Mind-Space Equestria

1.3

Princess Luna paused a moment to mentally pat herself on the back. The Elements of Harmony had finally departed and only the unexpected guests still required her attention.

‘I don’t see why we can’t go with them,’ said Scootaloo.

‘Yeah, just think we could be Cutie Mark Crusader nightmare wranglers,’ added Apple Bloom.

‘How does a pony wrangle a nightmare?’

‘I-don’t-know,’ hummed Apple Bloom.

‘Come on girls, I bet there are lots of fun things we can do around the castle,’ said Derpy.

‘Like bungee jumping off that stone bridge,’ suggested Scootaloo.

‘Princess Luna, do you need any help?’ asked Sweetie Belle, ignoring the kissy faces from Apple Bloom and Scootaloo who did the same thing when she asked that question of Miss Cheerilee.

‘Hmm. Why yes, I think putting you three to work is an excellent way of keeping you out of trouble.’

‘Work,’ groaned Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

‘You were perhaps expecting to just lie about and have fun?’

‘Well yeah,’ replied Scootaloo.

Princess Luna smiled. ‘This way please.’

Derpy and the Cutie Mark Crusaders followed Princess Luna through the archway and along the short corridor that opened out onto the floor of a vast cavern. Not quite as large as the lake filled cavern but certainly more crowded with hundreds of staircases leading to and from rock ledges that twisted their way up the cavern walls.

‘That’s a lot of stairs,’ said Derpy, who had made an agreement with staircases. She wouldn’t try to use them and they agreed not to tangle her hooves and fill her mouth with dirt. Luckily, despite the cavern walls looking like gigantic deformed sea sponges, there was still enough flight space for the agreement to stand.

‘They are misleading,’ responded Princess Luna. ‘Keep in mind that the rooms respond to your heart’s desires and where you enter may not be where you leave.’

‘So how do we find our way around?’ asked Apple Bloom.

‘Is there a map?’ asked Sweetie Belle.

‘While a magical map might be possible, I have never bothered to create one. Having a strong desire to get to a location is more than sufficient. Just don’t drag your hooves or you’ll be wandering these steps for a lifetime.’

‘That doesn’t make any sense,’ said Scootaloo.

‘We’re in a land of dreams, you expect logic?’ said Sweetie Belle.

Luna looked down thoughtfully at the unicorn filly. Such a bright child, maybe even intelligent enough to handle the dull but incredibly important task that Luna would frankly love to pawn off onto somepony else. But first, to deal with the other two fillies. ‘The Hall of Stones and the Gadget Archives are, for the moment at least through the doors on the far side of the cavern floor,’ said Princess Luna with a smile.

‘The Hall of Stones, is that where the tablets came from?’ asked Sweetie Belle.

‘Indeed, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo will be responsible for the fetching and the returning of morpheus stones to and from the archives.’

‘Sounds more like a job for Spike,’ said Scootaloo.

‘Or Twilight,’ suggested Apple Bloom as they followed Princess Luna across the rocky floor of the cavern.

‘Most of your time will be spent exploring the Gadget Archives. There are objects in there that maybe of use.’

‘CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ARCHIVE EXPLORERS YAY!’

As Luna waited for the ringing to cease, she couldn’t help but wonder where three fillies had learned to harness the Canterlot voice. ‘Yes quite,’ she responded once her headache had passed, ‘except for you Sweetie Belle. I have an even more important task waiting for you.’

‘Really?’

Princess Luna nodded as she opened the doors. ‘But first let us introduce your friends to the wonders of creative ingenuity.’

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo rolled their eyes and grinned at each other as Sweetie Belle trotted daintily after the Princess.

‘Be nice,’ said Derpy closing the doors behind them before turning to face the Princess as she stood beneath a stone archway.

‘There will be no need to enter the Hall of Stones until tomorrow afternoon so you should keep to the Gadget Archives until then,’ said Princess Luna walking over to the steps on the other side of the small foyer.

Derpy and the Cutie Mark Crusaders followed Luna down the four steps into sunken room. Apple Bloom hadn’t seen so much mess since Applejack made her collect the dirty dishes from Big Mac’s room. While there were no slices of half eaten apple pie trying to crawl across the floor, there were thousands of weaved baskets thrown all over the place. Each basket was crammed with strange seemingly unrelated objects, their only shared commonality being a cardboard tag tied to each object by a piece of string.

‘This place is messier than Rarity’s inspiration room,’ said Sweetie Belle.

‘That is unsurprising. Every contraption ever dreamed of by a pony ends up in this room. As you can imagine there is a constant influx of new inventions.’

‘Do you know what each one does Princes?’ asked Derpy.

‘I believe they arrive already tagged with instructions on their usage.’

Applebloom walked over to one of the woven baskets. Resting on top of an upside down fish bowl with a wire coat hanger taped to the back was a small transparent box with two ear buds inside.

‘Headphones, translate Fancy and other languages on the fly.’

‘Could have used them during your cutie pox episode,’ said Scootaloo digging through one of the other baskets. ‘What the hay is this supposed to be?’ It looked like an oversized eggbeater with fan blades instead of whisks.

‘Try reading the tag,’ suggested Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo poked out her tongue. ‘Spin the crank to fly like a pegasus… ooh I’m so trying this.’ Putting her hoof through the handle, Scootaloo raised the contraption above her head and started churning the crank at breakneck speed. ‘Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh this is so awesome.’

Apple Bloom watched as Scootaloo’s hindquarters rose up off the tiles.

‘If only Rainbow Dash could see me now.’

‘Yes she’d be very impressed with the eggbeater,’ said Sweetie Belle.

‘Careful Scootaloo, you’re getting awful close to the ceiling,’ said Derpy.

‘Well to be totally honest I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to steer this thing.’

