Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Wings (But Were Afraid To Ask)

by chief maximus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy
Length: 4101

Twilight gets schooled in the ins and outs of wing ownership by her pegasi pals.

Twilight had always been a diligent researcher. She would routinely pour over every book she had at her disposal in preparation for every royal assignment. Except, sometimes books can only teach one so much. With this heretical idea in mind, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash decide to take it upon themselves to make sure Twilight keeps her wings clean, and doesn't embarrass herself in the sky.

Published 2013-02-22 02:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-22 02:00:02 UTC

Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Wings (But Were Afraid To Ask)

Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Wings (But Were Afraid To Ask)

Twilight rolled over in her bed, glancing at the clock on the wall. Three a.m. This was no time for insomnia, yet sleep was proving quite elusive. Her wings had been keeping her awake, as well as thoughts of all the new responsibilities that came with the tiara.

Before the ceremony, and for the entirety of the after-party, she had managed to keep a lid on her anxiety. However, once she returned to the library, the levee broke, so to speak. Even though her many books on the ruling class had served to comfort her, not even Marechiavelli's The Prince could give her a clear definition of the best possible way to go about preaching the magic of friendship to her new subjects.

What if I spend so much time helping others with their friendship problems, I lose my friends? What if they don't want to be friends with me anymore because I'm a Princess and they aren't? Will they still treat me normally? What if they just pretend to like me because I'm a member of the royal court?

Twilight rubbed her head with her hooves. They were certainly still sore from wearing those ridiculously uncomfortable hoof guards. Celestia and Luna assured her that her hooves would toughen up, but that was no consolation to blisters. Once she'd returned to the library, she quickly cast off her royal regalia in favor of pure nakedness. Her hoof guards piled in the corner, her tiara back in its display case and her dress resting on a form, Twilight sighed heavily, trying in vain to find a comfortable position for her wings.

They were certainly a lot less glamorous at bedtime. Then again, two brand new appendages were bound to take some getting used to. Wings or not, Twilight's mind was certainly not in the sleeping mood. Her friends were very supportive of her new title, and even bowed to her (as uncomfortable as it made her at the time)! Her friends bowed to nopony! Without them, she would have never made it this far.

She made certain to recognize them in her coronation speech, but she still felt their roles had been underplayed, and hated the idea of being elevated above her friends just because she now had a set of wings. Wings that seemed to have a mind of their own, flapping, stiffening and fluttering whenever a base emotion overwhelmed her. She'd spent half the ceremony with her wings splayed out like the sails of a shore bound schooner!

She had done countless hours of research on the anatomy of pegasi, and there was no doubt the other pegasi in attendance, as well as the princesses themselves realized what a faux pas she was committing. Mortifying embarrassment aside, she had managed to negotiate the social pressures of a royal reception with relative ease, though the princesses were by her side throughout the event.

At four thirty in the morning, her eyelids finally began to grow heavy, finally allowing her a few precious hours of sleep.

Rainbow Dash knocked loudly on the library door. "Twilight?" She waited a moment, but patience was never her strong suit. "Twilight, I know you're in there!"

Heavy hoofsteps pounded down the stairs as Twilight flung the door open, her eyes squinting against the rising sun. "Rainbow... it's not even six yet!" she moaned. "How are you not tired from the coronation party?"

"Partying isn't tiring to normal ponies, Twilight," she replied, brushing past Twilight. "Besides, now that you have wings, you need to learn how to use them." Rainbow looked over her shoulder with a smirk. "Nice stiffy, by the way."

Twilight whirled her head over her shoulders, blushing heavily. Only now realizing her morning wings had been standing out like an eagle's in flight. "It's a natural part of having wings!" she snapped.

"Relax, Twi, I'm not here to judge, I'm here to help." She hovered over to the couch and sat down. "So what's for breakfast?"

Twilight frowned. "I appreciate the concern, but I don't need help, Rainbow." She opened the cupboard and fetched her teapot and box of scones. She set a few pastries on a plate while trying to will her wings to fold neatly by her sides. "Besides, I can fly just fine, in case you didn't see me yesterday."

"Pfft. C'mon Twi." She waved a hoof dismissively. "One loop? That's amateur stuff. No friend of mine is gonna be stuck with just one trick."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What about Fluttershy?"

