The Night of the Annoying Mosquito

by Alpha Scorpii

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3858

It's nighttime in Equestria, and Celestia wants one thing and one thing only: to sleep and have sweet dreams. Unfortunately, she receives the visit of a mosquito who likes to keep alicorns awake.

Celestia has faced many terrible foes throughout her life, from tyrant unicorns to the very embodiment of chaos. However, the time has come for the noble alicorn to fight against the most dreadful of monsters, a vile creature which dwells in the shadows of the night, flying through the darkness as it thirsts for the blood of innocent ponies.

It is time for Celestia to face... the common mosquito.

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Written to fight my writer's block. It worked. I hope you like it.

A million thanks to Inumaniac for being my proofreader once again.

Read the polish translation here, courtesy of Dolar84

Published 2013-02-21 17:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-21 17:10:01 UTC

The Night of the Annoying Mosquito

The Night of the Annoying Mosquito

The kitchen door opened slowly, and two eyes took a peek inside the silvery room. There was nopony there, not even the chefs. The silence was overwhelming, but not drowning. Instead, it was friendly and beautiful, almost sacred. Like the silence you would find in a temple, a lack of noise which relaxes both mind and soul. Yes, that kitchen was so calm that a pony could sit there and meditate all day.

But the owner of those two magenta eyes had not gone there to meditate.

The door opened a bit more, and a white horn slipped through, followed by an equally white winged body. Princess Celestia tiphoofed her way through the calm and empty kitchen, not making any sounds. She didn’t want to be discovered; it would ruin everything. She could not be caught before she could find her objective.

It didn’t take her long, as the object she was looking for contrasted highly with the almost shining silver kitchen: a big chocolate cake, almost as tall as herself, resting on a glorious round plate of pure white on a humble table in the middle of the room. The eyes of the Princess widened before the sight of such magnificent work of confectionery as she allowed herself to drool a bit. It took her all of her willpower to not squee in joy.

Celestia approached that fortress of chocolate and put both her front hooves on the table. She leaned forward, as the delicious scent tickled her nose, and took a big bite. She almost shed a tear when the flavour exploded in her mouth. It was the most succulent thing she had ever tast—

Bzzzzzzzzzzz

Celestia opened her eyes. Much to her displeasure, the dream faded away and was replaced by the harsh and cakeless reality. She was not in the kitchen, but in her room, lying in bed, the sheets covering all her body to protect her from the cold of the night.

She groaned in discontent when she saw that, instead of the sweet chocolate, what she was munching on was her pillow.

Bzzzzzzzzzzz

There it was again, the sound which had awoken her, that monotone and almost hurting buzz right next to her ear. Celestia illuminated the room with her magic and turned her head around, just in time to see a diminute, almost invisible black and slim creature flying in front of her eyes.

A mosquito.

The Princess took her pillow out of her mouth and sighed. Although annoyed and slightly angered by the situation, she couldn’t get mad at an insect. It just wouldn’t be right. She was a Princess after all. It was her job to care about all creatures, big and small. Besides, that mosquito hadn’t woken her up intentionally. She needed to exemplify the ideal of harmony for her little ponies, and she would do it, even if there weren’t ponies around that could see her. It was a code of behaviour she had adopted long ago, and she was going to follow it.

Thus, she gently caught the mosquito with her magic and walked to the window. She released the insect in the dark night, and closed the window to make sure she wouldn’t receive another unpleasant visit.

As she slipped under the sheets again, Celestia took a peek at the longcase clock in a corner of the room. Barely three hours had passed since she had gone to sleep, there was still plenty of time to dream again, now that she had gotten rid of the insect.

The Princess curled and closed her eyes. She relaxed every fiber of her being, allowing her mind to wander free into the land of slumber. With a bit of luck, the cake would still be there. Celestia was sure that Luna would take care that it went nowhere until her return to the dream kitchen.

