Prologue: Technicolor Ponies in High Definition
"Oh, do I really have to do it now, sister? My team will get upset if I'm away for too long!"
"Yes. Don't worry. It won't take too long." Princess Celestia reassured in a calm and collective manner. Luna stepped forth onto the balcony without any more argument, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. Princess Celestia remained silent, for it took absolute concentration to allow the rising of the moon. Celestia silently reminisced the return of her dear sister.
After the fall of the dreaded Nightmare Moon, Luna joined her sister in ruling the land again, but the effort seemed much too bland for the newly returned Princess. Her mind lie elsewhere,she was consistently losing focus, and she often wandered off, looking for activities to pass the time. Noticing this problem, Princess Celestia invited Luna to join Ponyville and its celebration of Nightmare Night. All according to her plan, the princess returned and actively sought out more things for her to play with, and for her to have fun to grow accustomed to her daily lifestyle, all while enjoying her pastimes.
However, Princess Celestia isn't scared to admit the fact that she was surprised to see her sister go as far as buying the newest gaming desktop, install it in her own living quarters, and lock herself there for, at the longest, over two days. While she never could understand her sister's need to condemn herself to the point of near insanity, she on occasion joined Luna in her gaming fanatics.
"Done!" Luna announced to her sister, delighted.
"Good job Luna! You're getting better every day." Celestia comment whilst staring at the glistening stars overhead. "You can get back to your-" But Luna was already gone. "...game." Celestia shook her head and smiled, sitting down to do her daily business or responding to letters and carrying out orders, all while relaxing next to the crackling fireplace.
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"Applejack! Applejack! Wake up!"
"Wh-what in tarnation?!" Applejack shook herself awake, startled by the sound of Twilight's voice. Seeing no living figure beside or even near her bed, Applejack sighed numbly, sat up, and rubbed her eyes.
"Twilight, Ah know you like that tela-watchamacallit, spell, but Ah'm trying to sleep!" Applejack complained aloud.
"I know," Twilight responded to the southern pony telepathically. "But I've just discovered the best spell ever! The girls are all coming here! Hurry up!"
Breathing a heavy sigh of frustration, Applejack grunted and crawled out of her seemingly cloud-like bed and planted her hooves on the hard, unwelcome floor.
"This better be good..." Applejack muttered, moving towards the door.
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"Now what's the deal with you wakin' all of us up like this?" Applejack asked, joining her friends in the center of the room, all seeming droopy-eyed and tired, leave Pinkie, who bounced around as hyperactive as ever.
"Yes, darling. We know your magic discoveries are highly important to us-" Rarity glanced around nervously. "-but I've recently fallen behind on my sleeping schedule. Beauty sleep doesn't work by itself, you know." Rarity piped in, rubbing her eyes.
"I know you're all upset with me waking you so early, but I've come up with an amazing breakthrough! I've discovered a spell that allows trans-dimensional teleportation!" Twilight's eyes lit up and a gaping smile overtook her face at the thought of it.
"Trans-who now?" Rainbow asked, cocking her eyebrow.
"Trans-dimensional teleportation." Twilight repeated with greater emphasis. "As in, the ability to travel through different dimensions." She explained slowly.
"Cool! so where we goin'?" Pinkie asked, getting too close to Twilight for comfort.
"Uh, well I haven't really found out how to target a precise location..." Twilight admitted, looking down.
"Are you sure about this Twilight?" Fluttershy softly piped in. "I mean, if you don't know where we're going, there could be monsters, or aliens, or..." She trailed off, forcing herself not to think about it.
"True, we don't know what to expect..." Twilight scratched her chin.
"Well if it's so amazin', Ah say we give it a go. If we run into anything strange, you can just bring us back, right?" Applejack spoke up.
"Yeah! Who knows? We might end up somewhere where everything's made out of chocolate!" Rainbow Dash added in.
"Or DIAMONDS!" Rarity squealed at the thought.
"Or cake!" Pinkie cheered, pulling a cake from thin air and smashing it against her face, licking it up.
"Or maybe a place filled with fuzzy squirrels and bunnies and all sorts of animals!" Fluttershy beamed.
"Okay! It's settled! We'll try it out tomorrow!" Twilight announced, and everypony cheered in response.
The Next Day: Afternoon
"Blast it!" Luna yelled silently to herself. "Why must this game be so infuriating?!" Luna frowned at the turquoise colored screen, reading 594 attempts.