Rainbow sighed. "She's a lost cause." Twilight zapped the plate of scones with a heat spell and set her tea kettle on the stove. "Besides, you're a princess now. You've got to set a good example!"

Setting the scones on the coffee table, Rainbow wasted no time stuffing half of one in her mouth. "How is endangering my life with insane stunts setting a good example?"

Dash nearly spit the scone all over her host. "How isn't it?" Twilight opened her mouth to reply, but Dash did it for her. "What if there's a pegasus filly out there with no motivation to do well in flight school until she sees Princess Twilight soaring awesomely through the clouds and zipping across the skies of Cloudsdale?" she said, gesturing wildly. "What if she never gets inspired to become an ace flier?"

Twilight took a bite of her scone, slowly chewing. She had not considered her responsibility to all the pony races she now represented. "Exactly!" Rainbow concluded, finishing her breakfast.

She closed her eyes and smiled smugly. "Rainbow, I can't just leave the library unattended. What if somepony needs a book?"

Dash leveled her eyes. "Spike! Can you watch the library?" Rainbow shouted towards the upstairs loft.

"Gotcha!" he yelled back. Dash gestured to her room, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, he has been having some back pain lately... I guess I can give him an easy day," she reasoned. "When is this 'help' supposed to begin, exactly?"

Rainbow put a hoof to her chin. "Hmm... how about right now?"  Before Twilight could react, Dash had taken her by the forelegs, yanking her into the air and out her front door.

"Rainbow Dash!" she screamed as her impromptu instructor carried her into the heavens.

"What?" she asked teasingly. "I thought you already knew how to fly?" Rainbow slowed down, dropping her on a cloud.

"I do know how to fly," she insisted, ruffling her feathers. "I just don't know how to do anything dangerous, and neither should anypony else!"

"Bah!" Rainbow balked. "That's sissy talk. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be a regular back-up Wonderbolt!" she finished, beaming with pride.

"Dash, I appreciate the offer, but I just don't think flying is that important to being a princess," Twilight began. "Besides, the pegasi aren't the only ponies I have to think about, you know." The shine in Rainbow's eyes faded like a campfire smothered by dirt.

"I... I just thought you might want to get a little better at it..."

Twilight's expression softened. A look of realization came over her. She hovered off the cloud and beside Rainbow. "Okay, I guess I could be your new 'flying buddy.'" Rainbow threw her into a hug.

"I knew you would be, Twilight!"

Returning the hug, she hovered next to her instructor expectantly. "Well, what now?"

Rainbow folded her forelegs after retrieving a drill instructor's campaign hat and a whistle. "I'm glad you asked." A shrill blast from her whistle made Twilight cringe. "Hover at attention, recruit Sparkle!"

Twilight looked at her vacantly. "I don't know what that is—"

"You will speak when spoken to!" Dash shouted. "Forelegs by your sides! Hind legs together!" On reflex, she followed Rainbow's orders. "Now, you may be asking yourself, why would I need to know how to fly any better than I do now?" Twilight couldn't deny that. "I'll tell you why!" she barked. "Because, in the event that you are trapped in a triple canopy jungle, surrounded by hydras, there will be only one way out!" Dash hovered nose to nose with Twilight. "Flight."

"Well, I could just telepor—"

"Your horn is as limp as a cooked spaghetti noodle because you've just run through a field of poison joke!" Dash countered.

Rainbow hovered back and forth in front of Twilight as she continued to expound the virtues of quick and precision flying. "Now, I've set up this obstacle course for you to use." She motioned a hoof towards a series of rings, walls, and a flaming hoop of clouds. "Once you complete this course, you'll be worthy of the title: Rainbow's Flying Buddy." Rainbow paused, her hooves behind her back. "Any questions?"

"Well, yeah. That wasn't there a second ago, and how are those clouds on fire?" Twilight only received a blast of the whistle in reply.

"That's enough out of you!" Dash shouted. "Fly that course, recruit!" Twilight took a deep breath and pushed forward. Rainbow dragged a hoof across her face more than once as her charge obliterated the cloud barriers she was meant to miss, and missed the barriers she was supposed to plow through.

"No! Ugh, Twilight, this is not brain surgery!"

"I know!" she shouted back, the smell of singed feathers wafting through the air. "I could actually perform brain surgery!"

Rainbow slapped a hoof onto her forehead. "That's not the point!"

