Harmony Through Chaos - Book One: Emberdawn

"This is your fault."

"Shut up."

"I hate you."

"I know."

The brown unicorn stallion ignored the quarreling mares and looked up at the pool of lava above him. Wait... Uh, let's just flip the camera angle... There! The brown unicorn stallion ignored the quarreling mares and looked down at the pool of lava he was hanging over from a tangle of vines. "This sucks..."

His statement was completely ignored. The purple unicorn mare was struggling to use a spell to no avail. "How is this my fault exactly? This was your idea!"

The brown pegasus mare stopped trying to free her wings for a second in order to roll her eyes. "Yeah, but you were the one who actually cast the spell!"

"You told me to cast it!"

"Why did you listen!?"

"I thought you knew what you were doing!"

"Well I didn't!"

The unicorn stallion started flailing wildly in an attempt to cover his ears. "AAAAAH! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

A brief awkward silence followed, but before anyone could say anything else, they were interrupted by the appearance of a midnight blue alicorn from the bushes on one side of the lava pool. "Will you three keep it down?"

"Ohhh... Heeey Luna! When'd you get here?"

"Just now. Hold on while I get you down."

As the three ponies were untangled and levitated to safety, the unicorn stallion commented, "Huh... Usually it's the handsome hero rescuing the Princess." *thud* "Ow."

"Oops. My bad."

As the stallion picked himself up off the ground, the two mares were gently placed beside him. "So where are we?"

The Princess, the pegasus, and the stallion all looked at the lavender unicorn. "Um... east?"

"Shit..."

Jackson looked back and forth between Luna and Twilight before saying, "This isn't working. I vote that we tell Twilight the truth."

Luna glared at him. "I vote we don't!"

"That rhymed. Twilight, looks like you're the tie-breaker."

Luna continued to glare as she said, "That's not fair!"

"Sure it is. Twilight?"

Twilight looked a bit lost, but obviously ended up answering, "Um... I vote yes?"

"So basically, Luna asked me to kidnap her so that we could go on an adventure."

"... Really?"

"Yep."

"Oh... Well in that case, I don't see any reason to tell Princess Celestia..."

"Oh good."

"...As long as I can come with you."

"What— Seriously?"

"Yes."

"You just suddenly feel like going on an adventure? You been reading too much Daring Do?"

"Maybe a little..."

Luna looked as confused as Twilight had been mere minutes ago. "What has brought this on?"

"I used to think that I wouldn't enjoy the excitement of being one of the Elements of Harmony. It turned out that I was wrong; I really like all the stuff that goes on! Up until recently, I was content just reading about the grand adventures that ponies would go on, but eventually I decided that I wanted to try it out for myself, and now's my chance!"

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "Huh... guess the adventure fever must be going around. I vote yes!"

Now Luna looked terrified. "No! There's no telling what my sister will do if anything were to happen to her student!"

"Can't be worse than what I've already got coming..."

"Have you ever been to the sun?"

"No, but it sounds like a pleasant vacation destination. Maybe I'll stop by on our way back."

“Why—”

“One week all-inclusive vacations to the sun starting at nine trillion bits or one angry Sun Goddess and all the organs in your body. Call now!”

"Gaah! Fine! She can come!"

Twilight started hopping circles around the two of them, yelling "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" When she finally calmed down, she caught her breath and said, "I'll go get my adventure pack!"

Jackson gave her a skeptical look and asked, "You actually have an adventure pack?"

"Well...” She looked a bit sheepish as she clarified,  “It's a friend's. She keeps one in my house—"

"In case of adventure emergency, right?" At the questioning look he received, his only answer was, "What? I know stuff, okay? Anyway, can we come in until Felicia gets back? Alicorns tend to draw attention, and we don’t need any more of that right now.”

Twilight glanced around and noticed that there were in fact quite a few ponies looking in their general direction. “Right, right.” She stepped away from the door to allow them through, then followed them in and closed it behind them.

