The Family Appreciation Day Fiasco
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
My Son, The Crime Fighter:
The Family Appreciation Fiasco
Family Appreciation Weekend. A time to be grateful and joyous for the little blessings that all are given with the mere existence of…a family.
Unfortunately, not everyone was such a bastion of pure-heartedness.
"By Celestia's mane, that is the FOULEST music I've EVER heard!" Rarity screeched as she slammed the door shut to her daughter's room, Precious holding a hoof over her head as she headbanged to "Sanders Mathers", aka "S&M", an anthropomorphized artist with a penchant for making fun of EVERYONE and being incapable of singing without throwing in a gratuitous amount of swear words.
"Where did she get that CD from again?" Twilight asked, everyone sitting downstairs in Rarity's design room, sipping on ciders, juices and other respective drinks.
"Pinkie Pie sent it to her as a present. She called it "payback time"." Rarity scowled as Pinkie giggled madly, almost spitting out her lemonade. "I resent this. The concerts I made her attend were GOOD!"
"Not everyone enjoys classical music…" Twilight remarked.
"Classical? No, no, I was always a "Queen" fan myself." Rarity insisted as she put a hoof to her head and swooned. "Oh, Freddy Mercury…taken too soon! Taken too SOON!"
"Yeah, cuz after all, it isn't like OUR music was half as foul as the stuff the kids today are listening to!" Pinkie spoke up. "With such fine, upstanding hits like "Jamie's Got A Gun", "Dude Looks Like A Lady"…"
"Now hold on, that's not the same thing-" Rarity began to say.
"Or maybe "Stacey's Mom"? Or were you thinking of "Timothy", perhaps?" Shinedown asked as everyone but Pinkie Pie flinched.
"Oh, why'dja have to bring up "Timothy"?" Rainbow Dash groaned as she held her head in her hooves. "Everyone in Equestria is trying to forget that bobby little tune about cannibalism ever EXISTED! And to think, it was the most overplayed song on the radio for YEARS before we realized this!"
"We are a rather dumb species." Brainy said bluntly.
"I always thought that song was about a donkey." Pinkie Pie remarked, scratching her head.
"…case in point." Twilight's son spoke again, just as icily as Pinkie Pie put a spoon onto the front of her muzzle after breathing upon it, only for it to fall off. She sighed, then got an idea, taking TWO spoons and putting them over her eyes, using her lids to keep them in place as she made funny faces at Jack N' Box, who laughed uproariously at his mother.
"Woooooh! Ph38r my ultimate power! Ph38r teh me!" She cackled.
"Oh, I wish I had a camera." Fluttershy chuckled, tossing a look back at Marzipan, who was smoking outside of the house, making her groan.
"Me too, but for different reasons." Rainbow Dash said, already planning on ways this could somehow get leaked onto "Ponytube". "Wait." She blinked, looking left and right. "Where's Drizzy? She said she'd be back by now!"
"Why isn't she here?" Shinedown asked.
"She's with Cheerilee and Soarin, remember? They went to go take care of "something important"." Twilight told him.
Rainbow Dash cringed a bit. "Yeah, I…I just thought she'd…she'd be back by now." She muttered as Shinedown sat next to Squirt, rubbing his chin as he looked at Rainbow Dash's quiet, sad look shining from her eyes and Pinkie Pie and Jack N' Box's chuckling faces. The contrast couldn't have been harsher and yet he saw the same problem in both parents…neither one was really connecting to their child…
And as for the ones who were honestly TRYING, well…
"Come on, sweetie, you need to drink your milk. It helps build strong bones." Fluttershy said, pushing the milk forward as Jellybean raised her muzzle up in the air, "harrumphing" as she turned away from her mother, arms folded across her chest.
"Uh-uh." She insisted. "I want CHOCOLATE milk, mom!"
"But honey, Twilight doesn't have any…well how about I go run down to the store?" Fluttershy tentatively asked.
"Yeah, you do that." Jellybean insisted as Squirt looked over at Shinedown, seeing him angrily glare over at Jellybean before giving Fluttershy a single, pleading, "Don't do this" look. She just looked back at him, giving him a resigned smile before walking off and out the door to the library.
None of them really know what… He thought to himself before finally turning to Squirt. "Squirt…today I want to introduce you to the very training techniques that I finally mastered." He told him. "Today we head out to the Everfree Forest."
Everyone else immediately looked over in his direction, eyes widening. "Are you crazy? Taking a little kid in there?!" Rainbow Dash asked, eyes widening.
"I've made the trip a dozen times before, I'll be fine. And he'll be with me, so HE'LL be fine. Squirt needs to learn how to defend himself, doesn't he?" Shinedown reasoned, waving a hoof in the air.
"He IS pathetic." Brainy commented.
"Well I was going to go with "scrawny", maybe…" Appletini remarked. "His body structure IS rather lacking."
"He is a total IDIOT. He looks like the kind of pony who'd trip over his own feet."
"BRAINY!" Twilight shouted. "Don't talk to people like that!"
"I'm just being honest, mom. It IS one of the Elements of Harmony, after all." Brainy remarked with a wry smile.
"Son, y'all are in need of a real SPANKIN'." Applejack growled as she slapped a hoof on the table. "And if I were yer momma, I'd GIVE yeh one right here 'n now!"
"IIII think me and mom better get going." Appletini said, quickly dragging Applejack away. "We promised Big Mac and Bookworm we'd go pick up some extra buckets for making cider anyhow!"
"And I think believe I should get going as well. I promised Precious I would take her to a charming dance club that Ms. Diamond Tiara's opened up. Imagine, OUR Tiara actually being a flourishing entrepreneur!"
"Yeah, imagine…take care." Rainbow Dash said quietly as all of them left the room. "…ugh." She muttered, shaking her head back and forth. "So much obsession with what her KID wants, Precious has her mom wrapped around her hoof, but you better believe this…my mom and dad never paid that much attention to me. I had to be strong, I grew up on GUTS, and I grew up just GREAT!" She insisted, looking around at the parents left here in Twilight's room.
"…" Shinedown looked like he was about to say something. "Dash, I'm not so sure that kind of attitude is really-"
"Word to the wise, Shiney. Your little snip remarks I see brewing in your mouth won't sit well with the big dog." Rainbow Dash said threateningly, raising an eyebrow up as her tone became low and harsh, Shinedown nervously looking away, inwardly groaning.
No…none of them really knew what he needed…did they?
