Trigger at the Crossroads
Prologue - Sure Is A Good Day To Die
I had awoken unexpectedly, by two white figures, staring me down as I lay down on the bed which I had been assigned. Oh how good it's going to be, when I get to leave this god awful place. I slowly opened my eyes. Couldn't I at least get a few hours sleep without being woken up? I rubbed away the dark tone that lay beneath my eyes. I ignored the people who stood near me, and quickly started my morning routine. I couldn't quite remember how long I had been stuck like this, forced into what they said would be, 'rehabilitation'. Rehabilitation, my ass. This has been nothing but one train wreck after another.
I should probably tell you about myself, but no one ever seems to care to listen to what I have to say in anything. It's almost as though my own business, is everyone's business but mine. All this due to the way things had to turn out for me over the past many years. I can almost hear luck, laughing at me from it's high and mighty fortress.
But I digress.
My name is Christopher, but people tend to call me Chris, even though I prefer Christopher. I am 24 years old, but if you didn't know better, I could probably pass off as much older. Doesn't help that I've been stuck in this hellhole for who know's how long. I almost lost track of the days at one point. I honestly can't even remember what day it is. I don't even remember when I last had a birthday.
Oh right, one small detail I should probably mention.
I am completely, and utterly insane. Yup, that's right. I've got an incurable level of extreme paranoia, schizophrenia, and I have a blood hungry alter ego, that can come out at any moment, firing at anyone who has the misfortune of being in my way. Like a gun with the safety off, and the sights are pointing at the closest target. I've been taking Anti-psychotics for god knows how long, but they've been no help to me at all. Most of the doctors I've seen haven't even been able to classify what the cause of my problems even are, if any. They think that I CHOOSE to be the way I am. Believe me, I wouldn't wish what I'm living through on my worst enemy, not that I have very many enemies in the first place. Having to go by every day, not knowing when the trigger is going to be pulled, sending me on a rampage that can last anywhere from a few minutes, to a few hours.
I took the pills that I had routinely taken for the last how ever many days for my life. I knew what was ahead, what was coming my way as soon as I exit those doors that have held me in for so many years. Living in a mental asylum never has been fun, and personally I just want to get this over and done with, as soon as possible. Obviously things must be bad, if I no longer want to even live on this planet anymore. Then again, what was I really leaving? I had lost everything I ever had a longer time ago, and I don't expect to be getting anything given to me any time soon.
"We're going to be taking you to where the procedure will take place shortly" One of the people watching me had said
"I don't really get a say in, this do I?" I replied
Silence.
"Guess not"
Living the way I have, doesn't help when the workers here can't seem to have a freaking sense of humor.
As you can probably tell, I'm not going to miss anything from this place, I never was one to grow attached to something, yet alone this. Doesn't help that I'm surrounded by people who have had to suffer a far worse fate than I have. I was at least fortunate enough to get my own room, and my own bed. Some of the others living here, weren't so fortunate.
The people who work here, truly are monsters. They don't care about us, and whether or not we suffer. The government doesn't care about us in the slightest. Heck, they're the ones who throw us in here in the first place, just leaving us to slowly rot away, tortured by those who are here to 'help' us. The last time anyone ever helped me has long since passed. I'm starting to believe that all of humanity has given up on me, I mean, look at me.
Those in my family, that even so much as know about me, don't want to be associated with me, my friends just left me as soon as I got in here. Even the pastor at my church, who I had quite a good relationship, turned away from me, when I nearly attacked a guest. How ironic that a man of god has left me, heading straight for what feels like the furthest depths of hell right now.
So why am I leaving, when I clearly still have a problem? Well someone had the brilliant idea to 'transfer' me to a more desirable location. And by transferring, they mean, sending me straight to the god-damn electric chair. That's right, not being shot in the head, no cyanide, no axe to the head. They WANT me to die painfully. They'll probably get a kick out of shocking me a few times before they deal the final blow. At least I'll go out with sparks flying.
