Chapters WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE AND ADULT THEMES
Zip! I closed up my backpack as I walked out the door...They were out drunk again. I had to leave. Leave before they could find me. Leave before they could drag me back. Leave before anyone tried to convince me otherwise. Just leave the filthy streets of New York City.
"Where are you going?" My best friend, Wave, asked me.
"I don't know." I replied. "But I'm leaving."
He followed me. I knew that there would be no way I was going alone. It was good to have him beside me.
They had never loved me...Never wanted me. They were always trying to get me to leave. They would be happy now. They'd come home drunk from a night of partying, noses dusted with cocaine. With the mingled scent of different smokes stenching whatever clothes they had left on. Lipstick and glitter covering the both of them. How I hated it. It was disgusting. All they had ever wanted was to have a good time. They wouldn't care if the roof smothered over me. They wouldn't take a single moment to ask themselves, "Where's Blaze?"
I finally had the chance to get away. I had been saving up for this for a long time. I would survive. I flipped my hair out my eyes. Wave stared at me dreamily. "What is it, Wave? You're acting really weird. If you're gay, just say it."
"Blaze, we've been through this. I'm not gay." Wave rolled his eyes. "You look kind of like a model."
I raised an eyebrow. He was going to be dramatic, I could tell.
"That silky black hair, those icy blue eyes, the pale skin." he shivered. "If I were a girl, I'd die."
Yes, he was definitely being dramatic again.
We climbed onto Bus 48. I payed the man a $20 bill. He was about to protest when I argued, "Keep the change. and the next time you have a crappy day, just remember the teenager that gave you hope."
Wave and I took a seat somewhere in the middle left of the bus. Only a few other people were on board.
We sat together, me with headphones in my ears, Wave scribbling away in his sketchpad. His green eyes were bright with concentration. He eventually fell asleep against my shoulder, his sketchpad sliding onto my lap. He drew the skyline of New York City. Eventually, I fell asleep, too.
"End of the line." the bus driver grunted. He was a plump old man with gray hair that was beginning to whiten. His dark grey eyes were behind a pair of round glasses. I nudged Blaze, who woke up immediately. The driver looked at me oddly. We stepped off, onto the dusty road. How the fuck had we gotten so far away?
"Hey, kid," said the bus driver, "Keep this safe." He threw a wooden box at me. I caught with both of my hands. "Hey!" I yelled. "What's the big idea?!"
But he only drove off.
"Fucking weirdo." I muttered. My arm absentmindedly reached toward my stomach. Just under my shirt was the tattoo I had gotten three years ago. A mistake made by a troubled fifteen-year-old. I shoved the wooden box into my backpack, beginning to walk.
Wave and I walked for hours. The fog hung in the air like a thick curtain. It seemed to press down on my shoulders. We hadn't found anything until about three in the morning. I used my emotions as a drive. As for Wave, well, he never seemed to run out of energy.
We found a barn. We slept there for the night. Wave fell asleep on top of a bunch of hay. I let the moonlight wash over me until I fell asleep at the peak of dawn.
"Blaze," Wave whined. I didn't move. "Blaze..." he repeated. I still didn't stir. "BLAZE!" he yelled. I didn't want to get up.
He seemed to decide that this was the perfect time to sing "Home On the Range" in a loud, extremely off-key voice.
"Jesus Christ, Wave! What the fuck is it?!" I roared.
"I'm hungry." he said innocently. As though he hadn't just been screaming in my face.
"Here," I said, tossing him a muffin.
"Goodie goodie gumdrops!" he squealed, scarfing it down. That kid had the appetite of a bear.
I pulled out an apple, taking a bite out of it. I also got out a bottle of water.
"NO FREAKING FAIR!" Wave tackled me. "I WANT SOME TOO!"
I handed him a bottle and he sat down quietly.
"We're leaving once you're done." I told him.
"Why?" he asked, his mouth slightly dripping water.
"This place doesn't feel like home."
Then it happened, hours later, when we were hiking up a hill. "HOLY FUCKING CRAP!" I yelled. A church had caught fire. A middle-aged man was watching with a young woman, and a crowd of kids.
"Richard, I'm worried. Some of the children are missing."
"Nonsense, Pauline." Richard reassured her. "I'm sure they're just wandering around."
I never could figure out what possessed me at that moment. Because upon hearing that, I dropped my backpack and ran right into the church. Smoke began to choke me. I tried to stare through the walls of flame. Ash rained down like black snowflakes, never dissolving. The smoke's acrid stench burned my throat. The smell crossed between rotting garbage and a truckload of burnt toast. I heard muffled crying. I followed the sound, trying to not let the fire consume me. I found the kids, covered in ash. Only one wasn't crying. He had brown hair and green eyes. He was trying to calm the others.