Bzzzzzzzzzzz

She opened her eyes again, this time with a little frown appearing on her forehead. She illuminated the room one more time, and saw that the mosquito was standing on the other end of the pillow.

“How did you enter here?” asked the Princess.

Obviously, the insect didn’t answer.

Celestia took a deep breath of air, repeating to herself that it was important to stay calm. The mosquito had probably flown back into the room before she closed the window, without her noticing it. There was no need to get mad, even if the situation was getting a bit irritating. She would just use her magic to toss the insect out again, and this time she would make sure that her little visitor stayed outside.

So, the Princess grabbed the mosquito with her magic once more.

Or at least, she tried. To her surprise, the arthropod flew away at the last second, and Celestia’s telekinesis grabbed only a small chunk of air.

The Princess blinked. That had never happened to her, or to any unicorn, for what she knew. There were many spells that could be avoided, but telekinesis was not one of them, not unless the unicorn casting it got distracted.

Celestia shook her head, blaming her magic failure on the lack of sleep and the tiredness. The mosquito had landed on her desk, so she approached, carefully, not making any loud noises, and tried again. And just like before, the insect dodged it, and the magic only got another small chunk of air.

Celestia grumbled, but remained calm. ‘Focus’, she said to herself. ‘Don’t get mad, and focus.’

She followed the mosquito across the room, and when the insect landed on the wall, she tried one more time.

She got a chunk of air.

The Princess was starting to lose her patience. That mosquito seemed to be mocking her, flying around and somehow avoiding her magic. But Celestia had lived long and was a smart pony, she knew other ways to toss that annoying insect out of her room.

She opened the window and, before the mosquito could land again, she flapped her wings, creating a small wind. Startled by this, the insect kept flying around. With a proud smile on her lips, the Princess flapped her wings a few more times, creating wind currents which allowed her to redirect the flight of the mosquito towards the open window.

Once the insect flew into the night for a second time, Celestia closed the window as quickly as her magic could.

Done. There was no doubt this time, the mosquito was outside and completely unable to get inside again. Celestia allowed herself to giggle proudly before getting into bed, sure that she wouldn’t need to abandon the comfort of her sheets until sunrise.

With the sweet taste of victory, which could only be surpassed by the taste of that big cake waiting for her in the oneiric realm, and which itself could only be surpassed by the cake she would order the chefs to cook the next day; the Princess closed her eyes and drifted into slumber.

Bzzzzzzzzzzz

“Oh, come on!”

Celestia jumped out of her bed, looking around for the little flying annoyance. The calm she had managed to maintain until then was breaking apart at an alarming speed.

“There you are!” she grumbled, approaching the desk, where the mosquito had landed for a second time. “I don’t know how you keep getting in, but this has to stop!”

The mosquito started to fly in circles around the Princess, who took a very long breath of air before opening the window and performing the trick of the wings again.

But, in a display of unexpected invertebrate intelligence, or maybe just predictable arthropodic mischievousness; the mosquito avoided the wind created by the Princess’s wings and flew right into her ear.

“Agh!”

Celestia waved her hoof and shooed the insect away, with the annoying buzz still echoing in her eardrums. She clenched her teeth, snorted, and her almost divine-like patience was finally shattered to pieces.

It was true that Celestia should make an example of good behaviour for other ponies. It’s true that she should care for all creatures, big and small. It’s true that she should be able to remain calm even in stressful situations, as she had learnt to do through her millennia of reign, and never succumb to anger.

But there was another thing that was also true: that little bloodsucker had tired her enough.

Besides, if a pony like Fluttershy can slip into an episode of craziness, then anypony can.

Celestia lifted her own pillow with her magic and started to wave it around herself with exponentially increasing rage, hoping to smash the insect even if it was by chance. However, the mosquito survived and kept orbiting the Princess's head, emitting her incessant buzzing, annoying to the point that the alicorn was almost feeling physical pain.

