The two of us lay in the barn, embracing one another; once the adrenaline subsided the cold had finally sunk into my coat so I appreciated the warmth she provided. The sweet smell of her sweat combined with the feel of her hot breath on the nape of my neck sent me into a state of hypnosis that would soon carry me off to sleep. A well deserved sleep.
"Wow," Dash said, speaking between pants, "I really didn't think you'd go through with it." I 'hmm'ed' in response. I wasn't ready to start speaking yet. I was still trying to catch my breath. "I mean, I've done this a lot but I never thought I'd be doing it with you."
"It was fun. I've had a great time, Rainbow." it was quiet for a few minutes as we absorbed our surroundings. The sun would be rising soon and I'd need to go home before Spike wondered where I was - provided he's awake - and things would most likely go back to the way they were; I'd go back to being an egghead and Rainbow Dash would remain a err, badass, for lack of a better word. "I'd like to do this again sometime."
"For real?" the excitement in her voice was so blatant. I smiled and nodded. "I mean, yeah, sure."
"Maybe next time Pinkie could join us." I looked up at her and she smiled. Not her half-smile. It wasn't the smile of some pony trying to be cool. It was a big, goofy, adorable smile. Her real smile.
___________________________________________________________________
"Do what thou wilt;" I began "because ponies that are free, well-born, well-bred, and conversant in honest companies, have naturally an instinct and spur that prompteth them unto virtuous actions, and withdraws them from vice, which is called honour. Those same ponies, when by base subjection and constraint they are brought under and kept down, turn aside from that noble disposition by which they formerly were inclined to virtue, to shake off and break that bond of servitude wherein they are so tyrannously enslaved; for it is agreeable with the nature of ponies to long after things forbidden and to desire what is denied us."
"Uh huh." Rainbow Dash responded in monotone, as she had the past three times I quoted something utterly brilliant to her. "So... What does that mean?"
"It was the rules of the Thelemites. They could do whatever they want so long as they thought on that clause; the only reason somepony would wish to steal, for example, would be because they were bound by law not to do so. By giving these ponies free will they felt no urge to harm one another and lived in harmony. It's brilliant!"
"Uh huh." she continued to sit back in her chair staring at the ceiling.
"You promised you'd help me re-arrange the library." I reminded her.
"Yeah, but I didn't know it would suck so much." I placed my copy of Malleus Malificarum, The Hammer of Evil Enchantresses in it's rightful spot; among the 'M's' - it somehow managed to find it's way in the 'Q's'.
"I'm not forcing you to stay. You can go if you want to do something else."
"No, I don't wanna leave ya hanging. It's just... This is so... Nevermind, you want me to organise these guys?" she pointed at a stack of books I had put aside for her an hour and a half ago accompanied by me saying to her I need you to organise these. Alphabetically.
"That'd be great. Could you do it in alphabetical order?"
"Yes, ma'am." and she set off with her task. Not five minutes passed before she broke the silence with, "This is boring." I sighed.
"You can go. I'll be fine."
"You sure?" she slowly put the pile down as if any sudden movement would cause me to pounce.
"I'm certain. I have my own way of organising this place, anyways."
"Alright then. Look, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. Swear."
"Uh huh."
___________________________________________________________________________
I checked the clock once I finished clearing the library. Eleven-thirty PM. Woah. I guess I could've done with Rainbow's help after all. Spike got home a few hours ago but I was too busy working to talk and he was too tired from whatever he had been up to so he just went to bed almost instantly. Almost instantly. Of course, he had to raid the fridge for everything first. So when I went to get something to eat all we had was cheese. Cheese it is! I hardly dined like a Queen but it beats starving. After my fine feast of dairy I decided it was definitely time to hit the hay. I headed to the bedroom where Spike was fast asleep and checked the clock for a second time. Midnight. I wrapped myself in the blankets and tried to fall asleep. The thing is with sleep, however, is that when you want to sleep, you can't. But when you don't want to, it becomes as unavoidable as breathing. I lay awake for a long time before I decide to abandon my efforts. Maybe if I start doing something I'll just fall asleep in a matter of minutes. I walked back into the library to grab a book called Leaves of Grass by Trot Whitpone; a collection of poems. Contrary to popular belief, it's not a cookbook. I get halfway through Song of Myself when I briefly glance out the window. I do a double take upon seeing the figure of somepony standing - well, hovering - outside.
