Mandroid's Clop and One-shots.

by Mandroid

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Main 6, Anon, Original Character, Comedy, Spa Ponies, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Sex
Length: 23135

A collection of both NSFW and SFW works I've done that don't fit into other fics.

In my time as a writer, I've written some NSFW things that are canon in some of my stories and a few mindless one shots. Instead of marking an entire story NSFW over a few clop chapters or making a whole new story JUST for a single one-shot, I've decided to lump them all together here for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

Published 2013-02-25 00:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-02 08:41:14 UTC

Bros in Equestria Chapter 68.5: Estrus Mk2. [CLOP]

Year 2 in Equestria.

The house was silent. The door locked. The windows sealed. The two of you step out into the hallway to see each other for the last time for a while.

The two of you are fed, hydrated, and ready. You approach one another and shake hands.

Your bro snaps off a salute. "For those about to die..."

"We salute you." You say, returning the gesture.

You hear a "good luck" over your shoulder as you both step into your rooms.

Inside you each find a mare waiting on your bed.

Winter is wrapped up. Hearts and Hooves day has passed. Neither of you has work.

In fact, the entire town is more or less shut down.

Silently, the two of you close your doors.

Let estrus begin.

-Anon PoV-

Rainbow flutters up to you as soon as you shut the door. "Hey you..." She says as she rubs your noses together.

"Someone is antsy..." You say as you wrap your arms around her and lead her to the bed.

Rainbow spins you around with a quick flap of her wings and pushes you onto the bed.

"Hehe...You could say that..." She says as she lands on top of you and starts nibbling at your neck.

You let your arms drift down her back, arcing past her shoulders and up her wings. Dash buries her head in your neck as she lets out a gasp. You manage to get the tip of her ear in between your teeth as you rub her wings. "Well...what kind of husband would I be if I didn't try to help you out here?"

Rainbow doesn't say a word as she huffs and puffs and jumps into your mouth. You fight Rainbow's tongue for dominance as you rub the joints of her rock hard wings.

It's a fairly easy task, Rainbow is already a bit out of it from estrus and it seems that she has to stop every so often to release some moan of gasp as you rub her wings.

"Th-that should be cheating..." Rainbow gasps out as her wings continue to throb.

"Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?"

Rainbow slides her hooves under your shirt and hoists it off over your head. "Fight back." She says with a grin.

Rainbow dives back down to you, this time aiming for your neck. She nibbles and kisses a line down your collar bone and onto your chest, sending surges of pleasure throughout your body.

Rainbow stops at your belly button as she fumbles with your pants. "You sure you want to go here?" You ask. Dash looks up at you, that competitive spark lighting up her eyes. "If you're gonna go after my wings, I gotta level the playing field..." She says with a grin.

You throw your hands up in surrender before you give Rainbow a hand sliding off your pants.

She's able to work your boxers herself as she frees your member. "Hehe...Got you excited, Anon?"

"I have a sensitive neck." You say.

Rainbow eyes your head. "Heh. Don't I know it." As she says as she begins planting light kisses on you.

You arch your spine as Rainbow begins to take you into her mouth. "R-Ra-" You try to talk, only to find your words dying on the tip of your tongue. Speaking of tongue, Rainbow is beginning to bring hers into play, lightly dancing around your shaft as she bobs her head up and down.

The most you can do is try and hold on to the bed as the Rainbow alternates between tightening her muscles and playing with her lips.

Soon, a sound other then gasps or moans fills the room. "Hmmmmmm."

You're almost sent over the edge at that alone before you reel yourself back in. Dammit, hummers were unfair.

Rainbow pops you out of her mouth. "Damn, Anon. I didn't think that little trick would work then well on you." She laughs

Rainbow begins the work one side of your shaft as you collect your thoughts. "Oh no...I'm not that easy." You say.

"I promised my wife a decent estrus, and I intend to deliver." You say with a grin.

You really can't say you're entirely confident in your words, but a brave face can't hurt.

Rainbow giggles and moves up to your face. "Well...I don't see any more reason to hold off then." she says. Rainbow brushes her lips against yours a few times before bringing them together.

You wrap Rainbow in your arms again, this time paying equal attention to her wings and flank. Like clockwork, the moans and gasps start up.

You pull Rainbow closer and let your hand glide down her toned cheek and onto her leg. Rainbow cups your head between her hooves as her tongue darts around the inside of your mouth.

You break the kiss and trail down Rainbow's neck with your tongue.

You didn't let up on her wings or flank either, earning you a faint "A-Anon..." For your troubles.

You scoot yourself into a sitting position on the backboard of the bed as you nibble on Rainbow shoulder. "Want me to stop?"

Rainbow loops her hooves around you under your arms. "Not on your life..." She moans.

You continue to trace a path up the side of Rainbow's neck. "...Want to keep going?" You ask. Rainbow remains silent, but lowers herself enough so that the tip of your member pokes her marehood.

You believe you have your answer.

You place a hand around your member as you guide it into Rainbow. "Easy does it now..."

Rainbow has her head on your shoulder and groans. "Anon, I'm tired of easy."

With that she slams herself down on your member until your hips are meeting. You let out a loud moan and lean back against the headboard. "You may be...but I can't say I'm not open to more easy..."

Rainbow begins to kiss your face as you work over her shoulder again. She also starts grinding on your member, sending new waves of pleasure through your body at predictable intervals.

Dash squeaks and clamps herself down tight as your hands find her wings again. You laugh as you journey up Rainbow's neck with your tongue.

The two of you find each other's lips and Rainbow increases her pace.

You let one of your hands fall and grip her flank, the other sending Dash into fits as it twisted the sensitive joint at the base of her wing.

Dash still hadn't relaxed from before, she was gripping your cock pretty tight. That coupled with the head you got earlier was pushing you to your limit.

Dash had placed her hooves on the headboard as she bounced and grinded in your lap. "Anon...I-I'm..."

"Yeah...Me too." You grunt out.

You remove your hand from her wing and move it to the back of her head to bring her in for another kiss. At the same time you take a deep breath and begin thrusting with all your might into her.

Dash moans inside your mouth as your tongues dance around each other. Rainbow eventually wraps her hooves around your head and grunts. Her insides clamp down on you and her wings start errantly flapping.

Dash's juices wash over your member and send you over the edge. You break the kiss and pull Rainbow close to you as you drain yourself into her.

The two of you sit there gasping for air as you stop convulsing. Rainbow picks herself up and begins kissing your neck softly.

"Heh...One down..." You say.

Rainbow works her way up to your lips and begins to give you quick pecks. "And a pretty good one too..."

You chuckle. "G-glad you enjoyed it."

Rainbow hooks her hooves around your neck. "A step above our first estrus together, huh?"

"Well...the bed is better than the rocks..." You give her a tender kiss. "But the company is just as good."

Rainbow just laughs and pulls you down onto the bed again.

-Mous PoV

-

You heard Rainbow and Anon go at it almost the instant you shut the door. Crazy kids...no appreciation for proper pacing.

It was mostly quiet in there now as you let your hands glide up the mare laying on your bed.

"How's that?"

Lotus contentedly sighs under you. "Have I ever mentioned how glad I am that we taught you the proper way to perform a massage?"