While they sat down and waited for Felicia to return, Twilight for some reason found it necessary to further awkward-ify the ensuing awkward silence by spending the entire time staring at Jackson. Showing an incredible amount of self-control, it took him an entire fifteen seconds to get tired of it. “What?”

“You’re so... normal. I thought you were supposed to be an agent of Chaos.”

“Luna’s fault. I’m actually a highly evolved one-point-eight meter tall hairless ape that wears clothes all the time.”

“Uh...”

“Yeah, I assume you’ve heard of this ‘Lord Infernus’ guy? Same species.”

Twilight put a hoof to her chin in thought, staring off into space before concluding, “That... actually makes a lot of sense.” Then her eyes bugged out of her head and she slowly turned to face him. “This adventure... You’re not...?”

“Hunting for the Emberblade? Yep.”

Before Twilight had a chance to come up with a response, a female voice could be heard from outside the library. ”EVERYPONY GET!” A few seconds later, Rainbow Dash walked through the door—Hope you’re taking your heart medication; Rainbow Dash just used a fucking door—followed by the rest of the Elements and Spike... and then Rainbow Dash again. Oh dear...

Jackson noted that Rainbow Dash was glaring at Rainbow Dash while Rainbow Dash glared back at Rainbow Dash. (…) (???) (!!!) Wait, what? Rainbow Dash completely ignored the fact that Princess Luna and a strange stallion were in the room and yelled, “Twilight! There’s a changeling in town!”

At the exact same time, Rainbow Dash completely ignored the fact that Princess Luna and a strange stallion were in the room and yelled, “Twilight! There’s a changeling in town!” Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash then proceeded to start mimicking each other’s movements in an attempt to get the other to mess up.

As Twilight started to get up—likely to cast Twilight Sparkle’s Magical Changeling Detection Spell™—Jackson stopped her with a hoof on her shoulder. “I’ll handle this.” He walked over to Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash, who were both looking at him, confused.

Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash simultaneously asked, “Who are you?”

As he looked back and forth between them, he answered, “My name is Jackson Florence...” His eyes settled on the Rainbow Dash to the left. “But you already knew that. Quit fucking around, Felicia.”

With a flare of emerald fire, Felicia turned back into her brown pegasus disguise. “Aww... How’d you figure it out?”

“Changelings don’t sweat, and Dash friggin’ stinks. You must’ve caught her in the middle of a practice session or something.”

He ignored Rainbow’s indignant response and directed his attention to Twilight’s cry of, ”YOU DID WHAT!?” on the other side of the room.

“Yep, it’s around that time when everything usually goes horribly wrong... What’s the problem?”

“Apparently Spike found the letter and thought that I was stalling for time, so he replied to say that you’re all here.”

“Ugh... Hey Pinkie, could’ya grab an emergency adventure pack for Twilight?”

With an affirmation of, “Okie Dokie!” Pinkie bounced to another room, then immediately returned with a full saddlebag draped over her back.

As she passed it off to Twilight, Jackson commented, “I tried keeping emergency stashes of stuff around my city once...”

With her usual curiosity, Pinkie asked, “What happened?”

“People kept stealing my shit. Twilight, you ready?”

Twilight looked up from adjusting the straps on her new saddlebag. “What? I need to say goodbye to everyone first!”

“Nope. Less blow diss joint!”

Finally one of the other Elements spoke up. Took ‘em long enough. “Say goodbye!? Why is there a changeling!? Why is Princess Luna on yer couch!? Who is this!? WHAT THE HAY IS GOIN’ ON HERE!?”

Everyone stared at Applejack for a few minutes before Jackson answered for Twilight, “She’s going on an adventure, she’s my unwilling bodyguard, I kidnapped the Princess, I’m pretty sure I already told you my name, SPIKE JUST FUCKED SHIT UP!”

Amongst the shocked silence that followed, Fluttershy quietly stated, “Oh, okay.”

