The Cutie Mark Crusaders Fly Delta Airlines

by V-Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity, Adventure, Human, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Other
Length: 8490

The CMC are stuck on a 12-hour, cross-Pacific flight. What could possibly go wrong...or rather, what WON'T go wrong?

After Sweetie Belle sees a description in a magazine of all the opportunities in Japan in the year 1996, the CMC decide to embark on a cross-Pacific flight from San Francisco to Tokyo. 35,000 feet. 500 MPH. 12 hours. 3 hyperactive wonderful little fillies...what could possibly go wrong?

Set in totallynotabrony's Battleships Are Magic Universe.

Published 2013-02-20 16:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-09 03:39:05 UTC

Chapter Uno

They say the path to hell is paved with the best intentions...and Rarity, being a unicorn who prided herself on being "in the know" on current gossip and idioms between Equestria and Earth, was certainly no stranger to the phrase, especially when applied to three certain little fillies she knew were just chock-full of "good intentions." But this latest one took the cake, the kitchen, hell-it took the whole of Sugarcube Corner as far as she was concerned. At the announcement of her little sister's latest scheme to gain her Cutie Mark, Rarity quite literally dropped everything she was doing-working on a very expensive ensemble for Sapphire Shores, mind you-whirled around, and regarded her with an expression of shock and annoyance so sour that it would have made the Ponyville Express take a dirt road.

"You most certainly will not be going there, Sweetie Belle!" The small unicorn filly winced as her older sister practically screeched her dismay at her plan for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to go to Earth through one of the transport portals opened up over the last few years.

"But it's only for a few days! And that magazine said there's plenty of stuff to do in Japan; we're sure to get our marks there!" she bounced as she replied squeakily, trying in vain to approach the level of volume with which her worried sister was using. It wasn't that Rarity thought that Earth was unsafe (ponies had been going there and coming back for over half a decade now without issue, being treated as international ambassadors most times), it was the fact that it was her little sister going off with her unintentionally semi-destructive friends to Earth! A million scenarios ran through her mind, ranging from them getting lost again (it had happened in North Carolina in what Rarity was still convinced was due to gross negligence by Applejack who had promised to keep an eye on them), to them ruining the good inter-world relations between Earth and Equestria by trying to earn their Cutie Marks in some ungodly crusade...speaking of which...

"Sweetie Belle, why are you covered in soot?" Rarity cocked a brow at the dark marks peppering her white coat.

"Oh, um..." the filly shuffled her hooves awkwardly. "Applebloom, Scoots and I were trying to get our Marks and stuff..."

"In what?"

"...fire eating?" Sweetie Belle offered hopefully, but needless to say, Rarity was less than pleased with that little announcement.

"..............ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR LITTLE PONY MINDS?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!"

................................

"So I guess that didn't go very well," Scootaloo muttered as she and her two friends shuffled across Ponyville, headed for their clubhouse.

"Yeah, but Ah'll tell ya what: Ah didn't know Rarity could pull off a Trixie impersonation like that," Applebloom chuckled, trying to raise her friends' spirits, but to no avail as Sweetie Belle simply snorted and grumbled at the ground, her little hooves practically stomping their way down the cobblestone streets as she trotted.

"Oh well, we'll just try our hoof at something else," Scootaloo perked up. "Um...hey, what about boulder-rolling? Yeah, we'll go get Tom and act out that scene from Daring Do and-whoa!" the pegasus filly gasped as Sweetie Belle suddenly yanked her and Applebloom around the corner of the Quills and Sofas shop. "What's the big idea, Sweets?"

The little unicorn glanced back around the corner of the building towards Carousel Boutique, and when she was sure nopony named Rarity was watching, she pulled back behind the corner again and turned to her friends with a conspiratorial grin on her face of a size usually shared between all three of them. To see it concentrated on the single filly's face was a bit unnerving, but her friends' curiosity won out in the end...and Sweetie Belle obliged them with a semi-wicked little chuckle as she dropped the "heart-broken little sister" act.
"Hey guys," she reached into her little saddlebag with a hoof. "What's round and gold and shiny all over?"

"Uh...a basketball?" Scootaloo shrugged.

"Nah, that's orange, Scoots!" Applebloom shook her head.

"Well you got any ideas, country girl?"

"Um...eggs?"

"Eggs aren't gold, they're white," Scootaloo scoffed. "And they're not round, they're...well, egg-shaped!"

"They can be sorta goldish," Applebloom insisted before Sweetie Belle spoke up to head off what she knew from experience was going to be an argument/brawl/trip to Ponyville Medical/scolding by Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash.

"Even better," she snickered and pulled out a hoof-full of shiny gold coins. "Enough of Rarity's bits to pay the portal toll to get us to Earth and do plenty of stuff once we get there!" It bears noting here that one of the main reasons why inter-world relations had gone so well was the trade of bits to Earth; bits being roughly the size of a half-dollar and minted in solid gold, the lure of getting more of the precious metal circulating into Earth's markets was more than enough reason to remain friendly with Equestria. And with gold going at $600 an ounce, one bit would get you quite far on Earth. To say the exchange rates seemed skewed all over the place in Equestria in comparison would be an understatement, but that's a discussion for another place and time!

"Oh my gosh, you stole those from Rarity?" Scootaloo gawked. "How?!"

"When she got all distracted and ranted about Applejack getting us lost last time, I snuck a few dozen from her cash register," she smirked in a manner most unbecoming for a young filly...least ways, one that wasn't in the CMC.