Apple Bloom watched as the spinning blades drew ever closer to the rocky ceiling. Glancing over the baskets, she frantically searched for something that might help if worst came to worst.

Clang! The metal blades dug into the rock and snapped to a halt. ‘Aaarrrgggh!’

Apple Bloom yanked some tightly bound material from the basket, pulling the cord as she chucked it onto the floor. Scootaloo had never flapped her wings as hard in her life as she plummeted towards the tiles. The inflating air mattress reached plump status just as Scootaloo slammed into it.

‘Eeyah!’ squeaked Scootaloo as she bounced back into the air while the mattress started farting like a balloon. She stopped bouncing just as the deflated mattress ran out of wind.

‘I think a certain somepony has eaten one to many cupcakes,’ said Apple Bloom. Scootaloo glared at her. ‘In fact I’d say you’re getting as plumped as a om nom nom.’ Sweetie Belle stuck her hoof in Apple Bloom’s mouth before she could call Scootaloo a Gallus gallus domesticus.

‘Remember girls you are here to find contraptions that may be of use to the Elements of Harmony, not to have fun. Derpy, perhaps it would be best if you stayed here to ensure that not every invention shares the same fate as the air mattress.’

‘No worries Princess.’

‘Sweetie Belle, we shall take our leave.’

‘Hey check this out,’ said Scootaloo as Princess Luna and Sweetie Belle headed back up the steps.

‘It’s just a teddy bear.’

‘Press here to activate,’ said Apple Bloom pressing down on the bear’s stomach.

‘5… 4… 3…’

‘Uh oh,’ said Apple Bloom and Scootaloo glancing at each other.

‘2… 1…’

‘Did we make it?’ asked Twilight.

‘Well I’m pretty sure we’re not in Kansas anymore,’ replied Pinkie.

‘Bit hard to tell where we are with all this tall grass around,’ said Applejack.

‘We’re in a field, there’s a road at the top of the hill heading off towards a large city in the distance. I’ll go check it out.’

‘No!’ Rainbow screeched to a halt. ‘We should stick together until we know exactly what’s going on,’ said Twilight.

‘Clearly we’re in some sort of primitive backwater. I’m getting mud all over my freshly manicured hooves.’

‘It’s just dream dirt, nothing to get all worked up about,’ said Applejack.

‘Don’t worry Rarity. I’ll have those divine hooves of yours cleaned in a jiffy.’

‘I don’t see any water close by Spike,’ said Fluttershy glancing around the small clearing.

‘That’s okay, I’ll just use my…’

‘That won’t be necessary,’ said Rarity, ‘but ah I appreciate the offer.’

‘Enough chitchat, time to go and say hi to Bon Bon,’ said Pinkie bouncing off through the grass.

‘Pinkie!’

‘Yes Twilight?’ Pinkie asked poking her head back through the tall grass stems.

‘Hang on a sec, Spike I want you to…’

‘Stay here and keep out of sight, yeah I know.’

‘And try and find somewhere safe to hide the fire ruby.’

Spike gave Twilight a salute as Pinkie led the way through the grass forest. While Rainbow and Fluttershy flew overhead, the rest of the girls walked nose to tail behind Pinkie’s bouncing flank. The stems parted and the girls stepped out onto the road that carved its way through the plains towards the city on the eastern horizon.

The crisscross pattern of the road tiles caught Twilight’s eye and she lowered her nose to take a closer look. Each brick fitted so snuggly between its neighbours that not a weed or even a single blade of grass could fit between them. Not even the roads in Canterlot were this well constructed.

‘Ah Twilight.’

‘Hmm?’ mumbled Twilight, glancing up to see concern in AJ’s eyes.

‘You planning on coming with us?’

‘Huh?’

‘Look sugarcube, I know that having Pinkie in charge is not how we usually do things but give her a chance, she may surprise you.’

‘Oh she will definitely do that, whether the surprise will be a good one however? So eh what brought this up?’

‘Well you’re staring at the ground while everypony else is a couple of hundred metres down the road.’

‘They are? Oh my, everypony is a long way off aren’t they?’

‘Ah Twi, why were you staring at the ground?’

‘There’s something odd about this roadway. I’ve never seen one like it and yet its design reminds me of something. If I could just put my hoof on it I’m sure it would give us the clue that would bust this dream right open.’

‘Well weren’t you the one who didn’t want us to go wandering off on our own? How’s about you try thinking while walking.’

Twilight felt the blood rushing to her cheeks. She was well aware that it was vital that she paid attention to her surroundings, especially while in mind-space and yet all it took was bricks to distract her. ‘We’d umm better catch up to the others.’

Cantering alongside AJ, it didn’t take long before they were in earshot of Pinkie Pie’s attempt at a military cadence call.

‘I don’t know but I’ve been told

Princess Celestia is mighty old.’

‘Pinkie dear it is quite rude to refer to the ruler of Equestria as old,’ said Rarity.

‘Even if it is true,’ added Rainbow Dash.

‘But I’m bored. I know how about a game of I spy?’

‘Pinkie, this is a nightmare. It really isn’t a good idea to give away our position. The city we’re heading towards could be full of timber wolves, cockatrices, hydras or parasprites for all we know.’

‘Do you really think so Twilight? Ooh, that would make for a really scary nightmare wouldn’t it? What about ghost or goblins? I’ve always wanted to meet a goblin, they’re so funny looking.’

‘Pinkie I think Twilight is suggesting that we all stay quiet until we know what’s going on,’ suggested Applejack.

‘Well why didn’t she just say so? I think that going all super stealthy is an excellent…’ Rainbow Dash clamped Pinkie’s jaws shut with her hooves until the mumbling finally ceased.