“Anyways, we need to go, cause there’s likely an orangutang fucking dick-million Royal Guards headed our way.”

Felicia shoved a hoof over her mount to stop herself from laughing. “Wh— What did you just say?”

“Shut up, and let’s go.”

“Where exactly are we going?” Felicia asked, managing to pull herself together.

“Baltimare!”

“And how are we getting there without getting spotted by the guards?”

“Er...”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“...”

“Wait, I know! Luna, you’re like some sort of Goddess. Why don’t you just teleport us there!?”

Jackson rolled his eyes. “More like, ‘why didn’t she just teleport us there in the first place...’”

Luna ignored his comment to explain, "If we just teleported, any unicorn guards would be able to track and follow it, and it would take too long to dissipate if we tried that now.”

The three of them began to think in silence while Twilight and the other Elements just stared at each other from opposite sides of the room. Eventually Felicia came up with another idea. “Okay, purple mare,” She ignored as Twilight mouthed ‘purple mare?’, and continued, “You’re really good at magic, right? How about you teleport us while Luna distracts the guards, then she follows our teleport right before it dissipates?”

Luna stood up and glanced at Twilight. “That could work, but can Twilight even teleport such a distance? And what happens if I don’t follow in time?”

Jackson looked to the aforementioned unicorn for an answer to the first question. She noticed his expectant gaze and answered, “I... should be able to do it... In theory.”

“That’s that then.” Jackson said, turning to Luna. “And if you end up stranded, I can just come back and we can try this again some other time.”

“Tia’s going to increase patrols if she manages to get me back...”

“That’s okay. Things’ll settle down eventually, and we’ve got plenty of time.”

Luna frowned. “That’s... not entirely true.”

Jackson gave an exasperated groan before replying, “Of course it isn’t... Once we’re done with all this crap, you and I are having a talk.”

“Very well... In the meantime, I vote that we use Felicia’s plan.”

“Oh. Now you’re fine with calling a vote. Whatever, I vote yes. I also vote that if anyone votes no, they say so with ‘nay’ instead.”

“... Why?”

“You guys wouldn’t get the joke, but I assure you that it would be friggin’ hilarious.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Votes?”

Felicia answered yes—It was her idea after all—then after a second of hesitation, Twilight also answered yes. “I’ll try my best.” She said. “Spike, you’re in charge of the library while I’m away.”

Spike just stared at her in shock. "What? But I can't—"

"Spike, you are my number one assistant, and I trust you completely."

Jackson couldn't help but add, "Even if he totally just fucked shit up."

"Be nice! He didn't know any better!"

"Oh yeah? Well now when they realize that you're helping us, you'll be wanted for harboring a changeling and being an accomplice in the kidnapping of a Princess. Still so happy with him?"

"Um..." She glanced at Spike, who responded with a sheepish smile. "I might be a little unhappy, now that you mention it..."

"Great. Let's get going."

"I was serious when I said that I wanted to say goodbye first!"

There was a knock at the door. "Miss Sparkle, this is the Royal Guard. Please open the door."

Felicia hopped into the air, then flew over to stand beside Twilight. "Guess you should have thought of that while you were all just standing here and awkwardly staring at each other. Too late now! Let's go!"

Not knowing what else to do, Twilight called out, "Bye girls!" and teleported the three of them away.

Jackson saw a flash of violet, then nothing.

"Jaaackiiie~"

"Uhhh..."

"Time to wake up, Jackie..."

Jackson opened his eyes and sat up, only now realizing that he had been lying on the ground. He looked around and determined that he was in the middle of a field that seemed to stretch beyond the horizon in every direction. Of course, all of the grass was dead and the sky was the color of blood, so that was nice. "What the fuck is this shit?"

"Jaaaackiiiie~"

He stood up fully and looked behind him to find a vaguely human-shaped mass of black smoke. "Let me guess; feed you their hearts?"

