Last night never happened.

by Roseluck

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1175

During the Time Twilight was becomind a god.

This is what occurred when Twilight vanished after she was zapped by the elements of Harmony.

Watch your friends closely.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-21 06:10:01 UTC

Where's Twilight?

As Twilight puts quill to paper and replaces the arcane spell book on the counter, the very power of the incantation she just completed surges through the elements of harmony, infusing their very structural binding to converge into a powerful surge of energy. Each of the elements fires at Twilight, encasing her in a bright orb of magic.

Her friends begin to panic, not having any idea as to what may be going on. The room in illuminated by to lightshow, and the screams of the 5 mares gives the room a more powerful feel somehow.

The ponies didn’t move from their positions. They feared that they may only obstruct the magical process taking place, whatever it was.

Soon the entire building floods with a blinding glow, causing the ponies to shield their eyes.

“Uh, what happened?” Fluttershy asked for the whole group.

As they re examine the scene, they notice that Twilight is missing with a crater taking her place.

The screaming begins again and then turns into worried banter concerning their lavender friend’s whereabouts. They each exchange confused and concerned stares with each other, all expressing the exact same emotion:

Fear.

“D-Did we…” Rarity stammers, not wanting to believe it.

“Ah think so.” Applejack unwillingly accepts.

“Oh no…” Fluttershy begins to tear up.

“HEY!” The voice awakens everypony but the speaker from their melancholy state. They direct their attention to Rainbow Dash, who begins to frantically look outside the window.

“We’re all fucked!” She screams.

Pinkie gasps. “She’s right! We just killed somepony!”

The gravity of the realization sinks in. ‘Oh,’ everyone suddenly realizes, ‘murder is punishable by death.’

“What ever shall we do?” Rarity asks, not wanting to get taken advantage of in prison.

It takes a minute, but Applejack speaks up.

“Ditch the murder weapons!” She says as she throws her element into trashcan.

Everypony follows her lead, tossing their necklace into to can. Rarity then levitates the can to the ceiling, and manages to sew its rim to board.

Rainbow Dash flies up to the can, now attached to the ceiling, and gives it a hard buck, flattening it. It now appears that the trashcan planed on going to the moon using rockets but was thwarted by the solid mass that is the ceiling, thus crushing itself on impact.

It was a good effort, but it still looked conspicuous.

Luckily, Pinkie Pie is there to save the day with a disco ball the size of Reptar’s scrotum and she hung it right there on the trash can.

It was totally inconspicuous now.

With the murder weapons gone, there’s now the whole situation with the crater in the middle of the room.

“We can blame the murder on Spike.” Fluttershy calmly suggests.

“I reckon that’s a good idea,” Applejack agrees, “seein’ that he breathes fire and all.”

“I don’t wanna do that to Spike!” Pinkie says.

“It’s him or us!” Rainbow Dash retorts.

“Wait…” Rarity has a thought. This should be good. “What if we tried making it seem like she never died, and she just went missing?”

“Not a bad idea,” Rainbow Dash declares, “,but it’s missing something. You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’, Pinkie?”

“We gotta make it seem like we were never here!” Pinkie cheers.

“Right! Okay girls, we gotta erase every trace of our existence from this tree. Pinkie Pie and Applejack, you guys work on getting rid of that huge burn mark in the ground.”

“Okie dokie lokie!!” Pinkie exclaims.

“Sure can do, sugar cube.” Applejack tips her hat and gets to work.

“Right,” Rainbow Dash continues, “Rarity and Fluttershy, you guess delete the evidence.”

“Oh. Okay…” Fluttershy answers slowly.

“But of course.” Rarity says.

As Fluttershy and Rarity head up the stairs, Rarity turns to ask Rainbow a question:

“What will you be doing, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow walks over to a drawer which contains books and a secret, probably illegal stash of bits.

“I’ll be gathering our bounty.” She says with a smirk.

“Good thinkin’, Rainbow.” Applejack says as she helps Pinkie push a tree stump pedestal over the crater.

After about 5 hours of cleaning, looting, and bribing potential dragon witnesses with Rarity-cuddle-time, the 5 ponies have officially never set hoof into that building.

They exit the building when, suddenly, a bright star-like shape marks the twilight sky. The ponies, and a seduced by the thought of being seduced Spike, all gaze at what appears to be Twilight’s cutie mark.

“Oh shit, she’s HAUNTING US!” Pinkie Pie screamed.

The cutie mark lowers itself down to earth, scaring the living manure out of each Pony. They are then, yet again, blinded by a bright glow. These ponies are going to have future eye problems.

“Twilight?” Applejack asks, not really knowing what to hope for anymore. “Is that you?”

Twilight lifts herself from the ground and, out of fucking nowhere, sprouts godlike wings from her back. As she opens her wings, another bright glow that could rival Pinkie’s disco ball emanates from her…wings I guess.

Rather than shielding their eye’s this time around, they open them wider. Signs of permanent cornea damage. That, or they were in awe.

“Oh,” Applejack searches hard in her brain, for the right words. “I-I’ve never seen anything like it.” She finally says. Applejack must think she was looking at an angel, and was probably about to speak her mind, but Rainbow Dash swooped in and changed the subject before they got into deep shit.

“HA! Twilight’s got wings! AWESOME! A new flying buddy!” She exclaims as she gives Twilight a hug.

“Why you’ve become an alicorn!” Rarity states in fear, recollecting back how many things were stolen from Twilight’s house and how hard Twilight can wreck shit should she find out. “I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“ALACORN PARTAAA-” Pinkie swoops down from the friggin’ sky, adorned with a party hat as a faux horn and a pair of fake wings, mocking Twilight’s power. She returns for another swing and her horn turns out to be a…horn. For noise. Maybe she wasn’t mocking her.

“Wow…” Fluttershy starts off poorly, not really knowing how to keep a low profile, “you look just like a princess!”

Just then, Celestia appears, nearly scaring everypony but Twilight half to death.

“That’s because, she IS a princess.” Celestia states.

Nopony follows what this crazy horse is talking about.

“Hold on a second!” Pinkie says, trying to take a swing of her happy juice, only to spit it out when she realized it was water.

The next day, the 5 ponies get ready for Twilight’s coronation ceremony. They sit beside the princesses, and before a crowd of thousands with the word GUILT stamped on their foreheads.

“I sure hope Twilight doesn’t mention our faithfulness or anything.” Fluttershy whispers. “I won’t be able to bear it.”

“Shut up, smile, and roll with it, girls. Last night never happened.” Rainbow concludes.

“What about the disco ball?” Pinkie asks.

The ponies just sit there, smiles on their faces, really hoping Twilight likes her sparkling coronation gift.