"You may have mentioned it once or twice..."

This was not the first time Lotus asked you to rub her back before you slept together.

You move your hands back down her body, close to her cutie mark. Lotus shivers as you rub her flank.

"Have I found a tender area?" You whisper into her ear.

Lotus chuckles. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

Oh so that's how it is.

You straddle the small of Lotus's back and let your fingers dance over her ribs.

You lean in close and whisper into her ear. "Perhaps I should try something else then...?"

You let your fingers drift up her body as you switch ears. "Perhaps you'd like to conduct things for a while...?"

Lotus lets out a low moan as you rub the nape of her neck and press yourself up against her. "Or...perhaps I should just keep whispering into your ear..." You kiss her neck. "...Everything I plan to do to you over this estrus..."

Lotus lazily turns her head to you. She looks at you with half lidded lust filled eyes before she brings her lips to yours. Lotus breaks the kiss after a while and leans up to your ear. "I think you should get back to work..." She whispers.

Hehe. Yes boss.

You swing your leg off Lotus and get off the bed to prepare to continue the massage. Imagine your surprise when you look back to see Lotus turning over.

"What's all this, then?"

Lotus looks at you with those half lidded eyes that make your heart skip a beat. "You've paid more than enough attention to my back...I think it's time we try something facing each other..."

You drop to your knees. "What did you have in mind?

Lotus rubs a hoof over your bare chest. "Oh...I'm sure you'll think of something..."

You reach up and run a hand through her mane as you bring your faces closer.

"Well...how about we... start up here?"

You tenderly kiss Lotus as you run your hand through her mane. You trace your other hand up along her stomach and cup her face in your palm. You break the kiss and begin to slowly work your way down the path you traced, planting kisses and nibbling as you went.

Lotus sighs as you go. "Such a drama queen..."

You stop as you reach her stomach. "I simply want to ensure you have a good time." You quip.

You continue down her stomach and onto her leg, gently massaging the tender area of her flank as you went.

As you spread Lotus legs you get a good look at how worked up she is.

"You are ruining our bed sheets."

Lotus tosses and turns at your touch. "Mmnnn...And who's fault do you think that is?"

You look down at her marehood.

"I wonder what I should do..."

Lotus silently writhes as you spell your name on her cutie mark.

You purse your lips and blow a stream of air over Lotus's marehood.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH...YOU'RE TERRIBLE." She shouts.

Heh.

You crawl back up to her. "Would you have it any other way?

Lotus grabs one of your hands and slides it up her chest and around her head. "Perhaps a bit more...expedient in some matters..."

You throw on your offended voice. "Why Miss Blossom, whatever do you mean?"

She traces her hoof down your chest again. "Two years ago, you were hiding in a doomsday cult on a hunch...and the year after that, you ran into a cave to save a group of foals based just on a letter..." She says the last part as she moves over your long healed stab scar.

"I spent all that time alone...wondering "Just what trouble is he getting himself into?". And then you come back with a half dozen scars and a smile..."

You reach out and start rubbing her ear. "Are you complaining?"

Lotus laughs. "On the contrary...Stories of your suicidal overconfidence have spread all over Equestria, if my mother is to be believed. Why, if we weren't together, you would have admirers from here to Canterlot."

Lotus wraps her hooves around your neck and pulls herself up. "But I have you all to myself..." She rubs her hooves on your back. "The big dangerous alien and I, all alone in his den...One can only imagine what those other mares think we do together..."

You were wise to this. Normally, you and Lotus were rather straightforward in bed. But every so often, the planets would align and let out a side of Lotus that was rarely seen. Tonight it seemed, Lotus wanted to be taken.

You wrap your arms around Lotus and lay her down on the bed. "Well...let's make some stories to tell them."

With that you bring your lips together.

You made a point of remembering the difference between taking someone and being rough with them, a rather fine line. You toy with Lotus's tongue as the two of you kiss. You reach out and hold her hooves against the bed, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough the elicit a few moans.

What you cannot bind however, are her legs.

Legs which are now batting at your pants, in an effort to get them off.

You break the kiss. "Need a hand?"

Lotus smiles and kisses you on the cheek. "So chivalrous." She chirps.

You lean back and get your belt off. You're very careful pulling your pants down with the two of you in the bed, you don't want to fall off.

Again.

Down to your boxers, you pick up where you left off.

Lotus giggles as you nip at her neck and continues to try and kick off your boxers, this time succeeding.

As your tip strikes you, you break the kiss with Lotus. "I take it you'd like to continue?"

"Chivalrous AND attentive, I certainly lucked out, didn't I?" She says.

"Let's call it your reward for putting up with a bit of psychosis from me." You say as you position yourself.

You gently press your head against Lotus's lips. "You ready?" You ask looking up to her.

A passionate kiss is your answer. And with that, you slowly push yourself in.

Lotus moans in pleasure as you enter her. You however, have something else on mind.

Godammit, this is supposed to be special for her, we are not going to giggle.

It didn't matter how ticklish you were.

You slowly start moving as Lotus brings her lips back to yours.

You release her hooves and let your hands wander over her. The benefit of seeing only one mare for the past two years was that you had taken intricate mental notes on what she liked.

However, you found your attempts countered at every turn. When you kissed her shoulder, she was able to nibble your ear. She wrapped her legs around your waist when you tried to grab them for better leverage. You even released a giggle when you slipped your arms under her hooves and increased your speed. Luckily, it was drowned out by her moaning.

Shit, she was on today. It was getting harder to focus.

You made a mistake in nipping at her chest, it caused her to clamp down on your member. Hard. You didn't give up the pace, but you were getting close.

"B-babe..."

Lotus kissed you for a moment before she broke away and continued panting in rhythm with your thrusts. Lotus's tightness as well as her enthusiastic moaning shattered your concentration and sent you over the edge.

Your heart skipped a beat as you thrust into her one final time and spilled your seed. To your relief, you felt Lotus's juices seep down your leg a moment after.

Better than last time, at least...

You gently pull out of Lotus and collapse on the bed next to her. The two of you catch your breath together before Lotus pulls herself close to you.

She hoists herself up to your face and looks at you with those big blue eyes of her.

Your lips are pulled into a tender kiss before Lotus snuggles into your chest. "I love you, Mous..." She said.

You wrap your arms around her and pull her closer. "I love you too."

Always would.

-An End.

Author's Note

The purpose of this chapter was to serve as a convenient drop off point for anyone who didn't like all the murdering I did in BiE's last act, a sort of way to leave the fic off on an ultra happy note if they wanted.

Sexual Tyrannosaurus Anon. [CLOP]

The royal guards released you from their telekinetic grip and tossed you unceremoniously into the room.

"I was told I would get a phone call!" you yell back.

They slam the door on their way out and leave you alone. You grumble to yourself and look around your new surroundings. Looked like someone's bedroom, why in the hell did they bring you here? And what did they want anyway? You were just having a little fun...

You had been living in Ponyville for a few years now, and during that time you had learned certain...things about the ponies there.

Namely that the males had the sexual stamina of a four year old.

All it took was one party that ended in hooking up with Pinkie Pie for word to spread around the entire town. Pretty soon you found mares giving you bedroom eyes even as you walked through town.

