Celestia's Bedroom

by Multitraveler

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 2593

What does Luna find when exploring the castle one day? She finds out what Celestia does in her room while nopony is looking, of course.

Luna is busy wandering the castle on a boring, game-less day and decides to look for her beloved sister so she can force Celestia to take her somewhere. Once at her dear sisters room she notices a crack in the door, peaks inside, and learns what her sibling does in her spare time. Man is it surprising! What happens when Luna turns Celestia into a secret internet sensation?

Published 2013-02-23 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-24 10:36:32 UTC

The Door Reveals All!

Luna was bored all day. She was incredibly bored! So amazingly bored in fact, that she decided to talk to others! It may have been drastic, but it was her only hope against the boredom. She decided to take a walk around the castle. Great, she was getting exercise. This had better be worth it. She soon saw her sisters bedroom, a few seconds after leaving her bedroom.

'Thank goodness! We thought we would have to listen to other ponies! We can simply force our sister to bring us somewhere fun.' Luna thought to herself.

Luna made her way to Celestia's room, and as she was at the door, she noticed a small crack between it and the wall. She decided to spy on her sister for a while. It had been a while since she had done so.....A few thousand years to be exact.

Luna made herself invisible with a spell that she used to spy on stallions in her spare time. She peeked into the room, and saw something she thought she would never see.

Celestia was playing video games! She never thought she'd see the day that her sister played Xbox.

It turns out that Celestia was quite adept in the art of gaming, for when Luna came back with a large tub of popcorn, some lotion, and a camera, she had prestiged in 'COS' AKA Call Of Scootaloo, the chicken chronicles.

Celestia spent her day, attacking food, pouncing on her favorite Toy-doll, and gaming. At one point she even busted out the lotion. Luna was losing her boredom to this fantastic pass-time. Why had she not thought of this before!? Luna also scared the living giblets out of every guard that passed by. At one point, a guard just sat down next to Luna and looked inside, he then began to film Celestia's hysterics.

Luna soon joined in, and they agreed to mix their films later. Luna gave the guard her number, and when he got her number, he farted. She then farted. The entire planet was set into a chain of farts, even Celestia. Once this was over, Luna used Ctrl+Z on the farts.

Luna invited a few cameramen, gossipers, and a small treat stand owner to the area around the crack. Soon, there was a crowd. Luna cast a sound cancelling spell on the door, and room, so that her sister would not ruin the quickly growing internet sensation.

Luna and the guard met up in the hallway, each making computers out of pure swag, right in the hallway. They edited the films and submitted them.

It had 84,435,326 views on YouNewb. Luna decided to start charging for the view. It was 50 bits per pony, for one minute of view-time.

The reporters interviewed Luna, and the guard. Luna said that they were dating, and the guard said 'giggetty', and kissed her. The reporters took ALL THE PICTURES! The reporters soon glued themselves to the crack in the door. Luna and her new lover just stood in the hallway and counted their money.

By the end of the day, Luna had made 1,250 bits, at her sister's expense. She decided to do this more often. She even made a new YouNewb account, called ' Celestia's Bedroom '.

Celestia's Bedroom immediately had about 10,000+ subscribers.

She was gonna ride this out.

Luna couldn't sleep due to the massive amounts of loud, reporter ponies outside her chambers. She took drastic measures.

Luna walked outside with the BEST sound-canceling headset that bits can buy, and blared 'Photograph', by Nickleback. Some ponies held their ears in pain as they ran away, others just jumped out the window. One pony just ignored it. Luna named him the new Prince, and gave him a room. He was, truly, a fit to rule.

The pesky news-reporting ponies were now gone, and Luna was tired. She did, after all, need her energy to make her sister famous in the morning. Luna prepared her sexy dress for sleepytimes.

Luna applied her night-time Swag, and climbed into bed.

Luna went to sleep that night, with her bottle of 'Just-In-Case-Lotion' next to her, on a bed of money.

Celestia's Chambers

Celestia had the weirdest feel that thousand of ponies were watching her eat that banana earlier. It's a good thing she ate it in the most awesomest way ever. Celestia was tired after her 'Do-Nothing-Day', so she applied her night-time Swag, and went to bed. She had about twelve ponies around her as she slept, for tonight, she chose to sleep in her pimp bed, with maximum, hardcore, YOLOCATSWAGitude. She, needless to say, slept peacefully, and with much lotion.

The Prince's Chambers

'So glad I bought those maximum strength earplugs!' The prince thought to himself, as he drifted off to sleep, with his Keg of lotion nearby. His day tomorrow was certainly going to be very interesting. He decided to activate 'boop' mode, in his bed.