With Pinkie silenced, Twilight turned back towards the city on the eastern horizon and blinked. Where only tiny specs had been moments ago now stood the tall columns that were the hallmark of pegasus architectural design. There also seemed to be a faint stench on the breeze that grew more potent as they closed in on the city. Twilight still could not come up with a name but at least there was now an explanation for the mysterious columns etched into one of the morpheus stones. What confused Twilight was that none of the ground-based cities in Equestria had used columns on such a mass scale since the pre classical era. Twilight twitched. She had been asking herself the wrong question. It wasn’t a matter of where but of when and while still unsure of the exact date Twilight had narrowed it down to the last five hundred years before the reign of Discord.

‘Anypony recognise this city?’ asked Applejack.

‘Nope. Kinda looks like Cloudsdale, without the clouds,’ replied Rainbow Dash.

‘It might be Terraville or Monacornus but I’d put all my bits on it being Adunare, the original capital of Equestria,’ replied Twilight as they drew close enough to discover the source of the scent. An open sewer pipe sticking out through the stone foundations was dumping its load into the ditch that encircled the outskirts of the city.

‘Hang on. You’re saying we’re travelled into the past?’

‘Not exactly, because this is a dream I am hoping that it just contains the ancient architecture and not the society that went with it. Ponies of the pre classical age have what we would consider rather prehistoric customs. Like for instance, did you know that…’ Twilight paused as her friends eyes glazed over. ‘What I was going to suggest is that we try sneaking into the city.’

‘Now you’re talking,’ said Dash.

‘Sneaking in is hardly going to create the right impression on the city’s inhabitants.’

‘Rarity, except for Bon Bon none of the ponies in this city exist. Therefore, they are neither potential clients nor nobles that can give your standing a leg up. Princess Luna hasn’t sent us here because it’s a fun spot for a picnic. Until we know exactly what is going on I recommend extreme caution.’

Rarity looked a little put out and Twilight wished that she didn’t have to be so blunt but with Pinkie’s carefree spirit leading the way, it would be very easy for everypony to forget that Equestria was in danger.

‘I think miss smarty pants has a point,’ said Pinkie slipping into the black tight-fitting uniform she had worn during Twilight’s raid on the Canterlot archives. ‘So how should we get into the city Twilight? Bake a cake, hide inside? Invisibility spell? Catapult? Turn us into turtles?’

‘I’d like to be a turtle,’ said Fluttershy.

‘Suction cups? Bungee jump from clouds? Fly in on Dashie’s back?’

‘Hey this butt is not a taxi,’ replied Rainbow.

‘Nightmare Night costumes? Tunnel? Jump from an airship?’

‘I’m not sure Pinkie but your suggestions are not very eh practical.’

‘I’ll just take a cloud and fly over. Less awesome ponies that can’t fly will just have to sneak in through the sewer entrance.’

‘Rainbow that’s… actually not a bad idea,’ said Twilight. ‘But you’re coming with us.’

‘NO NO NO!’ shouted Rarity, stamping her hoof on the ground. ‘I am not going to put my hooves in somepony else’s manure.’

‘Why not, it’s just dream shit?’ said Applejack with a grin.

‘That is not the point. I refuse to crawl through sewerage.’

‘No pony said anything about crawling and it’s not like there is any other way for us to get into the city,’ said Twilight.

‘Well I don’t know, perhaps we could try the front entrance,’ suggested Rarity.

‘Which, the one for pegasi, for unicorns or the one for earth ponies. There on opposite sides of the city so we’d have to split up.’

‘That doesn’t sound very Equestrian. We are still in Equestria right?’ asked Fluttershy.

‘Yes but societies don’t change their preconceptions and traditions overnight. I think we’ll find only the guards don’t care about race. Amongst the social classes of this time, the races tended to keep to themselves.’

‘While this history lesson is fascinating and all,’ said Rarity, ‘I don’t see why it’s preventing us from just walking in together?’

‘Because we’d stand out like a sore hoof.’

‘Hey I wonder if these sewers are filled with lemonade and chocolate fudge. Let’s go take a look; I’m totally in the mood for fudge.’

‘Pinkie I simply…’

‘You know Rarity,’ said Applejack, ‘disobeying an order from Just Pinkie is like disobeying a request from Princess Celestia herself. Imagine what all those fancy uptight ponies in Canterlot are going to think when they find out.’

The teeth in Rarity’s mouth grinded against each other as her venom-filled eyes met Applejack’s smug gaze. Rarity let her eyelids fall as she took a deep breath. ‘Fine, then let us get this horrible experience over with as quickly as possible shall we?’

The girls stepped carefully down towards the edge of the ditch where a light tinkle was dripping from the end of the pipe.

‘Oh my that’s quite a jump,’ said Fluttershy.

‘It is isn’t it,’ said Rarity. ‘Clearly as the most athletic, Applejack should go first.’

‘Hey!’ shouted Rainbow Dash.

‘Most athletic non-pegasus.’

‘I certainly don’t mind getting my hooves dirty.’ Especially when that dirt isn’t real, thought Applejack crouching down and launching herself over the ditch; the water splashing against her legs and belly as she landed in the pipe.

‘You okay?’ asked Twilight.

‘Yep,’ said AJ turning around, ‘although it certainly does smell in here.’

‘Like lemonade and chocolate fudge?’

‘Well sure, if that fudge had been soaking in the lemonade for a couple of years inside the festering germ factory that is my brother’s bedroom.’

‘That doesn’t sound very tasty,’ replied Pinkie Pie jumping across. ‘Pee-ew you’re right it stinks over here worse than the diapers Mr Cake likes to call special deliveries.’

Twilight was next while Dash and Fluttershy were able to fly over and hover above the muck thanks to the pipe being large enough to fit a freight train.

‘Come on Rarity, we need to get moving,’ called Twilight.

‘Yes all right I’m coming.’ Rarity struck her hoof against the earth like a charging bull and threw herself across the gap. ‘Eeegh this is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done in my life. I doubt that Lotus Blossom and Aloe will ever be able to get rid of the stench.’

