A blinding white spell of light. It dimmed and saturated to a warmer shade of teal as buildings melted and warped into the surrounding landscape. The architecture was introduced whole and unblemished. In another moment the facades grew pale, chunks vanished and banners faded and ripped under unforgiving age. The panoramic flats distorted into hills and out spruced the most verdant of pastures. Clouds spawned and fleeced the skyward blue.
I looked around me. Standing near an elegant marble fountain spurting black formless water, I observed the world shaping and forming into coherence and decaying and vanishing under the relentless passage of time. The clouds were moving at an unearthly pace. Trees sprouted from saplings. They would twist into each other while leaves die and fall to the dirt until they were nothing but black grotesque monoliths with their lives and usefulness spent.
From the roofs of the skies came a lonely iridescent halo wafting down to the earth. Drifting forth to me.
Its movements eased before me. For a moment, I gazed at the kaleidoscopic halo and listened to the soft hymn which emanated from it. A choir of divine souls displaying a holy tune.
It began to speak in a voice lacking expression. It had no eyes and no mouths but its conveyance was whole and absolute, a speech divine and resonating along the dreary landscapes. “We have been waiting for your arrival. Welcome.”
I moved my gaze to our dilapidated surroundings. “Where am I?”
The crepuscular sphere remained unaltered as it answered, “This realm has many names, but always a common purpose and a common description. This is a medium of judgement and roads; a spectrum hosting the good and the nefarious, the ignorant and also the wise.
This is your limbo between your lingering mortality and an imminent departure.”
I calmly returned my eyes to her. “What would my said judgement be?”
She seemed to pause. There was an instance of hesitation before a matching apathetic expression to her response. “We offer to grant you apotheosis; we will bestow upon you eternal life.”
I took a step back, remaining focused on the presence. “Why?”
“Some ponies fulfill their lives living in a serene peace. Others exist as messiahs to purposes they deem true. Then there are ponies; ponies like you.” It paused. “We watched and listened to what you said and what you discerned. Struggled alongside you from your failures and perils, and often do we find that you would celebrate and rejoice in the triumphs and achievements of others, and so rarely for yourself. Truly, there is not a princess who have given more to Equestria. You have chosen to squander your span in devotion to the existence of others and now, we seek to render intervention. We seek it because you fathom the nebulous truth of selflessness and faith. Heed not of repercussions of your unparalleled virtues, of those we both know some.”
The orb of holy light rose higher above me and shone its light brighter. Prismatic rays reflected off the blackened world and I watched as the macabre landscape began to return into the white abyss of which it came.
A new world was forming, one of the clouds. The blank canvas we stood on once more painted itself into a sky of sanctuary, a true haven retired of evil and fatigue. We stood in near darkness on clouds with a brilliant night sky, a tranquil rich blue punctuated by passing stars.
The halo lowered itself in front of me once again. I felt a caressing warmth as she dispersed her energy. Her light dimmed and the hymn silenced to a somber melody.
Her voice rang out across the cumulous, “You have proven yourself worthy-”
I raised my hoof, silencing the goddess.
A stunned silence hung in the air, a stagnant pause where even the choir ceased. “I thank you for your offer, but I think I shall follow Death, in the end.”
The shocked silence became almost tangible before she finally answered, “May we ask, why?”
I turned away from her and paced, gazing up at the veil of stars. “I do not need to live any longer, for I have lived enough,” I explained simply. “It would be selfish of me to cling onto my life, never giving an opportunity to those who seek to have a hoof for a better tomorrow, to learn the true values of what it means to be compassionate.”
The voice said softly behind me, “A better tomorrow for those you selflessly serve.”
I turned my attention towards the orb of light as she gently hovered next to me. “That’s what I said.”
Letting a smile lift my features, I sat down and spread my forelegs out in an insignificant embrace towards the galaxy. “The life I lived is already a gift in itself and how I lived it was not an encumbrance or obligation as much as it was a choice.”
She moved in front of me once more. “What of that of your apprentices? Your students?”
“My friends-” I muttered, “Who will commiserate my passing will fathom through grief, and for that I am grateful.” My heart dropped and my chest tightened. My eyes burned from the beginnings of tears. Yet, I kept my smile. “I've finished paving the road for our children to follow, finished carving the plaque which they will read and eventually add onto when the time is right. I am needed no more, for I have left a legacy.
After all, I would like to join the rest of my friends, Celestia, Luna and countless others in the hereafter. I've missed them.”
We shared a thoughtful silence. A moment passed before she said in a barely discernible whisper, “Even in death will you assume the benefit of others. Extraordinary.”
I tucked my wings closer to myself, though I felt no cold. “Indeed, time could be our motivational friend, or a restricting enemy. It’s a matter of perception in the end. It is thus through that truth that we learn never be prodigal with time, but often forced to be sparing in our endeavors.”
Author's Note
Again, feedback is very much appreciated! Chapter 2 on the way.