His bed suddenly transformed into a cloud made of sexiness. He applied his night time Swag, hopped into bed, and lay down. He hoped the author would stop saying Swag........... He slept unhappily, knowing that Swag is a very important part of the vocabulary.

Somewhere In Canterlot

Swag was everywhere in the rave-bar in Canterlot. All the most famous ponies were watching Celestia's Bedroom at the moment. On the giant flat screen TV, Celestia was playing COS and using enough lotion to drown a whale.

There was a large amount of 'D'awwww's in the bar. Celestia was also eating a banana. Celestia began to yell. She then began to rage. Then she started to yell 'NOOBZ!' and 'HAX!' AND 'LAG!' The majority of the bar-ponies had no idea what she was talking about.

After the show, the ponies of the bar pulled themselves out of the rave area, after donning on their glasses and hats. The ponies were walking home, to watch more of Celestia's Bedroom.

One pony remained. It was........

Author's Note

I got REALLY bored, so I wrote this. Yes. The other chapters will be longer.
Just in case you didn't know. The lotion is applied to the knees to prevent ashiness.

I will be creating a second 'Celstia's Bedroom'. One that is more serious, if that's possible.

If you like it, thanks. I don't know if anyone will, but I think it wasn't half bad. Send some comments my way. Stay tastical. Love, TheMultiTraveler.

Celestia's Second Debut

Luna awoke from her lotion-filled money sleep. She slowly got up and shook out the smurfs out of her mane. They screamed their little smurfy screams as they flew into her pet Mango's mouth, never to be seen again. Luna's new boyfriend ran into the room, screaming something about toast. She ignored him and stroked her pomegranate.

The Prince then walked into the room and said " What a swagtastical day in swagville. How do you swag, my dear Luna?"

Luna rolled her head in a circle as she replied " Sweeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrvvve!"

The prince left, saying something about twerking and yolo.

Luna began the journey to her veranda, which would allow her to raise the sun. She strutted what her P-90X workout allowed her to strut, which wasn't much, considering the fact that she only did P-1/2X. She still had pride in herself and that was truly, all that mattered.

As she began her wobbly walk, she sang in a Beautiful voice that caused several woodland creatures to implode:

"I have a passionate affair in my trousers, and I am not afraid to allow it to be viewed. I am sexually attractive, and am aware of said fact."

She finally reached the end of her catwalk, and her calves were burning! She took a short, three minute, break on some guards back. It was later found out that the guard had sunken three floors down. She finally made it to her veranda, and looked out over her subjects. There were thousands!

"Citizens of my fair city. I will now bring you Celestia's Bedroom!" She addressed them, and was met with hungry cheers.

She walked back to her bed, which seemed much closer, now that she looked at the five feet from the other direction. Never the less, she began the trek to her sisters room.

Luna applied the needed spells, and got the booth in place outside Celestia's room.

It seemed that today, Celestia had bought a new game. "Twerk Twerk Revolution". It seemed to work out her thighs very well. Luna decided to borrow it later.

Ponies began streaming in as the guards opened the doors. Those poor guards didn't make it out of the slowly moving crowd in time. R.I.P. Those two guards no one knew.

The crowds flowed in smoothly, and Luna filmed as usual. Eventually, there was a predicament.

Luna was stealing cookies with her hair, when Celestia began walking towards the door. A reporter screamed out "Hashtag, Ruuuuuuuuun!!!!!"

Luna yelled " Everyone act natural!", and so it was.

Celestia walked out of her room to see completely ordinary ponies doing completely ordinary things.

About fifteen ponies were doing Zumba. Five were twerking. Three were break dancing. Luna was Playing with a ball of yarn. The prince was on his back, opening and closing his arms, while screaming " Photosynthesis! Photosynthesis!"

A completely normal day in her kingdom. She helped herself to about five tubs of ice-cream, and headed back to her room.

"That was close" They all said in unison.

"Okay ponies. Back to work." And so it was!

Luna then continued waking up in a new Bugatti.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!" Luna screeched.

"What's wrong?!" Screamed some reporters in confusion.

"Oh. Sorry, it takes a while to get used to being this sexy." She replied.

"I know, right?!" Replied the Prince.

After about five hours of Twerk Twerk revolution, Celestia decided it was time for some 'Spike makes advances on Twilight'

Spike began his slow ascension up the stairs to Twilight's room. He noted that she was still completely engrossed in the mountain of books that towered over her concentrating form. She seemed so caught up in her studies, that she most likely wouldn't even register the presence of her young, scale gilded stalker.

Now was his chance.

Spike slowly lowered himself into a hunters crawl, his small form concentrating all of his muscle power on making no noise. He set out on this epic journey -which he had been planning for months to terminate any hint of failure- that would give him his greatest desire: The chance to smack Twilight in the face with dirty underwear.

The viewers were completely focused on the game, and how could they not be? This was the most heart-felt, tear-jerking, sad story of a boy and his dream, that they didn't notice Luna and her crew pickpocketing them for everything they had, except one penny each.

Luna wasn't heartless.

Celestia carefully mashed the #%$& out of every button on her controller, in hopes that it would completely conceal the miniscule purple dragon stalking his pastel prey.

Her hopes became realities, as the baby dragon slowly, ever so slowly, crawled across the floor to his sister/mother/aunt. He lifted his body ever-so-slightly to avoid any noise being created by his scales, and it was as though he wasn't even there.

Celestia was so close to her goal. She could taste the dirty underwear on Twilight's face at this point.

*ClickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickScyk*

~Ingame~

*Unspeakably loud fart noise*

"SpiiiiiIIIIIIKE!"

Twilight screams as she spots the small adolescent with the underwear in his claws, poised positioning for a pounce at her head was obvious in his stance.

"It was Owluicious!"

"Owluicious! This means the pound!"

"Whoowhat the @*&%!?"

"Son of a Luna *%$&#*% &^% $%^& Mother %$^#$%" Celestia screamed, once the cutscene ended.

Now Twilight's face would never receive it's underwear christening.

"She sure does curse a lot." Luna observed.

Luna went back to being a scatman.

"Yeeeeeehaaaaaaaw" A guard yelled.

"Scitbootiboopeddybopizooplow." Luna responded.

"Can't talk. Going for the belt!" The guard replied.

Applejack then bucked the living hell out of his face, with great passion.

"Ain't nopony jackin' mah tahtle." She said after a few more good bucks to the spleen.

"Luna, help me!" The guard plead.

"Hhhhhhhmmmmmm Ooooooookaaaaaaay." She said in exasperation.

Luna then slapped Applejack with a wad of rolled up money, and led her down the entire hall and out of the castle, all the while screaming; "Bad Applejack. Bad pony. Bad. No more pie for you!"

To which Applejack responded; "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Buuuuuuuuuut, Luna didn't care. Applejack would get no pie. Pie is for good ponies. Ponies who help Luna overthrow her sister. Ponies who help Luna set up that garage band she's been wanting to do. Ponies who would cuddle with Luna. Ponies who wo- Hold on.....Luna just gave me something.......Ponies who like long walks in the beautiful, sexy, sexy, sexy, amazing, sexy, awesome, Very sexy, sexy, majestic, sexy, fun, cool, great, sexy, Unfathomably sexy, moonlight.

The Prince trotted into his room, for he had urgent business to attend to. He walked to his bed, lay down his crown, Sunglasses, other sunglasses, other other sunglasses, Jesus Christ how many sunglasses, five paragraphs of sunglasses, and finally, his emergency superlotio.

Finally, the Prince lay down his last pair of sunglasses, and himself on the bed.

"Aah." He sighed in pure happiness.

'Finally away from that one creepy guard.' He said to himself

"You said my name your highness?" Said a guard, seemingly appearing from thin air.

"....." The prince said, while staring at his new guest.

"......" She replied.

"Wanna buck?" She asked.

"Hex yeah, I do!" He replied.

They then proceeded to buck every tree in Equestria, as mothers shielded their children's eyes, protecting their innocent minds from the display ahead of them.

Luna grabbed her jar of moneys from the table beyond Celestia's door, as she made the table disappear, and went to bed. Each of the fans, reporters, and the Prince followed suit.

"G'night." They each echoed as they went to their respectable homes/rooms.

Luna inched herself into bed, and prepared for a night of money filled lotion, and lotion filled money.

She activated 'sleepy' mode on her flat screen, and slept peacefully.

The Prince climbed into bed, and lay down with his new companion, who seemed to be peacefully asleep.

'Today has been a good day. I feel great to have such a fun new life, and it's all thanks to the fact that I decided to come to the castle for that first job.....' The Prince thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Luna's boyfriend shifted his weight from side to side, as his mind filled with a nightmare unlike any he had ever experienced.

Celestia turned off her game system, and allowed herself to make her way to the bed in her chambers.
She had a big day ahead of her tomorrow, and needed plenty of rest.

Author's Note

I hope you guys like the new chapter, which has an actual hint of a plot. Shout-outs to everyone in my favorites, including OmegaZilo, GimmyJibbsJr, and Everyone else. If I did not use your name, don't be offended. It only means that you're not special to me. At all. I could use some help with the art for this story, since no one has gotten back to me on it.......If you want to help, or just feel like doing it, Pm me and/or comment.