Applejack was once again tempted to point out that this was a dream and that there was no smell to remove but the others had already started heading further down the pipe. ‘Come on Rarity, we don’t wanna get left behind.’

The glow from Twilight’s horn reflected off the water sloshing around their feet as the sunlight from the pipe’s entrance faded away. No pony talked, not even Pinkie Pie, as they tried to breathe in as little of the rank air as possible. It occurred to Applejack that the next time she wanted Pinkie to stop talking she could just send her to Big Mac’s room. They stepped out into a small chamber where several other pipes emptied their waste into a channel that sloped towards the exit.

‘I’m so glad to be out of that muck,’ said Rarity leaping up onto the ledge beside the channel as Twilight peered up at Rainbow.

‘Where we headed?’ asked Dash.

‘Somewhere near the umm centre of the city? That’s probably the best place to start looking for Bon Bon.’

‘Then you want that pipe.’

Twilight jumped over the channel and trotted over to the pipe Rainbow had indicated was their way out. The incline was steep but currently dry so the ascent would not be too treacherous.

‘I bet this would make an awesome waterslide,’ said Pinkie as she landed beside Twilight.

‘Nah, you’d never build up any speed on a pathetic slope like this,’ said Dash. ‘Well maybe if you could get enough ponies to go to the toilet at the same time.’

‘How can you two be so disgusting?’ asked Rarity.

‘Easily,’ replied Rainbow and Pinkie with a grin.

‘Come on guys we need to get a move on, my horn’s starting to overheat,’ said Twilight.

By the time the concrete beneath their hooves started to level out, sweat was already dribbling off Twilight’s horn and running down the sides of her forehead. ‘This the ladder?’ asked Twilight wiping away the sweat.

‘Meh close enough,’ replied Dash.

‘Oh thank goodness, now if you will excuse me,’ said Rarity calmly before scrambling up the ladder and flinging the ponyhole cover into the sky.

‘Rarity,’ whispered Twilight, ‘you can’t just, damn.’

‘Let’s go guys,’ said Pinkie.

Twilight let out a soft growl as everypony dashed up the ladder. What was the point of sneaking through the sewers if Pinkie was just going to let everypony blow their cover? Twilight’s hooves pounded the rungs of the ladder as she made her way up to the street. And there they were, all standing in the middle of the road while ponies, dressed in elaborate outfits that would put most gala dresses to shame, stared at them with open mouths and wide eyes.

‘Ooh those gowns everypony is wearing are just fabulous. It’s such a pity that I have no way of sketching out their designs.’

‘Rarity there are books filled with these very dresses back at the library but have any of you noticed that we are the only ponies who are naked?’

‘Hey I’m wearing clothes?’ said Pinkie pointing at her black bodysuit.

‘We need a place to hide.’

‘Claudicatis!’

‘That’s a funny word,’ said Pinkie with a giggle. ‘I wonder what it means?’

‘Well seeing as it came from the guards galloping towards us I’m going to go with freeze.’

Not bad Rainbow, thought Twilight. What they had said was halt. As the mares in gold plated armour surrounded them with levitated spears, Rainbow Dash prepared to buck these ponies into the second millennium of Celestia’s rule but stopped as Twilight shook her head.

‘Quae tua nomina? Quare non velatur corpora vestra appropriate? Vos es pacem perturbant.’

‘You speak funny,’ giggled Pinkie.

‘Ah Pinkie, I don’t think you should be laughing at ponies who are pointing weapons at our throats,’ said Applejack.

‘Humph, we are guests in their city and the treatment we have received so far has been abominable,’ said Rarity. ‘I would die of shame if anypony in Ponyville treated guests in such an outrageous manner.’

‘Quid lingua peregrina est hoc’

‘Vox eorum quasi Barbaris ad me,’ replied one of the guards.

‘Custodibus eas capere!’

‘Twilight you seem to know a lot about this place, any idea what they’re yapping about?’ asked Applejack as the guards muscled the girls into a tight bunch.

‘Placere expectare,’ called Twilight.

The guards glanced back at their commander who gave a short nod. ‘Loqui.’

‘Dimitte nobis. Sic civitati huic grandi impetu feroces nos. Isti furati sunt vestimenta nostra, pecuniam in cloacas fugere ac fugati,’ explained Twilight as her friends stared at her with open mouths.

‘Barbari nobis potes descriptio?’ asked the Commander.

‘Descriptio umm sic utique. Erant admissarii…’

‘Equos, ad admissuram! Equos, ad admissuram infirmi sumus. Equos, ad admissuram non potuit spoliaret filly. Ego nesciebam. Tute Barbaris. Eas capere!’

Ropes out of nowhere wrapped around Rainbow and Fluttershy, yanking Rainbow to the ground as a bubble similar to the one cast by Shining Armor cut them off from the outside world. It pressed up against their flanks forcing Twilight and the others forward as the guards marched them down the street.

‘Nice going Twilight, I think you made them madder,’ said Rainbow with a grin.

‘And what was with those funny words you were speaking?’ asked Pinkie. ‘For a moment I thought you had consumed one too many mugs of cider but then none of us have had any. So then I thought maybe the punch was spiked but we’d all drunk that and Fluttershy’s fine. She’s a total lightweight so there is no way you’re...’

‘Silentium!’

Twilight let the side of the bubble guide her as she stared down at the cobblestones. She couldn’t believe how stupid she was. How could she of all ponies have forgotten one of the most important facts of the pre classical era? So much for being a well-read student of history. While Twilight couldn’t see the ponies on the sidewalks pointing their hooves and shaking their heads at such deviant savages, she could hear the disgust present in their voices.

‘Aspice illos Barbaris.’

‘Honestatem etiam non est operimentum, in deviants.’