"Sweetie Belle, yer a dern thief," Applebloom squinted at her friend, knowing what Applejack would say if she got caught up in a scheme like this...as if that ever stopped her before! "Not like Rarity'll miss a few of'em, though," the country filly's face split into a grin to match Sweetie Belle's before turning to their orange friend. "Ya'll in, Scoots? It'd be a shame ta waste Sweetie Belle's "good" efforts like-" but she and Sweetie Belle were merely looking at the after-image of Scootaloo formed by the pegasus kicking up road dust as she tore down the street for the clubhouse.

"Last one there to pack's a rotten griffin egg!" Her friends needed no further prodding and they took off after her. Meanwhile, Rarity had finally gathered herself enough to notice that her cash register was open a crack.

"Hrm...could have sworn I had this shut and locked earlier," she muttered before shrugging it off and returning to her work. "No use crying over cracked registers; I've got an ensemble to finish!"

...............................

Several Hours Later...

Gaining access to the portal outside Ponyville had been a breeze; it wasn't like it was forbidden to go near it after all. The Cutie Mark Crusaders presented the 4 human soldiers on duty at the check station with their ID's from their last trip to Earth, drawing no more than a friendly smile and a nod of consent from the tall bipeds. They presented the final human, this one a grey-haired woman that Applebloom swore looked like Grannysmith minus the green fur, with one bit each. She gave the coins a cursory once-over, dropped them through the coin-slot of a steel strong-box receptacle, and waved them on towards the softly-glowing blue portal. As they neared the garage-door sized entrance, Sweetie Belle thought she heard one of the soldiers mutter that he could have sworn he'd seen those little fillies before...and it wasn't exactly the friendliest of mutters either.

"C'mon guys, almost there," she grinned and hurried her friends towards the portal before the humans recognized and stopped them. In her haste, she missed the red knob on the side of the portal that one used to determine the destination on the other side, and as they stepped through the warm, shimmering, water-like surface, the unicorn filly sensed that something was wrong...very wrong. Toyko wasn't supposed to be so hilly, nor did she remember anything in the magazine about their being train cars in the street! A wide-mouthed bay crossed by a gigantic red-orange bridge that Sweetie Belle didn't recognize loomed in the West, while tightly-packed, narrow stucco houses crowded up against the road and towered over them.

"So, we're in Japan now?" Scootaloo asked, her wide purple eyes scanning the crowed of people that passed by them near the portal station. Some merely glanced at them and continued on their way, having seen dozens of ponies before in the last few years, others, especially children, stopped and stared for a moment before being scolded for being rude and escorted away by their parents.

"Wow, Ah kinda thought it'd be more...Japan-y," Applebloom scratched her chin and pulled the magazine out of Sweetie Belle's saddlebag. "Yeah, Ah don't think this is Japan, Sweets," the country filly tapped her hoof on the pictures in the magazine. "Tha writin's all wrong, tha colors are too dull, folks ain't bowin' and smilin', an'...them human's eyes ain't right either."

"Whatcha mean?" Sweetie Belle cocked her head up at the people passing by.

"Look, their eyes in tha pictures are all...squinty-like. An' nopony's wearin' a suit an' tie, either," she waved a hoof at the casually-dressed crowds, some of which weren't wearing much in the way of clothes at all. Uncouth, Rarity would call it.

"Then where the hay are we?" Scootaloo flared her small wings and glanced about before they all three spotted the large greeting billboard in the portal-station at once.

"Uh-oh..." Sweetie Belle muttered, glancing back in vain at the entrance-only portal. "I think we missed," she frowned as she read the large block-style words that covered the sign from top to bottom:

WELCOME TO SAN-FRANCISCO

.......................................

Author's Note

Who else but those Cutie Mark Crusaders? :P
This isn't going to be a terribly long story, but it's an idea I just had to get out there. Expect fairly frequent updates compared to Blue Angel!
I hope you enjoy the ride!

Chapter Dos

"Missed? Whadya mean, missed?!" Scootaloo stared at her friend in shock, as was Applebloom.

"Yeah, whatcha mean by that? Ain't we in Japan?" The Earth Pony filly felt her throat constricting a bit; they were lost, weren't they?

"Er, uh...no?" The unicorn filly offered meekly. "And when I say missed, I mean we're in the wrong city."

"Missed by how much?" Applebloom asked, throat growing a bit tighter at the look of confusion on her friend's face.

"I, uh...I dunno," Sweetie Belle's ears flopped downwards and she sat her flank with a miserable little whine. "I'm sorry." At the sight of her perky confidence crumbling, Applebloom sat down as well to comfort her, while Scootaloo continued to stalk the interior of the portal station, giving frustrated little snorts every now and again before her eyes trailed back up to the billboard.

"You said we're in the wrong city, right?"

"Yeah, it looks like it."

"Then where the hay is San Francisco?!" Scootaloo tossed her hoof at the sign and practically shouted, her small wings buzzing furously; this wasn't the first time Sweetie Belle had led them into trouble because they trusted her smarts. And now they were totally lost again!

"San Fran's on the West Coast, little pony dudette." The CMC looked up to see a mid 20's-ish-looking male human without a shirt and sporting a pair of sunglasses, a red baseball cap on backwards, outrageously-colored swim trunks, and no shoes along with a really bad tanline and funny accent. A glob of sunscreen on the bridge of his nose and an aloof grin completed the look, and judging by the way the guy was swaying slightly and extending his hand with his thumb and pinkie finger jutted out like that, Scootaloo wondered if the guy was "loco in the coco", as Pinkie Pie would say.

