canterlot, Night’s End, and many other titles, many sounding even sillier and pretentious than the last in her ears.

Princess was the only title she’d ever wanted or even needed and even then Celestia found that more often than not it got in the way a lot whenever she conversed with her little ponies.

This morning however the majestic white alicorn wished to lay claim to one more title: She Who Would Not Rise From Bed. Celestia was credited with many things, some ponies even going as far as calling her a goddess. However one of the few things she knew she could not be credited with is being a fast riser. This early sunless morning found the Solar Diarch wrapped up in the sheets of her bed like a great silken burrito, her mane and tail flowing languidly from both ends.

With a heartfelt groan, the princess unwrapped herself from her lovely cocoon of blessed warmth and squirmed to the side of her bed so her long legs could get the leverage she needed to get up. It was so hard leaving that warm bed, that Celestia briefly envied her sister’s longer coat. Luna wasn’t a shaggy pony, but her coat was long and full enough that she stayed warm on even the coldest nights.

It was even harder rising this particular morning due to a certain sister’s one pony polka band playing and dancing in her dreams for the night.

As much as she didn’t want to, Celestia knew it was justified considering how much she had hounded Luna ever since the Night Princess return from her mysterious nightly sojourn a week ago.

No matter what the Solar Diarch did, no matter how much she asked, wheedled, or begged, the blue alicorn simply evaded her questions and inquiries with a smug smile and a maddeningly vague “You’ll see.”

It was almost enough to make a pony throw her hooves in the air in exasperation. However due to her station, the solar princess refrained from doing so, satisfying herself with an enormous and not particularly lady-like yawn that felt as it was going to unhinge her jaw.

It irked her to no end, not knowing, but Celestia knew she would simply have to trust her sister’s judgment and be patient.

“Guards,” she called. “Have my pre-breakfast brought to my room.”
A muffled “yes, your majesty” could barely be heard through the thick oak door.

With a snack on the way, Princess Celestia concentrated on the spell that had earned her the very mark that now adorned her flank so long ago. Celestia felt the familiar surge of power and the fierce, fiery presence of the sun as she reached out to it. Enveloping the celestial orb with her magic, Celestia drew it slowly over the horizon. Faintly, she felt the retreat of the moon as Luna pulled her namesake across the sky. In unison, the two sisters brought about a new day.

As the last traces of golden magic ceased swirling about her, a knock came on the door.

“Come in, please.” Called the princess as she settled herself at the small reading table. Wordlessly, a unicorn mare dressed in a maid’s outfit entered, carrying a fairly empty tray in her magic.

“Here’s your…. bagel, your majesty. Are you sure that you don’t want anything else to eat?” the maid asked, her head low.

Already spreading cream cheese on her bagel, Celestia shook her head. “No thank you, my dear. I just wanted something to hold me until breakfast time.”

The Princess munched on her bagel reflectively until she noticed the maid was still there. “Is there something else?”

The maid flushed. “I-I was just wondering if the rumors about Captain Armor appearing magically during the night court last week were true?” She asked, bowing so low her nose almost touched the ground.”

Celesta paused. As much as she liked to tease her ponies, she was wary of going too far in teasing them. Still lying wasn’t something she made a habit of, especially for something as minor as this.

“It is true. He….dropped by unexpectedly one night.” The Princess chuckled quietly at her own joke.

“O-oh!”

Celestia’s eyes suddenly took on a stern look. “There’s more to that rumor isn’t there?”

The maid was practically shaking at this point. “Y-y-yes, ma’am! Not a whole lot, just…..that Duke Armor was….indecent.”

The maid’s voice fell off as Her Majesty, Princess Celestia, rubbed her eyes hard with her hooves. “Ugh. I knew I should have sworn those two to silence. My dear, if you would be so kind as to run damage control on that rumor, it’d be a big favor to me. Also have last week's night court guard rotation brought by my quarters tonight.”

The maid nodded before bolting for the door, eager to be away from annoyed royalty.

Breakfast or any other given meal in the Royal Palace was an extremely complicated affair for many ponies.

For servants and chefs, timing and quality of food were of grave importance. After all, having a foreign dignitary or nobility waiting too long for their food or even worse having the meals be inadequate would certainly spell the end of their employment!

Said nobles, dignitaries, and politicians had to think of just what to say to the Princesses over their meals in the hopes of improving the odds in their favor.

The Princesses themselves had keep their minds open and sharp to avoid saying the wrong thing and accidentally insulting anyone.

For a successful meal, every thing had to be just perfect; perfect food and manners. This particular morning was no different, no matter what was in store.

***

The herald, a deep-chested member of the Solar pegasus guard glanced at the clock preparing to announce the latest dignitary. Twenty minutes until his job here was done. Personally, he couldn’t wait until his shift ended. Listening to nobility and politicians grub about the Princesses for favors wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time.

Hell, he spent most of his time and discipline just trying to keep himself from yawning. It was during his latest clock check that the little slip of paper was hoofed to him. Turning back, he scanned the piece of paper without really thinking.

It was only after he started did he realize who this was. “Now announcing Queen Chrysalis…Of the Southern Changeling Kingdom!”

Everything in the room froze. Members of the Noble Court of Canterlot knew that name too well and a few started to panic.

“She’s come back to finish us off!” One mare screamed as she ran in circles.

“Call the guard!” A dark stallion with a monocle and top hat cried as he leapt behind his fellow nobles for cover.

“Mommy!” Shrieked a large unicorn wearing the armor of an officer as he tried to make himself look smaller, his loosely fitted armor rattling as he shook.

“SILENCE, YOU IMBECILES!” A strong male voice called. Many eyes stopped and stared at the source, a handsome white unicorn stallion with an immaculate blonde mane.

“Sit down and act your station. Running and screaming will only incite more panic in the lesser classes.” The young stallion said in a more reasonable tone.

Princess Celestia gave a thankful smile to her nephew. “Very well said, Prince Blueblood. Though be careful about calling other ponies “lesser classes” in the future.”

Blueblood merely nodded back with a faint smile on his face before turning to face the newest arrival. Suddenly a dark face with large jade eyes and a sharp, twisted, and jagged horn dominated his vision. Almost as a humorous after thought, a tiny black crown perched atop the creature’s dark green/blue mane.

“Hi.”

“Yaaah!” The young prince yelped, his voice sounding a bit higher-pitched than normal for a stallion. The Changeling Queen cackled as she drew her head back out of his personal space. Turning to the largest figure at the table she bowed her head briefly in greeting.

“You have my greetings, fair Celestia.”

“And you have mine, Chrysalis.” Intoned the Princess in a no-nonsense voice. “Please come and join us.”

“Thank you.” The Queen turned and promptly took the empty chair directly across from the Princess, one specifically reserved for the leaders of other nations.

At that moment several servants entered the room bearing dishes for the guests. The sight of the Changeling Queen was enough to unnerve even the most stoic of them. However they steeled their nerves and pressed on.

As the rest served the other guests, one waiter sidled up to the Queen. “What would you like to have for breakfast, your majesty?”

He waited in silence as the Queen’s great emerald eyes swept over him as if judging if he was a morsel even worth draining the love from.

“A chocolate doughnut and any unrequited love you might have lying around would be lovely. Perhaps some of your own.”

The pony waiter gulped as he scribbled down the order before fleeing as fast as possible, the Queen’s eyes following his every movement.

Chrysalis snuck a peek at the Princess from the corner of her eye. Yes! The regal Princess of Equestria, commonly referred to as one of the most beautiful ponies of the world was shooting her a cross look, quite unaware that the royal snout had scrunched up with her frustration.

“You should see the look on your face, Celestia! It’s priceless!” Chrysalis teased, airily waving a hoof in the Princess's direction.

Eyes widening, Celestia quickly composed herself, her royal visage quickly resuming it’s famously serene look before any pony could look.

The Changeling Queen put on a playful pout. “A shame. It was a nice change from your usual look. Don’t you agree my little ponies?”

As she spoke, green flame engulfed her head in its fiery embrace briefly before dissipating with a flourish, revealing a perfect copy of Princess Celestia’s head perched a top a slender black neck.