‘Tunc subsisto vultus. Nemo cogit, vos!’ Snapped Twilight looking up from street to stare down the enlightened ponies of Adunare.

‘Dixi silentio!’ said the commander.

Rainbow, who happened to be standing behind Twilight, watched as Twilight’s gaze returned to the cobblestones. Dash shared a glance with Applejack who was walking beside her. Twilight was showing signs that worried the pegasus. They needed Twilight to be at the top of her game. Celestia may have put Pinkie in charge but Rainbow had no doubt as to which pony would end this supposed nightmare and it wasn’t Pinkie Pie.

‘Hey Twi,’ whispered Dash, wedging her way up between Pinkie and Twilight. She didn’t respond but Rainbow noticed Twilight’s ears twitch so she knew that Twilight was listening. The problem was Dash had no idea what to say. Twilight was clearing blaming herself for whatever had gone wrong and Dash’s comment at the time probably hadn’t helped. Cheering up ponies was more of a Pinkie Pie speciality.

‘Never fear your friendly neighbourhood Rainbow Dash is here.’ Okay, so that was lame but Twilight did raise her head and Dash was certain that she had seen the corners of Twilight’s mouth starting to twitch.

‘Now that’s what I call a stadium,’ said Applejack as she looked up at the hundreds of stone archways stacked three levels high that followed the curve of an eclipse. It sat in the heart of the city on a hill made of steps.

‘Ooh my it’s big,’ said Fluttershy.

‘It’s the Proelium Amphitheatre. Inside ponies battle each other for the glory of the Empress. Historians believed that it could hold up to 50,000 ponies.’

‘Dixi SILENTIO!’

‘What did she say?’ asked Pinkie.

‘They want you to be quiet,’ whispered Twilight, causing the others to grin.

The guards turned off the main street onto a narrow road that dropped down into a channel beneath the ground. The sunlight blinked on and off as they walked under streets, the Amphitheatre growing ever closer with each flash of sky. Along the sides of the high concrete walls, ponies had graffitied numerous colourful phrases such as Imperatrix est blank ab latere and emissarius magnis pilis vere regiam.

‘Is that blood?’ asked Dash pointing at the dark red stains splattered across the roadway.

‘SILENTIUM!’

At the end of the road right beneath the steps of the Amphitheatre, iron gates stood between the ponies and the darkness beyond. The Commander walked up to the gate and placed her horn against the lock. With a click followed by a screech, the gate swung open and the guards led the girls down into the bowels of the coliseum.

The smell in the tunnel wasn’t as bad as the stench in the sewers but they still had to deal with the scent of blood and sweat floating in the dank stagnant air. The sound of dripping water and their clopping hooves echoed through the passageway with only the Commander’s horn lighting the way. The tunnel led to a medium sized chamber dimly lit by the sunlight seeping through the small rectangular barred windows found just beneath the ceiling of each cell.

‘Inside, omnibus vobis,’ barked the Commander as she opened one of the cell doors.

Pinkie led the way, bouncing into the cell while the others filed in behind her. As the door slammed shut, the bubble surrounding them shattered and the ropes slipped from Fluttershy’s and Rainbow’s flanks. Without a word, the Commander and her troops left, leaving the girls alone in their dimly lit cell.

‘Okay what the hay just happened?’

‘Well Rainbow it looks like we’ve been arrested and thrown in jail,’ replied Applejack.

‘Well duh, I meant what for?’

‘Of all the worst things that could happen, being thrown in jail is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.’

‘Aren’t you going to faint?’ asked Applejack.

‘Onto this floor? You’ve got to be kidding?’

‘It’s all my fault,’ replied Twilight. ‘I told the guards that savages had attacked us on our way here, that they stole our clothes and we were forced to flee into the sewers. When they asked me to describe the savages I accidently said stallions instead of mares.’

‘So?’ asked Rainbow.

‘At this time males are considered weak, only fit for servants and… well you know.’

‘Sex.’ A smirking Rainbow Dash shook her head at Twilight’s blush. ‘Come on Twi, you can say it. Sex, s… e… x.’

‘I like sex,’ said Pinkie.

‘Hang on a sex, I mean sec,’ said Rainbow. ‘If males are inferior, which I can totally get behind, how to you explain Star Swirl the Bearded?’

‘Rainbow Dash I am impressed.’

Dash grinned. ‘I’m awesome I know.’

‘We may know Star Swirl the Bearded as the father of the amniomorphic spell but during his life time his research was not taken seriously until Clover the Clever presented his work as her own. If it wasn’t for her diary we would never have known the truth.’

‘Well hanging out in this cell is kinda fun but we really need to go and find Bon Bon. Number one,’ said Pinkie turning to Twilight, ‘find us a way out of here.’

‘Getting out of the cell isn’t a problem, at least not for me,’ said Twilight disappearing in a flash of light and reappearing on the other side of the door.

‘Oh thank goodness, you know a spell that can open locked doors,’ said Fluttershy.

‘I know the spell but not the combination. Part of casting the lock spell requires you to think of a unique word, phrase, number or combination of the three.’

‘What if you forget the combination?’

‘Crowbar,’ suggested Twilight.

‘Why can’t you just teleport us out?’ asked Dash.

‘It’s too dangerous. It’s hard enough teleporting myself let alone somepony else.’

‘I’ve seen you teleport with Spike,’ said Pinkie.

‘It’s complicated. I have to pull apart every atom and cell in your body and then instantly reconstruct you someplace else. At best, I could forget a few hairs from your mane. At worst, I could forget one of your limbs or a vital organ. If you really want me to try.’

‘Nope I’m good,’ replied Rainbow.

‘Yep me to,’ added Applejack.

‘I think I’d prefer to just stay here,’ said Fluttershy.

‘I’ll just wait for a knight in shining armour to come and open the door.’

‘I doubt that will happen Rarity,’ said Twilight.

