What do? Rainbows and Dashing edition
Written by RazortheAwesome and Hankyhannah
Artwork by Hankyhannah
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is
Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of Lauren Faust. No copyright
infringement is intended, please support the official release.
SECOND DISCLAIMER (by RazortheAwesome:
I canʼt speak for Hannah but...
I STILL REGRET NOTHING! IʼVE LIVED AS FEW MEN DARE TO DREAM!!!)
Let it begin.
“MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm....” a moan escapes your lips. Just as it always does when... wait. That wasnʼt your moan.
That wasnʼt your moan at all. It doesnʼt even sound remotely like you. It actually sounds... kind of girly.
“Hey,” you hear someone next to you. The sound of that voice instantly makes you open your eyes.
You donʼt know that voice. Instantly you wake up and sit up in what you obviously know is not your bed.
You look around you to see nothing but clear blue sky. All around you there is sky, no matter where you look.
Except for down, there is solid ground several feet below you.
Shocked by the revelation that you are now several hundreds, thousands, hell you donʼt even know, feet about the ground, you reel away from the edge, only to finally see that you are sleeping on clouds.
You look down to see that you are sitting on a cloud.
No seriously, a cloud. It is a cloud, and you are sitting on it.
More specifically though, you are sitting on a rainbow which appears to be coming out of the cloud and moving over towards another one.
Funny, you donʼt remember dying and going to Valhalla recently.
Hell you donʼt even remember giving any praise to any norse gods recently.
Sure you thought Odin, Thor, and all those other guys were absolute badasses but youʼve never once praised them like you were in a religion that worshipped them.
That aside if this is Valhalla you donʼt remember dying.
Unless you happened to die in your sleep. Which is highly unlikely considering that you donʼt have any fatal illnesses or anyone out to get you (you are pretty sure of that one).
Plus, you are still kind of wearing all your clothes that you went to sleep with.
Well, either way, if this is Valhalla then maybe it wonʼt be so...
“Ah youʼre finally awake,” and suddenly every thought you have about this place being Valhalla leaves your mind.
You turn your head to follow the trajectory of the voice, only to find the mother of all “what is this I donʼt even...” things laying there next to you.
Shocked as all hell you stand up. Yes, there is room enough on the cloud for you to stand, but that is not the point.
Laying there next to you, is a light blue pony.
More specifically it is a light blue pegasus with a light blue coat and a pair of scarlet red eyes. Her eyes are friggin' huge, theyʼre almost like anime eyes.
However, what really strikes you about this pegasus pony is her mane. Her mane is... well... its rainbow colored.
Youʼre not making that up, her mane is made up of ever color of the rainbow.
Itʼs like if her hair was divided into sections and each section got a different color.
For the life of you, you cannot even comprehend how one would get a mane like
that.
The pegasus just lays there on the clouds on her back.
Her forehooves are
curled up against her chest while her back hooves are laid out and relaxed a little bit. Its kind of similar to the pose a cat would take when it wants its belly rubbed.
Not only that, but sheʼs looking right up at you. Her eyes are half closed and sheʼs smiling at you. Its the kind of look that suggests that sheʼs expecting something from you. Again, like a cat and a belly rub.
Basically what you are seeing right now is this picture.
As you stand over her, your shadow keeping the sun off her, all you can do is
stare back at her. Stare back... into those giant eyes.... staring.... staring... staring forever. Theyʼre staring into your soul... theyʼre staring into....
Okay that is enough of that.
Once you pull your attention away from her eyes, a
million thoughts begin to run through your head.
For one, where the hell were you?
You can remember going to sleep last night after watching an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic after a day of being you in your life, and suddenly you wake up here.
Secondly, how the hell are you able to stand on a cloud?
Clouds are basically water in gas form and arenʼt made up of ANY solid surface, so how could you be standing on one?
Three, why do the Norse gods have a rainbow bridge anyway, and why is there a rainbow even here?
And fourth. WHERE IN THE NAME OF ODIN AND GOD ARE YOU!?
Seriously you know you canʼt be dead and this definitely isnʼt Valhalla.
Unless it is and...
“Umm...” The sound of the Rainbow Maned pegasusʼ voice causes you to look
back at her again.
Then, like a brick to the face it hits you.
All the pieces fit into place.
The pony, the cloud, the rainbows (okay not the rainbows but still) and the ground beneath you.
You knew it looked somehow familiar.
Being a brony at heart. You finally manage to put all the pieces together.
This isnʼt Valhalla.
Somehow, against all inconcievable odds, youʼve found yourself transported to Equestria.
Not only that, but the pegasus lying beside you, was none other than the one and only Rainbow Dash.