Your moral dilemma had lasted all of a week before you found yourself "modeling" for Rarity, or helping Fluttershy with her "animals". It wasn't the worst way to live a life, doing the occasional odd job around town that usually ended in sex. The biggest "problem" you had was that thing with Rainbow Dash and Applejack and they had warmed up to each other pretty damn quick.

It may have been a mistake to sleep with Twilight however...at least considering your current situation. You ought to punch that purple bitch for telling Celestia about your escapades, that was the only reason you could be here.

The sound of the doorknob turning snapped you out of your revenge scheme and towards the front of the room.

The door swings open and two alicorns step into the room. Both Princesses? This couldn't be good...

They stop a few feet before you and shut the door, still managing to look regal even when they perform such a menial task.

"Anonymous." Celestia says.

"...Princess Celestia."

Her and her sister exchange a glance and begin to orbit you.

"I trust you know why you are here?" Luna says.

"I may have an idea..."

"And what is the validity of those accusations?" Celestia asks.

You swallow your nerve. There was no way you could lie your way out of this, they could probably see into your brain or some shit.

Better to just...face the punishment...

"Yes, it's all true..."

You take a long breath of air, one you assume to be the last one you'll be having on Equestria for a long while.

At least the moon would have a nic-

"May we see it?"

Your eyes snap open at the two Princesses. "Wha-"

Luna steps forward. "Your uhm..."manhood", may we see it?"

What in the...? Your mind is still reeling from the shock of what you were asked but you found your hands moving to your pants.

"Sure..." you say as you undo your belt and drop your pants.

You pull down your boxers and let yourself hang out. Before the sun and moon Princesses hung The Great Diplomat, scourge of Ponyville's stallions. The Princesses stared intently at it for a few moments.

"Hm...not as large as a stallions..." Celestia says.

Luna leans forward and nudges your appendage with her snout, sending a shiver up your spine as her breath hit it.

"Differently shaped as well." she says.

To your instant dread, Celestia joins her sister and leans down to your dick.

You start thinking of something, ANYTHING, that will keep you from getting an erection as the two most powerful beings in the land inspect your junk.

It's no easy task when they insist on talking barely six inches away from you, sending more and more warm breath washing over you with each minute.

Despite your best efforts, the sensation starts to become too much and your Lip Parter starts to rise. The Princesses reel back a bit as your heart rate climbs and you reach half mast.

"Uhm...w-well! I see it behaves similarly to a stallions!" Luna stammers out.

Celestia just kept flicking her eyes between your face and your dick. "Yes...it certainly does..."

You start to stutter out an apology. "Princesses I'm sorry! I-! I didn't mean-!"

Celestia silences you with a raised hoof. "Do not fear Anonymous, it is...only natural..."

She continues to cast her eyes down as she walks over to your side. "Tell me Anonymous, why do you feel you were brought here?" she asks, meeting your eyes.

You audibly gulp. "I...figured that it was about what happened in Ponyville...with all the mares..."

You pass a glance over to Luna, she was staring at your member with a hint of red on her cheeks.

Celestia chuckles next to you. "That...is not far off." she says before she presses her lips against you and sends her tongue down your throat.

Celestia's tongue invades your mouth and begins to thrash around your own. Your time with the mares of Ponyville has prepared you, your own tongue springing to life and wrestling against hers almost on instinct. It had to be instinct because your brain was still blown to pieces by the fact that you even HAD monarchs tongue in your mouth.

Whatever the reason it felt incredible, Celestia was clearly a master at this.

The way she invaded your mouth and gave you almost no quarter sent your heart beating at double time, sending your member rocketing to its full height.

Luna inches her way towards your manhood as Celestia continues to assault your mouth, slight moans coming from her throat. Celestia breaks away from your mouth and meets your dazed and confused gaze with a lusty one.

"I...wha-"

Celestia interrupts you with a throaty chuckle. "Anonymous did you truly think we would punish you for making our subjects as happy as you have been?"

Luna rears back and pushes you onto the bed.

Both the stellar sisters gaze down at you, their eyes drinking in the sights of your erect manhood and your exposed stomach.

"We simply wish to sample that happiness ourselves..." Celestia says.

Your brain finally catches up to the rest of you and realizes the situation. You are in the bedroom of the Princesses. Your pants are down and your cock is up. They both want to have sex with you.

Lucky you, huh?

Celestia lays down on the bed next to you and resumes the kiss you two were having. On your opposite side, Princess Luna crawled up and began playfully biting at your neck. You break away from Celestia and lock your lips with Luna as you place a hand on her rump and pull her up to your face.

As your tongue dances around Luna's mouth, you get a sense for the unique tastes each Princess had. While Celestia had a sharp and spicy taste to her, Luna was more subdued and had a minty taste that tickled the back of your throat. You kick your pants off as Luna slides your shirt over your head and Celestia removes both of their crowns and jewels.

The sisters wash over your now naked form, leaving playful nips and kisses as they worked their way up to your face. You begin to lose yourself in the tongues of the monarchs as they took turns dancing around the inside of your mouth.

You grab two handfuls of royal flank, eliciting twin moans from the monarchs.

They both break away from you and look down with lidded eyes.

"It would seem that our guest has finally found his vigor." Luna says.

"Indeed he has..." Celestia coos as she looked down at the throbbing appendage between your legs.

She scoots her way down to you and lifted her flank in the air, positioning it over your manhood.

"Perhaps we can finally indulge our curiosities now?" she asks as she prods her lips with your the head of your member.

You thank whatever deity is listening for the gift you're about to receive.

"Whatever her majesty wishes." you say with a giggle.

Celestia smiles back and you and lowered herself onto you.

She got the head of your member in and then started to work the shaft, grinding back and forth as she took more of you inside her little by little.

You grunt as Luna crawled up into your chest and kissed you again. You fall into a good rhythm with Celestia, thrusting your hips up into her every so often in time with her gyrations.

For Luna you wrap one arm around her and pinned her to your chest as you dominated her tongue, your other arm went up and began softly stroking her horn.

The moans of the two sisters fill the room as you pleasure the both of them.

Eventually Celestia gets down to the base of your member. "Now...we can see what you're truly capable of Anonymous." She says with a sigh of contention.

Celestia starts a new tempo, slowly sliding you out of her before pushing you back in with all her might.

Luna brakes away from your grasp and shimmies her rear up to your face, planting her marehood barely an inch away from your mouth.

"We cannot allow my sister to have all the fun...can we Anonymous...?" she pants out.

You inwardly chuckle.

"No we can't Princess."

You gently slide your tongue along the Princess of the Night's snatch and dance your tongue around her clit.

The cries and moans of the sisters fill the room once again.

"Ooohhh~...it's been far, far too long..." Luna moans as you probe her insides with your tongue. You imagine those thousand years on the moon had left her more than a bit wanting.

Celestia tried to say something, but all that came out was a series of incoherent mumbles as she slams herself down against your length with increased vigor.

Knowing what that signaled, you gripped her by the flank and thrust into her as hard and as fast as you could, sending the Princess into another mumbling fit.

Her final shout rose high above Luna's as she clamped down on you and sent a warm sensation across your lap.