"Wat?"

Yeah, so smoke people really aren't that threatening after you have heard the most unintelligent response possible come from their... uh... mouths? "It's from— No, you know what? Nevermind. This is bullshit. Fix it."

"Wat?"

"You are the only sentient being that I see in an everything mile radius, which means that this is somehow your fault. Fix it."

"Um, okay..." The shadow snapped it's incorporeal fingers, sending Jackson back to his own plane of existance. "Well... that little reunion didn't really go as planned..."

"Uuuuugh..." Jackson slowly woke, rubbing his head. He was upside-down, but his brain decided to give one less than one fucks at the given time. "That was messed up..." He looked up— er, down. "Nevermind. This is messed up."

A groan to his left alerted him to the fact that he was not alone in his plight. He checked in that direction and saw Felicia starting to wake up.

He noticed that she seemed to be stuck in some sort of vines just like himself— albeit far more tangled. She looked up—Down?—and screamed. "Woah! What the actual buck is going on here!?" She noticed Jackson and looked at him.

His chosen answer to his question was of course, "Pele demands a sacrifice."

Felicia looked back up/down, then back to Jackson. "Buck you." She may not have known who Pele was, but she was apparently well aware of the meaning behind the word 'sacrifice'. She also apparently thought that Jackson would make a better sacrifice than her. Silly changeling; didn't she know that Pele likes mercury?

...

Get it? Cause there's that one fic with the changelings and the mercury, and like, Pele and Mercury are both Gods/Goddesses, so they— Um... Nevermind, I'm not sure where I'm trying to go with this...

Anyways, Jackson just responded, "Blame Twilight."

"I think I will." She twisted herself to look at Twilight, who had apparently been hanging to Felicia's left—Still unconscious—the entire time. "Hey! Purple Mare!"

Jackson took this opportunity to better examine their surroundings. They appeared to be in some sort of jungle; a jungle with a random lava pool in the middle of it. Minecraft much? He was broken out of his thoughts by the intruding sound of two arguing mares.

"This is your fault." Felicia was saying.

"Shut up." Was Twilight's witty response.

"I hate you."

"I know."

Jackson ignored the quarreling mares and looked up at the pool of lava above him. Wait... Uh, let's just flip the camera angle... There! Jackson ignored the quarreling mares and looked down at the pool of lava he was hanging over from a tangle of vines. "This sucks..."

His statement was completely ignored. Twilight was struggling to use a spell to no avail. "How is this my fault exactly? This was your idea!"

Felicia stopped trying to free her wings for a second in order to roll her eyes. "Yeah, but you were the one who actually cast the spell!"

"You told me to cast it!"

"Why did you listen!?"

"I thought you knew what you were doing!"

"Well I didn't!"

Jackson started flailing wildly in an attempt to cover his ears. "AAAAAH! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

A brief awkward silence followed, but before anyone could say anything else, they were interrupted by the appearance of a midnight blue alicorn from the bushes on one side of the lava pool. "Will you three keep it down?"

"Ohhh... Heeey Luna! When'd you get here?"

"Just now. Hold on while I get you down."

As the three ponies were untangled and levitated to safety, Jackson commented, "Huh... Usually it's the handsome hero rescuing the Princess." *thud* "Ow."

"Oops. My bad."

As Jackson picked himself up off the ground, the two mares were gently placed beside him in the middle of a clearing. "So where are we?"

Jackson, Felicia, and Luna all looked at Twilight. "Um... east?"

"Shit... Luna? Can't you use your fancy Goddess powers to help here?"

"I will try." Luna answered before closing her eyes. About a minute later she opened her eyes again and said, "Judging from the position of the moon, I'd say we overshot a bit."

"How much is 'a bit'?"

"A bit is one unit of Equestrian currency."

Jackson narrowed his eyes. "You know what I meant."

"Yes, yes. We appear to have arrived in Gryphus. Congratulations, Twilight Sparkle; you just teleported us to the other side of the planet."

