What Happened Between Seasons Three and Four

by firstdayisaw

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Human, Comedy
Length: 3467

Short story written in a couple of hours, not meant to be taken seriously.

Our main protagonist faces a daunting task, but with the help of gods, he has a chance. This is the story of Crapman, the savior of all ponykind.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-22 15:03:59 UTC

Chapter 1

What happened between seasons three and four.

The time had come for the end of season three. I was sad, but also happy. My favorite characters had starred in my favorite episode and all was well in school and life. Well, as well as it could be I suppose. Anyway, I waited two weeks for the last episode to air, and another three days to watch it. And I have to say, it was pretty good. Lots of meme-able content and all. It was only a few days after that that I started seeing things. Strange things. My time on the internet had exposed me to various things that scientists could do, and I started thinking of all of them. Was I getting a sixth sense? Was I going insane? Was I falling into a portal to a new world? Was I turning into something else? Was I, well never mind. Turns out I wasn't doing any of those things, I just needed more sleep. And then it happened. The Friday two weeks after the finale. Some Secret Government Organization Ninja Operative, or Sgono for short, came into my house after school. No break in or anything, he just walked in through the front door and asked to talk with me. I was nervous, but he had a black face mask on, and I wasn't about to argue. I figured that I would wait until my dad got home. Then he could make up a plan or something. So the Sgono showed me his ID and I offered him some tea and we had a seat on the couch. After a few sips, I asked him why he was here. He replied with a studious glance from under the ninja mask and asked me “What do you know about magical candy colored ponies?” I was a little taken aback by his question, but I answered truthfully, “Everything, I guess.” He didn't seem too happy about that. Another sip of tea and he asked another question: “Did you know the government doesn't want you to watch that show?” “Why?” I asked. “Because its a matter of national security.” I was a little confused, but I could see how it could be. Maybe the writers were spies writing government secrets into the show. When I asked him if this was the case, he answered “yes”. Then he told me that I had to have my memories of the show wiped completely, and I would never think about the show again. This news saddened me, but I let him get out a pen with a light on it, similar to the ones in Men in Black. He even put on a pair of aviator sunglasses when he pulled it out from his ninja robes.

I thought about the show, and all its characters one last time. I was preparing to say goodbye forever when something that I hadn't noticed about the show before stood out suddenly. A single spoken line, not even from the mouth of one of the mane-six. A line I had quoted at least a few dozen times before. A simple phrase that in that moment made all the sense in the world. With my last remembering breath, I formed the mouth shapes needed to say it. The flashy thingy flashed and I could feel my brain forgetting all the ponies, but I still remembered enough in that split second to say that one, oh so important line, that somehow I knew would change my life forever. “Eenope.” The Sgono put up the flashy thingy and took off his shades. He looked at me with pity, as he asked me what I knew about ponies again. This time I told him “Nothing, I guess.”

I lied. I lied so hard I almost burst out laughing that he believed me. He thanked me for the tea, grabbed his sword from the coat rack, where I made him put it before I let him in the house, and left to go do more Sgono business. The moment he closed the door I fell over, dying of laughter. I kept laughing so hard I started crying and moaning “my sides!” over and over again. I had just cheated the death of my memories. I had just looked fate in the masked face and said, “Buck you, fate! I don’t need your crap!” I had just saved My little pony from extinction. That last thought sobered me up, as I realized that I just might be the only one in the world who remembered the show at all, except for the Sgono, but he didn't count. I sat down, feeling a sudden weight on my shoulders. I felt responsible. Not for the shows death, but for its rebirth. As I stared at the television screen waiting for my parents to come home, I kept thinking of all the bronies in the world who would never again feel the happiness that the show first brought them. I thought of how sad Pinkie Pie would be if she were here. I thought of her hair cliche-ly deflating. In those minutes of remembrance for my fallen bronies, I made a decision. I would not let this show go quietly into the dark. I couldn't let it just die. And if I did take it to my grave, it would be in trying to give it back to the people. I was going to be a hero, despite the consequences. I was going to save them crystal ponies, and all the normal ones too. I was going to say Spiderman’s catchphrase, and live like I had the most important purpose in the world. Because as the last surviving brony, I probably did. I was going to save the world from this tyranny and oppression if it was the last thing I do.

I needed a plan. The whole “I’m gonna save the world” thing is easy to say. Much harder to put in motion. A sudden thought hit me like a falling pegasus. “Check the internet, dummy.” I ran into my room, turned on my lappy, clicked open chrome, and started searching for ponies. I googled “ponies”, but that gave me gen-3 and real ones. I googled “My little pony”, but the results were the same. I used the address bar instead, going to the subreddits I knew. Nothing. I tried EQD. Again, nothing. At last, I google imaged Fluttershy. Not a single yellow pegasus to be found. I sat back and let out a whimper. They really were all gone. No M.A.Larson belief, no Twilicorn, no nothing. Again, I told myself that I had to stop this injustice. I had to do something, anything, but I knew of nothing to do. I couldn’t just ask around, because the Sgono thought I knew nothing, and I wanted it to stay that way. I gave up hope for the day. I ate dinner. I went to sleep. But in my dreams, they came for me. They comforted me. They recruited me.