Celestia sits panting on your erection for a bit, riding out the waves of bliss you drove her to.

"That...that was..." she pants as she tries to learn how to formulate thoughts again.

A small giggle escaped Luna as you continued to toy with her clit. "So...GOOD! T-to see you finally en...JOYING yourself sister!"

She places a forehoof against your head and stops you from going any further on her.

"Perhaps...I could "enjoy" you some...?" she says through gasped breath.

You smile up at her. "Of course your highness."

Celestia silently dismounts and rolls to your side, releasing a small gasp as she does and taking in her own glow as she lies on the bed.

Luna plops her head down next to you and sticks her rear up in the air.

She gazes at you with playful eyes. "What? You didn't expect to not do any work here, did you?"

Heh.

"Of course not Princess...I always welcome a hard day's work."

Her eyes follow you as you get to your knees and position yourself behind the waiting monarch. You slowly push forward and guide your member into her waiting marehood, the princess groaning as you do.

"A nice...hard...day's work..."

You gave Luna a few moments pause to grow more accustomed to you, but you started moving before her moaning died down. She writhes and moans into the bed as you continue to thrust into her, slowly picking up the pace.

Celestia had already gotten you a good portion of the way along, you had to be careful if you were going to please Luna.

That was why you were here after all, you had to give these two a show. You place one hand on Luna's flank and wrap her tail around the other, yanking it back as you thrust into her.

Luna's wings fly out as she moans into the bed, drenching both your cock and the sheets underneath with her juices.

Next to the two of you, Princess Celestia regains her composure and pushes herself off the bed. She looks to you with lidded eyes and crawls over before looking down at her sister as she wails and shouts.

"Making liberal use of the Royal Canterlot Voice, are we Sister?" she asks.

"We!...Believe it is...warranted here!...Sister!" she got out between your thrusts as you took yourself into double time.

Celestia chuckles and looks to you. "Hmm...yes it is~..." she says.

The sun princess leans forward and locks your lips again as you thrust into her sister from behind.

The hand you had on Luna's flank falls off and finds its way between Celestia's hind legs. Celestia gasps and pulls herself closer as your fingers slide inside of her. The three of you fill the room with a chorus of moans and cries of ecstasy.

Luna bucks underneath you. "YES! HARDER! WE WISH TO BE SLIPT LIKE A PEICE OF LUMBER! CONSIDER THIS A ROYAL EDICT!"

Oh she's all lit up now!

Your cries begin to grow to a crescendo as you approach the limits of pleasure that you can endure. You tighten your grip on Luna's tail and begin thrusting into her with wild abandon.

At the same time, you slip another finger inside Celestia and begin to stroke her clit with your thumb. The two sisters cry out as you keep going and clench down on you.

You dare not slow down your thrusts, but you open your mouth to try and speak.

"Luna!...M' gonna-"

The night Princesses reply came when she pushes back and hammers herself back against you, pushing you even further into her.

That was all the approval you needed.

You let your mind regress and your body take over as you pushs into Luna as hard and fast as you were able, keeping Celestia entertained with your dexterous fingers as she wrapped her hooves around your neck.

In mere moments both of the sisters released a final shout as they clamp down around both your hand and member, spilling fluids over both.

The sensation was too great for you to hold against.

You slip your hand out of Celestia and grip Luna's formed flank, sending your seed into her with a final thrust.

Luna moans and writhes into the sheets of the bed as Celestia simply hung off you.

You re-collect yourself after the bout of sexual ecstasy you had reached with these two and smile.

Could this day get any better?

You are Queen Chrysalis I and you are in deep cover in Canterlot palace. You were currently in the closest position imaginable to the only pony to ever earn more of your hatred than Celestia.

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Ruler of the Crystal Kingdom and the one responsible for tossing you out of Equestria

"Cadence" as she likes to be called had a maid who followed her around and assisted her in all things.

A maid you were now impersonating, Cadence none the wiser.

You were close to striking and taking your revenge, having been in the castle for weeks, but today there was an...energy in the air.

It certainly tasted like love but there was something else there...something...Tangy?

It didn't matter, all you had to do was follow Cadence around until you got her alone...

Still, that taste was making you feel the oddest way...

You inwardly groan for the thousandth time today as Cadence prattles on.

"And you should have SEEN little Twilight, Feather Duster! Barely five years old and already lifting books as big as she was over her own head!"

All this bitch DID was prattle about when she used to foalsit that wretched Twilight Sparkle, apparently because her idiot husband was impotent.

Serves her right.

Cadence leads you down a hallway, towards Celestia's room.

"I just want to stop by and say hello to my aunty and then we'll go work on those bookshelves, Feather Duster." Cadence says.

Finally, you could strike once you got to the room...

Cadence swung the door open and stops in her tracks.

You have to admit, even you were stunned. You even reverted to your natural form in the surprise.

At least you knew what that tangy taste was now...

Well...This is weird...

You were Anonymous and you had just been caught making two Princesses orgasm by the ruler of another kingdom and one of Equestria's most wanted.

You were still inside one of those princesses.

The Changeling, Chrysalis was her name you think, regained her composure before Princess Cadence.

Those bedroom eyes she was wearing were new though...

"My~, what a compromising position we seem to have found our monarchs in..." She coos in her flanged voice.

She leaves Cadence rooted at the doorway and trots around behind you, examining both of the princesses.

Her grin grew three sizes that day when she saw your member still inside Luna.

"It would seem the Princesses have found a consort..." she says.

Luna attempts to rise off the bed only for her wobbly legs to give out under her.

"A rather effective one at that!~"

Celestia falls onto her back and looks at the Changeling Queen with glazed over eyes. "Chrysalis...what...are you doing here?" she huffs out, still riding the waves.

Chrysalis drapes her hooves over your shoulders. "Well...I WAS here to attempt to do away with Cadence..."

She turns your head and presses her lips up against yours. If Celestia was good at making out, Chrysalis was an absolute master. Her too-long-tongue danced around yours and sent a shiver up your spine.

Chrysalis breaks away from you almost as fast as she kissed you and licks her lips. "But I believe that I have found something even better to do~..."

Cadence finally snaps out of the trance of seeing her aunts in bed together.

"A-aunt Celestia! Aunt Luna! Wh-what are you both DOING!?" she cried.

Chrysalis rolls her eyes as she ran her hooves up and down your chest. "Oh PLEASE girl! Is it not blatantly obvious? I know that Shining Armor won't touch you but you surely can't be THAT dense!"

Celestia stares at her niece upside down from on her back. "Is it true Cadence? Are you and Shining Armor not sleeping together?" she asks.

Cadence's face went from pink to bright red as she stammers out a response. "N-no! It's not- I...I mean, yes we aren't, b-but tha-"

Celestia held up a single hoof. "Cadence, dear, come to the bed."

Cadence practically reeled back. "Aunty! I can't be unfaithful! I love Shining Armor!"

"And you are not, Cadence." Celestia explains. "But you are a Princess, the ruler of an entire kingdom. It is not fair for you to have needs that cannot be fulfilled in your station."

"So am I some consort?"

Luna finally spoke up after having been mumbling the since you made her cum. "Are you complaining, Anonymous?" she asks with a weary smile.