"Superman has come." I announced, trying to be witty. I told Wave to go outside and catch the kids. I gently plopped them outside the window, Wave catching them. I managed to escape just before the church collapsed onto itself, curling into a pile of blackened dust.
I limped outside. A piece of wood had fallen on my leg before I made it out. Lucky, it had only burned the ankle of my jeans. But it still hurt. "Let's go." I muttered to Wave. We left before anyone could come by to thank us, or do anything else that might be stupid or embarrassing.
Fog hung thickly in the air. There was a well not too far away from the site. Still coughing, I pulled up the bucket, dipping in my water bottle. Just as I was about to turn around, the fog seemed to push me down into the well. As I was falling, my only thought was, SINCE WHEN ARE WELLS SO FUCKING DEEP?!
I turned around in bed...So soft. Wait a minute, bed? Either this is a dream or I'm fucking dead. I moved my leg slightly. 'Nope, I'm alive...But where the hell am I?' I thought to myself. My ears perked up, listening for sounds. Hearing silence, I slowly sat up. And guess what? There were fucking ponies surrounding me. "What the hell is going on?" I said, swinging my legs over to the other side of the bed. They all stared, gaping. I guess humans weren't exactly common.
The door burst open. "Is it awake yet? Is it awake yet? Is it-EEEEEEP! It's awake!" a pink pony squealed, hopping on top of me. "Hi there, I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name? What ARE you anyway? Where did you come from? Do you eat ponies?" the pink pony, apparently Pinkie Pie, asked in a rush.
"Pinkie, get OFF of it." said a rather annoyed voice, pulling Pinkie Pie off of me.
"Sorry," Pinkie apologized bashfully. "You can call me Pinkie." said Pinkie.
"Maybe we should introduce ourselves...I'm Twilight Sparkle." said a purple unicorn. She sounded highly confused.
"I'm Rarity...It's a-er, pleasure to meet you, Darling." said a white unicorn.
"Rainbow Dash." grunted a blue pegasus, while glaring right at me.
"Howdy, name's Applejack." said an orange pony.
"I'm Fluttershy." a yellow pegasus said shyly.
I looked at them for a moment, before finally saying "Hi everyone...I can see that this is an awkward situation...So I'll try to explain. I don't know where I am, how to get home, or how I got here. Oh, my name is Blaze by the way." I added, trying to sound friendly.
The purple unicorn-I mean Twilight Sparkle, looked taken aback and smiled at me. "I think it would be best if Applejack explained." Twilight Sparkle said.
"Well, I was bucking an apple tree near the front of the orchard when I saw something odd up by the road. So I galloped over, and I saw you fall out of the sky. I called for Big Macintosh, he hauled ya over here. Then I called Twilight and the others to check you out." Applejack explained in a southern accent.
I was trying to make sense of this. Big Macintosh? "Bucking" apple trees? Falling out of the sky? "I fell down a well before waking up here." I said.
"Well, we healed you. So what the heck are you?" Rainbow Dash snapped.
"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity scolded. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
"I'm human." I said.
"What's a human?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"Uhh...Well, we have our own world...And, well, we walk on two legs... I really don't know how to explain." I shrugged. "I guess you could say that I'm a good example of a human." I added.
"Do they ALL look like you?" Pinkie asked.
"No, they're kind of like you guys. We all have different eyes, different hair, different colors, and different interests." I explained.
"Do you have cutie marks?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
"Cutie marks?" I asked blankly.
"You know, a cutie mark? Are all 'humans' this dumb?" said Rainbow Dash. I rolled my eyes.
"This is a cutie mark. Everypony has their own, depending on what they're good at." Twilight said, showing me her cutie mark; a pink starburst.
"How do you get these cutie marks?" I queried.
"They appear once you discover your talent." said Rarity.
"Well, humans don't get cutie marks, but we have something called 'tattoos'. They get drawn on you by a tattoo artist with permanent ink." I said.
"It hurts a lot when you first get it..." I said.
"Spike, take this down." said Twilight Sparkle. A baby dragon appeared with parchment and a quill. Spike wrote:
"Dear Princess Celestia,
A human has come to Ponyville...By mistake. We want to know how to get him home, or at least know for sure how he got here. Please let us know what we should do.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle"
Spike breathed green fire, and the letter disappeared. Soon enough, he burped up a reply. Twilight read it aloud. "My dearest Twilight Sparkle, I suggest that you bring this human to Canterlot as soon as you possibly can. Sincerely, Princess Celestia."Twilight Sparkle read aloud. "Well, I guess we're going to Canterlot."