"Curse you, orange box of frustration!" Luna grunted, reaching her next attempt. Upon failing that one, she groaned and turned the game off. "It wasn't that fun anyways." She sighed. Dragging her mouse to open League of Legends, she halted at the sound of six familiar voices grunting and scrambling with each other.
"Hey, watch it!"
"It's not mah fault! Twilight put us in midair!" Applejack retorted.
"Everypony be quiet!" The chatter ended. "Where are we?"
Before Luna took grasp of the situation, she found herself face-to-face with six small ponies staring at her on her desktop screen. Blinking, Luna frowned.
"Oh, did Anon send me a virus again? Why I oughta-"
"Luna?!" A collective gasp was heard from the small group of pixelated ponies. but she ignored it.
"I should show him what for and send him a bug of my own." Luna told nopony in particular.
"Who are you callings bugs?" Pinkie Pie called out, seeming offended.
"Luna, it's us! You know me! I'm Twilight!" Twilight waved her arms high above her head, trying to catch her attention. However, she still didn't listen.
"It seems like every week I receive some trolling gift of some sort! Well it's about time I fought back!"Luna declared, starting a speech.
"Don't worry. I know what to do!" Pinkie trotted over to the nearest desktop icon, Dota 2. Pinkie tapped it with her right hoof, causing a small window to pop up, and she hovered her hoof over Delete.
"Wait!" Luna stopped and listened intently. "That sound... It sounds like misery... A thousand chanting voices, calling out, 'all your hard work will disappear unless you take action...'" She turned her head and gazed upon the monitor and at the miniature pink pony threatening all her work.
"NO!" She screamed, dragging the mouse with her magic and snatching Pinkie by the leg until throwing her across the screen. Scanning for any damage to her precious, she sighed with relief before looking at the ponies with anger.
"Surely Anon didn't come up with this..." After a moment of silence, Luna broke it herself.
"What are you doing inside my computer?"
DISCLAIMER
Everything past the prologue and this point is HIGHLY (and we mean HIGHLY) sarcastic and unrealistic. If you have a problem with it, you may leave.
Sincerely, the text you made speak in your head
GENERATING WORLD...
"Oof!" Twilight grunted, smacking into the pixelated earth. She could feel the texture of grass beneath her.
"Okay, Twilight..." Luna's voice called from above. "You're supposed to open a portal to the End and kill the Enderdragon." She instructed.
"Oh, yeah!" Twilight groaned sarcastically, sitting up and rubbing her head. "Piece of cake!"
"Hey, you got yourself into this mess. Now go! I will contact you if you run into trouble!" The voice buzzed out, and Twilight peered across the vast landscape.
Five minutes earlier...
"Uh, why are we inside your computamathingy?" Applejack stared up at Luna, who was busy thinking the situation over.
"I didn't do it. I should be asking you the same question." Luna stared back at the orange Earth Pony. "Which of you is responsible for this?" She asked, looking into the group. On cue, everypony stepped aside, revealing Twilight, who was hiding at the back of the crowd. She waved at Luna with a sheepish smile spread across her face.
"Ah, Twilight Sparkle. I should have known. Now, tell me exactly what happened."
"Well, I had gathered the girls in the library to show them a new spell I found that allowed the traveling between universes-"
"Was it the trans-dimensional teleportation spell?" Luna cut in.
"Uh... yes." Twilight cocked an eyebrow. "How did you know?"
"Well, you're usually the one that finds everyday spells and considers them to be migically amazing, and that's the most everyday spell out there." Luna replied, seemingly bored.
"Every- EVERYDAY?! That spell could answer one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of magic and science as we know it! I mean- who else has got into your computer before?!" Twilight countered.
"Well, hypothetically speaking, Anon, the stupid 12-year-old sends me viruses about twice to five times a month. Does that count?" Luna looked back at Twilight.
"Luna! I'm back from the Diabetic Universe for your weekly shipment of Doritos and Mountain Dew!" Luna's elder sister called before entering the room.
"Do we really have to call that the Diabetic Universe? It makes me feel self-conscious about my-"
"WHAT?!" Twilight screamed. Luna flinched and she took off her headset, rubbing her ears.
"Oh! Twilight!" Celestia trotted over. "...And friends! What on Earth are you doing inside Luna's compu-"
"HOLD ON!" Twilight interrupted. "You just got back from WHAT?!" She was about ready to lose her mind.