You'd think that question through, but your brain is too busy telling you to shut the fuck up and not ruin a great thing to do that.

Cadence shifts on her hooves. "Are...you sure it's okay aunt Celestia?" she asks.

Celestia gave a warm smile to her niece and rights herself. "Come Cadence, let's see to you." she says.

Chrysalis turns your head to her. "While the Crystal Princess adjusts to the situation, perhaps you'd like to try your hand and pleasuring me?"

You chuckle.

"Who am I to deny a request from a queen?"

In a few minutes you had the queen of the Changeling swarm hanging off your neck as you prodded her backdoor.

"Uh...are you sure about this"

You didn't really have anything AGAINST anal, it just seemed a little weird for your first time with someone.

A hoof lightly smacks across your face.

"Ow."

"Anonymous, if you do not start rutting me soon, I'm going to drain every bit of love out of you." Chrysalis threatened.

"Uh...yes ma'am." you say confused.

You press the head of your cock against Chrysalis, releasing a gasp of surprise what you slip inside. Chrysalis moans slightly and bites her bottom lip. "Mmmm~...I can see why the Princesses brought you in..." she said.

You slowly push in to your hilt, Chrysalis moaning the entire time. You had planned to set a fairly slow pace, just trying to let this ride out for a while, but Chrysalis groaned. "Oh please...I am not some fragile doll, you won't break me! Give me all you've got or don't give me anything at all!" she shouted.

Oh no she didn't. This bug wants you're best, you'll fucking give it to her.

You grab her dangling leg with one hand and begin thrusting into her as hard as you can at a fairly quick pace.

Chrysalis' moans intensified and her lip biting turned into her mouth hanging open and her tongue lolling off to one side.

"Yes! Right there!" she half shouts.

Shit, you were lucky that the Princesses soundproofed this room.

Speaking of Princesses, Chrysalis' moans and shouts roused two of them to action. Luna was still resting on the bed. Celestia scooted behind Chrysalis and propped her hooves up against her back, giving you some much needed resistance and allowing you to thrust deeper. At the same time, she bent her head up and began playfully licking Chrysalis' curved horn, intensifying the moans of the insectoid queen.

Cadence was still a bit nervous about all this, but Celestia seemed to motivate her and she shimmied up to your face all the same.

"Uh...H-hi Anonymous!" she said with a nervous smile.

"Uh...hEY Ca-DENCE." you grunt out.

Redness comes up from her cheeks yet again. "Uhm...I-I'm going to kiss you now...okay?" she asks.

You don't risk talking again and simply nod to tell her to proceed.

Cadence leans forward a bit and presses your lips together.

She was shy, you could tell that much just from looking at her, but her tongue told you even more. You easily dominated Cadence's tongue, noticing a few times how it seemed like she wanted to pull back, but kept going anyway. The nice guy that you are, you take your free arm and pull the Crystal Princess close to you, a slight "Eep!" escaping her.

That seemed to loosen her up a bit because she cupped your face in her hooves and started miming some of the ways you moved her tongue.

Meanwhile, the Changeling Queen underneath you was panting like a dog in summer. Between your pounding and Celestia's gentle tongue, she seemed to be in whatever heaven her kind had.

Cadence seemed into this enough now so you released her from your grip and drove that hand into Chrysalis' marehood up to your second knuckle.

Chrysalis arched her back and tried to shout something, her voice devolving into incoherent mumbles like Luna's did before as a few drops of drool began to fall from her tongue.

With the hand on her leg, you reached in and began gently caressing the rims of the holes she had in them.

"By the Thousand Formed God!" she shouted.

Chrysalis clenched her ass down around you as you and Celestia brought her closer and closer to her limit. With Cadence in your mouth and Chrysalis around your member, you pushed your fingers as far into her marehood as you could get and began thrusting into her a top speed. The Changeling Queen moaned and groaned in time with your thrusts until she seized down on you, drenching your fingers in a viscous green fluid you assume counted as ejaculate for her kind.

Her horn erupted into a burst of magical energy that washed over Celestia's face for a moment before revealing the grinning monarch looking down at Chrysalis as of flowed off. Changeling asses are apparently tighter than normal pony asses, because the constriction around your member pushed you past the edge and sent you into spasms as you fired off your load into Chrysalis.

As the two of you let the pleasure subside, Cadence pulled away from you, her face growing slightly redder as she looked over everyone on the bed.

She met your eyes and spoke in a soft if shy voice. "Can...I be next?"

Within minutes you were lying on your back again, Cadence balancing over your manhood.

She nervously looked to her aunts who were currently lying next to you. "And...you're sure this is okay?" Celestia stops nibbling on your chin long enough to wave her niece on.

The first thing you noticed about Cadence as she lowered herself onto you was that she was tight, very, very tight. Apparently that thing about her and her husband not sleeping together was true.

Cadence gasped and gulp until she got about half of you inside her, then she stopped, he lips quivering.

Both sets.

You put a hand on her thigh and speak through the two princesses who had moved to your neck.

"Hey, relax."

Chrysalis wraps her forelegs around Cadence's midsection and plops her head down on her shoulder. "Mmmyes dear, you cannot allow nerves to ruin all the fun for you!~ Just take a deep breath..." Cadence does as instructed and slowly takes more of you inside her. "...And let everything happen naturally.~"

Cadence has her eyes squinted shut, but she nods just the same. She must really need this. The rhythm is slow, but sweet. Cadence's natural tightness lending itself well to that. Celestia and Luna were both taking turns with your mouth and neck, switching off when the other had their fill.

Chrysalis remained behind Cadence, nibbling at her ear while guiding her along your shaft before moving on to full blown kissing. And so there you lay, underneath three princesses with a queen bringing up the rear.

There have been worse fates.

Within time, Cadence breaks away from Chrysalis and looks down to you, her eyes hungry.

She drops onto your chest, all but pushing her aunts out of the way. "Kiss me Anon." She wraps her hooves around your neck. "Kiss me like my husband would..."

Cadence doesn't wait for a response before she jumps down your throat.

When Cadence had first come in here, she was intimidated by the situation and generally just all around shy. That Cadence was apparently just looking for a Changeling queen to make out with her and give way to sex fiend Cadence.

At least, that's what you gathered from what you could see.

Cadence's mane blocked most of your view, but you could make out a few things. For one, familial relations are apparently looser here in Equestria because both Celestia and Luna were trailing their tongues along Cadence's ever stiffening wings.

You didn't see Chrysalis so much as feel her, or rather, you felt a very long tongue slide up your shaft whenever Cadence would pull you out of her. Eventually the feeling simply stopped, Chrysalis' voice however did not. "My my~..." she cooed. "Such gusto in our fair Crystal Princess."

Cadence couldn't respond with her tongue down your throat, but you think you hear something that could be considered an affirmation. You see Chrysalis rise up from behind Cadence. "Which is not to say that our illustrious paramour is not without his own ability..."

Chrysalis sinks back down out of sight as you pin Cadence against you in your arms and begin thrusting harder. You feel a single lick against your cock before Chrysalis speaks up again. "Hmm...perhaps a venture down the road less traveled...?"

