The Monster In The Closet

by Mr Anomalous

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Lyra, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 13376

Something finds it's way into Twilight's closet. Something quite frightening. But Lyra can help out!

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Everypony knows of Lyra's sort of strange obsession, but it never really was that big of a deal, just like nerds are obsessed with reading. But, one night, Lyra's dreams are fulfilled. At least the first part....

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There's something in Twilight's closet, and it is most certainly not a pony.

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Yes, I believe that there is some speck of originality in here! If not in the idea, then at least in the story and writing itself! Give it a chance!

Published 2013-02-22 06:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-17 22:48:26 UTC

Chapter One

Chapter One:

Twilight Sparkle slid between her sheets, welcoming the warmth of the soft blankets and pillows. It had been a long day, and she was about ready to pass out. Despite her fatigue, Twilight lay awake for some time.

She peered out through her window, and admired the night sky. Pitch black, blacker than King Sombra's heart, and yet, scattered about, was an infinite stretch of white specks of various sizes. Twilight, being Twilight, was able to name every single constellation, and knew the estimated amount of stars that were visible to the naked at this time of year, at this time of night.

When she became bored of the sky, which took a while, she turned her attention to her bedroom. Her drooping eyes passed the yellow curtains, the decorated wooden wall, and her bookshelf. It was used to it's fullest extent, filled with books. Very large ones. Twilight smiled with a small pride and continued. She found the other smaller, round window which was in the wall just before the staircase began. She followed the stairs down, and into the larger part of her room, which held yet more books.

After that, she found all of her potted plants, four of them, and admired their beauty. She did a good job taking care of them. Finally, her eyelids began to drag themselves down, creating darkness, which Twilight welcomed.

She grabbed her sky-patterned covers, tugged them over her shoulder, and nuzzled her face into the pillow. Dear Celestia she was tired. Before her eyes closed completely, though, her eyes fell upon the one object of her room that she failed to inspect. She didn't blame herself; after all, there wasn't anything really all that interesting about it, just her closet door.

Twilight, though very smart and academic, wasn't really all that concerned with fashion, much less so than her friend and fellow Element bearer, Rarity, therefore, her closet didn't contain many articles of clothing, just the dress that she had worn to the Gala, and maybe some other things that, even with all of her brains, Twilight couldn't even remember.

By this point, sleep was inescapable, but Twilight didn't wasn't searching for an escape, so she let the darkness, comfort, and and the warm bliss flow into her. Just before she drifted away, though, she thought that she saw something...move though the small space underneath the door that separated the door from the wooden floor.

Far to tired to care, Twilight finally slept. In hindsight, Twilight probably should have cared a little bit more.

"RAAH!"

The call was deafening, shaking the very Earth down to it's knees. It seemed as if even the ruined walls shook in the blast of voices that swept it's way though the air, reaching the ears of everything within several miles.

The following noise was even more deafening. It was a combination of heavy feet, the rumbling of vehicles, and more shouting. Then the gunfire began. There was no warning, no gradual build-up of action, it was just an explosion of cracks, booms, and snaps, quickly followed by the clinking of spent cases and the thuds of impact, whether it be flesh or otherwise.

Now the noises were joined by cries of pain as members of both sides fell to the hot lead, which tore through flesh.

Explosions sounded as artillery rained it's death upon the men, blasting them far into the air, tearing them apart like wet paper.

Blood was beginning to find it's way out of it's previous walls, and it flowed freely into the dirt ground.

Calls for help rang out everywhere.

He was part of the charging army. He wore all of the protective gear that he needed, and he survived the first charge: he was within the walls.

He wore a heavy ushanka, it's flaps pulled down over the sides of his gas mask. He was covered in black clothing and body armor, and carried several pounds of gear.

He raised his weapon, a 12-gauge, pump-action shotgun and advanced into the enemies's territory.

Soon enough, he found one, and the other man fell under the powerful blasts of the weapon, and more blood found it's way into the outside world, some dripping from nearby walls, and some pooling on the ground.

He moved on, alert as he could be, his obscured eyes searching for more foes to eradicate in the name of his freedom.  It was a while before he did. Several minutes of wandering the maze of sandstone walls, listening to the close explosions and gunfire.

He stopped and lowered a gun. Was he lost?

He was jerked back into action when a cry of "URA!," sounded behind him and he whirled around just in time to block a downward thrust of a bayonet with his own gun.

He and his enemy were locked in a one-on-one battle of strength, struggling against each other. Funny really. They didn't know each other, perhaps they could have been friends, had they met under different circumstances. But not now. Not today. The other man needed to die, and he was perfectly capable of making that happen.

Finally, he pushed forward with enough strength to knock the other man on his back.

He raised his weapon, intent on ending the other man's life, but, strangely enough, that would never happen. He was no longer in a sandstone maze of ruins, no longer about to end the life of a foe. It was dark, and when he attempted movement, but found that he couldn't do much of that, the space that he was in was far to constraining. He noticed a small, dim slit of light shining from the ground in front of him. He was behind a door. His eyes adjusted and he saw some clothes hanging from a rack above him, the ends of the cloth draped over his shoulders. He was in...a closet?

"Shit."

Chapter Two

Chapter Two:

Alec Coyle, Assault Class Soldier of the Liberum Order, dedicated to the Freedom of the New World and the rebuilding of the Old, was in a goddamn dark, cartoony-looking closet with a frilly dress draped over him.

He was pretty sure that he was just about to kill another member of the Dominandi Faction, and, well now he's in a goddamn dark, cartoony-looking closet with a frilly dress draped over him.

Was he dead? Did one of the other guys sneak up behind him and take him out just when he was about to shoot his buddy?

Alec felt alive, but he had never been dead before, so he wasn't exactly sure what happened afterwards.

Okay, well, let's pretend that I actually am inside of a goddamn dark, cartoony-looking closet with a frilly dress draped over me, now what? There's probably something outside, and, based on the articles of clothing in here, it's probably a happy, pink pony.

Almost, Alec, almost.

Alec slowly slid his bag off and set it down on the floor beneath him, while constantly checking for audible signs of whatever was sleeping outside, making sure that it was still asleep.

He quietly withdrew a little device. What was it? It was a tiny little camera. Hard to get ahold of those in the apocalypse, but the Liberum Order was a pretty rich and successful...tribe? Clan? Country? Whatever you wanted to call it, it was a successful one of those.

He grasped the little cord that connected the camera to the power source and viewing screen between his thumb and forefinger and slid it under the door, careful not to drag it along the floor, and make noises.

It was hard to see at first, but the software did its magic and night-vision switched on. Well. He was right about the pony part. Since everything was green, he couldn't tell what color it was, but the face and build that it had definitely brought the word "pony" to mind.

Alec had to suppress laughter. What the hell? Where was he?

Shaking his head and withdrawing the camera, Alec put his bag back on and pondered his choices. He couldn't sneak out without waking the creature up.....gunshots would more than likely wake up anyone else in the building, as well as any neighbors (besides, it looked pretty harmless)....

Finally Alec decided: he was going to sneak out of the closet, capture the pony thing, and...well, never mind. Even more possibilities spread out after that.

Let's see....hold it captive? Knock it out? Yeah, that one is probably the best idea.

Alec, praying that the small equine didn't have very good hearing, opened the door slowly, without any creaking. Heh, it's purple. Damn.

He tiptoed towards the bed, and was about to pounce when, Christ Almighty there's a massive lizard in a basket next to the bed.

Okay. It has teeth. Bad. It also had smoke drifting from its nostrils. Also bad. Alec decided that he could probably smother it unconscious.

He crept over to the lizard and,  after a few bumps and muffled cries, it could talk, by the way, why not, the creature was asleep, this time without the risk of waking up.

Okay.  Now pony. Should be a bit easier.

Alec crept ever so slowly towards the slumbering creature, it was adorable, and brought his hand forward, positioning it right above the little thing's mouth. Alec wasn't sure if it could scream, but, based on what he had seen so far, it probably could.

Alec's other hand slid under the thing's head, very, very slowly, and...Alec, survivor of the apocalypse strikes!

Big mistake.

One hand brought the pony's head forward and the other hand clamped itself over it's short muzzle in an attempt to muffle any cries. Well, what Alec hadn't seen, with either the camera or his eyes was the fact that the little pony was, in fact, a unicorn.

Alec was focused on depriving the little thing from it's oxygen, so much so that it took him a while to notice a gradual build-up of light around the unicorn's horn.

There was a bolt of magic, annnnd, it missed. Alec breathed a sigh of relief. Right next to his head in the wall was a smoldering scorch mark.