The mosquito landed on Celestia’s nose. The Princess squinted, staring at the insufferable nuisance with her eyes bloodshot. The insect stared back with her expressionless compound eyes, and the alicorn had the feeling that, indeed, that bug was mocking her.

However, her lips bent in a psychopathic smile.

“Got you,” she mumbled.

The Princess hit herself with the pillow, right in the face.

There was silence. Celestia remained there, in the middle of the room. The pillow, still surrounded by the magic aura, was pressed against her face. Only when the Princess felt that she was running out of air, she finally removed it.

Celestia sat down and shut off her magic, giggling in an almost maniacal way which would’ve made Discord proud. She held the pillow on her hooves, eager to see the tiny black squashed dot which would be everything that remained of the annoying mosquito.

However, the pillow was clean.

Bzzzzzzzzzzz

“Agh, my ear!”

Celestia shook her head. The insect was still flying around and buzzing. The alicorn gave her a stare which would have opened a hole in the wall.

As in a final act of mockery, the mosquito danced in the air in front of Celestia, and then flew to the door and slipped through the lock, going into the corridor.

“Oh, no, you won’t! This is personal now!”

***

Watching over the royal armory was a serious bussiness. Also, very boring.

The guardstallion yawned, trying not to think about the following hours, which he would have to spend standing in front of the golden door. It was an easy job, that was for sure, but the poor unicorn wished he hadn’t forgotten his deck of cards at home. Nights at Canterlot’s castle could get dangerously boring, unless one had the luck of meeting Princess Luna, or Princess Celestia while she sneaked in the kitchen for some snack, and have a little conversation with either one of them. But the former was usually busy protecting the dreams of the sleeping ponies, and the latter had decided to cut out such habits, so that was a fat chance.

Granted, there were those nights when something unusual would happen, and the royal guards would have a funny story to tell their foals, but the guard was pretty sure that he wouldn’t be so lucky. Those nights were rare, and the chances that that night was one of those were slim at best.

It was then, while he was thinking about his boring situation, that the he saw a tiny creature flying across the corridor in an erratic way.

“A mosquito,” mumbled the unicorn, just to hear some words, even if they were his own. “Just as boring as everything else here.”

He yawned again, but before he could close his mouth, something else crossed the air and hit a nearby column. Something white and soft.

A pillow, wrapped in a golden magical aura.

Still with his mouth wide open, the guardstallion turned his head around, and what he saw standing at the edge of the corridor made him raise both eyebrows: Princess Celestia, without any of her usual jewelry, her eyes bloodshot and one of them even twitching.

“I’ll get you!” she said, clenching her teeth.

Celestia trotted forwards and retrieved the pillow. Her eye twitched again, and she noticed the presence of the soldier, who closed his mouth and gulped.

“G-good night, your Highness!” the unicorn wasn’t bored anymore. He wasn’t sure if he should feel happy about it.

“Yeah...” the Princess gave the guard a smile which made him shiver. “Good night...” she looked at the door he was guarding. “Ah, the royal armory! Just what I needed!”

Before the soldier pony could react, as he was still busy trying to guess what was going on, Celestia introduced her horn in the keyhole of the golden door, which opened obediently. The alicorn smiled and rushed inside.

The unicorn remained there, in silence, wondering if he should go inside too and help the Princess with whathever she was doing. However, just as he was about to go, Celestia came back, and the guardstallion gulped as he saw that the Princess was carrying, with her magic, an insane amount of clubs, maces, warhammers and flails.

And the pillow.

“Um...” the soldier trotted back, wondering if he should start looking for another job. “Is there any problem, your Hig-”

“No!” said Celestia, as her psychopathic smile grew wider. “No problems at all, everything is fine... I’m just... I have a tiny little business to attend to I’m going to swat that buzzing midget to oblivion! and I will finish soon...” now her ear was twitching too.

“W-well, if you need any help, I’d be happy to—”

“No time! It went this way, right? Oh, that pest will not escape!”

