There she is...the prettiest mare in all of Ponyville. Scratch that, the prettiest mare in all of Equestria. The way her navy blue mane and tail shimmer in the Celestia's perfect sunlight, the way her cream coat looked as soft and plush as the clouds she could so easily walk upon. All I can think of while even this close to her, almost 50 feet, is how i'm not worthy, of how she's way out of my league. It leaves me both nervous and fearful, something I feel often.
My name is Surefire Tactics, just a simple unicorn from Ponyville. I know my name makes me sound like some sort of great general or master tactician...but I'm not. Well, at least outside of my strategy games I'm not. That's my talent though, tactical combat, or at least so says the bow and arrow on my flank.
It's funny how fate deals us our cards, huh? Here I am, a master tactician, stuck in Ponyville and cursed with a less than athletic figure. I even have the pure white coat and unicorn horn to make it in the Royal Guard, but fate has cursed me with position. Well, at least I'll always have my strategy games.
The mare on the other hoof...most would call her blessed. Her name is Jay, the most stunning pegasus I've ever laid eyes on. That's not her name by the way, it's just Jay. She's a pegasus born into a wealthy family, blessed with good looks, good talent, and a position to use it in.
On her flank rests a simple music note, not even worthy of her true talent. A whole symphony should be there for how good she is. Her voice is golden, but that's not where she shines...when she picks up a flute; your ears will melt, your soul will become enraptured, and your heart will become hers.
Though sadly, her heart will never become yours. It belongs to another, an upstart artist from Trottingham who goes by the nom de plume "Lightning Rabbit." Ridiculous, even for an artist. So all I can do is dream for now....or perhaps there is another way.
I spent days developing this ingenious plan to win her over. I read all of the romance books the local librarian would allow me to check out, I started reading self-help books, and I even started reading mare's magazines. After all, know your enemy. That's all this is, an elaborate war of the hearts. Some clever parings in the party, a little magic, and a lot of out-maneuvering. Simple, right?
I went over the plan once more in my head, swoop in once she falls into my cleverly laid trap. When she visits the Apple family stand, as she does every day, I will use my magic to drop the top shelf of the stand, dropping jars of applesauce on her and drenching her in said sauciness of apples. Then I, being the obvious hero of the tale, will swoop in to help her clean up and maybe invite her over. Then, I'm in.
She glides over to the next stall. each movement was deliberate and fluid. So graceful. I browse the stalls around me as to not look suspicious, but I keep one eye on her. She's approaching the Apple stall, just a few more seconds. My horn, which peeks through my shiny black mane, glows a dim emerald green as it swells around the latches holding the upper shelf.
3
2
1
I unlatch the shelf and it falls, the jars of applesauce fall to the stall and shatter. The applesauce splatters all over the running the stall mare and Jay. the former lets out a few unsavory curses, and the latter shrieks in surprise.
"Eww!" Jay spreads her blue tipped wings and shakes them furiously, trying to get the sticky apple substance out of her perfectly preened feathers.
"Ah'm so sorry, miss! Ah swear that's never happened before!" Applejack produces a towel from underneath her stall and gives it to Jay. Nu-uh, that's not how it's supposed to go down!
I start a brisk trot over to the duo, I have to get there soon or else the window is gone and the plan falls apart. I'm so close, I can hear the annoyed mumbling of the pegasus, just a few more-
"Are you alright, my dear?" I stop dead in my tracks when i hear that voice. That accent, infuriating to the ears. It's Trottingham, but it carries the aloofness of any artist. It's Lightning. He trots right past me, he's white...just like me, and he's wearing a top hat. Show off.
"I'm fine, Lightning. This stall broke and i got applesauce all over me...and I just got back from the spa..." The two embraced, which only made my blood boil even further. Some people had all of the luck. Today, like usual, it's not me that has the luck. They comfort each other, then they go off...probably to her house.
I hang my head just a little bit more than usual, I lost. Go figure. I thought my plan was fool proof, but it only revealed that my plan was full of holes. Ugh...remind me never to try anything like that again unless it's an absolute sure thing.
Right...well, might as well do what i normally do with any spare time I have. Play a game. Perhaps today I'll play a few levels of Flame Rune. Or maybe I'll head off to the park to play chess with some of the older ponies in the town...I think I'll go with the latter. After all, they have some good stories to tell.
I trot past the mare at the Apple stall, giving her a curt nod as a silent form of apology. I know that she doesn't know that I have something to apologize for, but it makes me feel better about how I screwed up. She only gives me a polite smile and and a kind wave, something I don't deserve at the moment.