…
…
…
… "No, no, no! Pally, get away from Peter right now! Stop biting him!" Drizzila yelled out, waving her hooves in the air as she shooed an Emperor Penguin male away from another in the cave she and Cheerilee were in at the moment, dozens of penguins all around all crying out and squealing in different pitches. "BAD Pally! BAD penguin!" She cried out, spanking it a little on its little black and white behind. "I just can't control-AGH!"
She let out a high-pitched squeal as she raced over to ANOTHER male, who was smacking the crap out of a different male, who was badly bleeding. Cheerilee took hold of the bleeder and began wrapping a bandage around its left wing as Drizzila shook the penguin in the air, glaring balefully at it. "You're a bad, BAD penguin, Porky! A bad, bad! PENGUIN! Shame on you!" She cried out.
"Don't slap that penguin, Drizzy. It's not their fault, really." Cheerilee insisted as she shook her head back and forth, the enormous reflecting pool behind the small stubby little rock she was sitting on casting dancing aquamarine light from the small holes in the ceiling which filtered in sunlight from the skies above.
"But they're never gonna be able to swim in sync for the performance I've been planning on all week if they don't work together! And how can they do that when I've got three nursing injured wings, two picking fights every ten minutes…" Drizzy began to recite as Cheerilee held up a hoof.
"Drizzila. Think hard. What do all of the penguins who've been in fights have in common?" She asked, her voice as calm and supportive as always, Drizzy stopping for a moment as she scratched her head.
"Well…I…" She mumbled. "…Porky, Peter, Pally, Paul, Percy, Perry-oh. OH!" She gasped. "All of the guys! They're all guys, right?"
"Yes. They're just fighting for the right to be "alpha male". It's mating season in their natural habitat, and their deeply-ingrained instincts are rising up in them, they feel the need to fight over who gets the women."
"Aww, thanks Ms. Cheerilee." Drizzy said, hugging Ms. Cheerilee tightly as she nuzzled her head against the maroon-furred pony's neck. "I owe you so much! You've been such a great help to me these past few weeks."
"Aw, it's the least I can do. I'm always happy to help out a student, besides, I enjoy working with animals AND children." Cheerilee told her as they walked outside of the cave, the penguins following after, Shinedown and Squirt catching their eye as they headed into the forest. "Hey, you two! You'll be at the Family Appreciation Day ceremony at the school tomorrow, won't you? Drizzy's worked up something really special!"
"Wouldn't miss it for anything, Chewy." Shinedown chuckled as Cheerilee blushed, Drizzy looking back at her.
"Chewy? Your nickname is "Chewy"?"
"I used to have to wear braces, all my "r's" came out sounding funny."
"So you were "Cheewiwee"?" Drizzy laughed.
"Yeah, Cheewiwee!" Ms. Cheerilee chuckled back, the two walking off as Squirt sighed a bit.
"Mrs. Dash is gonna be mad when she sees those two together, isn't she?"
"Rainbow Dash doesn't do that." Shinedown said as he shook his mohawked head back and forth. "She bottles up her innermost feelings. She's like a dam. Bit by bit the water builds up and up against a failing wall until finally it all comes pouring out and she can't suppress it anymore. She's the Element of LOYALTY, not "Self-Control"."
Finally they reached the back of the large statue of Nightmare Moon, Shinedown putting his hooves to it and pushing it to the side as a doorway slid open. He and Squirt descended down into musty darkness, as more and more of the light began to fade away and the roughly-hewn-from-the-rock stairway began to become less and less visible.
"I can't see where we're going." Squirt said nervously, a faint whine in his voice before he felt Shinedown very gently lift him up.
"Wrap your arms around my chest." He said, Squirt doing so as Shinedown carried him piggyback-style down the stairway, Squirt nuzzling his head against his adopted father's neck. He closed his eyes, taking in deep breaths before he realized they were actually in an enormous underground roo, of some kind, all hewn from the ground around them. Ornate ritualistic statues were stationed at sections all over the room, with ancient text carved in a circle all around the two. Shinedown helped Squirt down as he felt the small bumps formed by the text in the ground, an awed look in his eye as he regarded the tiny little sparkling bits of mica in the text, making the whole room's floor slightly shine.
"Here, you'll learn." Shinedown said as he stood up on his back legs, concentrating and letting out a long "hoooo" of a breath as he spread his arms out. "Val yan ilor!" He cried out, the runes in the ground lighting up like a million fireflies, the specks of mica rising through the air a little as flaming torches swung out from the walls. "Welcome to the Training Citadel of the Trinity of Inner Strength." He informed Squirt. "Here, you'll learn the Sanguine Condition just as I did."
"This is it." Soarin said as he brushed aside some shrubbery, helping Drizzy and Cheerilee through with their penguins as they found themselves at the edge of an enormous lake, the sun casting its gentle rays down, reflected in the clear surface. It's glow shone brightly off the surface of the lake like a little quilt of pure light as Drizzy blinked in surprise, momentarily caught off guard at the sheer, quiet beauty of it all as the penguins all slipped in, one after another. "Your mother proposed to me here, truth be told. I thought it'd be nice to let your penguins do their training here just as I trained MYSELF to ask your mother to marry me."
He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling wistfully. "Heh. I got down on bent knee so many times, rain or shine, I caught ten colds…but this is my "lucky lake" now. Everything good that ever happened in my life happened here. Here I got met the rest of the Wonderbolts. It was here that I proposed…here was the day Dash told me she was pregnant with you…"
"This means a lot to us both, Squirt." Shinedown said as he put a hoof on Squirt's shoulder. "The Trinity of Inner Strength are Luna's teachings, different from the Elements of Harmony. Not all can master the Elements. But few can master the Sanguine Condition…you, though…you've got the gift. I can tell."
"You can do great things with them." Soarin' said as he gestured back at the penguins. "Go on, baby. Show me your routine…"
"Let's get started!"
…
…
…
… the little red schoolhouse of Ponyville had grown somewhat in the years. It could now fit a considerably larger amount of students…about fifty, six or so as opposed to the thirty that had been previously BARELY able to squeeze in. The sunny flag of Princess Celestia flew overhead as everyone pledged allegiance on the soft green grass outside the schoolhouse, Cheerilee clearing her throat as she stood before the crowd of parents and onlookers.
Family Appreciation Day had finally arrived, and now it was time for the many children and their parents to work together in harmony to show their individual skills.