We continued looking up onto the blanket of stars until she broke the silence.
“Will this be the end? We now understand why you choose to walk the white path, inadvertent to persuasion.” Her light started flickering, in time with which would be a calm heartbeat.
“Yes, but there is one last request I wish of you.” I unfurled my wings and washed them into the coolness of the night. I closed my eyes and serenely bathed in the encompassing darkness. “I ask to review my recollections, to again trial through my memories.”
“We lack the luxury of time.” She answered simply.
I turned my gaze sharply towards her. “Is this land not false; an illusion?”
“The plain in which we stand may be an illusion, but why does that have to make it any less true, any less real?” She mused, “For what foolish thoughts will imply the dew of morning would be false shall it drop onto the earth from the blade of a leaf.” The clouds she hovered on softly reflected her brilliance as she glided gently back away. “Time moves here not as other realms do, but they move nonetheless.”
“Can you still show me?” I asked, brushing my mane away.
“The time that will take reminisces the amount taken to siphon every grain of salt from a rock crevice,” she replied softly. “Unless you wish to select specific memories to review, of which I can do.”
I gently rested my hoof on my chin. “Very well, may I be shown the time in which once upon I was just a mere unicorn, more specifically the felicity my friends had graced me in my youth?” A tear broke free from my eyelid and escaped down my face. “I’ve forgotten.”
The glowing orb seemed to pause in mild surprise. “Of course. I will try the best I can to siphon your most faded memories from the recesses of your mind, but understand that it may not contain the precise details as it is a recycle of visual experiences. It will not be visually omniscient, for we will be viewing the objects of your perception respectively.”
At my nod, she again rose up and intensified her light. The clouds condensed to a flat white plain thus again, and the dome of darkness that surrounded us brightened its shroud to a blaring white.
I shielded my eyes away from the light with my hoof. It was then when I heard the soft cadence of laughter, my own among others.
“‘Ya can’t catch me!”
Everything was dreamlike, now. The world surrounding my younger self was blurred, out of focus. What was in front of me I could perceive was bright and abstractly vibrant. Everything else I’ve never seen; a sea of sightless grey.
I gazed upon what I had seen. Oh, how could I possibly forget her brilliant orange coat, her tidy blonde ponytail swaying with the wind, with the freedom. An honest voice.
It’s respectable, really, the fact that she needed little to be content. All she desired in her happy sanctuary was her friends, her family. Her apple orchard.
There was a time when she started tearing down her bridges and building up walls, after she felt that she didn’t want to deal with losses anymore. She dealt with it the only way she knew how; she turned to her provicity for hard, bitter work. A strenuous physical pain that helped her forget.
I remember we made her remember, we felt it incumbent upon us to shove acceptance into her protesting senses, hooves covering her ears, tears rolling down her cheeks. Wailing. I remember that we hugged her, because that was what she needed. I remember her forlorn smile, and I remember I loved her.
I could hear murmurs, distorted hisses from around me.
A cyan mass adorned with rainbow stripes moved into view and slowly came into focus.
I remember now. The hero of the town, an unmatched however debatably justified hubris none would ever been able to contend with, and she even had the nerve to draw pride from that. But we knew it was a facade to a much more tender story. A loyal heart.
“Hurry up, Twilight! We’re going to miss it!”
An awesome willpower, a prodigious zeal for her friends, her kingdom. Insusceptible to the most seductive of temptations, and the irony would lie in her never showing up on time. I remember her remarkable aptitude in pegasus flight. I remember that I loved her.
“Yeah come on, let’s go! Go, go, go, go, go!”
A pink mare with an explosive cotton candy mane appeared on my right, moved away, and inexplicably appeared over the orange mare’s shoulder in a span of less than a second.
The walking epitome of felicity and ineffable levity. Haven’t got a modicum of logic, bless her. Such lightheartedness could very easily perceived as frivolity, but she keeps at it anyway. Because she knows it’ll make her immediate company happy, eventually, and that was really all she cared about.
A coinflip. As far north she could reach from her emotional spectrum, she could let herself fall as south as one could reach. It didn’t help that she was a master of charade, always effectively masking discontent. There were never cracks in her facade, only an implosion that would inevitably come. We’d never let that happen if we could help it, but we would always be her warm embrace whenever she needs it.
Our source for laughter. Always offering a sincere smile. I think I still remember the sound of her breathy laughter. I do, however, certainly remember I loved her.
“Now slow down girls, we simply cannot keep up!”
I’d shifted my vision, and everything else besides the white pony dissolved into a grey shroud as I turned my focus to her.
It wouldn’t be such a far stretch to suggest that she had a certain serendipity on consequence, and the fact that she strided with such humble graciousness, spoke with such feminine eloquence, practiced such unbiased generosity to even those others would deem a lesser pony, gave us all the reason to look upon her in reverence. To love her.