‘Why not? This is a dream isn’t it?’

‘It’s not your dream silly, it’s Bon Bon’s,’ said Pinkie. ‘Twilight you should try returning to Nightmare Castle. I’m sure Princess Luna will have some super-duper ideas that could help.’

‘Umm alright, I’ll try to be as quick as I can,’ said Twilight vanishing before anypony could say a word.

‘That one is Rarity taking a bath, and that one over there is Rarity smelling a flower,’ said Spike resting his head on his arms as he lay on his back and stared up at the clouds. ‘That one kinda looks like Rarity giving me a hug.’

‘Spike, I don’t think Rarity will appreciate being compared to a cloud that looks like a marshmallow.’

‘AARRGH!’ Spike leapt off the ground and drove behind a nearby rock. Cautiously poking his head up over the top of the stone, he sighed with relief when he saw Twilight standing amongst the high grass. ‘Twilight you scared me. Hey, where is everypony?’

‘Jail.’

‘Jail? Did you and Rainbow get sloshed on cider again, put lampshades on your heads and sing I’m a little tea pot outside the Mayor’s window at three in the morning?’

‘No, and that only happened once. Besides, I no longer drink cider. We need to return to Nightmare Castle.’

‘Right.’

‘Where’s the gem?’

‘The safest hiding place in the world,’ replied Spike sticking his fingers into the back of his throat.

‘Don’t tell me you...’

‘Huh-ark huh-ark glu-yark!’

‘You did.’ Twilight watched as a thick layer of baby dragon drool containing what looked like tiny specs of Captain Croc’s Animal Crunch cereal dribbled off the gem and onto the grass. ‘That is seriously the most disgusting thing you have ever done.’

‘It was the safest place I could think of.’

‘Really, a safe place huh? Your stomach, that is filled with enzymes specially designed for breaking down gems.’

‘Relax Twilight. It would take days for a beauty of this size to start dissolving.’

‘The gem is too important to risk. Do not do that again, understood?’

‘Yes ma’am,’ said Spike giving Twilight a quick salute. ‘Not sure where I am going to hide it though. I mean the only other place I can shove it is up my…’

‘SPIKE!’

‘Kidding.’

‘Can we just go,’ said Twilight.

Spike wiped the gem against the grass then held it up to Twilight.

‘Egggh, you wear it?’

Spike shrugged and clipped the fire ruby around his neck. ‘You realise you have to touch it before we can go right?’

Twilight wrinkled her nose as she reluctantly stretch out to touch what looked like the cleanest part of the gem before quickly rubbing her hoof vigorously against the grass. ‘Demos Oneiroi.’

The mural foretelling the rise of Nightmare Moon greeted Twilight as she opened her eyes. Taking a deep breath she stepped out of the circle as Spike jumped onto her flank. They had made it. The talisman had done its job. Twilight moved towards the passage leading further into the castle while wondering if there was a map about that could help her locate the Princess. Luna hadn’t exactly given them the world tour before they left.

‘Wow that’s a lot of stairs,’ said Spike as they stepped into the cavern.

‘It’s not so bad if you truly wish to end up at your destination,’ replied Princess Luna as she walked down the steps with Sweetie Belle. ‘I sense that only two of you have returned. Am I right in assuming that the sailing has not been smooth?’

‘We were thrown in jail for indecency and for not using the vernacular tongue,’ replied Twilight.

‘What language were they expecting you to speak?’ asked Sweetie Belle.

‘Old Equestrian. I am familiar with it because of my studies but the other girls have no idea what is being said.’

‘Ooh there’s something in the Gadget Archives that can help with that,’ said Sweetie Belle.

‘Indeed,’ agreed Princess Luna. ‘You may show Twilight and Spike the way if you like. You will currently find that room on the second platform. I must ask that you then return to your assignment. It is vital that it is completed on time.’

‘This way please.’

‘Currently?’ asked Twilight as Sweetie Belle led them up the stairs.

‘Oh the rooms like to move.’

Twilight tried to wrap her head around the idea as she followed the filly through the doorway into the small foyer and down the four steps to the left.

‘Welcome to Gadget Corner,’ said Apple Bloom as Twilight walked over to the counter. ‘We have gadgets to meet all your mission needs. What can we do for you today?’

‘Umm.’

‘Twilight needs those language headphones you discovered earlier,’ replied Sweetie Belle.

‘No problem, Scoot-Scootaloo.’

‘Here they are,’ responded Scootaloo tossing the earbuds up onto the counter. ’Sorry we’ve only found one pair so far.’

‘I can fix that,’ said Twilight as her horn started to glow and six pairs of earbuds appeared on the counter. ‘Do you have a small bag I can put them in?’

‘We can do better than that,’ replied Scootaloo dashing into the darkness of the archives and returning with a saddlebag. ‘According to the tag this bag is bottomless.’

‘I doubt that, I can see the bottom right there,’ replied Twilight as she placed the earbuds into the bag and attached it to her waist. ‘Don’t suppose you have a skeleton key by any chance?’

‘You mean like the one Moondancer created to open Princess Celestia’s chest in The Nobles of Midnight.’

‘Yes a key exactly like that. You know when I first read that series I asked Princess Celestia if there were any students before me but the Princess would always distract me with tales of Clover the Clever. Anyway, I didn’t know you liked the Moondancer series. I tried to get Rainbow to read them but the word political thriller put her to sleep.’

‘They’re okay, a little dull sometimes but Rarity has the entire series, all 50 of them. I assume she likes them because they’re full of gossip. I read them whenever Rarity is too busy to hang out which would explain why I’m already up to number 32, In the Darkest Hour.’

‘Oh I loved that one, that’s when you finally find out that… well I won’t spoil it for you but it totally turns the series on its head.’