Luna leaned over and whispered into her sister's ear, and she slowly nodded.
"Twilight, didn't you see that big stargate thing?" Princess Celestia asked, staring at the ponies within the monitor. "Y'know, the one that we use to travel inter-dimensionally?" Celestia cocked an eyebrow at the lavender unicorn on the monitor. Twilight was at a loss for words. "The one that's right next to the royal garden? Been there since before you were even born?" Celestia waved a hoof in front of the screen trying to catch her attention. Finally, Twilight slowly closed her gaping mouth and groaned.
"I need to think about this..." She grumbled, crawling over to the corner of the screen to calm down.
"...Anyways, she used the spell and we ended up here." Applejack finished the story.
"Hm. Well, I don't see why you can't just use the spell again and leave." Luna responded.
"Great idea!" Twilight called from the corner of the screen. "If I could actually use my magic in a situation like this, I'd TOTALLY do EXACTLY THAT!" Twilight slumped back into her corner.
"Hm. Well, I've never tried using magic on the hardware of my own computer before, but..." Luna trailed off.
"But what?" Rarity asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"If I mess with the hardware, it may crash the system permanently. Along with that, you'd probably be stuck in it forever." Luna explained.
"Well, I have important business to take care of. Take care, Twilight Sparkle!" Celestia called before exiting the room. Twilight groaned sharply in reply.
"So how DO we get out of here?" Rainbow Dash flew up the monitor to meet Luna's eyes. She only scratched her head and mumbled to herself. Then she shrugged.
"I don't really know how to get you out without damaging the circuits... All I can really do is-" Luna was sharply interrupted by a deafening siren noise that blared continuously. Rainbow Dash fell to the bottom of the screen, clutching her ears while all the others did the same. All except for Twilight, who got KO'd by a pop-up that happened to smack her right in the face. Luna furiously started clicking the information provided on the pop-up, which, unfortunately for Twilight, semi-crushed her. Many little pop-ups appeared on-screen, with a dozen more after that. It was obvious Luna had lost control of the situation, and feared the worst when the computer crashed.
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"Wha- Ah can't see anything!"
"Me neither!"
"I'm scared..."
"Let's get naked!"
"We already are, Pinkie."
"REALLY?! YAY!"
Suddenly, without warning, a flash of bright light appeared in front of the ponies. It appeared to be a face, a white one, with a wicked smile, a curved chin, and it had a kind of mocking tone.
"U mad, ponies?" It boomed.
"What in tarnation are you?!" Applejack harshly replied.
"I am Anon, the Trolling Scientist! The Keeper of the Creeper! The Bigger of the Nigg-"
"Yeah, yeah, what do you want?" Rainbow Dash floated in front of him, eyebrow cocked.
"Oh, just to watch some delicious torment! You will be trapped in this computer for the rest of your unforsaken lives! I will torture you, one by one, and then..." His smile widened. "...Well, let's just say 'Secret Butt Fun!'" He then started to cackle loudly.
"FIXED IT!"
"...Oh, balls."
The darkness swelled and slowly turned into a bright light, and while Luna appeared in front of our heroes, the mysterious face had slowly evaporated into nothingness.
"I know how to get you out!" Luna declared.
"Really?!" They all said at once, their spirits lifting.
"There is one small problem, though..." Luna frowned. All the ponies' smiles of anticipation were replaced with looks of fear.
"Anon had to store the program used to transfer you out, so he scattered the bits and pieces needed to set you free." She explained. "Unfortunately, those files are hidden. I can't find them. He stored them within the game codes of every game I own. The only way you can get them is if you all, one by one, went into the games and beat them." She scratched the back of her head.
"Wait, wait, wait." Twilight shook her head. "You mean we have to play your games so you can get us out?
"Sorry if I didn't make myself clear to you and your friends." Luna mocked.
"Fine, where do we go first?"
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"Welcome to Minecraft! Where your crap gets blown up when you don't want it to be!"
Twilight turned to Luna, a stern look on her face.
"I hate you."
Author's Note
GOOD GOD WHERE HAVE I BEEN FOR THE LONGEST TIME
Sorry if I'm the most procrastinating author known to man, I just can't sit down and write a chapter.
Anyways, tell me if you guys like it and would like to see more.
Until next time!
-Burritoburger