"Rainbow?" I say, I was right about the reading to make myself tired thing; I can hear the fatigue in my voice.
"Hey!" she says as if it were midday and we were just walking by one another. She was dressed all in black; black woolly hat, black long sleeve jumper, black paint on her face; two small horizontal stripes on either cheek. I open my window.
"You know its..." I check the clock, "One o' clock in the morning, right?!"
"I didn't know that. Just knew it was late. Well, early, I guess." I stare at her unsure of whether I should be confused or concerned. I was definitely feeling both but I wasn't sure which of the two I felt more. "C'mon! Times-a-wastin'!"
"C'mon? I- What?"
"You and me are gonna have some fun." she gave me a half smile.
"You and I" I corrected.
"Sure, whatever. Let's just go."
"Rainbow Dash. You're confusing me a lot."
"I can explain on the way."
"On the way to where?"
"...I'll explain on the way."
I followed Rainbow Dash through Ponyville. It was dark, obviously, but the skies glowed with street lamps. It was beautiful from a distance but when you get close you realise it's just the same old roads and buildings you see every day. Nothing spectacular. We'd been walking for nearly ten minutes and she hadn't said a word. She kept looking around as if there was some law against being out at one in the morning. There isn't, just to be clear. She was still in her black ninja wannabe costume. I felt under dressed until I realised how ridiculous she looked.
"Uhm, Rainbow?"
"Hold on a sec." she trotted over to a nearby tree. I followed.
"What are you doing?" I laughed as she stuck her hoof in the trunk of said tree.
"Yes!!" she pulled out a scarf wrapped in a ball. She spread it out on the ground revealing a pair of lime green contact lenses and spray paint. For her ninja costume, maybe? "I almost thought Pinkie held out on me." she turned to me shooting her half smile. "We just need one more thing..." she began stripping the bark off of the tree with her bare hoofs. Okay. Rainbow Dash is insane. Lost her mind. Gone nuts. Loco in the coco.
"What are you doing?" I repeated. Only this time I didn't laugh. She ignored me. "Rainbow!" she turned around. "You said you'd explain what's going on yet here you are, stripping random-object-hiding trees!"
"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot! Okay, so you know how you're a total nerd and stuff?"
"I... Wouldn't put it that way..."
"Egghead, geek, dork, whatever. You're perfect for this prank I have planned!" she threw me the strips of wood she tore off the tree, "Put that in your saddlebag." I complied.
"A prank? I'm not sure..."
"Look, you only have to do one thing. We're gonna make Spike think he's a Timberwolf!"
"...That's it?"
"Well, no. There's more. Which is where you come in!" she ruffled my mane.
"Okay... So, what do I have to do?"
"Write."
"Write?"
"That's right!" she half smiled again, amused by her own joke.
"I don't know... What do I have to write?" the word 'write' had been said so many times that it didn't even sound like a real word anymore.
"A love letter to Spike from Rarity."
"I can't do that!"
"Sure ya can."
"Not to Spike! You and I both know how much he likes Rarity. When he finds out it's fake he'll be crushed!"
"Nah, I think Spike will see the funny side of it."
"Rainbow..."
"Twilight." she playfully bumped her hoof on my nose. I pushed her away.
"I'm not going through with this!"
"Have you ever done anything fun in your life just for the sake of it?" I looked down at the ground. "I'm asking you to do one thing for me. Spike isn't going to hate you. He might be mad but that'll last an hour or so. And if he get's really mad, I'll take the fall. Just for tonight, Twilight. For one night. Do something fun." I kept staring at the ground. Spike and I have been friends for so long. While it would be wrong to do something like this to such a loyal friend it is only a prank. Rainbow does have a point. Besides, Spike's a boy; he'll brush of any embarrassment in a matter of seconds and forget it ever happened. I looked back up at her.