You didn't feel anything, but Cadence sure did. She seized up and spilt away from your mouth, filling the room with an intense moan of pleasure. She didn't move much after that, paralyzed by the five pronged assault you were all subjecting her too. Within minutes, her pants became higher and pitched as you pounded her marehood, Celestia and Luna licked her wings, and Chrysalis did...whatever she did.

Cadence tightened up around you as she came and screamed one final time before collapsing on top of you, writhing under your touch.

The other three mares on the bed grinned down at the Crystal Princess. Just then, a thought came into your head. A devious and decadent thought.

"Hey guys, I got an idea..."

Chrysalis moaned as you inserted it, that damn Changeling Queen was always good to go, you love it. You walked on your knees back behind Celestia and looked out at your plan come to fruition. Laid out before you were four of the most powerful mares in Equestria, each gasping and moaning at what you did. You had come up with your plan once you had noticed that each member of your little party here had a rather long horn. Some were blunt, or curved or thick, but they all had them. They also all had marehood that you were forced to pleasure at your best, twice at a time.

So you had found a solution to that problem.

A train stretched across the bed, of mares attached horn to marehood together, with the ruler of Equestria at the back as she waited for you to penetrate her, something you did with great joy.

Cadence hadn't made you cum, but she had more than warmed you up.

You pressed yourself into Celestia and immediately started a hard, fast and heavy rhythm. Celestia wailed into the bed as you slammed into her, sending her horn deeper into Chrysalis.

The changeling kept her eyes directly forward as she twisted and pitched her curved her deeper inside of Cadence.

Meanwhile, Cadence herself looked as if she was simply trying to hold on as she daintily pushed her horn deeper into her aunt Luna.

And aunt Luna who was making her own enjoyment very well known as she tried to deafen you all with cries of joy in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

Soon the events of the day caught up to you and you felt yourself reaching your limit. You grab Celestia by her wings and began thrusting in as hard and fast as your hips would go.

"Celestia!..." you start.

The royal opens one eye and stares back at you. "Anonymous if you cum anywhere else I'm sending you to Tartartus!" she cried.

You were going to tell her that she was squeezing you hard enough to turn your dick to diamonds, but that worked too. You adjust your grip and take yourself into the final approach. The cries of the mares on the bed reached a crescendo of their own as you came.

Celestia was the first, drenching your legs as you emptied your balls into her. From her horn came a torrent of magic that set Chrysalis off. The Changeling Queen jerked her horn to the side and sent Cadence over the edge with a startled "Eep!" Luna nearly burst your eardrums as she rode out her own orgasm before falling backwards into the bed.

When you were sure you had no more seed to spare, pulled out and collapsed to your side onto the warm blankets. Your partners in crime all pushed themselves off the bed and crawled over to you laying down on either side of you for a well deserved rest.

As the light breathing of your companions made your eyelids grow heavier, a final thought went through your brain.

That today was a really, REALLY good day.

Anon in Cholestria

Anon in Cholestria

-Music-

You were Anonymous. You were currently running for your life.

Life in Cholestria had been simple enough, despite being a land of colorful hippos.

But then Estrus had happened.

You were just sitting in town when Hippy started feeling you up, her misaimed eyes focused on you. You NOPE'd the fuck out of there with the speed of kenyans back to your house.

"I see him!" Came a voice from above.

Fucking Rainbow Flab, how did she even fly anyway?

A pink mass of fat burst out of a nearby tree. "WHERE!?" STUPID PORKIE PIE.

You double time it past the girls into your house and lock the door. For all the good that did, Applefat burst through the door a moment later with her characteristic skill.

Twilight Fat and Lardity both waddled in behind her and used their special tooth magic to hold you down. You felt something nuzzling against your face, it's pink hair getting into your mouth. "Oh Anon, you don't need to run..."

"SCREW YOU, BLUBBERSHY!"

Lardity magic's off your pants and throws them across the room. "Well than, shall we begin?" She asks with lust filled eyes.

"Not just yet, we have more guests arriving." Twilight said.

MORE!?

A flash of light turned your living room into a Pink Floyd show and reveled two enormous hippos.

Oh god... Princesses Cholestia and Cellulite...

Cholestia and Twilight Fat started rolling their wide hippo-y tongues over each other as Cellulite walked over to your erect manhood.

What can you say? You had been here a while...

What followed was seven days of pure agony as each of the lard-asses stole your seed from you.

You were buried just outside your house after they pulverized your stomach. Your headstone was simple, reading only "Here lies Anonymous. He died as he lived: Screaming."

Harmony League of Equestria

Equestria: The Kingdom of Harmony. Established over a thousand years ago and still standing to this day.

Ponyville: An idyllic town in the Equestrian countryside that houses many of the brave defenders of Harmony.

You are one of those defenders.

You creep along the support beams on the ceiling, watching the scene below you. The Brotherhood of Evil Dogs had broken into the First Ponyville bank roughly a half hour ago. You were forced to play it safe from the rafters, you couldn't risk going down there.

Not with that many thugs and certainly not with that many Metas.

Firo, Roverlanche and Quickspot all stand in the center of the room, directing their hired thugs around and stealing everything that wasn't nailed down.

"Get chairs! They shiny!" Firo cries.

The thugs in turn lift the brass chair off the ground and carry it to one of the carriages outside. As the dogs begin to cart off the last of the loot, you make your move.

You leap from the perch you were on and land on the back of one of the thugs.

"It's him!" one of them shouts.

The rest of their cohorts jump back in shock and surprise, dropping their money before lunging at you.

Dogs never did know when to lie down.

A few blocks, chops, kicks and broken bones puts the dogs down.

"Is that it?" you ask.

Firo and his cronies back up a step.

"Get to carriages! Leave them!"

The Brotherhood and their thugs turn tail and run to the front door.

Dammit!

You bound after the dogs, getting to the door just in time to catch the dust cloud from seven carriages peeling off.

Damn...you were only able to tag one of those...

Hmm...it -is- Meta issue...

You put a finger to your ear and cue your com-link.

"Batmanon to all points, The Brotherhood of Evil dogs has robbed the First Ponyville. I could use some backup."

A double flanged voice full of authority comes over the Com. "On our way, Batmanon."

You run out of the bank and grapple onto the roofs, hoping that your ability to evade corners would help you catch up to the thieves.

The carriages moved and breakneck pace through the Ponyville streets, the dogs inside peering up at the sky in anticipation and fear.

The team would be here soon.

On cue, twin streaks of hot red hit the front wheels of the first carriage, disintegrating them and causing the carriage to smash into the ground and skid on a straight path to a nearby house.

Or would have if a white and orange blur hadn't smashed into the ground in front of it. She skidded along and into the ground as the force pushed her hooves deeper and deeper into the road.

Mere inches from the house, both mare and carriage come to a stop, sparing the innocent family inside. She huffs and climbs out of the hole her hooves dug, walking to the rear of the carriage and throwing it open.

Diamond Dogs are thrown high into the air and out of the carriage as she rails against them.

"Y'all almost wrecked that poor families' house! What've ya got to say fer yourselves!?"

You cue your com. "Letting them get to you, Powerjack?"

She tosses the last of the goods onto the ground behind her.

"Just don't have too much sympathy for folks who'd hurt a family, Batmanon."

Powerjack was always more domestic than you...comes with actually having a family.