"First off, we have the lovely Pinkie Pie and her talented son, Jack N' Box, who have decided to do a presentation in honor of our new Changeling student, Squirt!"
Squirt nervously walked up with the two as Jack N' Box began setting up a couple boxes of cooking ingredients and a large mixing bowl, as well as getting out several utensils which he pulled out of his hat. Along with a rabbit, several large colorful strings of flags, a couple dozen pigeons, two loaves of bread, three fishes…
"I read that the Changeling kingdom is undergoing SERIOUS hunger issues." Pinkie Pie said solemnly as she bowed her head. "One in seven Changeling kids will go to bed hungry every night. And I know why! Look at this!" She said, holding up a scrawny little plain yellow cupcake. "It's so TINY! I would be hungry too!"
"We're gonna take care of THIS problem." Jack N' Box said dramatically, putting on a pair of sunglasses as Shinedown looked left and right. Could he hear the "Terminator" music playing as Jack 'N Box began to pour in cake mix into the mixing bowl with some eggs and some milk, Pinkie Pie holding up a whisk and taking the bowl as she began to stir and whip…
And stir and whip…
And STIR…AND WHIP…
"Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip-whip-stir! Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip-whip-stir!"
Everyone began to follow the increasingly rapid motions of her frenzied arm as Squirt, sensing danger approaching, quickly ducked under the chair he was in, Pinkie Pie's voice growing as loud and hysterical as Willy Wonka describing his AMAZING new candy.
"Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip-whip-stir! Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip-whip-stir-WAH!"
SPLORK! The batter went flying EVERYWHERE, covering everybody as Precious was grabbed and held up in front of Drizzy, who was just plain faster than her. Precious immediately let out a shrieking cry of rage as Appletini ducked for cover along with Jellybean, Brainy trying and failing to suppress his snorting laughter as Precious began beating the CRAP out of Drizzy, only to stop when she realized-
"Hey, this tastes pretty good." She said, licking some of the batter off her lips as Precious did the same, everyone tasting themselves and happily doing some kitten-esque self-cleaning as Pinkie Pie nodded in approval.
"Just give me five minutes alone with the population of the Changeling kindom and all the necessary ingredients for some cupcakes and the problem will be gone FOREVER!" She said cheerily, plopping down the cake batter she had into little cupcake molders and putting it into a nearby easy-bake oven, which popped out cupcakes a few minutes later. She handed one to Squirt, smiling down at him as he nibbled at it. "These aren't just baked goods. They're baked AWESOMES." She insisted. "I put all of my heart and soul into these. And my "secret ingredient". Love!"
"Really?"
"That and my body weight in sugar."
TEN MINUTES LATER…
"Y'know the word "rural" is really…really hard to say?" Brainy muttered as he hiccupped a bit, flopping down next to his passed-out mother, a half-eaten third cupcake in his hoof. "…rurrrraaaall…"
"Too…many…cupcakes…" Jellybean sobbed. "…never thought…I'd ever say that…"
"…what am I?" Jack N' Box whispered, looking at himself in the reflection of the easy bake oven, speaking slowly. "We are all MONKEYS!"
Well, needless to say, it took about an hour before everyone finally staggered over to the back of the schoolhouse, where Ms. Cheerilee and Soarin' had dragged out an enormous…SOMETHING…covered in a shroud of some kind. Everyone looked in surprise at each other as Drizzy grinned broadly, striding up to the tank and yanking the cloth out. THWOOP!
Down it came, revealing an enormous tank filled with penguins, all of whom were swimming in perfect synchronization. Soarin' helped Drizzy up onto his shoulders as Rainbow Dash visibly flinched, everyone looking on in awe as Cheerilee and Drizzy raised their hooves up slightly into the air, the penguins rising as one out of the waters.
Higher…higher…then they lowered the hooves, only to point them dramatically UP, as the penguins SOARED out of the water, splashing back down with a PLORK as water went flying through the air in shining droplets. The two swung their arms back and forth as if directing a majestic symphony of avian perfection, the penguins moving perfectly in synch with their trainer's movements, diving, dipping, sweeping, all for an awed audience.
A moment later, the big finale came as the two spun their bodies around, ending in a dramatic sweep as they faced the crowd, the penguins leaping out of the tank in a V-Shape, landing expertly on the ground and doing a dramatic bow with Cheerilee and Drizzilla, as the crowd of parents and kids went positively NUTS over this display, cheering and whistling in surprise and amazement.
"That was freakin' WICKED!" Appletini proclaimed.
"I MUST say, first rate job, Drizzy!" Jack N' Box laughed.
"Simple amazing how perfectly they moved, as if utterly made one with you." Brainy complimented. "Not…disappointing." He decided.
"Wow, coming from you that's like saying "Oh baby, will you marry me"?" Precious said as she rolled her eyes. "…I guess it wasn't really that bad. I thought it was gonna be a lot worse."
"Yeah, I thought this would end in disaster for sure." Spike admitted to Twilight as he held a hand over his mouth to mumble his concerns…right before Drizzy immediately glomped Cheerilee in the biggest hug of her life, everyone whipping their head in her direction.
"Oh, THANK you, Ms. Cheerilee! I-I don't know what to say, you've just been so amazing, and I…I LOVE you!"
You couldn't have rehearsed it any better. Every single person there responded in surprise, shock and horror, some actually going "Uh…ohhhh" as they turned to look at Rainbow Dash, who appeared so totally blindsided by this that she looked like somebody had just smacked her in the face, her mouth slightly hung open, her expression slightly hurt, but her eyes filled ever-so-briefly with a flash of complete and outright FURY…
"UGGGGHHH.." Shinedown mumbled, slapping his face with his hoof. "Oh no. OHHH no."
…
…
…
… June 22rd, 1:02 PM, Sparkle Land
"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Trixie was laughing hysterically as she rolled on the ground outside of the Sparkle Show Extravaganza facility, slapping her hoof against the floor and howling madly, Shinedown frowning visibly down at her as Squirt looked over at the other kids, who were all chatting it up with the cast of the Sparkle Show, eager to watch the next showing…and eagerly waiting for Drizzy to inevitably show up. Precious already had three cruel witticisms lined up in her head. "Are you serious? She actually-HA-HA-HA-HA! I mean, really? Right in front of Rainbow Crash?! Tee-hee-hee-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
"Why did you have to act like such a namby in front of everyone?" Precious asked Drizzy as she nervously poked her head out from behind a garbage can. She'd tried to sneak into the amusement park without them seeing her. In fact, she'd actually been planning on speaking from inside of the garbage can for the rest of the week until she stopped feeling so darn stupid. "Your mom HATES wussies."
