Butt-Marks, and Their Ways

by MyHobby

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Lyra
Length: 1773

Twilight Sparkle confronts her issues with sharing a Cutie Mark

Welcome to the weekly meeting of the B/SUCM! That's the "Brotherhood/Sisterhood for the Uniqueness of Cutie Marks!"

We're here to help ponies just like you cope with the identity crisis that comes from realizing that their special mark isn't so special.

Whether you have a lyre, hourglass, compass, or candy wrapper Cutie Mark, come on down and receive encouraging words from ponies that share your pain.

Sincerely,
Lyra Heartstrings, President of B/SUCM

Published 2013-02-24 04:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-24 04:20:02 UTC

Ponybutts Make Their Mark

“President Lyra Heartstrings will now call this meeting to order.”

A minty-green unicorn mare stepped up to the podium, nodding thanks to the pony that introduced her. She fiddled a bit with her jumbled notes before turning to the crowd. A smile spread across her face as she addressed the assembly. “Ladies and gentlecolts! Welcome one and all to this week’s meeting of the Brotherhood/Sisterhood for the Uniqueness of Cutie Marks!”

The meeting hall was filled with mares and stallions of all sizes and colors. Each pony stamped their hooves into the ground in polite applause. They proceeded to take their seats and waited for the next item on the agenda.

Lyra banged her gavel trivially; the entire building was quiet as a mouse. “At this point, Doctor Time Turner will read the last meeting’s minutes.”

A brown, spiky-maned stallion walked up to his mic and began to read a long scroll. “9:45, President Lyra Heartstrings called the meeting to order; 9:46, the previous meeting’s minutes began to be read; 9:47, the previous meeting’s minutes continued to be read, 9:48, A motion was made by Minunette to declare the previous meeting’s minutes as ‘read,’ and Blueblood seconded the motion; 9:49, the…”

Lyra held up a hoof. “Waitaminute, waitaminute, when I said 'the minutes,' I didn’t expect you to separate them into actual minutes.”

Dr. Turner’s ears fell as he considered the implications of his having recorded every last doggone minute. “You mean, the minutes aren’t minute-by-minute?”

“They’re not supposed to be.” The minty mare shrugged.

With a huff, Time Turner tossed the scroll into the air and stomped to his seat. He pouted his lip out and gave a nicker of displeasure. The scroll floated down to cover Lyra’s head, muffling her next words. “Anypony in favor of a motion to declare last meeting’s minutes as ‘read?’”

A stallion with a brilliant blond mane raised a hoof. “Aye!”

Lyra lifted the scroll up to get a view of the pony who had spoken. “Alright, anypony want to second Blueblood’s motion?”

A purple hoof lifted out of the crowd. When Lyra caught sight of the appendage’s owner, she let out a small gasp. “Ah, motion to declare previous meeting’s minutes as read made by Blueblood and seconded by Princess Twilight Sparkle. All in favor?”

A chorus of “Ayes” flew from the group.

“All opposed?”

“Neigh!” A single yell of dissent came from the back of the room, but the earth pony known as Contended Opposition was quickly ignored.

“The ‘ayes’ have it!” Lyra gestured to a pink-maned unicorn. “Twinkleshine, what’s the next item on the agenda?”

Twinkleshine opened another scroll and read aloud. “Last meeting we inducted a new member, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Gentle applause greeted this statement. “Today, we will be treated to her personal Cutie Mark statement.” More polite applause.

Lyra’s grin expanded. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, will you step forwards, please?”

The crowd began to whisper as Twilight Sparkle made her way down the aisle.

“Can you believe it? One day she’s just a regular unicorn, the next… wings!”

“I heard she ascended after inventing a new spell!”

“Pfft, I heard the elements did it!”

“She’s an alien, I know it!”

The purple alicorn stepped up to the podium, wings accidently knocking the mic off of the stand. “Oops, sorry.”

Lyra hastily picked up the fallen object and set it in front of the Princess. “No apologies necessary, Princess Twilight! Happens to all newly-appointed royalty, I’m sure!” The amber-eyed unicorn produced a scrap of paper. “May I have your autograph!?”

Twilight sighed. “Lyra, you know me. We had lunch together just last week.”

“Oh, I know, it’s just not every day you meet a princess.” Lyra smiled once more, grasping a pen and paper in her telekinetic grip.

Twilight gave in and signed the paper. “To Lyra Heartstrings, the friend I see every single day.”

Lyra squeed and took a seat near the back of the stage. Twilight briefly adjusted her mane before addressing the crowd. “Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”

The assemblage droned in response. “Hello, Twilight Sparkle.”

The alicorn took a deep breath before continuing. “And I’m here because I suffer from Cutie Mark Uniqueness Syndrome.”

The other ponies spoke as one once more. “We feel your pain, we’re all the same.”

Twilight’s eyes turned downwards as she began her tale. “It all started the day after my coronation. I was reading in the library when a little filly named Sweetie Belle walked in to return a book…”

She smiled slightly as she recalled the event. “We talked for a little bit, and it wasn’t long before the conversation turned to Cutie Marks. You know how foals her age are.”

All of the parents and parent-figures in the crowd nodded sagely.

“So she asks me, ‘Twilight, if I’m good at magic, do you think I’ll get the same Cutie Mark as you?’” Twilight knitted her eyebrows. “I told her that she probably wouldn’t, since Cutie Marks are special representations of what makes you different from all the other ponies.”

The crowd murmured, this was a very touchy subject for all of them.

Twilight bit her lip hesitantly. “That’s when she dropped the bombshell… She asked me, ‘What about Lyra, and Doctor Turner, and all those other ponies who have the same Cutie Mark as a lot of other ponies?’” Twilight laughed humorlessly. “From the mouths of babes, right?”

Lyra sniffed as her tears began to flow. She dabbed a handkerchief against her eyes as she gazed at her own mark. The lyre was beautifully rendered, its strings sparkling in the sunlight.

Lyre Cutie Marks counted for about half of the B/SUCM’s membership.

“So I began to think about it,” Twilight continued. “And I finally began to notice just how few ponies had a unique Cutie Mark.” She wiped a single tear from her royal purple eyes. “At first, the curiosity was purely academic. But it truly hit home when I realized that I also had a non-unique Cutie Mark.”

The crowd gasped appropriately.

Twilight gazed out a window as she spoke. “Photo Finish came to Ponyville for a spring-fashion photo-shoot. She had come prepared for cold weather, so when the temperature exceeded fifty degrees, she needed to change.” Twilight’s expression became pained. “When she took off her coat, I got a good look at her Cutie Mark…” She turned sideways to give the crowd a good, long look. “Her mark and mine were exactly the same.

“Admittedly, what followed were several hours of selfish whining and navel-gazing.” Twilight grinned sheepishly. “After all, I thought, why should a princess have anything but a unique Cutie Mark?

“What really got my gourd was that her talents and mine couldn’t be further from each other.” Twilight waved her hooves around explanatorily. “I mean, come on! Real magic and ‘za magicks!’ are worlds apart! Who in their right mind would-”

The princess stopped her rant before she really picked up steam. A quick breath in through the nose, followed by an exhale through the mouth, calmed her down slightly. “So, I’ve dedicated myself to researching Cutie Marks, and why they manifest the way they do.”

Applause, slightly more invigorated than usual, followed Twilight as she made her way back to her seat. Lyra retook her place at the podium with her usual joyful smile. “Thank you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, for that moving story. For the next item on the agenda…”

Twilight didn’t pay attention for the rest of the meeting. She was too deep in her own thoughts to process the movement to adjourn until nearly the entire hall was empty. She had formulated a spell to replicate the accident with her friend’s Cutie Marks, when she felt a poke at her side.

A small, pegasus-pony colt was grinning at her, a six-sided star Cutie Mark stamped onto his flank. “Hi! My name’s Sunshine Sprinkles and I have the same Cutie Mark as you!”

Twilight smiled even as her eye twitched. “Really? What’s your special talent?”

The colt smiled wide as he explained. “I was stargazing one night when I saw you move that Ursa Minor. I thought about how cool it would be to do magic like you, and I began to read about magic, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to learn more, and soon I knew enough about magic to teach others how.”

Twilight blinked as she processed the wall of info. “So, your special talent is to teach magic?”

“Yep!” The colt stood proudly. “I can’t do unicorn magic, since I’m a pegasus, but I can teach others how to do it!”

The alicorn gave Sunshine Sprinkles a half-smirk. “I’ll bet that you wish you had a more unique Cutie Mark, huh?”

The colt’s eyes widened. “Oh, no, your majesty! I think it’s super-awesome that I have the same Cutie Mark as my hero! I didn’t even realize other ponies had my mark until I saw you get crowned.” His grin replaced his shocked expression. “Wait until the guys back home learn about this! They’ll never believe me!”

The colt’s mother, a blue unicorn with a lyre Cutie Mark, called him over. “Oops, that’s my mom calling. See you later, princess!”

Twilight sat there for a few moments more, contemplating. On one hoof, she was still pretty cheesed off that her mark wasn’t unique. But on another, was that really so bad? She obviously made that colt very happy when he found out that he had the same mark as his hero.

She flew off towards Ponyville, having made her decision. It was the height of egotism to think that life would be better if only she had a picture on her flank that nopony else had. Egotistical and kinda dumb. She could be an inspiration no matter what kind of Cutie Mark she had, and she made a difference every day.

No bottom-tattoo could change that.

She flew to the park and sat down on a bench. An earth pony mare sat on the opposite side, wearing the same Cutie Mark as Twilight herself. Ignoring the utter improbability of such an encounter, the princess turned to the mare and asked, “So, what’s your special talent?”

The mare looked at Twilight, then at her Cutie Mark, and then smiled. “Well, one day, I was decorating cupcakes when I noticed that I really liked sprinkles…”

Author's Note

Just a funny little thing I came up with this morning. It reads more like a random comedy skit than a story, but so what?

I hope y'all get a chuckle!