The copy Celestia’s face was scrunched up ridiculously, Chrysalis even going as far as to cause her eyes to wander in separate directions. It was painful to do but the response was worth it as several nobles including young Prince Blueblood suddenly found them selves simultaneously suffering fits of coughing.

Chrysalis checked the guard by the door for similar signs of mirth. No such luck. In fact the guard seemed rather livid to her. Curious, she looked to the Princess, who simply stared at her coolly.

“If you are done making me look like a fool, Queen Chrysalis, I’d like to move on to the matter of why you are here. I can only guess that you are who my sister spoke to a week ago.”

With a puff of green fire, the changeling’s head was back to normal. Chrysalis thought hard. “Luna. Luna. The name seems familiar but I can’t quite place it.” She pondered aloud, tapping her chin thoughtfully with a perforated hoof.

Disbelief shot across Celestia’s face. “Yes, my sister. Princess Luna. Raises the moon. Is currently the second oldest alicorn?”

“Aha!” Chrysalis cried. “blue coat, stars in her mane and tail? Cutie mark is a patch of dark blue with the moon? Meets in the middle with the other side, by the way. Nice flank and great kisser?”

Celestia’s smile, which had been growing wider as Chrysalis listed her little sister’s traits suddenly, fell at the last three descriptions. Instead a new reaction came to dominate her face

Chrysalis cursed. “Damn it! I knew I got that expression wrong!”

“Got what expression wrong?” Asked Princess Luna as she strode through the door. Behind her the herald tried to discreetly ascertain as to whether the Changeling Queen was correct about his other Princess’s cutie mark before a pegasus in dark armor bopped him over the head with a hoof.

Chrysalis met the Princess of the Night with a quick hug and a kiss. “Nothing much, darling. An expression your sister made earlier that I tried and failed to copy.”

Celestia’s face promptly morphed from being disgusted to horror and then finally settled on anger.

Prince Blueblood suddenly stood up. “I suddenly remembered! I left my servants on fire! Come everypony, let’s go put them out!”

Taking the Prince’s less than subtle hint, all the other nobles, dignitaries, and politicians very quickly found themselves rushing to rescue Blueblood’s servants.

After the stampede out the door ceased, Celestia finally found her voice. Standing up to her full height, her tail and mane whipping about her as if suddenly caught in hurricane force winds. Celestia’s face twisted into an ugly expression that unsettled everypony looking at it save two.

“YOU! YOU HAVE ALREADY TRIED YOUR WILES ON SHINING ARMOR AND FAILED. I WILL NOT LET YOU HAVE MY SISTER, DEMON!

Golden energy started to surround her horn as Celestia started channeling copious amounts of magic through it. Chrysalis found herself momentarily in awe at the show of magical force before flash of magc followed shortly by a loud slap caused every thing to stop.

The guards could only stare in awe as Celestia’s head rocked back from the force of the blow. Recovering quickly, she looked around. “Who dares interrupt me?!” she growled.

Another flash of magical light, distinctly blue, strobed throughout the room before another telekinetic slap landed on Celestia’s other cheek.

“L-Luna!” cried Celestia, her voice hurt and disbelieving as she instinctively backed away.

Princess Luna stood tall as she stared her big sister down. Celestia’s eyes focused on the dark figure behind her sister.

“That beast clearly has you under her power! Fight it, Luna!”

“Fight what?” came the unexpectedly bored reply.

Celestia blinked several times. “Why the Changeling Queen’s influence. She’s clearly got you under her spell.”

The Regent of the Night simply laughed at her sister prompting Chrysalis to chuckle a bit at the older pony's expense.

Her laughter dying down, Princess Luna leveled her stare at her sister. “I’m sorry, you must be mistaken me for the pony who hasn’t studied and practiced intensively to prevent mental possessions like Nightmare Moon from ever happening again. Not too mention we alicorns are resistant to spells over all.”

The solar princess’s face fell. “What?”

Princess Luna stared her sister down. "It's simple. I'm not under anypony's control. I did this under my own free will."

"But why would you do that?! You know that Changelings feed off love. This changeling is no better than a leech!"

"And who's fault is that?" exclaimed Luna accusingly. "It's not like changelings choose to eat love. The only choice they have is in how they get it. And admit it, our ponies are too xenophobic to just accept them."

Frustrated, Celestia switched tactics fixing her glare on the changeling queen. "You've certainly convinced Luna of this, but I'm not falling for it. What is it you want from this?"

The queen simply gave her a sardonic look. "Oh what a shame. However it's not like I need your permission. The only pony whose opinion matters has already agreed to this new project." With that she leaned forward to nuzzle Luna who promptly returned the gesture.

Celestia did not know what to do. What Luna said about her not being under the changeling's control was likely true. Ever since her return, the Night Princess had worked tirelessly to ensure the Mare in the Moon would never return. But still there had to be something that the changeling had done, but what was it?

Chrysalis chanced sauntering over to the white alicorn and hooking a hoof around the confused pony’s neck. “Oh don’t tell me you can’t guess from what I said earlier.”

The alicorn growled in a very unpony manner and tried to squirm away from the hug, but the changeling held on like a lamprey.

“It’s simply really. Changelings are like any creature and thus need food to survive. We changelings were unfortunate enough to need to eat love as Luna said before, but thankfully your sister was kind enough to volunteer for a new method of feeding that shouldn't put as much of a strain on ponies.”

The white alicorn quickly found herself sandwiched between Chrysalis and Luna as the latter gave her a reassuring hug. After a moment of confusion where Celestia's mind battled with her heart, she simply gave up and turned back to the changeling.

“So you’re just using my sister as food?” The pleading tone in Celestia's voice just begged that to be it and nothing more.

“There….might be a few additional benefits in it for me, sister.” Said Luna with a sheepish smile before giggling at some obscene tongue gestures Chrysalis was making at the back of her sister's head.

The Changeling on the other hoof had a mile-wide grin. With a wiggle of her flank and a sly wink, she stepped away from Celestia to stand next to the Night Princess. “Oh yes, 'benefits' indeed! Not too mention a....'healthy' working relationship!”

Princess Celestia grimaced as she put a hoof to her head, trying her best to expunge the images that tried to intrude upon her thoughts. Unbidden, the changeling's earlier comment about her sister's cutie mark came to the front of her mind, causing the alicorn to silently retch.

Chrysalis’s hoof bopped the Princess on the shoulder. “Don’t worry so much! After all this is all simply leading into my plan to start having ponies and changelings interbreed with one another!"

“Ewwww!” With a squeal of disgust and a golden flash of light, the sun princess teleported away.

Silence fell over the dining room.

"Soooooo........ how long until your sister realizes that I was messing with her and that Changelings can’t breed with ponies.”

Settling her royal posterior in her sister’s plush seat, Luna leaned forward and helped herself to Celestia's untouched pastries. “Give her a day or two. For all her experience and age, sometimes Celestia just isn’t very bright.”

Author's Note

Whew! Finally! Sorry about the wait, people, but this chapter decided to be a bitch to write! First off, no don't worry about Chrysalis and Luna's relationship taking over the story. While there might be one or two references her and there, this is still Chrysalis trolling ponies for great justice and lulz.

Chapter 4: With a little bit of help from my friends

In the depths of Canterlot Palace, the Queen of the Changelings couldn’t believe the situation she was in. Chrysalis had believed her ally and….”beneficial” friend Princess Luna was above something as childish as hazing, much less the crudeness of her methods.

Her trap was set and now she simply waited. Yes, timing was of grave importance in this matter and the Queen would not squander her chance when she got it. Muffled voices grew near, Luna’s was among them. Wait for it…

***

“How could you fail to pull of the most basic prank, Duskwing?” The Princess of the Night’s voice thundered as she walked with her guards. “Surely planting a whoopee cushion where the Queen was going to sit isn’t a challenge for a guard of your caliber.”

The guard hung his head. “I planted the cushion appropriately during dinner, however your sister saw me and used her magic to banish it.”

The Night Princess frowned. The cushion had somehow found it’s way onto her royal throne without her looking last night, embarrassing her immensely at the start of Night Court. It hadn’t helped that Chrysalis had been in attendance to help relieve tension between the noble ponies about the upcoming peace with changelings.