Rarity and Twilight hid me with their magic on the train. It was weird. And uncomfortable. I was still trying to comprehend how I ended up in a world filled with talking magical ponies. From what they tell me, Princess Celestia is their immortal God and ruler. Twilight Sparkle, the purple one, interrogated me about humans and everything they did. She concluded the investigation with a thoughtful look.
Rarity had insisted on making me a suit. Naturally, this was the first time she saw a human, so she was really excited. She made measurements and everything. The strangest part was that she made the suit perfectly- it fit my human body, and the suit itself was extraordinary. It felt like wearing silk pajamas, even though it was cotton. I tried to pay her, but she dismissed the idea with a wave of her hoof.
The blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash, hates me. She had said nothing to me at all, only glared. The orange pony, Applejack, was kind to me, but everything was awkward all the same. The yellow pegasus, Fluttershy was too scared to say or do anything, and had been shivering and hiding since we got on the train. And Pinkie Pie? She wouldn't shut up. Her loud sing-song voice filled the awkward silence.
"Hey, are we there yet? You know, I love visiting the castle! Ooh, do you think they'll have refreshments?! Like cupcakes. Ooh, I really love cupcakes. I can't pick a favorite! Chocolate, cherry, vanilla, red velvet, chocolate chip, apple, blueberry, caramel,custard cream, pumpkin..." she babbled on.
I sighed in relief as the train slowed to a stop. I followed them up the palace steps. It was quite the journey. We entered a huge hall, it seemed to be a throne room. A tall, slim unicorn with wings stood royally at the end of it.
"Hello," she greeted us, her majestic purple eyes emitting a soft glow.
The others bowed. I was late, but I followed suit. I heard Dashie snort. Yes, she is to be called "Dashie" now. Hehehe.
"Oh my," she mumbled, drinking in the sight of me. She smiled ever so softly. "A human."
Princess Celestia welcomed me to Equestria. She even offered me a house. All to myself. I couldn't believe my luck. In addition to that, I was still getting used to the colorful universe. I hadn't even been here half a day, and they were all asking me to stay. Nobody had ever done that before. I was always asked to leave, never to stay. It was the best feeling in the world.
"...talk alone?" I caught the words. "Huh?" I muttered.
Princess Celestia smiled. "Would it be all right if you and I talked alone, Blaze?"
"Oh. Y-yeah, of course." I could feel the ponies' stares burning onto me before they left.
It was silent for a few moments. "I can't imagine how you're feeling." Princess Celestia broke the silence. "It must be overwhelming."
I silently agreed. She came towards me. Her hoof lifted up my chin. Her royal eyes bore into mine. "I give you this advice: Be strong, Blaze."
"Yes, your Majesty." I mumbled. Her appearance itself was far too perfect for my mind to remember exactly. She towered over me, with gentle authority. Her multi-color hair swirled about her, engulfing anyone near her in a cloud of the scent of spring air. Her long lashes left slight shadows over her soft purple eyes.
She bade my farewell, and I was off with the others. And then it was awkward all over again. The others stared at me curiously. I was impressed with how all of us were keeping it together. No one said a word on the ride back to Ponyville.
"Would you like a tour?" Pinkie asked sweetly.
I was dazzled. Why were these ponies being so kind? Surely this world wasn't THAT different from the human universe. I was suspicious.
"I appreciate it, but no thanks, Pinkie Pie." I declined. The other ponies looked at me kind of funny, but I ignored it.
We arrived back at the village. I picked up my bag from Sweet Apple Acres and left to find the address that was left to me. It was nearly on the other side of Ponyville; on the other side of the Everfree Forest. I didn't mind walking. Of course they would give him something on the town's outskirts; he was a different species, after all. Wave was beside him.
"Wow," said Wave, "That's some house."
It had the same style as most Ponyville houses. It was tall, with a narrow roof. The design was the same, but the materials seemed to be extremely different. Instead of the yellow hay that constructed the roof, there was a poofy, green, moss-like material. Instead of pink lining, it was green. The house was a brown that matched the trees. It would camouflage well.
Blaze had decided that he might as well unpack. He zipped his back pack open to find the small box that the bus driver had thrown at him. He tried to open it. It was locked. The driver hadn't even given him a key to go with it. Blaze decided he'd just lay in bed until his brain decided it was time to sleep.
Blaze sighed. Was this some sort of punishment for running away from home? Did he just pass out? How the hell was he even supposed to get home? He closed his eyes, remembering the conversation with the princess.
"How do you think he got here, your Highness?" Twilight asked the princess.
"It is a tricky thing," the princess sighed, "But I think that my old friends, Fate and Destiny were involved in this."
"Fate and Destiny?" Applejack queried.
"Yes, they are both ancient and powerful spirits, like Discord. They are a pair of twins that are very wise. They enjoy mischief."