Rather then let go, however, Alec pressed onward.

Well, not a great idea either.

Alec felt something slam his gut, and he was thrown into a bookcase, right below the mark of the unicorn's rage.

Alec, though dazed, could see clearly enough that he had been knocked back by the thing's wings. It had wings too.

I think that running for my life is a fantastic idea right now.

Alec just barley managed to dodge another bolt of angry unicorn, or pegasus, or whatever, and he sped down the stairs.

"Help! Help! Somepony help me!"

Well, it spoke English, and it used "pony" instead of "body." Alec would have been amused, had it not been for his imminent absolute annihilation.

He sped down the stairs, almost tripping himself up, as fast as he could with all of his gear, and into the downstairs.

Library.

No time for that, though.

Alec sped out the door.

Of course, a tree, why not?

He looked around for somewhere to hide and found one: behind the sign. Alec ducked for it and hid himself.

He expected the pony police or something to show up at any moment. Alec contemplated using his weapon, but, well when an alien creature tries to smother you in your sleep, you probably would attack it too.

He could probably use one to scare any of them that came to close though...

Okay, so far, no pony police, but...what...?

There was a blinding streak of cyan blue that soared its way through a window, probably led to the purple pony's room.

"Twilight! Twilight! Are you okay? What is it?"

Alec could just barley make out their words.

Twilight? So what is she, a vampire pony?

Alec chucked at his little joke, old movie; he hated it, and listened some more.

"Rainbow dash. Oh thank Celestia you're here...."

Celestia? Is that their God or something?

"Twi', what is it?"

"Rainbow, something just attacked me!"

"Attacked you? What? What was it?"

"I don't know! It was some sort of...monster or something!"

"Woah...did...did it hurt you?"

"Um...no...it...well, I woke up and it's...what was it? It was like a Dragon's claw, but smaller, and he didn't have any talons at the end. Well, whatever it was, I woke up to it clamped around my muzzle. I...I think he was trying to suffocate me. I fought him off though...um...hehe, he looked pretty scared..."

"Yeah, go Twilight! Where'd it go? I'll find 'im and make sure he doesn't hurt anypony else!"

"Rainbow, I think that we should just call the guards..."

"There's no time! What if he's out there, right now, smothering a little filly?"

Oh come one, I'm not like that....

"I...I guess you're right Dash. He went downstairs, but be careful!"

"Gotcha'!"

Alec heard more soaring noises and ducked behind the sign again.

"Okay mister, where are ya?"

I'm sure as hell not telling you...

He heard clinking noises as the pony looked around; he had left the door open, so the noises were audible.

"The door is open...pony feathers, he probably got outside!"

Ponyfeathers? Hehehe...

Alec ducked even further down the back of the sign, (that pony was fast! It could probably slaughter him!) and just in time too. The cyan pegasus drifted out the door, looking around.

Alec shrunk ever further. He heard the winged creature mumble to herself and fly away.

Whew...

Alec was to confident in his pony-averting capabilities and stood up far too quickly.

Alec heard an intimidated "Woaoh..."

And turned around just in time to see...cyan. That was it. All he saw was the color cyan, completely filled his vision, and he was knocked over to the ground.

Alec scrambled to get back up, but was thrown to the ground yet again. This time the pony was on top of him. Holy crap she was strong.

"Christ..."

The pegasus had him pinned down quite effectively.

"I don't know what your game is mister, but all I know is that you're not going to be hurting any more ponies!"

Sorry about this satanically strong rainbow pony, but, yes, I am going to be hurting another one.

Alec did the next thing that came to his mind: jumped at her.

He thrust his face forward, shouting rah!

The pony did exactly what he was hoping for. She started.

Alec used that small moment to surprise the pegasus again and he threw her off of him. Alec used his hand to quickly snatch up his pistol from his holster and he turned around just in time to catch the aggressive creature.

Alec quickly placed his aim, made sure that it was not a lethal shot, and pulled the trigger.

Crack!

The bullet tore through one of the pony's wings, rendering her unable to fly until healing.

The pony screamed in pain and Alec ran faster then he could have possibly thought he could, towards the forest that lay past what seemed to be a park. He reached it without being tackled or punched again.

Chapter Three

Chapter Three:

Twilight sat there, still, listening for sounds of violence. Spike was fine, just unconscious.

She watched from the window as Rainbow Dash left the building, and began to scrutinize the area.

Twilight's eyes widened when she saw it: the monster. He was hiding from Rainbow Dash behind the library's sign, but...he didn't look like he was going to attack her...

But, as Twilight watched, he stood up too soon, and Rainbow Dash whirled around. She had a slightly intimidated look on her face for a moment, but it was quickly replaced with a determined expression.

She dashed over to the monster and swung her hoof directly into his face, knocking him backwards a good five or so feet.

Twilight's hoof covered her mouth as she gasped. Twilight had to move to a different window, one off to the side instead of the front, to continue watching.

Rainbow Dash pinned the creature down, and began shouting at him. The monster just lay there, taking the brunt of the shouting for a moment, but then he...scared Rainbow. Nice move.

Twilight watched as the monster lunged forward, almost coming into contact with Rainbow Dash, and the monster took advantage of Rainbow's disorientation to fling her off of him.

The monster turned around as if he were to run again, but...instead of dashing again, he turned around to face Rainbow, and his claw went to his side as he grasped for something.

Then, as Twilight watched, the monster, in one graceful movement, went from a fighting position down to one knee, where he pointed what could only be a weapon at Rainbow.

Twilight nor Rainbow had any time to react, and there was a loud crack. Twilight saw a flash of light Rainbow crashed to the ground.

"Rainbow!"

The monster took off, and Twilight rushed outside.

There was a hole through the stalk of Rainbow Dash's left wing, and it was bleeding. Despite her friend's pain, Twilight was intrigued by the monster's weapon. Had it launched something , like an arrow, but smaller and much faster?

Several lights were on, no doubt disturbed by the noises, and a couple rushed to Twilight's aid.

"Somepony get her to the hospital...what was that...is she okay...?"

Twilight looked around for evidence. Her eyes scrutinized the ground, looking for anything that the monster might have dropped in his haste to escape Rainbow.

There.

Twilight's eyes caught a small, odd shaped piece of brass in the gravel further away. She snatched it and began to follow the ponies who were carrying Rainbow Dash to the hospital. What was going on?

Okay, in hindsight, maybe I should've just tried to sneak out...

Alec finally came to a rest. He was about a hundred feet into the forest, and was pretty sure that he was safe.

He felt bad, he really did, but he wouldn't have been able to escape otherwise. Then again...he could've just surrendered himself right then and there...

"Damn it!"

Oh well, when the ponies come after me, which they probably will, I'll surrender myself. And apologize to Rainbow....

Lyra and Bon-Bon had been awoken by a loud crack coming from outside, and they were forced to un-tangle themselves from each other's limbs and get out of bed.

"Bon, what was that?"

"I don't know Lyra...it came from outside. Let's go check it out."

Lyra agreed and the two mares hurried down the stairs and out the front door. What they saw in front of them was a pretty big mess. Rainbow dash, that really fast weather pony, was writhing on the ground in pain. She was bleeding.

Lyra looked around, just in time to see....what that...?

A somewhat evil smile plastered itself across Lyra's face. If that's what she thought it was, then all of her dreams just came true.

"Oh my goodness Lyra, Rainbow's been hurt!"

Lyra jerked herself back to reality, the human could wait, and helped Rainbow Dash up, and they carried her to the hospital, where there she was accepted into the emergency room.

"Thanks for your help you two: I really appreciate it," Twilight thanked her neighbors.

"Really, honey, it's no problem," Bon-Bon assured Twilight.

"Nope, no problem at all," Lyra assured. She was eager to get back to 'bed.'

The two left and Twilight began to wait patiently. She had been smart enough to grab Spike before she came to the hospital, and he just now was waking up.

"Uuugh...Twilight..."

Suddenly, Spike sat up.

"Twilight! There's an alien in the...wait...wha-...are we in the...hosital?"

"Yes, we are, and, yes, I know there's a monster around: it hurt Rainbow Dash."

"Ah! Is she alright!?"

"Yes, I think that she'll be okay, he just got her wing."

"Hehe...I don't think that Rainbow Dash will agree with you."

Twilight giggled, "No, probably not..."

Finally, after an hour or so, Rainbow Dash exited the room, with the assistance of a Nurse.

Her wing was bandaged up, and Twilight saw that a spot of blood was beginning to leak it's way through.