"West Coast?" Applebloom spoke up, and Mr. Bad Tanlines nodded a few times more than was really necessary.

"Shah, of the good ol' U S of A," he pumped a fist before cocking his head and crouching down to their level once he realized he was kinda looming over them. "Whoa, so what're you three doin' here layin' on the ground 'stead of checkin' out San Fran?"

"Well, we're not supposed to be here," Sweetie Belle sniffed and got to her hooves. "The portal here kinda made us miss our real destination."

"Well that's bogus," the human shot a quick glare at the portal as if had personally offended him before re-offering them a friendly smile. "Where were ya supposed to be?"

"Japan-" was all Scootaloo managed to say before the human's jaw dropped open in shock.

"Bummer, you guys missed by a lot if that's true," he rubbed the side of his jaw and shook his head.

"By how much?" Sweetie Belle asked tentatively.

"Oh, about five thousands miles or so-" was all he got out before Scootaloo glared at Sweetie Belle, giving Applebloom just enough warning to grab the pegasus filly before she tackled and beat the stuffing out of Sweetie.

"Are you feathering kidding me, Sweetie Belle?! We bucking missed by Five-feathering-thousand miles?!" Scootaloo thrashed against Applebloom's hooves, shouting and using language that would make a Wonderbolt blush and Twilight Sparkle to cave in Rainbow Dash's head if she found out where the filly had learned that from. The human recoiled a step, gobsmacked at how vicious the little orange pegasus had suddenly become in the blink of an eye. "I wanted to stay in Ponyville and try boulder-rolling to get our Cutie Marks, but no you guys had to talk me into coming here!!" It was then that she realized that Applebloom was partially at fault, and it was only the intervention of the human that kept her from making the Earth Pony filly eat her own mane-ribbon.

"Whoa, whoa, chill out dudette," he placed an arm between the squabbling fillies and tried to project an air of calm. It somewhat worked as Scootaloo turned her irritation towards him instead, causing him to duck-walk backwards as she stomped towards him, her violet eyes glaring as viciously as a cute little pony possibly could.

"Don't dudette me!" she poked him in the knee with a hoof. "You're not the one who's lost five thousand miles away from Japan and'll probably never get his cutie mark now!" Applebloom and Sweetie Belle gave the human helpless little looks; it was tough reasoning with the hot-headed little filly when she was like this.

"Hey, it's not like you're stuck here." His words caused Scootaloo to take pause and cock her head. "Plenty of ways to get from Cali to Japan, ya know."

"Oh yeah, like what?" At that very moment, a large jetliner roared overhead, shaking the ground beneath the CMC's hooves and causing them to look up in fright. "What the hay is that thing?!"

"Haha, that's a plane little dudette. That's one way to get to Japan from here. You ride it there."

"Like on top of it?" Applebloom asked, but her answer only drew more incredulous laughter from the human.

"Nah, inside it."

"Is there a faster way?" Scootaloo queried.

"Nah, not that I know of." At his answer, the pegasus brightened considerably and she grinned her hope to her friends.

"Is there a less noisy way to get there?" Sweetie Belle spoke up, not keen on the roar that thing made when it flew over.

"Oh, it's nice and quiet inside," the human stood up and stretched his legs before looking down the street and jerking his thumb in the direction the plane was headed: a large white and blue building with massive windows and a wavy-looking metal roof. "San Fran International Airport's the way to get on'em from here. Just head in there, grab a ticket if you got the money, and-" but when he turned back, he realized he was talking to thin air. The human looked back up at the sound of fleeing hoofsteps to see the three little fillies galloping in the direction of the airport. Chuckling to himself and shaking his head, he whistled a little tune and headed on his way, unaware of the events he'd just set in motion...

............................

Hours Later...

"Whoa, this is really nice," Applebloom grinned as she snuggled herself down into the plush leather seat of something called "Delta First Class" that they'd been immediately offered by the airline attendant when Sweetie Belle had dumped a hoof-full of bits on the flight reservation counter inside the huge airport. Applebloom giggled: she'd never seen a human's eyes that wide before! The interior of the Boeing 767 was pretty cramped compared to the country air she was used to, and the white lights just made everything seem...off, but she shrugged it off. This beat being stuck on the ground with no plan, right?

The take-off had been kinda scary and rattly, but a friendly flight attendant with blonde hair and a nametag that read "Jan" was quick to let them know it was totally normal; although Scootaloo whooped and hollered the whole way down the runway and up into the air, drawing strange looks from the well-dressed people sitting across the aisles from them. Jan let it go however, as she'd been informed by the flight desk attendant that these three little ponies had dropped more money on their tickets than anyone else on that flight, so she had no choice but to turn a blind eye to their antics...or at least cover her face with her palm in irritation, cursing her boss for saddling her with this mess. She despised noisy kids, ponies or not. The seats they'd been given were wide and accommodating enough for humans, and to Applebloom it was almost like sitting on her bed. "O-o-oh i-it v-v-ibrat-t-tes!" she giggled as her hooves fiddled with the buttons along the armrest.

"Yeah, well mine heats up!" Scootaloo countered, enjoying the heat that soak through her haunches as she leaned back her chair. "And it reclines! It's just like the spa!" Her remarks drew reactions ranging from harrumphs of annoyance, to smiles of amusement from the passengers around her. Many had seen adult ponies in the previous years, but never a group of rambunctious little fillies before. They were so adorable, what harm could they do? They'd have done well to have scheduled a therapy session in Japan if they'd had any foresight...