That was one of seven carriages down.

Immediately after you turn your attention back to the carriages, one of them veers off and crashes into a lamp post. You could hear screaming and shouting on the inside of it, as well as various lame jokes and whoopee cushions. Several of the dogs are thrown from the back of the carriage, a red and black suited ball of energy bouncing around them on the outside.

"So do you guys think it's be Chimmycherry or Cherrychanga? I've been trying to figure it out for MONTHS now!"

A dog crawls away from the pile of its friends only to be intercepted by its bubbly attacker.

"Hey! Are you trying to get away! You can't do that, it'll ruin the pace!"

"Pinkiepool, what are you talking about?" you ask.

Pinkie cues her com. "The pace, Batmanon! We need to be considerate of the people reading this!"

Oh, she was in one of THOSE moods.

"Just detain the criminals, Pinkiepool. You and I will take you to Professor C later."

She thought all of your lives was a book again, it was common with her. Pinkie was a good friend, but boy did she have some weird ideas sometimes...

Four chariots remain.

You grapple over to the next roof and cut across around the turn, getting you ever closer to them. One chariot pulls ahead of the others, apparently intent on escaping from the city as fast as possible.

A small blob of black, silver, and pink flutters high over your head and lands in the path of the oncoming vehicle. To the naked eye, it would seem that a shy little filly wondered into the path of certain death.

The chariot speeds towards her.

She shuffles her wings.

The chariot bounds and bops as it draws closer.

She plays with a rabbit.

The chariot bounces over the road and screams towards her, bringing the very sounds of Tartarus with it.

The mare opens her mouth and speaks a word, a word so soft that not even the most delicate of flowers would move were she not who she is. "stop"

Waves of hypersonic force echo off of her and slam into the chariot.

The other members of your team knew bloody well to throw their hands over their ears in preparation.

The Dogs didn't.

The energy ripples across them and tore the chariot to pieces, sending small splinters over the dogs in waves. The canines crash into the ground and skid to only a few inches from the mare, passed out cold.

"Nice work, Pink Bolt" you say over the com.

You know she can't say anything back to you, but you see her nod as you run past.

You continue down the rooftops after the Dogs, the last trio of carriages heading for a fork in the road. The rightmost one breaks off down the fork, heading towards Sweet Apple Acres and out of town.

Damn!

You cue your com.

"One of them is getting away! Heading for the orchard!"

A voice full of bravado and almost masked by the sound of rushing air. "I got 'em!"

From beyond a far off mountain, a red blur flies low over the landscape. A rainbow colored boom streaks out from behind the blur as it enters the town limits.

It catches the carriage and spins around it at an almost astonishing speed before rocketing towards town square. It reaches the square and two Diamond Dogs are deposited in front of town hall before the blur goes back for another trip.

The second time presents the third dog an all the money they had stolen. The third and forth presents the dismantled parts of the carriage.

The dogs were hogtied in the blink of an eye by the red blur before it stopped dead in its tracks and tightens the knot.

The Dash: The fastest flier there was.

She whips her hair back out of her face and gleams. "Don't worry Batmanon, I got these guys for ya."

"Good work, watch them for us."

"You got it, bro!"

That left only three...

You're getting close to the edge of town now, where the fields open up and the dogs could lose you. You HAVE to stop them before that happens.

"Come on, team! Double time!"

"On it!" a voice calls over the com.

The ground of Ponyville shakes with a rhythmic thumping from a boutique at the other end of town. Dust and dirt is kicked up in her rampage, leading to a cloud of debris that can be seen from Cloudsdale. From a side street, a large white mare in deep red armor smashes into one of the carriages, sending it flipping into the wall with its contents spilling out.

The Dogs inside crawl out beaten and battered by their flight, stopping at the white hoof that slams down in front of their faces.

"Wh-who are you?" they ask.

She stomps her foot again, cracking the ground a bit.

A voice full of class and pomp speaks. "Why, are you insinuating that you do not know ME?"

"The Hunter of Gems? The Most Famous Fashionista in all of Equestria? The Unstoppable Beacon of Generosity?"

Laying it on thick, as always...

She stomps once more. "Open your ears, you covetous canines!" Her helmet is levitated off, revealing her deep purple hair. "I'm the Rarinaut, darling!"

Only two more to go.

Rarinaut's attack herded the two remaining carts into a dead-end street. One who's end you were coming up on fast.

The cart drivers panic and throw their comrades to the wind, interested only in saving themselves as they speed down the road.

From up above, the sound of billowing cloth could be heard as a lone figure floats in the air and casts a shadow over the ground. With a flick of her horn, the lead carriage was lifted from the ground and taken to the air.

The dogs inside panicked even further, Firo sticking his body out of the window to throw fire at his attacker. That fire was met with its emerald cousin as a small purple drake flew down to meet him. The pyrokenetic duel only lasted a moment before Firo was pushed back inside by the green flame.

Spikeheed was not one to be outdone by a Dog.

The purple glow flips the carriage upside down before smashing it into the ground below, incapacitating the Dogs. The caped figure floats down and meets you by the carriage.

"Good to see you again, Batmanon." she says in her double-voice.

"And you, Doctor Sparkle. Always a pleasure."

Her cape wraps itself around her at seemingly its own accord as Spikeheed lands on her back. Wheels against dirt from ahead draws both your attentions to the last carriage.

Roverlanche sticks his head out of the window. "Ponies not stop me!"

He extends his arms and causes the ground to rumble beneath your feet as his carriage gains speed towards you.

"Batmanon?" Doctor Sparkle says.

Sigh...she knew you too well, it seems.

You pull a detonator out of your belt and press the plunger, setting off the charges underneath the front two wheels of the carriage and sending it flipping end over end into a fountain.

"How's it look, y'all?" came a voice from behind you both.

Power Jack and the rest of the League meet up with you.

"Let's find out, shall we?"

You walk over to the fountain and throw the door open.

Roverlanche is laying in a heap on the "floor", his loot in piles around him. You grab him by the scruff of his collar and hoist him up.

"You Dogs aren't smart enough to pull this off on your own, who are you working for?"

You shake Roverlanche back and forth trying to get an answer out of him. What you get, however, is a small magical crystal.

The crystal activates as it hits the ground, projecting the image of an older earth stallion with a bald head.

"I need you and your pack to..."occupy" the Harmony League for a while."

Each member of the team grimaces at the projection.

"In addition to whatever spoils you may obtain from your distraction, you will be handsomely compensated after the job is done. That is all."

The image fades away, the crystal cracking systemically afterwards. Every member of the team turns round to glare at the imposing sky scraper that towered above all of Ponyville and almost all of Equestria itself.

The magical enterprises mogul that had done so much for the world while at the same time housing one of the Harmony League's most dangerous enemies, Power Jack's in particular.

Rich-Corp.

Some Kind of Monster.

Music

You’re Princess Twilight Sparkle and you’re doing something you’ve…never really done before, in a place you’d never even heard of.
The Frostback Mountains you were sent to blew a harsh and bone-chilling wind through the canyon you found yourself standing in. You increased the power of the enchantment keeping you warm.