After another hour, Twilight was exhausted, her wings struggling to keep her aloft. "Okay, now we need to test how well you handle altitude."

Twilight gulped. "A-altitude?"

"That's right. What if you have to get somewhere, but there's a thunderstorm in the way?" Rainbow asked. "You can't fly through it, or under it, so you gotta fly over it, and they can go as high as sixty-thousand feet!"

Twilight's jaw dropped. "Rainbow, I'm not flying eleven miles into the air!"

"And I don't expect you to. We'll only go as high as you feel comfortable, okay?"

She sighed. At least it wasn't more drills. "Rainbow... I don't really like heights all that much..."

"It's okay, I'll be right there with you," she assured her. "Now give me your hooves." Twilight hesitantly extended her forelegs and Rainbow took her hooves. "Ready?" She nodded, her eyes shut tightly. "Okay, now flap as hard as you can!"

Twilight strained her tired muscles and felt the air move around her. After what felt like hours, she cracked open one eye. A scream caught in her throat as she slammed her eye shut once again.

"It's okay, Twilight, you're doing great!" Dash encouraged.

"Don't let go! Don't let go!" she begged.

"I won't, I promise!"

Her breaths became deeper and more ragged as Twilight felt her muscles begin to tire. "Rainbow, my wings hurt," she whimpered. "What if I quit flying? I don't want to fall!"

The comfort of Dash's hooves against hers was the only thing keeping her panic in check. "Don't worry, I won't let you fall," Rainbow assured her. "You're almost there!" Twilight decided to open her eyes again, only to squeal in terror. She was so high up, the curvature of the planet seemed visible! "Just a few more flaps!"

Without warning, she felt the soft yet cold material of a thin ice layer break over her tired wings. Dash's hooves pushed her backwards a little, before her hind legs settled on solid cloud. "We're here, you can open your eyes now."

Twilight squinted at first, before her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, Rainbow... it's beautiful!" she gasped. As far as she could see, a field of clouds stretched to the horizon. The ice crystals shimmered in the sun, reflecting every color of the visible spectrum across the boundless sky.

"Yeah, I like to come up here when I need to clear my head," Dash commented, as though this were an everyday occurrence.

"How high up are we?" Twilight asked.

"It's probably best you don't know," she replied. "Now, time for your next test: how well you can pull out of a high speed dive!"

That was the last straw.

"Rainbow... I'm done with this!" she panted.

"Done? But you haven't even tried to fly through Ghastly Gorge with a blindfold on!"

Twilight groaned. "Look, I'm more than willing to be your flying buddy, but I don't need to do something crazy to prove it!"

Rainbow's expression fell. "You're right, Twi. I have been pushing you kinda hard," she sighed. "I dunno what I was thinking..."

Twilight smiled, trotting over to Rainbow while trying to catch her breath. "You just want me to love flying as much as you do, and I appreciate that."

Rainbow blushed, returning her smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right," said Rainbow. "We can skip the rest of the stuff I had planned, if you want." At that moment, a brown pegasus with five o'clock shadow flew beside her with the town mailmare. She carried a box that seemed to be buzzing with the words "Danger" printed in bold red letters across the side.

"Got a delivery for a Rainbow Dash, one hive of killer bees?" Dash smiled sheepishly as Twilight glared at her. "Uh, here's a few bits," she whispered, giving the delivery pony some gold coins from her storage cloud. "Return to sender."

He tipped his hat. "Will do."

"You want to tell me what that was about?" Twilight asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Heh, must've been the wrong Rainbow Dash," she replied, eyes shifting from Twilight to the retreating pegasi. "Say, Twilight, are your wings a little itchy?" Dash asked quickly.

"Well, now that you mention it, they are a little bit... I've just been using broken quills to scratch them so far..." she admitted, with a light blush.

"That's what I thought. Would you mind grabbing my tail for a second?" Twilight glanced at Rainbow's flank skeptically.

"Why?" she asked, placing a hoof around the multi-colored strands.

"Because, this!" she shouted, taking off before Twilight had a chance to let go, pulling her along like a kite loose in a thunderstorm.

"Rainbooooow!" Twilight shouted in protest as she held onto her tail, as though letting go would mean certain death. "What are you doing?!"

"Taking you to the next part of your pegasus training!" she shouted back, continuing to build airspeed.