"Alright, Rainbow Dash. I'll do it."
~~~
Once we snuck back into the library I got straight to writing that love letter and Rainbow got to changing Spike into a timberwolf. I checked the clock. Four AM. Jeez... I'm supposed to be up at six tomorrow. I guess I can forget about sleep. I was too tired to write anything so I flicked through some poetry to inspire myself. After a full twenty minutes of skimming the pages I settled for just plagiarizing some other poet; Spike wouldn't notice. I found an interesting poem by Remedy Hoofington called I Held A Jewel In My Hooves. It seemed appropriate. I levitated a quill and began scratching away at a scroll.
As I was finishing up the poem, Rainbow came back.
"How's the love letter coming along?" she said.
"It's a poem."
"Nice. Lemme hear it." I cleared my throat.
"I held a jewel in my hooves, and went to sleep, the day was warm, and winds were prosy, I said 'Twill keep', I woke and chid my honest hooves, the gem was gone, and now, an amethyst remembrance is all I own." I waited for a response.
"Uh huh." she said. Why did I expect anything else? "Pass it here a sec." the scroll floated over to her accompanied by the quill and she began writing her own addition. In a matter of seconds she handed it back to me. "There ya go. Much better." the poem now read:
I held a jewel in my hooves,
And went to sleep,
The day was warm,
And winds were prosy,
I said, 'Twill keep',
I woke and chid my honest hooves,
The gem was gone,
And now, An amethyst remembrance is all I own.
Spike, you're really hot and I wanna go on a date with you some time. Tomorrow at 3PM.
Signed, Rarity.
Ah, poetic grace.
"Spike will never fall for this." I told her.
"Sure, he will! He's fallen for dumber stuff. Like, this one time me and Pinkie-"
"Pinkie and I." I corrected.
"Ugh, okay Twilight Sparkle; Queen of Grammarland. Pinkie and I made Spike believe there was such thing as a zombie pony!"
"Hmm. I recall the nightmares he used to have. So, that was your doing, was it Miss Dash?" she held back a laugh.
"He had nightmares? Oh, man. That's funny!"
"So, what are we doing with this?" I said, levitating the scroll confessing Rarity's fictional love for Spike.
"I'll deliver it in a few hours when Spike's awake." she placed it in her saddlebag. "You just need to make sure he reads it." I nodded.
"Can I see how he looks?"
"No. Your reaction needs to be one-hundred percent genuine."
"Oh. Uhm, alright..." I looked at the clock. Five thirty AM. Usually I wake up at six so going to bed was utterly pointless now.
"I better head out. I'll see you 'round, Twi!" I saw her to the front door. "Thanks for doing this." she said and half smiled before taking off.
"The pleasure was all mine..." I deadpanned to no one in particular; she was already miles high in the sky. I was seriously ready to collapse on the floor and sleep for the rest of my life. I'd never been so tired since... well, ever. I've always had a strict sleeping pattern. Last night was a one off thing. No more all nighters from here on out.
~~~
Thirty minutes later, six o' clock, Spike came rushing in. Rainbow did an amazing job. It was beyond description how he looked. (But I'll try because y'know... Sake of the story and the sort.) His eyes were a bright green to the point where his pupils were not visible. His eyes were green. Pure green. No iris. No pupil. Nothing other than green. His scales had been replaced by the bark from the tree she had stripped earlier making it look like some form of armor; plates of it on his chest and arms and the backs of his legs. She also managed to stuff some fur in between the gaps. I don't remember her getting fur but she did mention having this planned. I mean, he still looked like a dragon but more timberwolf-y. I haven't slept, it's hard to explain things.
"Twilight! You gotta help me!" he fell to his knees infront of me begging for assistance.
"My goodness, what in Equestria happened to you?" Okay, I'll be the first to admit it; my acting is awful.
"I- I don't know! I woke up and I was itchy and when I went to scratch myself I was all wooden and hairy!" seeing his state of panic made me want to tell him it's all a joke and clean him up. But I'll be damned if I stayed up all night to submit to guilt after one minute.