"Why would they do something so... Rash?" Rarity wondered, more to herself than anyone else.
The princess had smiled. "They are never rash. They had probably thought about bringing Blaze here long before he was even born. They were the first to set the world in motion; they are older than time itself."
The goddess frowned. "I only wish I knew of their intentions."
Rainbow Dash groaned. He had just picked the perfect time to bother her. That weird hue-mane was already there to worry her. She angrily eyed the light blue pegasus. He was slightly taller than her, with a tousled navy blue mane and deep orange eyes that stared back at her uneasily through round spectacles. Freckles dusted his nose, and orange comets streaked across his flanks.
"What do you want, Comet?" Rainbow Dash sighed, rolling her eyes.
"I can't visit my favorite cousin?" he chuckled.
"I'm your only cousin, Comet." Rainbow Dash replied.
"I'm doing some work in Sweet Apple Acres and thought I'd stop by." Comet said kindly.
"You came all the way from Fillydelphia just to do a bit of work here?" Rainbow Dash asked with a hint of curiosity.
"Actually..." Comet said nervously. "I might settle down here."
"What?" Rainbow Dash burst out. "You're NOT staying in my house!"
"I figured you wouldn't let me stay, so I'm renting a house in town." said Comet.
"Fine." spat Rainbow. "Just try to stay away from me and my friends." She then slammed the door in his face.
Comet sighed. Rainbow Dash was younger than him by two years. The two had never gotten along, but it wasn't like Comet hadn't tried. Rainbow Dash just couldn't tolerate him. She was aerodynamic, athletic, tough. He was nerdy, clumsy, and shy. His cutie mark, a streaking comet, represented not his speed, but his interest in the sky. He was a scientist. He had come to Ponyville to study the apple trees on Sweet Apple Acres; a favor for Big Macintosh. The two were good friends.
Comet slowly flew over the bright, sunny town. Below him, ponies of all colors, types, and sizes roamed. He smiled. This was his favorite part of Ponyville. He flapped his wings harder, feeling the breeze on his face. A short time later, he slowed, approaching the familiar farm.
"Hello, Big Mac. How are you?" Comet smiled, greeting his old friend. He had to look up to see his friend.
"I'm doin' fine." he grunted. "But Applejack has her work cut out for her."
Big Mac turned and began to walk ahead, taking the lead. "How so?" Comet asked.
"She thinks she can harvest all of them apples before the season's over." Big Mac shook his head.
"How's your injury?" Comet asked, wishing to change the subject.
"It's awright." Big Mac drawled.
Comet chuckled. "I heard it was the result of your rare clumsiness."
Big Mac's blush showed darkly on his bright red coat. "Now, where'd you hear that?"
"A little bird told me." said Comet, watching a few blue birds fly overhead.
"Hmph." Big mac muttered, still blushing a deep red.
A shadow flickered. Comet's eyes darted to the spot, but nothing was there.
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"You need help!" Twilight screeched at Applejack.
"Hard work never killed anyone... yet." A voice rang through the orchard.
Twilight turned to see Blaze, standing under an apple tree, arms crossed. His expression was unreadable. Twilight glared suspiciously. "How long were you standing there?"
"Actually, I've been here the whole day. It gets boring sitting around, you know." he drawled boredly.
"You could've helped Applejack." Twilight spat.
"I didn't know where she was."
"You could've asked." Twilight retorted.
"You two-" Applejack said dizzily. "You two stop it."
Blaze shrugged. "I'm not the only visitor."
"What?" Applejack and Twilight asked in unison, Twilight from surprise and Applejack because she couldn't hear.
"There's a blue pegasus with your brother." he said more loudly. He then vanished through the trees.
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"Where have you been?" Wave asked as Blaze entered the cottage. Wave had been drawing a flower placed in front of him.
"Nowhere." Blaze lowered his gaze to the floorboards.
Blaze felt betrayed. Just the other day, he was so glad that the ponies had welcomed him... And now, he was sure they hated him. That was, of course, his fault. He never did say the right things. Besides, to them, he was a bizarre creature. Nothing he ever said came out right.
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Comet strolled near Fluttershy's cottage with his clipboard. He had been asked to help with the bunny census. Fluttershy's well-trained animals had spiked his interest, and he decided that he might study them, along with the apple trees. Now he just had to ask Fluttershy. When, suddenly, a stampede of bunnies found their way around him, Applejack and Winona chasing after them.
"What in Equestria-" he began, only to have Fluttershy zoom past him. He then followed, flapping his wings.
"Fluttershy?" he said, once he caught up. the bunnies were devouring the plants of Ponyville.
She immediately squeaked, flinching.