"What's Lobster Bis-cue?" Sweetie Belle sampled the strange-looking word printed in the menu she'd pulled from the back of the seat in front of her when she realized she was kinda hungry.

"It's pronounced "bisk"," a masculine voice spoke up to her left, and the unicorn filly looked up to see a middle-aged man with a friendly smile that poked out from under a bushy salt and pepper mustache. He was wearing a wide-framed set of glasses and a dark-grey suit with a briefcase laying across his knees. It was open and he'd been shuffling through the paperwork that practically overflowed from its interior before he'd spoken up. "It's soup with lobster bits in it; pretty good if I do say so myself."

"Oh, thanks," Sweetie Belle nodded, though she wasn't sure what lobster was. Maybe it was some sort of potato? She continued to peruse the menu for a few moments more before realizing that the man kept glancing at her curiously. "Uh, can I help you, mister?" She wasn't supposed to talk to strangers, and the guy with the red hat on the ground had kinda been pushing it already. The man seemed to catch her uncertainty and offered her his hand across the aisle.

"Wilkins. James Wilkins," he smiled. That was enough for Sweetie Belle and she bumped her hoof against his fingers, drawing a strange look from the human before he chuckled and withdrew his hand.

"I'm Sweetie Belle, that's Scootaloo and Applebloom," she waved her hoof at the duo who'd taken to see whose chairs could recline and raise the fastest. "And we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders."

"Cutie Mark Crusaders, eh?" James mused as he fiddled with his paperwork again. "That some sort of club?"

"Mhm, we're dedicated to earning our Cutie Marks so we'll know what our destinies are," she turned sideways and bared her blank flank with a small frown. "Only thing is, we're kinda better at failing to get our marks than earning them."

"Ah, I'm sorry to hear that," James pursed his lips and frowned as well; he'd had experience with ponies before and knew a bit about how much Cutie Marks played into their society in Equestria. It was a bit like earning a degree; without it, one had little purpose. A pony was somewhat stuck in limbo until they did, however most appeared naturally over time. Strange that these three were actively seeking their marks, rather than letting them appear on their own. He theorized that forcing the issue probably wasn't the best idea, but he wasn't one to pry into their personal problems. Besides, they were a guest of this planet, and he felt he should be polite. "I wish I knew how to help," he offered somewhat lamely, but it was good enough for Sweetie Belle, who flopped back down in her seat with a shrug.

"Meh, it's ok. We're kinda used to doing it this way anyways."

"Fair enough," James cocked a brow at Scootaloo and Applebloom, who were now doing their best to stand on the tops of their chairs while they vibrated full-tilt, threatening to toss them into the laps of the snoozing or eating passengers nearby and drawing a sharp glare from one that Scootaloo knocked her seat's folding tray down on. She gave the bearded, heavyset man an apologetic grin before returning to her game. He'd have to keep an eye on those two...
"Something just occurred to me, Sweetie Belle."

"Hmm, what's up?"

"Three little fillies like yourselves out on your own across the Pacific to Japan," he peered over the rim of his glasses at her. "Where are your parents and how'd you get the money to get on this flight if you don't have jobs since you lack Cutie Marks?"

"Uh...pass?" Sweetie Belle replied weakly, and James swore that if she acted more innocently a halo or something might pop out of thin air over her head. James gave her one last half-squint of a look before shrugging it off with a chuckle and returning to his paperwork; they didn't seem to mean any harm...still it was kinda his business to know these things. "Whoa, so what do you do?" she asked after a moment of thought.

"Hmm, whatcha mean, Sweetie?" James asked without looking up from his briefcase.

"I mean you did a good job of figuring all that out from just like five minutes of talking to me," she gaped at him in awe. "So what kinda job do you do that helps you do that kind of stuff?"

"Hmmm...pass," he shot her a sly smile that caused her to cross her forehooves and flop adorably back into her seat and grumble to herself before turning to join her friends in a new game of what looked like rock-paper-scissors, though how they could pull something off like that without fingers, he had no idea. James shook his head and chuckled again, yeah, better keep an eye on all three of them.

........................

Ponyville...

"Whoa, what happened here, ya'll?" Applejack raced up to the soldiers standing outside the portal, one of which was waving his hand and fanning an unconscious Rarity's face.

"Ms. Rarity came up to us and asked if we'd seen her sister and her friends, and when we told her that they'd gone through the portal a few hours ago, she-" But he was interrupted as Applejack shoved the soldier up against the check station wall, rearing up and placing her hooves on his chest, and growling in his face.

"Ya'll'd best talk nice an' slow, pardner, cuz Ah don't want ya'll makin' any more mistakes today!" The soldiers began to instinctively level their rifles at her, but a cyan blur came streaking out of the sky and thumped to the ground between them, all flared feathers, bared teeth, and flashing rainbow mane.

"Just what the hay's going on here!?" Rainbow Dash shouted in alarm at the sight of the guns and Rarity's fallen form. "Oh my gosh, you guys shot Rarity?!" she gasped and prepared to charge before Rarity spoke up.

"No darling, I'm a victim of robbery, not mare-slaughter." Her words stopped the confused pegasus in her tracks, and she whipped back around to Applejack for an explanation.

"Oh, these fellers let Applebloom and her friends go through the dern portal hours ago without tellin' anypony about it!"