I head towards the park. Have you ever noticed that when you're more lonely than ever, that's when you see all of the happy couples? Lyra and Bonbon, Big Mac and Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Soarin, even Pinkie carrying some lunch to Applejack. The more I see, the more sad I feel.
"Looking for a game...?" I look up to see an old stallion sitting at one of the various chess tables scattered around the park. I've seen him around before, but I haven't played him yet.
"Sure..." I take a seat across from him and set up my pieces. I'm black, hes white.
"Well..?" He looks at me expectantly, his yellow eyes staring right at me. His mane, black with a red outline, is thinning in spots but still has enough grip to gently blow in the wind. Contrary to how I view the old, he looks peaceful.
"Well, what?" I set up the last of my pieces, Prince and Princess.
"Aren't you going to tell me your name, or are all young equines this rude?" His pieces are already set up, he moves a single pawn forward with a touch of his hoof.
"Surefire..." I mirror his move.
"There, was that so hard? My name's Lightning..." He spreads old blue wings as he thinks, obviously thinking many steps ahead. Then his tentative hoof gives another pawn a gentle push forward two spaces.
:"Lightning." I spit the name out venomously. This earned me a questioning look from the older pegasus. I notice this and drop my gaze back down to the checkered board. "Sorry. Didn't mean it like that...I have some distaste for somepony else named Lightning..." I mirror his move once again.
"Distaste among ponies? Must be over a mare..." I looked at him surprisingly. "Hey, just because I'm old doesn't mean I'm stupid. I got into plenty of love triangles as a young colt...but those are behind me now, and they've left me with a lot of experience..." His bishop moves to the center of the board, a foolish move in my mind. "So what's the problem, he steal your mare?"
"No...I'm trying to steal his, actually." I idly move a piece. At this point, I don't really care.
"Ah, jealousy. A great thing that causes many a squabble, especially over the opposite sex." Another move, another piece of the conversation.
"Yeah, but he already has all of the luck. I mean, can't I have just a little for once? Can't I get the girl this one time?" I don't even move a piece, I just stare into the board as if the squares hold the answers to my problems.
"Luck is a fickle mistress. You can't do anything special to have her smile at her...there's no winning her heart through tricks or plans. Sometimes, you just have to do something and hope for the best, luck be damned. Make your own luck for once and quit waiting for lady luck to come to you." The old stallion gave me a kind, weary smile. Everything was a little bit more clear now. i finally knew what I had to do. So I stood up and looked at him.
"Thanks." As I walked away I heard the old stallion knock over my Princess with his Prince and give a quiet 'Checkmate.'
I now knew where I had to go, and it was all the way across town. Past the market, past the library, even past Sweet Apple Acres to a house sat loftily on a hill. By the time I got there, the pegasi had started the scheduled rainstorm. It was pouring down, and I had nothing to protect me from the assaulting precipitation. So I was soaked to the bone. My black mane hung over my eyes, my coat had that wet sheen to it, and I was cold.
The house I was going to was half normal construction, half cloud house. Both a story each. It was elegant on both accounts, way above anything I would ever be able to have, or even dream to have. I knew she was home at least, the soft glow of candlelight through one of the windows confirmed that.
A pit formed in my stomach, as it usually did when I thought about Jay. I tried to push it down, but it wouldn't budge an inch, nay, not even a millimeter. The house was intimidating, but in the best possible way. Like the way a beautiful mare was intimidating...but perhaps I only make that comparison because of who's inside the house.
I shove all of that intimidation and fear down, and start walking up the hill towards the house. Through the slippery ground, I somehow managed to climb all the way to the top, slipping only a few times and ruining my coat with mud. The large oak door lay ahead of me, I reached out with my magic quite slowly to grasp the iron knocker on the door. i gave a few taps with it and waited.
"Hell-Oh my Luna. Are you alright, sir?" Her voice is melodious to the ears, it's like the sun has just come out and is now basking me in its glorious warmth. i forgot where I am for a second, then her voice once again snaps be back to the harsh, rainy, cold reality. "Are you alright?"
"U-Umm...y-yeah. Sorry...I was...somewhere else." I nervously move my mane out of my face and try to brush some mud out of my usually pearly white coat. "You..umm...you know me. Or at least you did. I'm Surefire Tactics, we went to high school together..."
She gave me a curious look, then her eyes lit up. "Oh! Oh! i remember you, you're the guy who always sat in the back and played chess and junk, right?" I gave a very embarrassed nod. "Right, so what's up?"
No plans, I'm not going to rely on lady luck or any convoluted schemes this time. This time, I make my own luck. This time, Surefire gets the girl.