‘Hey nerds.’ Huffed Scootaloo as she dragged a pony skeleton across the floor. ‘As fascinating as this conversation is, well for you, I found the key you wanted. According to the tag, stick the tail in any lock and the door will open.’

‘I don’t think that’s going to fit in the bag.’

‘You could shrink it,’ suggested Sweetie Belle.

‘I’ve got a better idea,’ said Spike jumping down and snapping off the tail. Every pony in the room cringed and unconsciously swung their tails between their legs. ‘What? I serious doubt we need the whole skeleton.’

‘I need to get back to the others,’ said Twilight. ‘Thanks for your help girls, come on Spike.’ Spike leapt up onto Twilight’s flank as she headed back out through the door. ‘What they hay?’ Twilight excepted to be standing on the second level not a platform at the very top of the carven. If she raised her hoof, Twilight was pretty sure that she could touch the ceiling.

‘Wow, I guess the rooms really do like to move,’ said Spike.

‘No kidding.’ Moving quickly but carefully, Twilight worked her way back down to the grand entrance hall. After touching the gem still hanging around Spike’s neck and uttering the words ‘Demos Oneiroi,’ they vanished from Nightmare Castle.

‘How long do you think Twilight’s going to be?’ asked Rainbow Dash.

‘About as long as a piece of string,’ replied Pinkie, ‘which can be really long or really short and you never really know until you measure it.’

‘It is twice the distance from the middle to the end,’ replied Rarity, ‘and Pinkie, Rainbow’s question was rhetorical.’

‘No it wasn’t, I actually want an answer. Hey you guys hear that?’

‘I hope it’s Twilight,’ said Fluttershy.

Twilight felt a light breeze against her cheek as she slowly opened her eyes. They had arrived back in the same clearing as before. Hopefully her friends would be able to hang on just a little while longer as she stayed behind to make sure that Spike hid the talisman in a place a lot safer and less disgusting than his internal organs.

‘Okay Spike, time to hide the gem. I’ll wait till you’re done.’

‘Don’t you trust me Twilight?’

‘Not after where you hid it last time.’

‘Hey it seemed like a good idea at the time.’

‘You sure you weren’t just hungry?’

‘No, I mean sure it did taste good but I totally did it to keep the ruby safe Twilight. You’ve got to believe me.’

‘I do Spike but let’s just find somewhere else to hide it okay.’

With a quick salute, Spike dashed off through the long grass only to return moments later while scratching his head. ‘Um there’s still no place to hide this.’

Twilight face-hoofed. ‘Just burry it and dump a rock over the top.’

‘Can do,’ replied Spike stabbing his claws into the earth and sending the dirt flying.

Rarity wasn’t so sure that it was Twilight heading their way. After all, if it was why didn’t she simply teleport straight into the chamber.

‘Madam Posey vult barbarae assumeretur ad harenaeque.’

‘Non saltem ut rursus heh-heh.’

‘That doesn’t sound like Twilight,’ said Applejack.

‘Ooh maybe Twilight’s letting a couple of the voices in her head speak,’ said Pinkie.

‘Twilight doesn’t have voices in her head.’

‘She doesn’t? I thought everypony did.’

‘Anypony know what they said?’ asked Applejack giving Pinkie a strange look.

‘Nope,’ replied Dash.

‘Oh no, what if they ask us something?’

‘Don’t worry Flutters, I know charades.’

Fluttershy wasn’t sure that Pinkie’s ability to wave her hoofs about was going to be very useful, but as she did not wish to hurt her friend’s feelings, Fluttershy kept those thoughts to herself.

‘Quick, give me three of your feathers,’ said Dash.

‘Why?’

‘Because I need them and you don’t use yours. Quick.’

Fluttershy had no idea why her oldest friend needed her feathers but she plucked three of them from her wing just the same.

‘On the floor.’

Fluttershy watched as her feathers floated to the cell floor and Rainbow quickly arranged them into an arrow as a bright light emerged from the tunnel and flooded the chamber. Fluttershy squeaked and dropped trembling to the ground.

‘Darling get up off the floor, it’s disgusting,’ said Rarity.

‘Vobis sortem, stare claudere!’ shouted one of the guards.

‘Anypony get that?’ asked Applejack.

‘They want us to sing a song,’ replied Pinkie.

‘Ah no,’ replied Applejack clamping Pinkie’s mouth shut, ‘they don’t.’

‘EGO DICENDI TERMINO SIMUL!’

The girls jumped and huddled close to one another, which earned them a smile from the guard. One guard opened the cage door while the other cast the spell to reform the bubble.

‘Wonder where they’re taking us this time?’ asked Dash.

‘Hopefully to a judge, the condition of our cell is simply unacceptable,’ replied Rarity.

‘And how do you expect the judge to understand us without Twilight?’ asked Applejack.

‘Silentium!’

The guards marched them to the end of the chamber and down a tunnel that led to a small circular room. The only object inside was a cage attached to thick chains that disappeared up through the large shaft in the ceiling.

‘I certainly hope that they are not planning on putting us in there. That cage is simply way too small,’ said Rarity.

‘With those spears of theirs they can put us wherever they like,’ replied Applejack.

‘If we could break this bubble I could totally take them,’ said Rainbow dancing like a boxer.

The cage door screeched open and the bubble forced the girls inside only to burst as the door slammed shut behind them. Within the walls, the winches groaned as they started to wrap the chains around them, lifting the cage up towards the shaft.

Spike patted the ground with his tail, smoothing out the lumps before dumping the large rock on top to mark the location of the talisman. ‘All done.’

‘Good, now I’ve got to get back to the girls. I hope they’re still all right.’

‘I know how to dig a hole, you didn’t need to supervise.’

‘I know Spike. I just wanted to be sure of the gem’s location, just in case you got dragon-napped or something.’

‘Dragon-napped?’

‘Hey, you’re the one who wanted to come along. If you can’t handle the danger.’