"Fluttershy? It's only me." he said kindly, reaching out a hoof.
She smiled nervously. "Oh, Comet. I don't know what to do."
Comet thought a moment, adjusting his glasses. "Hmm...Well..." An idea sparked. "I'll be right back." He flew, streaking across the sky like a blue comet.
He returned, tipping over a large crate of carrots and blowing a whistle that nopony could hear. The bunnies gathered, munching on the carrots.
"Thank you very much!" Fluttershy smiled.
"It was nothing." Comet turned his head so that she wouldn't catch his blush.
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"Why are we doing this again?" Wave question Blaze, sounding amused.
"Shut up." Blaze muttered, shaking the apple tree. Apple fell, tumbling perfectly into the barrel below.
Off in the distance were the other ponies helping Applejack. Blaze knew they couldn't see him.
Blaze shook another tree, harder this time, and the crate caught the apples perfectly. Wave snuck the apples away, to a spot where they would be found. Blaze wiped the sweat off of his forehead, looking into the distance. He hoped that he could fix things someday.
Thump. Thump.
Blaze groaned incomprehensibly in his sleep. "Errghrfrg..."
Thump.
"Whaa?" he sat up drowsily. Someone was knocking on his door. Shocked, he lurched to the door in his sleepy state.
Pinkie Pie stood at the door, looking surprised. "Did you just wake up?"
Blaze nodded. He glanced, squinting, at the clock on his wall. It was about noon.
"Sorry to wake you..." Pinkie apologized, motioning to leave. "Should I go?"
"No." Blaze found himself saying. "Come on in."
"Okay. Thanks." she said, stepping into his house.
Blaze put a pot of milk on the stove, preparing hot chocolate.
"So..uh...Not to be rude, Pinkie, but... Why are you here?"
Pinkie sighed. "I needed to talk to someone."
Blaze noted that the milk was already heated. Physics just didn't work in this world. "What's on your mind?" he asked as the pink mare sat at his kitchen table.
He placed a cup of hot chocolate in front of her. She took a deep breath, ranting on Rainbow Dash's friend, Gilda. She paused, sipping the hot cocoa.
"So," Blaze began calmly. "What you're saying is, she's a bitch."
Pinkie let out a big gasp that sounded scarily like a balloon deflating. "Blaze! Why, I would never say that about anypony!"
Blaze tried to not roll his eyes.
"But.." Pinkie bit her lip. "She popped my balloons and told me to buzz off. I swear, I've never met a griffin so mean." She then added,
"Actually, I've never met a griffin at all, but if I had, she wouldn't have been as mean and grumpy as Gilda."
"Pinkie..." Blaze began. There were deep purple shadows under his eyes as he spoke. They disfigured his young face, making him look older. He had friends before. Never good ones, but friends, nonetheless. He knew that these types of things were often misunderstandings. "I think you're just jealous."
"JEALOUS!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Jealous? Me?!"
"Yes, Pinkie. You just want Rainbow all to yourself. Maybe you need an attitude check or something." he stated, sipping his hot drink.
"Me? Attitude check?!" She then let out a little shriek and stomped out of the house.
"Blaze?" a voice called from upstairs. "Everything okay?"
Blaze sighed. "Peachy."
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"Pinkie Pie?" Comet said confusedly. "What are you doing?"
Pinkie had been hiding under an umbrella, drinking a milkshake, when Rainbow Dash and Gilda were flying over.
"Shhh." she hissed.
"Pinkie Pie," said Comet, slightly amused, "They can't hear or see you."
"SHHHHHHH." she hissed more loudly, causing comet to chuckle and leave her be.
He noticed Fluttershy leading a line of ducks across the square.
"Hey," Gilda spat, "I'm walkin' here!"
"Oh, um, sorry-" Fluttershy began to apologize,
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Gilda mimicked in a high-pitched voice. "Scram!" She then roared vicously in Fluttershy's face, causing her to run away, crying.
"Ugh," Gilda complained loudly, "I'm so tired of all these lame ponies in town."
"H-hey." a shaky, yet decided voice came her way. It was Comet.
"You apologize to Fluttershy." Comet said, his orange eyes sending a glare her way behind his glasses.
Gilda scoffed. "Who are you, runt?"
"It doesn't matter." he responded firmly. "What matters is that you apologize to Fluttershy this instant."
"Why would I do that?" she drawled carelessly.
"Because you had no right to bully her."
Something clicked in Gilda's head. "Now I see it. You're Dash's cousin, aren't you?"
"I-" Comet began.
"Save it." Gilda said, waving her claw. "I'll let you off this time, Comatose."
"It's Comet." he said, raising his voice. "And you don't run this place, Gilda." his stare was icy.
Gilda merely scoffed and walked away.
