The Dark Brotherhoof

by CelestialScribe

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Fancypants
Length: 51394

Twilight is invited to join one of the most feared groups in Ponyville, the 'Black Hoof'...

A seemingly normal day for Twilight takes a very eventful change as she becomes accepted into the 'The Black Hoof', a group feared for the unconventional methods into public humiliations, taking revenge on behalf of others...
With pies.

Twilight, an 'assassin'?
Facehoofing ensues.

First ever fic and thank you all for the support! Revisions of it will be done at some point: looking back... it needs it.

Published 2012-01-29 14:22:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-07 18:31:19 UTC

Prologue: Accepted

"I hope Spike likes the cake!" Twilight commented cheerfully as she trotted towards the library. Of course he will, it's full of flawless rubies! Twilight had to keep reminding herself that as she tried to take another bite of the frosting. The large cupcake was a gift to Spike for his continued- as Spike or Rainbow would say- awesomeness. It wasn't everyday she realised just how lucky she was having an assistant as helpful as Spike, or even one at all, hopefully this would remind him of how appreciative she was.

While walking back, she decided to go over the reciept of things she bought from Sugarcube Corner. "Spike's cake, check. Derpy's congratulatory muffin, check. Oh, free cupcakes from Pinkie Pie, check, I guess." Twilight was unsure of why Pinkie wanted to give Derpy a muffin when she saw her, she said something about her first speaking appearance. "Derpy speaks all the time!" she recalled herself saying.

"Not on set she doesn't!"

"On set? Wha-, nevermind..."

Pinkie is Pinkie, how have I not figured that out yet?

Twilight proceeded to place the receipt back in her saddlebags, until she noticed a faint imprint on the back. She flipped the receipt to reveal a picture of a black hoof-mark, surrounded by a dark red circle. "Oh my...". Twilight was taken back by the startling image at first, forcing herself to stop. It was like an evil cultist marking, or an ancient and disturbing curse. The hoof's outline appeared to somehow radiate darkness. It had been hard to grow into accepting the supernatural for its sometimes disturbing reality, even its general existence, this was one of those times where it appeared in full force.

Relax, remember what I just thought, "Pinkie is Pinkie", random.

Twilight quickly tucked the receipt into her bags to continue on, putting the disturbing image as far away from her mind as possible, and shortly arrived back at the library as the sun was just beginning to set over Ponyville. Twilight stepped in to the dim lighting of her living room, her eyes adjusting to the change in light as she spotted a lump roll around the couch, a faint snoring coming from it.

Normally Twilight would never wake Spike, especially in the evening, but she felt the need to confront someone about the strange marking. Pinkie or not, it didn't look very random, and not at all like anything she would create.

"Spike!" Twilight said quietly, nudging a hoof to the lump draped under a blanket.

It shifted, then resumed snoring.

"Spike, I have something for you!"

At the sound of this the lump rapidly changed directions and uncovered itself until a tired-looking Spike was revealed. He may have gotten over his dragon instincts at hoarding, but the promise of something free was still always welcome. "Twilight, what's the matter with you? It's getting late!" He tried to sound the least bit interested at the free gift offer, but it was clearly overshadowed by his eyes constantly turning from Twilight to her saddlebags.

"Well then, I guess I should give this giant flawless ruby cupcake to some other number one dragon assistant, shouldn't I?" Twilight asked with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

Spike's eye's went from tired to Pinkie Pie meeting someone new in half a second.

"A flawless...ruby-...". Spike trailed off as he began drooling at just the thought of it. Sure enough, it was a flawless ruby cupcake being levitated out of Twilight's bags, about the size of his head. "Oh my gosh, thank you so much Twilight!"

"Thank you, Spike, for managing to deal with me every morning and sorting the ever-increasing amount of books around here!"

Spike hugged Twilight's neck from his position on the couch, his eyes never leaving the cake floating above her. "Ah, it's no biggie, not when you're this amazing!"

Twilight shared a laugh with Spike and then brought the receipt out of the bag. "Also, Spike, I wanted to ask you, have you ever seen anything like this before?" She questioned while flipping the paper to reveal it's mark.

Spike's eyes suddenly went from Pinkie Pie meeting someone new to Pinkie Pie being granted access to the Canterlot royal cidery and bakery, minus the ear-to-ear smile.

"Erm, n-no, Twilight, I-I have no idea!" Spike said slightly too loudly for someone who was supposed to be knocked out on the couch asleep. His eyes darted every way they could possibly go, his feet shuffling and his scales beginning to shine with a coat of sweat. "Are you sure its not just Pinkie Pie being... you know-"

"Pinkie Pie? That's exactly what I thought, but its just not something Pinkie would do. It just isn't at all like her, it isn't happy or bright. It feels... evil." Twilight answered, barely managing to say the last word, and being distracted from Spike's increasingly shiny scales. "It's probably nothing, it just seemed a bit strange, I should concentrate on finishing that book anyway." Twilight suddenly perked up, and then yawned, realising how tired she was. "Tomorrow, finishing that book tomorrow."

At the first 'tomorrow', Spike managed to escape his frozen position, and uncomfortably nodded. "Yeah, get some sleep Twilight, I'll save this cake in the fridge, thanks!" As Twilight began walking towards her bed, Spike slipped on his sweating puddle, and faceplanted the ground. He shot up, and casually pretended nothing happened, continuing his slippy walk towards the fridge.

As Twilight turned out the last candle in her room, she wondered why Spike didn't get himself off the couch and back to his well-loved basket and blanket at the edge of her bed. However, given how tired Twilight was now, she would of gladly slept on the couch had it been in hoofs reach and unoccupied.

She sighed comfortably inside her bed and could already feel herself drifting off to sleep. Until she heard a hissing sound coming from her room. "Gas leak?! A snake?!" Twilight tried to shout, asking herself. In her current state is was probably more like "gah-leehk, snaef...".

She fell asleep as the small pattering sound of dragon claws ran into her room, followed by a slow multitude of hooves.

Chapter 1: Welcoming Party

Twilight's eyes shifted around slowly, and began to struggle open. Before they were fully open she realised that there was barely any light around her, but a simple dim orange glow piercing her side. Twilight expected the room to be near enough pitch black were it not for the light, which made it surprising as her eyes adjusted to a new pink colour directly in front of her. As her vision's blur cleared, she spotted a sight very common in Ponyville. Pinkie Pie's large grin and wide open eyes staring directly at Twilight. Except in this case she was millimetres from Twilight's nose, still frozen in her smile. Twilight finally opened her eyes in a state of shock, confusion and embarrassment.

"SUPRISE!" Pinkie shouted, somehow still able to keep herself balanced as Twilight suffered a minor heart attack and fell off the bed she once was laying on.

"Ah, Pinkie!" Twilight yelped in shock. "What's going on? Where am I? How-..." Twilight's thought train was suddenly delayed and scrapped as she thought back to the previous night. "Wait, Pinkie, is the library alright? What about Spike? I heard a gas leak! We ha-...". Twilight's thought train was once again interrupted, leaving angry passengers inside her head, as Pinkie fell off of the bed, (that was apparently cursed to make all its occupants fall) laughing. "Pinkie, this is serious! Somepony could be hurt! I heard a hissing noise!" Twilight said irritatedly.

"Haha, oh, Twilight, that wasn't REAL gas, it was sleeping gas!" Pinkie responded.

One of Twilight's lone eyebrows suddenly raised. "You used sleeping gas on me..." Twilight paused allowing Pinkie to nod. "...While I was going to sleep?". Pinkie nodded once again, still smiling. Twilight waited to see if Pinkie could figure out what was off in her plan.

...

...

"Well...?" Twilight questioned after a few seconds, hoping Pinkie hadn't lost track of the conversation.

"Well what?" Came Pinkie's cheerful response, unaware of Twilight's facehoofing.

"Why did you use sleeping gas on me while I was going to sleep?!"

"Well, duh! You would have woke up if we didn't use it! It kinda, maybe knocked you out a little as well..." Pinkie trailed off. "Just a teensy bit."

"Wait a minute, 'we'?" Twilight thankfully stopped before she heard Pinkie confess to making her unconscious.

"Oh right! I'm supposed to introduce you to them now!" Pinkie beamed happily.

"Who? And, again Pinkie, where are we?" Even Twilight's brain was struggling to make connections through Pinkie Pie's antics. Now that she had a better view of the room, it seemed very compact. The lone bed she once was lying on, a simple cupboard resting upon a stone floor and the only source of light, a candle were its only accompaniments. Directly behind Pinkie was the door out, leading into dimmer and danker areas. Pinkie's bright, poofy mane seemed out of place, contrasting the dark features of the room.

Pinkie's tone suddenly took a serious change, and began mimicking Flutterguy's voice; deep & mysterious. "Answers will come soon enough, Twilight." Twilight stepped back as she heard Pinkie's once high-pitched voice, one she grew to love, intimidate and scare her. "Oooh that was scary, huh? I always wanted to say that!" So much for that then, Pinkie was back to normal as she lead Twilight out of the small room.

Wherever Twilight was, the architecture of the narrow tunnels was both amazing and frightening. Perplexing images were carved into the walls, spreading throughout the cobblestone area, intersecting and leading into various rooms, depicting the unknown. Stories, prophecies? They seemed to have a pattern, yet as soon as they began to reveal their secrets, they lead into one of the other rooms that resembled Twilight's heart attack zone. The rooms were largely the same, some contained fireplaces and chairs- presumably a living room of sorts, some bedrooms, and even a kitchen-looking area, which strangely looked the most well kept and clean. The lighting was as low as Twilight's first experience with 'her' room, the only sources being candles, oil lanterns, torches or the occasional fireplace that kept the entire area warm despite the whole 'underground dungeon' vibe that was being given off. The air had a musty quality, Twilight could not imagine any upgrades had been made recently.

The maze soon ended as Pinkie continued down the tunnels slash corridors, Twilight following quietly behind, through no noise other than the splintering of wood from past fireplaces and little-to-no light except for the dim embers from near-death torches raining upon the hard stone ground. The pair reached a set of large, wooden double doors. They were easily the most polished things Twilight had seen in her short time here, and had laced patterns of shined, black waves, giving an illusion of being pushed against the door's sides.

"Ok, Twilight, it's time to meet everypony!" Pinkie said a tad over-dramatically, as if Twilight wouldn't be able to hear her while standing right beside.

Pinkie pushed the heavy-looking doors open with ease, and no creaking, and then quickly circled around the open door before Twilight could follow.

A cacophony of voices suddenly yelled out, "SUPRISE!", and if this was any indication of the last time Pinkie said that today, this would be bad. A flurry of white & brown circular shaped objects suddenly lept forward directly at Twilight, including one from the side- and she was frozen in fear, much like a deer on the receiving end of the 'Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000's' headlight's, and unable to move. Instead of her expected pain, she felt a cool, squishy substance run down her mane, snout, legs, and pretty much everywhere else that had been covered in this weird texture. It then hit her, if you'll pardon the pun, that she had been covered with a load of cream and apple pies, bits of brown crust falling out of her squinted eyes and onto the floor.

As if on cue, the herd of voices was once again raised, but this time in laughter at the dessert covered mare. She looked up to see a variety of, thankfully, familiar faces. Applejack & Rainbow Dash were supporting each other to keep themselves from falling over laughing, Zecora stifiling a laugh with her hoof, Spike rolling on the floor in circles, one of Rarity's friends- Fancypants, she remembered, chuckling to himself- and Pinkie Pie to her side, exploding with laughter, filling the room the loudest.

Twilight tried to stare them down angrily, but was clearly overcome by Pinkie laughing even harder, if that was possible.

Eventually the laughter died down, enough for Fancypants to introduce them. "Terribly sorry, Twilight, my dear, but Pinkie insisted that you get the same type of initiation as everyone else did." Twilight turned to glance at Pinkie Pie, who just finished wiping the tears out of her eyes. Twilight heard some regret in what Fancypants said, but heard distinct overtones of: You have to admit it was pretty funny!

Twilight failed at controlling her anger of the events leading up to this moment. "Can someone PLEASE tell me what is going on?! I've been knocked out, -She remembered! Pinkie thought- kidnapped, and now assaulted by pies!" Twilight's mind only just figured out what Fancypants said, it had been working dreadfully slow today. "Huh, initiation? Ugh, more questions."

Zecora took this chance to speak for Twilight's ongoing attacks, the striped zebra speaking as cryptically as ever. "For one to be accepted into our clan, being pelted with cream cakes is first our plan. Flour, apples and paint alike, with these tools are how we strike."

Twilight managed to look more confused.

Suddenly another pair of doors opened behind Twilight's attackers, and they all spun around accordingly as a trio of fillies entered the room. "Awh, we missed it didn't we?" Sweetie Bell asked no one in particular, the little, white unicorn beginning to pout.

"Ah told you we shouldn't a' tried a 'Cutie Mark Crusader Coal Miners' cutie mark before we got here, Scootaloo!" Applebloom remarked.

"Hey! I thought we could've dug into these tunnels in time! Besides, Sweetie suggested it!" Scootaloo countered, crossing her hooves in victory and looking away from the curly maned filly.

"Did not!" Came the inevitable, squeaky response from her that would create another argument.

"Did too!" And it begins...

"Di-..."

"Girls! Please be quiet!" Sweetie's response was cut short by Twilight's hoof being jammed in her mouth.

"Gross, Twilight!"

"I'm sorry, but I need to know what's going on here." She glanced back towards Zecora. "Your clan?"

"Please, allow me to elaborate." Came Fancypants' polite voice as he brought a towel to Twilight. "We are a rather unique set of individuals dedicated to the balance of our social society."

"We throw pies at people!" Shouted Pinkie.

"Well, yes, ahem, I suppose that is a way we preserve the balance. But our goal is to make sure the fair citizens of Equestria are never denied a chance to reserve their dignity, in exchange for somepony else's, we simply make that exchange when asked."

"So you get revenge for those who request help after being wronged?" Twilight questioned as she gave the towel back to Fancypants.

Fancypants smiled, happy that for once someone was on the same page as him, rather than Pinkie's 'chuck pies, receive lulz'. "Exactly, and we want you you join us." Fancypants said as he scanned his hoof around the mismatched group. Multi-coloured ponies, and zebra, shattering the grim atmosphere.

"We know how good you are with magic, Twi, and we figured that would really help us, not havin' any unicorns." Applejack said, and then quickly turned to Fancypants & Sweetie Belle, who was just about to pull out her very large crying eyes. "No offense o'course! Twilight is the element of magic after all." Sweetie noticeably calmed after that, Fancypants seemed unaffected either way, not taking pride in magic capabilities as much as raw intelligence.

"What makes you think I would want to join anyway?" Twilight asked, interested in the group, perhaps their history, but not enough to join.

"Oh! I got this!" Rainbow said with a mischievous look in her eye. "Well, Twilight, how would you feel if I showed you this...". Rainbow reached for a book off of a shelf; it was covered in dust, but had clear symbols of ancient runes. The book's bindings were laced in a once shiny dark metal, now rusted and slightly misshaped. It seemed a miracle that the booked stayed together as Rainbow flipped through the pages. "Magical studies and recording's from Starswirl the Bearded's personal library, pre-historic magic, the essence of magic, arcane sources and some other really long words in here as well." Rainbow waited patiently for Twilight's response.

Twilight's pupils exploded into two stars. "H-How? Is that real? Really real? By Starswirl himself?" There it is. Rainbow thought, pleased with herself.

"I had it checked with a few of my associates." Fancypants confirmed. "Apparently it was lost in these tunnels by an explorer thousands of years ago. We found it as we moved in. It seems its purpose has only just now been brought to our attention, an incentive for you to join us."

"Just one contract Twilight, then its all yours. O'course if you decide that you enjoy working with us enough afterwords then that'd be fine." Applejack had a hint of knowing behind the statement. "We get paid for every contract, and carefully evaluate each target before we decide if there is a fair reason behind it."

"It's a doozy of a contract waiting!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Fancypants' incentive was working. Throughout the conversation her eyes were glued to the book. Just one contract. I could do that. But what if I get caught! I'm not athletic, I could bring down the entire group! We could all get imprisoned! What if Celestia catches me doing this? 'Princess' Student Caught Assaulting Ponies', that doesn't sound like a good news-line, for me or Celestia! Twilight's mind was still imprinted with the book, much like the Black Hoof's mark, everything she could learn from it literally in hoof's reach. She sighed.
"Fine. I'll do it, I can't promise an actual success though. And just this one time!"

"Then I officially welcome you to: The Black Hoof! Don't worry Twilight, we shall train you to become one of us, its surprisingly easy." Fancypants said as Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow, Zecora, the CMC, and Spike cheered in their new arrival.

"Sorry about the whole kidnapping thing Twilight. I probably should have just asked you or something." Spike grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't worry Spike, I would have said no." Twilight said bluntly while smiling, giving Spike back his confidence.

All of a sudden, there came a large clashing and clattering of fallen objects from outside the door the Cutie Mark Crusaders had entered.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about our other member!" Said Pinkie cheerfully.

The clattering raised in volume as loud thuds were heard approaching. Twilight stared at the door, curious to see who could be behind such a destructive path.

Her questions were answered as a large section of the wall collapsed inwards towards Twilight to reveal a grey coated, pegasus mare, staring wall-eyed around the demolished surroundings. Twilight was visibly stunned, meanwhile the others were going to greet her as if nothing happened. It was clear this was a regular occurrence.

"Whoopsie daisy!" Derpy said slowly, and a reducing smile as she took in the impact her flight caused.

"Don't worry about that Derpy, we were just finishing initiating Twilight into our group!" Rainbow said to brighten up her old friend.

As if the day wasn't full of enough astonishments, Derpy then flung yet another pie directly at Twilight, presumably out of her saddlebags, hitting her square in the face. For somepony with eyes constantly drifting away from each other, she had a very good aim. A look of glee on her face, and a mission accomplished, she began walking up to Pinkie, leaving the others laughing as Twilight snatched the towel back off Fancypants, a scowl on her face- the direct opposite to Derpy's.

"Here you go Pinkie!" Derpy announced as she pulled out an assortment of letters sealed with a Black Hoof mark. "The new contracts are here!"

"Great work Derpy!" Pinkie then turned to Twilight. "Time to start training!"

"Already? I still have a few questions though!"

"We'll handle that as you go through the training, we have a deadline to meet!" Fancypants interrupted. "Follow me please."

Twilight began to follow Fancypants, only just now being able to take in her surroundings. This room was like many of the others except much larger. It was most likely the living and organising room for the Black Hoof. Very spacious, only a few scattered bookshelves and tables. A large fireplace in one corner and the usual amount of mixed torches and candles. It had been done up enough to feel modern, but still kept its 'underground dungeon' charm- if you could call that charm. The majority of cobblestone flooring had been covered in soft carpets, while the walls held framed pictures of art to newspaper clippings of what Twilight believed to be famous contracts the group underwent.

This is going to be one heck of an adventure...

Chapter 2: Lock & Load

"Welcome to the armory!" Fancypants proudly waved his hoof across the wall lined with incredibly strange shaped contraptions.

"Erm. Interesting?" Twilight was unable to tell what these tools actually were. They didn't seem to have an overall design to them; just bits of scrap metal glued together.

"I know they are not much to look at currently, but we are ensuring the mechanisms work correctly before properly giving them the appearance they deserve." Fancypants quickly reassured. "I took the time out of my usual manufacturing businesses to create a few personal projects off the record." Fancypants said with pride.

I doubt they even work... Twilight thought skeptically.

"Here, let me show you how they work..." Fancypants lead Twilight to several narrow aisles that appeared in front of her as they walked through the large room on the other side of the main 'living room'. Everything was relatively easy to get to in this place, the areas that were actually in use were quite compact around each other. At the end of each aisle was a mannequin, much like Rarity's design statuettes, varying in distance from where Twilight & Fancypants stood. Some were already covered the same way Twilight was minutes ago, multi-coloured fluids dripping from the one furthest away. "Let us try with the closest one first, Twilight."

Before Twilight could check her practice target, Fancypants detached one of the crazy inventions from the wall and offered it to her. She immediately felt a much heavier weight than she anticipated hit her hooves, and began struggling to keep the object upright. With much more effort than should of been necessary, she lifted the weight and got a better grip of it. Only just then did she think to use her horn. She would facehoof but she'd probably forget she was carrying it and drop it.

"Ah, getting straight to hooves with it already, are we?" Fancypants observed. "You even have the proper stance to hold it!"

"I do?" Twilight asked unsure of herself. The contraption very much copied the look that Twilight read about medieval weaponry. Before the first Hearth's Warming, ponies used things called 'crossbows' to purposely injure others! She would hate to think she would be using this for the same reason! She understood that Celestia's guards still had swords that were once used to harm others, but now they were now just seen as a deterrent. She was quickly assured as Fancypants brought her 'ammunition' box, showed it to her, and then lifted the lid off.

"Chocolate eclairs?"

"Mmm-hmm" Fancypants nodded. "The 'Clairifier 2000s' are adapted magically to expand its ammo upon contact. It allows a larger blast radius, further humiliation, and almost anything can be launched from it!"

"The Clairifier 2000?"

"Haha, yes I came up with it myself. Because of the eclairs that..." Fancypants looked around awkwardly. "... are fired." He slowed and came to a halt. Fancypants quickly perked up to avoid further embarrassment at terrible puns. "Anyway! On to the range! Lift up your Clairifier and point it at the target, then pull backwards on that trigger under the weapon, either with your hoof or magic. It couldn't be simpler!"

Twilight lifted the Clairifier up to her muzzle, then away from it, remembering to use her telekinetic abilities. The closest target was about the length of three snooker tables away. With a flick of her magic, the trigger snapped backwards, as well as the entire launcher that recoiled into her shoulder, staggering her almost to the point of falling. She watched as the eclair took to a pace of Rainbow Dash, faster than she could keep track of, but ultimately miss her target. Twilight looked annoyed, thinking back to why she accepted this in the first place.

"Not bad for your first time." Fancypants reassured. "Remember to continue breathing, and take your time. You need to get the proper feel for it before you fire."

"Ok, breathe..." Twilight muttered as she again brought up the launcher. Fancypants loaded another eclair on the top rack, and pulled it towards Twilight, keeping the cylindrical object held by the restricted string atop the launcher, a very simple way of rearming the weapon. She thought about what she was aiming at, perhaps the head was a bit over-ambitious for now, so she aimed for the torso of the pony mannequin. She allowed herself to exhale once more before snapping the trigger back. This time she was rewarded with a satisfying 'squelch' and one humiliated pony. Kind of.

"Haha, well done Twilight! You are indeed a fast learner! Ready to go straight for the furthest one?"

"Already? I only hit the torso!" She looked at the furthest one, being at least four times the length of the first.

"With your first contract you won't need that brilliant of an aim, not yet anyway. Its no harder really, simply aim slightly higher than whatever you're targeting to compensate for range."

Twilight did as commanded, followed Fancypants' advice, and yet again hit the target, except this time in the arm.

"Bravo, Twilight, bravo!" Fancypants exclaimed with joy, clapping his hooves together. "Time to move on, however, I'll show the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders' in for your next lesson."

That was pretty fun! Wait, what am I saying? No, no, it was just like Luna's first taste of fun, it doesn't mean anything yet. She lied to herself. "Thanks Fancypants! But first, you promised me some answers!"

"Oh, of course, well to answer where we are right now I'll put in bluntly."

Twilight held her breath. What sort of place could contain this sort of knowledge, to have lost a world-famous book to its secrets and aged well over thousands of years?

...

"We're in Pinkie's basement."

Twilight choked on her breath. Gasping out a "What?!" before turning into a fit of coughs.

"I know that, given the view, it should be hidden in some ancient ruins or lost caverns underground. So it is quite surprising to say the least that Pinkie artlessly found it while exploring for baking ingredients. She told me she accidentally chipped away some of the floor from all of the constant falling down the stairs into the basement did. Eventually the chip became a hole, and the hole became a tunnel. Finally, she turned it into the fabulous headquarters of mischief you see today." Fancypants said with a smile.

"Wow, all of this is Pinkie's basement?" Twilight managed to stop coughing enough to say, which Fancypants nodded to. "Well, who else but Pinkie, right? Also, if I may ask another question?"

"Of course, my dear."

"Why did you join The Black Hoof? I mean, no offense, but it seems that one of Canterlot's elite wouldn't be so inclined to partake in something so... ...as Rarity would say... uncouth." Twilight pondered aloud.

Fancypants chuckled slightly, before dead-panning to answer. "You might say being around the type of ponies I am around everyday can get a tad nullifying. There is indeed a price for being a Canterlot sophisticate. There are so many of them with such clear charades of personalities. Granted, not all of Canterlot is like that, but the amount of business ponies that talk as if you were their best friend is astounding when you realise how many of them would simply prefer to watch your livelihood burn."

Twilight was a bit taken back by Fancypants' revelation of the business world in Equestria. "I'm sorry, I didn't intend to dampen your spirits with that."

Fancypants changed back to a smile, and then laughed. "No dampening at all, my dear, that is why I am one of Canterlot's most important ponies. I need the Black Hoof as an escape from that world, and into a more care-free environment that isn't constantly judgemental of your actions." Twilight was glad his mood was back to normal. "With my connections, as well, it is very easy to set up public social events that can lead to a large amount of ponies and press noticing if somepony were to say, be soaked head to hoof in custard. It also exposes a truly fascinating insight into the pony that has been embarrassed. You will see how one's emotions get the better of them, revealing their true personalities." He paused. "Sorry for dragging on a bit, but I'm glad I could finally open up to someone who could understand me further."

"No bother at all Fancypants, a truly remarkable story. If you don't mind me asking, do you have any hints on who my target is?" Twilight wondered.

"Let's just say, for now, much of Canterlot have the displeasure of knowing him. As well as our friend Rarity especially."

Twilight gasped. "Do you mean...-"

Fancypants cut her off. "Ah, ah, ah. The answer is far sweeter when you know you have waited for it."

Could he really mean Him? He must have loads of connections!

"Well, I must be going now Twilight, it was a pleasure talking to you." Fancypants bowed respectively and left the room as the trio of fillies entered.

"Finally!" Scootaloo said in an annoyed tone.

"We've been waitin' for ages to teach you 'bout the Tater Tots!" Shouted Sweetie Bell.

"Tater Tots?" Twilight asked monotonously.

"They're these awesome spheres that explode out whatever you put in them!"

Something about Applebloom saying explode made Twilight feel uncomfortable.

"Explode? Like, spray goop everywhere explode?"

"Eeeyup!" Applebloom mimicked her big brother quite successfully.

"My favourite combination is tar and feather Tots!" Scootaloo said.

Twilight pictured Scootaloo covered in tar and then feathered.

"No way, paint & stink tots are waaay better!" Sweetie Bell thankfully saved her friends from seeing Twilight's inner guffawing that was bursting out of her slowly. After a while, Twilight managed to compose herself thanks to Sweetie's argument distraction. "Ok, girls, enough. What exactly are Tater Tots?"

"We'll show you!" The fillies took a bunch of spheres off of the armory wall. Varying in size and colour. Four colours of bombs were lifted from the wall. Red, white, green, and yellow. "These are the different types of bombs!" They were suddenly shoved into her hooves with a great force.

"Woah, careful girls! You said these were explo-..." Suddenly the blue coloured sphere clicked while nestled next to Twilight's elbow. An outburst of smoke shot up from it and displaced around Twilight causing another of fit coughing, temporarily blinding and stinging her eyes.

"Aah! Girls! What happened?" Twilight looked around frantically trying to make out any shapes possible, lashing out at the smoke consuming her.

"Calm down Twi! This happens all the time." Came Applebloom's voice from outside the smoke.

Twilight didn't calm down, she continued waving her hoofs around trying to clear the smoke, but it was far too dense.

Eventually, the blue aura of smoke cleared. Revealing Twilight as a shivering mass cuddling the same bombs that were threatening her seconds ago, in fear they might go off if not cared for with hugs.

Fortunately for Twilight, they didn't go off, so she stood up and grasped the bombs with her magic, keeping them secure.
"What was that?!" Twilight yelped.

"A smoke bomb!" Came the three fillies synchronised voices.

"Huh, I guess I can use that to escape from pursuers?"

"You are smart Twilight!" Scootaloo said in awe.

"Well it wasn't that hard to figure out, so what do the rest of these do?"

"Click that tiny button on the side of the green one and throw it at the target!" She responded.

Twilight followed, clicked the small button and threw it at a medium distanced pony, falling only short of target by a few centimetres. Some seconds later, the bomb gave a nasty explosion with a faint green liquid dripping out of it.

"So what was that?" Twilight asked, confused by the pointless bomb.

"Give it a second." Sweetie Bell said with a sly grin.

Without warning, well much of one, her nose began to choke on a putrid smell coming from the viscous green fluid. It was without a doubt: The. Worst. Possible. Smell.

Twilight heard muffled giggles as she flailed her arms around, desperately trying to get rid of the smell. She noticed that the girls had already prepared a nose plug for this very occasion.

"Pinkie Pie to the rescue!" Twilight abruptly heard from outside the door. Pinkie burst through with two large fans in her arms. Somehow powered without being plugged in, they blasted away the horrid smell and Pinkie quickly vanished.

"Well, that was helpful." Was all Twilight could respond with.

"Any...way, next we have the red, white & yellow bombs." Applebloom said as she took a red, Scootaloo took a white and Sweetie took a yellow. They stepped into the aisles to demonstrate their bombs. All buttons were clicked in synch and then thrown at their targets. Applebloom's red emmitted a thick liquid, most likely paint, Scootaloo's white spread a curtain of flour around her target and Sweetie's yellow laced her target with one on Twilight's old favourites: fluffy white cream.

"I'm surprised you girls haven't got a cutie mark in synchronised choreography!"

The CMC turned to look if anything had appeared, but, alas, still nothing. "Ah, well, that would of looked stupid anyway!" Applebloom offered. "Well, congrats Twilight, that's bomb training done, Pinkie Pie's gonna' go over the final bits with you!"

Well, Fancypants said it would be fast.

"Ok, thanks girls, that was... fun. Before I go, can I ask you why you joined the Black Hoof?" Twilight had the answer in her mind.

"For our cutie marks!" They all responded.
For our cutie marks! Oh, wow, surprise!

"And, even if we don't get them from this, its good training for 'Cutie Mark Crusader Ninja Warriors'!" Sweetie Bell included.

"And its great hitting people in the face with pies!" Scootaloo added, to which everyone looked at her. "What?"

Twilight walked out of the training room and began wandering around the main living room. Still here were Rainbow Dash & Applejack, hoofwrestling over a dining table and Spike asleep by the glorious fire that lit the room. The others must have gone home, all track of time was lost in Pinkie's basement. She checked a clock atop the fire's mantle-piece that read '6:23'. Twilight generally got up at around 10 or 11AM. If it was the same time as she woke up today, she had been here for quite a while, and forgot to give Derpy her muffin when she had the chance. That was the least of her worries now though.

"Hey AJ, hey Rainbow, do you know where Pinkie is?"

"She's d-down that d-door..." Rainbow struggled to say as she was fighting furiously against AJ. She pointed with her free hoof to the third exit of the main room which gave AJ the upper-hand.

"T-take the third l-left..." AJ said as she was now on the offensive.

Twilight walked off, paying no attention to the turn of the century battle that was apparently going on behind her. She followed their instructions out of the door and took the third left alley which ominously lead to a large pink door, clearly visible no matter how much light there was.

She walked up to the door slowly, as if sneaking up on it. She gradually began to notice a faint rhythm thumping through the ground as she got closer and closer.

She approached the door, knocked once, then twic-

...and pulled into the room which was now booming with party music, clearly something by Vinyl Scratch.

The walls were dedicated to the colour pink, and it was safe to say that this was probably Pinkie's room. Twilight spun around as Pinkie swang and danced, never letting go of Twilight, which at the moment was a good thing.

"Pinkie!" Twilight tried to yell over the music.

"Pinkie!" She tried again but to no avail.