Despite the Queen’s great amusement at her misfortune, Luna knew who the real prankster was and that this particular pony was probably sitting in her chambers still laughing.

The Princess was still thinking of ways to get back at her sister when the nearby closet sprung upon and a great black shape sprung at them, cackling wildly.

***

The next morning the murmur of a growing crowd outside the gates awoke Princess Celestia. With a groan, the Princess pried herself from her bed. Sounded like a big crowd today. After her morning ritual of a bagel and raising the sun, Celestia made her way to the dining room for breakfast. Upon opening the door and taking one look inside, she suddenly felt the urge to simply turn around and fore go breakfast for a day.

“Tia, come on in!” echoed Luna’s voice from the room. Reason number one Celestia wanted to avoid breakfast for a change. She was sure Luna was cooking up some scheme to get back at her for that prank during Night Court.

“Yes, please! Your sister can’t seem to grasp the concept of Strip Poker very well. I’m sure you could give her a few pointers!” snarked a second voice.

Reason number two Celestia didn’t wish to go in, the bug queen herself was in attendance. Together the two were a potent combo. Not two days ago three of her most decorated officers were found in a closet, quite green in the face. Apparently three Changeling guards and three Lunar guards had cornered them and “dutch ovened” them inside the closet. She had no clue what it meant, but if the slight scent that clung to the three were any indication, she really didn’t want to know.

As it was it revealed a new trend that she found both encouraging and distressing at the same time: the Lunar Guards and the Changeling Praetorians were bonding. If her Solar Guard were included she wouldn’t have minded so much, but it seemed as if the tensions caused by the wedding invasion were still present.

The queen’s voice interrupted her train of thought.

“Hey! Sunbutt, get your carcass in here!”

“Chrysalis! Manners!”

Celestia shook her head and promptly opened the door completely. Both Chrysalis and Luna were present a deck of cards between them, but neither wore any clothing. Hesitantly she stepped through the door. No “water over the door” trick.

“You two need to be wearing clothing for strip poker.” She said calmly.

Luna looked thoughtful. “But we don’t wear clothes normally. The most we wear are our regalia and our tiaras and that’s it.”

The Changeling Queen simply looked bored. “You know what? This was a daft idea. Let’s go get that thing we talked about last night done.

The younger alicorn brightened up. “Oh really!? Yes! So who goes first”

Chrysalis merely smiled. “I’ll tell you once we get some place more private.”

Princess Celestia had tried her best to edge away as stealthily as possible for somepony her size and stature and even made it as far as the door before she was detected. “You two sound busy, so I’ll just-mmph!”

The Princess’s mouth was suddenly closed by a blue aura. Soon a series of blue and green tendrils of magic immobilized her as well.

“Before we start anything, is there anything you want to impress upon your dear sister?” asked the large changeling gleefully as she watched the larger sister frantically try to communicate with her sister through an elaborate display of eyebrow waggling.

Luna, having missed her class on eyebrow semaphore, simply shrugged. “Not really. Nothing too bad at least, but enough to make up for that prank last night.”

The Queen looked thoughtful, tapping a chitinous hoof on her chin. “How about we make the legend of Molestia live again for one day.”

Celestia’s eyes practically bugged out as the two leaned in to begin their spellwork, fiendish grins plastered across their faces. Resigning herself to her fate, she closed her eyes.

On the outskirts of the town of Ponyville, an alicorn and a changeling queen hid beneath a veil of magic as they conspired against the owner of the quant cottage beneath a hill. A butter yellow pegasus flitted about, feeding and grooming an entire menagerie of pets. The larger of the two stalkers smiled. Her information was spot on.

A patter of hooves heralded the arrival of her specifically chosen changelings for this prank. Shapeshifting specialists. Most changelings learned how to shift into a pony and left it at that. These four changelings took the ability to transform and made it into an art. The Queen didn't want to admit it, but this quartet could probably teach her a thing or two about transformations.

Five flashes of acidic green fire and instead of the Changeling Queen and her team of changelings, there stood a prim and elegant white unicorn who’s dress and attire spoke of noble upbringing. In her magic she held the leashes to four basset hounds who were sniffing the area, their ears and jowls dragging on the ground.

“Come, my pets, we have work to do!” proclaimed the unicorn in the Queen’s voice. Four canine heads nodded in unison.

***

It was about midday, right after Fluttershy had made sure all her little friends had eaten their lunches when the knock on her door came. After a short delay in which Angel Bunny had rallied her birds to help extract her from the rafters, the timid pony opened the door just a crack, revealing a tall posh looking unicorn mare with a white coat and standing on the other side. She was currently adjusting her stylish navy blue mane in a mirror when the door cracked open.

“H-hello?” Fluttershy stammered from behind the door.

“Ah! Good Afternoon,” said the unicorn, dismissing the mirror, “I’m looking for a Miss…..Flute-orshy?”

“It’s Fluttershy.” Whispered the pony.

The unicorn flicked an ear with a hoof before rotating it towards the pony “I beg your pardon? I couldn’t understand you.”

“I said my name is Fluttershy.” Came the reply, only marginally louder.

The disguised Queen stifled a huff of annoyance. She decided to just go with what she already knew. “Oh! Oh! Fluttershy! My apologies, my dear.”

The shy pegasus gave a faint smile. At least she didn’t have to shout like she normally did to have her name heard. “Th-that’s fine. How can I help you?”

Her answer came in the form of a loud bass woof from the outside. The unicorn’s horn flared pink as she tugged on four leashes.

Curious at the dog’s barking, Fluttershy opened the door up a bit more to reveal the low-set, long-eared forms of basset hounds. Her fear dispersed as she came from behind the door. In a flash the four hounds were in front of her sniffing her hooves, wings, and one adventurous dog even tried to sniff her tail before the unicorn pulled him back with a sharp reprimand.

“Bate! Bad dog! You do not sniff ponies there, understand?!” The hound hung his head and gave a soft whine.

The unicorn’s face softened as she scratched behind his ears, setting the dog’s tail to thumping on the ground. “There, there. Be a good boy and behave while mama talks to the nice mare.”

Fluttershy was impressed. This pony knew how to handle her dogs well. “Oh it’s fine, he’s just curious.”

Chrysalis had to fight hard not to arch her eyebrow at that statement. Clearing her throat, she explained. “I’m in town for the day, but a lot of my business will have me running from shop to shop so I need some place to leave my babies while I’m gone for three hours. I heard you were a pony with a gift for handling animals so I came here. Could you please look out for them?”

The unicorn fixed a pleading look on Fluttershy, one that was enhanced by her dogs joining in. Fluttershy, a pony who is routinely walked on by her own pet rabbit, never stood a chance.

“I’d be happy to look after them, Miss…?”

“Love”

“What are their names?” asked Fluttershy as she petted the dogs on their heads.

Chrysalis smiled. Hook, line, and sinker. Pointing a hoof at each, she gave each of her changelings a code name. “You’ve met Bate. The three in front of you are Larry, Curly, and Moe.”

Pretending to check the sun, Chrysalis started. “Oh! Look at the time! I must be off! Now these four usually like a nap after eating and then are very energetic afterwards so be careful of that. Don’t let them roll in anything as I just had their coats cleaned as well! I’ll be back in three hours! Goodbye, my darlings!”

With that, the pony left. If Fluttershy had watched her long enough, she would have seen a green flash of light. However at that moment, the dogs started baying.

“Oh my! You must be hungry! Let’s get you some food.”

Later, after they had eaten, Fluttershy checked in on the snoozing dogs, smiling as a leg or ear twitched. As Ms. Love had said, the darlings had fallen asleep shortly after eating. When they awoke, the pegasus planned on curtailing their excess energy with a nice walk.

Watching the dogs for a short time, Fluttershy did her best to try and tell them apart, but found it unusually hard with these dogs. Normally she could identify individual animals fairly well, but Bate was the only one she could recognize with his white paws. Larry, Curly, and Moe were all a uniform brown so Fluttershy guessed they were from the same litter.