Why do I antagonize them so much? Well, you would to, if every single day, you and others were being beaten for no reason. Being sent to doctors, who do nothing put try and make you angry. I wouldn't be surprised if any of these people weren't actually doctors. They're supposed to be preparing us for when we are let back out into the open world, but we can't get that either, can we? You know what they teach us in our 'classes'? Nothing. We're just told to sit there, and stare out into nothing, and if anyone of so much as moves an inch, they whip you, and take you to solitary confinement. This is the kind of treatment you get from being in the middle of nowhere. I can't even remember where I am anymore. I'm living the worst possible life right now, and I'm just hoping that dying will relieve me as much as I hope it does.
I hurry myself, as I realize just how pleasurable the sound of not living actually sounds. I might even make myself look somewhat decent for the occasion. Too bad I can't where a tuxedo. That would of been fun, strolling into the room in the fanciest clothing that money could buy, and going forward with such excitement that would make people cringe, to see how much I welcome death. They think that killing me off, will silence me from the horrors of this place, but frankly, silence is what I intended to keep anyway. No point living if no one is going to respect you as being the person you are, rather than some number, with a medical condition known to cause harm to others.
"Well boys, my time spent here has been fun. I'm going to miss all the wonders this place has done for me. Huh, I think I might even shed a tear" I sarcastically said.
"Yeah, good riddance." I take it back, they do have a sense of humor, just a very sick sense of humor.
I walk past them, whistling the happiest tune I could make. I slam myself through the double doors, that were conveniently unlocked for the occasion. I put on a smile, and do a quick happy jump, as a way to show these people what they're really doing for me. If I didn't have any dignity left, I probably would of danced in the middle of the corridors, which have surrounded me for as long as I can remember being here. Today was going to be a good day. I could already feel it.
I take the final turn towards the execution room. I rest my hand on the door, that will lead me to my fate, the day I've been waiting for, all these years, that has eluded me until now. As I slowly opened the door, I felt almost as though everything was already slipping away. It was as though I had a heavy load taken off my back. I felt more alive then I ever had. Funny how death can make someone like me feel.
"Today, is a good day to die!"
"Stop!"
I just ignored it. I didn't care what they thought of what I did, it felt right. That was until I heard the footsteps get closer. I opened my eyes, and what I saw shocked me.
Light.
But not just any light, nooo, it was bright. Very bright. I couldn't see anything but white. At first I thought it was just some eerie lighting system they put in here. But no, that couldn't possibly be it. I turned around to face the voices who we're calling out to me. They started to fade away off into the white expanse. Everything around me started to follow suit. I looked at my hands, and saw that they too were fading away from me. It felt as though I was being disconnected from reality. As if I was no longer awake. For all I know I could have fell unconscious, or maybe I was dreaming to begin with. Yeah, I must of, this morning was going to easy anyway, it had to be.
But then the pain came. Oh, the excruciating pain. There were pops coming from every possible joint in my body, as they all dislocated, while the sharp pain increased. My arms and legs felt as though they were being stretched out of my own body. My head felt like it got hit with a direct hit from a sledgehammer. Then, out of nowhere, my arms split off from my torso, blood leaking out, into the white, never ending expanse. Part of my shoulder bones still sticking out, as it burned up. Oh how it burned. Everything felt like it was on hot coals. It was unbearable the amount of pain I was going through. Next came my legs. This time however, they were pretty much cut off, rather than pulled off.
Why?
All I had wanted from this day, was to die, to not have to live through the pain anymore, everything that I had built up inside till this day. Now instead of dying, I feel as though I'm being ripped apart piece by piece. Why was this happening? Who was doing this? HOW are they doing this.
I didn't really expect an answer, all I wanted was for this to stop. And as though my wish had been granted. The pain started to fade away. I felt as though I was in one piece again. What? This couldn't be happening. Nothing seemed to be making sense. What had just happened? I wasn't sure in the slightest. Before I could come to any conclusions, my vision started to dim. The whiteness started clearing up.
I was frightened. Never in my life had I been so scared for my own safety, having to live through the unknown, never knowing what will happen next. My life never was a planned series of events, but it had some predictability to it, and I didn't have to be scared of the unknown, but this.. this was new.