And Celestia trotted away, followed by her cloud of weapons. The guardstallion watched as she disappeared down the corridor. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, and the soldier studied his options. He could just keep guarding the armory, after all, that was his assigned duty. He hadn’t joined the royal guard to deal with a crazy princess and her floating weapons. Besides, there were other guards ahead, they could take care of her.

He repeated those words to himself a few times, but before he could be convinced by his own arguments, his conscience got the best of him, and he trotted after the Princess.

He was missing boredom.

***

It seemed that there was going to be a calm night in the oneiric realm. No nightmares could be seen in the dreamy horizon, and all the ponies, big and small, were sleeping peacefully in their beds.

Thus, as it appeared that her services wouldn’t be necessary, Princess Luna returned to the vigil realm. Her blue shape materialized in the corridor as she abandoned the dream version of Canterlot’s castle and stepped into the real one. She was a bit worried, though, since she hadn’t seen her sister anywhere near the big and unguarded chocolate cake in the kitchens of the slumber castle, as she had expected. But Luna just shrugged that unusual fact, thinking that Celestia had probably succumbed to temptation and was awake in the real kitchens, stealing some real snacks.

After all, if there was any serious problem in the vigil realm, Luna would have noticed it immediately... right?

A tiny movement in the air attracted her attention. She turned her head and saw a small mosquito flying across the corridor in an erratic pattern. But Luna just shrugged and didn’t pay much attention to the insect, as there was always some bug crawling or flying through the castle, no matter how much the maids tried to keep it clean.

Then, much to the Princess’ shock, a spiked flail flew through the air an clashed against a flower pot, annihilating it and scattering petals all over the place. Before Luna could ask what was happening, she was greeted and left speechless by the image of her sister, surrounded by glowing blunt weapons and trotting across the corridor with a maniacal expression on her face.

She watched as Celestia, without noticing her, retrieved the spiked flail and resumed her race, mumbling something about smashing somepony. Luna blinked in confusion and looked at her surroundings.

“I thought I had abandoned the realm of dreams...”

Another pony appeared through the corridor, following Celestia’s steps. It was a member of the royal guard, a unicorn stallion of low rank.

“Ah, Princess Luna!” said the guardstallion, stopping for a moment to catch his breath. “I’m glad I’ve found you, Your Highness!”

“What is happening, soldier?” asked Luna. “Why is my sister running around with all those weapons?”

“I’m not sure! She said something about some business she had to attend to, as well as something about swatting, but I didn’t quite understand.”

“Well, we have to stop her before she hurts somepony! Or herself!”

***

Following the irregular flight of the insect, Celestia trotted through the corridors of the castle like a warhorse, her hooves leaving marks on the floor and her nostrils expelling small clouds of steam. She was waiting for the mosquito to land somewhere so she could unleash all her fury. Her eyes were fixed on the flying arthropod, and they did not blink. The Princess was ignoring everything around her, focusing all her attention in swinging her many weapons whenever the flying midget got close enough. Everything else was irrelevant. In her eyes, the mosquito was the only thing that existed.

Celestia had decided to launch a merciless attack on the insect. Besides of the weapons and the pillow, the Princess was also casting spells, determined to finish the insect at all costs.

Magic blasts exploded in the walls and razed the curtains, and the guardstallions, who were calmly doing their night routes, had to jump aside and take shelter behind anything they could find in order to avoid being hit by a spell. Or a hammer. Or a mace. Or the pillow. They watched in confusion and amazement as their Princess ran past them like a hurricane, jabbering what they assumed were bad words in some ancient pony language, and with her mane literally burning like an inferno.

While the guards were busy trying to decide if that had been the most terrifying or the most awesome thing they had ever seen, Celestia kept running across the castle, chasing the annoying insect.

Then, the mosquito flew inside a room. Celestia recognized it: it was her own bedroom. They had returned to the initial square.