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Blaze didn't like staying at home. He preferred hearing things in the shadows of town. No one had noticed him yet. He had heard that Pinkie was throwing a party. Everyone in town had been invited. Except him. Of course, he hadn't expected to be thrown into the midst of their lives, partying, socializing. But no one had even bothered speaking to him about it. It had happened before; he expected it, but he still felt hurt, somehow.
He didn't like parties, anyway, he reminded himself. Partying is what his foster parents did. Along with drinking and drug doing. That was why he ran away. And, somehow, ended up here. But, he asked himself, why run away? You could've lived on your own. Moved out. He only scoffed at that. He would never be able to manage his own life. He would only end up like his foster parents. But what about before them? the voice echoed in his head. "No." Blaze found himself saying aloud. That was something he did not want to think about. It was just too painful.
There was a new unicorn in town.
"Which one of you can out-do the Great and Powerful Trixie?" the blue unicorn smirked. "anypony? Or will Trixie have to be Ponyville's best?"
Spike begged Twilight to show up Trixie, but Twilight refused.
"That's it," said AJ, "I'll show her who's boss." Applejack then did a perfectly done lasso routine, flicking the rope with a flourish. Trixie countered this by tying up Applejack and stuffing an apple into her mouth. The other ponies did amazing tricks as well, being outdone each time by Trixie. After Rarity's conundrum, Comet spoke out.
"I think," he began, "That it is time for a little test of intelligence. Can anypony give me a difficult riddle or problem to solve?" He stood onstage, forcing his confidence.
An old professor stepped forward. "Every month, a filly gets allowance. Assume that last year she had no money, and kept it up to now. Then she spends half of her money on crayons, then one third of the remaining money on games, and then one fourth of the remaining money on toys. After she bought all of that, she had seven thousand seven hundred seventy-seven bits left. Assuming she only gets money by allowance, how much money does she earn every month?"
Comet stood for a few moments, thinking. Trixie snorted.
"She earns two thousand two hundred twenty two bits a month." said Comet, in full confidence.
"That is correct." A few ponies cheered.
The professor than turned to Trixie, reading off of a scroll. "You have two blocks of clay in cube form and the edges are 10 cm. How many spheres with a radius of 5 cm can you make with that amount of clay? "
For a minute, Trixie was dumbstruck. Then she conjured a magic eight ball.
"What?" Comet blurted out.
Trixie shook the ball. "You can make three spheres." She then showed the crowd the "3" imprinted on the ball.
"That is also correct." said the professor. The crowd groaned.
Trixie smirked at the blue pegasus. "I'm clearly the sharpest knife in the drawer."
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Thump. Thump thump thump. Thump.
"Why do these ponies insist on knocking on my door?" Blaze sighed. He pulled it open. It was Spike.
"Blaze, right?" Spike asked.
"Yeah. You're Spike, huh?" Blaze responded. Spike nodded.
"Well," said Blaze, "Do come in."
Spike sat at the kitchen table, squirming.
Blaze raised an eyebrow. "Do you...Want something to eat...Or drink, maybe?"
Spike shook his head. He was trembling.
"Spike-"
"What can you do?!" Spike burst out.
"Uhh.." said Blaze, puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Sorry." said Spike hurriedly. "What I mean to say was...What's your special talent?"
"Well," said Blaze, "There's nothing, really."
"Oh, come on." Spike insisted. "There has to be something."
There is, Blaze thought to himself. But everyone thought that they were good at singing these days. Even if they were horrible. Blaze could sing, very well, but how could he be sure? You never know until you try. A voice echoed in his head. It was unfamiliar.
"I can sing." said Blaze. Spike's eyes widened. They were a bright spring green.
"Let's hear you." said Spike, now enthusiastic.
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"That's great!" Spike exclaimed. "But what's that song even about?"
"Heheh...Don't you worry, Spike."
"But-"
"Shh...No, no... Now, why did you want to know of my special talents?"
Spike explained of Trixie's boasting. "-And Twilight doesn't want to do anything about it just because she doesn't wanna show off!" Spike huffed.
"Spike, Twilight is just being modest. She doesn't want to risk looking like Trixie with fancy tricks and such."
Spike sighed. "But Twilight really is the best unicorn! It's not fair..."
"You will learn," Blaze continued softly, "That life just isn't fair. And when things aren't going well, you'll just have to push through the day."
"Gee, Blaze." said Spike with a surprised look. "You don't look that old. How did you even learn that?"
Blaze smiled bleakly. "Don't worry about that. Besides, how's your little plan going to work if I'm not a pony? Won't everyone freak out?"
"You," Spike smiled sneakily, "can leave that to me."
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"Ready?" Spike whispered.