"SAY WHAT?!" Rainbow Dash bellowed, and it was only Rarity magically grasping her at the last minute that prevented Rainbow Dash from touching off an inter-world war by doing something rather rash. By the time she was done fully explaining the situation, Dash would have been champing at the bit if she were wearing one; there was no time to waste! No telling what trouble those three had gotten into!

2 Hours Later...

"Ugh, are we there yet?" Scootaloo threw her head back and whined at the ceiling for the 19th time that hour, and just like the previous eighteen times, the answer from Jan was the same: no, albeit now her irritation was so great that not even her artificially bright and cheerful smile could conceal all of it, and she soon found herself echoing the filly's question: are we there yet?! The constant drone of the jet engines permeated the cabin and lent a dull vibration to everything underhoof and foot until their limbs seemed to lose a little sensation. It was enough to drive almost anyone towards sleep, but the CMC were far from just anyone. Scootaloo groaned and crossed the aisle, tip-hoofing over a snoring passenger and peering out the window, but all she saw were clouds and the ocean far below her, just like before. She'd taken up the job of looking out the window once Applebloom peeked out herself, and being a normally ground-bound Earth Pony, was quite quickly struck with acrophobia and refused to leave the center triple row of seats.

"Where are we, Scootaloo?" Applebloom called out and drawing another look of irritation from the big bearded guy behind her. He rolled his eyes and returned to his steak, a meal that had made the farm filly's stomach turn once she realized what it was. All in all, Applebloom wasn't having a good trip so far.

"Pretty much the same place," she replied with a shrug and returned to her seat, kicking her hooves out of sheer boredom. The vibrating and reclining seat held zero interest anymore (she couldn't imagine what the hay a Cutie Mark for playing with an airplane seat would look like either), and she'd hidden the heat switch she'd broken off on accident in the map pocket in front of her; hopefully nopony would notice. After another fifteen minutes of silence, she voiced her question once more, and this time she received a kick under her seat from Big Beard. Shut up.

"I take it Scootaloo's not one for sitting still," James chuckled. He and Sweetie Belle had talked off and on for the past few hours and learned quite a bit about each other, but every time the subject seemed poised to turn towards James' occupation or Sweetie Belle's family, the subject was quickly diverted by a serious of coughs, sneezes, or other less-subtle changes of pace like getting up and visiting the lavatory adjacent to the cockpit doors.

"Nah, she's all about moving around fast," Sweetie Belle replied, munching on some celery Jan had brought her. Thankfully Jan had had enough sense to not offer the CMC anything sugary or else the plane might have exploded by now. "Races around on a scooter back in Ponyville all the time."

"Heh, I'll bet," James chuckled, not having the heart to tell her she'd told him that already as their conversation continued to loop on itself, each intent on keeping some facet of their lives private. Plus, being only a little filly, James imagined she didn't have much else to talk about outside of school and gaining her cutie mark, so maybe she'd really run out of things to say and was just trying to fill the silence out of boredom herself. James looked up as Scootaloo and the heavset bearded guy engaged in a staring contest and sighed. "Still, she's asked that an awful lot, almost like she expected it to end much earlier."

"Well, to be honest," Sweetie Belle said as she twiddled her hooves. "I kinda thought it'd be over by now too."

"I know what you mean," James nodded and stretched his arms over his head. "Oof, these twelve hour flights never get any easier-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on a sec!" Scootaloo came bounding over the seats to stare at James in shock. "Did you say twelve hours? As in, half-a-day twelve hours?!"

"Mhm, I did. Why, you act like you didn't know-" but Scootaloo had already grabbed Sweetie Belle by the shoulders and was shaking her rather violently.

"Twelve hours, Sweetie Belle?! TWELVE HOURS!! What the feathering hoof's wrong with you!?" Applebloom rushed over to help, drawing startled looks from the passengers at the sight of the three loudly squabbling fillies. James shrugged his helpless apologies to them before trying to decide if he wanted to reach into the raging fur/feather/horn ball that had fallen off into the aisle next to him.

"I thought it was a joke on the ticket!" Sweetie Belle squeaked in alarm as she tried to push Scootaloo off of her, eventually grabbing a menu and swatting her in the head with it. "I didn't think it was real, I swear!!"

"Scootaloo, ya'll gotta cool it; everypony's starin' at ya'll!" Applebloom cried, but it wasn't until James made up his mind to reach in there and separate them that they calmed down.

"Twelve bucking hours..." Scootaloo grumbled as Jan escorted her back to her seat. "Can't believe these horseapples. How many hours has it been so far?"

"Four," James answered, but that was far from any salvation Scootaloo sought, and she tossed her purple-maned head back and groaned once more.

"Eight more hours, that's like forever! What're we supposed to to do eight stinkin' hours?!"

"Ya'll could take a nap," Applebloom offered before a balled up menu sailed across the seat and plonked her in the head. "Ow, or not..." she rubbed her head before inspiration struck her. "Hey, Ah got an idea!"
Meanwhile, somewhere back in Equestria, Discord felt a disturbance in The Force...

Author's Note

And now we kinda know where the CMC picked up their squabbling habits from ^^;
And for the record, I have nothing against people from California, that's just how many used to talk in the 90's (I don't think it's NEARLY as bad now).

Chapter Tres

"21...22...23," the Applebloom's excited voice filled the airliner cabin with its country twang and the first-class passengers with a certain sense of apprehension; well, the ones who hadn't gone to sleep in their nice comfy seats, anyway. For the ones that hadn't, no amount of heating, vibration, or strong liquor brought by Jan the flight attendant could calm their nerves stretched to the breaking point by what they'd first assumed to be three innocent little fillies. For the second time that day, Discord felt a disturbance in the Force, and it left him snickering to himself, though he had no idea why. Hmph, somepony somewhere must be causing some wonderful chaos!