"Will she be alright?" Twilight and Spike asked in unison.

The Nurse answered, "Yes, she and her wing will be fine, just no flying for a few weeks."

Rainbow Dash mumbled something about murder and then the Nurse said, "Oh, Miss Sparkle, the Doctor would like to see you."

"Me?" Twilight asked, gesturing to herself.

"Yes, you. Come on."

"Spike, I want you to take Rainbow to the library and put her in my bed. Wait for me there."

Spike nodded and began to lead the fuming pegasus outside.

Twilight faced the Nurse again.

"Lead the way."

The Nurse gave a single nod and lead Twilight into the other room.

When the doctor saw them he said, "Ah, your majesty," and bowed.

Oh yes. She's a Princess now.

The Nurse's eyes widened and she hurriedly bowed herself.

Twilight blushed and said, "You may rise."

The Doctor stood up straight and motioned Twilight forward.

"What was it that you needed, Doctor?"

"Miss Sparkle, this is what we found embedded in Miss Dash's wing."

The Doctor grasped something from the operating table with a pair of tweezers and lifted it up for Twilight to see better.

It was a flattened piece of metal. Twilight scratched her head.

"Do you mind if I use it as a...sample?" Twilight asked.

The Doctor chuckled and said, "But of course, that's the entire reason I called you back here in the first place: you're a smart pony, maybe you could figure what exactly it was. Until then, good night your highness."

Another bow, another blush, and a Ziploc bag away, Twilight was exited the hospital, and traveled back to the Library.

Sleep was not going to come again tonight.

Chapter Four

Chapter Four:

Alec unpacked his gear and did any inventory, just to make sure that he hadn't lost anything in his spontaneous traveling to an alternate universe.

Okay, ushanka? Check. .22 Pistol? Check. .45 Pistol? Check.

Alec was glad that he grabbed his .22 instead of the .45; he really didn't want to hurt that poor thing to much, even though  it had probably wanted to practically kill him.

Survival knife... Swiss Army knife...basic cooking kit...MRE's.... Remington .12 Gauge...ammo for all weapons, quite a bit....Gas Mask...flashlight...etc, etc.

Nope, nothing was missing, what a relief.

Alec packed all of his stuff back up and decided to look around a bit. The forest seemed normal to him, despite the fact that it was cartoony.

He explored around, though was sure not to go too far, and something caught his interest.

It was a sparkle. I little wink in the darkness.

Alec, his interest piqued, went after it. About thirty seconds of walking and there was a small clearing in the twisted trees, and , bada-boom, the largest cave entrance that Alec had ever set eyes on.

"Woah..."

But...caves don't explain random shiny things in the forest...unless...yap, there it is again.

It was coming from inside the cave.

Alec shrugged and went on inside. He found the source of the sheen and leaned over to pick it up.

It was...a jewel? It was pretty nicely cut too.

Sweet.

Alec pocketed it and, well, Apocalypse Looter mode was on, and he decided to explore deeper into the cave. All he had to do was round the corner, and he dropped his gun, eyes wide open, the only thing between his jaw and the floor being the gas mask.

Giant mountains of gold, silver, cut jewels, diamonds, and many other treasures hulked in front of him, filling the cavern to the top in some places. Jackpot? Jackpot.

Alec walked forward and began to paw through the treasures. Suddenly, he felt a...breeze? It was warm, and it didn't come from outside. Alec was to pre-occupied with the fact that he was now a billionaire, so he shrugged it off and continued.

There it was again. Whew, it stunk.

Alec finally turned around, and, well, there was a dragon.

"What are you doing with my horde?" it asked in a voice that sounded like rumbling boulders.

Shit. Wait...idea....

"Oh, I'm incredibly sorry...hey, you're not the last member of your kind are you?"

He dragon, eyes still level with Alec snorted, "Of course not, my kind spreads all over Equin!"

"Okay, are you the last male in your family?"

"No. Stop asked foolish questions small creature and meet your doom!"

"Forgive and forget?"

"Never."

"Well..."

Alec was fast, very fast, and whipped out his weapon.

The dragon roared and took a swing at the small human, but Alec hugged the ground, and managed to avoid getting sliced in half.

Alec stood up and raised his weapon, and began to wait.

He did not have to wait long.

The giant reptile darted forward with his mouth, and-

Crack!

There was an Earth-shaking thud as the Dragon fell to the ground, blood seeping from it's mouth.

"Sweet, now I get to add "Dragon Slayer," to my list of accomplishments. And, "instant Billionaire."

Lyra waited for Bon-Bon to fall asleep again. Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long; she feel asleep quickly.

The mint-green mare waited until her partner's breathing was steady, and she slowly snuck out of bed.

She snuck out of the room, down the stairs, through the kitchen, and into the basement.

Lyra opened her secret little cupboard and smiled wickedly.

After stuffing his pockets and bag with as much gold and jewels as he could carry, Alec set the Dragon's corpse on fire, and bailed out. He was going to come back in the next few days to use the bones to make tools and, maybe, make his home there.

But, if he was going to live there, he needed to explore around a bit.

Now, you may be wondering, wasn't he going to surrender when the ponies came after him?

Alec had decided that, instead of surrendering, he would hide from them. He wouldn't declare war on them, nor would he surrender. Maybe he could live there for a while, see more things. He wasn't exactly eager to return the the Land of The Bloodshed, so he decided that he was going to stay in this place for a little while more, perhaps do some pony trolling.

Alec began making markers to place around the area, and began taking mental notes.

Eventually, he stumbled upon...something. He wasn't exactly sure what, but it was...another light.

Alec thought back to his recent instant-richness and pulled his shotgun out, ready to double his earning.

As he got closer, though, he saw that is wasn't a cave...it was...a house?

Yep, a house inside of a tree, kind of like the one that he had appeared in. Only, this one was smaller, and had what looked life old African masks scattered around the place. Alec crept closer, found a window and peered inside.

It was the ultimate witch-doctor's hut. Potions, vials, masks, old books, jars of powders and pieces of small animals, all of this, and, of course, the cauldron, complete with bubbling green goo. Alec couldn't locate the inhabitant though.

Suddenly, the door opened and a cloaked figure crept inside. Alec lowered his head a bit more. The hood was removed and, well, it was a zebra.

Huh. Interesting.

He watched it closely, what had she been doing out so late? Do zebras not sleep here? No...there's a bed.

Alec shrugged: maybe it was a night-owl.

Alec watched as a scene a movie unfolded. The zebra removed it's cloak and began to mix something in it's cauldron.

A Potion? Poison? Elixr?

Alec watched, and, noticed that...some of the ingredients that she had...they were edible.

Crickets and grasshoppers, along with a variety of insects, as well as some dried fruits and vegatables.

Looting time? Looting time.

By the way, no, he hadn't learned his lesson by now.

Alec threw hurled the butt of his weapon through the glass, shattering it he climbed through. He found the zebra, who was now backed up against the wall, a frightened yet curious look on it's face.

Alec didn't say anything; he just began grabbing jars of ingredients and other things that he might find useful.

The zebra never said anything, not a peep. It shrank away when Alec approached it, but that was all. Alec shrugged, raised the butt of his weapon and it was out.

Alec stole the sheets, blankets and pillows from it's bed, and took everything that he could. When you're the veteran of three wars, the survivor of an apocalypse, and a soldier in a current war, you learn to take all that you can.

Alec tied the zebra's hooves behind one another and left her there: he was sure that someone would notice that she wasn't around and come rescue her.

Alec left the hut and began to trek around to an area near his cave where he could wait for the fire to claim the rest of the Dragon, preferably a tree, when he heard a crack in the underbrush. Alec whirled around, bag of edibles forgotten, and raised his weapon. Nothing. Maybe it was his imagination.

Alec shrugged yet again continued on his way, towards the pillar of smoke in the sky. He was going to have to hide himself; the smoke would probably attract the pony police or something in his direction.

He found a sizable tree near the smoking entrance (burning Dragon smelled surprisingly good) and began to use what he had to build a little shelter. He lashed several branches together, cut others, layered some big leaves, moved some branches around, and he had a pretty decent little hidey-hole.

Alec pulled out his newly claimed beddings and slept.

He was awoken by another snap. Okay, no imagination. Alec pulled out his weapon (he seemed to be doing that a lot lately, huh?) and climbed down from his tree. His eyes, obscured by the lenses of his mask, searched the dark, twisted trees and the black bushes, attempting to locate his stalker. Was it another pony? Or perhaps a creature of the forest, a predator?