"Yeah." Spike handed Blaze the microphone. "Are you sure no one will find out?" Blaze replied.
"Of course. Nopony will guess. the curtain is too thick."
"Alright, Spike." said Blaze. "You owe me."
"Of course." Spike smiled. He left. The music played.
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The crowd cheered, wolf-whistling. "That was Ezalb, the mysterious and musical pony!" Spike announced.
Blaze quickly exited the curtain, darting around the trees and into the shadows.
"Oh, please." Trixie snorted. She drained a small bottle full of green liquid. She then proceeded to sing opera. Though many hated to think so, it was beautiful.
They had failed.
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Spike hadn't bothered returning to Blaze's cottage. He was too upset. He decided he'd take a walk to calm himself. He crossed his arms. "What are you two doin'?" he asked Snips and Snails.
"Just bringin' the G & PT a-"
"The what?"
"The Great and Powerful Trixie!" the unicorn exclaimed.
Spike snorted.
"Just bringin' her a smoothie."
"How can you fall for her lameness?" Spike spat. "She's just a show-off. Unlike Twilight-"
Snips gasped. "The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished an Ursa Major. Can your Twilight claim that?"
"Oh really? Were you guys actually there?" said Spike, annoyed.
"Well,uh no-"
"There!" Spike yelled. "The proof is in the pudding!"
"I like pudding." said Snails dreamily.
"Look," Spike sighed, irritated, "Unless an Ursa Major comes waltzing up the street for Trixie to vanquish, I am not going to believe a word she says. And neither should you!"
"An Ursa Major walking up the street, eh?" Snips said thoughtfully. "Snails, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"
"Why do they call it a flea market when they don't really sell fleas?" Snails said dumbly.
"Ye- no!" Snips shook his head. "Come on.."
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Blaze had heard of Twilight's feat of vanquishing the Ursa minor. He was rather impressed himself. He just didn't understand how constellations were creatures. But, then again, he reminded himself, this world just didn't make sense. Why were the ponies so kind? So caring? So decided? In the human world, it was all about being the best. Here, it was all about being yourself, and nothing else.
Blaze returned home. He needed to talk to the Princess. He had questions. There were so many things on his mind, they were tumbling out. He tried to catch them, remember them. The best he could do was write them all down.
Blaze was surprised to see Twilight knocking on his door the next day. He was expecting Pinkie or Spike. But no. "Well," he said, "my door seems to be very attractive lately." He didn't even know how people kept finding the place; it was well hidden.
"Hello." Twilight said awkwardly.
"Come on in." said Blaze, gesturing towards the inside of his home.
Twilight stepped in. "I- I just wanted to say thank you." she smiled at him.
"...What?" Blaze asked blankly.
"Well, I know that you gave Spike and Pinkie good advice...And I know that you were Ezlab. So I just wanted to thank you. And.. Let me know if you need anything." Twilight explained.
"I do, actually." Blaze said. "I want to see the princess."
"The princess?" Twiligth blinked. "O-of course. When?"
"If you don't mind, as soon as possible." Blaze said impassively.
"Oh! S-sure. Uh, do you mind coming with me to the library?" Twilight asked.
"Of course not." said Blaze, following the purple unicorn. He put his hood up.
What a strange guy, Twilight couldn't help but think to herself. She had been reading an extremely old book on humans. This wasn't normal behavior. How could he be so stoic? She made a mental note to ask Princess Celestia.
Twilight led Blaze into the large tree. "Spike," Twilight called her young assistant, "When is the next train to Canterlot?"
"It's in about ten minutes, Twilight." Spike said. "But why do you wanna know?"
"Blaze and I are taking a short trip." Twilight replied. She glanced at Blaze. He was leaning against the wall, a blank expression masking his face.
"Okay." Spike said uncertainly. "How long will you be gone?"
"Not long." Twilight reassured the dragon.
Spike returned to the library's rear, leaving the two to their own business. "We better hurry if we want to catch that train." said Twilight. "I just need a moment." Using a pink aura, she began to collect several books and her saddlebags.
Blaze waited for Twilight, not saying a word. Wave peeked through the door, smiling. "There you are." Twilight didn't notice. "So, we're going to see the princess, eh?" Wave grinned. "What fun."
Wave looked at Blaze, concerned. "Why aren't you happy? Do I have to get loud to get you groovin'?" Wave teased. Wave was quiet. He never spoke to anyone. Except Blaze. And when he spoke, he often got loud (for no real reason).
"Alright." Twilight smiled. "We better hurry." They rushed to the train station, running. They got there just in time to get their tickets and board the train. (By that, I mean they got there just in time for Twilight to hide the humans and sneak them onto the train.) They sat their awhile, silent. The had a private cart.