You mentally smack yourself in the head for not realizing this the second you got here.
Okay now you know where you, that just begs the question off...
“So... are you...” the unmistakable voice of Rainbow Dash causes you to divert your attention back at her.
Sheʼs still in that same pose looking up at you with that strangely cute and kind of seductive smile.
What do you do?
What the fuck did I drink last night?
This is cleary a dream and somone roofied your beer last night. That or
what your really seeing is prob just your rainbow dash plushie talkin to you while your
half asleep.It wouldn't be the first time, and your usually dumb enough to give a response...I wonder what dumb question i shall ask today...
Okay, now that you know that what you are seeing is Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash the pony... from the show my Little Pony Friendship is Magic, suddenly everything makes sense to you now. Clearly this is all the product of some roofie induced dream. Someone must have dropped roofies in your beer last night and like the dumbass that you are you drank it without asking questions. Hell you werenʼt even sure at all what you drank last night in the first place. Thats the only explanation you can think of that makes any logical sense at the moment. With that in mind you take another look at the pleading Rainbow Dash.
There is only one thing to do in this kind of situation and that is HUG THE
RAINBOW.
And three, just hug the adorable pegasus.
Huggles!
Tell her that she is best pony, and hug her. 
All of the hugs belong to rainbow dash!!!!!
Then jump off the cloud yellin' LEEEEERRROOOOOYYY
JEEEEENNNNKKKKIIINNNSSS!!!!!
Ah screw it You think to yourself as you give in to the insanity. If this is a roofie induced dream you might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Without hesitation you leap from your position on the cloud straight towards Rainbow Dash with open arms. You are going to hug the ever loving adorableness out of your favorite pony. Also you feel compelled to shout
“LLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY
JEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!” As you do.
Seeing your enthusiasm, Rainbow Dash gets up and flies towards you with open hooves to meet you half way. The same adorable smile still ever present on her face.
It may be because youʼre to lost in your roofie insanity induced moment to realize what is going on around you, but you seem to have forgotten that you are on a cloud, that, and you are not moving towards Rainbow Dash at all.
After stalling you finally come to the realization that you yourself must
either be A. a griffon or B. a pegasus. or you would be falling right now.
You fly away like a badass.
Ground is nice. Can we get some ground before any action starts?
Ask the obvious question. How are we standing on a cloud? And don't
just say "magic".
Upon realizing that this is Equestria, I notice that I am not a pegasus, and
promptly fall through the cloud. As we all know, the laws of physics only apply when
acknowledged, which makes it perfectly reasonable that I was able to stay on the cloud
until now. Well, the laws of cartoon-physics work like that, at least.
Its at this point that you remember that youʼve been standing on a cloud this
whole time. It is also that this point that you realize that your legs have not generated
any upwards thrust to move towards Rainbow Dash when you jumped off the cloud.
Suddenly all the pieces fall into place as you suddenly realize one important truth.
You are not a pegasus.
With that in mind, you look down towards the ground, which appears to be moving closer to you at an alarming rate. Yes, you have just fallen through the cloud and are hurtling towards the earth.
What do you do?
Scream a very very manly scream, despite what anyone else thinks
Scream like a bitch.
Scream at the top of your lungs the most manliest of manly screams you can
posibly emmit
Scream, at the top of your lungs, the girliest scream ever
In the spirit of "A Reckless Disregard For Gravity", 
"AaAaAA!"
With the ground hurtling towards you at top speeds, you are left with only one option.
You let out the most manly scream possible and await the inevitable.
Okay maybe its not a very manly scream BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT?! YOU’RE FALLING TO YOUR DEATH!!!!!
As you rush towards the large green expanse of the ground you think "Well this
was a gun dream." But you look to your right and see a flower pot falling as well. All the flower
pot is thinking was "Oh no. Not again..." If we knew why the flower pot was thinking that we
would be infinitely closer to the answer of the universe.
After letting out your non manly scream you look over to your left and see a strange
flower pot falling next to you.
You look at it for only a moment when something strange goes through your mind.
“Oh no, not again,” you’re not sure why, but you feel as if that if you knew why the flower pot was thinking that (and you are certain that it is) you would know a lot more about the universe than you do now.
Philosophic thoughts of the universe aside, you look back down towards the ground and a sudden realization its you. “Well, this was a gun dream,” you think to yourself.
Obviously it can’t be anything else, hell you are in Equestria for Celestia’s sake.... if you ever use that phrase again you need to remind yourself to slap yourself.
Either way though, this is still obviously a dream.
I begin to fall only to realize that I am not dreaming due to the actual feel of wind
on my face.
Or at least you would like to believe that this is a dream were it not for the actual wind you are feeling in your face right now.