‘Danger?’

‘Goodbye Spike,’ said Twilight disappearing into the long grass. Crouching down, Twilight watched Spike as his eyes darted back and forth. Noticing a large stick poking up from amongst the grass on the far side of the clearing, Twilight’s horn started to glow. She simply couldn’t resist. Snap!

‘Aarrgh!’

Twilight let out a soft giggle before disappearing in a flash of light. It took less than a second for Twilight to realise that waiting for Spike to bury the gem was a mistake. The cage was empty and there was no sign of Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy however, had left a couple of feathers on the ground in the shape of an arrow.

‘Vale, vale, vale, vale paulo barbaris, dont conantur occursum vestri vos mortes cum honore.’

Twilight skidded to a halt, just out of sight of the guards watching the cage as it disappeared up the shaft. From the sounds of it the the girls were on their way to meet the skeleton pony dressed in black.

‘Welcome back Number One,’ said Pinkie with a giggle as Twilight teleported onto her flank.

‘Not much room in here is there?’

‘So you found us then,’ said Dash.

‘Only thanks to Fluttershy’s quick thinking.’

‘Actually it was all Rainbow’s doing,’ replied Fluttershy.

‘So what’s in the saddlebag?’ asked Pinkie. ‘Candy?’

‘No,’ replied Twilight opening the bag, ‘but put these in your ears. Apparently they will translate what everypony is saying.’ As the other girls popped in their earbuds, Twilight thought that it might also be a good idea if she did the same. Bon Bon might chose to communicate in Fancy, the original vernacular tongue of earth ponies. The only Fancy Twilight knew was ferme ta bouche, a phrase Twilight couldn’t help but memorize from the many instances of Cadance saying it to her brother when Cadance caught him staring at her.

‘Do these things work?’ asked Dash.

‘Dixeritis mihi,’ replied Twilight.

‘Yep, they work.’

Their cage shuddered to a halt. Through the bars and passed the end of the tunnel the sunlight tormented them until the gate rose up and released them.

‘I’m outta…’

‘Hang on their Speedy Gonzales,’ Applejack mumbled through the hairs of Rainbow’s tail trapped between her teeth.

‘We need to be careful Dash, I heard the guards telling you guys to greet death with honour. I suspect this tunnel leads to the arena, a place where gladiators fight, sometimes to the death.’

‘How barbaric,’ replied Rarity.

‘Well we can’t just stay in here,’ said Rainbow yanking her tail free. ‘This is our shot at freedom, I say we take it.’

‘Dashie’s right. Bon Bon could be out there waiting for us,’ said Pinkie.

Rainbow Dash shot out of the tunnel to greet the beautiful blue expanse of freedom. ‘What the hay?’ Dash skidded to a halt and gave the almost transparent barrier a tap. Damn, nopony would be getting out this way, although now that Dash thought about it she wasn’t all that surprised.

Rainbow took a quick glance around the stadium. There were no ponies up in the stands, no guards either. On the far side of the arena, Dash could see two ponies emerging from a tunnel. One in a seriously froufrou outfit while the mare next to her wore gold plated armour. On her helmet was an upside-down toilet brush just like the one Dash had worn in the pageant… hang on was that, ‘Hey guys I think I found Bon Bon.’

‘Finally, we can get this dream over with and I can go and have a nice long hot bath.’

‘Sounds like fun. Can I have a nice long hot bath too? Of course we have to find out why Bon Bon is upset first,’ said Pinkie.

As the two mares approached Bon Bon’s face turned from the blank stare of a warrior to one where her open mouth dangled in the breeze. These were not just any savages, they shared a likeness of ponies she knew. So far everypony here, excluding the Empress of course, Bon Bon had never seen before.

Twilight was a little surprised that Pinkie Pie had yet to call out a greeting. Had Pinkie realised that silence was called for until Bon Bon made the first move. Pinkie turned to Twilight and smiled, leaving Twilight feeling, well a little confused. Twilight decided to focus on the earth pony beside Bon Bon. The mare’s dress was rather elaborate, even for this period and as their eyes met; Twilight couldn’t help but feel a little put off by the almost green glow of her irises.

‘Bon Bon, I really do wish you would reconsider your entry into tomorrow’s tournament. You are simply not ready.’

‘Madam Posey I…’ stuttered Bon Bon as she continued to stare at Twilight and the other savages before her.

‘If these simple savages are upsetting you, how will you be able to stand up to the gladiators? If you fight tomorrow, you will die. Your death will be for nothing, Empress Lyra will never know you existed. I beg you to wait Bon Bon, heed my words of wisdom.’

‘No! I can do this. These savages will die.’

‘Just try it candy flank. I can take you with one hoof tied behind my back,’ snapped Rainbow Dash.

‘We’ve come to help you Bon Bon,’ said Twilight. ‘We are not the savages you think we are. You have to believe me.’

‘You may look like ponies from my own time but only I know of the portal and you speak Old Equestrian. You must be savages. You are savages and I will show Empress Lyra that I am worthy of her.’

‘But you are not ready Bon Bon and you may never be,’ said Madam Posey.

‘I may only be a simple earth pony who makes candy for a living but if I must fight to show the Empress that I am worthy of her attention then fight I will,’ said Bon Bon.

‘I don’t know what she is going on about,’ said Rarity. ‘With the amount of time those two spend together it’s rather obvious that Lyra, I’m sorry Empress Lyra, already considers her more than worthy.’

‘Silence savages! Dust was your cradle and dust is your grave,’ said Bon Bon striking the earth with her hoof.

‘Pinkie what do we do?’ asked Applejack.

‘Twilight?’

‘Fighting stance girls.’ The girls formed a tight circle while Rainbow Dash hovered overhead. Bon Bon let out a blood-curdling scream then launched herself at the savages that stood in her way.