"Oh shut up!" Drizzy snapped quickly as Jack N' Box chuckled madly, Jellybean shaking her head back and forth.
"You've got a worse relationship with your mom than I do with my dad. Thanks!" She said cheerily. "Now I'm not bottom of the barrel anymore!"
"That's because you ate everything in between it and you!" Drizzy snapped back.
"Oh gee, another fat joke. Took you all day to think that one up, huh? At least I actually love my mom!" Jellybean caustically replied.
"Oh Ms. Cheerilee! I love you, I looove you! That's all I want to say!" Jack N' Box cackled. "If you love her so much, why don't you marry her? I heard it's legal in Station Square!"
"I don't suppose you have any kind of "repairing relationships" potions." Shinedown asked his sister as Trixie wiped some tears away, shaking her head back and forth.
"I've got love potions, potions to clear away zits, potions to clean your drains and lots and LOTS of flash bangs. Nothing to help that poor schmuck say her real feelings." Trixie insisted. "BUUUUT…" She waved a hoof in the air as Drizzila finally jumped into the trash can and mumbled "Go away" at Appletini when he knocked, deciding to stay in there for the rest of her life.
"But what?"
"Girls will open up to each other in a way they'll NEVER open up to men. I'll go talk to Rainbow Dash and see what she's really thinking…and then the Great and Powerful Trixie will think up a dazzlingly brilliant plan to solve all of this." Trixie decided, grinning triumphantly at Shinedown and Squirt.
TEN MINUTES LATER…
"What do you want, Trixie?" Rainbow Dash muttered balefully, sitting atop a cloud over by the schoolhouse, muttering baleful things under her breath and tossing little chunks of cloud up into the air, only to have them fall back down around her. Her eyes were narrowed, her muscles tense, she was clearly very, VERY furious. "The "Big Dog" doesn't have time for small talk with the queen b-"
"Let's face it, our parents never spent enough time with us." Trixie said bluntly as Rainbow Dash stiffened a bit. "My mom was my favorite, but she went and died. And my dad's emotions consist of being cheery, being cheery and being MORE cheery. In short, I could get more emotional bonding from a blow-up doll of my father than I ever do the few times I ever see him, at least I'd be able to HUG the doll."
"…and?"
"And your daughter clearly feels you're doing to her what your parents did to you. You aren't really connecting, obviously." Trixie said.
"She's being cruel." Rainbow Dash snapped back, whipping her head over the clouds to glare down at Trixie. "You know what THAT treatment is like, Beatrix."
"She's just a kid…" Trixie began, trying to ignore that little jab before an idea began to form. Rainbow Dash was hurt, yes, but she was also clearly jealous. She was turning green with envy.
"She said she loves Ms. Cheerilee! She should…y'know! Be…telling that to…other people. Like…like me. For instance." Rainbow Dash mumbled as she folded her arms over her chest and turned away from Trixie.
"…hmm." Trixie rubbed her chin. An idea was forming. "Y'know…Rainbow Dash…I think the Great and Powerful Trixie might have JUST the solution to this." She insisted, waving a hoof in the air.
…
…
…
…Ms. Cheerilee had been quite happy to come live on Big Mac's farm and set up a little wooden house on some of its finest acres. As happy as Applejack and her friends were to set up a little dinner that Rainbow Dash just HAPPENED to be invited too along with the rest of her dear friends and their children. Applejack led them through a long hallway towards the dining room, past framed portrait after portrait of her buddies and their families, Rainbow Dash sniffing the air as she walked alongside Soarin'.
"Something DOES smell good." She admitted as they sat down at the enormous table that Big Mac and Applejack had set up, Trixie and Shinedown bringing in plate after plate of food as Cheerilee and Rainbow Dash sat next to each other, Drizzy in between her mother and her father as Applejack set down a plate of rolls, Shinedown noticing there was a bruise around her wrist.
"What happened?" He asked as Applejack nervously smiled.
"Ah, it's nothing big. Some big jerk grabbed my wrist too hard."
"Another mugging?" Shinedown asked, raising an eyebrow up, a suspicious tone rising along with it. "That same guy from before?"
"Some folks just don't know when to quit." Applejack chuckled nervously as she rubbed her hooves together. "Well, let's not all jes' sit here with our tummies a'rumblin' and all! Let's git diggin' in!"
"Well, um…er…" Drizzy smiled over at her as she looked down at the apple pie before them. "This IS a very nice pie." She said as she began chewing on it. "You can really taste the apples!"
"Girl, that's my pride 'n joy of ALL mah cookin', be able tah taste the apples."
"So how do you like THEM apples?" Rainbow Dash asked as she pointed at a small batch of caramel apples in the middle of the table, Drizzy taking a bite of one and eagerly chewing.
"Mmmmm! These are GREAT!" She remarked, Trixie giving a clever wink to Shinedown. So far, so good. "How do you get them to be so juicy?"
"I took a risk and let 'em soak up a bit more water n' usual. Hope ya don't mind, Ms. Cheerilee, I know ya prefer the granny green-"
"CHEERILEE?!" Rainbow Dash groaned, slamming her head down onto the table. "Cheerilee, Cheerilee, Cheerilee! That's all YOU ever talk about!" She snapped over at Drizzila. "Well ya know what? I think she WILL mind, cuz if somebody isn't careful with their apples, they'll just go SPLAT all over like…like this!" She grabbed one of the apples and launched it against the wall, the thing splattering into a pulp before their eyes.
"Dash, please-" Soarin' began to say.
"SAVE YOURSELVES!" Marzipan cried out in terror, diving out the nearby window, landing, unfortunately, in cow manure that had been piled up in an open septic tank.
"And while we're on the subject of apples, look at this wallpaper! All reds! So! Totally! BORING!" Rainbow Dash proclaimed, grabbing a chunk of the wallpaper and ripping it off. "Throw some BLUES in here or something! Or some greens! Aren't some apples green?"
"Holy crud, your mom's going insane. Always thought it'd be YOUR mother for the looney bin." Brainy admitted to Jack N' Box.
"Always thought Dash would end up in prison, not the loony bin." He admitted in agreement.
"And this hanging lamp! It couldn't hold a mare's weight!"