Thinking the dogs were settled, Fluttershy sat down for a nice cup of tea and some light reading. Before too long, with the aid of a warm sunbeam, she curled up and fell asleep.

***

“WOOF!” The loud bark shattered the peaceful doze Fluttershy had fallen into. As she slowly woke up, a frantic frenzy of other sounds assaulted her ears.

As she had been fearfully expecting, utter chaos awaited Fluttershy upon her return to the waking world. Birds flitted back and forth madly as four lowslung blurs raced around the house at top speed, careening around the rooms as fast as their stubby legs would take them, barking wildly the entire way.

Fluttershy’s pet rabbit, Angel Bunny, lead a small stampede of squirrels, mice, and other small critters as they tried to escape from their hyperactive doom. It was unfortunate for them that the hounds seemed to figure out what they were up to and started chasing them from different directions each time the small herd of animals got close to a window or door.

In the frenzy, Angel got turned around enough that he found himself staring down the long snout of one of the dogs. Before the dog could do anything, Fluttershy’s voice finally rose above the din.

“Bate! You leave that bunny alone!”

The dog looked at Fluttershy and back at the bunny several times as if deciding to continue his mischief or behave.

Feeling awful about having to do so, the pegasus leaned forward to unleash her last resort: The Stare! It came as a rather large surprise to her that instead of whimpering and whining, the dog instead chose to give her face a big wet lick, forcing her to close her eyes or get dog slobber in them.

Before Fluttershy could further enforce her will on the recalcitrant dog, a crash came from the neighboring room. Giving the basset one last look, the pegasus went to see if she could prevent any further destruction of her home.

As she got close to the room the noises were coming from, the door burst open as Angel’s army of small critters camp scampering out. Hot on their tails, came the other dogs who decided to go through the door at the same time, resulting in thrashing three dog pile up. After a moment, they finally disentangled themselves only to have an upset pegasus confront them.

“Larry, Curly, and Moe! You are being very naughty dogs! Sit down and be quiet!”

As if on cue, the hounds sat down at the exact same time. “Good. Now stay there while I get Bate.”

The pegasus wasn’t sure if they would listen, but as she rounded up the fourth hound and came back, she was pleasantly surprised to see them still waiting for her.

“Good boys!” She congratulated them on obedience with scratches behind their ears. As flustered as she was with the animals, she couldn’t stay mad at them. After all, Ms. Love did say they would be hyper after a nap and she had been featherbrained enough to fall asleep instead of attending to them.

“I’m so sorry about this. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep while I had guests.”

The dogs looked at one another as if confused.

“But I know what you really need is a nice walk!”

This was met by four wagging tails.

“Good! Let me get your leashes.”

***

Outside, after Fluttershy got the dog’s leashes, she noticed their naps had taken well past the two-hour mark. It would only be a little while before Ms. Love would be back to collect her dogs.

Seeing no need to make the pony come to her, Fluttershy decided to end their walk in Ponyville.

Taking their leashes into her mouth after placing them on the dog’s collars, the pegasus gave them a slight tug to get the dog’s attentions.

“Come on, boys, let’s go for a walk!”

The pegasus couldn’t help but feel her stomach drop as the dogs seemed to look at one another and nod once.

“Um…Let’s go eas-YEEEEEEEE!”

Before she could finish her sentence, the dogs took off like a team of four-legged rockets. The lightweight pegasus knew she didn’t stand a chance so instead of allowing herself to be dragged over the ground, she spread her wings.

Noticing they now had a pony-shaped kite, the hounds thundered over the bridge in front of her house dragging the hapless Fluttershy along with them.

“S-slow down please!” Fluttershy managed to say around the leashes in her mouth. The dogs paid no attention this time as they raced ahead. Fluttershy found herself having to dodge tree branches more and more often as the dogs raced along the road.

“I said please slow do-Oof!”

Brushing twigs and leaves from her face, Fluttershy finally descended trailing her hooves along the dirt road to help her slow down. Thankfully, the dogs seemed to have used up their energy somewhat and slowed down as well.

Finally able to coax them into stopping, Fluttershy walked up to the line of dogs. “You really shouldn’t drag ponies along like that. It’s very rude and mean.”

The dogs hung their heads bashfully. “There, there. I know you wanted some exercise. Let’s just go at a slower pace.”

As the dogs nodded, she felt at ease. The upside is the dogs had towed her right to the outskirts of Ponyville and the time limit was almost up.

She enjoyed animals, but these four were more than a hooffull and she had other animals to take care of.

“Howdy, Fluttershy!”

Confused and a little surprised to hear her name, Fluttershy turned and looked up the dirt road she had just came from. Sheepishly she remembered the road ran alongside Sweet Apple Acres and a very familiar pony was trotting towards them.

“Oh! Hi, Applejack! I wasn’t expecting to run into you. How are things at the farm?”

The farm pony trotted up next to her. “They’re going good. I’m headin’ to town to fetch a farrier. Big Mac managed to throw a shoe, pulling up a big ole tree stump.”

Fluttershy gasped “Oh my! Sounds painful.”

The cowpony shook her head. “Not really. More inconvenient than anything. Anyway, who are your new friends?”

Fluttershy started. A quick glance showed her three very bored looking bassets. The last was inspecting something on the ground. “Oh how rude of me! Applejack, this is Larry, Curly, Moe and- BATE, DON’T ROLL IN THAT!”

Flutteshy finally realized what the small pile on the ground was and realized the dog’s intentions. Time seemed to slow down as the hound flopped on his back to roll over onto the pile. During that timeless moment Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice how pristine and glossy his coat looked. Without thinking she launched herself at the dog, intending to prevent him from rolling in that.

Splat

As time seemed to speed back up, Fluttershy noticed two things. One was aside from a little dust, the groomed coat of the dog in her hooves was clean. The second was a sensation of something heavy and moist clinging to the fur on her chest.

“Fluttershy! Why in tarnation did you go and do that?!” Applejack scolded as she walked up to her friend. She looked about for a towel. Seeing none, she sighed.

“Let’s get you to th’ farmhouse and cleaned up.”

Fluttershy’s lip quivered. “B-but I’m supposed to meet somepony in town! These are her dogs I’m looking after!”

Applejack gave her a flat look. “You want to town with that on you?”

Fluttershy looked embarrassed. “Well….no, but-“

“But it won’t be necessary, my dear.” A third voice finished.

Both ponies turned to look at the unicorn trotting up the road. Larry, Curly, and Moe were already by her side.

“Ms. Love! I was just coming to meet you!”

“It looks like we’ll just have to meet halfway then,” teased the noble pony. Her eyes widened upon seeing the stain on the pegasus’s chest.

“I saw the whole thing from down the road. I’m so sorry for Bate’s behavior. Let me get that for you.”

A flash of pale pink magic removed the offending stink and stain.

Ms. Love reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a small bag of bits. “Here’s a some bits for your service, Ms. Fluttershy. I hope they weren’t too much trouble.”

Taking the bag Fluttershy found herself in a unique position for once. Did she tell the nice mare her pets were a right hooffull?

In the end she found herself shaking her head. “Not at all. If anything, I’ve gotten a little rusty when dealing with dogs, especially with ones with a lot of energy. Bring them back any time!”

The unicorn flashed her a radiant smile. “I just might do that, Miss. Fluttershy!”

Waving farewell, the unicorn trotted off with her dogs.

After watching until the unicorn disappeared up the road, Applejack turned to her friend. “Did you really just dive into a pile of poop for a dog?

Author's Note

What did Luna and Chrysalis do to Celestia as well as what Chrysalis did to Luna? Find out next chapter!

Sorry for the wait, basically had to switch gears and restart since I basically couldn't think of any good pranks for Twilight outside of letter spam. If you have any ideas for some good fresh pranks to pull on a specific pony, feel free to PM them to me. Make sure they aren't too risque or sadistic.

Chapter 5: High class, no class

It had been a couple days since the prank on Fluttershy and the changeling queen stewed over that apparent failure the entire time. Even now, Queen Chrysalis was not in a good mood. As she saw it, any sort of victory claimed over the Element of Kindness just felt.... empty. The fact the meek pegasus was the ultimate doormat had everything to do with this.