"34...35...hee-hee, 36..." the yellow filly's bright red bow bobbed up and down in time with her tiny giggles.

The past couple of hours had been filled with energetic hijinks of all sorts, ranging from freeze-tag, to Marco Polo (which of course, being ponies, had everything to do with kicking a ball up and down the aisles while blind-folded), and a particularly rowdy game of "dodge-the-airline stewardess," who was just about ready to jump off the plane rather than face the impending wrath of her boss once the passengers complained about what these three fillies had been doing. High-rollers or not, this was well beyond ridiculous!

"43...44...45..." Applebloom continued to giggle and count, her muzzle buried in her hooves as filly-sized rumbles and snickering filtered down from the storage bins overhead

Just WHAT were those ponies up to NOW?!

All the while, James Wilkins continued to keep his cool and stay reclined in his seat, only once or twice peeking out from eyelids that feigned sleep on this long and arduous journey. Rowdy fillies or not, they were hardly dangerous compared to whom his supervisors suspected might be on this flight...

"48...49...50! Ready or not, here Ah come!" Applebloom suddenly sprang up
Still, he was finding them to be terribly-

"AGH!!!" The flustered combination of squeak and squeal sounded from the overhead storage bin above James as its hatch fell open and Sweetie Belle tumbled out. The flailing unicorn (who had no business trying to fly) knocked James' glasses off and fell on his meal tray, catapulting his orange juice over the seat and into the lap and chest of a suddenly awake and enraged elderly gentleman who'd had just about enough of these ponies!

"Ridiculous!"

That's the word I was looking for, James thought as the gentleman whirled to glare down his round nose at the equally red-faced filly, orange juice spewing from his walrus-like mustache.
"Utterly ridiculous! Didn't your parents teach you any better!?" he turned his gaze upon Scootaloo and Applebloom peering out from the storage bin and from under the seats respectively. "Well?"

"Uh..." Sweetie Belle rubbed her mane for a moment, her eyes darting from the floor to her friends and back. Here we go again, she thought. "I kinda live with my sister cuz my parents are always going to hoofball games and on vacation and stuff."

"W-what?" the gentleman cocked his head in confusion as Applebloom took her well-rehearsed turn.

"Mah parents are dead," she declared with a bit too much enthusiasm, just wanting to get back to playing hide and seek and not catching the agape mouth of the shocked older man. "Scoots?"

"Eh, I still don't wanna talk about it," the pegasus filly waved a dismissive hoof before diving back into the storage bins, her trail of destruction illustrated by the occasional crashings of undoubtedly fragile things from overhead.

"Eeyup," Applebloom declared with a bob of her red bowed head and scrambled out from under the seats, helping Sweetie Belle untangle herself from James' meal tray before they galloped off down the aisle. As she did so, the elderly gentleman shakily sat back down and tried to go back to sleep, a bit embarrassed that he'd shouted so harshly at the poor fillies, unknowingly becoming yet another member of that particular club. Meanwhile though, James saw right through their act and could only shake his head and chuckle lightly.

They were good, alright...too good. He'd have to keep an even closer eye on them, not just on this flight, but possibly even beyond depending on the amount of chaos they created-

"HEY GIRLS! Ah've got the best idea ever!" Applebloom's voice carried from near the cockpit, causing a fresh bout of indigestion among the majority of the passengers within earshot. "Let's see how many people's seats we can jump over without missing!"

You can't be serious, James cocked a concerned eyebrow as Jan sneaked a subtle nip of brandy out of the plane's fridge. The stewardess locked her helpless gaze with his for a moment, realized he wasn't going to be much help, then took a second, much less subtle swig.

"That sounds like fun!" Sweetie Belle grinned and prepared to climb up onto the nearest seat.

They're serious, James groaned as Scootaloo followed suit, her tiny wings buzzing.

"Haha, I've got wings and you don't!"

"Hey, no fair!" Sweetie Belle squeaked in protest as the pegasus raspberried her.

"Nopony said I couldn't, so there! No take-backsies!"

"That doesn't even count here, Scootaloo! Applebloom, do something!" But the earth pony filly could only shrug helplessly.

"She's got a point."

"OH COME ON!" the unicorn tossed her hooves towards the ceiling, but to no avail.

"Pfft, whatever. You're just scared to lose," the pegasus filly sneered as she judged the distances between the seats. "Applebloom, this idea is the bomb!"

Oh...shit James' eyes widened, hoping that nobody had heard that. But of course they did as evidenced by the growing murmur amongst the passengers at the rambunctious pegasus' naive wording.

"Oh god, she said bomb," Scootaloo's ears caught the near-whisper from behind. She turned to see a blonde woman leaning into a man with a tan as orange as Applejack.

"Yeah, so?" Scootaloo cocked her head. "You got a problem with it or something?"

"Uh, yeah. You can't say that on an airplane, kid," the man shook his finger at her.

"Why not?"

"Seriously? Kid, don't you watch the news?" Mr. Spray Tan scoffed. "Or don't you have that sorta thing in that backwater place, Equestria?"

"What the hay?!" Applebloom jumped onto the seat next to Scootaloo. "Equestria ain't a backwater! So what if they've got a lotta farms-"

"Baaackwater," the man droned and laughed dismissively, his wife snickering as well.