"AHHH! No! I spent thirty five bits on-" Applejack began to cry out before the hanging lamp went soaring through the air as Rainbow Dash hovered overhead.
"And while we're at it, y'know what this place needs? A way for unicorns to get in! Get some windows in the roof or something! In fact!" Rainbow Dash went on, her tone becoming harsher and more angry with every single passing minute.
"For the love of Celestia, tell your mom what you told Ms. Cheerilee, fast!" Trixie insisted to Drizzy, shaking her chair. "Or she'll kill us all!"
"Tell her what you tell your stupid penguins every day!" Appletini admitted. "Mostly cuz I'm quickly running out of house!"
"Just TELL her!"
"TELL her!"
"MOM." Drizzy finally proclaimed, Rainbow Dash lowering her fist from the roof, turning to face her daughter as everyone leaned in, eyes widening as even Marzipan climbed up to the window to see what was about to happen.
"…yeah?"
"…I…HATE…YOU!"
"Ohhhhh dear." Cheerilee murmured as Soarin' sighed, walking over to Marzipan.
"Got any room out there?" He asked.
"Come on." Marzipan said sympathetically as Soarin' turned to the others.
"Save yourselves!"
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
My Son, The Crime Fighter:
"Hate Is A Strong Word"
"Well...that could have gone better." Applejack remarked, Rainbow Dash throwing things out of her house and through the windows as Drizzy stormed off, muttering darkly under her breath.
For a long time they just listened to Rainbow Dash's yelling. "You all think this is REAL FUNNY, DON'T YOU?!" She yelled out. "And to think…to think, after all the love I let your father give you, you ungrateful little brat!"
"Dash, please, we wouldn't think that." Pinkie Pie said nervously, though she was OBVIOUSLY not really comfortable talking about this. "Let's just all sit down over some cookies and milk and-"
"I'VE GOT A BUTTER KNIFE! I will rip up the polka-dotted couch you sent to me, I swear!"
"Y-you wouldn't!"
KRRRKKKRRRKRKK!
"Wow, she is trashing the place worse than I did with the potato cannon."
"Don't bring that back up, Marzipan!" Applejack hissed. "We CRIED over the remains of Granny Smith's new hip and OUR new tool shed!"
KRA-THRUCK!
"Think that was our coffee maker..." Soarin' remarked before the actual coffee maker soared out the window and whacked him in the head. "...nope. That was it." He mumbled, plopping unconscious to the ground as Rainbow Dash glared down at him from the attic.
"You're really gonna play the "ugly" card?" Drizzy mumbled, stomping off, a hateful glare in her eyes as she sat down on a nearby tree stump, muttering incoherent swearing as Shinedown instinctively put a hoof on Squirt's shoulder.
"Jack, c'mon, cheer her up."
"Ohhh, no." Jack N' Box insisted to his mom, shaking his head back and forth, not willing to fall on THAT particular grenade for them. "Go call up Precious!"
"She's at the club in town." Rarity sighed as she took out her cell phone, dialing away. "This is a new "Smart Phone". It's supposed to be able to eighteen dozen things at once. Paid top bits for this!"
"Your gigantic hooves are too big to press my buttons. Please hand me to somebody who knows what they're doing."
"Smart-ASS phone is more like it." Marzipan commented as Rarity sighed and pulled out a pair of chopsticks from her little purse, using THEM to push the buttons. Nobody asked why she needed the chopsticks. It wasn't that time. "Come on, honey-bee. Pick up, sweetie…" Rarity quietly wished.
Meanwhile, Precious was dancing on the floor, grooving to a "Doggy Guetta" dance tune with the rest of the club, the Diamond Dog at the DJ studio speaking it up with Sanders Matherson and the stylish Vinyl Scratch about a possible collaboration as Precious giggled with her friends. "Can you BELIEVE it? We're in the same room as the three TITANS of the Mobian Music Industry!" She asked, hearing her phone beginning to ring.
And, of course, her ringtone was "Telephone". She looked down, seeing it was her mother on the caller ID as an idea came to her and she flipped it open, "holding" it to her ear as she waved a hoof in the air, her partygoing pals laughing as she began to mockingly sing. "Hello, hello baby, you called I can't hear a thing! I ain't got no service in the club, you see-see!"
"She's doing that "Telephone" thing again." Rarity muttered under her breath. "I HATE it when she does that. Precious, mommy needs you to come here, everyone's really stressed and something's happened that's affecting-"
"I'm kinda bus-y! I'm kinda bus-y!"
"Precious! I said I need you over here!"
"Shoulda made some plans with me, you knew that I was free!"
"…she's not even remotely listening, is she?" Twilight asked as a chair went soaring out the roof to crash into a nearby tree, Rainbow Dash swearing up a storm.
"Precious, honey? I'm taking you into the doctor's tomorrow for that root canal you needed to get. Just say a clear "no" if you don't want to go."
"Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna talk anymore!"
"Well." Rarity closed her phone with a "THUNK" and stuffed it in her purse. "That's ONE small victory."
"That kind of relationship you've got with your daughter CAN'T be good for either of you." Twilight insisted as Shinedown nervously looked down at Squirt, who nodded up at him. "I mean, that's what? The third time you've "tricked" her into-"
"Well it WORKS. It's how I got her to pick up her room and-"
"...I guess this is a bad time to say that I'm taking Squirt under my wing and teaching him to fight crime alongside me?" Shinedown asked quietly.
All of a sudden, a table leg held in her hoof like a baseball bat…an opportunity presented itself in Rainbow Dash's mind. A chance to leap on an INCREDIBLY ill-advised statement and just rip right into it.
"No WAY!" She announced, sticking her head out a window that had been broken. "Are you FOND of seeing your partners get bullets lodged in them!?"
Shinedown felt something inside of him begin to bubble up as tears immediately sprung to his eyes and he rubbed them out as fast as he could.
"DASH! That's...she didn't mean it like THAT, but...seriously, what are you thinking?" Twilight asked.
"But seriously? Putting the child at such risk?" Rarity asked of him.
"Shinedown, come on, you can't do that." Fluttershy added.
"Look, take it from a man who knows. The life might SEEM all glorious as yer blastin' the beejebus outta people but it ain't." Marzipan told him with a shake of his head, the others giving him a "What did you use to DO?!" type of look. "An' come on, he's too young fer this."
"What're y'all thinkin'?" Applejack added.