She stopped giving, once, when she stumbled across a clandestine relationship that effectively crushed every virtue she stood for. There was denial, there was crying, and then silence. She sketched, sewn, stitched, just as before. But there was something missing this time. Her work always regarded meticulously by herself, immaculately corrected, she was always strict about her deadlines. She’d sleep inordinate hours, work endlessly, but at the end of the day she always got things done. Only this time, there lacked a fervent passion.
When she refused to speak to us, her inspiration room was organized and sterile for the first time in a long time.
One of us went up to her, shook her, trying to break the stoic, callous demeanor she’d crafted for herself. It wasn’t until it was screamed straight into her face how she understood what she was going through, how she just wanted out for a time. Her eyes started to glisten, and I remember that we all hugged her, I remember that I loved her.
“Here Twilight, let me help carry some of those books for you.”
Some load was relieved off of my back, and a yellow pegasus tucked them between her wings. Peculiar, in retrospection. She’d choose walking to flying anyday. Vertigo, she explained, but also because you could more fully appreciate things that bless your perception. You speed across pastures riddled with wildlife, with carnal charm, never giving it a second glance, always deadlines, destinations, deadlines, destinations. She never needed her head in her clouds, her heart was already in the roots in her soil, the souls of her animals. But mostly because of her irrational and extremely ironic fear of heights.
You never needed to speak to her to just feel her aura of quiet grace, never needed to touch her to discern a friendly warmth. Always listening, always silent. She only spoke up, only fueled a righteous anger when it was for anyone but herself.
She was the only one among us who truly knew how to touch and inspire others by her mere presence, and it was endearing to know she never took cognizance. The blush on her cheeks, it melted our hearts.
We never thought there was a single pony who would want to hurt her, to touch the silk of her mane for any other intention than a soft caress.
And who would’ve guessed that she would insist on entering the ward of the deranged lunatic, wiping blood from her forehead and limping to visit the manic degenerate? She nursed him herself, demanded that he lost the hoofcuffs at the compromise of a more secure ward.
We did sometimes wonder if she was too complaisant for her own good, but she never really bothered for her own good if it meant betterment for others. Always there, always kind.
Time was kind to her, as she was to it. I remember appreciating her warm sincere presence, as I so remember I loved her.
There were stars above, twinkling and shining as the last meteor shower of our generation came to an inception.
We’ve reached the apex. I took my books off in between my wings and carefully, I laid them in front of me. Front and center, was a book many years ago I thought lost. It was hiding inconspicuously among the other books, its pages reduced to black ash. It was virtually useless.
Yet, it was here.
I recall the fatigue in my limbs, the heaviness of my eyelids, of me. I recall as though from a half-remembered dream. Maybe it was. The flora from the distant hills swayed and rippled in peaceful conformity with a zephyr, and as I lowered myself, I felt complete. Levitating a burned book, seeing my friends circle around me and settling down, I felt like I could define infinity.
A soft breeze caressing my being, and I listened to muted murmurings around me. Smiling at my friends, and they’re smiling back.
I had gazed, sore but soaring, up at the canopy of stars. The intricate tapestry of the night started shifting, moving.
The galaxies sang as Luna’s abstract masterpiece came to life. Stars streaked across the night sky, like fervent strokes of brushes against a canvas. Cosmic debris winked in and out, quick and graceful as a passing winter. Not mere perseids shooting through the night skies sporadically along the hour, but a rapid series of meteors sprinting their infinite journeys.
My friends huddled close, enthralled by this nocturnal, moving art. For a moment, our breaths were held and unified, and in unison, our hearts beat.
Fluttershy bowed her head, and rested it on her forelegs. She blinked at me, so tired.
Her head drooped and her body slumped. The breeze swept her cascading mane across her back as she fell into the alluring grasps of sleep. A crystal-like tear seeped from behind her eyelid, and escaped onto the dry soil beneath her.
The book dropped and the magic ceased, and as swift as its inception, the vision dissolved back from whence it came.
The Goddess drifted silently into my obscured vision as tears pathed down my face. She said nothing, and instead from her aura came a song of great sadness, a song of tears and bones that I hear every night when I lay in restless sleep.
I gazed in resigned desperation, a deep pressure upon my heart and a throbbing ache in my limbs as for the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to embrace my desolation and despondency. The loss once again became a recurring revelation. And loneliness, the language for the conveyance of my sadness sang out of my being in a melodious threnody.
The stars around us winked out, and into a void the clouds seeped back, returning to their oblivion. I kept my eyes fixated on the blinking halo as my song rose to a crescendo and I felt a peaceful serenity as it was there under a series of chiming whispers and somber voices where the world ceased on a quiet requiem.
Of course, we could fail. We may have our limbs bound, an insurmountable wall and red skies between us and freedom, where valor and love is beyond reach and recognition. But the hope we hold in our hearts shall never burn out or be stolen away shall it continue to throb blood through our veins.