Twilight then shouted loud as she could, "PINKIE!", as the music unexpectedly stopped. Pinkie jumped backwards in fear and on to her bed safely as she released Twilight into a closet which then proceeded to close on her.

"Whoops!" Pinkie continued dancing as she moved towards the imprisoned Twilight. She opened the closet door to let out Twilight, covered with an abundance of glittery clothes. She helped Twilight out and quickly hung up the dazzling outfits. Definitely Pinkie style, not Rarity.

"Thanks Pinkie." She said wiping glitter from her mane. "So, you wanted to see me?"

"Yep! You're almost all ready Twilight, I just need to show you something!" Pinkie turned towards a bedside table where a dark outfit was settled, picked it up, and unravelled it to reveal a quite dark looking cloak. It was shaped exactly like Zecora's hooded overcoat, but jet-black with faint red lines moving across it to form the signatured Black Hoof mark on the wearer's back. Now that Twilight thought about it, there was also a faint resemblance to the 'Mare-Do-Well' costume, if only how there was an undercoat beneath the cape. There was also an attached red bandana Twilight guessed was to cover the attacker's face. "Ta-da! I present to you, your very own BH cloak!" Pinkie's voice adopted a regal tone.

"Wow, that's astonishing Pinkie! Did Rarity make it?"

"Haha, no, of course not!" Pinkie then pulled out another copy, identical in every way except for the rosy pink colour that adorned every side of it. "I made them! This one's mine! Applejack suggested that we should probably look a bit more stealthy, so they changed theirs. Yours is the basic standard one!"

"Well, thanks again! It really is something..." Twilight was then pulled in by Pinkie Pie who then attempted to force it on her, fortunately, as was most area's of the basement, Pinkie's room was huge, so there was a lot of space for Twilight to squirm free. "Wait a second Pinkie! I'll do it myself!"

She then took the cloak from her and proceeded to place each hoof in carefully, she had enough of being hit in the face by things today, the floor was not another option. The underside of the cloak fit freely around Twilight's stomach, secure but not tight, and she then popped her head through the main hole and into the hood. Her horn did not prove a problem, somehow the hood concealed it well enough without making the tip visible. Lastly, she flipped the cape from over her side to on her back. The image was complete, and Twilight couldn't help but wonder how Pinkie designed something so cozy and convenient.

"Pinkie, this is brilliant! Everything fits so well, even my horn isn't noticeable!"

"Or your face!" Pinkie declared.

"Oh, right sorry." Twilight pulled back the hoof and checked over herself.

Stylish!
Rarity would not approve.

"One more thing Twilight! You need to practice throwing simple pies, anypony's best friend!"

"But I've already learned the basics of the Clairifier & the Tater Tots, why would I need a pie? Aren't they a bit perceptible anyway?"

"Those weapons are great for when you have time for a planned attack, but what if you need to escape!?" Pinkie asked as if it was currently happening.

"Then I use a smoke tot." Twilight put straightforwardly, considering 'tot' as an everyday word.

"Oor, you can place a few tots in a pie, lob it, and creates ten times the normal effect! And with an apple pie you don't have to wait for it to explode! Its quick, easy and reliable!"

For once, Pinkie Pie made sense.

"Good point, but what about the hiding of them?" Twilight still had a hope at not being defeated by Pinkie's logic.

"I'll show you!"

Pinkie walked over to her bed, reached under, and brought out a Clairifier, four tater tots, and a stack of 3 pies, Twilight knew better than to question how she was holding all of them. Pinkie approached the side of Twilight and fastened the Clairifier to a strap the outfit had that Twilight had only just noticed. With that attached firmly to the side of Twilight's stomach, and the tots placed in a barely visible pouch the cape had zipped over, Pinkie raised the apple pies to her face, each stacked atop one another.

Twilight watched in utter disbelief as the pies fused together.

The weirdness continued to grow as Pinkie then pulled the pie out of its tin foil casing, to expose another pie underneath.
"Its Pieception!" Pinkie exclaimed with delight.

"What the-..." Twilight was flabbergasted. "How does that work?"

"I dunno!" Pinkie continued smiling.

Remember what I said yesterday about Pinkie being Pinkie?
I don't know what I remember anymore.
Twilight began having a conversation with herself. She thought it best to ignore Pinkie's magical regenerating weapon of mass humiliation and continue with what was left of reality.

"Oook" Twilight said slowly. "So you want me to practice throwing these at the range?" She asked as Pinkie latched them onto the other side of Twilight's torso, opposite the Clairifier.

"Whenever you want! Make sure you get some practice though! You're gonna' need it if you want to take down Prince Bluebloo-.."

Pinkie froze for a second. "Awh! I ruined the surprise! Stupid Pinkie! Supid, silly, stupid..." Pinkie was facehoofing with each reoccurring insult she gave herself. Meanwhile Twilight's suspicions were confirmed.

"Prince Blueblood? The Prince Blueblood?! How am I suppose to take down a Prince?! Isn't this a bit much for my first time?"

"So, you are thinking of staying with us!" Pinkie bounced happily, without even moving her legs. "Relax Twilight, me and Fancypants have got the whole thing planned out!" Pinkie pulled out a drawing board and a set of blueprints from nowhere and laid them on her bed, ushering Twilight closer. "You'll be partnered with Rainbow Dash who'll help you sneak into the kitchen, clearing out the staff as you go." She pointed to an area on the map which Twilight couldn't make out. "Fancypants organised this place so they probably won't want a bunch of Ponyvillians messing up their kitchen, I know I wouldn't!"

"Pinkie we're from Pon-..."

"Then from the kitchen you can sneak up to the top floor, where there will be a band playing below on the stage until Blueblood comes up to make his speech. Rainbow Dash will keep an eye on the stairs leading up to you. Its a pretty big area and there shouldn't be many people at the top floor, Fancypants reserved the entire deck. It overlooks the stage perfectly, so you can decide what to do with him from there. The place opens at seven thirty pm tomorrow and Blueblood is set to make his speech at around eight."

Twilight was amazed at how composed Pinkie was during the description, and even more so at the plan itself, if only she spoke like this more often. "That... could work!" Twilight said, yet again amazed at Pinkie logic. She didn't really understand Pinkie's drawings, but having the place organised by Fancypants would help alot, especially with Rainbow Dash for backup.

"I'm a genius!" Pinkie said with a goofy smile. "You should probably get some rest Twilight, its gonna be a long day tomorrow, you can stay in one of these rooms if you want!"

"Got it Pinkie, thanks but I'll probably get some practice and then head back home, I miss my bed." Twilight paused. "One other thing Pinkie, when did you start this group? How did it become what it is today?" Twilight asked with curiosity.

"It was after we met Gilda, I didn't realize some poni- erm, griffins, and ponies could be so mean! I thought back to all of the people we've met that could have done with a pie to the face! Trixie, Nightmare Moon, those diamond dogs! Then I met Fancypants at the gala, and we somehow started talking about people we didn't like! He said my idea was one of the best forms of revenge he ever heard, then I found all these tunnels in my basement and made this! I invited him around and we renovated and recruited. He said we shouldn't give away our identities as the mayor doesn't like 'vigilantes', or something. I thought Zecora might be able to help us create those tots, the CMC asked for them to join for a really long time, Rainbow & Applejack got concerned and followed me back here one day, and we only just added Spike to help us get you! Derpy kinda just crashed into Sugarcube Corner at the right angle to hit our basement door. I don't think she fully knows what we do, but she was more than happy to deliver us our mail in exchange for muffins!"

"Pinkie, that's incredible how much you must have expanded in such short time." Twilight looked around until she noticed the door neighbouring Pinkie's room. It had a blazing white light piercing through the darkness underneath the door. "Hey Pinkie, what's in there?"

Pinkie's expression darkened drastically. "Promise you won't get mad?" Pinkie asked hopefully. "Pinkie Pie swear!" She pleaded.

"Ok, sure." Twilight recited Pinkie's oath, wondering what could get her so mad she would have to Pinkie swear. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

"Ok, follow me." Pinkie lead Twilight to the mysterious door, gulped and slowly prodded it open.

"Discord?!"

Chapter 3: Generosity's Peak

"Well, hellooo, Twilight Sparkle! It has really been too long! Oh, how time flies when you're encased in stone!" Discord remarked happily, twisting his face in countless directions.

Discord definitely seemed like his usual self, apart from the neck down accompaniment of thick stone. As Discord spoke, the rest of his statue wobbled precariously, threatening to fall over at any point, were it not for the stands keeping it upright from a distance. Discord would occasionally tilt too far, hit one of the stands, and be stuck on an axis. Until he forced himself back up with his head. it was rather amusing to see just Discord's head struggling to keep the rest of his stone body upright, but that was quickly overcome by shock.

"WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS HE DOING HERE, PINKIE?!" Twilight looked about ready to head into another breakdown, or another magical over-reaction. "Did you STEAL him from Canterlot Gardens?" Twilight kept shifting between Pinkie & Discord, both with amused expressions plastered on their faces. "Do you realise how much trouble you could get in for this?!"

"Oh, I think she's right Pinkie, Canterlot Castle will be feeling awful sore without their most handsome statue on display." Discord said with a clearly fake expression of guilt on his face, pouting slightly. "I should return right away."

"What? But you said-..." Pinkie paused, catching on to Discord's obvious sarcasm. "Oh! Yeah, I agree. Let's get you back to Canterlot!" Pinkie said as she walked up to him.

"Pinkie!" Twilight yelled as she tackled her to the ground. "Don't get too close!"

"Oh, yes, Pinkie, be sure to mind my ever-expanding reach." Discord said as he shifted his neck forwards about five centimetres, then returned it another five backwards. He repeated the process until Twilight finally caught on.

"Twilight, relax, we've had Discord for months now! We brought him here as a, sort-of, mascot!"

"How could you use one of the biggest threats in Equestria as your MASCOT?!"

"He danced on your head Twilight!" Pinkie broke out in another fit of giggles. It took some time for Twilight to recall the event, Discord doing the 'running-mare' on the stain-glass portrait of her and her friends. "He's perfect for what we do!"

"So that makes it OK to just rob royal property?!" Twilight questioned, anger rising again at the lack of understanding that was circling her.

"Standing right here you know." Discord commented. "I would prefer I wasn't called property!"

"Twilight, you Pinkie swore you wouldn't get mad!" Pinkie remembered.

Twilight noticeably eased herself. She didn't want to break a Pinkie promise. "I'm not angry." Twilight paused, clearly angry. "I'm just worried! How did you get him here? Why is his head free?"

"That's easy! We just stole him at night, and replaced him with our crafted statue!"

"How did you manage to re-create Discord?"

"I didn't! The cutie mark crusaders did!" Twilight froze. The thought of a shoddy, makeshift, filly-built statue, clearly displayed in Canterlot Gardens for all to see. It was only a matter of time before someone discovered it was fake! "We just thought they might get a sculpting cutie mark for it, but nope!" Twilight tried to ignore the mind-boggling fact, she would have to return this somehow. Unless they really were cut out to be sculptors. The lack of cutie marks said otherwise.

"Ok, so what about his head? Why is it showing?" Twilight hoped she may finally get a straight answer, everything so far had proven that doubtful.

"I dunno! It happened a bit after we brought him here!"

Le sigh. "You don't know? So he could just be slowly escaping and you don't even care!"

"Why would I want to escape..." Discord butted in, "...when I have this delightful group creating chaos for me?" Twilight swore she heard a squee. "I get to teach my methods and hear about everyone's contracts! It's much better than being in Canterlot Gardens. Not a single pie has ever been thrown around there." Discord shuddered. "It would be great to have my entire body, but what for? So you can all defeat me again? I'll take what I can get!"

Twilight hated to admit it, but Discord had a point. If any one the elements were ever caught off-guard by Discord, Princess Celestia could surely repeat the memory spell that she made Twilight do, wherever she was during the whole incident after setting them out. I should definitely ask her about that. The elements would have also seriously restricted his power, he would have nowhere near enough power after a few weeks of ensnarement than he did after many years. Twilight had yet to notice that she was staring at a wall, deep in thought. Discord joined her.

"What are we looking at?"

"Nothing! Erm, so..." Twilight faltered.

"Pinkie, did we do it? We defeated the almighty Twilight Sparkle in conversation!"

"Yay!" Pinkie danced around Discord. "Oh, wait, I already did that with my Pinkie sense!"

"Well, my first time then!" Discord beamed. "Wait, nope! I completely destroyed your emotions, I remember! I count that as a win." Discord nonchalantly commented.

"Hey! You still need to apologise for that!" Pinkie took a serious tone, it may have been sometimes unclear with Pinkie being Pinkie, but she cared for her friends more than a joke. "Or I get the bucket."

"Not the bucket! No, alright, I'm sorry, Twilight, for demoralizing you and causing you to lose hope in your friends!" Discord quickly said unemotionally, clearly the bucket should be something feared all over Equestria, but Twilight had more pressing matters to attend to.

"That's alright, I suppose, do the others know about Discord? And they're all completely fine with it?"

"Yep! No one cares really as long as he's not destroying Equestria." Pinkie confirmed.

"Renovating Equestria." Discord corrected.

"Renovating..." Pinkie repeated, "... those chocolate rain clouds were pretty tasty!"

"I'm glad someone saw it that way." Discord glared at Twilight with his usual smirk.

"Forget this! I've had enough crazy today! I'm going to bed, I'll sleep here tonight Pinkie, changed my mind. I'm keeping an eye on Discord." Twilight lied, she just needed to collapse in the nearest bed.

"Discord gets all the mares. They can't keep their eyes off me." Discord said slyly, his grin widening as a pair of sunglasses poofed onto his head.

"Shut up Discord." Twilight was in no mood. Until she came to terms with what just happened. "Discord, did you just use magic?"

"Maybe."

"Yes then."

"You got me, i'm going to break out of here with my vast array of spells, watch." Discord proceeded to conjure a number of things upon his head, moustaches to bandanas, and even changing his head to the shape of a banana.

"So you can only use magic that affects your head, good."

"If I could use my hands I would be clapping so slowly right now."

"Very funny."

"I'm serious, the amount of sarcasm that I would produce would blow your mind."

"Uh-huh, well I'm going to bed, this has been an incredibly long day. Good night Pinkie." Twilight began approaching the door.

"Awh, no love for Discord?" Discord very convincingly created tears, supported by Pinkie Pie edging Twilight on- shifting her head frantically towards him.

"Fine, good night Discord." Twilight tried to say with no tone of voice, he was still her enemy after all.

"Hooray! Night, night, sleep tight, don't let the bed-bugs bite! Now say that!"

"No."

"I'll take what I can get." Discord repeated as Twilight left.

"Saw Discord, didn't ya'?"

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Yeah, he has that effect on people, he's pretty awesome once you get to know him though! And a few revenge pies to the face later."

Twilight ended up back in the main room, Applejack had left and the only remaining were Rainbow Dash and Spike- still sleeping by the fire, but now covered in a blanket, this would be his bed tonight.

"So, you ready for tomorrow Rainbow?" Twilight was still very nervous, but if she could have any protection whatsoever, she was glad it would be Rainbow Dash.

"Pshh, no problem, fancy ponies like Blueblood are way too stuffy to notice what'll coming for him!"

"I'm not so sure, Pinkie's plan seems legit though, how did she come up with something so professional?"

"Ah, it was probably Fancypants or Discord who helped, if there's chaos involved, he's all over it!" Twilight grew evidently more nervous around his name. "Don't be so worried, Twilight! It's not like he can escape! Even if he could, I think he's loving this way too much to ever leave, I know I am!"

"I hope you're right, this could go very badly."

"Could. It could go badly, but it won't, Discord or the contract. I'm way too awesome to be caught by anypony, and you've got magic! It'll be a cakewalk! Literally!"

Twilight felt far more confident now, she should of before, with all the letters the mare sent to Princess Celestia she thought she might have learned something about trusting your friends judgement by now. "Thanks Rainbow, I need some sleep though, i'll be on the range in the morning, good night!"

"Got it, good night Twilight." Twilight was about to take her leave, when Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Oh! Wait, here's the letter from the contractor. Bet you twenty bits who it is!"

"Ah-ah, don't spoil it! I'll read it in bed, thanks." She took the curled letter with her magic and then headed for her room before stopping to ask the cyan pegasus a final question with a smile. "Who won that hoof-wrestling match Rainbow?" The pegasus' ego was usually easily spottable, and she regretted to mention the detail of the victor.

"Erm, that's not important! Bye!" She then zipped out of the room before Twilight could question further.

Dear Derpy Hooves,

I understand that you have certain friends that can help get a pony discredited, embarrassed and ruined. I do not have the slightest clue into how, nor any desire to find out, but as I'm sure you are aware the news reports confirm that your group get results. Naturally, I would never succumb to such a ruthless tactic myself, but I shall take great pride and applaud those who are willing to get this done. Prince Blueblood, whom I'm sure you and many others must be aware of, has paraded himself amongst the higher-ups of Canterlot in a truly undeserving manner for far too long. How he can even consider himself of royal status is beyond me, his actions at the Grand Galloping Gala have confirmed that. I would be most appreciative if you could, for lack of a better phrase, 'take him down a notch'; knock this buffoon off of his self-imposed pedestal of egotism- and turn him into the imprudent, inconsiderate blockhead that he deserves to be revealed as. If it is at all possible, I would like to request to be in the audience as he his degraded, though I would be content with it at least being embellished all over the news.

I would prefer my identity to be kept a secret, a lady should not be known to indulge in things such as this, so I know I can rely on you to keep it that way.

Cordially yours.

"Well, I guess I better make quite a show if Rarity's going to be there." Twilight chuckled to herself, masking her nervousness with humor. She didn't know what time it was, but frankly, she didn't care, she needed all the sleep possible for tomorrow.

Twilight briefly concentrated on Blueblood. She was certain that it wasn't the complete destruction of all things fabulous, as Rarity had put it, when he was at the gala with her, but she definitely deserved some redemption. If Blueblood's attitude was a fraction of how Rarity had described it, Twilight could only hope his humiliation would show him 'how to better treat a lady'. She sheltered comfortably in bed, and was fleetly asleep after blocking any negative thoughts she had for the task at hoof.

Chapter 4: Contract I, Stallion Of Her Nightmares

"Miss!" Discord yelled as another pie fell short of his body. "So close, yet so much farther!" And another. "Oh, really now, Twilight, are you sure that you're not the element of athletics?"

Twilight had been lobbing pies unsuccessfully for some time now. She was determined to get some practice without her horn, which proved far easier to hit with, but in an emergency she might need this training. She had woken up around eight o'clock, but was feeling refreshed none the less, indicating an early night's sleep, something she desperately needed. It was around ten o'clock now. Twilight had thought back to Rainbow Dash saying something about 'revenge pies', and decided to hover Discord over to the targeting range, then place him next to the middle target. Peculiarly, Discord relished this opportunity, and didn't put up a fight when Twilight told him, she only now understood why.

"Twilight, you are TERRIBLE at this! Haha! If only I could facepa-..." Discord was cut short by a well placed apple pie to his face.

"Ha! Take that!" Twilight clapped her hooves together in delight. She almost couldn't wait to try it on somepony moving, if she were being chased. Am I really enjoying this?

"Finally! Even I was getting bored standing there!" Discord paused to taste his cheek. "Hmm, not bad."

"Thanks Discord..."

"Oh no, not you Twilight, you just as awful as before, but this apple pie..." Discord managed to extend his tongue a bizarre length, to drag two pies resting on Twilight's back into his mouth, before swallowing them greedily.

"...Gross. Well thanks for being a good target anyway. I mean, you didn't have a choice, but..."

"Yeah, yeah, don't remind me. It was better than being stuck in that room, take me to the living room?"

"I'm not sure the others will like you being out there, but I can't see a problem... yet."

"Again, Twilight, stone body, ring any bells? I'm kinda stuck here, thanks, but no trouble from me."

Twilight regretted bringing Discord with her as he assaulted her with a barrage of questions, he didn't seem that interested in the answers, just the growing anger waiting to unleash from Twilight. "Sooo, Twilight, who's the target? Gotta' plan?"

"Not telling you, and yes."

"Any hints?" Discord managed to twist his head around Twilight's shoulder, with the grace of what you would expect from a part pony, part dragon, goat, manticore- none.

"No."

He was now hanging his head upside down whilst still in front of Twilight, his smile resembling a frown. "Aww, come on Twilight, no secrets amongst best friends!"

"Do you really consider me your best friend?" Twilight offered tactlessly.

"Good point. No. But c'mon Twilight this is the only bit of fun I get around here!"

"Fine. He's a prince, apparently." Twilight had hoped it would end his questions.

"Blueblood! I win! Next!" Discord remarked quickly.

"How did-...?"

"In my short time as all supreme ruler of New Discordia, I felt the many ponies of Canterlot were a bit too... pompous for the chaos I would force them to accept. So, naturally, I converted them with the power of talking marshmallow houses first, 'Prince Blueblood Manor' was quite a laugh. Somehow Blueblood didn't see it that way." Discord explained with a sincere look of confusion.

"Right. Talking marshmallow houses. Interesting." Thank Celestia we stopped him. With all the destruction my library endures regularly it must be exceptionally mad...

Twilight arrived at the living room before Discord's remaining sanity was further questioned. Spike must have been told that Twilight would be staying the night, as he was no longer here. In fact, it seemed as though nopony were here. How do I get out? Nopony showed me the exit. Twilight was interrupted by Discord's laughter.

"Twilight! Look at Zecora's copy of 'Hut Renovations'! I've changed it to 'butt'! Haha, who says you can't have fun trapped in stone? If Celestia could see me now." He thought aloud before laughing once more with a pen in his mouth.

"Discord, aren't you thousands of years old? And you're still as immature as a colt. Or, whatever young draconequus are called." Twilight said unamused.

"Twilight, age is just a number my dear! The sooner you realise that the sooner you can enjoy life and embrace the chaos it has to offer, instead of being stuck inside those books all day! Bleugh."

Twilight couldn't think of a sophisticated rebuttal, such a thing would be pointless against Discord anyway. He would probably pick up the 'butt' in rebuttal. A simple... "Whatever, Discord." ...seemed to suffice. She still needed to find an exit. Discord would have probably lead her into another maze, he had a knack for that. She picked the door the CMC first entered and decided to wander around. Probably not the best idea in hindsight.

Twilight's stroll turned out to be much darker than the sleeping room passageways, the multiple paths spread off into dead ends. The entire subterranean base could use redecoration and many paths isolated; there was no point in corridors that lead to a wall.

"Well howdy, Twi!" Abruptly broke the silent explorer, causing her to jump back in distress.

"AH!" Twilight shrieked as she fell backwards onto the cold, hard, stone floor. Twilight raised her head to spot the familiar orange pony look at her in concern.

"Ah'm sorry, Twi, ah'm kinda new here as well. You get lost too?"

"Yeah, somepony should really fix up this place, there's so many pointless routes to take." Twilight said as she shook off the centuries old dust and dirt from her coat. "Let's head back to the living room, I haven't made much progress here, no exit."

Applejack perked up. "Oh! Y'all are lookin' fer' tha' exit? Ah' can show you that! I was just lookin' fer' mah room, gotta get some stuff before ah' leave too. Y'all got that fancy contract today ain't ya'?"

"Yep, I can show you the rooms as well, I thought Pinkie said you've been here for a while? You followed her back with Rainbow one day?"

"Yup, but ah' don't come here alot. Its mainly just fer' competition with her. Ah'd be lying if ah' said ah' didn't enjoy embarrassin' some of these ponies as well." Applejack said as they both headed back towards the living room, following the warmth and very faint light back.

"Howdy Discord!" Applejack said warmly her and Twilight re-entered the living room.

"Howdy-do AJ!" Came Discord's muffled response from his position on the floor. He was faced down on the stone floor with his face flattened against it. "Don't suppose you could help a friend out?"

"Sure, ah' guess." Applejack replied.

"AJ, how is everypony so accepting of Discord's presence?! He was our enemy!" Maybe Twilight could get a fairer answer from Applejack.

"Was, Twi, he was our enemy, we defeated him an' he's no longer a threat as long as the elements of harmony are together! Besides Twi, it probably gets a might depressing being trapped in stone. He's learnt his lesson, and even if he still would prefer chaos reigning over Equestria, he seems content with us doin' it for him. I guess we have to 'love and tolerate' our enemies, it shows who the stronger pony is when you accept their trouble and ignore it, better yet when you counteract it with the opposite of their intended outcome."

"Wow, AJ, that was really wise, best answer I've had so far!"

"Just 'cos ah' spend ah'll mah time on a farm, doesn't mean I don't pick up things along the way. You'd be blown away at some of Big Mac's psychological hooey." Applejack retorted as she finished lifting Discord's statue, another prime example of her strength.

"That'd be fairly exciting to listen to, I never took Big Mac as a therapist."

"Ah' wouldn't go that far, an' ah' don't think he prides 'imself on it either."

"Sounds too modest, a bit like you AJ." Twilight said tenderly.

"Ha! You kiddin', Twi? I can be as boastful as that 'Great and Powerful Trixie' sometimes!"

"Nope, I think Rainbow's got that title." Twilight said which induced a laugh from them both.

"Oh, Celestia, you ponies are so boring sometimes! Where's the chaos? The fighting?" Discord scowled at them.

"That's not what friends do Discord, you should learn that." Twilight acknowledged.

"Gag. Pass." Discord said as he mimicked himself throwing up, his tongue lolled out at his side.

The two mares resumed the walk to the room area, Twilight leading Applejack. While Applejack collected together her things, Twilight decided to check on her room, she didn't want to have to come back for anything she missed. Twilight gathered her cloak and a set of saddlebags to carry it discreetly. Atop the saddlebags rested a map of a section near Ponyville, marked 'Twilight'. The map was of a route to the target location from her library. It was a fair distance from the town square, but not nearly as far as Fluttershy's cottage. Twilight made a final sweep of the room and met up with Applejack to finally absorb real sunlight and get back to the library.

Twilight forgot about the wonders that Celestia's sun brought everyday, until it almost blinded her as she emerged from Pinkie's basement and then from Sugarcube Corner. Twilight and Applejack made their way to their respective homes like normal, nopony aware of Twilight's hysterical feeling of anxiety and dread. What Rainbow Dash had said had definitely helped, but the reality was this 'attack' still had the probability of failure, something Twilight was not renowned for coping with well.

She thought the best way to handle this was something she usually used to get through these experiences. Books. Perhaps if she immersed herself long enough she could pass the time quickly enough to get this 'mission' over with. It felt absurd to refer to it as that. Fortunately, Twilight still had some unfinished books, and Spike was not feeling very bothersome today. Maybe she co-

"Hey, Twilight? You ready for that contract?" Yeah, that anxiety? There it was, greater than ever.

"Ugh. Spike! I was trying not to think about it." Twilight's head collapsed into her book. Somehow, advanced cosmology and astrophotography didn't seem very interesting right now.

"Oh, sorry." Spike grinned sheepishly.

...
...

"So, you ready for the contract anyway?"

Twilight didn't bother with a negative reaction. "I suppose. I don't really feel confident enough though. One slip up and everypony knows everything about the Pinkie's group, and worse of all that she's harbouring Discord."

"Well thats why you have Rainbow Dash! Y'know there's a skylight directly above the room the Blueblood will be in?"

"There is?"

"Yeah! Didn't you have a look at the place before you came here?"

"E-er... well. N-no, but..." Twilight couldn't hide her stammering.

"Tsk tsk tsk..." Spike shook his head. "So much for being organised Twilight."

Twilight groaned. She was being condescended to by a baby dragon. "Spike, please. Just get some chores done or something, I just want to get this over with."

Spike gave a sincere look as he spoke. "Fine, Twilight, but trust me. It'll be fine. I felt the same about my first contract."

Twilight's eyes popped open wide. "You did a contract?"

"Yeah, of course, we've all done at least one. I'll tell you about it some time!"

It was time. Seven PM. Twilight had half an hour to get into the kitchen, then another half an hour until Prince Blueblood made his appearance. Currently, Twilight was making her way to the... ball? Was it? Spike was right, so much for being organised. Outside she would meet with Rainbow Dash and while everypony was moving in, then they could sneak into the kitchen. Twilight would need to be cautious, however, they needed to enter without being recognised by anypony. The only real threat was Rarity discovering her, it would be tough to talk her out of inviting her in.

Twilight was stationed behind a closed stall, wearing simple clothes to hide her coat colour, just in case. The time for the cloak would come when they were in the kitchen. As far as anypony was concerned she was just admiring the night, maybe fixing up 'her' stall. She was growing tense with the lack of Rainbow Dash, but at the same time had a feeling of serenity. What she was about to do had yet to come, for the moment, there was simple peace.

"Hey Twilight!" Rainbow Dash shouted from aloft the stall.

The amount of exposure to the fright Twilight had recently must have aged her ten years, and she was still not evolving a defense for this. "AH-!" Twilight had to hoof close her mouth, out of fear to cause a scene. She began whispering. "Rainbow! Keep your voice down! Lets not attract any unnecessary attention."

"Lighten up, Twilight! Most of these snobs are from Canterlot, they won't care what a couple of mares from Ponyville are talking about." Twilight glanced back to the forming groups around the building, without question, they were far too wrapped up in conversation amongst themselves. "See? Er, what's with the clothes?" Rainbow was clad only with a set of saddlebags.

"Well, I thought somepony might recognise me, like Rarity."

"Buzz! Sorry, wrong again, egghead! Canterlot ponies won't recognise you, and Fancypants is keeping Rarity well out of the way until showtime."

"So this was pointless?!" Twilight asked loudly, pointing at her simple outfit.

"Yep! Relax, Twi, this'll be a breeze."

They both checked back to the building. It looked like somepony's mansion, definitely. Maybe a Canterlot's Ponyville summer house? Fancypants must have been friends with them. The building was large, but had impressions of older architecture, grey walls lined around the rectangular building, ponies waiting at the bottom of the steps that lead to two bulky doors. It would seem segregated from all other buildings, had their not been a warehouse neighbouring the mansion. The warehouse looked very low rising from the floor. Between the warehouse and masion were a few formally dressed ponies carrying boxes betwixt them. Twilight assumed that was where the supplies were kept for the... party? She should probably ask Rainbow about it.

Swiftly, however, both mares caught a glimpse of Fancypants and Rarity. She was being lead up the stairs as Fancypants turned to spot them staring back. He smiled wittingly before making sure that Rarity had not herself looked back.

"Well, I guess that's our cue!" Said Twilight with overtones of nervousness.

"Ok, follow my lead." Rainbow Dash said before taking off into the air and landing on top of the warehouse silently, the quickness was astounding.

"But I can't...fly." She quickly trotted closer to the warehouse, not able to think of anything else. She was just around the corner from the back of the kitchen, about to come to vision with the entrance, when a large earth pony stallion wearing a black tuxedo stopped her dead in her tracks. His coat was a burgundy colour, mane jet black and slicked back to one side. It was a shame they were on opposite sides, Pinkie could use someone this daunting.

"Excuse me, miss, but I'm going to have to request you to leave, Prince Blueblood has requested extra security at this event. You need a reservation to access, please go to the front entrance if you have one." His voice was intimidating, or maybe that was just how Twilight envisioned everything at this moment, she was unable to form words that didn't come out an incomprehensible mess.

"Oh! R-righ- erm, I-..."

She was brought to a verbal standstill as she eyed Rainbow Dash swooping rapidly in their direction. Twilight ducked instinctively as the large stallion was plundered from the ground, vanishing from view. Twilight turned her head to see the stallion dropped into a large open waste bin, squealing like a filly on the way down, to then close on him much like Pinkie's wardrobe on Twilight. Rainbow flew back smoothly up to Twilight. "Ha! See? Not a problem when you've got me around." Rainbow beamed vainly.

"Phew, thanks Rainbow, I thought I messed up already. That pony said Blueblood requested extra security, do you think he's onto us?"

"Nah, Blueblood probably hates the idea of Ponyville in general. I'm guessin' he doesn't want anyone but Canterlot ponies in."

"So that means there'll be more further in?" Twilight asked timidly.

"Only one way to find out!" Rainbow asked as she trotted towards the kitchen entrance. The ponies transporting boxes must have finished as it was vacant around the door. It was a large double back door, so they both peeked through the circular windows into the kitchen.

To say it was big was an understatement. This kitchen could've easily rivalled the Princesses'. It was completely immaculate, polished silverware hung from countless cupboards and railings, a long strip of ovens lined one side, while fridges, counters and sinks lined the other. In the middle row were occasional protrusions, like another counter or utensil storage. It was, characteristically, a corridor of cooking paradise, representing nothing the outside made it look like. Twilight spotted two other sets of doors, one at the far end of the corridor, the other halfway down- leading into the main hall. She assumed the far end doors were what lead to the upper deck, where her vantage point would be.

Sadly, that meant getting through the chef ponies working the kitchen. There was at least three in sight, many more would come through shortly once orders were made. They needed to handle them quickly before more came back.

"So, how we gonna handle them?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"You're asking me?"

"You're the brains, I'm just here to look awesome!" She retaliated boastfully.

"Ugh. Erm, I guess we could make a distraction?" Twilight hoped Rainbow could expand.

Rainbow Dash knocked on the door.

"Rainbow!" Twilight shouted in a hushed tone. "What are you doing?"

Rainbow didn't reply, but instead grabbed Twilight and kept her and herself pinned to the side of the door.

"It's open!" Cried one of the voices inside. Rainbow simply knocked again, being the one closest to the door. "Oh, for Celestia's sake, do you guys need help again?" The voice was now understandable as a mare, hoofsteps developing in volume. Twilight's heart rate was threatening to be louder, and faster, when the door swung open, another earth pony, a coat of green, attired with a traditional kitchen staff uniform.

"Hey, where ar-...". The mare was pummelled into the ground and almost fell into the main street had Rainbow Dash not been boldly subduing her. She was forcing her mouth closed to suppress any shouting with her hooves, while obtaining a rope from her saddlebags with help from the tips of her wings.

"Huh? What was that noise?" Came a faint voice from inside the kitchen.

They were now on opposing sides of the door as Rainbow whispered with effort, "another coming!" before resuming to tie up the ill-fated mare. The rope was large enough to act as a gag, but Rainbow was still trying to get her to stay still, leaving Twilight with the remaining foe.

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! Twilight frenziedly felt through her saddle bags, failing to find anything that would be appropriate for the situation. If only I had the cloak on! Negligently, the cloak had all of her 'tools' like the Clairifier or tater-tots.

She was forced to use her magic as the blue unicorn buck trotted through the doors. For once, Twilight was not immobilized, instead running off adrenaline as she cast a magic neutralizing spell with quick thinking. Unable to do much but stagger, the stallion was then shot-gunned back in a torrent of wind flowing from Twilight's horn. He would have certainly fell into the street, exposing the brawl, had not Rainbow Dash caught him and began the restraining process. Her work finished with the other mare, Rainbow proceeded to tie up the next victim using the excess of the first rope for a gag, and a smaller second rope for his arms and legs.

Staring at the two, still fidgeting, chefs, Twilight could hardly believe what had happened. It had all seemed so quick, and better yet, easy. Her heart was still pumping, except not out of fear, but pride at her skills. Is this why Rainbow Dash is always so pumped, so energized? The defeated ponies were being dragged by Rainbow Dash as Twilight speculated her new-found rush, and then were boxed by her. Literally. Hidden by a large cardboard box that once contained table parts.

"Nice job Twi-... er, T." Rainbow said as she glanced at the shuffling box and dusting her hooves after stacking the furniture components to one side.

Twilight thought about Rainbow's words and understood. It would probably be best to not use their real names, the working class of the mansion were almost certainly from Ponyville.

"Right, thanks, one more right?" Twilight was baffled that nopony somehow didn't investigate, she was convinced that she didn't exactly have the most stealthy of take-downs. "How did you learn to knot like that anyway? AJ?"

"Yep! Taught me a few ways to tie up ponies, I always needed it. You should ask her sometime."

The duo cantered back along to the door and peered inside. There he was. Unmoved. The odd-looking pale green coat, orange mane combo was casually checking through a storage closet next to the upper deck door, their target. He seemed strangely oblivious to what had just happened, Twilight's actions were not subtle, why did he not seem to care, or notice?

His cutie mark of a triple set of gym weights may have had something to do with it. The stallion was bigger than their previous encounter with the security stallion. This buck also had a more prominent muscular physique, neither of the mares wanted to get in a fight with him. However, they soon spotted an edge they may have over him as he dropped the tools he was removing, stubbed his toe and banged his head off of the hanging equipment before falling face-first on to the ground.

"I have a feeling he may not be too bright." Twilight said as the heavy stallion clumsily re-gained his footing.

"Ya think?" Rainbow retorted. "I think I have an idea. Well, maybe more of a 'lets see what happens if...'."

"Are you su-..." Rainbow walked into the kitchen haphazardly, pulling Twilight with her.

"Follow my lead... again." Rainbow said, gently muffled.

As they walked up to the large pony, Twilight noticed the complete lack of anxiety she was feeling. Was she really getting used to this that quickly? Twilight was relishing the excitement the job brought, rather than hoping it would end. This was what Applejack meant, am I really in this for the book anymore?

"Wassup broseph?" Rainbow Dash inquired as Twilight cringed at her language.

"Err. Hey! Noponies 'sposed to be here." Was the deep and slow reply, his name-tag was labelled 'Dumbbell'.

"Naw, it's cool, we're the extra security for Fancypants' reserved top deck. Just goin' up there now, running late."

"But tha boss said Fancy-pony ordered it off-limits to everypony." He was still remarkably dim-witted, but he could follow orders, and had a good point.

"Ok, you got us, we're actually running late for our light show, we're on in ten minutes! We're really sorry, but this audience is gonna' be real riled up if they don't get their show, right, er... Spectrum Sparkle?"

"Huh? Oh, right..." Twilight caught on eventually. "...yep, we've got a, er, a r-rockin' time for those ponies, wouldn't want them to miss out!" Twilight, or 'Spectrum' briefly flashed a prismatic spread of multi-colours onto the dark ceiling. Applejack once again was right, being talented with magic aided her mission an awful lot, and Dumbbell seemed convinced.

"That looks awesome! Hurry on up! I'll be cheerin' for ya'!" Dumbbell guffawed, failing to contain his enthusiasm for the fake show.

"Thanks!" The two happily said in unison as they trotted through the door and began up the stairs, leaving Dumbbell in his state of cheerfulness.

"I kinda want to give him the light show now." Twilight said honestly. "He seemed really nice, a little goofy, but friendly."

"We'll give him a show all-right!" Rainbow Dash said as they reached the top of the stairs, opening up into a secluded, but fairly large top deck. There were a few rows of seats overlooking down on the main hall, as well as several tables scattered around, likely for meals during the show. It was carpeted red, a calm ambiance settled over the area.

Rainbow whistled, "Fan-cy. We still got some time left, lets take a look at the hall." Twilight nodded and walked over to the low wall that acted as a barrier to prevent falling. They both carefully looked over the wall and took in the spectacle before them. A wide stage was the most eye-catching sight, laid directly ahead of them. It held multiple instruments and some ponies tuning and preparing their instruments. A slate-grey earth pony mare with a black mane held a large cello on one side, a mint green unicorn with a lyre adorned the other, both lightly plucking their strings to test the sounds. Twilight almost regretted having to ruin such an amazing looking line-up.

Twilight and Rainbow began putting on their cloaks and preparing their equipment as they continued to observe.

In front of the stage were more regular set out tables, except these had ponies on them. The venue was relatively full, everypony sat, some drinking or talking with friends, enjoying the vibrant atmosphere and bright mood. The stage was small by comparison to the main floor, especially as the full floor wasn't visible. Twilight could see Rarity and Fancypants sitting at a table, one closest to the stage. As far as Rarity knew, Fancypants was simply invited to attend, and did not have a hand in setting it up. To her it was completely by chance that they were both invited, even if she suspected something, she wouldn't want to risk her friendship with Fancypants over such accusations without proof.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, I am pleased to have the honor of presenting to you, your beloved Prince Blueblood!" An unknown voice called through the speakers either side of the stage as an easy tune from the small ensemble of musicians accompanied Prince Blueblood's progression to centre stage. Twilight swore she heard a scoff. He was dressed much like how Rarity described him at the Grand Galloping Gala, very formal attire, if one could look past his personality he would be quite the Prince Charming.

"Show-time." Whispered Rainbow, the outfits were complete and it was time for Blueblood's atonement. Befriending Dumbbell proved useful, he may have been keeping the staff from 'bothering the important light-show ponies'. Twilight now needed to figure out how she would handle this.

"Greetings, my loyal subjects," Blueblood announced royally, then clearing his throat to read the next card of text. "It is my pleasure to welcome you all to this..." Blueblood paused with a look of disgust on his face. "Charity fund-raiser?!" Blueblood exclaimed questioningly and loud. "Y-yes, fund-raiser for..." He spoke through gritted teeth. "...charity..." He composed himself and resumed as Twilight devised a plan.

"Rainbow! Take these," Twilight said as she handed her an assortment of tater-tots, "...place them in some of those apple pies you've got, fly above Prince Blueblood and stick to that patch of darkness above the stage," Twilight pointed to the pitch-black area, just beyond the skylight. "When I give a signal, release them from under your wings onto Blueblood, then it'll be my turn." Twilight smiled, patting her self on the back mentally.

"All-right!" Rainbow smiled with joy. "You can count on me!" With that, Rainbow shot off promptly, but smoothly. She hugged the more shaded areas of the walls as she stayed high and moved towards the stage roof. As soon as she reached the target zone, she poked her head out of the darkness and winked before receding back. She was perfectly hidden, now it was up to Twilight.

Clairifier out, eclair loaded. Twilight had a single remaining tater-tot, red, and indented a hole in the eclair to place it in. One shot, one chance. A single miss would lead to Blueblood escaping to protect his image, as he had when using Rarity as a shield for another oncoming foodstuff. Twilight cast a very faint light from the tip of her horn.

Would Rainbow understand that this was the signal?

She waited.

She held her breath.

Then it was as if time stood still. Two pies jutted out of the darkness, faced down in perfect accuracy. One landed on his rump, as the other soaked his neck, shortly after they blazed his coat with smells, colours and substances. All alike, yet different in their own way. His entire torso had a new coat of dripping wet, putrid essence. Those stink tots sure were powerful. Blueblood could barely contain his trauma, almost breaking out into a fit of sobbing. He was lashing around, trying to free himself from his new second-skin. No luck. The sticky growths only dispersed further as he struggled.

All in three seconds.

But it wasn't over yet.

Twilight aimed at Blueblood. Directly at his horn to compensate for minor drop from range. One eye closed, telekinetic grip steadied.

She breathed.

And forced the trigger backward, holding her shoulder against the recoil as the tot-enhanced eclair propelled at its target. That was the worst time Blueblood could have chosen to look up. His image was completed as the very instant the eclair kissed his nose, he was cemented with a mix of red and white- paint and cream. He was cocooned in layers of nauseating goop. His movements were restricted as the layers hardened, causing him to stumble over and slip on the same texture, hitting the floor.

Then Blueblood's anger was only contained by his anguish. "My mane! My perfectly groomed mane! Dishevelled and sloppy! I'm no better than a common Ponyville urchin!" Blueblood ran around, never deciding on a decision as he kept falling. The audience's responses were more somewhat jovial. Laughter from every corner of the room pierced Blueblood's ego like shards of ice, tearing away at his ego. Yet, no matter how badly Blueblood wanted this nightmare over, the next most worst possible thing happened.

The press.

Journalists, photographers and rowdy reporters alike were hurdling up onto the stage, snapshots taken, pointless questions asked and all the while, the laughter would not cease. Insults were thrown, a higher concentration coming from Fancypants' table, mixed with the most blatant laughing from a certain mare.

Then Blueblood snapped. Straight down the middle.

"STOP IT! ALL OF YOU!" Blueblood broke into tears to partner his rage. "You delinquent punks know nothing of my image! My intelligence! My power! Do you know what I could do to you all?" Blueblood coughed from the abusive smells and tastes. "This so-called 'Canterlot Elite' are degenerate shams of ponies! You don't deserve a pony so elegant, refined and cultured as me as your Prince!"

The laughs did not stop. Canterlot's finest cherished the opportunity to ridicule the one that many had always wanted to. They finally had an excuse, and a piece of fun in their usual impervious feeling lives. Rarity was rolling on the floor, laughing despite how her mane was being treated by the floor. Fancypants was helping to support her, but could not suppress his own amusement at how successfully it had turned out.

And then time restarted. Blueblood had spotted the cloaked Twilight and her empty weapon. "There! Get that pony!" Security!" Twilight quickly ducked behind the low wall, disassembled the weapon to better fold it into her cloak. She turned her head at the sound of the kitchen doors bursting open, ponies charging up the stairs. The thunderous booming of hooves acting as a chorus that would lead to Twilight's imminent downfall.

"Hey! Jump on!" The sound of Rainbow's voice washed relief over Twilight, and she quickly sprung onto her back after turning to her. She used a minor levitation spell to lessen the load Rainbow would have to carry, and held on to Rainbow's neck for dear life.

Instantly she felt the wind through her mane, adding to the release of tension.

But then it was back. Twilight spotted a single pegasus security pony, clearly Blueblood preferred the company of earth and unicorn's only, some sort of qualm with Cloudsdale? She tried to call to Rainbow to warn her, but the ever-increasing wind would not let up, raising to an almost deafening volume. "RAINBOW!" She would not be able to get her attention, there was enough turbulence to let Twilight's shaking of her go unnoticed. All the while the security pegasus closing the gap between them. That nostalgic feeling of dread returned, all cold and sharp.

And then there was Derpy.

The mailmare emerged from the clouds, rising valiantly as a true knight in shining armour for Twilight. That was until she smacked into the pursuing pegasus, knocking them both out of the sky, tumbling down gracelessly.

Well, that works.

Rainbow finally turned back to check on her, lowering the altitude and slowing, easing the wind resistance. "You say something Twilight?"

"Oh, er, just: mission accomplished!"

Chapter 5: The Prize

Rainbow Dash came in to land smoothly, for once, her hooves gently touching the increasingly saturated dirt floor. It had begun to rain rather heavily on the remainder of the short trip back- the pegasus ponies were always disorganised, much to both of the mares apprehension. It was getting increasingly dark and therefore perfect timing for them to both get a helping of well-earned sleep. They had successfully outran any pursuers chasing them with help from the mystical mailmare, but Twilight was still replaying the events over in her head.

How in Equestria did that go so well? The location and plan seemed so complex, yet little to no problems occurred. Got in, hit target, got out. Was that really all there was to it? Could any of them have recognised me? The cloak did an amazing job of shielding her identity, she remembered, and although Twilight found many more friends coming to Ponyville, she was still more individualistic socially than the rest of her friends. Not a chance somepony would recall her features. Did anypony follow me? The disorganised weather team would have made that an impossibility. The dark sky, littered with clouds, and now rain, combined with Rainbow's speed could've left the Wonderbolts lost. Twilight racked her brain to find any possible slip-up they could have, anything to bring her down a bit, but came up empty. She was forced to accept that what she had just done was thrilling, heart-pounding, and... fun?

Great, I'm Rainbow Dash. We just pulled off a completely flawless and daring mission, and I can't get over how great it was! Heck, how great I was! Twilight was scowling in her mind, but her body couldn't stop quivering with excitement, her mouth barely containing a huge grin.

"Told ya it would be fine! Can't get that much adventure from your books, can you Twilight?" Rainbow paused. "Well, maybe in Daring-Do." Rainbow stopped bragging long enough to shake a whopping amount of water from her mane in Twilight's direction. "Oh, erm, oops." The purple mare's hanging mane was parted in order to reveal an unamused face. "We should split up, can't let anypony see us go back to Pinkie's, so imma head home, see ya tomorrow for the reward!" Rainbow called out as she flew off as quickly as they had arrived.

Twilight decided to return home as well, not like she had a choice, which was close enough from where she was dropped off. She cantered to the library, but all hope was lost of absconding from the rain, as she entered dripping. Her mane and tail soaked, with her saddlebags imitating them. Now would be the perfect time for bed, had Spike not been waiting patiently for her return, sitting on the same couch when this episode of her life started.

He was reading, a new hobby that must have spouted from living in a library his whole life, something along the same pacing as Daring-Do titled: "The Adventures of Honeydew and Xephos: Return to the Yogcave". Naturally, Twilight would prefer Spike to be reading something more academically structured, but at least this was better than having him read "Resistance: Fall of Equine". Last time Spike had attempted that he couldn't sleep for weeks.

Spike briskly popped his head from the book to greet Twilight, scrunching her hair into a towel. "Hey Twilight! So how'd it go?" A number of descriptions went through Twilight's head, stunning, heart-pounding, brilliant, an astounding adrenaline-rush..., until she settled on one that would confirm her Rainbow-Dashification:

"Awesome!" Twilight had no need to conceal her emotions from Spike, no matter how much she wanted to or if it was possible, as they had known each other for the majority of their entire lives.

"Knew it! Any trouble? Did you get Blueblood good? Anypony see you?" Spike was eagerly awaiting Twilight's response for each question until he interrupted her with another.

"A little, yes, and not really. Rainbow helped me through getting in, took out most of the guards for me, Blueblood was crying by the end of it with pictures being took from every angle, and they only noticed the cloak, not me!" Twilight expanded on each of her points with pride. She finished towelling off her hair and checked her saddlebags for any damage.

"Congrats, Twilight! Now you can finally get that book an' forget about all this..." Spike paused. "Right?" He asked with a clear smirk on his face.

No.

"Erm, yeah, I suppose. B-but, you know, I might have some spare time and i-if they just happen to have another one then...". Twilight paused to stop herself from flushing any more crimson than was allowed, and to resume speaking normally. Clearly, Spike was not buying her story. They both knew how much fun she had, her desire for another rush like that, and how hopeless she was at lying, almost worse than Applejack. "Fine. I really, really, would LOVE to do something like that again, maybe without as much risk though."

"There's always new stuff poppin' up, we might get to do one together! Every contract always has a back-up partner!" Spike said excitedly.

"No offence Spike, but I think I'd need someone with more experience, I've still got a lot of screw-ups to go."

"Hey! I've had experience! Just not as much as the others..." Spike ended slightly insulted and hurt.

"Exactly, as soon as I've had some practise I'd be more than happy to have you as my partner! I just don't want us to be the ones to bring down everything. If they caught me, Celestia's reputation could be ruined! Her protégé can't be seen doing things like this!" Twilight began her whole 'I'm doomed' rant.

"Ok, ok, Twilight I understand. Don't get too worked up about it, the Black Hoof will always be there to support you, and with the new spells you could learn from that Starswirl book you'd be impossible to catch! I'll get there tomorrow to pick up the book and bring it back here, pretty sure they'll want to see you first thing in the morning as well!"

"Ugh. Sleep first. Owlowiscious!" Twilight called out, and within seconds her junior assistant flew in from the kitchen, a few hayfries in mid-swallow.

"Hoo!" Came the accustomed answer.

"Could you put these saddlebags between bookshelves two-a and two-b? I'd prefer to keep them hidden until tomorrow."

"Hoo!" Owlowiscious had the strength to lift the set of double saddlebags by the strap, and hid them in the designated zone.

"Thanks!" Twilight glanced at her clock. Only nine o'clock. Close enough. "I'm going off to bed now, can one of you make sure I'm up before ten?"

"Sure, night Twilight!"

"Hoo!"

"Night guys!" Twilight called as she trotted up the stairs drowsily, it may have been early, but it had felt like one of Twilight's longest days since arriving from Canterlot. Now she could finally have a peaceful sleep, free of worry from impending crimes she might have to commit. She was asleep in minutes as she climbed into bed, content with her work and outcome.

The sunlight from the new day somehow managed to awkwardly position itself through the slight division of the curtains, to rest upon Twilight's eyes, waking her with irritation. It seemed Celestia was doing this on purpose. Five more minutes...

Her annoyance, however, would continue to grow as she heard the words she was fearing.

"Twilight! Time to get up!" Why did these words always sound like she was being called for an execution? She shifted slightly, but nothing more. Maybe he'll leave me alone if I... "Twi-light!" No, of course not...

"I'm up! I'm up!" Twilight mustered up the strength to arise from her, unfortunately, cozy bed to begin her natural phases after waking up. The clock read nine o'clock. Twelve hours isn't good enough.

After finishing the stages needed to make herself presentable, Twilight proceeded downstairs and gathered the saddlebags after having a quick substitute for breakfast, leftover salad and an apple, then decided to go straight to Pinkie's with Spike.

The day appeared as a usual one in Ponyville, the previous heavy rain allowed the casting of a rainbow from the pegasi, which complemented the beautiful sunny day well. Everypony was going about their normal lives, nothing out of the ordinary, until Twilight and Spike spotted Rarity carrying a few bags of fabrics and sewing materials. It would have been normal routine for her, except for the excessive smile bound to the mare's face.

"Wonder what Rarity's so happy about?" Spike asked sarcastically, "should we go see what's up?"

"Well, I would like to gauge her reaction on last night's events. If she asks, I was in the library the entire night!"

"When AREN'T you?" Spike snickered.

"Good point, if I may offer a rebuttal, shut up." Twilight intelligently put before they both walked up to Rarity, sorting through her bags.

"Good morning, Rarity!" Twilight offered as the fashionista looked up to see the friendly faces, still smiling giddily.

"Why, hello Twilight, Spike!" Rarity spoke cheerfully.

"You seem in high spirits today, anything happen?" Twilight wondered aloud, already knowing the answer.

"Well! Now that you mention it..." Rarity savoured the opportunity to express her enjoyment, "...you remember 'Prince' Blueblood, yes? The catastrophe of a stallion I so foolishly believed to be my Prince Charming?"

They both nodded in reply.

"Well, while I realise it may be a fraction unladylike to gloat at ones enemies, that oaf was completely debunked at a social call I happened to attend here in Ponyville. Some masked, 'vigilante', if you will, completely encrusted him with a number of vile materials! I can't imagine he'll be stepping out of the shower any-time soon! Better yet, is it was all captured by reporters!" Rarity paused to take out a copy of the Equestrian Enquirer newspaper and offered it to Twilight. "Here, take a copy, I've bought seven!"

Twilight took the newspaper and made a start reading the first page. "Prince Blueblood Royally Creamed." Twilight read audibly. "Patrons at Lord Champag-Neigh's charity fundraiser today were in for a drastic change of events as what started as a show of musical talent and performances, turned into complete carnage for Prince Blueblood, a well-known Canterlot socialite, as he was assaulted with a number of dessert eatables." Twilight looked at Spike who was successfully containing his need for laughter and boasting, while a faint smile was being repressed on Twilight's. "One eye-witness described the events as: "satisfying, entertaining and hilarious".

"Oh! That was me!" Rarity broke in with liveliness.

"He deserved it, if you ask me." Said Spike, gaining a glance of approval from Rarity.

Twilight continued. "Investigators and some witnesses suspect the involvement of the infamous 'Black Hoof'. Their trademark outfit hinted at this as the cloak was spotted escaping with the help of a pegasus."

"The full story is inside, you keep that one, I need to pin up these ones." Rarity said as she shook her bag full of materials and papers. "I must be off, work to do, ta-ta dears!"

"See ya, Rarity!" Spike called.

"Bye Rarity!" Twilight said, as they went their separate ways.

"Best. Contract. Ever." Spike said with delight.

"Hey, Mr. Cake! Is Pinkie here?"

"Hello there, Twilight, Spike, she's just in the basement I think. Come on through." Mr. Cake said as he lifted the table to grant entry to the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner. "So, are you here for the Black Hoof?"

"Oh, you know, huh?" Twilight asked, still nervous as she had given it away if he didn't.

"I'd be surprised if he didn't, Twilight, they are kinda on top of the base." Said Spike.

"Yep, me and my wife keep it secret for Pinkie, its no trouble and we have loads of space for our ingredients down there." Mr. Cake then lead them to the basement and opened a wooden hatch in the middle of the floor, revealing a gentle slope of rock and dirt into the tunnels. "Well, good luck with whatever is going on down there, you sure caused a stir with that Blueblood thing."

"All-right, thanks Mr. Cake!" Twilight and Spike left Mr. Cake to close the hatch behind them as they worked their way to the main room of the 'sanctuary', the group's one safe retreat. Twilight was getting used to the atmosphere of the tunnels, they were dark, damp and confined, but they hadn't fallen on her yet, so they seemed safe. The air also felt fresher than usual, some circulation must have been added. Twilight came to the main living room, and found that there was a fair amount of talking going on amongst the inhabitants. Currently, there was Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Discord and now Twilight and Spike.

"There she is! Mare of the hour! I never thought I would see the day when YOU, Twilight Sparkle joined a group as... alluringly chaotic!" Discord made Twilight's introduction for her, sparking everyone else to exchange greetings.

"Ah'm guessing you'll be wantin' yer book now then?" Applejack announced proudly as Pinkie rushed off to get it.

"Yes! Please! I can't wait to see all of the new studies that Starswirl might not of mentioned! Special types of illusion and-..." Twilight stopped as she saw Applejack's look of confusion.

"Yeah, ah'm not followin', but ah hope it was worth it."

"He- yoo go!" Pinkie said around a mouthful of the book, before spitting it into Twilight's telekinetic grasp. "Bleugh! That's a lot of dust!" Pinkie said as she wiped of her tongue erratically.

"Careful Pinkie! This must be decades old!" Twilight said as she felt through the books pages and bindings. Dust emerged from almost every touch, but enough was wiped off to present it with a simple front cover of black, with an indented font labelling it 'Recording's From My Library: Shadow, Manipulation and Psychological Spell Edition'. Twilight couldn't keep hold of herself. Written by THE Starswirl the Bearded, unedited, untouched. Raw detail from one of her magic idols, maybe it would contain some of his famous dry wit inside?

"So, you said you just wanted to leave before all this started once you had the book. Still thinkin' that, Twilight?" Rainbow asked smugly, pulling Twilight out of her stupor.

Twilight grunted, angry, everypony already knew how much she enjoyed it, yet they still insisted on asking her. "No! Of course not! You were all right from the start! It is awesome being part of this! Congratulations! Now stop asking me!"

Everypony was silent, leaving Twilight breathing heavily.

"You owe me ten bits, Discord." Rainbow Dash broke the silence.

"Twilight the bookworm? Joining the Black Hoof? Ugh, fine, it's times like this I'm glad I don't have the use of my arms. Or any need of currency."

"Ah realise this may be a bit fast, but how'd ya like to be mah backup fer the next contract? We got quite a bit of time before then, so y'all can read your book fer a while first. And your choice of reward, either bits, or we'll see what Fancypants can get."

"Who's the target?" Twilight asked, unsure because of how short-notice it was.

"Remember our friends, the Flim Flam brothers?"

Chapter 7: Contract II, Prototype, Part 2

"Ordinance! Load in some X-W.H.I.P. rounds!" Twilight ordered over the rapid beeping of electronics, flashing of warning symbols and overall chaotic noise surrounding her.

"Yes ma'am!" The cerulean coloured stallion complied, jumping over the smooth white décor and computer equipment. Ponies desperately ran around, seemingly in no particular order, to carry out their assigned duties to keep the spaceship, her spaceship, operational.

"Auto! Lock coordinates onto sector fifteen, we need to jump the foxtrot relay!" Twilight again commanded, this time to a terrified-looking mare. Panic was surging through the command deck, muffled explosions and screaming could be heard coming from exiting corridors and stairwells.

"Sparkle!" Came the voice of her commander through a holographic screen that now shone onto one of the spacious cockpit's walls.

"Yes sir!" Twilight quickly conformed, momentarily pausing the mashing of important apparatus to face the moving picture of her ragged, worn-down superior.

"You need to get those ponies out of there, we've got confirmed marshmallow frigates inbound!" The commander managed to inform prior to his screen turning to static.

"Oh, Celestia, save us." Twilight speedily turned towards the sealed metal shutters. "Blinds! Lemme see what we're up against!"

The brown mare hastily ran and furiously pushed buttons adjacent to Twilights acquired target. The shimmering, large silver screen was hoisted above the window, which then assured their fears. A battalion of flying marshmallows, locked onto Twilight's ship, burning the empty vast black space behind them as they blasted at the vulnerable vessel.

Multi-coloured streams of marshmallow coated the window, eliminating the view and threatening to burn through the reinforced glass before the automatic ship response had them sealed.

"Great work EDI, can you give me any good news?"

"Negative, Sparkle. Odds of success are diminishing rapidly, and I am receiving frequencies from below decks that the Applecores have breached the loading bay." The AI stated matter-of-factly.

"Dammit! Have Applejack finish those shield calibrations, we need to prepare for the jump, and we can't do that with an engine blocked with marshmallow!" Twilight searched for anything of possible significance at her controls, any way she could slow down the impending assault on her home-world.

"Receiving a message from Corporal Applejack now, Sparkle, patching you through."

"Fire the whipped cream cannon! Anything to slow them down! Fire team, respond!" Came Applejack's unmistakable voice followed by the drone of machinery locking into place. The orange mare in the screen was sweating as red lights flew around her, until she looked through the screen at Twilight with relief. "Twilight! Thank Celestia!"

"Applejack! What's going on down there?!" Twilight asked while fiddling with some more controls at her station.

"You tell me, Twi, it's your dream."

"Wha-?"

Twilight timidly stirred in her sleep, her hooves bringing a squishy, soft object closer to her snout. Her eyes were heavy, so she decided it was best to let them win for now, going back to munching the object.

Wait, what?

Twilight suddenly defeated the tempting eye gods to expose herself chewing a pillow. Drool was running down the left side of her cheek and, upon taking it out of her mouth, revealed a large damp mark on what she though must have been a 'tasty marshmallow'.

She reached a hoof into her mouth, and pulled out a single hair, before turning the pillow over and launching her face back into its comfy embrace.

Alas, sleep would not come for the purple mare, possibly as she wanted to find out what happened next in the glorious space epic. As well as that, the dried drool was becoming incredibly annoying on her cheek, she felt the need to clean it now more than ever.

*Scratch, scratch*

Not good enough. Twilight lifted the sheets drowsily, attempting to put as little effort in as possible. She rose slowly and had a scan of the cabin. Applejack seemed to be missing for now, and the very early hours of the morning were shining through into the cabin. She had guessed about five in the morning, another hour until Manehattan, as Applejack returned, pushing a small cart with a tray on top.

"Mornin', Twi."

Twilight grunted a vague reply of: "Uh."

"Not a mornin' pony, are ya?" The lavender mare was too busy rubbing the sleep from her eyes to respond. "Good thing ah got us some coffee."

Twilight perked up at the sound of this, and both mares enjoyed the refreshing taste. For now it would have to prove a substitute for toothpaste. Coffee flavoured toothpaste. Hmm. Her claim to fame quickly vanished as the familiar feeling of thick enamel plastered her teeth.

The remaining hour trip was spent in relative calmness. When she wasn't talking to Applejack, Twilight was in awe at the marvels Manehattan had to offer as the urban city came into view. It was far, far larger than Ponyville. That became more of an understatement as the actual buildings came into view. What Twilight could only describe as hundred-floor behemoths reflected the rising sunlight beautifully, each colossal structure abundantly more substantial than the last. It was hard to believe ponies actually lived here, no houses were visible- Fluttershy would be greatly out of place.

Eventually, the train arrived on time: six o'clock, and Applejack procured a basic map of the few mile radius from the station. It was when Applejack hailed a taxi carriage that they spotted another of Manehattan's 'wonders': there was traffic everywhere. Clearly, if you were not a pegasus, you shouldn't expect to get anywhere on time. The streets were mixes of narrow, packed roads, which somehow, in an instant, could turn into broad, multiple route, highways.

The prominent, Bronclyn accent could be heard clearer than the roar of hoofsteps as individual cabbies shouted profanity at one another, causing Twilight and Applejack to shy away from the roads and pretend to do something by searching through their bags. To the drivers credit, the stallion navigated well through the legion of other vehicles and managed to arrive at the destination generally fast. The fare was surprisingly payable, which was a stroke of good luck, as they had no idea how much the motel would cost.

The motel was small, especially when compared to its neighbouring buildings, but hopefully this would be an indicator of the price. It also helped that its paint was decayed, walls dented and almost all windows were barred up. Overall, the grey, dingy, two-floor mess wasn't pretty.

"It is open, right?" Twilight asked as she cringed.

"To be honest, Twi, I'm not sure this place is even a motel." Applejack replied. There was no sign indicating as such, so the only way to find out was to enter.

Inside was remarkably better maintained than outside, but they both disliked the thought of staying here. If one word could be used to describe it, brown, would be the only option. Furniture: brown. Walls: brown. Carpet: brown. The air even smelled of wood. It was possibly the dullest place she had ever seen, and she lived in a library.

"Can I help you?" Voiced an elderly mare from behind a wore-down reception desk. She had a displeased look on her face, and paid more attention to the magazine laying on the desk than to the two mares that approached her. She had a brown coat, shockingly, and a grey mane.

"Uh, yeah," Applejack spoke up, "Is this a motel?"

"S'what it says on the front, don't it?" The crotchety mare replied.

"Er, actually, no. There wasn't a sign." Twilight corrected.

"Oh for..." The old mare stood up slowly, opened a door next to her and began to shout. "JIM! THE SIGN'S FELL AGAIN!" She then sat back down in silence for a several seconds.

After what felt like an eternity of awkwardness, another elderly pony, a stallion who was completely grey, came through the reception entry with a ladder placed on his back, almost barely fitting through. Everypony watched him noiselessly, as he did the same, swerving around the desk and exiting. The aged mare resumed reading.

"So, uh, how much for one night, two beds?" Applejack questioned.

The owner, they presumed, regarded them for some time. As if there wasn't any price system, it was based on how much their faces annoyed her. She looked up and down the mares, crumpling her face with more wrinkles.

"Eh. Fifty bits."

They couldn't tell whether it was a good deal, or a rip-off, but for one night they didn't really care to search anywhere else. They forked over the bits, and received a key labelled simply: 'Two'.

"Thanks!" Applejack said, to which came no acknowledgement. It was probably best to not initiate a conversation anyway. They headed for the broken stair case, creaking as they went up, and saw a sign: '1-4'. They explored the hallway leading from the stairs, and by using math, found the number two after one.

The room was exactly like the carriage, just, more brown, and the addition of a bathroom. Another two beds, a table, some candles. An amazing feature was the window, an aesthetic view of a white wall. At least it broke up some of the brownness.

"What d'ya think?" Applejack inquired.

"It'll do. When does Equestrian Innovations open?" Twilight requested, eager to dive head first into the mission.

"Uhhm," Applejack drawled, scanning the room and found a small digital clock resting on the table, it seemed out of place in the room full of dusty, antique appliances. It read '6:45'. "An hour an' fifteen minutes from now, we should probably head out for the nine o'clock tour though. Don't see why anypony would camp outside jus' fer a tour right when they open."

"Sure, well, I need to use the bathroom, hopefully they have a toothbrush in there."

"Ah doubt it, but good luck with that."

To Twilight's relief, there was. Except, the bristles were yellow. Twilight was no hygienic expert, but she knew that it was best to, if not destroy, leave the brush alone. Avoiding that, she went back into the main room and began reading Starswirl, that native feeling of time looming over her.

Twilight had expected Equestrian Innovations to have an impressive headquarters, possibly the finest in Manehattan, but the actual thing was incomparable to those thoughts. The leviathan that stood in front of the two, mostly-rural, mares dominated its brothers. Even Celestia's mighty sun struggled to demonstrate itself as it was shadowed by the metallic monster.

In other words, it was big. Not just tall, but far-reaching. Windows diffused the entire building, each silver, modern square backed up by another hundred. The entrance, thankfully, was easy to spot. There were two opposed revolving doors, and in-between them were three sets of double doors. High-class looking business ponies went in and out. It must have been normal to the everyday Manehattanites, but to Twilight and Applejack, it was crazy; there was probably more ponies in that one building than all the inhabitants of Ponyville.

And they were supposed to be sneaky.

"So, shall we go say 'hi'?" Twilight queried with a nervous smile. They had got there just five minutes before the tour at nine, thanks to the complexity of the roads leading here. In hindsight, the target should have been obviously apparent because of its size.

"Ah guess, unless we wanna be late, an' ah don't think we need any extra attention."

They trotted up to the entrance, almost being engulfed by the mass of ponies as they came towards the entries. The two mares ended up at separate entrances, Twilight scraping through a revolving door, while Applejack accessed a set of double doors. They must have anticipated the amount of entrants, so they expanded accordingly.

The Ponyvllians met up and looked over their surroundings. Immaculate, polished white walls and flooring lay around various plants and displays of the company's crowning achievements. There were banners of both previous and future projects, but nothing said about Flim and Flam's prototype. The floors were checkered, but only differentiated by shades of white. There was chrome outlines around windows and signs, giving the entire place a futuristic atmosphere.

As they were admiring the layout, Twilight read out one of the signs. "Research and development, employees only." The sign pointed up a set of gleaming white stairs, and then at the top of those stairs, left, aimed towards an opening that became invisible to the mares.

"Ah'm guessin' that's where we're headin' then, ain't it?" Twilight nodded. "Then ah'll have a look up there to see how we're 'sposed to get through. Try an' find the tour guide, ah'll be right back."

"Got it!" It felt much clearer to be following somepony else's orders on getting the job done, rather than making it up as she went along like with Blueblood. She glanced around the ultra-modern reception as Applejack made her way up the stairs. There was many business-ponies talking on phones or to each other, wearing classy suits of black and different coloured ties. There were also some tourists taking snapshots of everything, she could probably ask them for directions to the tour guide, but she had already found her way to Twilight.

"Welcome to Equestrian Innovations! Are you looking for a tour?" The tan coated mare investigated. She was wearing an advertised Equestrian Innovations shirt with a blond mane.

"O-oh, y-yeah, yeah!" She had no reason to be nervous, unless she was going to directly confront the tour guide about the best way to steal her company's plans, yet still she was a sociable mess if there was any hint of deception.

"Great! Please follow me to the others!" Twilight looked back to the stairs as Applejack came down, and signalled the orange pony with a hoof. Twilight had hoped the cowpony spotted her before she turned back and followed the mare to the tour start.

"Now that we have a substantial amount of participants, I'd like to be the first to welcome you all to Equestrian Innovations, leading Equestria in the ways of scientific development and creation." The guide repeated as she must have done so many times in the past.

"Psst." Applejack whispered as she suddenly joined the tour. "We need a key card to get through."

"A key card? Doesn't that seem a bit... retro?" Twilight responded in the same tone.

"Ah dunno, but ah think ah've found one already." Applejack pointed towards the guide as she walked away, leading the other tourists towards a banner. Attached to the mare's company shirt, dangling off of the side of her flank was a square card. Considering she was an employee, it was most likely what they needed. "But ah dunno how we're gonna get it." Applejack said with a sheepish smile.

"Easy!" Twilight confirmed. "Just talk to her, ask her about this place and I'll 'borrow' it while she's distracted." Twilight clapped her hooves together with pride.

"Sounds good, let's give it a shot." They both walked up to the tour guide, but Twilight began to hold back as the conversation was initiated. "Er, 'scuse me, miss, but ah was just wonderin' when Equestrian Innovations started? Ah heard it was founded a while ago, but Manehattan is relatively new to Equestria."

Applejack was good at this whole 'disguise' thing, one might think she was actually interested. The guide began, with a new-found energy, she must have somehow enjoyed her repetitive job, or was at least was good at hiding her displeasure. "Ah, I'm glad you asked. You see, believe it or not Equestrian Innovations actually started as a stall selling..."

The words gradually drifted out of Twilight's mind as she began to concentrate. To anypony else, Twilight must have seemed a little off staring at the mare's flank, but to Twilight, her target was bold and clear. She decided against using telekinesis, it would have brought too much notice to her, and went for the earth pony approach. She carefully grasped the key card with her hooves, now would be a perfect time for those 'fingers' Lyra always talked about. She found a small clip on the card, which when pressed firmly, un-hooked it from her belt. Unfortunately along with that came a tug of her shirt.

Twilight's heart stopped as the mare began to turn around.

She instantaneously put it behind her back and stood on her back-hoofs to hide the card. The pose was uncomfortable and disproportionate, she could feel herself tilting to the sides.

"Yes?" The guide asked politely, unaware for now of what had just transpired, but confused at why the mare had adopted such a stand.

"O-oh! Erm, yeah, I-I was j-just..." Twilight wobbled to one side, then extended a hoof to the left to counter-balance the right tilt. Disastrously, this only lead to her downfall. Literally. The lilac mare tumbled to the ground, and landed on her back, injuring her arms, but keeping the card out of sight. She nestled the card in her tail to then accept being offered a hoof up.

"Oh my gosh, are you alright?" It was a shame the mare worked for the 'big, bad corporation', she appeared genuinely nice and caring.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Twilight took the mare's hoof and got back up. "I don't think I'm feeling well. I'll, er, come back another time."

"That's ok! I'll be here all week. I hope you get well soon!"

"Thanks, goodbye!" Twilight said too happily for someone who is supposedly ill. She began walking away as she heard Applejack asking where the 'little fillies room' is, a good excuse to get away.

"Well, that's one way to do it." Applejack said appeased. "You get the card?" Twilight smiled and telekinetically brought out the card from the confines of her tail. "Great job, c'mon, let's see what they got up there."

They waited until the guide had vanished, and proceeded up the stairs. Fumbling past the many ponies at the bottom level, and into the slightly more secluded second floor, a moment of peace was available when they hit the research and development entrance. The automatic doors alone would have many rural ponies bewildered, especially when noting the small scanner beside it. Fortunately, growing up in Canterlot had made Twilight accustomed to most high-technology, so she new how to handle it.

Twilight checked the card instead of holding it to the scanner for now. It had the mare's photograph, identification, her position and some sort of employee number. A series of electronic beeps sounded, followed by a satisfying 'ding'. The automatic doors opened, retracting into the walls as the two 'spies' entered. The scanner wasn't even necessary.

"Ok, next, we need to hurry up and change into the cloaks, but not the hood." Applejack said, standing just inside the R&D wing.

"Why not the hoods?" Twilight wondered.

"Easily distinguishable. If someone spots 'em, everypony in this place is gonna start tellin' their boss about some rival business infiltrators. It's best if we get our own Equestrian Innovations uniform, until then though, the cloak is more formal than nothin' at all."

"Alright, where can we get changed?" Twilight indicated to her saddlebags, she had almost forgot about them.

Applejack looked down the hall they had entered. There wasn't much change from the downstairs interior. Everything gleamed white, except the corridors were narrow, and spilt off into other directions. It was like being lost in Pinkie's basement, but clean. A little down the corridor they were in, Applejack caught glimpse of a brown door, out of place in all of the white, and entitled: 'Janitor's Closet'. It was far away, but so far this floor seemed empty.

"Ah'd say that's our best bet! Let's hope the Janitor isn't actually in there."

The duo slowly made their way down the long path, passing one side-hall and taking in the sights of equipment they had never seen. Luckily for Equestrian Innovations, they weren't burglars, else they could make off with some serious loot. The hoofsteps made an eerie echo as they walked, it was far too quiet.

Then, another set of hoofsteps joined in the rhythmic beat, and another, disrupting the mares focus and stopping them abruptly. Two more employees were coming towards them, from where they had no idea.

While Twilight's brain was exploding with ways they could be caught and what would happen to them, Applejack kept herself composed and hugged the wall they were next to, bringing Twilight with her.From here, there was four possible entrances. Ahead, the janitors closet, their target. Behind them, the route back to the first floor. Both of these were safe, or they would have already been spotted. The remaining two were around each mare's respective corner, it became easy to tell they each had a employee to take down.

"Get the cider pie." Applejack said hushed. Applejack brought one out of her bags calmly, whereas Twilight rummaged through hers like there was no tomorrow, digging her hooves in desperately to find the weapon. Eventually she found it, then lifted it with her telekinesis. "As soon as they come 'round the corners, pie and grab 'em." Applejack said astonishingly quietly.

Twilight could only nod, worried that any noise out of her would alert the employees. The hoofsteps became an ominous crescendo, pounding the floor along with Twilight's head in alarm. She pancaked her self against the wall, turning her head to the left she saw Applejack, ready to pounce. Before she could turn right, Applejack grabbed the helpless employee, and in a flash, silenced him. She watched as the target ceased to fidget, smothered in the hilarious knock-out substance, as Applejack gently rested the pony on the floor.

"Huh?!" Came a voice from behind her.

Oh, buck.

Prior to Twilight's mental facehoof for forgetting about her target, she swung around with the pie in hopes to hit anything that moved. The cider pie was blessed with a successful collision into the side of an earth pony stallion's face, eye's open wide in horror preceding his collapse into the ground.

She instantly grabbed his legs and dragged him around the corner. Unconscious? Check. Apparently knocking out ponies had become just another list item.

"Quickly, get 'em into the janitor's closet!" Applejack called, still quieter than normal. They pulled the snoozing ponies through the hall, a faint trail of the apple liquid following close behind. They reached the closet, opened and closed it hurriedly behind them.

"Phew, that was scary." Twilight uttered in the darkness that enveloped them. "We need to find a li-"

Without warning, Twilight's mind was read as a piercing white light broke the darkness of the room. Revealing a tired looking stallion lying in a hammock. Not in the slightest fazed by the two mares carrying two knocked out, apple covered stallions.

"Um. Hi." Twilight offered.

"Howdy." Came a gruff, short response. The stallion was locked into a deep captivation with a magazine titled: 'Flanks'.

"So, er, who are you?" Applejack asked slowly while putting down her victim.

"Scruffy. The janitor." He flipped another page of the magazine.

"Well, Scruffy, we're just gonna let these guys rest here." Twilight said.

"Yeah, they were, um, drunk." Applejack contributed.

He flipped another page.

"We, erm, also need their clothes. It's laundry day." Twilight said, resting both of the ponies in a more dignified position as she pulled off the 'Equestrian Innovations' shirts.

"M'kay."

"So. We're... just... gonna... go... now." Twilight said as they both backed out of the spacious closet slash apartment, leaving the Scruffy to his bed, tools, and copy of 'flanks'.

The door closed behind them, and they breathed a massive sigh of relief. "Thank Celestia for laziness." Applejack said. "C'mon, let's put on these shirts while we got the time."

They both didn't need to put on the cloak anymore, and fit into the lab coat versions of the shirt they had saw the guide wear instead. Along with them also came an ID pass for Applejack. Unfortunately, both keycards were from stallions, but they decided to cross that bridge when they came to it.

That bridge made an inspiring leap and punched Applejack in the face as they came to a security guard. They were some distance away, but after following the route marked 'In Development', it lead straight past the security checkpoint. They needed to get past the mare blocking them. They watched how others made it past, it was simple: show the ID, guard checks your face, you pass through. But with both mares looking nothing like their ID, Applejack especially, they needed another way.

As usual, studying saved the day for Twilight, as she formulated a plan to get past. "Follow my lead."

As they walked towards the security mare, Twilight couldn't help but feel giddy at the notorious bookworm she was usually criticized for being, that now could save the day. Starswirl taught many new types of magic, and by coincidence, Twilight had just finished the chapter on hypnosis. Starswirl didn't have enough recordings to fully detail a spell, so Twilight would have to improvise some of it.

"Mornin' folks, this area is off-limits to employees below grade three clearance, I'm going to need some identification." The mare spoke in a friendly manner, but Applejack couldn't help but be nervous. She had to have faith in Twilight though, like she had in her, so the mare toughened up and put on a straight face.

"Sure!" Twilight said in joy and anticipation of trying out her new spell. She passed both her and Applejack's identification cards, and waited patiently for a response, preparing her horn.

"Ugh, there seems to be a problem here." The guard began, before being cut off by Twilight's combination of stare, glow and speech. She began madly waggling her eyebrows as she spoke.

"Everything seems to be in order."

The guard repeated in a drone, bewitched by the spell.
"Everything seems to be in order." The guard handed Twilight back the cards, Applejack was stunned, but finding the entire thing amusing.

"I will tell you where Flim and Flam's research blueprints are."

She, again, repeated the words.
"I will tell you where Flim and Flam's research blueprints are."

Twilight then cut the spell. The glow of her horn ceased, she resumed a normal facial expression, and stopped her eyebrows from flailing everywhere.

The security mare resumed her normal tone of voice and rubbed her head. "Ow, sorry, what was that? Flim and Flam's blueprints? They should be through this hall," the mare pointed behind her. "...and to the left. Keep going left until you find the office marked 'Marketing Directors'."

"Great! Thanks!" Twilight almost couldn't keep her excitement contained at how perfectly the spell went. She had essentially just created her own working spell that affects the mind!

Once they were at a good range from the mare, Applejack spoke up. "How the hay did you do that, Twi? I know you're good at magic an' all, but foolin' somepony into doin' whatever you want? That's pretty scary. An' that whole thing with the eyebrows, that was just creepy."

"The eyebrows were the most important part! With that distracting them, it was as simply tapping into their mind and controlling it." Twilight paused and thought. "Like that time when Trixie hypnotised you with your own rope!"

"Ah'd prefer not to mention that. Anyway, let's get to the marketing office."

They continued on their mission, this time, passing lab ponies who never gave them a second glance, the disguise was working well, and eventually the office came into sight. After checking for anypony who may be looking, they both entered the unlocked door.

There were two desks, one marked 'Flim', and the other 'Flam', sitting at opposite walls. The office had a much more homely feel than the rest of the complex, cream walls and burgundy carpets. The walls had photos of Flim and Flam, news articles about their past successes, followed by the downfall of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. Their desks were fairly organised, but blueprints could not be found.

Afore mentioned inability to find it was cast off when Applejack called Twilight closer to investigate a window. The window seemed normal from afar, but as Twilight got closer, the window expanded into an over-watch of the project below.

"Ultra Agile Cider Smasher 9000." Applejack read out. The blueprints were taped to the window, which overlooked an enormous mechanism which must have been it. They looked down upon the intimidating machine, it was at least five times bigger than their first, therefore, must have five times the cider making ability. The contraption was a fortress on wheels, bulky red and cream stripes ran down it, leading to four monster truck sized wheels on either side.

The actual cider making process looked as though it was at the back, various bits of machinery pointing out of it like the first, but the front, what was once a simple sofa, had converted into a walk-in room. They had planned on it being a living space as well as their business. They could travel from town to town, ending all opposition from the comfort of their homes.

The circuitry could be all controlled from inside the room, it was shown on the blueprints, so it was a good guess that that would be where the flaw is, if any. Twilight could still not decipher most of the blueprints, but Applejack read out some of the non-engineering words and was able to para-phrase some.

"This thing doesn't just do apples, Twi, it can process any fruit! It can store 'em, sell em normally, blend 'em into anything, an' they don't even need to do anything! Just a darn button, and every farmer in Equestria can be replaced!" Applejack said with anger.

"From the looks of these papers it looks like they've got another song planned as well." Twilight indicated a set of stapled documents lying on the floor. Applejack viscously tore the paper up as soon as the song's presence was announced.

"Oh, Celestia not another song."

"I've got the feeling they have copies. But I suppose it's a start. Let's get those blueprints, and get the hay out of here."

The mares started collecting various papers and photos that were stuck to the window, accidentally catching sight of the monstrosity every now and then, when they heard a voice that froze them into place.

"Well, look at what we got here, brother of mine."

Chapter 8: Contract II, Escape, Part 3

Twilight could feel the intimidating stares of Flim and Flam behind her. She didn't need to turn around to tell who they were, or how angry they were. For now, maybe she could pass herself off as an employee who wandered into their office, but staring at a wall can only do so much good, and wouldn't last long. Sooner or later, Twilight would need to turn around, but they couldn't be recognised. Only the colour of her and Applejack's coat and mane were visible, the lab-coat disguises performing well under the intense pressure, covering their cutie marks. She heard the door creak into a close behind her.

"Well?"

Damn it. What'd he say?

Twilight wanted to look around the room desperately, in hopes for anything to be discovered that could help them, but it seemed Applejack as well as Twilight knew that one wrong move would lead to their faces being identified. From this view, there was nothing.

But what about outside her field of view? Applejack still had her saddlebags on. Twilight's was lying on the floor, mid-stuffed with papers. She could only have faith that the cider screen bomb was still in Applejack's. She had been carrying it. Right?

"Speechless, ain't ya? Equestrian Innovations property is not to be handled lightly, especially by the likes of you Fillydelphian Feats crooks!" One of the brothers said with disgust in his voice.

"And don't you pretend that you're not! Fillydelphian Feats have always been pokin' their spoilt, city-funded noses into our business, but no more!" The other added.

For now, Flim and Flam assumed that they were apparent run-of-the-mill corporate spies. This must have happened a lot in Manehattan, or at least when it concerned Flim and Flam. Their release of frustration proved an agreeable distraction from Twilight's hidden agenda. She could hear their hooves pace forward and backwards, even on the soft, red carpet.

She prayed that her illusion spell would keep her horn from glowing as she rustled around Applejack's saddlebags carefully. She pictured her magic coursing through the bags slowly, bouncing off and then daintily sailing around the other objects and equipment. Grasping the tools until she could find the cylindrical, metal weapon.

"...And don't you worry about the press!"

"We'll make sure that they hear how Fillydelphian Feats tried to steal secret company objectives and have you reported for attempted burglary and trespassing!"

Twilight hoped that Applejack was coping well, she dare not risk looking, but the cowpony had yet to buck them upside the head. However, the problem was with the cowpony's obvious stetson hat. Not many Manehattanites were seen wearing them, if any. Fortunately, Flim and Flam were far too occupied boasting their power and swelling with pride at the initial conclusion that they were right. Just like with the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy.

Cloak. Pie. Tot. Another tot. Twilight's concentration was diminishing rapidly, it had only just occurred to her that she had no idea how to use the longed-for weapon. Cold ring thing! That must be the pin!

"Too chicken to turn around, eh? Don't worry, lucky for you, the security are on the way now, they'll deal with you trouble-makers."

Need to hurry! Need AJ's attention. Twilight focused on getting a firm grasp of the object, and tried poking the stood-solid mare in the side with it through the saddlebags. Without a way to gauge her understanding or not, she pleaded to Celestia that she understood the signal.

"Wait just a second, aren't you them-"

Now or never!

Twilight yanked the cylinder out, almost ripping off the saddlebag's button, and held it raised in the air.

"RUN!" She yelled as she tore the ring from the rest of the contraption with her magic. She turned to meet face to face with the enemy. Their astounded faces matching hers perfectly. She expected the bomb to remove brief memories, so a few seconds of her exposure couldn't hurt. Time slowed down for Twilight, as it does, allowing her to spot Applejack beginning a charge out as she threw the bomb with as much force that she could muster. She held her breath in both anticipation and protection from the imminent gas.

The bomb hit the floor just behind the two brothers, then ricocheted off of the closed office door they were guarding and rolled calmly through the moustachioed one's legs. It sat there as both brothers stared in confusion at it.

Why isn't it going off? WHY ISN'T IT EX-

*PSHHH*

The room was instantly filled with an orange, hazy vapour, clouding Twilight's vision. She squinted her eyes as the fumes enveloped more of the office she was standing in, trying to make out the door. Since when did this office get so long? She really did not want to get knocked out. Again. Applejack would have to pull her out.

Wait, where's Applejack?

She heard a grunt followed by a booming smash. The outside light reflecting from the white beautiful walls now revealed itself, shining a heavenly light on her saviour. Applejack had applebucked the door down.

She ran fast, but cautiously to the broken down door. Minding not to trip over the unconscious duo. As she got out, she breathed the best lung-full of air she had ever breathed in her life. "Twilight! Get yer cloak on! We gotta get outta-"

Applejack stopped as she stared at the purple unicorn's side. Twilight joined with worry. What? There's nothing there.

She face-hoofed. "There's nothing there!" She took another long breath, and headed back in to retrieve her saddlebags.

When she returned, Applejack was fully cloaked. These outfits were REALLY convenient. Applejack's cloak design did not differ much, simple orange stripes instead of red led up the cloak into the black hoof, which was circled by an orange glow on the cape. The rest was the standard black. "Twi! Hurry!" She shouted, quite muffled through yet another orange coloured mouth bandana. At least it was darker than Pinkie's.

Twilight scrambled to put it on. How did she do it so fast? Time-limits and pressure was never Twilight's friend. She hopped around on two legs as she put the other two through the suit, losing balance momentarily. The outfit reached up to her back, which had to be finished by pulling the cape over. Like being eaten. By clothes.

As she was pulling the hood over her head, a security guard stallion equipped with a wooden baton came rushing around behind her, through one of the many intersecting corridors.

"Duck!" Applejack called as she bucked twice. Once for a pie to be sent soaring into the air from her already opened saddlebags, and another to roundhouse-buck it into the poor guard's face. With the amount of force that looked as though was behind it, Twilight was surprised it didn't take off his head. Twilight didn't remember ducking, but apparently her instincts and reflexes were getting sharper as she watched the passed out security pony from her place on the floor.

She spoke before lifting the bandana up to her mouth. "How did you know it would be a knock-out pie?"

"Ah didn't. I thought ah only had the one ah used on getting them lab disguises."

"So, was that a normal pie?" She asked in concern.

"Yep." The two mares looked at the unmoving guard.

"He'll be ok, right?"

Applejack just observed in silence for a moment. "Erm, yeah. Ah'm sure." There was a slight twitch from the guard's leg, and then resumed motionlessness. "See? Fine. Now c'mon, get some of them devices ready and attach 'em to your side. I gotta feelin' there's gonna be more than just one patrol."

There was.

"Left! To the left!" Twilight called. The two mares navigated through yet another of the gleaming white corridors of the research and development level. It would be safe to say the halls matched with the Canterlot maze in terms of coordination. Countless times had the unicorn and earth pony ending up right back at the office. It would have been much easier if the guards were not so intent on blocking every possible route.

"Another two behind!" Applejack alerted.

"I got 'em!" Twilight shouted as she stopped, turned and knelt her head down, pointing at the charging stallions. Another gust of wind, much like with the Blueblood contract, from her glowing horn forced the guards to the ground. They slid back down the immaculate corridor, squeaking along the floor. She resumed the sprint to Applejack, who was stood reading a sign.

"Back to the lobby! It's this way! C'mon!" They found the way to the ground floor, but Twilight was uncertain that it was safe. She raced after the country mare and tried to get her attention.

"Applejack! Wait! Don't you think-" Twilight stopped as she hit into a stiff Applejack. She rubbed her head as she caught view of what had the mare frozen in shock.

"Think they'll be waitin' fer us?" Applejack finished for her. Twilight and Applejack could see from their position on the first floor above them, filling the entire bottom level, were dozens of guards. They were blocking the exits, circling the area, and occasionally sending out squads into different sections. Twilight ducked behind the see-through glass balcony and face-hoofed. "Gotta plan?" Applejack hoped.

"Well. We could... surrender?" Twilight said sheepishly. Applejack just looked at her with a bemused expression.

"Hey! They they are!" One of the guards warned. The mares heard the voice from the opposite side of the first level, which was now swarming with guards propelling themselves at Twilight and Applejack. They were some distance away, but it did not give them enough time to formulate a plan. Applejack had already came up with one apparently. She jumped onto the stair-rail that lead to the bottom floor and slid down it.

"What're you doing?!" Twilight called as the mare disappeared from sight.

"Ah dunno!" She heard from below, voice fading out.

Twilight looked back at the guards on her level getting closer. "Ohnononono!" She said fearfully as she launched herself onto the rail to follow. There were still guards down there, but at least they were closer to the exit.

She hit the floor painfully, landing face first, and looked up to see Applejack defending herself from two security ponies with rectangular shields. She was bucking the shields back, but with severely reduced power. It was compressing her blows well. That said, cracks were beginning to form. Behind the two shield-ponies stood other four more guards preparing to strike.

Twilight could hear the enemies above running down the stairs. She jumped into action and ran to Applejack.

The once-tranquil lobby was now alive with orders, shouting and hoofsteps. The main focus for the guards seemed to be defending the exit. Pony after pony wearing light security armour stepped through the entrance doors and past a wall of shields that were completely sealing off the escape. The regular non-shielded ponies were armed with wooden batons, used for defending themselves from attack, but also useful when tackling targets and keeping them down. Equestrian Innovations were well prepared for these situations.

Twilight arrived at Applejack's side. She telekinetically grabbed one of the two shields that Applejack was not bucking, and tore it from the security's grip. She then flung it at the other shield which exposed the attacker, allowing Applejack to buck him in the chest. One shield pony down. A few dozen regulars now advancing.

Unfortunately, Twilight's use of magic had caught the attention of the unicorn security. They fired a barrage of spells together that attempted to subdue her, flowing magic ensnaring her body. It locked up her movement and activity everywhere. Except her horn. Being the element of magic definitely had its perks.

She reversed the streams into the individuals firing them, blasting them backwards as each different coloured magic essence was overcome by her dominant purple beam. She created a wind torrent to circle her, causing the cape to glide in the air. There was no point in it, it just made her look cool.

Applejack was grappling on the floor with a baton-wielding mare, alternating positions on top and below her as she tried to hit her off. Twilight offered a buck to the assaulter's ribs, significantly less powerful than an Applejack-buck, although it did the trick, giving the mare a breather.

The sound of hoofsteps behind Twilight demanded her attention. The ponies she had escaped from the first level has arrived down the stairs. They were now surrounded.

Twilight ended up back-to-back with Applejack. "Any last words?" Twilight moaned tiredly before sending smaller bursts of magic at her side of assailants.

"Don't be givin' me any of that talk! We'll get outta this. Ah promise." Applejack grabbed a pie with her mouth from her saddlebags and placed it on the floor. "Could ya fill that up with tots? Fast." Applejack broke a baton with a falcon-buck, sending the guard running scared.

After seeing their opportunity for enclosing the criminals, the security had fully encircled them.

Twilight pathetically bucked the air while grabbing a telekinetic hoof-full of tater tots from her saddlebags. Fortunately, the guards were backing away. They must have thought she was as tough as Applejack. She couldn't blame them with the intimidating sanguine and black logo on her back. She would have to change that to purple.

She punctured the pie's shell, stuffing it with a random assortment of tots. The mini-explosive pie was then clutched between Applejack's hooves, and delicately but powerfully thrown at a gap between two shields protecting several others.

It erupted into in a rainbow coloured flurry of goop. It spread over the two shield ponies and bound itself to the ones they were suppose to protect. Screams and cries of disgust were noted as they tried to get the horrible mix of substances off of them. The unlucky ponies near to them backed off. There were definitely a few stink tots in there, the smell was far too distinct.

"Bad news. That was the last pie." Applejack said as she took a more defensive stance rather than attacking anypony that came close.

Twilight acknowledged this by bringing out the Clairifier that was attached to her side. It was not the best in these close ranged situations, but her horn needed a rest.

It had already one éclair loaded, but it could use more of a kick. Using a bare minimum amount of magic, she gathered up two tots and placed them inside it. Red and blue. With no time for breathing techniques she fired with a hoof.

The éclair hit a shield. It threw up a screen of blue smoke and sheeted a section of the attackers with red paint. The incoming opposition were clearly disorientated by it, dropping their shields and trying to clear the smoke. Some were slipping over the paint.

"WHY ARE WE BEING BEATEN BY PIES AND PAINT? GET THEM ALREADY!" An angry security officer next to the doors shouted to his insubordinates in a gruff voice. "BRING THE CELESTIA-DAMNED HOSE! TEAR GAS TOO!"

"The hose?" Twilight questioned Applejack, the guards had given them much more room for some reason, they had stopped attacking all-together.

"Ah dunno, but it sounds bad."

Then came the hose. Row after row of security officers dragged along a long red fire-hose from outside the lobby, aiming it directly at the two open mares. "FIRE!"

Twilight instinctively formed a magic bubble shield around the two of them. High-propulsion water thrust against the shield, deteriorating parts as Twilight struggled with her magic to keep it composed. Applejack slipped a hoof outside the purple shield for a second to bring one of the riot shields. Never would Twilight have thought they would be on the receiving end of a riot-control weapon, nor ever have the chance to use one. Are we criminals?

Yes. And it's pretty darn exhilarating.

Tear gas. It was yet another thing Twilight thought she would ever have the displeasure of experiencing, so yet another thing that proved her wrong.

Small canisters, much like the cider screen bombs, were thrown at their feet. Twilight couldn't do anything. The magic shield demanded her full attention. She could only stand there as they came closer and closer towards her through the air. It turned out that riot shields were useful baseball bats. Applejack swung the heavy defense rectangle between her hooves somehow and hit a home-run straight back to the opposition. They dispersed as the incoming object stung and clouded their vision.

There was a second tear gas grenade that landed straight under Twilight's legs. Pain surged through her head. Her eyes began watering and shield was slowly dissipating. The gas was slowly filling the shield, trapping the horrible stinging sensation inside. All the while being bombarded by the pressurized water.

Applejack's hat suddenly slid through Twilight's legs, rolling the annoying canister out of the shield along with the hat itself.

The hose stopped. Finally. Twilight collapsed in exhaustion as the shield came down. They were completely exposed.

"FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, OUT OF WATER ALREADY?" Shouted the leader. He definitely had a way with words. "EVERYPONY CHARGE!"

Oh, buck.

Twilight lay on the floor, staring at the horde of messy ponies ready to pummel her into the wall. Applejack came slowly closer to her and lay down bedsides the unicorn. They were only coming from the exit now, the flanking squads had merged into the main, forming a spearhead directly at the two. Twilight's energy was drained, Applejack was on the verge of melting with sweat.

"It's been an honour fighting with you Applejack. Be sure to write from prison." Twilight said staring at the ground. Applejack could only join her, disappointed that she couldn't keep her promise. They had given up, there was no chance they would make it out.

As they lay in the middle of the lobby, about to be overcome by ponies. There was a faint rumbling.

The onslaught was halted as everypony stopped. The rumbling started to reverberate the entire building. Plants, reception equipment and, indeed, ponies themselves toppled onto the floor, unable to keep balance as the earthquake grew louder and more ominous.

Everypony, friend and foe, was flabbergasted at the behemoth that crashed through the front entrance. Ponies ducked and dove as the entire wall crumbled down upon them. Half of the building looked demolished.

The monster that caused it could only be comparable as an iron ursa major. The machine was some kind of carriage. Coated completely black, it literally shook Equestrian Innovations' foundations. It had a set of spotlights above its armour, currently unlit. It rolled in on seven huge wheels either side. They were unlike the usual wooden carriage wheels, however, instead they were made of rubber- increasing it's friction and allowing off-road terrain capability.

The machine stopped halfway through the entrance.

A Black Hoof suit revealed itself, sticking out on top of the giant, in control of it. This suit's variation had blue lines, logo and bandana. A familiar, upper-class stallion's voice shouted from behind the shadowed hood. There was an old-fashioned smoking pipe visible, sticking out from the hood.

"Tally-ho!" The stallion exclaimed. "I just happened to be in the neighbourhood and noticed you two in a spot of trouble. That and three bottles of Stalliongrad vodka gives you an wonderful rush, don't you know?"

"IT'S ANOTHER ONE OF THEM! GET 'IM!" The gruff commander yelled.

Fancypants looked around his surroundings for a second. Guards attempted to climb the tank, before he fired his Clairifier to pick them off. One officer successfully scaled the goliath and attempted to engage Fancypants. A lucky baton swing had the white-coated aristocrat's pipe plummet to the ground.

"That was my best pipe! You bounders!" The officer was flung off of the beast by a blast of azure magic. The officer would have had a severe case of death had not Fancypants also cushioned his fall with levitation. "I don't mean to hurry you along, but it is in the best of all our interests if we get the hay out of here." He said, directed at the two mares, still in awe.

They were completely captivated just staring at the vehicle, but now with the guards sufficiently distracted they decided to pick up the pace and continue. They ran to it, Applejack remembering to pick up her hat as they went, and stopped at one of the front tires. The single tire was bigger than both mares combined, plus more.

"Are we 'sposed to climb this?" Applejack called out.

Fancypants' head suddenly popped out above them. "Oh, right! Ladders! Busy here, give me a second!" Another climber was thrown over the edge screaming, again slowed by levitation, along with a set of wooden, rickety ladders. "Not the highest quality, I'll admit. This is just a prototype though." It was only vaguely similar to the new Super Speedy Cider Squeezy, if only by size. It did not look as though it served the same purpose.

Applejack quickly jumped on and began escalating. Twilight held off a few of the persistent attackers with simple wind throwing spells. Once an acceptable space was available, Twilight put a hoof in between two ladders and howled. "GO!"

The deep engines began their call once again, and all Innovations' raiders scampered off in fear. Twilight hung on for life as the vibrations alone shook the ladders. She began to rise up the ladders as the vehicle reversed out of the colossal gap in the wall. Derpy could have a new competitor for destruction.

Twilight began to feel the refreshing cool air in downtown Manehattan as they reached the streets. Shrieks of horror came from the many citizens in the roads and on sidewalks as the behemoth bulldozed its way down the street. It's width filled both lanes.

"Sorry! Excuse me! Just going to squeeze in here if you don't mind!" Fancypants' warnings appeared to be noticed as carriages were run off the road. The vehicle was bigger than most moderate sized buildings, so carriages and carts were not a problem if need be crushed. Still, everypony got the message and moved. They eventually came to a more wide street, and an exit out of Manehattan.

Twilight's ride had a slow pace to it, but it was faster than walking. She finished the climb to find Applejack and Fancypants sitting down on an exquisitely inviting set of chairs. Fancypants had the steering mechanism in his hands, he had to stand up from time to time to see over the vehicle's massive bumper. The upper platform they were on had sets of chairs and scarce amount of actual navigation equipment. Twilight had guessed from looking at the hatches on the black, metal floor she trod on, that it's other controls and functions were down below somewhere.

"That's quite an entrance, Fancypants. Thanks!" Applejack said tiredly, lying down on the long set of seats behind the main driver's seat.

"It's nothing a few lawyers and duct tape can't fix. And believe me, if I weren't as drunk as I am now I would have never been as reckless to come here and assist you. Nevertheless, you are both welcome." Fancypants said over his shoulder.

Twilight took a seat next to Applejack and joined her in a state of relaxation. Even if they were solid metal seats, it was better than Equestrian Innovations' floor. Staring at the sky above, Twilight asked Fancypants, "So why are you here anyway? Manehattan's a fair distance away from Ponyville and Canterlot."

There was no response from the blue-maned stallion, alarming Twilight. She stood up in her seat to see Fancypants slumped over the steering wheel. Applejack joined her. "Fancypants? Ya'll ok?"

A faint snore came from under his hood, almost invisible to the ear due to the sounds of the engine.

"Uh-oh."

Chapter 8.5: Contract II, Interlude: Hitch-hiking

"FANCYPANTS! WAKE UP!" Twilight screamed as the giant vehicle began to swerve. They currently took up one half of the exit free-way from Manehattan and were threatening the left lane as bits of the barrier separating them crumbled underneath the monstrous wheels. Every now and again the tank would hit the dividing stone barrier and swerve into the right lane wall, which was only half the size of its attacker. Drivers were ditching their carriages and running to avoid being pancaked, the one's with passengers stuck to the far left.

Fortunately, so far, nopony seemed injured. Minus the screams of terror. Twilight and Applejack struggled to keep balance as the collisions kept the tank deflecting between the boundaries. Twilight stumbled slowly towards the snoozing Fancypants, somehow managing to keep upright in his seat, head resting peacefully on the wheel. She fought against the knocks the vehicle was taking and tried to wake up Fancypants.

"FANCYPANTS!" She shook him firmly, too weak to use magic after her stand-off. Applejack was too busy falling over to help, and yelling at others to move over to the side. All three ponies hoods were not protecting their identities, the wind resistance had blown them back. They were up far too high to be recognised though.

Twilight's attempts went unnoticed by the passed out stallion. Calling to her, Applejack raised her voice over the engine's roar. "You drive!" Holding onto the chair she was previously lying on, she attempted to keep her hooves on the ground.

"How would I know how to drive this thing?!" Twilight turned to Applejack while holding on to the driver's chair.

"WHAT? Ah can't hear you!" The orange mare did a small barrel roll as the vehicle hit a speed-bump. At least Twilight hoped it was a speed-bump.

"I SA-..." Twilight stopped. There was no point wasting time, somepony could be injured if they didn't regain control. Removing Fancypants from his seat abruptly, she took over. Twilight had an airship, could this really be that different?

She looked over the controls. The one thing she understood was that there was a steering wheel. The rest was like her dream on the train: flashing buttons, levers, readings that weren't understandable. If this was a spaceship she'd be all set.

Grasping the one thing she knew, the wheel, and fighting against the turns of the... it really needed a name. She'd have to ask Fancypants. When he was awake. The Juggernaut? Fancypants' Fury? Celestia's Taxi? Twilight looked up from the wheel to see a sharp left turn ahead, alerted by Applejack's shout of, "WATCH THE ROAD!"

Plunging the wheel as far down left as she could, she underestimated the 'Juggernaut's' handling ability. The weighty tank had spun a perfect ninety degree turn left and continued accelerating, Twilight had no idea where the brake was. Or the accelerator for that matter. It crushed the pitiful barrier and disrupted the left lane's traffic. All carriages and carts stopped as the leviathan pushed through the second wall, the rock's debris trailing behind them.

Smashing through the wall lead to a much more open area. Apparently, the motorway Twilight had just destroyed acted as a border to Manehattan. The escape lead to a large open green field, expanding for miles and leading to Manehattan's rural zone- scattered farms and trees could be seen. Twilight could see the dirt road she was supposed to take near her. A sign indicating 'Ponyville', 'Fillydelphia' and 'Canterlot' hanging above it. The trail lead straight forward, into the wide landscape. Easy as it would be to follow it, her vehicle wasn't exactly...subtle. They could probably get some of the distance to Ponyville, but eventually they would need to ditch it, lest they be tracked.

"Learning to drive it already, are we?" Fancypants said, alarming Twilight, but not enough to tear her from the wheel. Rubbing his head, he stood up and to get his bearings. "You are a fast learner, Twilight. So what did I miss?"

"Twi demolished a motorway." Applejack answered bluntly. She was able to sit now that the ride had became smoother.

"I didn't demolish the motorway, I just opened a big hole in it." Twilight rebutted. Fancypants looked behind and through the vehicle's smoke to their exit. Catching sight of the breached wall a fair distance away now, he nodded.

"I see. Well, it's going to be a shame to see the Fancy Free go, but what must be done..."

"The Fancy Free? Wait. Go?" Twilight asked with worry.

"Ah, yes, I feared this moment would come." Fancypants moved to where Twilight was sitting. "May I take over?" Twilight stood up and nodded to him. "You see, the Fancy Free was supposed to be the Flim Flam brother's rival in whatever they were planning. I am actually a large investor in Fillydelphian Feats, Equestrian Innovations biggest competitor, and decided to bring forth this vehicle design. It offered a very basic plan of the size, the driving mechanism and it's operating area below where we stand."

Fancypants stomped a hoof on the floor, indicating near to the hatches which must have lead down. "It could be adapted to suit almost any purpose- cider making, large-scale distribution; believe it or not, tours were considered an option. However, we discovered a fatal flaw within it's system which was vital to it's success. By making it this big, we naturally assumed it would have the capacity for anything to be held."

Fancypants looked over his creation with a hint of sadness. "Alas, this was not the case. Currently, this vehicle is unable to conduct or perform any sort of transactions or business. All room that we once had beneath us is filled with the equipment necessary to run the Fancy Free. In short: there is no room for it's purpose, it simply needs too much power to run, which we cannot get without overcompensating it's inner space. Realising this very far into production, we felt that it could still prove a useful demo of the driving capabilities."

"One of our less bright ideas, but efficient I admit, was to equip it with something so that our competitors could never have the chance to get their hooves on it."

Looking at him questioningly, Twilight asked, "What was it?"

"Now, Twilight, promise me you won't overreact here! Your friends tell me you have a tendency to do that..." Fancypants pushed a few buttons on the dashboard, followed by scrolling some small wheels depicting numbers.

"Last time I had to promise something, we ended up having Discord in Pinkie's basement. So I can't promise anything, but go on." Twilight put plainly.

"Unfortunately for you, Twilight, we won't have a choice." Fancypants left the wheel alone, and began taking off his cloak. Looking at his newly-appeared watch, he spoke up. "The Fancy Free will self-destruct in three minutes."

Twilight face-planted the cold, metal floor. Her opinion unseeable. Fancypants continued. "I would suggest preparing, from here we can head to the nearest train station by following the east road out of Manehattan. I'll send the vehicle west, leading away from it." He finished taking off the cloak and stuffed it into a set of bags next to the seat. "Will she be alright, Applejack?"

Twilight lay flat on the ground, but the country mare appeared unfazed by the threat. Was this a typical thing that happened for a Black Hoof member? Or was she just this brave? Looking at Twilight, she trotted closer and nudged her with a hoof. "Er, Sugarcube? Ah don't think lyin' on the explosive thing is gonna hold off the detonation."

Twilight lifted her head. Expressionless, she began taking off the rest of the cloak. She folded the outfit in silence and checked over her saddlebags to see if there was anything missing. Thank Celesta, the blueprints were still there, they hadn't fallen out during the escape. The unicorn walked to the set of rickety ladders that granted her access to the Fancy Free before. She pushed them over the side; they began gliding in the wind. Turning to Applejack and Fancypants, still with a deadpan face, she pointed to the ladders.

"Ah, yes. Erm. Let me just turn away from the road." Fancypants sat back at the wheel, beginning an slow, easy turn left. Applejack headed towards Twilight, tension increasing as her sheepish grin failed to break the awkwardness. Applejack stood next to Twilight, trying to avoid her monotonous glare. When the vehicle had successfully aligned in the opposite direction to the road, Applejack climbed over the side and started her decent down the ladders.

Fancypants followed behind, and stopped at Twilight. He cleared his throat and signified the exit. "Mares first." He offered with a polite smile. Twilight stared at him in silence. He struggled to keep the smile composed as each second passed with her staring at him. Only a fraction of what could be felt in a Flutterstare compared to this. Each passing second of her condemning eyes pierced his soul, eyebrows threatening to form a 'V'. Almost cowering below her, he finally announced. "Yes, I'll just go first then, shan't I?" A nervous laugh followed, as well as Fancypants effectively jumping off the Fancy Free.

Fancypants joined Applejack on the soft, bright green grass. The expanse of luscious green went on for miles, meaning the Fancy Free shouldn't hit a farm. Twilight magically floated herself from the top of the vehicle smoothly, and landed next to them.

All but Twilight looked at the Fancy Free while it was driving into the distance, she headed towards the road opposite it's direction. "Goodbye, old girl." Fancypants muttered to himself. The black-coated powerhouse went off in solitude, the faint vibrations fading as it drove away. The wheels adjusted well to the bumpy, grass terrain, going over hills and ditches with ease.

It did, however, leave huge, brown tire tracks in the mud. Fancypants began summoning a spell, orange rising from his horn and covering a large section of the tracks. It moulded the brown imprints into green. Blending into the grass, it at least disguised some of the tire-marks. There was now a fair gap between the end of the marks and the beginning of the new. Fancypants looked solemnly at the escaping prototype. "Wish I could of gave you that paint job."

"She was a hell-of-a tank, Fancypants." Applejack said, putting a hoof on his shoulder and smiling. "Ah didn't realise you did farming spells."

"I dabble. I enjoy working with my employees on my agricultural businesses, they are much more down-to-earth than Canterlot ponies." Fancypants' smile returned. "But don't tell Rarity I said that, she adores many of them."

Applejack laughed, it was a compliment from Fancypants and almost a jab at Rarity at the same time. "C'mon, ah don't trust Twilight on her own." She pointed a hoof over her shoulder, and they trotted back up to her- Fancypants to her left, Applejack to her right. The road was some distance away. The carriages taking it should have lost sight of them. Even with their size, it would have just been a black dot in the horizon. They had a bit to walk before they hit the road.

The three ponies advanced in the lovely weather. A cloudless sky, the sun was shining gently, which in turn was radiating the grass' vibrant colour. It was a shame Twilight refused to acknowledge anything. Fancypants spoke up after a few moments of silence. "About 30 seconds until detonation." Looking at Twilight's face, she still revealed nothing. More silence ensued.

"So..." Applejack tried to break the ice. "How's Canterlot... Fancypants?" She said slowly, hoping Twilight may rejoin them.

Fancypants did the same. "It's... good. Blueblood hasn't been seen in a while. I can't imagine why..." He looked at Twilight jokingly, but received nothing. "But the whole of Canterlot is fond of his absence."

More terrifying silence.

They didn't want to imagine what could have been going through Twilight's head. She did have a difficult past few days. Suddenly being accepted into this group, discovering an ancient spirit of chaos was living in her friend's pantry, forcing herself to humiliate one of Canterlot's 'finest', sabotaging a world-famous company. And now, blowing up a vehicle the size of her house.

The rumbling returned, but this time through the sound echoing through the air. The Fancy Free was gone. Nopony turned to see the explosion. It was much cooler that way.

When the rumbling ceased, Twilight breathed a massive inhale and exhale, then sighed. "We could get a lift to the train station from the road." Her voice sounded tired, but it was better than nothing. She looked to, not stared at, her friends hopefully.

"Sounds great! My head is still a bit sore from the alcohol, I seriously doubt I could take much more walking." Fancypants chirped up.

"Why were you drunk anyway, Fancypants? Why were you even in Manehattan?" Twilight wondered, her quizzical side overpowering her tiredness. "And Flim and Flam mentioned that Fillydelphian Feats place, you said you have a part in that? They seemed nervous that we were their spies when we got there."

"I came here planning to help you, initially. Flim and Flam have a right to be paranoid, we've always been clashing in these 'company wars' the newspapers have dubbed. With my knowledge of the building, I thought I could slip in and help."

He pulled out a bottle of 'Stalliongrad Vodka' from his saddlebags with his magic. A clear liquid filled half the glass bottle, circled by a red label. "Of course, the drink told me that my entrance need be 'awesome'. I had a new shipment of this for delivery in my Manehattan liquor front, and gave myself the privilege of testing it out." He popped the cork out of the bottle and sniffed above the opening. His muscles relaxed and almost dangled loosely with the feeling of relaxation the vapours alone gave. "Needless to say, it was nice. Very nice."

"You ain't gonna drink anymore of that are ya?" Applejack investigated, peering over Twilight.

"Ah, my dear, that would be the intelligent thing to do. So, no, I'm going to continue drinking. But I am willing to share." He pulled out three small glass cups from his bags, and offered one to Twilight and Applejack.

"No, thanks." Twilight quickly stated, she didn't want getting drunk and lost in the countryside to be on the ever-increasing list of things that happened to her since she joined the Black Hoof.

"Ah'll give it a shot, ah'm bettin' it can't beat Apple Acre's cider though!" Applejack boasted. Fancypants passed her a glass and filled it with the vodka through his magic.

"I'll hold you to that."

Turns out hitch-hiking is hard. Twilight really needed something to waggle on the end of her hoof, else she just looked as though she was pointing to the other side of the road. Countless carriages passed her, the road bustling with traffic, but not enough to slow down the convoy. According to Fancypants the time was two o'clock in the afternoon. They had been travelling up the road as they attempted to catch a ride for quite a while.

The bottled spirit was completely consumed. It was showing through Applejack especially.

"BUCK YOU THEN!" Applejack bellowed to a long one pony-driven carriage as it drove past.

"Applejack! What is wrong with you?!" Twilight said in alarm.

"He slowed down! He was about to pick us up and then just sped off as a joke! Damn foal!" She said with anger.

"No she wasn't, Applejack. She kept going fast, and slowed down slightly to change lanes."

"Ah know what ah saw!"

"You thought she was a stallion."

"Well she was really butch then! Ah dunno! Any luck, Fancypants?" Applejack called behind her. They were positioned so that Twilight was furthest ahead, Applejack in the middle, and Fancypants last, all signalling the passer-bys.

"I think I have somepony!" He said happily as a huge, heavy looking, red carriage slowed and parked next to the road. It was pulled by four bulky stallions. It was a freight carriage, consisting of two parts. The passenger holding, and the cargo holding. The cargo hold had sixteen wheels and took up most of the road behind it. From inside the passenger hold came a brown hoof out the window, ushering them closer.

They joined Fancypants as the two-pony wide passenger door opened. Sitting down with the driver's whip was a large, all-brown earth pony stallion. Wearing only a trucker hat, similar to Applejack's, he spoke loudly with little effort. "Howdy! You ponies need a ride?"

"Yes! Please! We could do with a lift to the nearest train station, if you can?" Twilight said, she didn't want Applejack to speak just yet in her current state.

"Hop in." He said with a friendly, deep voice, and slid over to the other front seat. Luckily, behind him were two more seats. The interior was mainly black, but various ornaments hung from the windows and sides of the door. It was neither spacious nor cramped.

Fancypants and Applejack took the back seats, leaving Twilight next to the driver. It was probably for the best, she hated the thought of Applejack talking about the Black Hoof, or commentating on everything that went on outside the carriage.

Twilight closed the door and the trucker-pony gave the pullers a light whip. "C'mon colts!" Twilight lay her saddlebags next to the door. "So where ya headin' from the train station?"

"Ponyville, it's been a long day. Can't wait to get home." Twilight said. Murmurs of agreement were heard from the back seats. The trucker perked up at this.

"Same here! I'll drive ya there if ya want."

"Oh no! We don't want to be a hassle!" Twilight responded.

"Ah don't mind bein' a hassle, heck, ah'll pull along with them stallions!" Came Applejack's voice.

"I'm not letting you drink-drive, AJ, I'm supposed to be the responsible one, and I say we'll stop at the train station."

"Nonsense, you said it yerself, it's been a long day. Your friends seem a bit boozed anyway."

"At least I'm not shouting at carriages." Fancypants put jestingly.

"Oh, shut up PancyFants!" Applejack moaned.

"I'm also not pronouncing names wrong JackleApp." The blue-haired stallion included.

"Ah'm not p-"

"Both of you! Quiet! Please!" Twilight cut off Applejack and ceased the conversation. She looked at the stallion, "Sorry. She's Applejack, he's Fancypants, I'm Twilight. Pleased to meet you." Twilight held out a hoof.

The stallion joined hooves. "Now don't laugh, but mine's Wide Load." At "don't laugh" Applejack instantly burst out with laughter, followed by even more upon realising his actual name. "I know, I know, my parents must have lost a bet or somethin'." He laughed along with Applejack. "Suit's me well though, I deliver the largest shipments of anything from here to the other side of Equestria." He shifted in his seat slightly. "I 'spose the flank's gettin' kinda big too."

Eventually, Applejack's laughter died down enough to allow Twilight the opportunity to speak. "So, what're you delivering at the moment?"

"Somepony in Ponyville ordered a load of baking ingredients for pies. Apparently they keep runnin' out over there."

"Huh, small world." Said Fancypants to himself, but loudly. Thankfully, the driver didn't seem to catch on.

Several minutes went by in normality. Fancypants and Applejack seemed to be exchanging the most conversation. Until Wide Load brought up a familiar topic. "You ponies hear about them Black Hoof contractors?"

Twilight froze with shock, so much that she forgot to speak. She stumbled around her words for a while before saying, "Nope! Who are they?"

"Really? Ya ain't heard of them? Everypony I know does. Well, the latest I hear is that they just escaped Manehattan after some sort of raid on the Equestrian Innovations building. Not their usual style. They always embarrass people."

"How do you-, er, when was that?" Twilight coughed, failing to cover up any secret she was keeping.

"A few hours ago, just before I left for this run. Really interestin' if ya ask me, they wanna help people by annoying others. I've seen loads of their posters."

"We have posters?" Fancypants thought aloud before Applejack punched him in the face, and kept it their to cover his mouth. Either the brown earth pony didn't hear, or chose to ignore it.

Twilight was desperate to change the conversation's topic, so Applejack screwed it up for her. "Whadda they look like?"

Wide Load scrunched his face up in thought. "I'd say it looks a lot like what you have in them bags of yours, Twilight." Twilight's jaw dropped as she turned to look at her saddlebags. The cloak was hanging limply over the side, crimson and black colour's of their logo showing. "Hit a bump a while back. That's when I saw it."

Twilight, being the only one either sane enough to or conscious enough to, tried to defend herself. "O-oh, no, th-they're not mine! I'm just holding them for a friend!" Wide Load looked at her smugly.

"They're mine!" Applejack said.

Twilight was never good at acting. This was a time it showed. "Oh! No... Applejack! How could you be a member of...?" Wide Load was on the verge of laughing. "Yeah, you're not buying it are you?"

"Relax! Personally, I love what you're doing. I've ran a few shipments for Equestrian Innovations, and they always treat you like dirt. We distributors are the one's getting their junk out to ponies!"

Before passing out, Fancypants spoke. "You tell me if you need a job." Twilight too could have passed out from relief. So they were well known, AND popular?

Wide Load chuckled to himself. "No, I'm good, thanks. But you should try and be a bit more sneaky, y'know? Might not have been me pickin' you up."

"Thank you so much, it's only my second job!" Twilight gushed, finally she would have somepony to complain to. "Does anypony need to sign for those baking ingredients? I'm pretty sure they belong to us."

So, a successful escape from Manehattan, on the way home and met a supporter of the group. The rest of the six hour journey would have been spent in friendly conversation and sleep.

Would have been. Until Applejack suggested singing. Fancypants woke up for this very occasion, and even Wide Load felt the need to annoy Twilight.

Just drop me off at the gate of Tartarus...

Chapter 9: Contract II, Infiltration, Part 4

The sounds of smashing and clattering outside the library brought Twilight out of her concentration. She gazed up from her book and began trotting towards the door where the noise was coming from.

Since arriving back in Ponyville, two days had gone, and she was waiting patiently for the analysis on the new Super Speedy Cider Squeezy. There was still, at most, three days until the new prototype came to Ponyville, and Twilight had been either reading or pacing in anxiety for the results to come back. The element of doubt in her skills still lingered in her mind, had somepony figured her out? Other than the trucker? Was this the police outside her door? Probably not. You never know! She constantly reminded.

It then occurred to her that this was most likely the analysis for the prototype's weakness. Fancypants had taken the blueprints back to Canterlot, and said that he would deliver the report as soon as possible. However, it didn't explain the clattering outside. But then, who was the residential mail-pony that had a knack for destruction?

Twilight opened the door to see a grey, pegasus mare lodged INSIDE her mailbox. The mailbox was leaning to one side, the stand cracked and about to snap. There were a few letters on the floor, and more steadily dropping out of the mailmare's mailbag hanging from her flank out of one hole of the mailbox. The other hole had Derpy's smiling, cross-eyed face trying to pick up a letter from the floor under her using her mouth. "Oh, er, hi Twilight! This is exactly what it looks like." She admitted once she looked up. "Little help?"

Twilight gave a sympathetic smile and went to help the pegasus. She then paused as she tried to figure out exactly how she would help. She used her telekinesis to bend the metal edges of the box upwards. Once Derpy had sufficient space to squeeze out of, she flapped her wings and pulled her head through backwards. She shook her head and her eyes returned to normal. "Sorry about that, eye messed up again, but I've got a letter for you!"

The blond-maned pegasus went back to the letter she was trying to grab earlier and grabbed it between her teeth; she gave it to Twilight and began collecting up the other dropped letters. "Thanks, Derpy, do you need any help with that?" Twilight asked.

Derpy finished gathering the letters and stuffed them into the mailbags. "Nope, I got 'em. Sorry about the..." Derpy indicated to the mailbox, which then snapped off its stand and planted itself into the ground.

"It's fine!" Twilight said sincerely. "Not a day goes by in Ponyville without me being on the receiving end of property damage one way or another. It's easy to fix, anyway. See you soon!"

"Bye, Twilight!" Derpy flew off as Twilight re-entered her library. Eager to read the letter, Twilight found a spot on the floor and opened the envelope. Out fell two orange train-tickets and a small, wrapped cylinder. Lying down, she pulled out the white paper, unfolded it and placed it neatly on the floor.

It read:

Dear Twilight,

I am happy to announce that we have found the weakness of the new Flim Flam brother's project. However, it of course, is not the easiest one. We have discovered that, very much like the Fancy Free, everything vital to it's operation is found inside what appears to be the living quarters. This 'Ultra Agile Cider Smasher 9000', as it is so eloquently put, contains a small room with access to the engineering equipment inside. This is where you will need to be to disable it.

Now I know you don't like explosions, you demonstrated your resentment for them quite well on our little adventure, but it is absolutely necessary here. There is so much compact equipment that it is almost impossible to designate a proper target, so you will need to destroy a large section at once. It will be a relatively contained blast, not at all like the self-destruct on the Fancy Free. Enclosed should be the device. Do not open it until you are there, I know how curiosity gets the better of you. It is activated by pressing the two ends together, so handle it carefully.

This should be the last challenge to overcome, you will be set on a train to a heavy-duty fuel depot. This depot houses some of the most powerful and special vehicles in Equestria- we believe it is where the prototype is being held. Your task is to get in, undetected, if possible, plant the device and get the hay out. The tickets enclosed will get you on the three o'clock Wednesday train. As for the way out, you'll need to board another. Whether you pay or not is up to you and the circumstances you may find yourself in.

Hopefully, you can enjoy a break after this. I'm dreadfully sorry for the pressure that is being put on you to complete this, but I am thankful that the job is in a capable pair of hooves. Also, could you please inform Applejack of this? My supply of first-class post stamps has depleted.

Good luck. Yours faithfully,

Fancypants.

"More explosions." Twilight muttered to herself. "Great." She said sarcastically. Wednesday was today, the letter seemed to arrive just in time, it was currently around twelve. This was good for Twilight, as she need not procrastinate to distract her from possible failure. It was time to finally end this assignment.

Previously, she made a visit to the Black Hoof base, and now Twilight had brought back and started to pack the necessary equipment at home. Under a certain bookshelf was the 'Clairifier', an assortment of tots and pies were kept in the storage closet, and a lone cider screen bomb rested in a hollowed-out book.

It was doubtful anypony would pick up on such clues, but after Wide Load saw her cloak, she didn't want to take any chances. Strangely enough, her cloak was kept in the most obvious place, her wardrobe. She went into her room, snuck past a napping Spike, and retrieved her outfit.

She had also picked up a special type of tater tot. Three of them. They contained the same knock-out gas that the cider screen bomb had, just adapted for individual targets. Supposedly, it was easy to re-purpose.

Next was to get Applejack, board the train at three, and sneak into this fuelling depot.

The train moved steadily through the vacant, dark fields of green grass. With nary a tree in sight, the open expanses of green countryside melted into the dimming orange horizon. Twilight hoped they wouldn't spot the metallic carcass of the Fancy Free out here. It was around six o'clock, she and Applejack were sitting in another private cabin, and getting closer to 'Arcadia Station'- the closest stop to the fuelling depot, and named after it.

"Can I open it yet?"

"No." Applejack had confiscated the packaged explosive from Twilight. Fancypants was right: she was far too meddlesome with the device. It was best left covered until they were actually inside.

That would be the next challenge. Neither of the mares knew what to expect upon approach to Arcadia, apart from it to be most likely big. It was probably under guard to hold any famous designs of vehicles. As Fancypants wanted it done stealthily, so did Twilight, it would be much simpler.

A voice started travelling through the train. "Approaching Arcadia Station, please remember to remove all luggage as you leave the train. The next stop will be Outer Haven Station. Thank you for travelling with Midlands Metro."

"Time to rock, Twi, let's go." Applejack and Twilight stopped gazing through the window into the quickly diminishing outside light to gather their things.

By the time they had exited the train, the sun had disappeared early. This only made it more ominous as they spotted two silos rise up into the sky from the ground. Following the silos down lead to a sign on a chain-linked fence labelled 'Arcadia Fuelling Depot'. So the target destination was a little more than close to the train station, it was basically across the street.

Neighbouring the silos were multiple other buildings, but they were indistinct due to the darkness of the night. There were rows and rows of active carriages carrying coal around the site. They were transporting it between different warehouses which must have contained different vehicles. They just had to find out which one held Flim and Flam's.

"Let's get to the station bathroom, we can change there." Applejack suggested. Twilight followed her into the deserted, dim station and a few minutes later they returned, outfitted. They were fortunate there was nopony currently around, but still decided to stick to the back route off the platform.

The mares found a secluded spot around the platform, where the rectangular building could be easily hid behind. They observed the target entrance. It was a long wooden arm that raised upwards to allow carriages entry after inspection from two guards flanking either side of the arm. Further inside the chain fence were more roaming guards passing between warehouses. Some signposts were scattered inside the compound, but their writings were illegible from this distance. Spotlight towers could be seen sweeping the area inside.

"Are we raiding the royal guard? Why do we never actually have plans for these jobs?!" Twilight questioned loudly in anger.

"Quiet down, Twi!" Applejack shushed. "Let's just get this over with, first we need to get past them two entrance guards." She said pointing a cloaked hoof at the first checkpoint.

Twilight put a hoof to her temple and thought. "Is there another way around? Or we could distract them?"

"Ah don't really think they look the type to be distracted." The security looked much more professional than the guards at Equestrian Innovations. They had black vests with a special logo on signifying their allegiance with Arcadia Fuelling- it was apparently much bigger than a fuel outpost. It was a business in itself. "What about the 'cider tots'?"

"I was really hoping to save them." Twilight responded, two to take down these guards only left her with one crucial explosive left.

"Ah don't really see another option, the other way around will be just as well guarded. We load the cider tots into our Clairifier's, take 'em both out at the same time, and hide 'em somewhere. See that little ditch in the ground? We can hide in that."

"But-" Twilight tried to protest.

"Twilight, please. You ain't the only one suffering in this contract. I need to get back to Sweet Apple Acres, so can we please just finish this?"

Twilight heard the tiredness in her voice, and would probably see the darkness under her eyes if they weren't covered so well by the bandana's shadow. Even the orange in her cloak was covered well by the night. "Alright, as soon as we hit them, we run to get the bodies back here."

"Get to that ditch first, it'll be a good spot to hit 'em from." Applejack pointed to it. A slight decrease in elevation, hardly a ditch, but it was better than standing out in the open. "We're gonna have to crawl there though or they'll spot us."

Applejack lead the way. She flattened herself to the floor, began swimming through the air and wormed her way slowly to the ditch ahead. "Do you have any idea how silly you look?" Twilight said quietly. The mare did not reply, but instead just regularly grunt with each progression of force forwards.

Twilight sighed and reluctantly joined. She struggled against the floor, feeling embarrassed because of the animals that must have been laughing at her. She scooted along the dirt until she eventually reached Applejack, who was crouching behind the slight incline.

They were quite close to the security now, if not for the dark night or black cloaks they would surely be spotted. The only thing that separated them was a lit-up road and some distance of grass. "You ready?" Applejack asked.

"No." Twilight took out the Clairifier anyway, leading Applejack to do the same. They loaded an éclair each from the storages inside the outfits and Twilight handed Applejack a cider tot. Once the éclairs were ready, the two mares readied their aims.

Applejack was kneeling to the right of her, and therefore, "Ah got the one on the right." Twilight aimed at the remaining guard. "When ah say mark, fire and then race to bring 'em back here."

"Or I could just use magic to pull them over here." Twilight said smartly.

Applejack turned to Twilight. "Oh. Yeah. Do that. But don't make it obvious." She turned back to her aim. "Ready?"

Before Twilight could respond with "No", Applejack started the countdown. "Three."

Twilight inhaled and held it. "Two." She made sure to aim for the guard's face, he was too close to aim for range compensation. "One." She swore she saw him squinting at her. She began exhaling slowly. "Mark!"

The éclairs spun gracefully through the air, losing bits of cream and chocolate mid-flight. Almost as soon as they had fired, both guards were knocked out with stained faces. Twilight focused on snatching up the fallen ponies while still keeping the give-away light from the magical grasp low. She poured in all her energy into dragging them across the road and into the ditch with them. They bounced along the floor randomly as Twilight lost focus in some parts. Apart from a few bruises on the guards heads, it was a successful take-down.

"Smooth." Applejack jested as she moved the unconscious bodies into positions with as little visibility as possible. "We gotta get in there before their friends notice they're gone."

The only safe place so far that could be seen was the first warehouse of a column heading deeper into the base. The warehouse's wall facing the two mares would hide them from the spotlight and guards further into the base. All they had to do was run for the cover and figure out where to go next.

Waiting until the spotlight circled in the opposite direction, the mares began a sprint to the entrance. They adjusted well to the change in terrain from grass to dirt and then stone pathways. They made it to the wooden arm that was lowered. While Twilight slid under it, Applejack jumped the entire thing and continued to the first warehouse. The country mare made it to safety first, and Twilight, already out of breath, made a final leap to cover after her.

"Phew." Applejack said relieved. "Nice work, Twi." Twilight was too busy panting to acknowledge. "Ok, next..." The powerful pony checked around the corner of the warehouse wall. She returned with a look of slight horror. "We ain't going that way. Transport carts are really close," she said whispering. "we'll need to go around." She pointed past Twilight, leading to a narrow path around the outskirts of the base.

They walked fast to the end of the warehouse. The occasional noise of talking between workers and guards kept Twilight on edge. Applejack was much more composed, protecting their backs as Twilight reached the end of the warehouse wall vertical-wise.

Twilight poked her head around a corner to see the very narrow back passage along the warehouse column. There were some workers placing boxes outside one of the storage buildings. The path ahead would not be a passable route for long, every so often another guard or worker would pass through the back of a storehouse and into Twilight's vision. However, the back entrance to the warehouse Twilight was hiding behind was open.

"AJ!" Twilight said quietly, bringing the mare's attention to her. "We can go around and get inside this warehouse." Twilight touched the wall adjacent with a hoof. Applejack just nodded silently.

Twilight once again peeped around the corner. This time she was met with a worker carrying a cardboard box. Fortunately, he was not looking in her direction. Twilight waved a cautioning hoof behind her to Applejack, making her stop. The worker placed the cardboard box down and went back into the storehouse, presumably to collect another. This was her chance.

Twilight followed the stallion around the corner and gave a brief thanks to Celestia that there was nopony else inside. The entire warehouse was almost pitch-black and empty, they must have been preparing for a new influx of equipment.

Twilight had a sleeping spell that she was planning to use ready, however, it was slow-acting. A silent burst of magic touched the stallion's head and Twilight receded into the shadows, covered in blackness by her cloak. Without a source of light the Black Hoof logo was invisible.

Twilight watched through the small gap between her bandana and hood. The stallion picked up another cardboard box, but began slumping and yawning. After a few seconds of carrying, right next to Twilight, he placed down the box and rested his head on it. His arms cushioned his head along with the box and he began snoring.

Applejack entered shortly after, holding a large cardboard box on top of her back. "And just what exactly are you planning to do with that?" Twilight asked. She needn't worry about waking the worker, the spell put ponies into a heavy sleep.

"Promise to bear with me here?" Applejack said in a hushed tone. There were probably still nearby employees. After receiving a cocked head for a response, Applejack continued. It wasn't like Twilight enjoyed any of the plans they made when they actually made them. "We hide... in this box." The silliness of the idea reflected in her tone of voice, almost giggling.

Twilight didn't need to show her face to give her a recognizable blank stare. "A box? Then what? We just sit in a box?"

"No. It's big enough fer us both, so we move around in it to get close to Flim and Flam's storehouse. We can stop an' jus act like a box if someone spots us."

"'Act like a box'? We don't even know where Flim and Flam's storehouse is!"

"Then we check each of these warehouses until we find the Ultra Agile Cider Smasher. It'll be impossible to miss! An' ah don't suppose you have a faster way..." Applejack challenged. Twilight thought about all the times Applejack was constantly right.

Think. Think. Think. Must beat AJ with idea. Must redeem self-confidence.

Twilight looked over the worker for any hint. From his pocket came a slightly torn, folded piece of paper. She scanned it and determined it was a map of the compound. It had circled this particular stallion's job location and conveniently named each individual warehouse. Some, like this warehouse, had been scribbled out in red writing, but three warehouses ahead was marked 'Equestrian Innovations'.

"It isn't another idea, but it's a bit faster." Twilight gave Applejack the map.

"Great, but I still get to go in Boxxy, right?" Applejack wondered.

"Boxxy? You named the box?"

"Ah grew up with box forts and trees, Twi, and now Boxxy here is gonna help us sneak illegally around a guarded base to destroy priceless equipment. Show some gratitude to the boxes of Equestria, it could save our lives."

"I can't even tell if you're joking anymore! Just get in the damn box."

Chapter 10: Contract II, Sabotage, Part 5

"I feel stupid." Twilight muttered as she got into place behind Applejack.

"You really think I'm gonna judge you on this? Or any of the ponies that'll try an' arrest us?" Applejack test-crouched beneath the box and successfully hid all four hooves. She was in front of Twilight inside the box, and would lead the escapade through to Flim and Flam's warehouse.

The large cardboard box had a small gap, perfect for Applejack to see through and steer 'Boxxy'. The dull brown colours of the box melded well with the grey interior of the warehouse the two mares were in. All they had to do was make it past the next two storehouses, and the third one should have Flim and Flam's project in.

"Ah don't suppose if ah ask, you're gonna be ready for this?"

"N-" Twilight was cut off as Applejack anticipated the response and started Boxxy rolling. They headed slowly towards the main entrance of their current storehouse. The low walking kept the box bouncing with each new step, but hopefully not much notice would be given due to the darkness of the early night.

They reached the entrance and Applejack immediately seized and sat down. Twilight followed in fear. Past Applejack's blond mane, she could see the spotlight drift near them. The country mare had put her signature hat into her saddlebags, Boxxy was surprisingly spacious.

After a few seconds they resumed the slow, but steady pace into the slightly chilling night-air. The distance to the next storehouse was short, but so was the guard's and worker's distance to them. Twilight saw a lone mare carrying cargo pass right by them and into the warehouse while Boxxy stood unwavering. Either scattered boxes were a common sight around here, or the workers simply didn't care. Probably the latter, Twilight assumed they weren't paid to keep the place tidy.

In complete silence Applejack started up again, prompting Twilight to focus and follow. Creeping past the open entrance to the second storehouse, they dared not turn the box even the slightest bit to get a peek of it's possible inhabitants. Twilight knew a single mis-step that was placed either too loudly or too fast could throw them off-balance or bring attention.

So naturally, it was her who stubbed a hoof against the warehouse's side. Twilight cringed in pain and automatically responded with, "owowowow" in hushed, but audible tones. Applejack froze up and bucked Twilight lightly, urging her in anger and worry to stop.

"What was that noise?" Came a generic, monotonous, deep voice from inside the warehouse.

Twilight almost passed out with the amount of inhalation she gasped in. Boxxy was trapped in-between the second and third warehouses. Hearing the hoofsteps gradually increase in volume was almost enough to make Twilight cry. Just once, could something go right?

Like a choir of doom, the hoofsteps reached their crescendo and stopped right next to Twilight and Applejack. Through the gap of Boxxy, only the length of the fuelling depot could be seen. The spotlight's lit up the warehouse ahead of them. Their target. They were mocking them for coming so close and now failing, Twilight was sure.

"Just a box." The voice confirmed. Thank Luna's beautiful night. The hoofsteps faded away, each step quieter than the last, ushering in a new-found relief for Twilight. She would sigh happily, but that would probably bring the worker/guard back. She saw Applejack lower her head, and her lips make a 'phew' motion. Although mostly spacious, It was still too cramped to turn her head, but the orange mare nodded in readiness.

Boxxy continued on, the innocent, 'fragile' cuboid hovering over the ground. Twilight's stubbed hoof pain had subsided for now, but the treading on of gravel was no better. Through Boxxy's view, Twilight could see the target warehouse glimmer in the light of faint oil-lamps on each of it's walls. They were currently at the mid-point of the third warehouse when Applejack stopped and whispered. "Hooves hurt."

Twilight had to agree, they were crouched for what seemed an eternity, the awkward positioning of their hooves straining under the pressure of keeping steady. It must have been a slow night, as all but that one employee had spotted anything out of the ordinary before they reached the fourth building.

"Charge in quietly. Get 'round corner. Observe." Applejack said, keen to not form a flowing sentence to in case of attracting attention. Twilight got the gist of it. They were just outside the storehouse, she wanted to quickly set down in the corner closest to them inside.

Without any indication from her friend, she was swept along into the safehouse. Out of light and watching eyes. Safe in the shadow of the Ultra Agile Cider Smasher 9000. It stood before them, proud. White primary colour with red patterned stripes shining.

Even in night, it's gleaming red stripes could be seen tracking around the vehicle's structure. It still wasn't as big as the Fancy Free, but you wouldn't want to be on the opposing side of it when playing 'chicken'. It had a less menacing look to it as well, wood being the primary material rather than metal. The odd bits of machinery sticking out the back were blackened in the dark, the cider-making parts invisible.

The white-red combo became bolder as the two mares spotted the passenger entrance. There was a small staircase that lead up to the box-shaped part of the vehicle, where the door to the interior was. It gave the impression of the vehicle being shaped like a hammer- the passenger box being the hammer head, and the rest of the rectangular vehicle being the... wooden bit. Grip.

Twilight was pulled out of her admiration when she saw a pegasus mare circle around the vehicle. They stayed still inside Boxxy and observed her path. She repeated the same circling of the prototype for some time, until it was obvious she wasn't going anywhere. The guard appeared to have a whistle around her neck. It would probably be wise to avoid having her use that.

Boxxy looked around the warehouse for anything his inhabitants could use for any purpose of avoiding her. She circled far too fast to get in while she was on the other side. They didn't even know if the door was locked or not. The warehouse looked empty, minus some containers lining the walls. There was, however, a bright, open office full of filing equipment.

It was not the office itself that made it useful, but rather the walls they could hide behind. Both mares must have had the same idea as they both began trotting to the office in sync as soon as the pegasus vanished. They hit the wall with a 'thump', but fortunately the guard was still on the other side of the vehicle.

Boxxy turned sideways to allow view of the prototype and when the mare would pass them by. After a few brief, tense seconds, the mare's green legs came and went. After a few more seconds, Applejack left Boxxy atop Twilight and started to prepare a cider-pie. Twilight brought Boxxy into the office with her and awaited Applejack's attack from the side as she hugged the wall.

She heard the hoofsteps, on the other side of the wall of the office separating them, walk past. Applejack sprung into action and vaulted speedily around the wall. A 'splat' sound followed by silence. Twilight raced to see the results. She was met with Applejack gently lowering the mare in her hooves to avoid noise and/or a concussion with the stone floor.

Applejack placed the mare in a sitting position next to the wall. Turning to Twilight, she made a circle motion with her hoof. Twilight just stood puzzled by the action. Spin? Twilight wondered.

Applejack face-hoofed and spoke up. "Sweep the area." She must have doubted any other presence as her volume was noticeable, possibly out of irritation. Twilight did a swift check around the large vehicle, but met no resistance. She then returned to Applejack who was standing at the bottom of the entrance to the vehicle.

"Ah shouldn't ask but, you ready?" Applejack asked, eagerly awaiting the expected response.

For once, Twilight actually thought about it. Yes. Yes she was ready. She had been through so much in the past few days and had survived all encounters unscathed. She managed to escape Blueblood's guards, she held off dozens of ponies attacking her at Equestrian Innovations and learnt a few amazing spells in the process. What else could this contract throw at her?

"Yes, actually. Let's do this." Twilight said, smiling with confidence at her friend. They went up the wooden stairs to meet a narrow door about half the width of the walkway. Applejack reached for the door handle slowly, and pressed it downwards. The door opened without a creak and the earth pony entered, followed by the unicorn.

The passenger area was fairly nice. It had smooth wooden flooring, only illuminated by a small window ahead letting in some of the office's light. There was a podium, just like the first Cider Squeezy, to their left, which Flim and Flam gave their vocal performances from. To their right were two beds either side of the cabin accompanied by two night-stands.

Two moving beds. Two breathing beds. Flim and Flam were here. Sleeping.

Applejack covered Twilight's mouth and vice versa. Twilight looked at her friend with worry, but the cowpony only had a look of disturbing satisfaction on her face. Applejack released Twilight's mouth and began searching through her saddlebags.

"Applejack! What are you doing?! Don't tell me you're going to do what I think you're going to do!" Twilight pleaded in a loud whisper. A faint snore came from one of the beds, the far one. Applejack pulled out the remaining two cider-pies, they had completely replaced the normal ones. "Applejack..." Twilight warned, but truthfully, she was more apprehensive for her friend than angry.

Applejack looked at Twilight with an almost insane grin. The light through the prototype's window reflected from her eye as she smirked at Twilight. "Don't what, Twi?" She said in a calm demeanour. Twilight realised that 'calm' was only a step away from 'mentally unstable'.

Standing directly over the closest bed, she almost shouted, "Oi! Suzie!"

The non-moustached one shot up like a reanimated corpse in fright. Eyes wide open in shock, he received a hard smack square to his jaw, covering it in the knock-out substance. His maroon and white mane matted with white cream, he fell back onto the pillows.

"Huh, Brother?!" The other stallion rubbed his eyes, still waking up. Upon realising they were being assaulted his eyes went wide in fury and horror. With the speed of a bullet, Applejack removed her hood and bandana. "You!"

"This is fer the damn fence!" Applejack threw the other pie in the air, and roundhouse bucked it with brilliant accuracy. The sound of a successful hit almost resonated from the beige-coated stallion's moustache. Bits of pie spread throughout the dark room, covering the polished cream walls and staining the red bedsheets. It was almost like saying 'the Black Hoof was here'.

Applejack giggled with joy. Honestly, Twilight was rather amused too, but she wanted to plant whatever they had that would disable the vehicle-house and get out. But then her emotions got the better of her. After so much pie-ing of guards and innocents in the face who didn't deserve it, it felt good to see the duo of mischief soaked in fluffy white cream. Not to mention Applejack's enjoyment.

She joined her friend with laughter, finally relaxing and getting back the adrenaline-rush she had with Blueblood. The smell of success was reminiscent of apple pie.

Reality back-hoofed her in the face when she spotted the time on one of their night-stand clocks.

"Applejack! We've got three minutes until the seven o'clock train! Fancypants said they come every hour!" Twilight almost rasped after their laughing fit. This also snapped Applejack back to reality.

"Oh, ponyfeathers! Let's arm that thing then!" Applejack frantically scrounged through her bags for the packaged device. While doing this, Twilight looked for where exactly they should place it. None of the engineering equipment was actually back here.

She caught a glimpse of a door's outline in the middle of the two beds. Upon closer inspection, the handle was also there, blending in with the cream walls. She pushed downwards and in the door, only to become tangled in wires. The room was full of equipment, wires, and currently unlit warning lights. Past the wires were some compact routes in which one could navigate around if needed to fix something. It was a fair bet to say that this is where the magic happened.

"AJ, is it ready?" Twilight asked without turning to check. Once she heard no response, she turned around and saw the mare gazing into a shining blue light.

"Twilight, what's it doing?" Applejack said, captivated by its glow. Sparks of blue magical energy shot from it, and Twilight picked up waves of it's magic through her horn. A faint beeping sounded, each time the blue light sharpening. The cylindrical shape was no longer visible, it had been pressed into a blue sphere.

It was activated.

"Twilight! What the hay's it doing?" Applejack said alarmed.

"You pressed the sides together didn't you?! It's armed!" Twilight exclaimed. "Plant it! Plant it!"

"Ah don't know how to do that! You plant it!" Applejack tossed the explosive to Twilight, who grabbed it with her magic.

"What makes you think I know? You do it!" She flung it back at the mare.

"You're the smart one! You figure it out!" Yet again the device was exchanged. After a few more seconds of playing hot potato, the device started quicken in it's pace of beeps. They sounded louder, and all the while magical energy was flickering off it.

When it ended up back in Applejack's hooves, the mare slid it down the open door into the mess of wires. "That's close enough! We need to get out of here!"

"Will Flim and Flam be alright?" Twilight thought. But the mare was already running out the door, putting back on her hood and bandana.

"Ah don't really care!" Twilight closed the door to the wires just in case, and raced after her friend.

Exiting the prototype for the final time, Twilight made her way to Applejack just outside the warehouse. The spotlight beamed down upon her, and the guards were mobilising. The checkpoint guards had woken up.

Twilight's thoughts were far too distracted for her to be bothered by the amount of security charging her, as they were supposed to be on the exit train in about... twenty seconds ago. The cloaked mares bolted in the direction of the entry checkpoint. It was funny how the four warehouse lengths felt like a few miles. Funny in a cruel, unforgiving way.

Capes gliding in the sprint, the shouts of security and sounds of alarms being raised truly gave Twilight that rush. This is why she liked the Black Hoof. Only doing what heroes in books did was more thrilling than actually reading about them.

Applejack's head went underneath her cape for a split second to bring out an assortment of tots. With no real aim but to slow the chasers down, she lobbed them behind her. Twilight caught view of a smoke bomb blowing up in a guard's face, a cream tot forcing a few to slip and fall down, and a stink tot which did absolutely nothing. Well, for now it did nothing.

The roar of crackling electricity exploded through the sky, originating from Equestrian Innovation's warehouse. It sounded as though lightning had just short-circuited the entire power-grid. That bomb was pretty powerful, hopefully Flim and Flam weren't on fire. It was supposedly a 'contained' explosion.

Twilight was struck by a magical bolt, one used to impair movement and catch criminals. She felt her body grind to a halt. Unable to continue moving, she stopped. The guards continued their assault, preparing to take down the immobilised unicorn. Twilight could break the effects with her own spell, but not under such pressure, and not so quickly. They started surrounding her in an attempt to restrict escape.

That was why she had Applejack. The strong farm-pony back-peddled as soon as she noticed her friend in trouble. Aiding her side, she bucked back pursuers as they came, giving Twilight space to work her magic. It was strenuous, fighting paralytic magic as it consumed you- for any other purpose it would be downright horrifying, having your limbs seize up.

A radial blast erupted from Twilight's horn, knocking down the guards and only staggering Applejack. Her movement was no longer constricted, and so they continued the escape.

On approach to the exit, the way was being barricaded by at least a dozen ponies in armour. With absolutely no coherent thoughts going through her mind, Twilight dashed in front of Applejack and charged up a spell. She was fuelled entirely by adrenaline, and blocking out the thoughts which told her she didn't know what spell she was casting.

A big blast of something!

Twilight's eyes shimmered white, and a tempest of wind, lightning and... chocolate? Yep, that was chocolate. Spewing forth from her horn was a storm of wind, lightning and chocolate. It seems uncontrolled magic is a crazy thing. Had she picked this up from Discord? Or was it due to all the time she spent around desserts?

Either way, the barricade of ponies began to disperse and run from the oncoming spell, only a few holding steadfast with bated breath. The chocolate storm formed a ball and launched itself at the few last guards, knocking them down like pins and melting into a large chocolate puddle.

Past the now-destroyed wooden arm protecting the entrance, the two escapees saw the train begin to pull out of the station. It slowly picked up speed, leaving the station behind with steam in its wake.

"Faster!" Applejack yelled. This had been the most physical activity Twilight had ever endured. With the casting of that spell, and the, what felt like, hours of running, she was ready to collapse. Twilight forged ahead, though, the reward of satisfaction for a job well done was worth more in her eyes than any monetary gain Fancypants could offer.

The retreating train had an empty freight platform sitting at the very back. Luna must have been watching out for them, as in the day she just faced challenge after challenge. They could jump on the back and be home free. They were only just beating the train's speed now, almost alongside the rumbling wheels.

Applejack was behind her, however, the bucking apparently did a number on one's lungs. She was trailing behind, the suit's warmth not helping when combined with the sweat that must of been being produced. Twilight didn't think, as usual, but instead focused on getting Applejack onto the train. With the last ounce of energy she had, magically and physically, she lifted Applejack and catapulted her in the direction of the train.

Twilight felt a hoof grasp her's, and she too was flying through the air before landing on the empty platform. Applejack had brought her along for the ride. They impacted the cold surface, but neither of the mares could complain. Twilight wasn't allowed to make a noble sacrifice of herself as long as Applejack was with her.

The sirens, shouting and sounds of her heartbeat stopped ringing in her ears as they left the Arcadia Fuelling Depot. They lay down, sweating and gave faint hints of laughter.

"Heh, that was pretty awesome, eh?" Applejack remarked tiredly.

"Yea...yeah..." They decided that for now, silence was the best option. After a few serene moments, Applejack spoke up.

"Listen, Twi, ah'm sorry if ah snapped at you at all back there, ah was just so darn focused on gettin' home."

"No, Applejack. You did what you needed to do, you kept me in the game. Kept me safe. We both needed me to stop being an idiot, and just finish the darn mission. Thanks."

"Couldn't a done it without ya, Twi." Applejack said as they gazed into the starry sky. The thick blanket of the night almost called to them both, wanting them to drift off to sleep.

"You're terrible at lying, AJ. You could of."

"As far as ah can recall, ah can't summon chocolate weather spells. Ah ain't lyin', that was some amazing work we did."

They hoof-pumped and went back to appreciating the sky and it's tranquillity. It was a long contract, but it was done. The long-overdue feeling of glory and satisfaction came to Twilight. She was content with just sleeping now, she probably would. It wouldn't be comfortable, but she had earned it.

"Gonna miss Boxxy, though."

Chapter 11: Marshmallows & Trees

Twilight awoke to the disturbance of the train as it rocked side to side. She rubbed her eyes gently and rose from the cold flooring. It was still in the very early hours of the morning, it couldn't be much past midnight. The sheet of stars still illuminated Equestria, but now a chill was being carried in the wind. Only a few hours till they reached Ponyville.

She saw Applejack still asleep, her hat covering her face and her cloak providing a blanket for her. During the rush of escaping, Twilight hadn't noticed the train's actual cargo. They were fortunate enough to have an empty freight deck to stow away on, but ahead were large shipments of merchandise and materials. Green boxes upon more green boxes were laden across every train cart in front of them. It was probably how the drivers didn't notice the havoc they caused fleeing.

Chocolate wind spells. Really? Twilight wasn't too sure whether to be happy or not that she had uncovered this spell. It was pointless, but so was number twenty-five, to be honest. Maybe Pinkie would get a kick out of it.

The train's pace slowed and the rocking ceased. With nothing else to do, Twilight lay back down and stared into the sea of stars. I should have brought a book with me. She studied the various constellations and mapped the stars out in her mind, a soothing moment for her that was much more preferable to dodging angry security guards. Maybe I'll hold off on any new contracts. For now.

The sun suddenly burst into Twilight's vision. Equestria was flooded with light and the unicorn shielded her eyes from it's blinding beams. It left her with a stinging sensation as she looked across the horizon, the sun was in the middle of the sky. The stunned unicorn rubbed her eyes, twice, in disbelief. Day had just broke through. At midnight.

"Applejack! Get up!" Twilight urged as she shook her awake.

The cowpony raised a hoof to the hat over her face and lifted it. With the other she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around. "Hoo-ey! I sure did sleep a while, huh?" Applejack thought to herself for a moment. "Weren't we 'sposed to be back like...twelve hours ago?"

"The sun! It just rose! In the middle of the night! Well, not the middle...but still!" Both mares shared the same thought at that moment, but Applejack refused to acknowledge it. She didn't want to think about the obvious culprit, and instead, danced around the situation.

"Maybe... Princess Celestia took some cider a little too far?" Trying to offer a joking smile from Twilight, she received a destructive glare, indicating that now was not the time.

As if to support Twilight, the moon then replaced the sun. The darkness and the stars hastily returned, shadowing across the land.

"And, er... Luna too?" The orange pony tried to block the words from coming out, but it was too late. Twilight shot her a menacing stare, eager to reply back, but was interrupted when Applejack sighed and looked down. "Discord?"

"Discord."

"Hurry up! HURRY UP!" Twilight paced across the train anxiously as Ponyville came into view. In the antagonisingly long two hours that followed, the chocolate rain began, trees started floating, grass began eating cows, and a convoy of giant grapes rolled alongside the train. They weren't even in the 'Chaos Capital of Equestria' yet.

There it was, the black and white flooring. As the many landmarks of Ponyville came into sight- Sugarcube Corner, the Carousel Boutique- the ground became checkered. The train tracks then took a sharp decline, and propelled the it into an abyss of melted cheese. Afterwards, it rose up, covered in the sticky yellow substance, with the two exposed ponies stuck in place. The fixed scowls didn't change as Twilight magicked it away from them both.

The train, however, was too clogged to continue. It's wheels halted as the cheese clung on, leaving them just short of Ponyville. The two mares jumped off and darted towards the, now upside-down, town. The moon and sun kept their frequent rotations, and the ever-changing landscape swirled with multi-coloured variations of crazy.

The once-beautiful rainbow factory of Cloudsdale could now be seen spewing forth a brown sludge, and a mysterious pipeline was connecting them to the Ponyville waste treatment plant.

The buildings had turned upright again, but now had changed into shapes depicting letters, animals and even came alive. Houses got up on two legs and walked off. The train then zoomed past them, and flew. It shot off into the air with massive white wings, dropping its cargo which was now just pizza. Hopefully the drivers were alright.

"Oofph!" Twilight turned around to the sound of Applejack's groan to see her lodged inside a cloud of cotton candy. "Little help here, Sugarcube? Cotton Candy's a mite heavy, 'pparently." She struggled with her hooves fruitlessly.

"Did that just fall from the...-AH!" Twilight was then engulfed by another cloud of pink fluff as she looked up. Her head popping out of one side, she ate her way to freedom. "I hate Discord so much."

Applejack stifled a laugh as Twilight, again, flashed away the barricades of pink. "Don't tell me you're enjoying this."

"'Course not, Discord's just a funny guy, is all."

"Argh! Why does everypony defend him?! I knew I should have reported him as soon as I found him! Now he's trying to take over Equestria! Again!" She growled in frustration. "If we didn't keep him in the first place, none of this would be happening! Now everypony is going to know!"

"Look, ah agree that we probably shouldn't a' had him in the first place, but as far as super-villains go, at least he ain't tryin' to hurt us. As for everypony findin' out, ah guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Twilight sighed in defeat. "Sure, but how are we going to defeat him this time? He's probably hidden the elements of harmony! Again..."

"We'll figure somethin' out, we always have. Knowin' Discord, it'll probably be a game of some sort."

Ponyville's terrain had been a jumbled mish-mash of different coloured tiles and slopes, but thankfully, the library was still standing. The journey there had been eventful, but not even monster marshmallows or screaming apples could slow them down. Her other four friends were waiting outside her tree-house.

"Twilight! Applejack! Finally! We've been... what's with the... costumes?" Rarity was the first to greet the tired ponies.

"And where have you been?" Fluttershy added quietly.

"Oh! Er, these are...we, erm..." Why didn't I take it off?! "...just..."

She looked at her friends worriedly, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie were stood behind Fluttershy and Rarity. Rainbow shrugged whereas Pinkie made a motion of zipping her mouth closed with a hoof.

Applejack provided a simple solution for her, "You'll find out eventually, for now, where's Discord?"

A deep, powerful voice answered, sending reverberations through the ground after each pause it took. "He told me, to tell you, he'll be here soon."

The five ponies looked around for the response while Fluttershy hid in a nearby bush from the intimidating voice. After finding nothing, Applejack called out to it. "Er, hello? Who said that?"

Another booming vibration shook, coming from the direction of Twilight's home. "Me."

Rainbow turned to Twilight and asked, "Did your tree just speak?"

It answered for her. "Yep."

"O...k then..."

"Hi tree! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?" The party pony inquired, bouncing around the ominous, brown character.

"John." The leaves shook as it spoke, and Pinkie fell over from the volume of it's response.

Fluttershy abruptly jumped out of the bush and inquired, "What's it like being a tree?"

While Rainbow, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack exchanged confused glances, Fluttershy seemed too curious to care and Pinkie was too busy being herself to take in the fact that a tree was talking to them.

"Meh. It feels a bit... hollow." Out from nowhere, Pinkie pulled a small drum kit, and played a 'ba dum tis', before laughing explosively.

"Right... because you're a tree... and I live inside you...funny." Twilight rubbed her eyes with her hooves, cringing from the terrible pun. The other ponies attempted to pull off polite laughs, but Pinkie more than made up for it.

"Thanks." John said. "I'm thinking about trying stand-up. Then again, can't do much else as a tree." It spoke as one would expect a tree to, slowly and monotonously.

"Yeah..." Twilight felt a tinge of sympathy for the great tree. "Well, I'm sorry about all the times you've been demolished by me and my friends."

"It's cool. You brought Dave around once."

"Dave?"

"When you were having a sleepover, and you pulled the neighbour tree inside. That was Dave. He's a funny guy."

"Oh. Sure." Twilight ended the conversation awkwardly, leaving silence as the six ponies sat around John and waited for something to happen. Discord showing up would be a great relief to the tension that was felt in the air. But nothing, just silence, scarcely interrupted by a flying pig squeal every now and then.

So, my house has a personality? Or is it a temporary Discord trick? Either way, she was going to try and take further care of it now. John seemed like a nice guy. Do trees have genders?

Rainbow Dash then yelled out of the blue after a minute of quiet. "Is it just me, or is this REALLY creepy?"

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity scolded. She directed at John. "Sorry about her, but it is rather strange to be talking to my friend's house. Nevertheless, you seem like a lovely tree."

"I'm just saying! Shouldn't we be looking for the elements or something?"

A tornado of chocolate rain then swirled around the tree, and on top of it appeared Discord. His scaly red tail wrapped around a giant cloud of cotton candy as he took a large slurp of it's contents. His strange goat head then poked through it and created a cotton candy necklace.

"Oh, no, no, no! Where's the fun in using the elements! Besides, isn't that getting a little old?" Discord created a soap skating rink around the ponies as he began gliding through them.

"Discord! I knew we shouldn't have trusted you!" Twilight said fiercely.

Both Rarity and Fluttershy made confused noises, but were cut off by Discord speaking again.

"Hey! It's not like I chose to escape! It just happened! I said I was fine but nooo, a crack straight down the middle. Now I'm free and I have your amazing group to thank!" Discord clapped his hands and confetti appeared from nowhere, showering the puzzled ponies and causing Pinkie to celebrate.

"Twilight, what is he talking about? Your group?" Rarity questioned as she and Fluttershy came closer, being the only ponies who weren't involved in some way.

"OH! You mean you haven't told them yet?! Perfect!" Discord summoned a huge box of popcorn and a couch to watch the spectacle. Pinkie jumped up next to him and stole some.

"Well, you were bound to find out anyway now." Twilight said.

"Rarity, you remember when Blueblood was embarrassed at that charity thing?" Applejack explained.

"Oh! How could I forget? The look on his stupid, soaking face! That was the best possible thing!" Rarity said cheerfully, momentarily forgetting the situation they were in.

"That was me and Twilight!" Rainbow said pridefully. "We did that!"

Rarity at first looked surprised, but then shone a huge smile and hugged the unicorn and pegasus. "Thank you so much! You have NO IDEA how entertaining that was!" After releasing them from her grasp, she asked them, "So, are all of you part of the Black Hoof?"

"Um, what's the Black Hoof?" Fluttershy finally said.

"We throw pies at people!" Pinkie shouted from her seat on the couch.

Discord patted her on the head and made the chair vanish, leaving her to fall on her rump. "And a mighty good job you all do of that! Which is why I've arranged a little game for you all." He touched his fingers to his paw and smirked.

Applejack nudged Twilight's side and whispered, "Told ya'."

"I have to say I am very taken by your weaponry." Discord clicked his fingers and stacks of Clarifier's fell from the sky. Following that were hundreds of tater tots, cider bombs and apple pies. "They're perfect for a little... chaos."

He clicked his fingers again and three ponies fell from the sky. The trio of fillies landed in a mix of positions, already dressed in the black hoof miniature cloaks. "Ow." Scootaloo whined, falling first and being bombarded by the other two on top of her.

"Hey Applebloom." Applejack said simply, to which came a muffled response from behind the bandana.

"Sweetie Belle?!" Rarity said, shocked. "You're a part of this!?"

"Oh, er, yeah, please don't be mad!" The small white unicorn squeaked.

"How could I be mad? It's such a brilliant hobby!" She ran up and hugged her sister, pulling her from the pile.

"Really? But, what about all the uncouth icky-ness?"

"A bit of 'icky-ness' never hurt anypony. Except pompous, inconsiderate jerks." She replied, and Discord clicked his fingers again.

Now, two more ponies and a zebra appeared, this time not falling.

A blue-maned stallion was talking to himself behind a sheet of papers he was reading, wearing formal attire. "And that's why fiscal records show that if you expand into our...company...the..." Fancypants looked around the insane new Ponyville and dropped his papers. "This isn't Fillydelphia." He looked around the group of ponies and the draconequues. "And you aren't the board of directors. Oh, hello Discord."

"Hey Fancypants, enjoying the view? How's Fleur?" Discord replied, relaxing mid-air on a cloud.

"She's fine. More importantly, what in Equestria is going on?"

"You mean New Discordia." He corrected.

Meanwhile, a grey pegasus was lodged inside a colossal muffin, head poking out the top, watching the ponies happily. "Hey guys! I'm a muffin!" Seeing her friend's predicament, Rainbow Dash flew over to Derpy and lifted her out. "Aww." She moped, but then went to eating the rest of the muffin with glee.

Zecora stood as dumbfounded as the rest, holding on to two vials. "How did I come to teleport here? And why are things looking so queer?" She saw the draconequues above. "Ah, the chaos master has arrived, I wonder, this time, will you thrive?"

"Ah, Zecora, I missed your riddles. You really should stop by the basement more often." He clapped his hands, and the Black Hoof members who were not cloaked, became. "Now that the gang's all here, we can really start the party!"

Laughing maniacally, he spread out the weapons. Walls rose up, and an arena was created. "Lock and load everypony!"

Chapter 12: War

In a flash, Discord was gone, and left in his place were dozens of chocolate éclairs. The arena erected around them seemed to be made of... jelly? A few test bites from Pinkie confirmed it as green gelatin. The open space ahead of them, flanked by the green walls, that lead down into the heart of Ponyville was winding in the distance. The checkered floor was ever-shifting, but always fixed at the same time. It was pointing to one location- a beam of colourless light shooting up.

"So... what just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked the group, but no one could offer a suitable explanation.

"Discord wants to play a game! It'll be SO MUCH fun! Discord's pretty good at throwing parties and stuff, y'know!" Pinkie chirped.

The group of twelve ponies began forming a circle and Rarity spoke up. "And how would you know that, Pinkie?"

"We had a 'Congratulations on the Stone Breaking' party!" She replied.

Twilight suddenly burst in with fury. "YOU LET HIM ESCAPE?!"

"No! That would be silly! I helped him escape."

A single strand of Twilight's hair shot out of place, a cracked smile appeared on her face and her eyes drifted apart. It would be quite a horrific spectacle if she had her hood up, her iris' were flashing with colours that would have stabbed the darkness nicely.

Applejack poked the unstable pony gently. "Er, Sugarcube? Y'alright?" Twilight just continued slipping over the edge of her own mind.

Pinkie continued on, smiling to herself. "And then I said, if you Pinkie promise not to leave the basemen-..."

Pinkie's face turned expressionless. Her eyes squinted in thought, and she confirmed her fears. Face hardening, the last hours of Discord were upon him. Her voice erupted in demonic sounds, only barely understandable as her eyes flickered with flames.

"HE BROKE A PINKIE PROMISE!" She bounded to the stacks of weaponry that were littered around John the tree. One by one, she forced an éclair into each Clairifier. She sorted the tater tots and pies into stacks, preparing for her vengeance.

"Right, so that's two of us down, and we haven't started yet." Fancypants remarked.

"Wait, so he wants us to fight him? Without the elements? With these... things?" Rarity pointed to the frantically moving Pinkie and her piles of weapons. She was moving faster than ever before, assembling all the necessary equipment.

"It appears so. And, am I right in guessing that you've been told about us now?" Fancypants questioned Rarity.

"Even you, Fancypants?" Rarity showed some surprise, but was generally casual about it. "I suppose it would explain a lot. Well, yes, and I am incredibly thankful for it."

"It was our pleasure, dear. Actually, it was really Twilight and Rainbow Dash's."

Twilight was cooped up on the floor, rocking slowly and mumbling incoherent words to herself. It was better than blowing everything up with magic, she was controlling it.

"Um, do we have to go... over there?" Fluttershy pointed a shaky hoof over to the beam, it was quite far away, but there was a clear path to it.

"'Spose so. We don't have the elements, so we gotta play along." Applejack looked at the trio of cloaked fillies. With Pinkie temporarily out of action, Applejack adopted the leader position. "Ya'll up for some chaos hunting?"

They yelled in unison, "Cutie Mark Crusader Chaos Catchers! Yay!", causing some of them to flinch from the pitch.

"What about you, Zecora?"

"I fear we may not have a choice, but either way, I will help this day." She picked up the set of vials she was teleported with. "With these potions of speed, victory is guaranteed."

"Fancypants?"

"I'd be honoured to help the elements. And as Zecora rightly put, we do not have a choice."

Applejack looked at Rarity and Fluttershy. "Ah know me an' Rainbow are in, but you need to know how to actually use these." She indicated to the Clairifiers.

"Oh, there can't be much to it, I saw how it hit Blueblood. Judging by the single direction and high velocity of the éclair, I assume it is launched from the top via the trigger. When the trigger is pulled, the constraints are released, propelling it towards the target."

Everypony, and zebra, looked at Rarity in astonishment. "What? It's just like an advanced elastic. Fashion can be educating, you know."

Fluttershy raised a hoof timidly, and upon Applejack nodding at her, she asked, "Will, I have, erm, to... shoot these at him?"

"O'course, how else we gonna play his stupid game?"

"Oh, but, I don't want to hurt anypo-... anydraconequues!"

"It won't hurt him! It'll just mess up his face." Rainbow said.

"Oh, but, I don't want to embarrass him either."

"He's the spirit of chaos, Fluttershy, I think he'll be happy about it. Just stick near one of us and you'll be fine." Applejack concluded. "And Derpy?"

The grey pegasus finished eating the oversized muffin and also raised a hoof. "Can I make a muffin-based weapon for the Black Hoof afterwards?"

"If the Black Hoof survives, that'd be dandy." Applejack said.

"Sure then!"

With everypony, and zebra, ready, Applejack knelt down near Twilight and consulted her. "Twi?" Twilight lay there, unresponsive, trying to block out the events. "Look, ah know you've been through alot, but we can't do this without you."

Destroying private property, breaking and entering, conspiracy to throw pies, exploding tanks, assault, chocolate wind spells, talking trees, harbouring the spirit of chaos. Yeah. A lot. A nice spongy room would be welcome about now. Twilight thought.

"Sittin' here ain't gonna accomplish nothin'. The quicker we get this over with, the quicker we can fix everything. We've got him outnumbered and the princesses should be able to get the elements of harmony, or defeat him by themselves if we fail."

The princesses. They would know. The whole of Canterlot would. The shoddy replacement statue would be uncovered and traced back to them. Princess Celestia is going to create a new place to banish me to.

"And stop right there! Cause ah know what you're thinkin'! 'Oh, but the princess'll banish me now, they'll all know..."

How did...?

"But it wasn't your fault that we kept Discord. Ah'll take the blame."

Her friends trying to claim full responsibility was something she wouldn't have. "No." Twilight finally croaked. "You're not going to do that. I could of stopped it, but I didn't. I was too concerned with the next mission and the excitement to care. I'll take the blame."

"That ain't happenin' either. Let's just say, we'll all take it, when the time comes. For now, you need to get up so we can kick Discord's tail." Applejack lent out a hoof to her, and pulled her from the ground. "Pinkie, ah'm guessing you're eager to get rollin'?"

Pinkie somehow elasticised her hoof and pulled the eleven soldiers, minus herself, into a line in front of her. In her other hoof, she managed to balance a set of equipment for each soldier, and began handing it out down the line. Fluttershy took her weapon with some apprehension.

Pinkie's voice had lost the element of raw anger that made her a force to be reckoned with, but still kept her mad face as she barked to her squad.

"Now I'm not good at motivational speeches. Bananas." The squad stood in silence, anticipating further inspiration but receiving nothing. She yanked a potion of speed from Zecora and downed it in one. After she gave out a few more sets of weapons, she shouted again.

"But when you're out there on the battlefield, fighting this traitorous menace always remember: THEY CAN TAKE OUR PIES, BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE: OUR FRIENDSHIP!"

A bare smattering of applause and stomping of hooves followed. What's the worse that could happen?

The ponies, and zebra, were formed in an arrow. With the exception of Pinkie, who was everywhere at once thanks to that speed potion mixed with her usual craziness. Twilight and Applejack took the lead, being flanked either side by Rainbow Dash and Fancypants. The CMC and Zecora were supporting the back, Discord's tricks could be anywhere. Being the least experienced, Rarity and Fluttershy were safe in the middle. Derpy was flying above them.

The slimy green walls were funnelling them in and out. Fortunately they were not encased by it. The walls were only about two-ponies high, but they lead directly to the light beam. It was best to just do whatever Discord wanted them to do for now, instead of flying out.

"So... how're these gonna take out Discord? I don't think the knock-out stuff'll do much against him now he's free." Said Rainbow as she flew up and scanned over the walls. Still nothing but expanses of chaos, it was probably safer inside.

"Maybe he'll give up?" Fluttershy offered quietly. Only being returned with skeptical stares, she avoided the embarrassment by looking down. "Oh, um, or not?" She carried her Clairifier under a single wing, and looked ready to fall over with it's weight.

The usual members were cloaked, as it allowed convenient storage, but without hoods. They didn't need to be inconspicuous anymore. The pigs ceased their overhead flying as the group entered a big, open field of checkered tiles. Somehow, scattered trees sprouted instantly, and began growing fruits of bricks, pies, and other miscellaneous objects.

Then, a swarm of cheese spiders carrying Discord signalled his arrival, as he approached from the far side of the area. As he came close enough, the ponies readied their weapons uneasily, but Discord spoke first. After eating one of the spiders, of course.

"Careful now, we wouldn't want to cheat, would we? We all know how well that went last time."

"Discord, can we jus' get this over with? You want us to go to that light or sumthin'?" Applejack said casually.

"I was planning on it, but seeing as you're all so slow, I guess we better move that light," He motioned a paw to the light, and snapped his fingers, "over here." The beam was now inside the large arena.

"Can we shoot you now?" Said Rainbow as she lined up the sight.

"If you want to ruin the one chance you have of getting these," Discord said as in his hand appeared all the elements of harmony. "...then go ahead."

That insufferable smirk that annoyed Twilight so appeared on his face.

"Oh, Twilight, lighten up! We're going to have a laugh, right Pinkie?" He floated over to the scowling pony and rested an arm over her shoulder.

"Don't. Touch. Me." She said coldly. Lifting his arm off of her slowly, she looked into his eyes and spoke again. "I don't think you're my friend anymore."

Coming from Pinkie, this was a pretty big insult. Pinkie was friends with everypony, draconequues, donkey, changeling and so on, even if they were enemies.

"Woah, Pinkie, what's going on?" It was the first time the draconequues looked legitimately surprised.

Twilight took this time to finally enjoy Discord's displeasure. "You broke a Pinkie promise. Now you're going to pay. Isn't that right, Applejack?"

Being witness first-hand to what breaching a Pinkie promise meant, she confirmed, "Boy-howdy! You're in for a bad time now."

"Well, this should be interesting... wait," Discord floated through the ponies and one zebra, searching for something. "Where's Spike?"

"Oh, yeah."

"I dunno."

"Ah, right. Spike."

"We forgot."

"Who?"

Discord sighed angrily, "We need every member here!"

He snapped his fingers and Spike appeared, asleep on the floor. Twilight walked up to him and nudged him awake. After rubbing his eyes open, he eventually stood up. The sun was fixed in the air, Discord must have been bored of changing them.

"Ugh, what year is it?" He observed the strange landscape and then noticed Discord. "Oh."

"Yep, it's me. Your old pally, Discord. Now, would you like a cloak for this tremendous battle?"

Still half-asleep, he scratched his head and looked to the other ponies. Most were attired in the Black Hoof outfit. All of his friends were there, including a few of the non-regulars, standing foremost to a backdrop of strange tiles, trees, floating houses above and general mayhem. "...Sure?"

In another click, he was dressed in the black, smaller and adapted version of it. Instantly, Rarity squee'd and admired the fabrics and textures.

"He looks so cute! I didn't know you were a part of this! An adorable wittle assassin!"

He was tired of the baby talk, definitely, but compliments from Rarity none-the-less made him blush and put up the mouth bandana.

"Alright, alright, let's get on with this. I'm missing valuable chaos." Yawning, Spike joined the group looking at Discord and was handed a Clairifier by Pinkie. "Now, let's get all these boring rules out of the way."

A scroll appeared in front of him and he started browsing down it. "Oh yes, that's right, there are none. You win, you get the elements, you lose, enjoy chaos."

"How do we know you'll actually give them to us?" Twilight asked, aware of Discord's usual untrustworthiness.

"An' how are we 'sposed to beat you with these?" Applejack indicated to the weapons they were all holding.

"I'm sure you'll find a way to, don't worry. As for trusting me?" He glided over to Pinkie, a few inches head-to-head with her, and then spoke softly. "I Pinkie promise."

Still locked into a stare with him, her hoof reached over to Twilight and picked her up. Saying nothing, she held the confused unicorn underneath her arm, pointing her horn towards him. Pinkie grabbed Twilight's tail and began spooling the Twi-gun.

"You'd better run Discord." Twilight said as her magic sparked. Pinkie then punctured an apple pie onto her horn. "Ew, Pinkie! Gross. Pie rounds? Really?"

Now pie residue was sparking from her horn, preparing to unleash upon the draconequues.

"Now, that, is what I like to see!" Said Discord as he applauded the strange gatling gun. "I still have one more thing to show you." The clapping started to radiate magic, and made visible sound waves echo behind him.

The sound waves called upon an armada of changelings. Except these weren't normal changelings. They had Discord's touch of chaos. What looked like hundreds of short, black ponies, transformed into a mix of things equipped with the Black Hoof weapons.

There were rolling cheese wheels with a Clairifier either side of them. Abnormally huge snakes that spat tater tots. Snakes, Twilight thought. Why did it have to be snakes? Cuboid shaped green monsters were dispersed amongst them, that seemed to glow and expand before returning to normal. Cybernetic monkeys holding Clairifiers? Why not.

As well as all this, were some average changelings, that constantly shifted shape into unrecognisable objects and ponies. They were setting up catapults loaded with giant pies, while continuing to advance on the squad of terrified ponies. And zebra. And dragon.

"HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BEAT THAT!?" Twilight screamed at him from beneath Pinkie. There must have been at least a hundred different monsters.

"Aw, no magic of friendship to help you? Well I'll give you some walls to hide behind because I'm so generous." With a snap of his fingers came a concrete wall, and another, and another. Rising up from the checkered tiles were bits of cover everywhere, they would need it.

"Now, if you'll excuse me..." Discord materialized two Clairifiers into his hands. "I have an army to command. You know, that one coming to smash you. The big one. Toodles!"

He disappeared and left the group, jaws-wide all around, almost cowering from the oncoming things.

"I think it's safe to say that we are rather screwed." Fancypants said inspiringly.

"Any more thrilling speeches Pinkie?" Twilight said, still secure under her arm. She didn't answer, but instead Zecora spoke.

"Do you ponies have any plans? Chaos looks sure to spread across this land!"

"Panic? Surrender?" Fluttershy cried.

"C'mon, I thought you were the guardians of Equestria!" Scootaloo whined. "You can take these guys! What's, like, a hundred changelings to a Rainbow Dash?! This'll be awesome!" The other two fillies seemed less excited.

Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her neck nervously. "Er, yeah. No prob. We'll just wing it."

"That's massive!" Derpy said as she pointed in the air. The others examined the direction until they found that it lead to an oversized pie heading towards them.

Twilight reflexively put up a magical barrier above them, where the colossal foodstuff splatted against it. The debris slid down the purple shield and then evaporated along with it.

"Look, we ain't got no choice, we gotta fight 'em." Applejack said, trotting closer to the wall of cover and preparing her weapon. The others joined her, lining the wall and peering over the top. They were advancing gradually.

"Now or never, I suppose." Rarity lifted her Clairifier at a high angle and fired. The artillery éclair curved through the air and landed in the midst of the enemy battalion. It must of hit someone, the positioning of the changelings was far to dense to not.
It also made them more aggressive, firing back. Thankfully, they were terrible shots, but it didn't mean they couldn't get luckier as they got closer.

"Exactly! Follow Rarity's lead!" Applejack said as she randomly fired into the sky. The others obeyed, took aiming positions, and fired in synch. Looking over the pony-high wall, they could see several successful hits as a line of them was decimated.

"We're gonna need an assault squad fer up close, and a line of us behind for support!" Applejack shouted.

"Who put you in charge?" Said Rainbow Dash as she fired again.

"Ah've played enough Call of Pony: Modern Warmare to know what to do. Far as ah'm concerned that's all the qualifications ah need."

"Fine, I'm getting up close." Rainbow spread her wings and took off. Not long after flying, she soon reached the enemy side. Strafing across them, she dropped pies from the cape and fired the Clairifier as she avoided incoming attacks by barrel rolling through the air.

"I'll be support, please, if that's all right with you." Fluttershy said quietly. Receiving an approving nod from Applejack, she dug the Clairifier into the ground, and aimed it upwards. Thus was born, the mortar. Fancypants handed her a collection of tots.

"I'd suggest putting these in, they'll make it more effective." Fluttershy took the load of tots and took down co-ordinates of the enemy attackers, before carefully launching them at the changelings. "As for me, I think I'd prefer to advance from a distance. I think I'll take up a hidden position at the side." He sneaked off to the side, moving from cover to cover.

"I think what I would enjoy, may be providing a decoy. I shall charge and kite the enemy force, they will not expect a sudden change of course." She leapt upon the wall, and sprinted at them. She was incredibly fast. The enemy were now close enough to be a threat, but Zecora successfully distracted their fire.

Pinkie was already heading into battle with Twilight spooled. Her horn rapidly discharged mixes of magic and pie, showering the changelings and quickly eliminating dozens. Pinkie stomped slowly closer, a true force to be reckoned with. She even took hits from the attackers, but it did not thwart her progress.

The CMC too were, as of now, in the core of battle. The communication between the three allowed them to see and hear every enemy movement. They acted as one, and moved as a ball of destruction. Many explosions were centred around them, their favourite weapon was unmistakably the tots.

"I'm sure you understand, Applejack, but I'd like to avoid getting messy." Rarity said. "I'd very much appreciate staying back with this commendable device." She mounted the Clairifier onto the wall and took shots from the safety of cover, and accuracy of a stand.

One of the rolling cheese wheels was hit and spun into it's counterparts, breaking up a line. From nowhere came an éclair, loaded with tots. It landed between the gap of enemies and exploded, coating the once-black changelings a mix of yellow and red. A posh laugh could be heard from the right side of the arena, Fancypants was attacking from a low-wall, and then ran as a barrage of éclairs fired back.

Discord came into sight above his approaching minions. Firing his dual Clairifiers at the, essentially, 'headquarters' where Applejack was ordering from. She hid behind the wall with Rarity, Derpy, Spike and Fluttershy. "That's right, I almost forgot. You ponies want some more ammo? I wouldn't want to win too fast."

With a snap of his fingers he brought a large heap of éclairs, pies, tots, and cider bombs down into the centre of the arena. It was closer to the Black Hoof, thankfully, but would mean a dangerous run to re-supply.

"Spike, ah gotta job for you. Ammo duty. Collect as much as you can and make sure everypony is well-equipped." Applejack ordered.

"Aw, that's not a proper job!" He complained back.

"'Course it is, how the hay are we gonna win without it? Ya can shoot at them as well, that's why you got one of them weapons."

"I guess so. Ok! You can count on me!" He scampered off, diving from the aftershocks that the catapulted pies brought.

"Derpy, erm, can you use these cider bombs?" Applejack pulled out three from inside her cloak and handed them to her. "I'll tell Spike to get some more later, but for now can you just drop 'em around them?"

"Can do!" Derpy gave a mock salute, grabbed the bombs and flew into the air.

"That's everypony, time to get stuck in." Applejack muttered to herself. "Good luck girls!" She said to the support, Rarity and Fluttershy, and then ran in. Her usual methods of roundhouse-bucking apple pies to near-decapitate the enemy worked effectively.

The battlefield was a mess of fighting, the changelings no longer had a formation due to the constant disruptions from Zecora. Each defender had their own large group to contend with, but so far, were fairing well.

Rainbow Dash was much too fast to hit. She swooped down low above the army, and carpet-bombed the catapult's operators with paint tots. She briefly touched down onto the floor with a timed tot inside an apple pie, completely surrounded by changelings and giant snakes. They all directed against her, and sprang at the defenseless pony. At the last second she shot up, leaving the attackers to crash to the ground, followed by the eruption and spewing of the thick cream below. "Easy!"

Discord was hovering around, ordering and laughing, but was mainly focused on Pinkie and Twilight. He attempted to fire his dual Clairifiers at the two, but the speed in which Pinkie reacted was too fast to be able to stay in one position. He was forced to keep dodging and flying through the air as the Twi-gun chased him through the sky. When Discord momentarily became out of range, Pinkie whirled on the green, cuboid-shaped monsters that were creeping closer.

The shots made the green monster glow, and expand. "That doesn't look good." Twilight said as she and Pinkie then became drenched in the monster's tasty innards. It exploded into gallons of custard that layered the battlefield. "Oh for..."

Meanwhile, Spike was darting between bits of cover, offering ammo to everyone he came across. It was hard carrying a pile of éclairs that was bigger than himself, as well as being weighed down by pockets full of tots, all the while being targeted by the cyber-monkeys. He eventually reached the support wall, where Rarity and Fluttershy were rather relaxed.

"Hey..." He panted, taking pauses between each breath. "You need... any stuff?"

"Oh, not me, thank you, but I think Fluttershy could use some more éclairs." Rarity said politely, and then took another long-range shot into the many crowds. It hit a changeling, but didn't create any radius. "On second thought, I could use some more of those little bombs."

Spike dropped all of the ammo next to the wall, finally catching his breath. He gathered a load of tots and placed them next to Rarity while she was aiming above the wall. He then pushed the mess of éclairs over to Fluttershy's mortar pit, where she repeated the same phrase of "Sorry!" after each launch. Other than that, she was coping with the stress well. "Thanks Spike."

Rarity suddenly called out, "Oh! Fluttershy, dear! There's one of those green things next to a catapult and a bunch of nasty changelings! About forty-five degrees anti-clockwise of your last strike."

Spike helped Fluttershy load up a massive éclair, choking it with tots, and aimed it at the highly-populated region. Fluttershy rotated the Clairifier until Spike exclaimed, "Yep! About there should be good."

The heavy éclair flung into the air lazily, dropped into the desired group, and blanketed them with an incredibly thick mix of whipped cream and smoke.

"Very nice shot! I'd say that place is irradiated now." Rarity chimed.

On the far side of the arena, Fancypants had yet to be discovered. Peering over the wall he was concealed behind, he spotted Discord, aiming down his two Clairifiers. He hastily ducked and brought out three cider tots, before filling the éclair with them. He doubted it would be enough to knock him out, but even if it made him slightly more drowsy, it would be successful.

He balanced the Clairifier onto the wall and aimed at the draconequues, who was unaware of the imminent projectile. Fancypants breathed calmly, steadied as best he could, and sighted the goat-like head. Spinning, the éclair favourably pounded the draconequues' cheek, sending him to the ground with his weapons.

After a few moments of anxiously watching Discord's body lie limp, it swiftly rose and looked back into Fancypants' eyes. "Ow! That really hurt, FP!" Discord rubbed his cheek in pain, mock-crying, and then picking back up the two weapons, smirking. "Let's see how you like it, huh?"

That was all the convincing Fancypants needed to begin bolting to safety. Discord somehow managed to fire the éclairs rapidly, just a second of pause between each one as he reloaded. It splayed at his feet, making him slip and tumble. He quickly recovered and made for anywhere Discord wasn't. He was very persistent, however.

"Could I bother any of you for some help? I appear to be in a bit of trouble." He was somehow managing to keep himself composed while running tired and scared of Discord's ever-firing salvo. Fortunately, Derpy was always on stand-by.

Discord was too busy concentrating to notice the grey pegasus hanging above him. She grabbed a cider bomb from under her wing with her mouth and dropped it on him, after pulling the pin. The metal cylinder fell daintily through the air and hit Discord square on the head, making a resounding hollow sound, and falling to his side.

Circling Discord, the orange knock-out gas was emitted. It resulted in a coughing fit, and a bit more anger, but so far, no knocked out Discord. He looked up and spotted Derpy, smiling at him. "Oh-ho, sneaky. You're next then!" The next race was caused, as Derpy fled and manoeuvred from the laughing draconequues.

Back at the support line, Fancypants recovered his breath and attempted to shoot Discord out of the sky, slowing down his pursuit.

A cry of fear sounded through all the chaos around, one that Rarity and Applejack recognised the most. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were in trouble. Deep into the enemy lines stood the three fillies, back-to-back, becoming encased and flooded by changelings.

Rarity sprang into action, her sisterly instincts requiring it. She vaulted the support wall and shouted back, "Fancypants! Cover me!" While Applejack bucked away the last few trying to swarm her, she too heard the cry and propelled towards her sister.

"Righty-oh!"

Finding a way to ignore how stained her mane was getting, she encountered the circling monsters. From the side came Applejack, who shouted at her, "Boost!" Hoping she understood correctly, Rarity knelt down, allowing Applejack to jump onto her back, before launching her over the circle.

Applejack and the CMC held back the surrounding forces inside the circle, while Rarity tried to find a way to pierce the it, allowing them to escape. She shot one with an éclair, and landed a hoof into another's face. It succeeded in getting attention, as some were drawn away from the circle.

Applejack then took the offensive as she bucked an unlucky foe into it's friends, toppling them like pins. The CMC kept the breach open with tots and pies, and Applejack charged through it to help Rarity, who had absorbed a little too much attention.

Back at Pinkie's main offensive, the ongoing use of Twilight's horn was taking it's toll. The Twi-gun had been the suppressive fire they needed, but it had sapped Twilight's energy to nothing by now. "I think... I'm running dry, Pinkie." Twilight said tiredly. Pinkie dropped her to the ground once her horn came to a halt.

"Ow!"

"Then I have to use you as a bat!"

"What?!" Twilight asked in alarm.

"Haha! Relax, Twilight, just kidding!" Pinkie had her normal cheer back. It was probably hard to keep up an angry demeanour when there was custard flying everywhere.

"Oh. Good. Well, we should pull back, I can't continue fighting this close." Once the changeling's noticed the Twi-gun was offline, they started flocking back in full force. "We need to leave. Now." The two ponies back-peddled and dashed to the support wall.

And then so did Rainbow Dash, who took multiple hits to the wing, impeding her flight. Followed by Zecora, crucially needing ammo, but too far from Spike. The CMC retreated as well, being protected by their sisters either side, cutting through the potential barricades. Some time later, they had all been forced to withdraw. Exhaustion kicked in, and adrenaline wore off.

But the oppressors persisted. Their forces were substantially cut down, but still they outnumbered the fatigue-ridden Black Hoof. They advanced, still, on the last line of defense, the support wall.

"We put up a good fight." Twilight said, cowering under the wall.

"We ain't lost yet!" Yelled Applejack to the disheartened ponies.

"Face it AJ, this isn't looking good." Rainbow said, wiping the embedded cream from her wings.

The others murmured noises of approval, barely even resisting the onslaught. The demoralized ponies scarcely fought back, only once or twice firing the low amounts of ammunition they had left. Panting, they had given up.

"No! We can do this, darn it!" Applejack said in desperate anger. She was unable to form words, there was nothing she could say. "Ah... but... oh, forget it."

"Anypony have any tissues?"

Things were going brilliantly for Discord. It was commendable how many the elements and their friends had taken down, but nothing would be able to stop the sheer amount he employed. The battlefield was, literally, caked. It was almost impossible to find a tile unaffected by the glorious battle.

"Speaking of glorious battles, where is everypony?" He asked himself. He had been in and out, controlling chaos and the like in other areas, keeping New Discordia in check.

They weren't in their previous positions that they had been defending so well. He looked over to their base camp, a few éclairs were being fired from there, but nothing worthy of the Black Hoof.

Observing further, he spotted a hastily made flag out of tissues, waving above the wall. Could it be? They were surrendering? "Haha! Victory!" Discord was both happy and sad that their battle had to come to an end, but it couldn't last forever. Or could it? Maybe he'd give them a break and then right back into the action.

Either way it was time to confront them.

"Oh, Twilight and co, I really expected a longer battle. I am disappoint." Discord said sarcastically.

"Yeah yeah, shut up." Twilight didn't feel the need to argue, it never lead to anything with Discord. He was a manipulative, shifty character, who now pointed two Clairifier's to her face. Twilight didn't bother to flinch, she had been hit in the face too many times, it might as well have been numb.

"Oh, come now Twilight, you were so close to getting these," He formed all six elements in his hand. "I'll tell you what, I'll give you another chance."

"Doing what?"

"Roller-skate chase scene."

"No."

"I'd do it." Pinkie said, but too exhaustedly to be noticed.

"You're no fun." Discord spat out his tongue. Literally. It began squirming on the floor. But apparently they were really easy to grow back. "I'm sure I'll find a use for you then. Permanent target dummies?"

Another metallic cider bomb struck Discord's head, but with the pin in. "Ow. Would you please stop that?"

"Sorry Derpy, we gave up." Twilight said.

"Oh, whoops."

"Yes, now if you'll be so kind as to-ARGH!"

Discord was captured in a glow of yellow and indigo magic, forcing him to the floor. It seized his arms and glued his body to the ground, causing him to drop the elements.

Looking at the source of magic relieved Twilight as much as it absolutely horrified her in every way possible. More horrified actually. The two royal sisters, Celestia and Luna, stood majestically side by side. The dual beams kept Discord at bay while Luna spoke through struggling breath, "Twilight Sparkle! Use the elements!"

Twilight need no further encouragement. She hurried and gathered up each element, and handed them to their respective owners. Within seconds the process was engaged. Twilight and her friends rose into the sky, leaving the others watching in awe. The elements activated, the owner's eyes shone white, and the feared rainbow thrust towards Discord.

"So... drab... and... cliché..." Voiced Discord as the rainbow enveloped his body, turning every part of him to stone. The dome of white magic then clouded Ponyville, and cleansed it of it's chaos.

They touched back down again, Ponyville back to normal. But the fresh, green, grass and sunny skies were not comforting in the slightest, for Twilight could feel her mentor's stare at her. She should call it the 'Solar Stare', she managed to joke before turning to meet her maker.

While Luna appeared more pleased that Discord was once again banished, Celestia had the fury of the burning sun behind her eyes. Twilight could not have been sweating more profusely than if she were sitting on the sun itself. She spoke sharply, and expressionlessly.

"Luna, please stay here in regards to Ponyville. Make sure everyone is alright and understands what has occurred. I will take the 'Black Hoof' to the castle, as they explain why there is a paper-mâché statue of Discord in the Gardens."

Chapter 6: Contract II, Espionage, Part 1

"Now listen, Twi," Applejack started, "before ah tell you anymore on this job, ah gotta say right now, this won't be easy. We'll be headin' to Manehattan for tha' first part."

"Why Manehattan? Is that where Flim & Flam are? Who set the contract anyway? Seems kinda pointless if they won't get to know it actually happened, I assume they're from Ponyville anyway?" Twilight pestered.

"Twi, listen, what we are gonna do isn't, exactly..." Applejack hesitated.

"What?"

"..."

"Legal." Applejack said and flinched in preparation of Twilight's reaction.

"Oh, nononono, AJ!" Twilight began nervously, fidgeting and suddenly sweating profusely. "I'm not pushing myself further into trouble, what if Cele-..."

"Twilight! Listen! Jus' calm down and listen!"

"But! Princess Celestia! What i-..."

"Twilight! Stop! You always get worked up over things, jus' gimme a chance, hear me out."

Twilight nodded slowly, still a firm look of dread on her face. Both Rainbow Dash & Spike had moved away for now, trying to look busy as Applejack attempted to calm Twilight.

"Well, them silver tongued con-stallions, Flim and Flam," Applejack said with a scowl, "have had help working on a brand new super speedy cider thingy, and according to Fancypants are heading back to Ponyville."

"But everyone in Ponyville knows them, they won't trust them again, right?" Twilight asked, much more coolly.

"No Twi, this thing... Will. Not. Fail. And its attractin' all sorts of other attention from hoity-toity businesses. We need to stop this thing, and send others a message that Ponyville is not gonna become an industrial town!" Applejack said with resentment in her voice.

"Why would Ponyville become a place of industry just like that?"

"Flim and Flam's supporting company, Equestrian Innovations, are planning to make a move on Ponyville. Once this thing makes its debut, it'll make Ponyville a target fer a whole mess of other rivals and companies!" Applejack had tones of worry in her voice, this was clearly something she would have animosity against. Since leaving Manehattan and getting her cutie mark, Applejack had always favoured small town, close communities for their traditional values and overall sense of security, rather than cities dedicated to enterprise and profit.

"Equestrian Innovations? The guys behind the self-adhesive material?" Twilight asked in awe.

"The very same, where they go, others follow. So, we need to make sure they don't get a chance to razzle-dazzle us. The basic plan is we go to their headquarters, steal the plans, get Fancypants' business to check over for flaws, and then we sabotage it as it arrives in Ponyville."

"So, we'll be ruining a business, not Flim and Flam?"

"Ah suppose, but y'know, it wouldn't hurt to catch those guys in the crossfire right?" Applejack asked hopefully.

Twilight needed this time to think carefully. Blueblood's contract was a breeze in comparison to this, but she couldn't exactly say no. If the thrill of Blueblood's humiliation was any indicator, the thought that she would actually get to do some good in the process of disrupting Flim and Flam's plans had her mind reeling with joy. Yet Applejack's words still brought up a different conviction. Legal. Stealing a world famous company's future project. Twilight was still lacking confidence in her abilities, she had only had a single contract, and now they were already at the level of corporate espionage! Did the legality of it matter anymore? Everypony fronted a mild attitude to what should be considered absolute disaster, at least in Twilight's eyes. Did that mean they were really this covert? Did this group, one Twilight thought to simply be dedicated to throwing pies at people, command respect and require skill? If Twilight could pull this off, she was sure that there would be no problem being accepted into Princess Luna's spy division.

"She say yeah?" Came Rainbow Dash's voice from afar, knocking Twilight out of her trance.

"Probably," Twilight recognised as Spike's voice, "she does that alot."

According to Spike, it was now decided, so Twilight would use that as her excuse.

"If you guys really want me there that badly, I guess I can spare my talents." Twilight called, to which came some faint grumbling from Discord. Exposure to the sensation of adrenaline for too long clearly had an effect on the mare's ego. Maybe Rainbow couldn't be blamed for her big-headedness all the time.

"Alright! Ah promise ya, Twi, we'll be fine. 'Specially with the new tools we got!" Applejack said.

"We got new stuff?!" Discord exclaimed, looking up from his copy of 'Butt Renovations'. Seriously, he's like, what, thousands of years old? "Since when?"

"Ah'll show ya, Discord." Applejack walked into the 'armoury' as Discord tried, and failed, to shift his stone body to a standing pose that was currently leaning on the couch. The couch seemed out of place in an environment such as this, a bright red, comfortable looking sofa, impeding the shadow that formed around most of the area. Then again, this was Pinkie Pie's basement, nopony should be too critical over what's found in ancient tunnels or how they're renovated. Hehe, butt renovations. Damn it!

Fortunately Twilight was saved from face-hoofing as the cowpony re-entered. A cylindrical object was placed in her mouth, while she balanced a lone pie on her back. Rainbow Dash, Spike, Pinkie and Discord all looked over the mare, clearly this was new to them as well.

"Fancypants may have 'The Clairifier', but now ah have the Cider Screen Bomb..." Applejack indicated to the silver and orange striped cylindrical device hanging from her mouth, "and the, uh..." Applejack looked to the pie on her back. "How 'bout ah show ya what this does? Discord, you've volunteered!"

Immediately Applejack bucked the pie from her back before Discord could respond, and as it was hovering in mid-air, the country mare span and landed two back-hoofs into it, bucking it at Discord's non-shielded face with impeccable accuracy.

As if reminiscent to Twilight's earlier actions, now Discord's face was plastered in the normal looking substance, apple pie, except this time, the target wasn't moving. Discord was still, even more so than usual.

"So... it kills people?" Rainbow offered.

"Nope, look here." Applejack came closer to Discord, the others following behind her, and Twilight to her side as the orange mare wiped Discord's face with a hoof. Behind his mask of crust and brown goo, revealed a sleeping Discord, unaffected by the whole situation.

Unluckily for Pinkie, she had yet to see the sleeping draconnequus from behind the others, and on impulse, bounced for the remaining element of dessert hanging from Applejack's hoof.

"Bagsies!" Pinkie called.

"Uh, Pinkie..." As Twilight tried to inform the bouncy pony, she thought it was best she learnt her lesson.

Pinkie lapped up the apple pie, and stood as normally as was possible for the random pony, before addressing the fact: "Needs more..."

*Thump*

"..."

"She's ok, isn't she?" Rainbow wondered aloud.

"Yep, she'll wake up in 'bout an hour." Applejack reassured as she prodded the knocked-out pony with a hoof.

"That's amazing!" Spike shouted. "If that can take down Pinkie, it can take down anything!"

"How does it work, Applejack?" Twilight challenged, wanting to know the science behind the effective weapon.

"Same as this here cider screen, it's got a concentrated amount of fermented cider in it, almost instantly puts anypony to sleep." Applejack said with pride, poking Pinkie in the side some more. "Not sure she shoulda ate it though."

"Eh, it's Pinkie, she'll probably just ask for more later, I'll take her to her room." Rainbow said as she lifted Pinkie onto her back gently and walked to the dormitories section.

"So, what about that cider screen bomb?" Twilight questioned.

"The only difference with this doo-hicky is that can affect more than one pony. Ah'm not gonna show you it yet though, these take a while to make. Works like a smoke screen, jus' orange is all."

"Hence the cider screen name? Does everypony come up with names this cheesy?"

"Yep! It's a requirement workin' here!" AJ beamed. "You should give it a shot, Twi, you're good with all this scientifical stuff, you could make something revolutionary!"

"I doubt that, I'm still struggling with the fact that we're living in Pinkie's basement. But those should definitely come in handy, when's the mission anyway?"

"We only gotta week before this new prototype comes along to stun us all, which means we need to get to Manehattan before then, with enough time for Fancypants to look over the plans and tell us what to target fer the sabotage." AJ said, rubbing her hooves together, a glint of wickedness in her eye.

"Sounds... brilliant!" Twilight had fully conformed to the values of the Black Hoof, enjoying the revenge she took on behalf of the ponies, and in this case, fighting the 'good fight': against metropolitan expansion devaluing rural society.

"If you're ready, ah'd like to order the train fer midnight tonight, should take about six hours to get there, so we got plenty of time before they open Equestrian Innovations, they offer tours every hour, all we hafta do is jump on one of those, then break off and search fer the blueprints through their offices. We can probably get a cheap motel room to stake out for a bit before the tours start."

"Sure, I'll have some time to read on the train." Twilight said happily, just another trip. But a lot like Appleloosa, as things were going to spin far out of her control, she realised. Up until the actual time of Blueblood's contract, Twilight managed to ignore the feeling of anxiety, had she built up a mental barrier due to her experience?

"Oh, right, that reminds me! Here's the letter of contract. Ah know we're 'sposed to keep the identity secret, but ah really don't think Granny Smith would mind, she's seething just mentioning that duo. Mighty glad she still has a subscription to Manehattan Daily, else she wouldn't have known about any o' this." Applejack stopped to think. "Ah can't imagine the paper-colt enjoys the six hour journey to Ponyville though." Applejack fished out the contract and it was grabbed by Twilight's telekinesis.

"Oh my, that'll be an interesting read, would hate to be in Granny Smith's aim. I'll read it when I get back, though, I think I need a day of 'typical' for now."

"Ah agree, imma finish up some work on the farm, then ah'll meet you at the train station at midnight, I'll bring all the equipment we need."

"Alright, see ya tonight AJ! Don't work too hard."

"Same to you, Twi. But, reading-wise." Applejack smiled as Twilight departed, almost forgetting Spike who was running to catch up.

"See ya AJ!" He uttered before leaving the room.

As the doors closed behind Spike, Discord woke up surprisingly early from the effects of the apple pie. Hopefully that was down to him being an immortal spirit, rather than a fault in the weapon. It appeared true as Pinkie wasn't back to reality yet. He mumbled and groaned as he shook off the remaining food, yawning slightly.

"Why am I warm and sticky? Did I miss something fun? What happened to the demonstration?"

"Er, ah was just gettin' round to that, Discord, lemme get another." Applejack said slyly.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Over the past few days I've been involved in new experiences I never thought I would get, or even want, to be a part of. But with the help of my friends, I've realised that you shouldn't be afraid to take risks and try something new, because they could turn out to be some of greatest chances you might miss, and never have another opportunity for. You should always trust that your friends will be there for you, to support you in times of anxiety or nervousness, and will never be judgemental of your actions, providing you treat them with the same respect.

Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle.

"Spike!" Twilight called out to the kitchen. It had been a while since she sent a letter to Celestia, and what better lesson to have learnt than that which she was still involved in. Obviously she couldn't reveal ALL the details, but a short report was better than no report.

"Yes ma'am!" Spike said sternly with a mock salute.

"Could you send this to the Princess, please?"

"Sure!" Spike inhaled a large breath, but then paused asked Twilight, "wait, you're not telling the Princess about all this, are you?"

"Of course not, just a quick friendship report. No matter how much I don't trust Discord, it's not worth sacrificing the Black Hoof for."

"Just checkin'!" Spike resumed the sending process, and forwarded the letter via magical green fire.

Twilight turned to face the clock resting on the wall. 8:00PM. Her day consisted of re-organising some books, cleaning the shelves and eating some rubies. No, wait, that's Spike. Twilight's day was lounging on the sofa, eating cheesits, and reading some of Starswirl's recordings. A nice lazy day, before all eternal night breaks loose.

Starswirl's book had proved astonishingly valuable to the field of magic, it would take further study to solidify the teachings into practical magic, but with the notes provided, it seemed fairly possible to adapt and create her own spells from them. Applejack was right, again, Twilight was on track to invent her own useful combat tool.

Twilight glanced towards the clock once more. 8:01 PM. She really needed something to do while waiting for midnight, as she was reluctant to begin panicking.

"Spike, get me some more cheesits!"

"Howdy, Twi." Applejack said softly before suppressing a yawn.

"Applejack, did you get carried away with the farm?"

"Maybe." Applejack yawned again. "Yeah, a little. Ah'll get some sleep on the train though, ah'm not that tired."

"I hope so, quite we've got quite day planned." Twilight turned her head to see the stallion-driven train approaching the station rather quietly. The only sound being the faint pitter-patter of hooves pulling in. "Here comes the train now."

The train pulled into the almost deserted station, almost fully encased in darkness were it not for the stars illuminating the sky and the faint light from the ticket dispensaries piercing the atmosphere around them. The two mares entered the train easily, and found their way to a private carriage that felt high class just being near. Rarity must have paid quite a bit after Twilight's pleasing performance to be able to afford this. The room had two decent sized beds, a large table in the middle, and some overhead compartments. There was also a grand view of Ponyville receding into the distance through the window as the train began on its way. They stored their sets of luggage, making sure to hide the voluminous, red, Black Hoof insignia from their dark cloaks.

Twilight lit a match provided next to one of the two candles on the large table, held firmly in place by a secure candle holder to avoid falling from turbulence and lit the one adjacent to her bed. She pulled out her new book on Starswirl, as well as Granny Smith's letter, and nestled into the cozy bed.

"If you don't mind AJ, I'm going to have a read over the letter and a bit more of the book." Twilight spoke quietly in order to not disturb other passengers, if there was any. But upon inspection, Applejack was fast asleep, collapsed atop the blankets, face down. Twilight smiled and gently tugged the blankets from under her, then placed them properly over the snoozing mare.

She then unfurled the scroll and read mentally, and instantly spotted a problem.

Dear Ditzy Hooves,

I can't take no more of these con-sarnit police telling me that I need to calm down and that no more cider-making monsters are coming to Ponyville! I've seen Manehattan Daily, an' I know that them whipper-snappers Flam and Flim are planning another dang cider take-over! What's worse is that them devils have now got the backing of some fancy-shmancy business! If Ponyville's police don't understand the threat that these hoodlums pose then I sincerely hope your special group does.

Why, back in my day, if somepony was doing something like this, out came the pitchforks and torches! But no, now things have to be solved 'peacefully'. They're lucky Mr. Abernathy's got that bum hip, or they would be up to their flanks with angry seniors! That and we can't remember how to hold pitchforks, with hooves and all that. What was I talking about?

Right, I have no idea what your group does, but help show the older generation that you young-uns don't take kindly to assault on our domestic lifestyles! And that you're not all lazy good-fer-nothings! Flam and Flim are the head marketers for Equestrian Innovations in Manehattan, here's the article from that darned newspaper, I can't stand looking at it no more.

Granny Smith

Twilight skimmed over the article that was stuck to the scroll with what looked like spit. The text was almost illegible but Twilight could make out, "Equestrian Innovations are excited to announce a brand-new prototype machine dedicated to the distillery business. The machine will be making its first demo run in Ponyville, eliciting many rumours of business expansion. Flim and Flam, marketing chiefs of EI, when asked for a comment had this to say: 'Ponyville ain't going to know what hit them.'"

The picture showed both Flim and Flam inside what she assumed was Equestrian Innovations, wearing incredibly comical scientist outfits with oversized cartoon wrenches. If anything, these two would be brilliantly well-suited for a children's magic act or one of Trixie's shows, but for foals. The terrible shtick was just radiating from them and embarrassing just to be seen with. She hoped to Celestia they weren't planning another song.

"Neither will you, Flim, neither will you, Flam." Twilight muttered quietly before erasing the candlelight, placing her books under the bed and drifting off to sleep. Starswirl could wait. If she was going to be awake for six, she needed sleep.

Chapter 13: The Black Hoof's Reckoning

"Each of you have ten seconds to explain your actions." Celestia put bluntly as she marched across the line of quivering ponies. Only Rarity and Fluttershy were excluded from the teleport to Canterlot Castle, having, essentially, nothing to do with it. It was a good thing too, Fluttershy may have started bawling if she saw Celestia now. Even Pinkie looked frightened.

Celestia trotted up to the far side of the line, furthest away from Twilight. First was Applejack. Celestia stared at her expectantly.

"Uh, well, y'see Princess, ah'm, uh, sure you know b-bout our activities now and how we embarrass ponies when we're asked. An' ah'd-..."

"Time's up. Fancypants." Applejack breathed heavily and wiped her forehead. Celestia kept her menacing glare and looked at the stallion.

"And, erm, to expand on that, I'd like to say that we never harm anypony or accept a c-contract that we feel is unjust."

"You both seem to be forgetting the more important fact that Discord had escaped. Replacing his statue was a makeshift copy with the signatures of Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo."

All the Black Hoof members stuck their heads out of the line to offer angry glares at the three.

"What? We coulda got famous from how realistic it looked!" Apple Bloom whined, to which her sister desperately tried to hush.

"Pinkie Pie." Celestia addressed abruptly. Pinkie held her head down in shame, and spoke sadly.

"I admit it. I stole Discord. And kept him for so long in my basement. Leave everypony else out of it, banish me."

"Pinkie, that ain't fair!" Applejack said to her. "You do crazy stuff like this all the time! We coulda stopped you if we tried more, somehow we jus' didn't see the seriousness of it at the time."

"But I shouldn't of trusted him in the first place! Once a meanie-mean pants, always a meanie-mean pants."

They all turned to watch Celestia, who simply observed the conversation. Still no change in expression or stance. After a few seconds, she moved onto the next one.

"Zecora."

The zebra was amazingly calm, a strong posture being shown. "These funny acts I do not usually partake, the tater tots and potions are all I make. I still say I was pleased to assist, and even given a second chance, I would gladly re-enlist."

Twilight cringed as Zecora stood up for the Black Hoof. It was a very bold move, disagreeing with Celestia's intimidation. Twilight thought for sure the princess would have blew her up on the spot. Somehow.

But Celestia just nodded, and moved onto the next, getting closer and closer to Twilight, who was trembling next to Spike. Each clack of her hooves on the polished floors was a minor attack on Twilight's already unstable stomach. Celestia came next to the wall-eyed pegasus, and squinted her own in thought for some time.

"Derpy Hooves, is it? Ponyville's residential mail-mare?"

"Yes ma'am!" She gave a quick salute. She was more at ease than the others, but still had an uneasy smile on her face. She definitely understood the gravity of the situation, but attempted to keep a confident front.

"I believe my sister employs your services regularly. Moving on though, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Well, I just deliver the mail! Y'know, the contracts and stuff. But Discord wanted every member in the big fight."

"Very well," Taking another step closer, she came to the three fillies again. "Do I need to ask? Cutie marks?"

They all answered, gloomily in synch. "Cutie marks."

"As expected." The last three were in her reach now, Rainbow Dash, Spike and then Twilight. "Rainbow Dash, you?"

"You can't tell me some ponies don't deserve what we give 'em." A brief outburst of brashness from her lead to Twilight cringing once again. The cyan pegasus soon realised her own folly though. "Sorry. I don't know what else to say. It's fun. Twilight knows all about that."

Twilight had the overpowering urge to shoot daggers at Rainbow for causing Celestia to look in her direction. Frozen in place by her mentor's focus. Right next to her now, she was talking to Spike.

Spike didn't seem able to rightly explain. "Erm..." He scratched his head and smiled nervously at the princess. "...What Rainbow said? I only got Twilight in, really." And once again, all focus was on the purple unicorn. All my hate, Spike. All my hate.

And then Celestia was in front of Twilight. Staring at her in silence. All the time she had spent in the Black Hoof lead up to this moment. She always thought about the consequences of what she was doing, what each action could cost her. She was a worrier, and rightly so, as now the ruler of the land was breaking down every fibre of her body, without doing a thing.

So much time to think about how she could of explained herself had she ever been discovered, and only speechlessness to show for it. She couldn't even sweat in anxiety, it was more just disappointment. Never would she have expected that they would be caught, despite how she always complained about it. For some reason, she thought everything would turn out right every time, as it had before.

But being dependant on forces outside her control was her weakness, and now it was stomping all over her.

"I... It was worth it."

WHAT?! Her brain screamed at her, and every sense that she had told her that arguing with the sun goddess was a terrible idea.

"Maybe not the Discord part, but if it was necessary in keeping the group together, he was worth hiding."

STOP. SPEAKING.

"As Rainbow said, it was fun. More fun than I've had in a while. I even ran out of words to describe what I was enjoying. Exhilarating, exciting, stimulating... They don't even come close."

HER: PRINCESS OF THE SUN. YOU: LIBRARIAN.

"Besides, Discord's defeated now. You should be happy we got him again, he was slowly escaping. Granted it was probably all the chaos that we were causing that broke him free, but sooner rather than later, right?"

IT'S LIKE YOU WANT TO DIE!

"So, I'm sorry, Princess, that you're upset with us, but now that it's over, I only want to get out there and throw another pie."

In a shock twist, Twilight had not yet been killed. Celestia regarded each word with the same expression of all the other ponies. And after letting everything out, the world was off Twilight's shoulders for a few relaxing moments. Until she decided to shrink into the ground, taking in the fact that she must now bear the fury of the sun.

Twilight looked up from the ground, and spotted Celestia... smiling?

Paused, closest to Twilight, she thought about her words with a distinct smirk.

"Hypothetical question, my student." Celestia said. The smile was completely unnerving Twilight, why is she smiling? She shouldn't be smiling, she should be banishing, bringing out the moon-cannon.

"Let us say, that there is an alicorn, in a very high position of authority." She took centre stage now, addressing the whole line of confused ponies. "And there is a pony, another fairly-important one, that doesn't particularly agree with Her means of governing the land."

The other ponies were catching on, but Twilight refused to believe that Celestia could even be suggesting such a thing.

"Hypothetical, remember." She winked at Twilight. "Allow us to also say, that they perform rallies, campaigning against Her methods."

She took a deep breath, and then spoke in a much more friendly manner. "What would the cost be to publicly disrupt one of these rallies, making sure that the leader is out of action for a while?"

The tension between everypony, zebra and dragon had ended. Everypony but Twilight, anyway.

"Hypothetically, of course," Fancypants started. "The group that would be willing to disrupt this should have adequate supplies, and any extra costs would be trivial to cover with minor change."

Even Pinkie understood. "And! All the planning would be easy! A location, a time and a date is all we- they need!"

"I see." The princess said to herself. "Maybe, the alicorn would be willing to offer accommodation, funding and official access to the palace. Maybe there would be another job for them after that, and maybe another. Taken at their own pace, and with the full support of Luna's Shadow Army."

"Maybe that would be awesome!" Rainbow Dash shouted, to which the others murmured in agreement.

As Celestia walked down the line of excited ponies, she 'accidently' spoke to certain individuals.

"The alchemy chamber would be ever-open, and free to use." Zecora's eyes widened.

"Twenty-four hour access to the royal kitchen, staff always at call to make the finest muffins, cakes... pies." Both Derpy and Pinkie salivated at the thought.

"Of course, the Canterlot library would be close at hand for the more studious of them." It was obvious who that was directed at.

"I think that group would be more than happy to help in such important matters." Fancypants said, and looked for approval from the others; receiving nods.

"Fun game, these hypotheticals." Celestia chuckled, and a flash of dark light appeared behind her. Once the magic had faded, Princess Luna stepped closer and greeted them all.

"Hello, once again, everypony. Sister, I trust your little act is over now?"

"For now. We were just discussing how the Black Hoof has become our go-to group for political disruptions."

"We were?" Scootaloo asked her two friends quietly, to which they both shrugged.

"T'will be a pleasure working with you all. My sister has, no doubt, made a number of enemies in the past."

"This is amazin', Princess! We seriously get your permission to do this stuff?" Applejack wondered.

"Of course. I have to say, ever since I read about that Manehattan destruction my interest has grown for your group. Very intriguing, indeed." Celestia said. The Black Hoof began moving around more freely, exploring the wonders that the shimmering throne room held.

"However," Luna said. "Officially, you shall not exist. The royal guard and staff will deny any involvement, no matter how many know you are real or not. It could prove useful to recruit your other two friends to this cause, as well. Fluttershy and Rarity?"

"I'm sure Rarity could mess around with the outfits a bit." Rainbow Dash said. "As for Fluttershy... I think an army of birds would be pretty cool!"

"You hear that, Twilight?" Fancypants came up to her and asked. "Government-endorsed. My, how we have grown. Isn't it wonderful?"

Twilight couldn't think correctly. So much had just happened. The thing she feared the most, being discovered, turned out to help them more than ever before. Furthermore, she would actually get to enjoy working with Black Hoof without intimidation from authorities. More trips to Canterlot meant that she could talk to the princesses more, as well as her parents. But still, one question plagued her mind.

"Fancypants?" She asked.

"Yes?"

"Why is it that everypony couldn't care less about how absurd this whole thing is? This entire situation is silly. We've managed, through throwing pies, to become some kind of organisation that is feared. Actually feared by ponies. I don't understand how everypony accepts it as it is, doesn't poke any further and simply puts up with the craziness. It isn't normal."

"My dear, normality is overrated. When one calls themselves normal, they also deny the independence they are entitled to."

"Yep!" Pinkie cheered. "There's no fun in being normal, else what makes you different from everypony?"

"But then, who sets the standard? What is average?" She pondered back a reply.

"Maybe 'normal'," Celestia started. "Doesn't exist. You can't go through your life adapting to different barriers, Twilight. You need to be unique, special. You already are. Everypony has differing thoughts, activities and secrets which define them."

"Even you, Princess?" Twilight said.

"Of course..." Celestia then noticed that everypony was thinking about her possible secrets. "But Luna has bigger ones!" She quickly blurted out.

"Wait, what?" Luna suddenly turned on her sister. "Don't you dare, 'Tia!"

Celestia shot a hoof at her and spoke rapidly. "Luna still sleeps with Mr. Snuggles!"

"DAMMIT, YOU PROMISED!" Luna instantly lifted up Pinkie's cloak and telekinetically lifted out the two pies she had stashed under there. She launched them at her sister, one hitting her side and the other hitting her face. Celestia shook of the crumbs and cream, before retaliating.

Magically opening the doors behind her, she brought out dozens of the pies from the royal kitchen. It was as if she had this moment prepared. Within seconds, the, supposedly qualified, rulers of Equestria were engaged in a royal food fight.

Pinkie must have somehow convinced the others to join, as now Clairifiers, tots and pies alike were flying through the air. There was no mercy in this throne room, or sensibility. The guards watched on, entertained and puzzled.

The Black Hoof could now prosper. With government backing, the secret organisation would grow even more infamous, as well as respected by many. New recruits, inventions and targets ahoy!

A week later, Pinkie's basement's contents were all moved into the Black Hoof's very own section of Canterlot Castle. The base was up and running, and somehow, still kept that quaint underground charm to it.

Twilight was reading in one of the many cosy sections of their new headquarters, undisturbed. Without Discord, things were much more peaceful.

Black Hoof members came in and out. Zecora was taken by the alchemist labs, regularly visiting. Fancypants lived in Canterlot anyway, so it was mere convenience that brought him back, and finally having the chance to improve the Clairifiers. Derpy had more jobs with Luna, and always stopped by to deliver the simpler contracts. It gave the others more reasons to visit Canterlot, Twilight and her friends stayed for days at a time in the expensive new safe-house.

"Twilight!" Pinkie shouted, bringing her out of her concentration. "We got a new contract!"

"Great! Who's going?"

"Well, I think we need a vacation... so... ALL OF US!"

"Huh? How? What is it? Where is it?"

"The princesses don't like the prime minister of Trottingham anymore!"

"So... we're going to Trottingham?"

"ROAD TRIP!"

Author's Notes:

Well, there it is, my first fanfiction.
Ah, it seems like only yesterday I released the first chapter with all my notes still in it. Thanks for keeping that a secret by the way, haha.
Never-ending gratitude to all of you who followed this and supported it, I've really seen how much my writing's progressed, and at some point I'll probably revise the start for a potential sequel. You never know. Not yet, though.

It'd be great to see a parting comment from any of you as I bring this story to a close, as well as a rate!
Thank you all!
Ryan.