"Well, I'm sure there's something we can do, if we just--"
"There is! You just gotta cast a spell! Zap me back to normal!" he made a good point. I could've easily turned him into a timberwolf via magic. It's a simple transformation spell and would've saved about oh, five hours! I sighed.
"Uhm, I don't think it'll be that simple. You said you were itchy when you woke up?"
"Yeah. All over!"
"Hmmm. I've heard of this kind of curse..."
"Curse?!" maybe my acting wasn't so bad.
"Yes! It's the curse of, uh, Drag...Ber...Wolf." I hate myself sometimes.
"Dragberwolf? The Dragberwolf curse?"
"...Yes?"
"Well, how do we get rid of it!" Ah, to be young and ignorant again.
"I may have to refresh my knowledge on it..." I said, levitating a random book from the shelves. I skimmed the pages throwing in the occasional 'mhmm' and 'uh-huh' to make it look like I was doing something. Spike wouldn't take his eyes off me. Those nothing-but-green eyes... "Oh! Could you get the mail?"
"Uh, sure..." he sifted through the letters until he came across the one I wrote last night. He froze. "Uh oh."
"What's wrong?" he slammed the scroll on the table.
"Tomorrow!" I blinked at him. "Rarity wants to go on a date with me. Tomorrow! She finally comes to her senses and realises I'm the most charming and handsome dragon in Equestria and I turn into a monster! Great! It had to be tomorrow! Of all days. Tomorrow!"
"Uhh, I'm sure we can fix this before then... I just need to get a few things to reverse this curse. You wait here. I'll be back." I made a break for the door, slamming it behind me. I had to get out of there. Lying always makes me feel so claustrophobic. I wandered around Ponyville for half an hour catching my breath and getting some air. After another ten minutes I found who I was really looking for. There on a bench was a passed out Rainbow Dash. I shook her a little.
"Unh." she rolled over, I shook her again. "Unh." I jabbed my horn into her ribs. "Woah!" she fell off the bench with a satisfying thud.
"Good morning, Miss Dash."
"Hey, Twi. How goes it?"
"Not good."
"How not good?"
"Curse of the Dragberwolf not good."
"Oh, man, that is weak! You could've had... Okay, I got nothing but Dragberwolf! Lame. Just saying."
"Question."
"Shoot."
"Why couldn't I have just cast a transformation spell on him?!" she ruffled my mane and bumped my nose playfully like she had last night. Or earlier this morning.
"Oh, Twi. That would ruin the excitement of sneaking around at night. And it would've ended up being all your work. Your prank. I wanted it to be our prank." I looked at her as if she were crazy. I didn't want to prank Spike at all. I wanted to sleep. "Besides, Pinkie and I made a 'no magic' pact when we started pranking ponies on a regular basis. Magic always takes out the fun of working for the laugh. Like, you spend all night stripping trees and disguising dragons as wolves trying not to wake him and then you get the final result and it's hilarious. You appreciate the laugh and they appreciate the work you put it for such a great prank. If you use magic to do all that in a few seconds then you're just being a dick."
"I hadn't thought of it like that." she ruffled my mane again.
"The more you know!" I turned to go back to the library. "Oh!" she handed me a pair of pants. "Make sure he goes to the lake and wears these."
"The lake?"
"It's like, that way." she pointed over to AJ's barn. "It's behind there."
"Why the pants?"
"You'll see." I hated it when she said things like that. It's not like this is a book and she'll spoil the ending for me.
"Pinkie and I..." I said, "Well done." I smiled at her and headed back. I could hear her laughter fade out as I got further away.
~~~
When I got back to the library, Spike was still reading that poem. Obsessing over it. I was kind of excited to see how he'll react to it being fake. I threw the pants on the table infront of him. He looked up at me confused.
"Put those on." he slowly dragged them off the table.
"Is this to reverse the curse?"
"I guess so." he pulled them up and fastened the belt that came with it.
"Now we need to get out to the lake." I told him.
"What?! I can't go out like this!"