This had to be planned. Someone was out to get me. What if they wanted me dead? What if they wanted me to suffer? What if this was some weird government conspiracy? What if everything I've ever known wasn't real? What if I'm only now waking up for the first time? What if there is no reality? What if I am at the very center of it all, and the universe is trying to do whatever it can to infuriate me? Yes, that's right, the universe is out to get me. Everything is out to make my life a living hell. Everything I've ever been through. Yes, that has to be right. Everyone is in on it. This is some sick joke that people chose to play on me. Yes, me, they want me to laugh at my misfortune. They want to cause me misfortune. Yes, that's it. I was the lucky kid people decided would be their emotional punching bag. The universe wanted me this way, to laugh in my face, push me down, and pick me up for more.
I very quickly calm myself down. With everything that has happened right now, I can't let my paranoid nature get the best of me, again. I had to remain reasonable, not let this situation get the best of me, whatever this situation is.
Slowly, but surely, I start to regain my vision, only for it to lead to darkness. Was I now blind? I didn't feel blind. Surely I must either be dead, or stuck without light, somewhere unknown to me. Where am I? I'm definitely not in the mental asylum, no. I'm not in any city either, because I can't hear anything. What if I'm deaf?
CRACK.
Nope, definitely not deaf. Was that a crack? Sounded like a twig being stomped on. I guess that I must be either somewhere rural, in the country side, or I'm surrounded by trees. Either that, or my schizophrenic self thought it could play a joke on me. WELL IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY!
Calm down, calm down, just take deeep breathes... Right at that moment, I felt my stomach churning. Oh no, this can't be good. Before I could even think what was happening, blood, and vomit lay fresh in front of my face. I had emptied my entire stomach onto the ground. I'm not wanting to fill it back up anytime soon either. I don't want to be wherever I am right now.
I must try and remain rational. I already am forcing my irrational side to the back of my head, and I don't want my rational thinking to turn irrational too. If it did, then who would do all the thinking? I did the first thing that came to mind.
"Hellooo? Is anyone there? I'm kind of in need of some help." My croaky, and clearly scared voice echoed through my surroundings. I'm starting to think that being surrounded by trees is quite likely at this point. I really hoped someone was nearby who could help me. I still couldn't see a thing, and my body felt numb all over. If I wanted to move, I needed help.
"Anyone? Somebody? ANYBODY?!".
I heard rustling from some branches, off in the distance. I couldn't make out which direction it was, but I figured whoever it was could possibly find where I am.
"Hey! Over here! I need help!".
"Is there somepony out here?" A refined female voice replied "I heard shouting, is there somepony in need of some help?"
Somepony? Where was I, and why was she talking like she's looking for some stupid lost horse.
"Yes! Over here! Please, I can't see, and I feel as though my whole body had been pulled apart and put back together again." I wasn't lying. It truly did feel as though the experience getting here had actually happened. Despite my inability to feel anything, I could tell I was in pain "I can't move, yet alone stand"
"Ooh dear, that can't be good. Don't worry, for a lady such as myself, would be more than happy to help you, Mr?"
"Ch-Chr-Christopher".
"Christopher? What an unusual name. Anyway, hold tight while I get my boots. Don't want to get mud all over my beautiful coat!"
Coat? How would boots prevent mud from getting on your coat? Wouldn't taking off the coat be better? I don't know, seems like more trouble than it's worth.
"Okay, I'll stay here. Not like I can move anyway. I didn't catch your name?"
Silence. I guess she already left. Well, there's not much I can do, other than wait here, and hope that the person who I spoke with, will come back and help me. I wouldn't blame her if she just left me out here. For the first time since I ended up here, I was able to see some things. I still couldn't see fine detail, but I could at least get the basic shapes of objects.
I heard what sounded like.. hooves? I don't know, something was heading towards me.
"Okay there deary, let me just get yo-o-ou...."
"Uhh, is there something wrong" I look around searching for the source of the voice.
"Get away from me you vile monster!"
"What!?" The nerve of her, to call me a monster!
"AHHH!" She screamed. Why was she screaming? "TWIIIIILLLIiiiiiii...!" I heard the voice shot as she ran away from me. The screaming dimmed down. Twilight? What is up with this woman, whoever she was. Well, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.
*THUNK*
A large branch hit me on the head, and sleep had very quickly taken over.