Alec could not see a single thing. Finally, Alec gave up again, but just as he was about to turn away, he caught something. They were three green dots...kind of like some high-tech night vision goggles.

Alec squinted, trying to see better, when there was an explosive crack! Followed quickly by a fwoosh!

Alec knew what that was: a net. He wasn't sure where the pony that was after him got a mortar-launched net, but he wasn't thinking about that right now.

Alec just barley dodged out of the way in time, and only his foot was entangled, but he was still slowed down. He fought, and was eventually freed. He turned around to see...well it was shaped like a pony, but it was wearing some sort of stealth suit. Okay, maybe these ponies were more technologically advanced then he had originally thought...

Alec tried to run again, but there was a sort of whizzing sound. Alec looked next to him to see a dart embedded into the tree.

Woah God.

He began to sprint, being sure to mentally mark his progress, and managed to escape his pursuer.

"Curses! He got away!" She smiled underneath her mask, "but not for long..."

Chapter Five

Chapter Five:

Twilight worked far into the wee hours of the morning, trying hard to figure out how the monster's weapon had worked.

The small brass case that had been located was hollow, but it must have contained something at one point. It smelt like sulfur and smoke.

The object retrieved from Rainbow Dash's wing was small, but it was imperfect; it had been crushed. Even pony not as smart as Twilight would probably figure out that the flying object had once been pointed to cause damage, and that the brass case was what held it.

The case probably held some sort of magic, chemical or substance that had been ignited when the monster pulled the little switch on the bottom side of the weapon.

Thinking back, Twilight remembered that she had seen part of the weapon slide back and forth very quickly, lightning fast, at the same time that the small explosion occurred. Yes, she was sure of it. Activating the trigger somehow launched a projectile at high speeds - very, very high speeds - directly in front of the tube in which it was launched out of.

Twilight couldn't help but congratulate herself on figuring out so quickly. In only five hours! Good job!

Well, psycho ponies with technology-that-is-not-supposed-to-be-in-their-time roam the forest. Gotta keep my guard up....

It was finally beginning to be morning and Alec, just getting finished with being chased by a very scary pony, was wide awake. It seemed as if he overestimated the time that it would take for the Dragon's corpse to burn, because the smoke cloud was dispersing.

Maybe he had a fire-bladder or something that caught fire and sped it up?

Alec trotted over to the cave and went inside. He had been correct; the corpse was pretty much just bone, and it smelt pretty good. Maybe he should've cut some meat off of it...nah, he didn't to risk being killed by some poison or something.

Applebloom was just on her way back from a Crusader's meeting, wondering about all of this items going missing in Ponyville recently, when she realized something. Or rather, that something was missing. It was Wednesday. And there was no Zecora. Zecora always came to town, every single Wednesday, without fail. She had failed, and it was past six 'o clock.

Remembering the monster who had attacked Twilight and Rainbow Dash, then ran into the forest, she gasped. How could she have completely forgotten?

She took off as she could to the closest, oldest person that she knew: Twilight. The Library was just down the street.

Applebloom hurried as fast as her freaking adorable little legs would carry her, and she began to knock rapidly.

Spike answered the door and yelled in surprise when the frightened little filly burst past him.

"Where is she? Where is she? Where's Twi'?" She asked, frantically looking around.

"Uh, she's downstairs in her lab, what's the hurry?"

Too late, Applebloom was gone.

"Twi'! Twi'! Twilight!" She called.

The Alicorn looked up from her work, a confused and concerned look on her face.

"Applebloom? What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

Applebloom reached Twilight and began speaking rapidly.

"Zecora! She usually comes into town every Wednesday! An' she didn't today! The monster! He's in the Everfree forest too!"

Twilight's eyes widened as she gasped. Of course! How could she have forgotten the ill-fated Zebra.

"Okay Applebloom, listen to me. I want you to hurry and get Applejack, and tell her to get the rest of the Elements, then meet me near the edge of the forest. You stay home."

Applebloom nodded. She was a little disappointed that she couldn't come, but she was in too much of a hurry to care.

Ten minutes later, everyone but Rainbow Dash was at the edge of the forest. Sad, considering she probably wanted revenge.

"Okay, is everypony here? Good. Let's go!"

They all hurried into the forest, quickly, but quietly and cautious. Fluttershy tried to ditch them and return home twice.

  Rainbow Dash wasn't the only one who wanted revenge, however. Alec had recently thought of a better use for Zecora then just leaving here there: bait of course!

The Zebra hung upside down, bound and gagged, a frantic look in her eyes. Her large earrings clinked around as she moved her head back and forth, trying to loose the gag.

Alec leaned with his elbow in her flank, rather painfully to Zecora, and waited. He knew that it probably would't be long, and he was correct.

All of his traps had been set and he was ready. He listened, and he heard them.

"Cheerio Zebra: I've got a mean pony to capture," he leaned over and whispered into the quivering Zebra's ear.

He launched himself into the bushes and waited.

Soon, he heard the clopping of several pairs of hoofs. Perfect.

From his hiding spot, Alec could see the entrance to the clearing where the Zebra's tree was located, the tree itself, and moist everything.

The walking became closer and closer.

The Zebra's eyes widened and she began to mumble loudly, shaking her head violently, trying to warn her would-be rescuers off.

"There she is!" gasping, "She's hurt! Look at that bruise! That monster is going to pay..."

Twilight entered to clearing and Alec grinned quite evilly. Before any of the other ponies could enter, he flipped open the clear lid on the detonator and hit it.

There was a large boom on a nearby hill, and boulders began to rumble down, to block the other pony's path. It worked. Before any of the others could reach either Twilight or the Zebra, there was a massive pile of boulders and a couple dropped tress in the way. If everything worked perfectly, there would also be a now-exposed pit in front if the fallen rock-slide, preventing from any of them from trying to climb it.

Alec had to act fast for this to work.

He burst from the bushes with a vine lasso with a shout of, "Fus Ro Dah!" (Another pre-war item, too lazy to explain it)

And sent the loop flying directly in front of the pony who was no flying away. It caught her by the neck and Alec tightened down, pulling as hard as he could. Before the pony could use any magic, Alec used the pile of boulder and a strong push of his legs to launch himself far enough into the air, and he landed on top of the pony.

She was strong, but she was obviously not a fighter. (Alec would have never tried this on that Rainbow pony...shiver)

"Girls! Run! Go! GO!" She shouted. How honorable.

Several exclamations of "no," found their way over the pile, but Twilight couldn't respond: now she was gagged.

Alec knew that the ponies would find their way into the clearing soon, so, holding a bound purple pony, he dashed into the forest.

Alec noticed that she was building up her magic again, and he opened up his canteen and doused the aura. He wasn't sure that that would work, but apparently it does.

He had to hold the struggling pony down, repeatedly douse her aura, and, now, prevent Zecora from talking once the other ponies had rescued her.

Right after that thought went through his head, the orange one found a way around the pile and motioned the others.

One-by-one, they all found their ways into the clearing, and they went over to Zecora.

Alec looked around and made sure that all of the rocks and thick leaves were in place, and pulled out his .45.

If you're wondering what all of these rocks and thick leaves do...well, actually, it's quite ingenious. Alec, having gone through all that he has, had learned some interesting things, including how to angle surroundings to make a gunshot sound as if it were coming from somewhere else. Like I said, ingenious.

He aimed (No, Zecora will live, don't worry) and fired. Not at the Zebra, but at the rope. It snapped and the Zebra fell head-first on the rock that Alec had placed. Success. She was unconscious.

"Zecora! Where did that come from? Is she okay? Where's Twilight? It came from over there!"

Alec smiled. He had them duped. The 'monster' hoisted his struggling prize and headed back to his cave.

Chapter Six

Chapter Six:

Twilight was of course angry, and frightened, but really, above all, she was embarrassed. How had she,  Princess of Equestria, an Alicorn, with powerful magic and wings, with a scholarly mind such as hers, been captured by this Monster?

She was bound up, her energy spent so she was unable to any attempt more magic, and was being carried around on the shoulder of this other worldly creature.

She was carried for about a half and hour or so before she felt her captor slow it's pace. She noticed that it got a bit dark. She looked up and noticed that she was being carried into a large cave. Eyes widening in recognition, she remembered that this was the very same cave belonging to the Dragon that she and Owloicious had rescued Spike from a month or so earlier.

Her eyes widened even further. Was this monster a servant of this Dragon? Would she be sacrificed to the large reptilian creature? She began to try and struggle more, but it was useless.