"Blaze," said Twilight, "What's your world like?"
"Well, I'll tell you, it's no walk in the park." Blaze replied, somewhat bitter.
"Oh, come on." Twilight mused, "It can't be all that bad."
Blaze scoffed. He then began darkly, "My world is a terrible place. People enjoy harming themselves with different drugs and alcohol. People are forced to have sexual intercourse, and are beaten if they resist. People starve on the streets, and no one wants to help them. People give kill their own babies. Bad people make up ninety percent of the entire population.
"Sometimes, if babies aren't lucky enough to get killed, they are abandoned, destined to live a cruel reality. Those who were lucky enough to be born wealthy become stuck-up and spoiled. My world is slowly rotting, filling with trash. People kill themselves because they were cursed with a terrible life. But," he added, "Only two types of people do that: the weak and the impatient. The impatient do it because they are too upset to wait for the good. The weak do it because they don't have enough strength to put up with it... That's not their fault."
Twilight stared in shocked horror. How could a world be so horrible? "How is that even possible?" she laughed. The laugh was without humor; it was nervous.
"Well, I'm sorry not everywhere can be a fucking perfectly pleasant, peaceful, and pastoral place, Twilight." Blaze said darkly. It was impossible to tell whether he was mad at Twilight or at the universe in general.
"Blaze," said Twilight sadly, "How did you even put up with all of that?"
She never got a response. The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Blaze was swiftly hidden when the train slowed to a stop.
Blaze crossed the drawbridge, right behind Twilight. The Princess awaited them in a private chamber. "Why don't you have a look in the library, Twilight?" the princess asked. Taking the hint to leave, Twilight nodded and left them alone.
"What is on your mind, Blaze?" the princess asked, taking a seat on a cushion.
"Frankly, I don't understand this world." said Blaze. "Why, why is everyone so kind all of the time? Why is everything so pleasant?"
The princess smiled. "Things weren't always that way. But I'll save that story for a different time. Blaze, what do you think is the source of all of your troubles back home?"
"The morals." Blaze said, without thinking. "Everyone is constantly fighting to be the best."
"Well," the princess said kindly, "in this universe, everything is set by destiny." She paused. "Have you ever wondered how ponies' names foreshadow their talents?"
"No." Blaze replied simply.
The goddess smiled. "Well, you see, before a baby is born, both of the baby's parents will have a dream. It is a vision they have in their sleep. Something small, that just tells them what their child is destined to do. A subtle hint. And then they just know what to name their child."
"What does that have to do with it?" Blaze asked.
"Destiny is said to give the parents that dream. The same force that brought you hear. Everypony is set to do something ever since their first ancestor was born, and they live to do their name justice." she explained.
"So...When destiny is set, people are more sure of themselves, and don't fight for power." Blaze said.
"Precisely." the princess nodded.
"There are some other things I want to ask...If that's okay."
"I'll answer them if I can." the princess responded.
"Why are animals, like dogs, pets when ponies are animals themselves?"
"Well," the princess chuckled, "I could ask you the same question. Aren't humans animals?"
Blaze paused. He then shook his head, smiling. "You got me there. Why are constellations animals then?"
"Constellations are made in pairs: one roams the sky, and the other roams the ground." Her tone was serious.
That clarified his biggest concerns. Everything else was minor, he realized. But he was still curious. "When was the last time a human came to Equestria?"
"That happened when I was still a filly. I'm afraid I don't remember." she replied. She paused. "I have a question for you."
"Yes, your Highness?" he suddenly remembered the title.
"Are you enjoying your time here?"
"Huh?" he mumbled, surprised at her question. He quickly recovered, replying, "Uh, yeah. I-it's great, your Majesty."
"Good." the princess nodded. "Hmm...Twilight might never come out if I don't fetch her now."
"Oh, I'll just show myself out." Blaze said, hastily exiting. He began walking down the hall. A tall, blue alicorn stopped him. "Blaze, isn't it?" she asked, her voice loud.
"Yeah..."
"Does though have human currency?" she asked, in the same loud tone.
I showed her the paper and coins. "Will though exchange thy currency for bits?" she queried. She sounded as though she were from another era.
"Okay." Blaze nodded. Princess Luna gave him the gold coins and took his money.
"Excellent! I will most certainly add this to my collection, fair peasant!" she laughed, hopping away.
Blaze stared after her confusedly, but decided that he would just wait for Twilight.
It was a while before she came out, looking thoughtful. She was with Wave. "Uhm, Twilight?"
"Hmm?" she muttered distractedly.
"You might wanna hide me, or a whole crowd of ponies is going to get an eyeful of me." Blaze reminded her.
"Oh, right, sorry." she apologized, blushing. "I've just been thinking..."