Two Marines against logic, death and an Equine
View Online
Two Marines against logic, death and an Equine
“Yo Jack turn on the radio!” said a marine.
“Turn it on your self jackass.” Said Jack.
“Oh yeah I am right beside it fucknuts.” Said the marine.
“Hey Tom put on the AC/DC CD.” Said another marine.
“OOOOKKKAAAAYYY!” Said Tom.
Tom put on the cd and turned it to Back in Black.
“HELL YEAH!” yelled the marine at the turrent.
“FORGET CAUSE I NEVER DIE!” sung the marine next to Tom.
“Shut it Isaac.” Said the marine at the turrent.
“Well thats not what your mother was saying before we left Derrek.’ Said Isaac.
“Yeah well.... HOLY SHIT BOX!!!” Yelled Derrek noticing the IED just before they hit it.
Wait what it just fucking vanished. Ok now this is getting weird.
______________________________________________________________________________
Ugh my head thought Tom.
Ugh my sides thought Isaac.
“Well it looks like we ain’t in Afgan anymore” said Tom looking around at the interior of the cave.
“Wow its all fucking Techni color.” Said Isaac.
“No shit sherlock.” Said Tom in retort.
Multiple screams were heard off in the distance. Tom and Isaac looked at each other.
“Well time to fuck some shit up!” Tom said.
Isaac then noticed the equine-like creature well it would have been able to pass of as an equine except for the holes in it and the horn. The creature turned to him and said, “Love.... Give me all of your love....”
“WHOA WHOA. Not on the first date baby!” Said Isaac, “But I think Betsie is ready to give you her love!”
“Love?” Said the creature.
Isaac pulled out his .5 Caliber DEagle at the thing and pulled the trigger praying to god it would die. It did.
“OH FUCK YES!” Said Isaac.
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” Asked Tom.
“Ok ok. If it is black and holey ki...” said Isaac stopping when he heard Tom snicker
“Oh shut the fuck up. They are not Black Ministers.” Said Isaac, “Anyway if it is black and holey kill it kill it with fire.”
Isaac looked at the wreckage of the Humvee well half of it anyway. It looked as though it had been torn right off the full Humvee and displaced in space.
Tom picked up with, “You know what FUCK LOGIC! FUCK PHYSICS! WE SHOULD BE FUCKING DEAD!”
Isaac nodded and said, “Well how about we scavenge what we can from,” Cough, “the Humvee.”
Tom kicked open the trunk and pulled out his M4A1, his backpack, some MRE’s, some water, some extra ammo, and a few grenades.Tom also put the Radio in his backpack for good mesure he also grabbed a few cd’s.
Isaac pulled out his A12, his backpack, his M4A1, some MRE’s, some water, some extra rounds, and some smokes and flashes.
Isaac holstered Betsie and said as Tom picked up two sets of Night Vision goggles, “That may be a good idea if stealth was a viable option.”
“Yeah but we still need to see dipshit.” Tom said.
“Oh yeah.” Isaac said feeling like an idiot.
They began a slow trek down the cave. After what seemed like hours (the clock said minutes) they came across one of the things (for lack of a better term) over top of a cowering Orange equine that was trying to fight the thing but was losing.
Isaac screamed while charging down the pile, “LETS PLAY KICK A BITCH!” and so he did kick a bitch he kicked the bitch far. But it was stopped as Tom opened fire on it.
“Its just like playing Duck Hunt!” He said.
Isaac watched the thing’s body fall. He looked at the Equine who was now backing away in fear from the two Bipedal creatures that had just attacked the thing on top of her.
“Who.. Who are ya’ll?” It asked with a slight southern accent.
“Well I’m Tom, and this is my “Good Buddy” Isaac.” Tom said to it with a slight sarcastic tone when he said good buddy.
“Well fuck you too Tom.” Isaac said, “Well now what’s your name?”
“My... My name?” It said cowering even more, “How how do I know that ya’ll ain’t one of them changelings?”
“Well for a fact we did just save your sorry behind.” Tom said.
“And we did just kill one.” Isaac said.
The orange equine thought about that before allowing Isaac to help her up.
“Well then. Meh name is Applejack.” She said.
“Applejack... Hm.” Tom said thinking a little.
“Ugh. Do you mind if we just call you AJ?” Isaac asked about ready to slap Tom.
“Yeah actually I do.” Applejack said, “Only meh friends and family call me that.”
“Well then. What are you doing here?” Tom asked.
“I could ask ya’ll the same thing.” Applejack said to Tom.
“Just answer the question.” Isaac said.
“Well I came here with meh friends to rescue meh sister..” Applejack said.
“Hm truthful I like that. You would make a good soldier.” Tom said outloud.
“You said friends. Well it seems we have more to do Tom.” Isaac said, “where did your friends go to?”
Applejack pointed slightly towards the only available route.
“Seems legit.” Said Tom.
Just as Tom started to walk off Applejack said, “You won’t be able ta see!”
Isaac said, “Hey Tom how about we get out our flashlights and I don’t know.... Tape them to the ends of our guns?”
Tom stopped and looked at Isaac, “How about we do.”
They then finished doing the aformentioned task. (Damn being a narrator SUCKS BIG BALLS) Isaac then walked over to Applejack and bent down to put his pair of night vision goggles on her.
Applejack backed away and said, “Now what in tarnation do you think you’re doin?”
Isaac said, “Putting my night vision goggles on you so you can see a lot better.”
“Night vision goggles... Are those some kind of fancy unicorn glasses that allow me to see at night?” Applejack said.
“No they are battery powered goggles that help you to see in under lit areas.” Isaac said to her, “Now allow me to put them on so we can continue. It seems these “Changelings” enjoy attempting to rape people...” cough “...Ponies.”
She continued to refuse until Tom said, “Fuck it man we need to move. The sooner we rescue these Equines the sooner we eat!”
Applejack looked as though she was about to attack Isaac, “Wait a darn moment you... eat ponies?”
“No... I’m just so damn hungry I could eat a horse.” Tom said.
Isaac backhanded Tom, “No we don’t we have some MRE’s that we can eat.”
“Ow What was that for?” Asked Tom rubbing his cheek.
“That was for being an idiot.” Isaac said.
Applejack laughed when she saw how they acted, “Whatsa M..R..ee?”
“Meal Ready to Eat.” Isaac said, “They can save you if you are hungry but.... Their taste leaves something to be desired.”
“Yeah they taste like shit.” Tom said bluntly, “Now can we keep moving we got a few more equines to save.”
“We are called ponies.” Applejack said bluntly.
“OK THEN! Ponies we have got a few more ponies to save.” Tom said not wanting to drive another nail into his coffin.
“You two don’t seemed that suprised to see a talking pony.” Applejack said slightly confused.
“Hell we just survived an IED only to end up in a cave with a bunch of fucked up equine type things.” Isaac said, “I highly doubt anything will surprise us just as much as that.”