Twilight closed her eyes and accepted her fate, just glad that this monster hadn't captured any of her friends.

Wait, maybe she would be rescued by Princess Celest....wait. What? She had forgotten to write to the Princess!

She, Twilight Sparkle, had forgotten to write to the Princess! Celestia had no idea about the appearing of the monster, its injuring of Rainbow, none of it!

She silently cursed her incompetence. Now she would die. Maybe she deserved it.

But then she regained her composure. She calmed down. She had no idea what this Monster planned on doing to her, but it wasn't surely death. Perhaps all it planned was to hold her hostage. Which would be kind of useless, considering that he was no longer in his own world...

Suddenly, she felt herself being hoisted a bit, then she dropped, rather painfully, onto the stone floor.

After her eyes cleared up from the developing tears, all Twilight that was was amazed.

Not only was the cave filled with all of the gold that she Remembered but there was also many objects from Ponyville. Clothing, food, beddings, tools....it was all over. Some of it was organized, but most of it was just hurled onto a growing pile.

Was its species similar to that of a pack rat? Or maybe it was just its personality?

"Ah, some sweet home."

What? Twhat? Twhat? Equestrian?

"Waddaya think Twilight? Nice place I got here?"

He knew her name!?

"'Course, ya can't answer me with that over your muzzle, now can ya?"

Alec approached her and pulled out a knife, a rather large, shiny one, and approached Twilight.

Suddenly, it, well, a he, based off of his deep voice, menaced over her.

His voice seeped out of his mask (at least she hoped that it was a mask).

"If you try to scream for help, I'll be having Purple Pony for dinner. I've had horse before, and it 'ain't that bad."

Twilight only sweated a bit and nodded.

Alec cut the cloth, and, surprisingly, sat cross-legged in front of her.

"Seeing as you're the town Librarian, you probably are some sort of Scholar as well. Any questions?"

Twilight was, quite frankly, surprised as Tartarus. Had this alien dragged her away from her friends, just so that she could ask him some questions? Soon, of course, her surprise had been replaced completely with excitement. She had already had a mental list of questions prepared for something like this, and a few new ones. She wished that she had her notes, but she was still ready to go.

"Wow...this....this is amazing!" She exclaimed, "Okay, number one: how in the hoof do you know my language?"

She heard the monster chuckle, "Well, back where I come from, it's my language. So...I don't know. Maybe chances fell that our two species' developed the exact same language over the years. Quite a small chance, but, apparently, it's quite possible."

That made sense, "Also, the way you sound. You sound like your from someplace called "Trottingham,"  here. Your accent, I guess. Know where that come from?"

(Muahaha! Yes, I made him BRITISH!)

Trottingham? Trottingham!?

As Twilight watched, the monster burst out laughing in front of her. Her brow furrowed.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh...oh...don't worry, it's nothing. Uh, yeah, normally I'd say that I'm from a specific country, but there's not any more countries where I come from anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, back on my wonderfully peaceful planet, where there are rainbows every day and butterflies and flowers..."

Heaviest sarcasm that Twilight had ever heard.

"...it's pretty much the end of the world. Bombs, radiations, wars, mutants, cannibals....it's kind of like the 'Nuclear-zombie-desert-war Apocalypse'"

"Wow. That sounds....terrible."

"Well, for most people it is, but I'm part of a new group that arose, and we are super successful. We have a lot of money, food, land, and members. I am actually very well off. We've managed to even restore electrical power to our Headquarters. We have oil too. But, of course, all of this makes us have a lot of enemies."

"Why? Are you keeping it all for yourself?"

"On the contrary, my little pony. My group actually believes in peace, freedom, tolerance, and all of that good stuff. But some people just want it all for themselves. The end of the world kind of tends to bring out the worst in people."

"Oh...then...then why did you hurt Zecora like that? And Rainbow Dash? And me? Why am I even here?"

"Well...you know what? I am actually having tons of fun. This is awesome. I love it here. Of course, I don't like hurting ponies. That Rainbow One...I think I probably would've been dead. And Zecora, if that's the Zebra, she'll be fine. Just some bumps."

Twilight was amazed.

"So...you don't really mean that much harm to us do you?"

"Nope not at all, just think of me as the prankster that lives in the forest. Though...wars and the Apocalypse have toughened me up a bit, so I guess my pranks might go a bit...too far for you."

"Why did you ponynap me!?"

Ponynap. Hehe.

"Mostly for revenge. You gave me a pretty nasty bump on the head the night I first came here."

"Well that's because-!"

Twilight was cut off by a wave of the monster's hand and a hissing Shhh...

"What?"

"Sh. Listen. Do you here that?"

Twilight lifted up her ear and listened too.

There it was.

"Sounds like...sounds like...gunfire?" the monster mumbled.

"Gunfire? What's tha-"

As she turned to the creature, she was greeted by the butt of his weapon, then darkness.

Alec tied the cloth over the Pony's muzzle and hurried out of his cave. Yes. That was definitely gunfire. Fully automatic. And it was coming from Ponyville.

He hurried and soon he found his way to the edge of the forest and pulled out his tiny pair of binoculars.

He looked through them and saw...another human!

He was wearing a gas mask as well, though his wasn't as epic as Alec's whose eyes glowed green.

Wait...he knew this person. Shit, he didn't kill any ponies, did he?

Alec pulled his mask off and cupped his hands over his mouth and called as loud as he could.

"ROBBY! ROBBY! OVER HERE!"

He took up his binoculars and saw Bob turn. He then began to run as fast as he could towards Alec. He reached him soon and immediately crouched down.

"Alec? What the hell?"

"Robby, shut up for a sec, did you kill any of the ponies?"

"Ponies? Is that what they're called?"

"Just answer the bloody question!" Alec hissed.

"Oh, uh, no, I didn't kill any of them. I only shot one's hat off."

"Were you trying to kill them?"

"Uh, yeah, they started attacking me! I was eating dinner back at HQ, worrying about you, when BAM. I was in the middle of this shitty town. Then that orange one charged me!"

"Well...sorry 'bout that, I might've gave our race a bad reputation."

"Thanks a lot, Al."

They sat there for a moment. Then, "You have any goddamn idea what the hell is going on?"

"Nope. Not at all. Let me take ya to my cave, then I'll brief you on what's been going on lately."

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven:

Alec and Bob were now the only two humans in Equestria. How? No one's got any freaking idea. Alec has theorized that more members of the human race will start crossing over (against their will) soon. He wasn't sure if they would all appear in Ponyville, or if they would all be part of the Liberum Order, but he was pretty sure.

He explained a lot about the land, its inhabitants (or at least all he knew about it) all the way to the cave.

When they got there, Bob whistled at the Alec's impressive stash.

"Is that...a Dragon skeleton?"

"Yup, killed 'im myself."

"Rad."

"Yup."

Then Bob heard something. It sounded like muffled voice.

"Hey, Alec, ya hear that?"

Alec cocked his head, heard it too, and then lit up as he remembered his latest loot.

"Ah, yes, forgot to tell ya, she's over there: I kidnapped the local librarian."

Bob frowned in curiosity under his mask and turned around.

"Alec. I would like to take this moment right now to tell you that that little horse is the most adorable looking thing I have ever seen."

"Iknowri'?

Twilight, still not used to compliments, especially from an alien race, blushed.

Then she did a little remembering of herself: Alec seemed to have forgotten the fact that she had magic. Embarrassingly, she had herself.

"Uh...Alec? Her horn is lighting-"

"Shit!"

Alec charged Twilight in a fashion that seemed rather unnecessary to Robby and....well...jumped through the air and landed his foot on her face.

"Alec? Harsh much?"

Alec glared at Bob.

"No. Not harsh at all. I think I under-did it a bit: she's still awake...aw hell, I broke her nose."

Rob looked and saw that yes indeed, the poor pony's nose was bleeding profusely. Then he noticed something that, amazingly, neither him nor Alec had noticed until now.

"Alec....is that...is that a crown? A tiara?"

Alec paused and looked at the pony's forehead.

"Well....this is going to be one big piece of piss."

Twilight was unable to move. She was bound, gagged, and the two humans had tied a pouch of water around her horn so that she couldn't ignite her magic. And she was in quite a bit of pain, though she had to admit that the human had acted wisely.

"Hey, purple pony, awaken thyself."

There was a splash of cold water.

Yap, she was awake.

Coughing, Twilight painfully sat up.

The new human, who had a mask similar to the first one's reached over and cut her gag.

Alec looked over and said, "Same rules as last time: scream, and I eat you."

Twilight's jaw ground in frustration.