“That’s it!” she said, rushing inside with all her weapons and closing the door behind her. “You’re mine!”

***

Luna, accompanied by all the guardstallions who had witnessed Celestia's rage, had no troubles following her big sister, as she had left an increasing trail of destruction behind her. The corridors were completely devastated, with statues reduced to piles of gravel, curtains on fire, smoking holes in the walls, flower pots smashed and angry hoofsteps marked on the floor. Luna was trying to not think about how many bits it would cost to repair all the damage.

“The trail leads to my sister’s room,” said Luna. “Let’s hope we get there before she annihilates the furniture.”

As they forced the pace, they heard terrible noises in the distance, echoing through the castle. They were, without a doubt, the sounds of a fight, and they were coming from Celestia’s bedroom.

Luna had been in some battles before she became Nightmare Moon, in the old ages. She remembered the sound of swords clashing, hooves kicking in the battlefield, and spells whistling through the air and exploding when they came in contact with a stone or an unfortunate pony.

And yet, the noises coming from Celestia’s room sounded way worse than anything Luna could remember.

“Oh, what is my sister doing?” wondered she, worried. “Let’s hurry!”

They rushed towards Celestia’s bedroom, but they couldn’t advance much, because at that instant, the whole castle trembled, and they lost their balance. The windows vibrated, and some of them even cracked a bit, when a powerful Royal Canterlot Voice echoed through all the corridors and rooms, shaking the very foundations of the building:

“YES! I DID IT! I WON! TAKE THAT, YOU ANNOYING LITTLE PEST!”

The voice laughed victoriously, causing the castle to tremble for a second time, and then it ended abruptly, and was replaced by a deadly silence. Luna stood up, exchanged worried looks with the guards, and together they hurried to Celestia’s chambers.

When they got there and opened the door, their jaws fell at unison. The room was in the most disastrous state Luna had ever seen in Canterlot or in any other city. In fact, she was sure that it had crossed the line when it loses all the rights to be called “room” and has to be referred to as “ruins”. The bed was upside down, pierced by a dozen of glowing spears made of magic, which were starting to disappear. The desk had been broken in half, and the wardrobe had been demolished. The blunt weapons were scattered all over the place, most of them embedded in the floor and the walls. One of the hammers had crashed into the mirror. Where the longcase clock had stood once, now there were only ashes and a big burnt mark on the wall. The curtains were frozen in a block of ice, and the bathroom looked as if it had been struck by all the lightning in the world at the same time.

But, in the middle of all that chaos, like the eye of a hurricane, Princess Celestia was in the floor, hugging her pillow and sleeping peacefully, smiling in dreams. Her mane wasn’t burning anymore, and it had returned to its normal and multicolor state.

Luna approached, wondering if she should wake her sister to ask her what had happened. The white alicorn seemed completely different from a while ago. No more crazy smiles, and no more worrying twitches, just a warm smile and a calm breathing, like a little filly.

“I did it...” mumbled Celestia, in dreams. “No more mosquito...”

Luna couldn’t help but smile, too. She still wanted an explanation, even though she was getting an idea of what had happened, but she couldn’t bring herself to wake her sister up either, not when she seemed so happy in her dreams.

With the help of the guards, she picked up all the weapons carefully to return them to the armory. They also cleaned the room a bit, retiring the broken desk and the glass shards of what had once been a mirror. Before going away, she took the sheets, although they were full of holes now, and tucked her big sister.

They abandoned the room, and closed the door.

And Celestia was dreaming, happily, at last. She had finally made it back to the world of slumber, to that silver kitchen where everything was peaceful. In her dream, the chocolate cake looked even more delicious than before. With tears of joy in her eyes, Celestia leaped forward, with the legs extended, ready to taste and finally enjoy that succulent—

Bzzzzzzzzzzz

THE NIGHT OF THE ANNOYING MOSQUITO - END