I was in a large open room. The walls were all a white blur, filled with pictures and gifs of various scenes from the show, and some not at all from the show. Some of these scenes were memories, straight from the minds of... someone. Or rather, somepony. In the room with me stood tall and gallant the one and only Princess Celestia. Flanked on each flank was Luna and Cadance. Twillight and co. were off in the distance. I walked up to them and asked if I was dreaming. Celestia said “yes”. I asked if this was real. She said “kind of”. I was confused. But I didn’t dwell too much on my confusion. Strange things were happening in real life, why not in dreams too? She told me that as of that night, I was the only person in the world to remember her little ponies, aside from the Sgono, but he didn’t count. I told her of my wish to save them, and she gratefully thanked me for my courage. But, she wasn’t convinced that I could actually do it, so she gave me powers to help with my task. She explained “The word you said earlier, the quote from Big Mac, was a word of power used for centuries by the alicorns and I. When used with magic, it makes the world to be that way. You said eenope and your memories weren’t erased. I will now tell you of a few more words of power. Eenope is often used in concert with Eeyup, which makes the things you want to happen happen. There is also Derp. This word will make anything and everything work strangely or randomly. Discord uses this word a lot.” I tried to explain that I had no magic, but she told me “Friendship is magic, and as the last brony, you have inherited all of the friendship in the entire fandom and you have all the magic and friendship of all of us, too.” I felt powerful suddenly, like I just stepped on pikachu’s tail and I wasn’t afraid. “With the words of power, you will also receive all of Twilight’s spells. Use them wisely. Also, Pinkie Pie has given you full access to her self-named Pinkie sense. This should keep you from danger. The pegasi  wanted to give you wings, but I’ve just given the last pair to twilight. So you’ll have to make due with Rainbow  Dash’s Extreme speed on land only. Big Mac has granted you temporary control of all his super strength as well. I can only hope that these powers can help you save us, and in so doing, save all of Equestria.” She wanted to say more, but was interrupted by my waking up. I could hear her last words echoing away as I got out of bed. “Wait for discord...”

I waited. I waited for weeks. In the meantime I practiced my new powers. No more dream messages from the ponies came. I finally decided that was a one time thing. I was super human. I could lift a boulder, walk through it, teleport around it, make it disappear, or just blow it up. I was a god among insects. But all the while I knew my true purpose. I would find the Sgono, and I would take him and his whole Organization down. I would restore the ponies to their proper place in the hearts and minds of the people. I would save Equestria. Although I still wasn’t sure how to do it. I had tried making plans and stuff, but nothing seemed to fit together. Even with my super powers, I was still me. Regardless, I decided to make a name and costume for myself, just to seal the deal so to speak. I wanted to go with the mare-do-well, but as a man, it didn’t quite fit. I thought maybe a name from the show, but none of those fit either. Then I remembered the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They were a group of young ponies who would do anything and everything to make their lives worthwhile, and that sounded good to me. I named myself the Crusader for the Rightful Acceptance of Ponies Man, or Crapman for short. It fit perfectly. I drew up a costume, but it looked too much like batman’s. In fear of copyright issues, I just went with a black hoodie and jeans. It was cheaper, too. Then, one day, as I was practicing my wallrun backflips, he came.

Discord opened up a portal from equestria and popped into being. Through my computer screen. The laptop was ruined, but at least I knew the ponies still were with me. And that’s all that mattered. He was smaller than I expected, like a miniature version of himself. He reminded me of Mulan’s Mushu in a way. He also sounded not quite like De Lancie. More gruff, less, “Q”. “Hey kid, are you the one they call Crapman?” “Why yes, yes I am.” “Good. I was expecting someone with more facial hair and less, normal-ness.” “That’s kinda rude, Discord.” I noticed he hadn’t done anything crazy or random yet. This worried me. I told him my fears. “Yeah, the princesses gave you all the magic, remember? None left to go around. Besides, I’m fine with not having enough power to change the world. It's better than some untrained young whelp gets all the goods and is the only hope for my world.”

His argument convinced me. I asked him if he had a plan, but he replied with a “no” and said something under his breath. I decided I’d tell him mine. “Hey discord, how about this. We say we know what ponies are, get the Sgono to come out here, then get him to tell us where his boss is. Then we get into some highly secure building and incapacitate hundreds of guards. By this time, the Sgono will have probably woken up and decided to kill us. I'll use the elements of Harmony with you and turn him to stone. Then we’ll hack into the Masterframe of the world’s internet hub, because that probably exists, then make a heartfelt cry to put ponies back on the air, while plugging in my brain and letting people see the good in it.” Discord was silent for a while, then he said “Yes. we’ll do that.” So we did. I started the mission with the word of power, “Eeyup”, just to make sure everything went right.