“I don’t get it,” the Queen growled as she lounged about Princess's Luna’s private chambers, a privilege that angered more than a few guards.

Speaking to the other occupant in the room, the queen rambled on. “I mean I should at least feel some satisfaction, but I've got nothing here. She has to act so innocent about the whole thing, the little foal. Kinda like punching a sock to show your strength.”

She paused to flick a dark blue and red striped sock with a hoof to illustrate her point.

Stopping next to the four poster bed, the changeling held a hoof to the side of her head in mock despair. “I almost feel as if I’ve lost my touch. The poor dear was just too easy a target and yet I held back. I won't be making that mistake again!"

She stomped a holey black hoof on the bed to emphasize her point.

"Thats why I'm moving to move on to my next target tomorrow: The Element of Generosity, Miss Rarity!"

Chrysalis waited a moment for Princess Luna's reaction to her new choice of targets. Getting none, she moved on.

"My sources say she has very high standards, impeccable manners, and is trying her best to climb the social ladder. She should be a fun one. What do you think, Luna?...Luna?!"

A loud snore answered her followed by the sound of sheets shifting as the alicorn sleepily shuffled about for a more comfortable position.

Oblivious to the changeling's question, the princess reached a questing hoof reached out and grabbed a small stuffed pony that had fallen to the side of the bed. It was a plush version of her sister, something the Queen had found very odd until she checked the night before to see if Celestia had one of Luna. She did. (1)

Finally clued in by Luna’s snoring that the princess had fallen asleep during her explanation as to why she was in Luna’s room in the first place, the queen gave the sleeping pony a hard look. As her plans for that little priss Rarity crystallized in her mind, that look was quickly replaced by a sly grin that spread across Chrysalis’s face, exposing her fangs.

Acting on impulse, the changeling cocked an ear towards the unconscious pony. “What’s that, Luna? You want to help me with my next prank? You're such a dear for offering! Of course you can help!”

With a cackle, she grabbed the sleeping princess with her forehooves. “Come, Luna, we have work to do!”

Woken by the movement and the changeling’s voice, the alicorn struggled feebly in Chrysalis’s grasp, her front hooves reaching out pitifully towards her warm bed. “Nngrhl. Sleepy!”

With a flash of light, Chrysalis rendered the two of them invisible. No guards ever noticed the balcony door opening nor heard the droning of wings fading away.

***

It had been a rather boring morning for a certain white unicorn. Despite opening early this morning, Carousel Boutique had seen far less than its usual amount of customers.

Rarity, the Element of Generosity and up and coming fashion designer, was split on whether she should start working on a personal project when she might get interrupted while in “the zone” or stay or continue to wait for potential customers.

She never got the chance to decide however as somepony decided right then to start knocking.

“Co-ming!” She sang out as she trotted to the door. On the other side stood a large dapper looking unicorn stallion, who immediately tipped his hat to her.

“Might I have the honor of speaking with Lady Rarity?” He asked in a deep cultured voice.

“Of course, my dear” she answered demurely, offering a hoof. “How may I help you, sir?”

Kissing her hoof, the stallion looked up at her. “I'm finding myself in need of a new suit to attend a formal function in Canterlot tomorrow evening. I'll pay top bit for it to be ready by noon tomorrow!”

“And I'll tell everypony who designed it.” He added with a sly smile and a wink.

Rarity’s mind screeched to a halt. That was an awfully short deadline, but the chance to get in even better with the nobility of Canterlot was too tempting to resist.

“How could I say no to such a generous offer? I'll have it done by noon tomorrow!”

“Excellent!” the stallion beamed. “I'll be here on the dot tomorrow!”

After he left, the fashionista quickly got to work, levitating several rolls of dark cloth to stand next to one of her stallion shaped mannequins. She had barely begun to drape lengths of the cloth over the back to see which looked better when another knock came at the door.

“Oh my, another customer so soon?” She wondered aloud. Sure enough, another rather posh looking pony was standing on the doorstep. This one was an earth pony mare she had seen once or twice amongst Fancypants entourage.

“Ah, good evening, my dear! How my I help you?”

The mare shot her smile back. “Good day miss Rarity! I take it you've heard of this formal function in Canterlot? Well, I’ve been invited and I simply must have a new dress. Could you be a dear and design one for me?”

“Well, I-“

“Oh thank you, dear! I’ll be by tomorrow for it! Since you already have my measurements, I must be going! Taaaa!”

With that the mare left, oblivious to the shocked look on the fashionista’s face.

“Oh my!”

***

And so Rarity’s day went. At least two more ponies would enter her boutique; place their orders and then leave. Every single order was for the same high class function in Canterlot the next afternoon. With four orders due the very next day, sleep wasn’t an option.

The determined unicorn worked right through the night just so she could even come close to meeting her deadline. Morning long past with the Sun nearing it’s daytime peak, a final knock came at the door. One eye twitched slightly as Rarity called back. “Sorry, but I’m really busy right now. Please come back later!”

The knocking continued. It wasn’t the usual polite knock, but a deep insistent pounding that made it all but impossible to concentrate.

Her nerves already frayed from the lack of sleep and the constant work, Rarity’s usually immaculate demeanor slipped. "Yet another distraction!" she thought as she stormed towards the entrance. Positively seething, she ripped the door open with a ferocity that threatened to tear it from its hinges.

“WHAT?! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PONIES?!” She bellowed in a distinctly un-lady like manner. Before she could say anything else, the unicorn found herself having a dodge a metal covered hoof.

“Watch it, you heavy-hooved oaf! What is so important that you foals must interrupt me while I’m…I'm”

The fashionista’s voice trailed off into a whimper as she realized she was face to face with Princess Luna. The alicorn raised a dubious eyebrow at the unicorn’s choice of words.

“P-Princess! I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize it was you! I…I..”

Words failed Rarity for the extent of her blunder. Rudeness to either Princess was heavily frowned upon no matter what social circles you were in. The fact that Princess Luna tended to be more strict about social boundaries than her sister had Rarity sweating under her coat. Her tongue seemed to have dried up as well because all she could say were garbled nonsense.

Finally the proud alicorn looming over her broke the silence, her expression warming up a bit.

“Think nothing of it, Miss Rarity.” Said the Princess, interrupting Rarity’s ongoing attempts to apologize despite her mutinying tongue. “I have simply come to ask a favor of you."

Princess Luna leaned in conspiratorially. "Also if you want any tips on shouting, I can give you some advice: Shout from your belly. Creates a nice loud and constant tone."

The Princess shifted back and gave her a wink.

Blushing at Luna's joke, Rarity pondered the royal's words. A favor for the Princess? She nodded for Luna to continue.

A blue glow emanated from the Princess's horn as she pulled the remains of what must have been a truly beautiful dress from her saddlebags. Rarity’s face fell as she pieced together where this was going.

“Could you please repair this dress for me? It was my favorite one ages past. Sadly my transformation to Nightmare Moon wasn’t very kind to it.”

There was no saying no. Rarity shot a smile to the Princess, but on the inside she was crying.

***

After Princess Luna left, Rarity bolted back inside to continue her work at an even greater pace. The Princess’s visit had cost her precious minutes. On top of that, the repair job needed to be ready by that evening as well. The one upside was that repairing Luna’s dress was considerably easier than making up a whole new dress.

It wasn't until well over an hour into the repair job that it finally hit Rarity: The stallion had missed the deadline! Not just him, but the other ponies as well! The exasperated pony didn’t know what to think. Perhaps they were simply late or did something happen?

Still, she continued working. A commission was a commission and she had never failed a customer. Besides the commissions were nearly complete. After Luna’s departure, the Princess’s dress had taken priority. While repairing was faster than making a new dress as she had reasoned earlier, it didn’t help Rarity one bit that Nightmare Moon’s enormous frame had pretty much shredded portions of the dress, forcing her to get creative.

***

Finally the Sun started to tip towards the horizon, filling the sky with orange tones. Despite the failing light, the bedraggled pony soldiered on, putting the final touches on all the the commissioned suits and dresses. Rarity had barely sat down to rest when suddenly the shadows filling the the boutique seemed to shiver and undulate before suddenly converging to form a whirling pool of darkness. Stepping majestically out of it, Princess Luna looked to see the effect of her entrance had on her one pony audience. Nothing. A look of complete and utter apathy adorned the exhausted pony’s face.