"I thought you said we were skipping the rest!"

"We are!"

By the time Rainbow had slowed down, Twilight recognized their location. They were hovering just above a cottage at the edge of the Everfree forest. Twilight panted as she tried in vain to fix her disheveled mane and tail. "C'mon, Fluttershy's got the rest of your training today, I gotta get to work."

Twilight's eyes widened. They'd nearly spent three hours doing drills and maneuvers, not to mention climbing to the top of the world! "You missed work just to boss me around?"

Rainbow smiled. "Of course I did! Work is lame, I'd much rather skip that for a few hours to hang with my new flying buddy!" she said, punching Twilight playfully in the foreleg before heading towards the weather factory. "Later, Twi!" she shouted as she flew off.

Twilight glanced below her, spying a yellow pegasus walking out of the cabin with a basket in her mouth. "Fluttershy, up here!" she called, descending until her hooves were safely on the ground again.

"Hello, Twilight," she greeted happily. "Rainbow told me you'd be coming by for some lessons in taking good care of your wings."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "She did?"

"Oh yes, she said you would right after you gave up on the rest of her training." The tired alicorn's mouth drooped in surprise. How did she know I'd quit early?

"Anyway, your wings are probably a bit sore and some feathers are ruffled and out of place, aren't they?" Fluttershy asked, taking a seat on the grass covering her yard before setting the basket near her.

"Actually, they are," Twilight replied, wings hanging limply by her sides.

"Well, that's what these are for." She motioned to the basket, where a bottle of wing spray, a brush, and a set of tweezers rested. "I usually help Rainbow preen too, but she has to work today."

Twilight had been no stranger to the concept, but the instructions in the books and diagrams on proper preening technique could only go so far. Her wings were as sensitive as any other pegasi's, and she was terrified of messing them up by straightening the wrong feather or biting too close to the skin.

"Now then, I suppose you already know a bit about how this works?" Fluttershy asked.

Twilight examined her hooves, pawing the soft grass. "Well, I did some research, but the last time I tried I nearly brought myself to tears."

Fluttershy covered her mouth with a hoof. "Oh dear," she whispered. "Proper preening is a must, Twilight."

"I know, I know..." she moaned, "I've just never had anypony to show me! The princesses are probably too busy, and Spike doesn't have wings, and even if he did they'd just be the leathery kind—"

"That's okay Twilight, that's why I'm here." She smiled, removing the spray and brush from the basket. As she did, a ferret ran from the woods and took the brush in his paws. "Now, just relax, and Mr. Ferret and I will take care of you."

Twilight did as she was told and rested her head on her forelegs. She extended her wings as she felt the tiny paws of Fluttershy's animal helper scurry up her back. She fought the urge to giggle as she took a calming breath. "Preening is a very social activity for pegasi, and we usually only do it with close friends or family," Fluttershy explained, spritzing a bit of the mist on Twilight's left wing.

The cooling sensation soon spread from her primaries down to her leading edges as Fluttershy worked the formula into her tired muscles. Once she had finished, she used the brush to begin straightening out the smaller feathers and extracting any loose down that had formed from her exhaustive flight to the ends of the earth. As she lay on the soft grass, a thought crossed her mind. "So, if you help Rainbow preen, who helps you?"

"Oh, I usually get my songbird friends to help. They have delicate wings of their own," she replied. "Besides, I don't use my wings like Rainbow Dash does, so I don't have to preen as often." Twilight sighed as Fluttershy began rubbing spray on her right wing, while Mr. Ferret continued brushing her left.

"I can see why pegasi would only let those they trust do this," Twilight commented.

"Oh yes, the wings are very sensitive. We use them for expressing emotion just as much as flying." Soon, Fluttershy had moved on to her right wing, a hot breath startling Twilight out of her relaxed state.

"Oh! I'm sorry," Fluttershy said quickly. "I probably should have warned you first, but the best way to clean a wing is with teeth."

Twilight's face scrunched in disgust, but only for a moment. "You... you don't mind?"

"Oh, of course not," Fluttershy replied happily. "It's the best way to remove dirt and mites that might be hiding between your feathers."

The color drained from Twilight's cheeks. "M-mites?"

True to her nature, Fluttershy simply smiled reassuringly at her. "Yes, sometimes critters like to make their home in places that are inconvenient to us, but removing them so they can find a better place to live is no big deal." Twilight extended her wing, choking back giggles as her friend's gentle nibbles tickled her wings.