"'Sides, that ain't tha point here anyway," Applebloom shook her hoof right back at the couple. "Tha point is ya'll are getting stirred up over mah friend sayin' 'bomb.' Who cares what she says? It ain't like she's got a bomb!"

"It's the principle of it, child," the elderly gentleman from earlier chimed in. "You can't say that here!"

"But why not?" Sweetie Belle queried. "Why would she have a bomb on an airplane anyway?"

"To blow us all up!" the heavyset, bearded man cried in a wheezy voice that grated on James' nerves. But before he could silence the behemoth, all hell began to break loose.

"She's going to blow us all up with a bomb?!" a frightened passenger a few rows back leaned out and stared up the aisle.

"She is?!"

"Oh shit, really?!"

"Oh god, why'd I wanna go to Japan today?!"

"I'm not gonna blow anypony up!" Scootaloo shouted. "What the hay is wrong with you guys?! I mean, if I had a bomb, I'd get blown up too!"

"She's going to blow herself up too!!"

"What? No! Argh, you humans get freaked out over the dumbest stuff!" The pegasus face-hoofed.

"You know, if we really wanted to take you guys out, we'd just bring a gun or something," Sweetie Belle mumbled, but not quite quietly enough.

"THEY'RE PLANNING TO TAKE US ALL OUT WITH A GUN!!!" the heavyset man bellowed loudly enough for the pilot and co-pilot to hear, prompting the latter to open the cockpit door and stare out at the growing consternation behind them. Like Jan, he too locked eyes with James as if to say do something already before shutting the door again.

"So much for catching some decent Z's on this one," James muttered before rising from his seat, stepping out-all five foot-three of him-and observing the rising panic popping up among the passengers like Redenbacher in a forest fire. "Alright folks, calm down," he raised his hands and patted the air to get their attention. "It's all under control."

"And just who the hell are you to give orders, shorty?" Spray Tan scoffed. But his eyes widened fearfully as James' hand reached into his suit jacket and the man caught the glint of a metal pistol barrel under the fabric; a SIG Sauer P229, to be exact. "Whoa man, take it easy!" Spray Tan jumped back and nearly into his confused wife's lap.

But instead of pulling the gun from his suit, James rolled his eyes in irritation at the man and withdrew his hand, his fingers clenched around a blue and brass badge emblazoned with the words UNITED STATES FEDERAL AIR MARSHAL. The badge gleamed in the overhead lights as he raised it above the noise of the restless passengers. Meanwhile, the Applebloom and Scootaloo cocked their heads in confusion. What the hay was a-

"Like I said, it's all under control! Young fillies," James turned towards the ponies with a serious expression so swiftly replacing his kindly features that he suddenly looked much taller than his slight frame had any business being. He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and approached the ponies with authority. "You're going to have to come with me now."

"But what did we do wrong? And who the hay are you?" Scootaloo protested before Sweetie Belle nudged her sharply with a hoof.

"He's an air marshal. They're like the Royal Guard but on planes," the Unicorn filly asserted before turning her green eyes up towards Marshal Wilkins. "I think we're in a lot of trouble, girls." Scootalo continued to scowl defiantly while Applebloom very nearly peed herself on the spot; Grannysmith had told her stories of what the Royal Guard would do to little ponies that misbehaved and the ones she'd seen in person were so big and scary and stoic that it made her shiver every time she locked eyes with one. She couldn't imagine what a human version was like...

"That's highly likely," James nodded solemnly before gesturing towards the back of the plane. "Step lively, ladies and this will go smoothly."

"But we didn't do-" Scootaloo began before both Applebloom and Sweetie Belle jammed their hooves in her rowdy mouth and shuffled her off ahead of them, with Marshal Wilkins close behind.

"Jan, give the passengers all a round on me," James nodded at the flustered airline stewardess before he led the fillies back to the Coach section, pulling the class dividing curtain to behind him and shutting them off from the prying gaze of the passengers eager to see the three fillies get their just desserts.

"So, are you gonna like, read us our rights or something?" Scootaloo queried as soon as her muzzle was free from her friends' hooves. But to her surprise, James merely chuckled and shook his head before tucking his badge away and kneeling down to their level. "W-what's so funny about you dragging us back here and arresting us, huh?"

"First off, calm down young lady," James clapped a hand onto her small shoulder and smiled, this time just as kindly as before, and it thoroughly confused the Pegasus filly. "You're only in as much trouble as you put yourself in back here, and right now you're still ok. I just had to get you three away from those scared people out there. Secondly, who said you were under arrest?"

"Aren't we, though?" Scootaloo squinted up at him, trying to gauge the man who'd gone from friendly, to authoritative, and now back to cheerful again. He's like a shorter human version of Celestia or something.

"Haha, one of these days, you'll have to read up on something called Miranda Rights," James shook his head and patted her shoulder once more. "No, you're not under arrest, but I don't want you three going back out there, preferably till we land. You really put a fright into those passengers out there and the longer they think I've got you under arrest, the longer they'll stay calm and the better off we'll all be today."

"But we didn't do anything wrong. Well, at least not out of the ordinary from what we usually do," Applebloom grumbled and scuffed a hoof off the cheap airline carpet as James stared at her in disbelief, wondering how long their Equestrian rap sheet might be in that case, and how in the world they got on the flight if it was really that bad...unless the legal system there was just really lax in comparison.

"Yeah, I mean, all we said was 'bomb' and they got all freaked out," Scootaloo declared.

"Isn't that enough?" James cocked a brow. "Those people out there thought you were a trio of maniacs after that, I'll bet."