"Sure you can!" I held a mirror infront of him and cast a quick spell, "You're invisible!" he started to dissapear, I loved watching ponies go invisible, there's something so soothing about it. It's like stirring coffee. You watch all this stuff just vanish but it's still there and it's making the water it vanishes in so much better. That's what it reminds me of. They're becoming part of the air and making it richer. "Stay close to me." I said as we walked through the door. He grabbed my tail. I smiled as I thought of when he was a baby and would grab my tail all the time. When he was hungry, wanted to play, scared, anything. Any reason to grab my tail, he'd do it. It's also how I taught him to walk. Wow, we've been friends for a long time...
We got to the lake and Rainbow was there waiting for us. She half smiled at me.
"Where's Spike?"
"Right here." he faded back into the world.
"Awesome! How's it going, Spike?"
"Not good."
"Right. Well, go ahead, Spike. Walk in the lake. That should reverse this thing."
"How do you know?"
"Twilight was telling me about all this. Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." she winked at him and he grabbed my tail. I looked down at him.
"What's wrong?"
"Can... You come with me?" he tugged my tail slightly and I laughed.
"Sure." we walked together as the water ate at Spike's disguise. The fur fell apart like tissue paper and the wood floated away. He checked himself over before jumping up and running back out cheering. I shook my head and walked over to him and Rainbow.
"Thank you so much Twilight!" he hugged me tighter than he has ever done before.
"Oh. Erm, that's okay, Spike." I looked at Rainbow. Where's the prank? He was a little freaked out. Was that it? I noticed his contact lenses were still in. Spike released me before cheering again. Rainbow whispered in my ear.
"Now for the grand finale..." she walked up behind Spike and pulled his pants down.
"What?! That's it?! I stayed up all night for that!? You've got to be kidding me! Where's the prank?! Was it the part where he freaked out a tiny bit? The part where you got to ruffle my mane a few times? What was that?!" Spike and Rainbow looked at eachother before laughing. I just watched them both.
"The prank was the part where I made you stay up all night and expect this super awesome prank to play out before your eyes and in the end you get some anti-climatic pantsing." Rainbow explained before bursting into laughter again.
"Did you see how mad she got?" Spike observed as he took out the contacts. "She was so into character this morning too! She was all 'Oh, my Spike! What ever has happened to you?'"
"Yeah! Oh, Spike. Seriously, dude. Nice job." they both high fived and stood up.
"I... don't get it." I said, Rainbow Dash put her leg around me and ruffled my mane for a third time today.
"Twilight, walk with me." she took me down a dirt path and Spike said he'd see me back at home. "What did you think?"
"I still don't get it. Were we pranking Spike? Did it just go wrong?"
"Nope. You were getting pranked by me and Spike."
"...Spike and me."
"Dammit. Well, yeah. The prank was to get you stay up all night for no real reason."
"That's dumb. It has no purpose."
"Does a prank need a purpose?"
"I guess not."
"Wanna know why I like pranking so much?"
"Sure."
"The prank itself doesn't need to be good or even funny. I just love the planning. Coming up with all the steps and timings. It's fun. Pinkie's the one who likes the pranking but I prefer just sitting in a room with her and hashing it out. Think about it, whenever you go somewhere like, uh, The Grand Galloping Gala! When we were headed there it was super exciting and we couldn't sleep 'cuz of how darn excited we were."
"And then we got there and it was awful."
"Right! That's what pranking is like. You don't know if it's gonna go to hell or not so you might as well have all the fun you can in the planning process." I was starting to see what she meant. "I should've written this down so I wouldn't ramble..." she rubbed the back of her head.
"No, it's okay. I get it. I think. But, why are you saying all this?"
"Because I wanted you to be on the planning side of it."
"But I was getting pranked..."
"Yeah, but you didn't know that! I had Spike pretend everything was going to plan so you'd see how fun this can be! And it was fun, right?"
"It was fun." I smiled at her. "So, why did I have to be on the planning side?"
"Pinkie and I want you to join us in pranking ponies."
"Why?"
"Dude, I saw you yesterday. You need way more fun in your life. You can't clean libraries all day until you're older than Celestia. Dash's law. No arguing with it."
"I don't know..."
"You have to say yes."
"What? Why?"
She half smiled, "Dash's law."