"OH FOR-SHUT UP!" Shinedown yelled and threw his hooves in the air, unable to take it anymore. "Shut up, shut up, and shut up, okay?! For Luna's sake, who are any of you to give me advice on anything, let alone parenting? None of you know what it means to be a good parent! Dash is throwing furniture out the window because of what her kid said! You let your daughter treat you and your wife like a doormat!" He said, turning on Marzipan.
"Shinedown, think about-!" Rarity began before Shinedown whipped over to glare at her.
"I have, Rarity! I'm more lucid now than I've been all day! Lucid enough to notice how jealous Rainbow Dash is of the fact that Ms. Cheerilee's been getting more attention than her! And glare all you want, "Big Dog", I'm not afraid of you." He hissed at Rainbow Dash as she glared at him. "Oh no, my husband's only paying attention to my kid, that must be so hard for Little Miss "Look At Meeeee"!"
He turned on Twilight and Rarity. "And what, you two are having problems getting along with your kid? Oh wow, you're probably the first parents that ever did that ever! Course, at least you're TRYING. And Pinkie--" He looked over at her. "There's a difference between being a parent and being a playmate, okay?! That is NOT connecting! But your relationship's the least honest, right after AJ. Funny thing about that guy me and Squirt beat up. He's actually a loan shark."
Applejack paled as Shinedown got in her face. "Didn't feel like sharing the fact that you owed money to him, huh? All I had to do was ask him when he was in jail. You've got a gambling problem, don't you? That's why you made a beeline for the card table. That's something you maybe oughta tell your friends, Applejack. Not telling the whole truth is usually just as bad as outright lying."
"I'm sure she was going to...eventually..." Fluttershy mumbled nervously as Shinedown turned to her.
"Oh, and you? Let's ignore the fact that you told me you couldn't be with me in a relationship not so long ago because for me? It's fun to watch you ruin your relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly? The only thing that helps me sleep at night, you guys, when I'm sitting alone, in my room, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are! And you can't even handle that right!" He said, waving a hoof in the air, snorting a bit. "It's amazing, it really is-"
"SHUT UP!!!"
There were probably several people you would expect those two words from.
…Fluttershy was not one of them. EVERYONE slowly turned their heads to look over at Fluttershy, her eyes tearing up as she stomped on the ground with one hoof, panting slightly.
"How…DARE…you!" She hissed, flying up into the air, smoke visibly pumping out of her nostrils like a train as Shinedown realized he'd totally overstepped and had put both hooves squarely in his mouth.
"Look, Fluttershy, I-" He began to apologize.
Too late. "How Dare you!?!" Fluttershy snapped. "Who do you think you are, telling us we have no idea how to raise our children, when you came to us! You do not talk that way to MY FRIENDS! Yeah, I do spoil my kid and yeah, maybe Rainbow is jealous, but you? You're deliberately going to put him in danger, and you think you can look down on us? And 'connecting'? What do YOU know about connecting? With the way you act! Oh, but of course, you think you know everything. It's the kind of jerk you are!"
"Fluttershy, I didn't mean to be so-"
"No, you shut up!" She went on, tearing up bitterly, hovering back down and turning away from him. "I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of just…having to listen to your garbage again and again! You think we're selfish?! All you ever do is go on and on about how horrible your life has been and how you feel, nopony else! Oh, and Squirt? This isn't about him. No, it's about you and how you feel! That's all it's ever been about, and you can't even see it! You're the one who's selfish! At least with our kids, they're our priority!"
Shinedown looked stunned. An expression of pain was beginning to dawn on his face, like he was literally being stabbed with Fluttershy's biting words as she moved in closer and closer, finally going eye to eye. "Oh, and you want to know why I can't be in a relationship with you? ALL…OF…THAT." She muttered. "You're a selfish, miserable jerk who does nothing but wallow in pity and constantly expects everypony else to cry and pity for him, and even when they do, you throw it back in their faces. Marzipan? He actually acknowledges I have my own feelings and thinks they're important, not just his own, and that I'm not HIS Fluttershy. I'm nopony's Fluttershy. I'm my own pony!"
Nobody said a word as Fluttershy whipped away from him, Shinedown extending a hoof to put on her shoulder, but she shook it off, wheeling back at him to glare for a moment.
"NO! Just get out of here, Shinedown, okay? As far as I'm concerned right now, I don't wanna talk to you again! Stay away from me, my daughter, and my friends!" With that, all of the others stepped away, shaking their heads or biting their lips or frowning at him.
"But-" He tried to say.
"Shinedown…do as she says. Right now, I don't any of the rest of us are in any mood to talk to you, either." Twilight said quietly, Shinedown hanging his head as he slowly ambled off towards Everfree Forest as the others turned to Squirt, who had been standing to the side through it all.
"Well!" He remarked cheerily, rubbing his hooves together as he looked them over. "...while it's real nice to see you guys care about my future…little question. When were you gonna ask ME if I wanted to train with him or not?"
Fluttershy raised a hoof up. "Well obviously you wouldn't-"
His tone turned dead serious and bitting. "I said YES."
Dead silence. Mouths hung open.
"...what?" Brainy began, the young colt actually STUNNED that this little Changeling wimp was actually showing a pair. "…but…his old partner was-and…and he's-"
"I. said. yes. Yeah! He came to you! Yeah! He might be trying to make up for what happened to his old partner! But he asked me if this was what I wanted and I! SAID! YES! He adopted me because I was right in front of him, in need of help, with nobody else to turn to! And I said yes! He treats me like an equal. Nobody else ever did that. None of YOU bothered to ask if this was what I wanted like he did. You all treat me like a kid, like a victim."
"Okay, that was…wrong of us, we…admit it…" Rarity nervously gulped.
"But you're NOT equals, Squirt, not yet." Twilight insisted. "It's nice that he really honestly wants to help, but you're the foal, and HE'S the adult, and that's the way it's going to be for the next few years."
Silence. And then...
"...and…I should have just told him that from the very beginning." Twilight mumbled out.
"I should have just told all of you about my...problem...from the beginning." Applejack admitted.
"I should have just sat down with you and talked like I'm supposed to with a son." Pinkie admitted to Jack N' Box.
"We ALL should have handled ourselves better." Rarity admitted as she looked down at her phone in her purse, then over in the direction of Fluttershy, then over at Everfree Forest, in the direction Shinedown had gone to. "But none of us acted right. We should ALL be ashamed of ourselves, not just him..."