"W-Well...I was wondering if maybe...you wanted to do something sometime?" the nervous feeling built even more, I wanted to run away, retreat. Even restart. I just didn't want to be here anymore. The look she was giving me didn't help settle the feelings either, it was a mix between confusion and endearment.
I was going to get rejected, I just knew it. I knew it to the very core of my soul.
Then she did something I didn't expect, she smiled. Not maliciously, or sadly, but kindly...
Four P.M. Tea time in Ponyville. Well not all around Ponyville, just in the houses that participated in the event. One such house sat loftily atop a hill on the outskirts of town, the first floor was a normal upper-class house, the second floor was quite different though: only the finest clouds made the upper-level of the domicile.
On the cloud level, the corner room held all of the playthings for a young filly. Playhouses, dolls, and colorful artwork adorned the walls. In the center stood a small circular table, little plastic tea cups and a tea pot sat atop it with two chairs surrounding it.
In one chair sat the young filly to whom the room belonged. She was four, close to five. Her neatly groomed sapphire blue mane hung around her ears, her bright playful eyes studied the object opposite of her.
Said object was small plushie who stared lifelessly back at her. Its green button eyes were framed by a patchwork of white cloth and a loose black mane made of thick yarn. His name was Mr. Surefire and he was the little filly’s bestest friend in the whole wide world.
“Would you like some tea, Mr. Surefire?” The little pegasus asked politely. The doll, for what it’s worth, simply slumped in his chair. “I know you don’t like tea parties, but I gots to make you a proper gentlecolt.” Her tiny cream colored hoof pushed the plush pony so he sat up straight. “So let Lady Jay pour you a cup.”
She lifted the plastic teapot with her teeth and poured her partner an imaginary cup of tea, then she proceeded to pour herself a cup. Carefully, she put her friend’s cloth hoof on the cup and smiled at him, waiting.
“Do I have to…?” The doll asked in a whiny voice. “Tea is gross.” Mr. Surefire’s plush hoof pushed the cup away.
Jay gave her bestest friend her bestest stern glare, which was actually quite adorable. “Mr. Surefire, you promised you would try!” The little doll crumpled under her gaze and let his head fall to the table.
“Ugh…fine.” The little doll caved to his friend’s demand, which warranted a smile from the filly and a pat on the head from her. “But I won’t like it…”
Jay took her cup between her two front hooves and took a long imaginary sip. A look of disgust crossed her face, something was seriously wrong with the tea….she forgot the sugar! How could she forget the sugar?!
“Don’t drink that, Mr. Surefire!” Quickly, Jay reached across the table and took the plastic cup away from her friend, who just gave her an accusatory glance.
“Why? Is it poison? I knew it!” The got out of the chair and right into a shoebox that was below it. “You’ll never get me!”
Jay just rolled her eyes, sometimes Mr. Surefire was just so paranoid. He always thought she was out to get him, weird little doll he was.
“No! it’s not poison! I just forgot the sugar!” her voice squeaked with indignation and annoyance . Just once she wanted a normal playtime with Mr. Surefire, but noooo he had to be difficult.
She got out of her chair, stomped over to the shoebox and grabbed him between her teeth. The little doll flung his arms wildly and fought her grip.
“You mean you forgot the poison!” The paranoid doll yelled. Truthfully he was just trying to get out of this tea party. He hated girly activities….but hey, It’s the price you pay when you have a filly for a bestest friend. He heard the filly grunt as she put him back in his chair and push it so he couldn’t escape even if he wanted to.
Quietly, the filly stalked her way back to her side of the table and sat in her chair. Mr. Surefire put his arms on the table and watched her. Jay opened the sugar container on the table and put two little scoops of the white powder into her cup, and three into his. He did like sweet things, he always told Jay that’s why she was his bestest friend…because she was the sweetest thing in the world.
That brought a smile to his face, which in turn made her smile. Just a simple thought made him completely open to this whole tea party thing…after all, it wasn’t the activity that mattered, it was who you shared it with.
--
“What’s she doing in there?” The question came from behind him, he was too busy watching his daughter play with her favorite stuffed animal to hear his wife come up behind him.
“Oh, just having a tea party with that hand-me-down you gave her…” He gave a small smile, watching his daughter use her imagination was always fun to watch.
“Mr. Surefire?” He nodded and continued watching. “Oh he doesn't like tea parties, he’ll fight her tooth and nail.” Both parents gave a short laugh, but something told the father that his wife wasn't joking.