"Okay, well, I never really got to introduce myself, 'cuz, well, Robby here magically appeared in Ponyville."

The other human, Robby, gave her a two-fingered salute.

"My name is Alec. And...are you a bloody Queen?"

"I'm a Princess."

"Yeah, well, you're still royalty, yeah?"

"Yes."

"Bob, this just got a lot more fun."

"Yes. Yes it did."

Twilight couldn't believe that these humans thought that kidnapping and harming a powerful Alicorn Princess as "fun."

"Princess Celestia is going to banish you so far away when she finds us."

"See, well, she's not going to find us. And who the hell is Princess-freaking-Celestia?"

"The almighty ruler of Equestria who raises the sun each morning."

"Huh. Interesting. Well, guess what Twi'? For more fun on our part, we have just murdered you."

Alec reached over and plucked a feather from her wing.

"Ow!"

Robby then reached over and cut her with his knife.

"Ow!"

Alec held the feather, and let Twilight's blood drip all over it.

"Nighty-night Princess."

The bottom of a boot later, she was unconscious.

"So how much ammo didja bring Robby?"

Bob smirked evilly and said, "My pack is filled with nothing but."

A similar smirk from Alec, then, "Perfect...Is it getting dark out yet?"

Bob leaned over and said, "Uh...yeah."

"Grab your gun: we're going looting. Only don't kill any ponies! The guns are just for scared the living-daylights out of them."

"Fiiine.."

Applejack was pretty frightened. Heck, she saw the monster and decided to try and catch him, but he turned around and started shooting at her! She had almost gotten hit lots of times, but what she was really angry about was her hat. There was a giant bucking hole in it now!

Still grumbling, she made it home and told her family about her recent experience. She was going to need a new hat too...

Bon-Bon and Lyra said grace, and then attacked their dinner. They were both sitting at the table, eating in comfortable silence, Lyra plotting her next "Capture-the-Human" attack when she heard something. Voices...?"

It was dark enough to raid now, and Bob and Alec were positioned outside of a Pony's home, next to the library.

"Okay...one...two...THREE!"

Bob raised his weapon, an old but still heavy M-60 machine gun, and smashed down the door. Alec smashed a window and climbed in.

Alec's eyes widened in recognition. That pony...it was the psycho one!

"Alright ponies, hooves in the air: we're just here for...well, everything."

And they were telling the truth. Only an efficient then minutes later, the only objects left in the kitchen were the ponies and the chairs that they sat on. Lyra and Bon-Bon had no idea where the humans put all of this stuff, but they were pretty sure that it wasn't in the kitchen anymore.

The two humans walked towards the door, sacks full of crap, and Bob turned around and said, "Do svidaniya, ponies," and gave a mock salute. Loot. They haz it.

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight:

They looted, and it was good. They also tormented Princess Twilight with their stupidity, and it was also good. Soon, they were so full of food, that it was time to sleep.

"Well Robby, don't know 'bout you, but I'm going to sleep."

Bob yawned, then, "Yeah, sounds good to me too."

Alec looked over at Twilight who was sleeping (not much else to do for her) and called.

"Hey, Princess Twi', you're finally going to see what we actually look like!"

Twilight, though in a foul mood (as you may imagine) she, of course, was aroused in ways of curiosity.

Alec and Bobby nodded to each other and both pulled of their masks. Twilight mentally drank in every detail.

Alec had deep, really deep, blue eyes, a somewhat crooked nose, a small scar on his lip, and another, large one on his left cheek. His flesh was light. No fur anywhere but on the top of his head. It was long-ish, almost down to his eyes, and it was dark brown. Twilight would have been lying if she said that he was ugly.

Robert, though, was a little more ugly. He had a bit of a fat face, a double chin. His eye were blue too, but not anywhere near as deep as Alec's. He was bald. Twilight said "eye," because Bobby's right eye was dead, with a long scar. Rob's pores were also unnaturally large.

Both humans were staring at her intently, smiling, looking to see her reaction.

"You guys....you don't look anything like I thought that you did."

"Wat'd ya imagine? Tentacles and fangs?" Alec.

"Tendrils and five eyes?" Bob.

With a slight blush, Twilight answered, "Well...yeah..."

With come chuckles, both men stripped off their body armor, down to their pants and undershirts. Alec approached Twilight.

Expecting another blow, Twilight braced herself.

"Woah, Bessie. Worry not, I was just gonna give you this."

Twilight opened an eye and looked down. Alec had..something in his hand.

"What's that?"

"Your dinner and sleep aid. Don't worry, no meat or....very harmful contents. Eat up."

Twilight reluctantly lapped it up with her tongue. Sleep aid? Yes.

Princess Celestia was preparing herself for bed when a package, not the usual letter, found its way into her bedroom from the chute near her fireplace.

Curiosity overcoming her fatigue, Celestia trotted over to the small box. It was unmarked. A golden aura enveloped the package as it levitated into the air and opened itself.

The Princess peered inside. She had one more layer of resistance before the actual package was found: a layer of wax paper. It was stained on the inside with something dark. The paper was unfolded with another aura, and Celestia froze.

Inside was a purple feather, and it was covered in blood. The paper was soaked as well. From it emanated the scent of lilacs, and old books. Twilight.

Hoping to...well, nopony, she was the goddess around here. Uh...hoping to herself that it was just a prank, the Solar Princess looked for more clues.

Underneath the blood-soaked feather. There were three more objects. One was...one was a photograph of...something. It was bipedal, had strange, buggy eyes and no mouth. It wore heavy clothing and a large full backpack. The other was a photograph as well, but....Celestia could not, would not believe what it depicted.

It showed the being that the other picture had, only...there was another. And...they were both standing next to Twilight. Only Twilight had her eyes closed. Her eyes were closed, and tiara missing. She was covered in cuts and bruises.

She noticed that the other being grasped a rather large knife. The third and final item was a dirty piece of parchment. On it was scribbled a simple message:

Have a nice day! :)

Pony rage? Pony rage.

"Summon the guards! Ready my chariot! We area going to Ponyville!" the voice bellowed.

If it were not for the sleep potion, Twilight would have been unable to, well, sleep. Alec and Robert snores were probably going to give them away some day, and the ironic part is that neither of them knew that each other snored.

Soon, though, the pair of snoring became only one as Alec was awoken by a noise. It sounded...mechanical...

Shit, psycho pony is back.

"Bob! Bob! Grab your gear, grab your gun!"

Soldiering and Apocalypse surviving had made Bob a fast mover, as did Alec, and they were both fully dressed in battle gear within the minute.

"Come one, to the entrance," Alec instructed.

Soon, they were both outside, eyes searching. Alec had told Rob about this specific Pony.

"Wait...why guns? I thought that we don't want to kill-"

"Bob, I give you full permission to kill this one."

Thus they both sat, weapons at the ready. They did not have to wait long.

The tell-tale tri-dots of green appeared soon, but they were accompanied by...what? The mechanical sound again.

Psycho pony revealed herself in the moonlight and both Bob and Alec were stunned for a moment.

Okay, assuming you've seen Spider-man 2 (Which if you haven't, go see it now) imagine Doc-oc. Now, take Doc out and put a mint-green pony with a suit similar to Sam Fisher's. There ya go.

"Shoot 'er!"

Rob opened fire with his machine gun, and Alec pumped many shells in the direction of the mint green mare.

Every single shot missed. Lyra dodged everything with her robotic arms effortlessly. Cartwheels, backflips, and the works, she was unharmed.

Though, of course, eventually her machine got hit. Fortunately enough, she lost control behind a rock, where she quickly shed her device and fled to live another day. Though Alec and Bob had some new scrap metal.

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine:

"Robert, we're running out of food."

"No we're not...."

"Yes we are!"

"Oh....ohhhh. Yes, our stores are looking a bit low..."

"Onward, comrade!"

After checking that Twilight was still asleep, Alec and Bob headed around the corner. Alec was the first outside and he immediately threw his head down in an effort to dodge a hail of bullets that tore the surrounding vegetation to shreds.

"WHAT THE FU-"

More bullets.

"Rob, what's out there?"

Bob peeked outside and barley avoided a hail of bullets on his own.

"Holy shit Alec, there's a guy from the Dominandi Faction out there!"

Twhat?

"Maybe he got here the same way we did. Shame, if he didn't attack us like that, I would've been willing to create an alliance with him, considering none of us are in our original world anymore....what's he got?"

Bob peeked again, managed to avoid a couple shots and answered, "He's got the infamous AK-47 for a weapon. I saw a crowbar strapped to his back. No large backpack, just a satchel."