"Look at what's happened to us. One little chink in our armor and suddenly we all come falling down." Twilight sighed. "...we need to get Rainbow Dash and Drizzy back together. I have a feeling that'll be the closure we all need."
"And where are you going?"
"I think I know where HE went!" Twilight yelled back, galloping off.
…
…
…
…the old lake that had been such a beloved childhood memory was empty, save for one resident, who was skipping rocks over it every couple of seconds. Twilight stood there, staring at the back of his head as Shinedown reached down with a single arm, picking up a rock then hurling it through the air, his other arm wrapped around his legs as he sat on the bank of the lake.
"I'm here to talk to you."
"...please just leave me alone. I really don't think it's a good idea for me to be talking to anyone. I don't wanna snap again." He mumbled out.
"I'm not going anywhere." She said firmly, stepping forward. "I think you've already said what you wanted to say. I want to know how long you've been itching to say all that."
"...a while. But it wouldn't have been right to say it."
"Don't put that on. You can criticize all you want; it's a free country. But I will not tolerate is the way you acted."
"The way I said it was like a dam bursting, drowning everyone in a torrent of hateful, caustic CRUD, right?"
"You weren't WRONG, Shinedown, you were just being an JERK!" She stepped closer. "Now. Why are you choosing to adopt Squirt? Straight answer." She insisted, eyes stony.
"...I don't...know...if I really am choosing to adopt Squirt for his sake." He finally admitted, tracing a small circle in the ground. "You can't KNOW your own subconscious reasons for doing things, can you? Can anybody ever really know? I just felt...he needed help. He needed somebody. And it was kinda my fault that he was in that position in the first place, and...I...maybe I saw a bit of myself in him, I don't know, I don't know ANYTHING anymore."
"We're not talking about Squirt anymore, are we? I don't think Fluttershy was entirely right when she said it's about you, but it's certainly now become about you. So let's move on from Squirt for a moment and focus on you, because right now, you're the one who urgently needs a talking to."
"I don't like talking about myself. Despite what some people might think."
"Okay, "selfish jerk" is a bit cruel but…well it's obvious that Squirt's obviously not the only thing worrying you, so who else? ...Fluttershy?"
"...I'm NOT mad at her."
"You're not?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow up. "…then what ARE you feeling?"
"Please just…" Shinedown covered his head with his hooves. "I don't think this is a good idea."
"Just talk."
"…I…I just...wanted her to...be happy. It just...it woulda been nice if she could have been happy with me, is all......oh, LOOK at me! Even when I'm trying to think of her I keep thinking about myself, she's right, I am a selfish idiot!" He held his head in his hooves and shook it back and forth. "I can't believe I said that about all of you! I should have just kept it squashed in my head instead of letting it spill out, I never meant to hurt your feelings, I was just so...FRUSTRATED! I needed help...I STILL need help...I...don't know what to do..."
"Well, first of all, I'm not going to disagree with you, because you're right. You WERE being selfish and you were wrong to act the way you did." Twilight insisted to him as she moved even closer. "But now you've admitted it, and that's the first step to sorting the problem."
"I don't know if there's a way to "sort" this problem." Shinedown told her.
"There IS a way. Look, as much as we have our faults, Shinedown, that doesn't give you the right to talk down to us like garbage. If you want Fluttershy to apologize, you owe an apology to everypony first."
"I'm not sure I can apologize to…him."
"Oh, for…" Twilight groaned. "I KNOW you kinda resent him for taking her, and I know Marizpan can be…kind of…an idiot." She sighed. "And he's really, really annoying sometimes, I admit that, but Pinkie Pie can be like that too!"
"Pinkie Pie's idea of fun is parties and cake. Marzipan's is smoking cigarettes that blow colored smoke and, if what I've heard about what happened to Granny Smith, accidentally shooting people with homemade potato cannons."
"…okay, that was a LITTLE horrific..." Twilight admitted. "she makes him happy-"
"Then I should be happy for her." Shinedown finished. "If he honestly can make her smile, I should be grateful to him."
"Yes." She finished. "THAT'S more like it, Shinedown. Much more like it. Look, I know why you're the way you are, the term is co-dependency. You're a person who looks for someone she can trust unconditionally, and without any kind of guide in your life, you can't carry yourself through life. The first time it was Serge, then it was in Fluttershy…"
"I…" Shinedown flinched. "I…"
"Look, relax. You took Sunset on as your partner because you recognized that, didn't you? By having somebody being able to depend on YOU, you feel like you can be your real self, right?"
"Yeah…I guess." He admitted, standing up.
"You're going to work through this. It's in the open now. And I'm gonna try to help you if I can, alright?" Twilight asked, putting a hoof on his shoulder.
"…Twilight…I…" Shinedown hesitated, then spoke up. "You know what? I think I can help you with what's going on."
"How so?" She asked.
"Let me show you what I showed Squirt." He told her, leading her through the Everfree Forest. "You follow the Solarian School of Thought, which places emphasis on the Elements of Harmony, right? Of course you would, you're Celestia's best student!"
"Well, I don't like to brag. Really, I don't." Twilight insisted as Shinedown reached the statue of Night Mare Moon, a form emerging from behind it as Twilight gasped.
"Young Squirt the Changeling has become MY new student." Princess Luna informed Twilight Sparkle, her starry mane flowing freely as she looked down upon them. "I'm in town for the next few days and have much to teach him, just as I taught Shinedown. Yet I can tell you're in something or a predicament."
"QUITE, my liege." Shinedown said, bowing his head. "It concerns Rainbow Dash…her daughter Drizzila told her she hated her."
Luna gaped as if she'd been smacked in the face with a fish before shaking her head back and forth, her voice turning low and introspective. "How awful. There's nothing more important than the bonds of family. We've got to do something about this. I will talk to her."
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Twilight insisted as Princess Luna walked alongside them. "I respect you thoroughly, my liege, but I can't honestly speak for your interpersonal skills…"
"I have a way with words." Princess Luna told her as they approached Applejack's quickly-becoming-more-ruined-by-the-minute house, all of the other ponies gasping in awe and bowing before Princess Luna as she strode by them, head held high. "Please, please, no groveling…what're you doing, Marzipan?"
"Averting my eyes, oh liege." Marzipan insisted, looking away from her, one hoof covering his face as Luna pulled it away and made him look at her.
"DON'T. It's like those miserable POEMS they make those poor tykes read for English class. They are SO depressing and stuffy." She sighed. "I want to be treated as an equal…just as one who has a bit more experience in…family issues." She added with a hint of hurt as she walked over to Drizzy, who nervously glanced up at her before looking away.