"I don't get it," Sweetie Belle spoke up. "We said 'it's not like we have a bomb'."

"You said bomb on an airplane," James replied.

"What's wrong with sayin' 'bomb' on an airplane?" Applebloom queried.

"Really?" The Air Marshal asked in utter disbelief. "What are they teaching you ponies over there?"

"Math, Science, History. Some magic," Sweetie Belle answered with a sincere smile. "That sorta thing mostly."

"Have they taught you anything about Earth history? Specifically airline history?" James rubbed his forehead, trying to fend off an inevitable migraine.

"Rainbow Dash told me you had bombers and stuff in the military way back when!" Scootaloo grinned, zooming around the aisle like a small plane. "Like, what if we were bombardiers on one in the military and we said 'bomb' on an airplane then?"

"But you're not in the-"

"Bomb bomb bomb, bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb!" Scootaloo laughed and jumped onto the seats, leaping off and making exploding noises with her mouth as she attacked invisible bad guys. "Kaboom! Take that!"

"Are you gonna arrest her?" Sweetie Belle asked as Applebloom facehoofed.

"No, luckily for her I'm not," James shook his head for the umpteenth time that day, wishing Jan would bring him some of that no-name beverage she'd been sneaking earlier. "I've got more common sense than those folks out there to know that you fillies don't intend to blow up this plane or shoot anyone."

"Yeah. Ah mean, we don't even have pockets to keep bombs and guns in. Why would they freak out like that?" Applebloom asked.

"Well, when you coop a lot of people up in a small space like this for a long time, it's already stressful enough," James explained as Scootaloo finally "came in for a landing."

"Tell me about it! I'm going crazy not being able to see the sky," the Pegasus filly opined.

"Well, humans aren't much different in that regard. And when you say something like that-"

"You mean 'bomb'?"

"...yes, that," James sighed. "Considering Earth's airline history, it tends to scare people because they can't get away."

"You keep talking about the airline history," Sweetie Belle tugged his sleeve. "What's up with that?"

"Well, it's..." James paused for a moment, wondering if he should spare their naive minds the gory details. But before he could continue, all hell broke loose as he was interrupted by the most horrifyingly unexpected series of noises imaginable from the front of the plane: the sudden sharp crack of a gunshot followed by the screams of dozens of horrified passengers.
From his kneeling position near Scootaloo, James unholstered his gun quicker than thought, his training kicking in as he drew the firearm up to a ready position while he chanced a quick glance down at the 3 confused and scared fillies in coach with him, their eyes glued to his shining SIG pistol.

"Stay back and keep quiet," James ordered with a tone that brooked no argument while he crept towards the dividing curtain, placing himself between the curtain and fillies behind him. He knew that the recently elevated threat level against the airline industry was why he'd been placed on this particular flight, and that although things had turned deathly-serious in an instant on the plane-something his training had taught him could and would happen eventually-that same training had also taught him how to take charge of and keep people safe during these scenarios.
He was ready. He could do this!
But before he could reach the fabric barrier and check on the passengers, the intercom crackled to life overhead.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen...ponies...marshal. This is not your Captain speaking," the voice of the heavyset bearded man filtered thru the cabin above the panicked airline occupants. "And unless you want this plane to make a much quicker-than-scheduled landing in the Pacific Ocean, I strongly suggest you all remain much more calm than you are right now!" The man's sudden outburst caused a fresh bout of screams from the passengers before a second gunshot into the floor did the trick; the cabin fell deathly silent but for the occasional whimper from Jan...then again, it could have been Mr. Spray Tan.

"What is it you want?" James called out down the aisle, trying to peak around the curtain before he heard the groan of the injured Captain over the intercom.

"For you to stay back there and keep those filthy little fillies out of my business," the man replied nastily. "The Captain here can still fly, but only just. The Co-Pilot though...well, he's a different story." A wheezing series of chuckles sounded over the intercom before abruptly ceasing and being replaced by an almost reptilian-cold voice. "Now then...everyone return to your seats. Stay calm. Marshal, stay back there. Captain, put your damn hands back on the controls and fly."

And with that, the marshal heard the slamming of the cockpit door and then silence beyond the curtain. He knew from when he first entered the plane that the cockpit door had a small, circular window thru which the pilot-and by extension the hijacker-could see back down the aisle, and the marshal knew he could likely see his every move even from the far end of the plane. He'd make good on his threat if he saw James try to exit Coach.
James suddenly released the breath he'd been holding for what seemed like an eternity with a great whoosh, deeply inhaling and exhaling twice to calm himself before turning back to the utterly terrified fillies huddled under the seats behind him.

"G-great...so w-what tha hay do we d-do now?" Applebloom's words broke the silence of the Coach section, unknowingly echoing James' exact thoughts. Despite all his training, all the scenarios, all the probable outcomes...he had nothing but 150 feet of open aisle full of terrified hostages between himself and the hijacker behind a locked door with a gun to the head of the only man qualified to fly the damn plane! He didn't know if the co-pilot had been shot or if the hijacker had killed anyone, and he damn sure didn't know his motives. Hell, he couldn't even see what was going on beyond the curtain for fear the hijacker would kill someone else!

Just what could they do?!

Author's Note

Well...that took a scary turn, didn't it? :twilightoops:
My deepest apologies for not having uploaded anything for so long.
Hopefully this kick-starts me back into normalcy :twilightsheepish:
Also, I'm sorry if this seems a bit rough...I AM trying to ride this damn bike after 2+ years of staring at and talking about it after all :facehoof: