Dr. Anonymous or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Dash

by clopper69

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Slice of Life, Sex, Human
Length: 2215

Rainbow Dash takes a fall... right into Anon's arms.

Rainbow Dash ends up on Earth and is taken care of by everyone's favorite not pony Anonymous. Hilarity ensues.

Published 2013-02-22 05:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-26 04:58:34 UTC

Crash

Lying on the wet grass on a cold spring night staring at the stars, Anon takes another hit of green from his glass piece. Anon was a simple man who enjoyed his weed as much as he enjoyed nature’s beauty. Just as he was ashing the last of his bowl, the sky was filled by a multi-colored blast of light. Shielding his eyes and questioning his sanity, he started to wonder whether or not that weed was laced. While peeking through his fingers he saw a flaming blue streak crashing down to Earth. Fearing the worst, he headed back to his car and grabbed a flashlight hoping to find out what the hell just happened.

Sprinting towards the crash site, heart racing, he came upon a tiny pastel blue horse with wings and it seemed to have a rainbow colored mane. Anon thought that this was the strangest alien he’s ever seen and to be completely honest, the only alien he’s ever seen. Prodding the alien’s wings with his flashlight it seemed to groan with pain. Although Anon wasn’t a doctor he could tell its wings were broken and probably a few other bones judging by the looks of her.

The horse’s eyes started to blink then slowly open. “Did I win?” the alien said in a raspy female’s voice, then started coughing harshly. Blood trickled out of her mouth and then she fell silent. He didn’t know why but he felt the need to try and save this poor helpless creature. Maybe it was beautiful ultra violet eyes or her adorable human like voice, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint why.

He had to come up with a plan to get this thing home to fix her wounds. He couldn’t take it to a vet because they might keep it or report it to someone else who will do who knows what with her. Thinking back to his days as a Boy Scout he remembered to not move someone injured by picking them up or it may do even more damage to them. Anon didn’t know if the creature could still hear him but tried to keep calm anyways. “Don’t try to move around, I’ll be right back.”

He hoofed it back to his car, grabbed his skateboard and made his way back to the horse again. Anon places his palm on her chest to make sure she’s still breathing. Luckily, he feels a faint heartbeat. Relived he says, “I’m going to put you on this so don’t struggle or you’ll fall and hurt yourself even worse.” Placing the skateboard down, he gently picks up her frail body and lays her on it. Slowly, Anon picks up his makeshift stretcher and gradually walks her back to his vehicle. He then rests her body down in the back seat and positions his jacket over top of delicate body.

It was easy for him to sneak her in to his apartment at this time of night. Setting her on his bed, Anon went about finding whatever he could to help her. He only had passing medical knowledge but it was not worth the risk to seek help from others. Trying his best he cleaned her off, gave her some pain meds, set her bones, and wrapped her wounds. Even if she did pass away Anon told himself he did the best he could and just wished for the best.

Rise

The morning after next, Rainbow Dash awoke from her comatose state feeling sore all over. Barely pulling the covers down, she was assaulted by a pain in her shoulder and groaned. Looking around the sky blue room with fluffy clouds she first notices the giant bed she’s in. Rainbow began to fear she was captured by a giant monster. There are pictures on the wall of what appears to be some sort of hairless apes, strange machines with flashing lights of color, and other things she didn’t quite understand.

Ding! A harsh ring came from behind the only door and cold sweat started to drip from her every pore. Throwing the covers back over her head she started shaking with terror. Knock. Knock Knock. Dash was frozen in place as the door began to creak open. “You awake alien? I don’t know what you eat so I made carrot cake, since Earth horses eat carrots. I mean, I think they do but if you won’t eat it I will,” Anon said with chuckle.

“Where am I and who are you?” His laughter turned her fear into curiosity. “You’re in my sex dungeon and my name is Buster. Buster Cherry. You’re my new toy.” Anon decided to see what, if any, sense of humor this little horse had. Rainbow’s face turned red with anger. “I swear if you did anything to me while I was sleeping I’ll kill you and I’m nopony’s toy!” She tried to get up but a wave of agony seemed to wash over her face and she fell off the bed knocking her unconscious.

A couple hours later Rainbow awoke to Anon washing her in the sink. “For such a tiny creature you have a lot of spunk in you, and I’m not talking about the cream filling I stuffed in you with while you were passed out.” Raising a weak hoof to punch him, he grabbed her weak arm and held it down. “Now now, my little alien I was only joking earlier. My name is Anon and I found you when you crashed in the forest.” Running the wet cloth behind her ears she lowered her hoof. “I nursed you back to health and you’ve been asleep for two days...”

He pulled her out of the sink and toweled her off and she began to pester Anon with some questions. After finishing telling her about Earth, humans, and about a million other things, she sheepishly said “Yeah, thanks for saving me and everything. I was such an idiot. There was a Zap Apple storm and Lightning Dust said that I couldn’t clear every cloud in less than ten seconds flat.” Anon tried to interrupt her because she started to sound like a marketing executive for some shitty kid’s product but she said she would explain later. “So I performed my signature move the Sonic Rainboom but something went wrong, then I was blinded by a bright light and somehow must have ended up here.”

Brushing her slightly damp mane Anon carried her to his living room not wanting to risk her hurting herself again. Rainbow’s pot belly started to rumble and when she gave him that cute little beggar’s face his heart grew three sizes that day. “Do you have any of that cake left, I’m starving.”

Horizon

“Finished!” Rainbow Dash said as she pulled her frosting covered face up from the plate, shooting Anon a shit eating grin. Eyes widened Anon turned towards her. “That’s not fair! Half of the cake is on your face. That’s not fair!” Licking her chops and laughing, “Quit being such a sore loser. I always win and you know why?” Feeling ashamed to lose to such a pint size braggart he simply stated “because you cheat?” Pulling her hoof to her mouth she released a tiny burp. “No it’s because I’m so awesome!”

There was something about the way her little tummy jiggled when she giggled. “At least your appetite is healthy,” he said snapping back to reality. She changed her gaze back down towards her plate “I don’t think I’ll be able to fly soon though.” Rubbing her sore wings Rainbow said, “My body is still pretty sore from that fall.” Inching closer her put an arm around her and pulled her in for a hug while she rubbed her muzzle against his chest.

“If you can heal half as fast as you eat, you’ll be able to fly tomorrow” Anon said half-jokingly. “Hey, I just haven’t been able to exercise for the past couple of days, I’m not fat. I’m big boned.” Rainbow said trying to save face. “That’s what they all say.” He replied poking her in the belly when a tiny shockwave rippled through her plump flesh. “Hey buddy, hands of the merchandise” she said playfully punching Anon in the shoulder.

Walking the dishes back to the kitchen, Anon kept replaying in his mind how hypnotic Dash’s gut was. How soft it was to the touch and the way it vibrated when he poked her. It caused a stirring in his loins just thinking about it. How could even think of an alien this way? He always thought it wasn’t right for humans and other species to have intercourse. This was wrong on so many levels.

A voice came from his living room “Hey do you have anything else to eat, I’m starving.” Rainbow shouted. He brought his palm to his face and thought how foolish it was to only give her one piece of cake, she hadn’t eaten in days. He knew as much about horse cuisine as he did alien cuisine so he started grabbing food at random to see what she liked. Being a marijuana enthusiast meant he always had snacks on hand. He started by grabbing the rest of the cake, a family sized bag of cool ranch Doritos, a bowl of Trix, and some cold General Tso’s chicken with half the rice left and headed back to the living room.

Anon’s arms were so full he could barely move. Kneeling down Dash took each item off and set them down on the coffee table. Her pupils dilated at the sight of the meal in front of her and she started dribbling. “I can have all of this?” she said, sounding like a child on Christmas day. It wasn’t his plan to let her eat everything, although he didn’t want to disappoint the poor creature. Plus, it would be interesting to see her try to eat the whole thing and fail. “Uhh yeah, that’s ok with me.”

Expansion

Of course, she dove in with no hesitation. Popping open the bag of chips, she put her face in the bag and deeply inhaled the tangy ranch scent. Magically, she grabbed a hooveful of chips and put them on top of a piece of cake. Grabbing it by two hands to make sure no piece fell off, she drove the food monstrosity into her mouth and moaned. “Oh. My. Gosh. This is soo good!” He made sure to remember that the little glutton must have some strange taste buds.

Rainbow grabbed the plastic lid off the Chinese aluminum food tray and tossed it over her should nonchalantly. She dug in the bag for a large chip and used it to scoop a chunk of General Tso’s chicken. “Hey Anon, what is this and why does it smell like Scootaloo?” she said pointing to the cold piece of meat. “It’s a veggie chunklet with a special sauce, made of soy. It’s made to taste like chicken. Don't worry, it's not real meat.” thinking quickly on his feet. He was curious as to how strange an appetite this creature actually had. Even though horses on Earth were vegetarian, he thought this beast would eat anything.

Rainbow brought it up to her nose, took another light inhale of its aromas. She then quickly tossed it up into the air, rolled her head back and extended her tongue, waiting for it to fall in her mouth. Being athletic as she was, Dash caught it with ease and chomped it down with one bite. Her eyes seemed to roll back into her head as she licked her lips. After she munched more than half of the bag of Doritos used to pick up the chicken, she put her head face down and started licking the container giggling like a giddy school girl.

Patting her belly, she scanned the table in front of her for her next unlikely pairing of food. Picking up a piece of carrot cake, she rolls it in the rice then gently dips one end into the bowl of cereal letting it get soggy. “Fluttershy calls this stuff Bunny Cake, she makes it for Angel all the time,” she said with crumbs covering her face and body, food wedged between her teeth and a multicolored hue of stains on her hooves that rivaled her mane in terms of brilliance. It seemed to take a while for her to manage to chew the mushy bread but the entire time she seemed to be in a state of food-like nirvana.

Dash’s eyes were closed while she enjoyed her little exotic creations. While watching her, Anon realized he was never more excited in his entire life. He had to sit down because the blood from his head rushed to his “nether regions”. He never felt this way before about any woman. Once again she went back to eating her “bunny cake,” and while Dash was face down in her meal, he stealthily tucked his boner in his waistband as so not to raise suspicion. All he could think about was how much cuter she would look if she was just a little bit heavier. Just for the curves he told himself, rationalizing his sick perversion for the chubby little monster.