“I have your dress ready, your majesty.” Said Rarity in a tired, yet triumphant voice as she gestured to the masterpiece adorning one of her larger mannequins, ones she had bought in the hopes this day would come.

Princess Luna could only stare in awe at the unicorn's work. “It’s perfect, dear Rarity!”

“It’s nothing, your highness.”

"No!" The Princess’s voice took a firm tone, the boutique shaking as she stomped a hoof to emphasize her point. “It’s NOT nothing! You’ve done an excellent job in restoring my favorite dress, something that means a great deal to me. In fact I have a reward!”

“ A reward?” Rarity echoed in an empty tone. That sounded appealing. Maybe it was a nap. She would do just about anything for a nice long nap right now. That would be lovely.

“Yes! In fact I’m personally inviting you to the first Canterlot Four Season Ball! It’s tonight and you shall accompany me!”

The unicorn’s blood froze in her veins. Attend a Royal Ball?! Normally she’d be ecstatic, but on top of not being ready in general, being really tired, and her mane in dire need of attention, she didn’t even have a dress for herself. And she'd never caught dead at any high class function without one of her creations. She was sorry but she had to let the Princess down just this once.

“I’d love to but I simply cannot make it tonight, Princess.” She said, steeling her self for the Princess's dire disapproval. What she got was something she hadn't expected.

Luna simply gave her a look reminiscent of the sad puppy routine Sweetie Belle used on her whenever she wanted something. Naturally, Rarity had believed herself hardened against this type of tactic, but she’d never anticipated having to withstand this look from a Princess! Those sad pretty blue eyes! She had no choice and gave in to the inevitable.

“Alright! I’ll go, but I need something to wear!”

The sad looking alicorn immediately brightened up. “Somepony was generous enough to have something ready for you. It’s at the palace now.”

“Excellent!” Rarity beamed. “Now I simply have to take a bath as well as wash, condition, and finally brush my hair. I should be ready in about..”

*bamf*

The unicorn looked about. The two of them were no longer in her slightly messy shop. Now they were in a lavishly ornate room with a high vaulted ceiling. Ponies in expensive suits and dresses trotted sedately across the floor or danced with a partner to the orchestral music playing in the background. Rarity recognized one of the players. Octavia, the cellist, stood out. It was the Canterlot Orchestra.

Rarity didn't need an explanation for what had happened. Apparently Princess Luna was not a very patient pony.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rarity noted the Princess was now resplendent in her restored dress. The Princess in turn studied Rarity. In fact several other high class ponies were looking at her with puzzled looks on their faces. Finally Luna spoke.

"How odd. The dress I was told to give you seems to have shifted."

Looking down, Rarity immediately froze in horror as she saw what she was wearing. It was truly horrible! The plain design practically seared her eyes, the message was both alien and infuriating in both meaning and the fact it lacked proper grammar! Then there was that beastly face! And the smile! Rarity felt a shiver run down her spine at the mere thought of it's mocking, rage inducing smile. but the absolute worse thing was....it was a t-shirt!

The unicorn let out a terrified shriek before fainting away. Sadly the couch did not make it in time as it was held up at the door by the Royal Guards, their reason very clear. "Invitation only!"

Princess Luna could only watch as the Element of Generosity lay prone on the floor wearing nothing more than a plain black t-shirt with the phrase U MAD? underneath a grotesque face with an immense grin. Luna froze. She knew that symbol and only one pony over the ages used it. For it to be present on a shirt reeking of the Queen's magic meant that.....

Luna's eyes widened in fear.

Author's Note

In fact the proud Celestia actually had several other plush ponies as well, including an entire set of the Elements of Harmony.

The fact Celestia was hugging the Luna doll when the changeling snuck in was creepy and yet kind of sweet, though not sweet enough to prevent Chrysalis from bewitching all the dolls to have the head of Discord making the ugliest and fiercest grimace she could think of. Being chased through Celestia’s chambers by the princess was totally worth seeing the look on Celestia’s face when she woke up and saw the changeling’s work.

AN: Sorry for the long wait, but much like how the fat kid holds up the lunch line, Destination: Equestria needed an update first. On top of that, June and July seem to be a creative dead zone for me as this wait happened last year. I'll try to get it to you guys faster.

Chapter 6: Egomania pt 1

Ponies looked up in awe as a low echoing roar cut through the buzz of every day Ponyville life. High above the sleepy village, highlighted against the high soaring clouds, a brilliant rainbow contrail split the sky.

Even though it was a common occurrence, many ponies found themselves ceasing whatever they were doing to watch the head weather manager as fast as the single colorful trail suddenly erupted into a head spinning display of aerial acrobatics. Even some of the town's many resident pegasi looked on in awe as they watched the chromatic blur pull maneuvers they would never dare to do. When the pony high above finally completed her exercises, she ended her practice with a heart stopping nose dive that ended with a last second pull out that had ponies gasping in shock or the cases of a few of the less faithful, covering their eyes.

As the pegasus finally set touched down to the adoring cheers of her fans and the not so adoring scowls of a few mothers, Rainbow Dash nonchalantly rubbed her chest with a hoof, feeling the spot where a few strands of fur had been painfully pulled out as they snagged on the cobblestone street. Her last-minute pull up had truly been last minute. A few microseconds more and she would have cannoned into the street with less than awesome results. She would need to pull up sooner to give herself a greater margin of error. Partially because she didn't want to get hurt, but also because Rainbow did not want to deal with the doctor's teasing her about stealing any more books. It happened once, dangit! Besides, she already owned most of the series now anyway.

Just as the boastful mare flashed a winning smile to her fans and waving a gracious hoof, a rolled up newspaper descended upon her quickly inflating head and ego with a loud smack.

"Ow! Hey what gives?!" Rainbow squawked as she ducked another strike from the vengeful newspaper. Doing so brought her face to face with the animate newspaper's wielder, a particularly irate lavender alicorn.

"Rainbow Dash, what have I said about practicing over the town?!" snapped Twilight Sparkle. The newly crowned princess jabbed the newspaper forward with the skill of a practice fencer, stopping just short of ramming the help wanted section up Rainbow's nose.

The blue pegasus shrank back in the face of such a fiercely armed foe, raising her fore hooves placatingly. "Um...tooooo...not do it?" She asked, hoping it was the right answer. The newspaper shot forward and upward, giving her ears a sharp flick. "Ow!"

"Yes!" Twilight exclaimed. "You need to practice outside of town! The risk of hurting somepony else is just too high! I know I can't stop you from practicing completely, but you can't do it here!"

"Ahem."

Both ponies turned at the sound, becoming aware that the entire square was looking at them. One beat later and the town slowly turned it's attention back to what it had been doing as the pony who had cleared her throat so pointedly stepped forward. Rainbow and Twilight instantly recognized the speaker as Mrs. Cake, co-proprietor of Sugar Cube Corner and Pinkie's employer. The pudgy blue earth pony with the hot pink mane, nudged her stick of a husband as she spoke.

"I hope you don't mind us saying so, Ms. Dash,, but would you please do as the Princess says?"

Here her husband spoke up, encouraged by his wife's example. "We're kinda worried that your stunts might inspire some of the young ones to try some of your tricks and end up getting hurt."

Rainbow Dash, still itching to fly, did not appreciate being teamed up of on by a friend and a couple she barely knew outside of Pinkie.

"Ok, while I hadn't thought of that, just how far out of town do you want me to go?" She waved a hoof towards the horizon. "I mean I was already pretty far up, (and technically outside of Ponyville's airspace) and anywhere I practice outside of town will likely be just as visible!"

Before the Cakes could speak again, Twilight laid a hoof on Mrs. Cake's shoulder. "I'm sorry, but she is right about that. But still..." She turned her attention back to Rainbow. "Do you think you could practice your less flashy and dangerous moves near Ponyville and save the rest for when you head back to the Wonderbolts Academy?" she asked with a winning smile.

