Prompt: Schadenfreude, Comedy

Rainbow Dash was in pain. Searing, mind-numbing agony gripped her frame, twisting like shards of glass through her flesh. Her lungs, strong and healthy from near-constant exercise and training, were empty and burning. Spasms gripped her body, shooting prickly needles along her coat, individual hairs erect with gooseflesh. Sky blue feathers stood bunched along her powerful wings, quivering as tremors rolled in waves along the limbs. With each pass, they ruffled into further disarray. The violent vibrations raced down her legs, rattling her hooves on the hard pack dirt. She locked her limbs in a losing battle to keep from collapsing to her belly. Hot trails of wetness burned her aching, contorted face as they trailed away from tightly clenched eyelids. A grinding wheeze whistled feebly from her throat. This was it. Rainbow Dash knew she was going to die.

A small, resigned sigh escaped Spike’s scaly lips. “Go ahead, Rainbow Dash,” he muttered with tired resignation. “I know you want to.

She fell to the ground, hammering all four hooves in a rapid staccato on the road. Peals of breathless laughter erupted from her throat as she rolled side to side on her stomach. Her wings twitched erratically, sticking out at random angles.

Spike groaned and rubbed his face with a claw. He groaned louder when he pulled it away and noticed his digits were coated with the greasy why pancake make-up covering his face. The powdered white wig sitting on his head was angled awkwardly, held out of place by the fan of green fin-scales running down his back. The plum colored suit-jacket and undershirt were a riot of ruffled fabric and glinting buttons. He pouted his lip, which succeeded in drawing attention to the crimson dollop of lipstick applied in a perfect circle.

“What are you wearing?!” the pegasus squeaked between cackles, “Did Rarity promise to kiss you if you put that on?”

The little dragon narrowed his eyes, gruffly saying, “And what if she did?”

The laughter died in Rainbow Dash’s throat and her rose colored eyes flew open. “Wait, what?”

After a few long moments of heated glare broke and Spike snickered. “Had you goin’ there, Rainbow Dash. Nah, I got a really, really big gem out of it.”

The blue mare stared with bewilderment at Spike attempting to match up the smug look on his face with the outfit he was wearing. Eventually they both collapsed into giggles.

Author's Note

Flash Fic prompt: Schadenfreude. Available genres included comedy and dark, so I thought I'd start out dark and then avert it. Restrictions: four hours to plan and write, 100-500 word limit, Comedy, dark, and/or post-modern.