After a while, the breath she had gotten used to retreated, causing her to raise her head. "Done already?" she yawned.

Fluttershy smiled. "On that side, yes." She trotted over to Twilight's right wing and began diligently working as she had on the left.

"So, if you use your mouth to get the dirt and stuff, what are the tweezers for?"

"Removing twisted feathers, or stubborn bugs."

Twilight's head shot up at the mention of hostile critters in her wings. "Stubborn bugs?"

"Oh yes. I'd rather not hurt them, and the tweezers just give them a little more motivation to move than I would."

Thoroughly disgusted at the idea of Fluttershy having insects in her mouth, Twilight laid her head back down on her forelegs and continued to relax until she had completed her task.

"All done!" Fluttershy chirped. Twilight roused herself and stood up, stretching her forelegs and hind legs like she'd seen Rarity's cat Opal do many times before.

"Thanks again, Fluttershy, my wings feel better already!"

Fluttershy smiled. "Anytime, just be sure to rest them." Twilight sighed, her relief fading quickly. "Something the matter?"

"It's just... everything has been happening so fast lately." Twilight settled beside Fluttershy on the soft grass. "I mean, one minute I get a book from Princess Celestia, the next you all have your memories erased, thinking you're supposed to be doing each others jobs, and the next I have wings!"

Fluttershy nodded. "I suppose it is a bit drastic, isn't it?"

"It's just that, it seemed like Princess Celestia had this whole thing planned out for me, and she kind of... chose my destiny for me, you know?"

Fluttershy cocked her head. "So... you don't want to be a princess?"

"No, it's not that, it's just... it all seems so sudden! I mean, why couldn't we have just all gone back to our lives after I fixed the spell?"

Fluttershy shrugged. "Not part of Celestia's will, I guess," she replied, though she could sense a deeper concern. "Are you afraid we might think less of you because you're a princess?"

Twilight looked away, studying her hooves before glancing back at the aqua-green eyes waiting expectantly for her answer. "Kind of..."

"We would never do that!" Fluttershy insisted. "We love you, Twilight, and no change in title or appearance is going to change that." She nuzzled the new princess affectionately.

"Thanks, Fluttershy." Twilight smiled. "Sometimes I just get so worked up, I forget that my true friends would never think less of me for my accomplishments."

"It's okay, we know how you can get sometimes," Fluttershy giggled. Twilight stood from the yard and stretched her wings before folding them.

"I don't normally do this during the day, but I think I'm going to take a nap," she yawned. "Rainbow wore me out!"

Fluttershy smiled gently. "Yes, she can be quite a hoof-full."

"Bye, Fluttershy, thanks for the preen!"

Twilight decided to walk back to the library instead of teleporting. The cool autumn air chilled her tired wings and gave her plenty of time to think about what Fluttershy had told her. She giggled to herself as she walked, realizing how silly it was for her to worry about her friends abandoning her because of her new appendages and status.

As she approached the library, she noticed Spike hadn't switched the 'closed' sign to 'open'. Coming through the door, ready to give the young dragon a stern talking to about attention to detail, Twilight held her tongue. The books needing to be re-shelved sat exactly where she left them the night before, and a thin layer of dust still coated her bust of Starswirl the Bearded.

"Spike?" she called into her loft, a moan echoing down the stairs, her only reply. She quickly galloped to her bedroom to find her assistant still in his basket where she'd left him this morning, two ice packs resting on his back. "Spike, are you okay?" she asked urgently.

"Ugh... my back hasn't been feeling any better," he moaned. "I thought I pulled a muscle or something, but it's only been getting worse," he complained. Twilight removed the ice packs and gasped.

Two stubby wings had begun to protrude from the scales on his back, about the size of Scootaloo's. "Spike, your wings are growing in!" Twilight exclaimed.

He immediately perked up. "Really? How big are they? You think I can fly with them?" he asked quickly, craning his neck to try and get a look at them.

"Probably not for a while," Twilight commented with a smile. "Just hope that Rainbow Dash—"

"Did I hear somepony say 'wings' in here?" A voice called from Twilight's window, still wearing her drill instructor's cap, while carrying an ominously buzzing box on her back Twilight recognized.

"... doesn't find out."