"Slaughter 'im."

"Yes sir!"

Alec didn't have to help: Bob was perfectly capable of doing this on his own.

There was a full second of two simultaneous automatic weapons. Then it was over.

Alec hopped out, Bob staying behind just in case there might be others, and walked over to the man.

The way that you identify the Liberum Order from the Dominandi Faction is the way they're dressed. Liberum Order guys usually had gas masks and some heavy, black body armor.

Dominandi Faction guys usually had to settle respirators and surgical masks. They always wore a lot of the color red. Since they were a lot poorer, they didn't have much else to wear as uniforms.

The Dominandi troop was still spasming a bit. There was a growing puddle of blood in the dirt. Alec, rather then loot him out here in the open, grabbed him and dragged him over to the cave.

Twilight, despite the sleeping aid, had been awoken by the gunshots, and was frankly, quite frightened, but she became ever more afraid when she spotted Alec dragging the body of a third human, leaving a thick trail of blood.

"Who...who's that? What happened?"

Alec looked over and let the body fall. He walked over to her and squatted down.

"Well Twi', I think that I forgot to tell you that back home there's a giant war going on between group and another called the Dominandi Faction. The man over there?" Alec gestured with his weapon, "is one of them. I would've been willing to call peace, considering that situation we were all in, but he just opened fire on us."

Bob had taken out his knife and was lowering it to the Dominandi man, now in nothing but his skivvies.

"Bob."

"Yeah?"

"We don't need that: got plenty of foo."

Bob's head clicked, then, "Oh yeah. Hehe forgot for a 'sec."

"Yeah..."

Alec turned to Twilight and said, "You know, we really need to think of a way to let you free without.....letting you free...."

Alec thought for a second, stroking his chin...

He snapped.

"Hey, Rob, hand me that C4."

"Yeah."

Alec caught it, and then set it and his bag down on the ground. After rummaging around inside for a while, he pulled something out with a triumphant "Aha!" and turned his back to Twilight.

His arms began to move, many sounds were heard, and, soon, Alec turned around again showed Twilight his creation.

She wasn't sure what it was, but it was shaped like a collar.

Alec picked the surprised Alicorn up and draped her over his shoulder, facing forward this time. When they reached the cave entrance, Alec stopped and showed Twilight the device yet again.

"See this?"

He then curled his arm back, and launched it forward like a Frisbee. Two seconds after it left the cave, there was an explosion and Alec shielded his eyes.

"There."

From nowhere, Alec put another one around Twilight's neck, she wasn't sure where he got it, and set her on the ground.

He cut all of her bonds.

Ohhh, how her hooves were sore.

"Oh that feels much better."

"'Kay, leave the cave in any way shape or form, you will be all over the place. Same thing will happen if you use magic."

"How did you even do that?"

"I have my ways. And, if you're doubting me, walk outside real fast. The light there will start flashing as a warning, and you have about three seconds to either get back inside, or get blown to pieces."

Twilight took a trembling step outside of the cave, and hopped back inside almost immediately. Yes, there was a light.

"Have a nice day."

"Uh....Alec?" Robert called.

"Yeah?"

"Come 'ere. Now."

Alec, slightly concerned, bid Twilight farewell for a moment and returned inside.

"Look who it is!" Bob announced.

Alec looked and, there was Freddy! Freddy Jenkins!

(There is something of a conspiracy going on here. If you have ever read a fic called "A Lonely Man's Wish," then you might know what it going on. If not, disregard this and continue reading.)

"Woah. How the hell did I get back here?"

"Back here?"

"Oh, oh, I mean, how did I get here?"

Twilight walked over and her eyes widened in recognition.

"Freddy! It's me, Twilight!"

"Alright, what the actual hell?"

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten:

Alec and Bob both knew Freddy Jenkins, but before either he or Twilight could explain what was going on, he vanished. Literally. Into thin air.

"What? Twilight, did you do that?"

"No...must be physics acting up again."

Then, right where Freddy was, someone else was dumped face-first.

"John!"

"Wait...what the hell? Where am I? What are you two doing here?"

Alec groaned, "We're all in a land of magical ponies, not sure how we got here, not sure how to get back. I ponynapped a Princess and Bob and I are slowly looting a nearby town. Members of both the Liberum and the Dominandi are randomly appearing here. You somehow just replaced Freddy. Any questions?"

"Nope."

"Good."

If you thought that things were going fast now, just then there was an explosion by the cave entrance. A magical one.

"Celestia!" Twilight shouted and began to run toward the exit.

"Oh no you don't." Alec knocked Twilight out with his gun. She flopped the the cave ground rather un-princessley.

John, who was dressed similarly to Bob and Alec looked down at the pony.

"Harsh much?"

"No." Robert and Alec answered in unison.

"Well, who's Celestia?"

"Twilight's boss I guess. We pranked her and made her think that we murdered Twi' here. Looks like she's here for revenge."

"You guys have planned for this right?"

"Yesh, grab Twilight's body and follow us."

John shrugged and reached over to grab the purple pony.

As he began to follow Bob and Alec he noticed their impressive stash.

"Wow. Gold, money, food....and some completely useless stuff. You guys have been busy."

"Yes, yes we have."

"Can I...can I join in on the fun?"

"Why of course you can my friend."

"In fact, we're going to have some right now. We're going to a tunnel that Alec and I have been digging out for a while. It leads to a cellar in another Pony's house. We're gonna go there, loot that house, and stake out a base there. Then when Celestia and her troops find us there, we'll put up a heroic last stand, die, and return to the cave."

"We're not really going to die are we?"

"Of course not."

As the found the hidden tunnel, the collar around Twilight's neck began to blip.

"Piss!" Alec threw here rather violently back into the cavern.

"Hehe, forgot about the dead-man's switch."

He reached over and slipped it off.

"Okay let's go."

"Things are really weird right now. I like it," John said.

"It's great fun isn't it?"

It was lunch time, and Octavia and Vinyl sat down, said grace, and began to eat their cucumber sandwiches.

"Thanks for making the food, again, 'Tavi."

"Oh, I suppose it's not that much of a problem. Besides, If I ever let you cook again...well there are no more houses that are available for purchase, and our insurance doesn't cover fire."

"I could try and cook them with-"

"No, no, I assure you, the dishwasher was enough."

"It works, and pretty good too."

"Yes, but that doesn't make it any less annoying."

Vinyl only chuckled and they continues eating some more. Then Octavia's ear cocked.

"Vinyl...did you hear that?"

"Nah...what was it?"

"Sounded like the cellar door opened-"

"Holy buck!"

"Vinyl! Language!"

"Look!"

"Wha-"

Every single window in the building shattered in a cacophony of noise.

"You have been evicted in the name of the Liberum Order, out, outoutoutoutout."

Neither Vinyl no Octavia had time to react; they were both shoved out the door. They were both laying in awkward positions on the ground.

"'Tavi....did you see that?"

"I believe that I did..."

"Off my lawn!"

The ground around the ponies exploded in several spouts of dirt as Alec emptied his pistol clip around them. The two ponies scattered.

"Okay gentlemen, lock the doors and board the windows. Today we die."

"Yes sir"

"Yessir!"

"Away!"

Princess Celestia's troops flooded the cavern.

The Princess waited patiently for her guards to drag the monsters out.

She was just contemplating on whether she should eviscerate them, or disintegrate them, when they returned.

"Where are the monsters?"

"They escaped you majesty, we cannot find them! But come inside, look at this."

Princess Celestia followed her guards inside.

"Woah..."

There was an amazing heap of bits, diamonds, gems, clothes, food items, household appliances, blades, tools, and what she assumed were improvised weapons. No order, just hoarded.

"Well," she scoffed, "They certainly know what they are doing."

"Alec..."

"Yeah?"

"Where's this glorious fake last stand you were talking about?"

"Not sure. Maybe she gave up."

"The two ponies we booted will probably get Princess Whoever."

"I thought that they would, but it seems-"

The front lawn shattered, for lack of a better word.

"There she is!"

"Load your weapons!"

There was an array of clicks and snaps as they primed all of their weapons.

"Remember, don't kill any other them. Maiming is fine, but we don't want any dead ponies on our evil, stupid hands."

They all sat. Soon, an army of pikes began to rise on the horizon.

"Woah....she brought....wow..."

It was a pretty impressive army. She must have been furious.

"We didn't go to far, did we?"

"Of course not."

"Okay...three...two...one....OPEN FIRE!"