We got to the point where I plugged my brain into the masterframe when I chickened out. Discord finally got me to do it, but not before the guards burst into the room and arrested us. We were flown to a maximum security prison on mars and I had all my powers taken away by forcing me to read thousands of hateful youtube comments for a solid week. I was hopeless. Discord escaped through the screen I was looking at during that time, I presumed to tell the others what happened. I started looking back on my life. I was happy once, and then ponies happened. If they had never existed, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I started to yell angrily at the computer screen, but they took it away and said I had had enough. I was miserable. I started crying, and I started feeling very sad. Even more sad than I felt after reading My little dashie. No, wait, I hated ponies. I had to stop talking about them. I was as sad as Pinkamena whenever... dangit. I had to stop that, I thought. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking of ponies. They were in my head forever. That is until that flashy thing flashes me, I thought. My prayers were answered about a month of moping later. The Sgono, freshly un-stoned by my hatred and sadness, came into the cell with me. Again he asked “What do you know about ponies?” So I told him “A lot of things I don’t want to know.” He smiled, I think, and took out the flashy thing. I was preparing to live a normal life again. I was ready to have their memories die. But I thought of something. I remembered I hadn’t used the word ‘derp’ yet. I smiled, deciding, mostly due to curiosity, to say the last word of power I knew.

As the word “Derp” left my mouth, I could feel something very strange was about to happen. All of a sudden, a pony themed flash mob waltzed into the prison cell, all wearing brony shirts. “What the...?” was the only thing I could say. There were at least two dozen of them. All decked out to the teeth in brony paraphernalia. One was even in a full Applejack suit. They subdued the guards and freed me from my chains. Then the guy in the DJ-Pon3 glasses came up to me and said “We all had the same dream. There was this thing called a Celestia, and a Discord, and they told us to save you. They said you were our only hope for friendship and happiness. They gave us a spaceship and all these clothes, so we figured it was legit.” I was taken aback. These people were here to save me. Celestia and Discord sent them. Even though I had given up on the ponies, they still hadn’t given up on me. They were still my friends, and they still wanted to help me on my quest. They still loved me.

And I failed them. I started crying both tears of joy and sorrow, trying to get the feels out of my system. These people didn’t even know me and they flew into space to save me. My life was so important to them that they risked theirs. And I loved them for it. Yes, I had failed the ponies. Yes, I had said that I hated them. Never again. I felt a Surge of magical friendship power and prepared to teleport us all to the room of the Masterframe internet computer console interface device thing. In seconds, the deed was done. I raced over to the brain plugin thingy and plugged in my brain. I shouted into the mic “Hello people of earth! I am broadcasting from the center of the internet to every screen in the world. I’m afraid that I have grave news for you all. There once was a show called My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. Once. It was taken off the air and taken from our memories because somebody said so. Well, I also have some good news. I’m here to give it back.” With those last words, I felt the sensation of every memory I had of the show being copied onto the Master-frame's hard drive. I felt happy, because I had almost completed my mission. I felt accomplished. I let out a contented sigh. Soon the information was done uploading. I took off the brain scanner device and turned around.

The Sgono was there, standing in a pile of unconscious bronies. He drew his sword and said “You have upset the balance! You have ruined all my hard work! YOU HAVE DESTROYED ME!” I narrowed my gaze and said softly “Not yet...” He charged forward, screaming in rage. I stood my ground, feeling the power within welling up into a deadly charge. I whispered to the closely approaching Ninja “You have denied my friendship and assaulted my friends. You have given me no choice. Discord reformed. Luna repented. Sombra turned happy with all that energy he was blasted with. Why won’t you heed my warnings? Why do you pursue the path of destruction? Why do you hate love? Friendship? All good things?!” He was almost upon me, sword raised high. I muttered “I’m sorry, friend.” and unleashed the built up energies I was gathering. The blast hit him like a kamehameha and flung him backwards. he almost hit the far wall before disintegrating completely.

I slumped to the ground. It was his fault, I knew, but I couldn’t get over it. I didn’t think I ever would. But the ponies were back online, and in the minds of hasbro again. The Hub remembered its importance and cleared a time slot for it. All the voice actors were honored to have been a part of it, and quickly signed up again. Twitter was set ablaze with tweets. All was well. I could even feel my pony powers fading back to nothingness, a sign of new bronies sharing the pool. With my last bit of energy, I teleported back home. It was dark outside, probably nighttime. I went to the kitchen and ate food. The clock read that it was almost midnight. I went to sleep. My life was back to normal.

A few more years, and a few more seasons of ponies. The show kept on going, just like the fandom. Crapman was revered as a hero of heroes, and many a fan fiction was written about him. Me? I just lived my life, happy to have ponies and bronies alike as a part of it. Eventually, what the government was trying to hide with all the prior Sgono cover up stuff got out. Turns out it was the cure for cancer. The bronies raised over ten billion dollars for research, and it was a reality in a matter of weeks. I never got to talk with Discord, or Celestia, or any of the others again, but that was okay. I was happy. They were happy. Everyone was happy. Except the haters, but I figured they got some sort of happiness out of hating. So really, everything turned out fine.