"I'm not averting my eyes out of worship. This is more out of being incredibly uncomfortable around you." She bluntly responded.
"I heard you informed your mother that you hated her."
"My dad's always said "Hate is a strong word". That's why I used it."
"I seem to recall people used to hate me as well. They feared me. Despised me and all I represented, all you see around you…" Luna spread a hoof around her, gesturing at the starry night sky, the faint but firm wind that was wrapping around them, the way all was faintly illuminated by the moon's pale, soft glow. "The night. People had no true love for the night…I thought they hated it as much as they once hated me. Was that true?"
"Who ARE you?"
"GAAAAAH!!!" Everyone else all fell down in a collective, loud groan, Twilight slapping her face with her hood.
"…regardless, I think we all know…save for you…how that turned out. Now why don't we go inside and talk things over?" Luna asked her.
"I…I am NOT goin' in there. I HATE her! She's the worst mom in the WORLD!" Drizzy insisted as she folded her arms across her chest and "harrumphed". "…heh. Feels good every time I say it!"
Luna approached the door and knocked on it, Rainbow Dash slowly opening it up, looking Princess Luna up and down.
Instinctively, she felt the urge to immediately get on HER knees, but she was still riding a wave of furious adrenaline and muttered out "What do you want" at the princess.
"May I talk to you?"
"Alright." Rainbow Dash said, opening the door as Luna gave a nod at the others, everyone glancing around at each other as Luna sat down at a nearby table, Rainbow Dash flying back and forth, pacing angrily in the air as Luna munched on an apple that had yet to be tossed against the wall.
"So…" CRUNCH-CRUNCH-CRUNCH. "Why do you believe your child hates you so much?"
"She's a hateful, contemptuous little BRAT!" Rainbow Dash hissed, waving her hooves in the air, turning red in the face with fury. "She's been whining and screaming and yelling about how I'll never be good enough for years and years! Since the minute she popped outta me she's been a pain!"
"Come now...deep down, just between you and we--we won't tell anypony-- you don't really hate your daughter?" Princess Luna asked, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.
"Yes, I do!"
"But you don't. You can't. She is your daughter."
"Head to tail!"
"No, really..."
"And all her stupid birds!"
"Look, she was a foal once."
"Everypony hated that ugly foal!"
"Hated a foal?!" Princess Luna exclaimed, looking horrified.
"I am NOT sorry! I mean, Dad said my first words were "YOU SHUT UP"." Drizzy mumbled to the others as they looked from the house to her. "And she never let me forget I couldn't fly. That's the only thing she cares about! That's what she wanted, a foal who could fly! I was doomed to failure from the start!"
"She BIT me when I first held her in my arms!"
"No WONDER I bit her when she first held me in her arms!"
"Let me ask you something…" Luna said as she slowly took out a small scroll from a pouch slung around her body. "…do you know of the "Deep Magic"?" She asked Rainbow Dash, a hush falling over the Pegasus as the others could feel a visibly charged air rising around them, all of them slowly inching to the house, trying to listen in. "Of the time before time?"
"…what…is that?" Rainbow Dash whispered as Luna unrolled the scroll, revealing strange words in some kind of odd language she could not really understand. "Is…is that…"
"This deep magic once kept the monstrous Old Guard at bay. It made the Changelings into what they were. It is a powerful force that is nigh-beyond comprehension. And I am offering it to YOU, Rainbow Dash of Ponyville." Luna whispered, her hushed tone more powerful and more deadly than the most booming voice she'd ever spoken to anyone before as real fear creeped into Rainbow Dash. And yet…she found herself inching closer to the scroll to look upon it.
"What does it do?"
"This is the "Armageddon" spell…combined with the Barrier of Life. Speak these words and cast it…and a barrier will surround a target as Armageddon is unleashed upon them…as they are utterly wiped from all existence, every last trace of them lost to the abyss, cast between the dark space between spaces. Forever gone and ne'er to return. You have a "magic wand" to wave, Rainbow Dash of Ponyville…" Luna continued to say, the others peeking in through the windows and the cracks in the door. "Say the words and Drizzila will be gone."
"…I…" Rainbow Dash murmured, her hooves beginning to shake, sweat dribbling down her brow. "I…"
"Go on. Say it."
"…I…"
"SAY IT."
"I…"
"SAY IT!"
"I CAN'T!" Rainbow Dash finally screamed, tossing the spell scroll through the air, falling into a heap on the floor, sobbing as the tears came fully, dribbling down onto the floor beneath her, trickling down her cheek. "I can't, I can't, I CAN'T! She's…still my daughter, she…she's still my baby girl." She murmured. "I…I don't feel so good."
"You really wouldn't obliterate me?" Drizzy asked as she slowly pushed the door open. "You…want me around?"
"I've never NOT wanted you around!" Rainbow Dash mumbled as she turned her head to the side, gritting her teeth. "Drizzy, I…I've always…you know… I was just too stupid to know how to say it. I'm not…good at emotional stuff. Never have been, never will."
"This is like saying "I love you" coming from her." Fluttershy admitted.
"I…want you around…too…" Drizzy finally admitted as she reached down with a hoof, Rainbow Dash looking up at her and taking it. "I thought…you didn't want me."
Rainbow Dash deeply hugged her little girl, trying not to crush her. "Oh, baby…" She whispered, lifting Drizzy onto her back, the two soaring out through one of the many holes in the roof, soaring off into the sky, tiny twinkling dots soaring through the stars.
"It is a start." Princess Luna as the others walked out the door, Shinedown putting a hoof on Squirt's shoulder as he lifted the kid up onto his back.
"Would you like me to teach you how to shoot a taser?" He asked Squirt as they headed out after Drizzy and Rainbow Dash.
"Nonlethal already? REALLY?"
"Um…princess?" Twilight nervously asked Luna as the deep bluish/black pony picked up the scroll to put into her pouch, the others quickly becoming long gone. "The things you said about the "Old Guard" and "Deep Magic"…that wasn't true, right?"
"No. It was. My sister and I fought against entities that dwarfed us in might in a battle that raged across the nexus of realities. But this?" Luna said with a small smile, waving the scroll in the air a little. "This is just a recipe for hair tonic."
"You're getting better at this." Twilight admitted with a bow of her head.
"I know. But I don't like to brag."