The cyan pegasus narrowed her eyes at the alicorn. While they were friends, the "Princess" had a very bad habit of conveniently forgetting certain details and Rainbow was just the pony to jar her memory. "Sure thing, Twilight!"

Twilight's smile turned brittle as Rainbow finished. "Just as soon as you stop practicing your magic in the library in the middle of town."

The alicorn's eyes bulged as she sputtered out a quick defense. "W-what?! Wait, my magic isn't.."

"What caused me to try care of Fluttershy's pets and almost getting eaten?" asked Rainbow as she floated past her friend's head. Her only answer was a grumpy snort. "Seriously, Twilight, lighten up!"

"I can't just lighten up, Rainbow. I'm trying to be serious here!" Twilight retorted angrily, her tail lashing angrily. Unknown to her and the pegasus, the Cakes slowly edged away, not wanting to get caught up in the argument.

"So am I!" Rainbow's response was somewhat undermined due to her being upside down as she floated past again. "My stunts are no more dangerous than casting unfinished spells in the middle of town."

Twilight closed her mouth. Rainbow had a point. She had been careless and not a little arrogant, thinking that speaking a magic spell aloud when six of the most potent magical artifacts in Equestria were in the room would not have any repercussions. It was an incredibly foolish mistake, one that turned the entire town upside down. "I-I guess that's true. But can you at least not practice directly over Ponyville?"

"I would, but I can't. The Cirrus Race course is being set up in the fields I usually practice in and the only other place is over the Everfree forest and I still have to practice my speed runs." Rainbow paused. "Speaking of which aren't you the Princess that was invited to attend this time?"

Twilight couldn't help but blush. "Well yes. It seems both the Princesses are quite busy with something in Canterlot and are not able to attend. So the race organizers invited me! Are you in the race?"

Rainbow dropped to the ground, posing as if she were waiting at the starting line already. "Are you kidding?! What race would be complete without the fastest pony in Equestria?!"

Right as she proclaimed this, a very light gray pony with a long flowing mane of sea-green hair trotted by, Rainbow Dash's bragging echoing through her ears, her mind, and finally into her queen's head.

In far away Canterlot, in a dark and secluded guest room, a long, black chitin-covered ear pricked up. It's owner, a tall, thin, insectal equine, turned her head to gaze out of the window towards Ponyville as if she herself had heard the pegasus's claims. Her mouth split into a wicked fang-filled smile.

"Oh my, it looks like we have a volunteer."

Across the palace, an alicorn found herself in the royal medical facilities. She was not there for herself but for a friend who had selflessly helped her out only to fall a victim of fashion sabotage. Princess Luna couldn't help but feel guilty for her part in these events, however small it was.

Still she knew it was miss Rarity's nature to over dramatize, but having the unicorn actually pass out after seeing the final stage of Queen Chrysalis's prank did not feel good at all. After Luna had moved her to a more private room in the dance hall, the unicorn woke up from her first faint, and immediately took a pair of scissors Luna supplied to her t-shirt with that ghastly face on it with a vengeance.

Before long the savage snipping and snapping took it's toll on the offensive shirt but as it fell away from Rarity's body, green sparks had shot from the fabrics as it shifted and warped until the remains of an elegant and very expensive dress made of high quality black silk fluttered to the floor. Luna would later recognize it as the same dress Chrysalis had originally gifted to the unicorn.
Seeing the damage she had unknowingly inflicted, Rarity had wavered for an instant, before dropping like a sack of potatoes as opposed to her graceful and dramatic swooning from earlier, forcing the princess to catch her before she hit the stone floor.

Now Luna found herself not only with an unconscious unicorn, but with a report of the first arrest of a piece of furniture with two charges of attempted breaking and entering. As the dark blue alicorn turned her attention to the newly arrived doctor, she swore to have every member of the Royal Guard screened for incompetence.

"Doctor, will she be ok?"

At the Princess's question, the tan stallion look up from his notes. "Oh yes, your highness. She's simply had a few shocks today so she really only needs some rest. She should be fine in a matter of hours.

The alicorn nodded her head before turning to leave. "I'll shall leave her in your care for now."

***

While she normally didn't much care for what most ponies thought of her and her changelings, Chrysalis was not going to push her luck with the blue alicorn. One look at the princess's face told her that Luna was still concerned about the white unicorn and tactfully kept her mouth shut. Shifting her form back to the form of a white unicorn mare with a dark blue mane and tail, the Queen sought out her only other source of information: Princess Celestia.

Granted it was daytime, meaning that the majestic "Shepherd of Light" would have her white flank installed on her throne. This meant that she'd have to catch the Princess as she left for lunch....or was it brunch? So the disguised changeling simply lingered near the hallway, studying the Royal Throne. It was a behemoth of a chair. High-back and perched upon a terraced platform, one couldn't help but stare at it. The queen's own throne was an ancient wooden affair that she had pulled out of an abandoned castle at the edge of the gryphon kingdoms. That or this weird pink puffball. Bizarre thing had a tendency to shuffle about on occasion.

Eventually the trumpets sounded, signalling a recess for lunch. The changeling didn't quite understand why lunch must be announced with complete fanfare, but all that mattered was it helped drag her from a light doze in time to catch the princess as she made for the hallway. However as she closed, a guard stepped forward to accost her.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you'll need to wait until after lunch," he said, trotting up to put a hoof on her shoulder. None were more surprised than he when a fierce green glow surrounded his leg, stopping it a surely as any wall.

"Oh don't mind me," smirked the unicorn, as she allowed an unsettling reverb in her voice to give her identity to the observant. Thankfully the pony just behind the nervous guard was one such pony.

"Queen Chrysalis." Celestia greeted her. The changeling could have sworn she saw the guard go pale under his enchanted white fur. "Will you be honoring us with your presence for lunch?"

Despite her manners, Celestia's tone very clearly gave away her opinion on the manner. Chrysalis only momentarily played with the though of doing just that if only to nettle the Princess. Sadly she had other engagements to make for a certain raonbow pegasus.

"I'm only here for information on the pegasus known as Rainbow Dash. She is next in line for one of my little pranks."

The white alicorn could only sigh in resignation. If she didn't give the information the queen wanted, it'd undermine Luna's efforts to end the tensions between ponies and changelings. She could only hope Rainbow would understand how important that was for Equestria. Plus if what the lands newest Princess had said was true in her latest letter, it seemed Rainbow could use a good ego check.

"Very well. What do you wish to know?"

Back in Ponyville, at the nearby the race course that was being constructed, a rainbow-maned pegasus found herself in a rather novel situation. A light gray stallion with a light orange mane stared at her with determined eyes as he flared his broad wings in the traditional pegasus challenge.

"Rainbow Dash, I challenge you to a race! I'll prove to you that I'm the true fastest pony in Equestria!"

The challenge had barely left the pony's mouth before Rainbow had accepted, not even thinking once why this pony simply didn't wait until the official race. With a nod of mutual understanding, the two ponies moved closer to Ponyville, away from the race track that was being constructed. The two stopped atop a lone cloud at the start of a rough race course set up above the town; turns and altitude were marked with with clouds adorned with flags with a gauntlet of thunderclouds leading to the two clouds marking the end of the race.

Rainbow Dash was even surprised to see Cloudkicker acting as referee and Blossomforth manning the finish line with a camera. That was good, she was planning on making this a photo finish.

"I gotta say you put a lot of effort into a race." Dash remarked in a sardonic tone. "Just try not to get too upset when I beat ya."

The stallion snorted. "Looks like the rumor mill is right for once: You are as arrogant as they say."

Rainbow frowned at him. "This coming from the pony that challenged me."

"I challenged you so that the title of "fastest pony" doesn't go to the one with the fattest head!"

"I don't have a fat head!" came the enraged reply.

The stallion gave her a sardonic look. "Oh? So that immense party a couple weeks ago that needed two party planners wasn't for you? What about your career as town hero before that?"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. She wasn't going to go into how one pf the party planners had been a guest/Pinkie fan that wanted to work with the party pony. Granted they went a little overboard, but Dash hadn't seen any reason to complain...until now. As for the town hero bit, that was ages ago and some ponies still held it against her.