At the realization that this is in fact, not a dream, you let out another manly scream.
Use your parachute
Pull out an umbrella and drift away like Mary Poppins. If not said umbrella is
available, then good thing you happened to be wearing your patented parachute parachute pants! Pull the string on the back to release a parachute from your parachute pants. If you happen to
have left those at home, then pull out a gallon of milk and start chugging furiously. You have got
to fortify your bones to withstand the impact of dropping several hundred thousand feet.
Okay that is a thought... and that might work. IF YOU HAD AN UMBRELLA!!!
Even if you did you are not Mary Poppins you aren’t even sure if that would work. And you never did get around to finishing those parachute pants you were working on.
Sometimes life is just cruel that way.
Oh and you don’t have any milk either. You don’t carry milk with you everywhere you go so obviously you wouldn’t have any right now.
You look at the ground zooming in closer to you and the only thing you can think
of is that you didn't get your hug from the adorable pegasus, also you wish you had some long
fall boots. You wonder what kind of drug did this to you because you need it more often. As the
ground is ever closer you thought up another thing... You didn't get to hug your favorite
princess...
As you fall your mind drifts back to Rainbow Dash... you never did get to hug her. You got ONE CHANCE to come here and you blew it. You blew it like the idiot at you are. You also wish you had some long fall boots right now, they would certainly help in this situation. You also mourn the fact that you didn’t get to hug your favorite princess either.
Let out tears of liquid pride! And remember! This is all just a dream anyway so
Dashie will catch you... right?
You let out tears of liquid pride as these thoughts take ahold of you. You know this isn’t a dream unfortunately, so the impact with the ground will be very real.
You let out a few more tears of liquid pride when another sudden realization hits you.
You look up.
Hope that Dash will save you via Sonic Rainboom before you give the ground a
new red paint job.
hope that she'll save you. after all, the ground will be very heavy-handed in
catching you.
Yell "I regret nothing!... oh and Rainbow can you catch me!?"
Scream "I regret nothing!" and continue falling.
Cry for help. I would expect Dashie to save me considering she wanted to hug
me. :P
She wouldn't let me die, would she?
Well, Rainbow catches you, of course!
To put it simply.
You do nothing.
Rainbow will save you.
Because she saw you fall.
Your fine.
Now to see If I got pants
If yes cause you were high before going to bed take your sunglasses out put them on when she catches you and say.
" Well nice of you...to drop in."
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
HHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rainbow Dash flies down as fast as anything ever creating 13 simultaneous sonic
rainbooms saving me
Don't be a complete fool. Mr. T pities the foo that don't know that Rainbow dash
is the fastest pegasus ever. She will catch you and become your waifu
Well you don’t see any sonic rainbooms but OF COUSE! How could you have been such a fool. Mr. T would be ashamed of you right now.
Of course Rainbow Dash would fly in to save you.
Not only is she the element of loyalty, but she’s not the kind of pony that would let someone plummet to their death.
Also you can swear that you can hear the Superman theme playing the background as you see her flying towards you for some reason.
Your mind wonders for a moment and thinks of how cool she would look with a cape right now.
But still.... How could you have been so stupid?
“I REGRET NOTHING!!!” You tell to her.
Only when those words leave your mouth do you even realize what you even said. “Oh... and RAINBOW DASH CAN YOU CATCH ME!!!???”
At those words, Rainbow Dash suddenly picks up speed.
She’s getting closer to you now... closer.... my god the Superman theme fits right now.
Spread you're body out to make yourself less aerodynamic, hopefully giving dash
enough time to catch you. After you head towards the ground, go looney tunes status and give
her a big kiss on the lips because of the joy of surviving free-fall and her saving you, then...
Of course! Why didn’t you think of that earlier.
You spread out your body to make yourself less aerodynamic, allowing Rainbow Dash to catch up to you.
Within an instant, she reaches you and hooks her forelegs under your arms to catch you.
Only a few meters before you hit the ground too.
My god she’s good.
She beats her wings furiously for a moment due to the extra weight before she gets a steady beat going again.
Afterwards, she gently lets you down on the ground.
“THANK YOU!!!” You practically scream as you hug Rainbow Dash like you wanted to back up on the cloud (you make a mental note to look into how the hell you were standing on that thing in the first place).
You think of giving her a kiss as well, but you decide not to.
“THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME!!!”
“Heh heh, no problem,” Rainbow Dash says as she smiles and hugs you back. “Its what I do.”
“HI!” A sudden high pitched, bubblegummy voice says suddenly disrupting the moment.
The two of you look over to see a certain pink pony with an impossibly poofy mane.
The smile on her face is as wide as her face is, possibly wider.
What do you do?