I Can't Promise You Anything
"I can do this..." Surefire stared at his reflection, attempting to psyche himself up for the upcoming train wreck. He wasn't one for stressful situations, and he wasn't one for life changing decisions. But hey, love makes us do stupid things right? "Right...it's just simple...whatever comes out...go with it." After all, it wasn't every day when you got to propose to somepony you loved.
His horn lit up green and a small velvet box encased in his emerald glow came from his suit pocket. It was still safe, good. It would be just his luck to lose it this close to the actual proposal. Luckily, lady luck seemed to be smiling on him....well for now at least.
Surefire took a deep breath and stowed the ring box back in his suit pocket. Slowly, he pulled himself away from the sink and over to the bathroom door. Beyond it lay a whole restaurant of ponies, ponies who were there for anniversaries, dinner parties, business meetings...and one pony who was there on a date with him.
Deep breaths, he reminded himself.
With a gentle push of magic, the door swung open. Surefire calmly trotted out into the large dining area, for a moment the nervousness from the bathroom came back when he saw the cream colored mare across the room. All of this was hinging on Surefire's calmness, and lady luck being on his side. The latter was less reliable than the former. That's saying something seeing as how his knees were knocking harder than a Jahorsah's Witness on a door.
With great effort, the white pony pushed on. He moved across the room, weaving between tables an waiters to where his love sat. She looked right at home in this atmosphere, a simple, expensive pink dress coating her elegant frame, and approving glances from every pony in the room. Surefire was regarded as an amateur in a rented suit...well he was, but that's beside the point.
"You took long enough in there." The little joke was meant just for him, and he chuckled at it...albeit nervously. But for some reason, he felt like the little quip echoed around the dining hall and all eyes were now on him.
"Y-yeah, well...a line. There was a line." He gulped down another mouthful of dry air, adding to the uncomfortable feeling settling within him. He pulled the chair out, sat down, and pushed it in with his magic. It was a little hard to concentrate but he got it done.
"I can't believe how slow the service is tonight, usually they're so quick.." Jay leaned back some in her chair, trying to get a glimpse into the kitchen on the opposite side of the room. The truth was, Surefire may have paid off the wait staff to hold off their food until he popped the question...whether that particular gambit was going to pay off was yet to be seen.
"Well they are busy tonight, dear...you just have to give them time." His magic grasped the glass of water in front of him, quickly he started gulping it down .
"I'm going to go back there and give the head chef a piece of my mind, you're paying good money for this meal." She started to get up. At this point, Surefire realized what was going on and nearly spit out his water. Partly because his plan was going to be ruined, and partly because he just realized that this very expensive meal was going to be coming out of his wallet. He hadn't even bought a big enough wallet to hold that many bits.
"NO!" She looked at him confused, as did the rest of the eatery. "I-I mean...no. Don't do that...umm...those ponies work hard. I'm sure they don't want somepony yelling at them for not being up to her standards." Sadly for Surefire, he realized what he said too late. He just insulted the mare he was going to propose to...not good.
She sat down, obviously a little mad at the kitchen, and now him. After silently cursing Lady Luck and his brain for not being as fast as his mouth, he gave a nervous smile to his marefriend. So..now was as good a time as any he ventured...she wouldn't be any happier the rest of the night. He knew she could hold a grudge....
"Uh...sweetie?" She looked at him, icy blue eyes obviously trying to bore a hole deep into his skull. "I-I...have something I want to ask you." His dry mouth was starting to come back, and at the worst time. Quickly, quietly, he got out of his chair and down onto one knee. "I know...I know you can't be too happy with me right now, but...well..I..I love you Jay.."
She was staring at him, eyes wide, as were all the other patrons in the building. He knew there was an enormous weight on his shoulders, all that pressure. Taking a page from his gaming days, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"The truth is Jay...I can't promise you anything. I can't promise you the world, I can't promise you a house, I can't promise you a fancy chariot or a life well lived, I can't even promise you tomorrow..." He paused in order to look into the object of his affection's eyes. They were still in shock, but focused solely on his emerald orbs. "But what I can promise you.." His mouth was starting to get dry, terribly so. "...Is that I will love you with all of my being for as long as you'll let me..."
Then the most wonderful thing happened, luck not only was with Surefire that night, but it blessed him. Jay leaned down, the beginnings of tears in her eyes, and said the most amazing word in the world. One syllable, three letters, and glorious.
"Yes"
Then, they kissed. It was a kiss filled with hope for the future, a kiss filled with passion and tender love. It was a kiss that made the whole world around them dim in comparison.
It was their moment and no one could ever ruin it.