"Uh-oh... Felicia, how long could the hive last with what I gave them?"

She thought for a second before answering, "Seeing as were starving to death before, I'd say a little under a decade."

"Oh good. So as long as I don't die at some point, I can pretty much take as much time as I want."

"I wouldn't wait any longer than necessary if I were you. Queen Chrysalis has a bit of a temper."

"Meh."

"No, not 'meh'."

"Meh."

"Fine. Meh. I give up."

Twilight raised her hoof and looked at Jackson expectantly. Jackson just stared at her for a second before asking, "Yes, Twilight?"

"What was that part about starving to death?"

"Wow. You ponies really are dense. You remember at the invasion of Canterlot when Chryssie said that she had to find food for her subjects?"

"Yes. Were you—"

"Well when your brother owned them with his love-shield of doom, he came this close to committing genocide. They were already running out before he sent them all flying away from their only source of food and into the middle of a volcanic wasteland."

"Oh..."

Jackson noticed that her and Luna were both now looking at Felicia with no small amount of pity. Meanwhile, Felicia was just examining the forest canopy on the other side of the clearing and pretending not to hear them. "Speaking of which, am I feeding you enough, Felicia?"

Felicia continued to pretend that she hadn't been listening and answered, "Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm good."

Twilight looked back and forth between them and said, "If you feed her, doesn't that mean—"

Jackson quickly started waving his front hooves at her to cut her off. "Ew, no! She's like, a friggin' bug! Ew! No, it's simple enough to just trick yourself into feeling affection for someone. I suppose you could also just imagine the target changeling in an arousing situation..."

From across the clearing, Felicia called, "Not that I'm complaining, but why am I suddenly receiving a lot more love from you?"

Jackson snapped himself out of his daydream, then blushed and awkwardly cleared his throat before calling back, "No reason!"

"I'm a lesbian."

Jackson mumbled, "That explains why it was so awkward on the way to Canterlot..." He turned back to Twilight before continuing, "Anyways, a pony is one thing, but changelings are just creepy."

Twilight pulled a notepad out of her saddlebags, which had somehow remained closed while they were upside-down. "So you would initiate a relationship with a pony?"

Jackson responded with a predatory grin and answered, "If it's consenting, of age, and speaks your language, you can fuck it."

Felicia suddenly let out a scream of rage anand yelled, "CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHAT WE CAN AND CANNOT FUCK WHEN WE'RE NOT STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF A RANDOM FOREST!?"

"Okay. Twilight's a shitty relationship counselor anyway." He started to walk in a random direction—Though obviously not the direction of the lava pool—and motioned for Luna to go with him. "Twilight can continue making everything awkward and Felicia can continue bitching while we have that talk."

Once they were out of earshot, Jackson turned to Luna and plainly stated, "Explain."

"You seem to know just about everything that has happened over the last few years, and I'm just going to assume that your knowledge is also very in-depth from the way you quoted Chrysalis at the wedding you weren't around for."

"'Kay?"

"When Twilight Sparkle first found out about my return, she told Celestia. Celestia pretended not to believe her so that she would meet the other Element Bearers in Ponyville. When I first found out about Infernus' return, I told Celestia. Celestia did not believe me, and she was not pretending."

"So, the big bad pyromancer's getting his shit together and your sister’s too dense to figure it out? I blame all the cake. Anyways, we'll just have to be careful and keep to a time-frame. Oh, and our time-frame would be what exactly?"

"I... don't exactly know that at the current time. The prophecy only said that your arrival would be the first sign of his return."

"Uh... Sorry?"

"You're not to blame. It was beyond your control."

"Actually, I decided to hop into a random portal I wandered across, so this is all my fault."

"Oh..."

"Well now that that's all cleared up, let's get back to the others." They both headed back and found Felicia still staring at the trees... and absolutely nothing else. "Uh... Hey, where's Twilight?"