"Whatever. Let's get this race over with!"

With that the two dropped into a starting crouch as Cloudkicker laid down the rules.

"Alright, you two. Start to finish. No cutting corners and no contact. Anypony that shoves the other is disqualified and the other is deemed the winner. Also Dash, we're too low for rainbooms and Princess Twilight told me to tell you she has a spell that can take away flight she's been dying to try."

The blonde pony paused for a moment as she looked at the two racers. "Ok. Ready. Set. Go!"

With a blast of wind that threatened to blow her head over tail, Rainbow Dash and the mystery pony took off, the latter lagging slightly behind the former. As Rainbow bolted through the air she was surprised to see the gray stallion slowly catching up to her.

Not bad She thought but is he ready for this! Dash dove towards the first turn, bearing down on the flag-laden clouds. Pumping her wings, the pegasus pushed herself harder and harder until she felt the shock cone start building at her hooves. Not willing to chance what CK had said about Twilight and her new spell being true, Rainbow simply decided to ride the shockwave as opposed to bursting through it at the speed of sound.

Reduced to a speeding blur of chromatic hair and cyan fur, none were more surprised than Rainbow when the gray pegasus came shot around the curve, an orange aura building around him as he sped up even faster until he was equal with her.

Together, they dove and wound their way through the race course, Rainbow cursing under her breath as the stallion stuck with her through every flap of the way. As they came up to a dive that leveled out to the straight gauntlet of thundrclouds, Rainbow mouthed an apology to Twilight. She'd try not to make too big of a rainboom.

As the pegasus dove, the shock cone became sharper and and thinner until Rainbow felt herself surging past the sound barrier with an immense crack and a blast of vibrant colors. She shot towards the ground ready to level out when she got there. Confident in her win, Rainbow chanced a look back, not daring to move her head lest she accidentally change her course. What she did see almost made her look to be sure. The damn stallion was riding her slipstream, so close he was practically getting a face full of tail.

As the two leveled out, the stallion dropped out of Rainbow's slipstream, immediately losing ground. Before any ponies watching could ask why he'd do such a thing, blots of lighting lashed out from the first two clouds. They struck the stallion seeming to wrap around him for a second before he disappeared in an flash, leaving only a fiery contrail as he surged forward.*

Up ahead, Rainbow Dash bore down on the finish line with a vengeance. A blur of white, pink, and green told her that Blossomforth was abandoning her post as to not get caught up in the small windstorm following the pegasus. Dash really couldn't blame her but was given no time to dwell on it as that damn stallion reappeared, leaving bright orange flames in his wake as he passed her in an instant, before blowing past the finish line milliseconds later.

So startled at the sudden heat and flash of fire, Rainbow couldn't help instinctively jerk away. Unfortunately this lead to an uncontrollable tumble that ended in her barreling head first into one of the clouds marking the finish line.

Rainbow didn't immediately pull herself free, simply opting to let her rear legs and tail hang free as she hung there in shock and a little bit of awe. Her opponent had rode lighting to get his win! Lighting riding was as dangerous as it sounded, but for beings capable of surviving it, the boost it gave was incredible. The stallion had saved his energy by riding in her slipstream and had been able to overcome his temporary speed lose with a very risky gamble.

Four light impacts on the cloud told the mare she was no longer alone. The visitor pony then proceeded to grab hold of her tail to pull her out.

"Oh boy." Rainbow groaned. Pulling her head from the cloud, she braced herself for her friend's disapproval, only to stop as she saw the pony in front of her.

"Look, Twilight I'm.....you're not Twilight."

Author's Note

* if this moment made you think of this, then congratulations on getting that reference. BTF references are never dated in my opinion.

Also got tired of waiting for the ending to come to me so I decided to split the damn thing. Rainbow has more coming to her.

Chapter 7: Egomania pt 2

Expecting to see Twilight, Rainbow started as she recognized the pony in front of her. Grey coat, ever-present smile, and those impossible to mistake eyes.

"Hi, Rainbow Dash!" exclaimed Ditzy Doo with her usual enthusiasm. "You have a letter from Cloudsdale!"

Rainbow took the letter only to almost drop it out of shock when she saw the cloud and lightning bolt insignia on the seal. Fumbling, she managed to catch it and swiftly tore the wax seal off and opened the envelope. Inside was a letter and what appeared to be photos. Curious, Rainbow pulled the photos out first. It was then the first chilling tendrils of dread slowly gripped her. The photos inside the envelope were all of her in various risque positions, some quite revealing. Even in the photographs, the blush on her cheeks was readily apparent.

"Oh! Ohhhh! Oh! Buck my life!"

"What's wrong?" asked Ditzy, staring quixotically at the distraught pegasus whose sole answer was to flash some of the photos at her. "Oh! Oh wow!" She looked to the shamed pegasus next to her. "Cider-binge?"

Rainbow nodded her reluctantly. "It's kinda the reason why everyone tries to keep cider away from me. I sometimes get a little too drunk and do crazy things like that!"

Ditzy nodded and then and looked from the Rainbow in the picture to the actual pony several times. "If it makes you feel better, Rainbow, you do have a nice flank."

"DITZY!"

"What? I'm just saying. You have the right amount of plush and muscle back there!"

"Oh Celestia! Not what I wanted to hear!" Rainbow wailed, covering her ears with her hooves, missing the mischievious smile that shot across her friend's face only to disappear as Ditzy noticed the envelope still in her friends grasp. Curious, she poked the envelope with a hoof. "What about the note inside?"

"The note!" In truth Rainbow had forgotten the note. She swiftly pulled it out, scattering the photos out on the cloud, which Ditzy deft nabbed midair and then neatly stacked before leaning over to read the letter in Rainbow's grip.

Rainbow ignored her as she read the letter, noting how odd it was so neatly written especially considering it was from Soaren.

Dear Rainbow Dash, Wonderbolt Cadet

Rainbow, I am writing you due to some unexpected mail I've received from you quite recently. Rainbow, I'm quite aware of your ambitions to join the Wonderbolts as is every member of the team and I personally applaud your efforts and success in how far you've succeeded. However sending these photos of yourself posing in a drunken daze does not paint the most flattering picture of you or what you may bring to the team aside from your skills as a flier. Please for yourself and for me, do not send any more of these pictures in the future. On a lighter note, I will be keeping this between us so just consider that it never happened. None of the other members of the Wonderbolts know of this and won't, at least from me. Watch your cider intake and have a good day.

Sincerely Soarin, wing-leader of the Wonderbolts.

PS Nice flank.

Rainbow stared in horrified silence at the paper, her mind desperately seeking memories of when this happened recently. Like after she had a drinking binge so which she did for special occasions. Like a Pinkie Party Afterparty, Summer Sun Celebration, the anniversary of defeating Nightmare Moon, the celebrations after defeating Discord, the first wedding of Twilight's brother, the actual wedding of Twilight's brother, the after party to the wedding, that time Rarity found her favorite comb , and every other day ending with "Y".

Heaving a sigh, Rainbow looked at Ditzy. "I think I may have some drinking issues."

"The first step is admitting you have a problem!"said Ditzy with an understanding smile as she hooked a comforting leg around Rainbow.

Back in Canterlot, a pair of royal jaws dropped as Chrysalis's minion gave his report. Chrysalis was the first to find her tongue.

"You mean to tell me that this Rainbow Dash is going dry because of that prank?!"

"Yes, your majesty" replied the changeling, cringing a bit at the sharp tone in his Queen's voice.

Princess Luna also managed to recover her speaking faculties. "Oh relax, Chrysalis. You got to do somepony a favor and actually help them at the same time! That takes some doing."

The changeling queen grumbled for a bit before relaxing. "I guess so. However I doubt the next pony will be so lucky. Now tell me what you know of this Pinkamena?"

A mischievous smirk spread across the alicorn's face. "Oh with pleasure!"

Author's Note

A slightly shorter chapter, for which I am sorry. I got completely stalled out on this section because I couldn't think of what else to do with Rainbow. However the shorter chapter did make for a good warm up. Next up is Pinkie and unlike RD i have actually planned for this one.