The bullets tore apart the ground in front of Celestia's army.

"Forward Stallions! We Avenge Princess Twilight!"

"Flour bombs?"

"Yep."

Bob pulled out a crate filled with bags of flour, each with a tiny bit of C4 inside.

John only looked at them.

"You guys are idiots."

"We know."

"Yeah! Flour!"

Bob, Alec, and John all began hucking the bags out of the window, right in front of the charging golden-shod ponies.

"NOW!"

The explosion of white (Hehe, dirty mind) was something to behold.

It blinded many of the first few ranks, who tripped, and the domino effect made its way throughout the entire mass.

All three humans burst out in unstoppable laughter.

The Stallions, however, were not amused. They all began to get back up. They were close to the front of the building.

"Shall we run for our lives?"

"Yes, we shall."

"Full retreat! Angry ponies avast!"

They all retreated into the cellar again. Bob picked up Twilight and threw her, quite roughly, back into the tunnel.

"Ketchup?"

"Da."

"Semtex?"

"Affirmative."

"Set it up."

"Yes commander."

He did that, and they all huddled into the tunnel. Just as they heard the soldiers make their way inside, Alec shouted, "Fus ro DAH!" and detonated the charge. The spray of ketchup was immense, as was the explosion.

"Gentlemen, we have just committed suicide to defend out honor, rather then be captured."

"Yup."

"Alec?" John asked.

"NNNyess?"

"I'm never going back home."

"I know dat feel bro. Onward!"

"URA!"

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven:

"Princess Celestia's death is imminent." and it was.

Everything was gone. The gold, the food, all of it. Gone.

"Shit!"

"Damn..."

"*PROFANITY!*"

They were all silent. Angry and disappointed. They didn't expect her to take everything.

There is only one way to fix this. LOOT THE ENTIRE BLOODY TOWN!

"Bob, John, you two thinking what I am?"

"I believe so."

"Loot all the houses?"

"Why yes, you incredibly smart people you."

"You grabbed the dead-man's switch didn't ya?"

"Yerp."

"Slip it on 'er."

"Done."

"Alright. Onward!"

And they slaughtered every single pony in town, and burned it down. I'm just kidding, this is what happened:

"Wait....we have guns and stuff, but...our forces...there are still only three of us..."

And, it was at that moment, in a very "Piano-in-the-bushy" type way. (An uncannily convenient manner) that the entire cave was filled with Liberum soldiers.

In the moment of silence that followed, Bob said, "Well there you go."

Alec organized a briefing. He explained to all of the men what was going as, with all that he knew, and what just happened.

It took a while, but soon all of the men were ready to loot some ponies.

If only we had a tank.

Alec braced himself for a tank to appear, but no such luck.

Up in heaven, God had his attention on Equestria. By himself, he hadn't had this much fun in a long time. All of his angles were gathering around to watch. God had paused the time on all other worlds for this. It had been twelve billion years since he had done something like this, and no one had wanted to miss out.

"URA!"

The ground shook as the soldiers charged from the Everfree forest, only to stop. The town. It was already being looted. By Dominandi troops. Lots of them.

Alec, the ring leader, turned around and said, "That's our loot!"

And they charged.

Flames snaked into the sky, and explosions rocked the ground. The bolts of bright lights that signified bullets tore through flesh and stone, wood and metal.

Ponyvillians had launched a full-scale evacuation, just wanting to get the hell out of there. Only....the humans were actually fighting over some of the ponies who couldn't escape. Now they were just grabbing everything. Normally I'd say that they were grabbing everything that wasn't nailed down, but that's not true because they grabbed that stuff too.

They weren't even killing each other anymore, just grabbing everything that they could. It was a contest on who could loot the most things. No one was winning.

Princess Celestia had just returned to her Palace, feeling quite satisfied with herself, when one of her guards ran up to her.

"Princess Celestia!" He bowed deeply.

"What? What is it?"

"Ponyville! It's under attack! By two armies of humans!"

Raah.

"Summon the troops, again, we have a town to rescue!"

Celestia arrived, expecting to see a town in turmoil...but, instead...she was nothing. Literally. Nothing. Where Ponyville once was, there was only the foundations of buildings.

The humans...they had bucking taken the buildings. How is that even possible? Celestia didn't think that it was, but apparently it was.

There were two massive groups of footprints, each one leading into different parts of the Everfree Forest.

Celestia turned and addressed her troops.

"Stallions! We have an infestation of rather annoying creatures to get rid of!"

THE END

Just kidding, not really. Thought I won't be writing any more chapters for a bit, as you might have been able to see, I'm a bit out of inspiration. Wait patiently, young ones.

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

The Pearly Gates opened up and a creature with a snake tail, mismatched horns, and yellow eyes entered. It was Discord, the Draconequues. HE had arrived with an exclusive invite from God.

Strangely, heaven seemed empty, vacant. Turns out, all of the angels were huddled around, watching Equestria as god screwed around. Discord walked over, hands behind his back.

"God? You summoned me?"

The bearded entity looked over his shoulder and returned his view.

"Yes, come here. I am having a bit of fun with the ponies of Equestria, but I am out of ideas. I need you to come and give me some advice."

"Ooh, sounds like fun. When Satan asked for me, he just wanted me to kill people. At least you know how to have real fun."

Discord looked into the world and his mouth formed and o.

"You've been busy. My body has been locked in stone, so I don't really know what's been going on."

The God of Chaos frowned and said, "No, no, no, take the army away."

"Why?"

"Because, it's much funner with just three guys. But...leave the other guys there."

God shrugged.

"If you say so."

Rainbow Dash was really quite confused. Revenge had been on her mind, but suddenly she almost felt as if the hospital was moving. No doctors or nurses had come, so she just waited. After an hour or so, there was a thud and a slight falling sensation, and the building was still once more.

What was going on?

Alec snored heavily, as did the rest of his troops. But, suddenly, something was wrong. Alec woke up and noticed that the cave felt...empty.

"Oi, Bob. Wake up."

"*Snort* Yeah?"

"Turn on your flashlight."

There was a ruffling sound and a click echoed throughout the cave. Alec and Bob gasped.

The men. They were gone.

"Check John."

"Yeah, still there?"

"That would be a Pository."

"Twilight?"

"Yap."

"What is going on? Seriously?"

Well, at least they still had all of their loot...

The Alicorn was roused by the men's voices.

"Ugh...why am I still here?"

"Not sure."

John still snored heavily.

"Seems like whatever's screwing with us really wants to see you suffer more."

"Whoopee. Hasn't Celestia killed you guys yet?"

"She tried, but here we are. She might be coming back, though, we literally tore up Ponyville."

"What do you mean...?"

Twilight gaped when she noticed the mounds of loot.

"You guys are really in for it."

"So we guessed. We're hoping that she goes for the other Faction first."

Twilight groaned. She hadn't walked on her own for days...

"Oh well, seems as if our forces have been depleted. Nighty night."

John chose then to wake up.

"Huh? Wha-?"

"Shh. Go back to sleep."

The man sleepily nodded and collapsed to the floor again. Alec really hoped that the Dominandi Faction suffered equal losses.

There was a thundering war cry from outside of the cave.

"Never mind! Everyone wake up!"

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve:

Far away, in a completely separate dimension, the creator of this alternate universe was worried. This is his story:

So I was trying to think of ways to try and un-piss you all of and it came to me, I'll re-open the story! And then, then I'll apologize!

So that's what I'm doing. If you don't want to hear (Or read) it, then just ignore this chapter.

So, what I was thinking was, well, I was out of inspiration. Even though it's a random trollfic, I was out of inspiration. So my brain said to me, hey, buddy. You're out of inspiration, you have no idea what to do...why don't you end the story, and, when you give more then two craps, you can start up a sequel?

That's what I was thinking. See where I;m coming from? Though, now I see what I did, and why you guys are so angry. I am sorry about that, I didn't think about that that way. I overestimated you tolerance level for random crap (That's what I thought you liked, because...well, that's the entire story) but what I did was pretty stupid.

Okay, now I'm done apologizing, now for you.

Guise. Guise. The tags. The tags include. "Random," and "Comedy," for heaven's sake. It's supposed to be a bit random, stupid, make no sense.

Summary: Sorry, should've thought more, you guys...lighten up.

Internet truce? /)

Okay, be happy, I fixed. Though I will still be deleting those hateful comments...that make me want to just off of something tall.

By the way, if you're confused, if you weren't following this story while I was writing it (so far) I am apologizing for the fact that the last chapter really WAS then end. But, as you can see, I fixed it.