It had all started when you were with Princess Celestia and a messenger arrived. Celestia saw to it quickly, stepping away from the experiment you were running together at the time, which was odd for her.
What happened next was…unnerving. Celestia had shooed the messenger out of the room and locked the door, leaving only the two of you inside as she went to the fireplace and threw the letter in.

“Princess?” you had asked, tearing her away from staring at the flames consume the parchment after a minute or two.

”Twilight.” She had answered. “I have a very important assignment for you…one I’m afraid your friends cannot accompany you on.” You had gulped, the last time she asked that you woke up with wings and a crown Celestia had packed a bag for you as quickly as she informed Luna who organized a private train to take you north to the mountains with the same anxiety Celestia showed.

It hadn’t been twenty minutes since the letter arrived that Celestia was giving you a lingering hug goodbye on the train platform, saddlebags on your back and only a vague instruction to “Follow your instincts to find your way.” Once you got to the mountains.

And before the door had closed, she looked down at you…almost sad.

”Be careful My Precious Student…” she had said. “And keep all your knowledge close to you…you will surely need all of it for what you face.”

“What do you mean, Princess?” you’d queried.

Before the door slammed shut and the train left the station, Celestia answered one question you hadn’t even asked. ”We call him…Anonymous.”

And so hear you stood, at the literal mouth of a cave with a face.

The face, carved expertly into the side of a mountain, extended a natural rock bridge out of it which met you on the other side of a gorge You hazarded a look down the drop and felt a wave of vertigo wash over you as you caught the tip of a jagged rock at the bottom of the dizzying drop. You step back and take a breath, preparing yourself.

Okay…so something clearly had Celestia and Luna on edge and they had sent you, alone, into the middle of nowhere where you’d wandered around for almost two hours aimlessly before you followed a sort of…singing sound to this place. And now you were staring at the face of a creature you only recognized from a trip through a magical mirror, and even then just barely.

Also there was now someone looking at you.

Wait what?

You look to the entrance of the mouth-cave and there is indeed…something standing there. It’s far, but you see it standing tall atop two long legs.

Well…introductions were in order.

You wave your hoof over your head. “Hello! Are you who I’m supposed to meet?!”

What responds to you comes from the valley itself. ”Princess Twilight Sparkle, we know who you are. You are welcome here.” Says a calm and melodic voice which echoes along the icy walls.

You wince a bit until the high pitched resonance of the ice stops. ”Please, come inside.” The voice says.

Well…invitations were invitations. You began to walk along the too-natural bridge and took the opportunity to look at the facial carving up close.

It stretched up some two hundred feet along the jagged stone wall in another almost natural pattern, as if the stone had been weathered by the elements in that shape by some unknown force…preparing it for whomever you were to meet with here.
As you cross under its dreaming eyes, you feel for a moment that you are being observed. A feeling that passes quickly but leaves the hoof-print of judgment.

“This is…a nice home you have he-EEP.”

You stop mid trot as you reach the standing figure and even begin to back-peddle a bit at the sight. He…IT stood high above you “looking” down. Except in place of any eyes, nose, or other features and wrapped in a void black suit and tie with two glowing symbols were only stars.
Stars and nebula and exploding supergiants forming the base core for spinning spiral galaxies. All encased and molded into the shape of a biped.

One that puts its stellar hands together and bows down to you.

”Your Highness.” He says with his soothing voice. “I am Nebuchadnezzar. I welcome you to this place.”

“N-Nebuchadnezzar? Not…Anonymous?”

Nebuchadnezzar rises up to his full proper stature. “No. You refer to my master, the lord of this place.”

“I…see. And you…?”

”I shall take you to him.”

Nebuchadnezzar turns on his heel and gestures down the ice lined hallway. “If you will follow?”

You nervously nod and follow “him” down the hall. While walking through the howling ice caverns, your mind races. Who was he? Who was Anonymous? How could such a creature come into existence? He was made of STARS! Was he warm to be around? Could he control that? Is there a race of star-people that you don’t know about? Does he need to eat? Does he need to sh-

”The master will answer all questions in time, Princess Twilight.”

You think of nothing before thinking “Can he hear what I think?”

Nebuchadnezzar leads you through a tunnel cut from solid ice deeper into the…wherever you were. You can look around and see the frozen victims of the planets ice age still trapped and preserved in the cold.

The thought of that chills you more than the climate can.

The ice and cold gives way to…rock. Carved rock. Carved rock in a constricted pattern. You gasp quietly to yourself as Nebuchadnezzar leads you into a beautiful amphitheater with gray trees growing up the masonry. Looking past your guide as he leads you along a magic path of light, you see a glowing white tree.

What’s more, you hear it.

Faint whispers rise from the grooves between its bark and fill the room with a chorus of hushed tones, each saying something different and particular.

The two of you pass by the tree, you’re prepared to not give it a second thought until-

”The cypher to Starswirl’s research is…”

You pause and turn to look at the tree at rocket speed. You’d been trying to crack that cypher for months, the secrets of all of Starswirl’s most advanced spells were locked inside that tome!

You had to know, you just had to.

Stopping a bit to let Nebuchadnezzar walk ahead, you reach tilt your head a bit towards the tree to try and he-

”Please do not touch the Infinitree.”

You scramble back to the path, Nebuchadnezzar is standing looking back at you. ”This is the first branch to reach this place, we have not tamed it yet.”

An untamed tree…

“O-of course. Sorry.”

Nebuchadnezzar continues down the path towards double doors in the distance.

”Come, the master awaits.”

The doors open for Nebuchadnezzar before he reaches it, beyond is a circular room of solid ice, the walls consisting of jagged crystalline growths contrasting with the smooth and not-slippery-at-all floor. In the center of the room stood a wooden table and chair. In that chair rested a clothed figure, another biped.

It was smaller than you’d expected. About half again or so as tall as a pony. Covered in what looked to be fine silks that hung off its leg as it rested it in the air, leaning into its fist while reading what looked like a leather bound journal.

”Master.” Nebuchadnezzar says with a bow. “May I present Princess Twilight Sparkle, first of her line, Princess of Equestria and student of Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria.”

The unmistakable sound of a book being closed comes from the table as the figure perks up and turns its head. You catch a glimpse of fine but narrow features with dark eyes behind them.

”I see…you may leave, Neb.”

Nebuchadnezzar bows. “Master.” And leaves, closing the doors behind you and leaving you alone with…

“…Anonymous? Is that you? Are you Anonymous?”

He pushes himself up from the chair and walks over to you, the sound of his footwear echoing through the hall. His eyes drift over you and you him. He stands before you with his hands in his pockets, his face a noble one with raven colored hair. “I’ve held many names in my years, child…Anonymous is the one I am called here.”

You nod in understanding.

”Your kind had no word for me when we met the first time, so they used one to describe the unknown…one must appreciate the theatrics of it all..”

“I...see.” you say.

”Why are you here?” he asks bluntly.

“Oh, uhm, Princess Celestia received a note about you? After that I was…sent off on a train here.”

He closes his eye sighs, it feels like the whole MOUNTAIN sighs and a gust of wind carries through the room. This again…one tries to get away…” He says as he paces around pinching the bridge of his nose.

You tap your hooves on the ground.

“Uh…right. We’re sorry?”

He sighs tiredly again.

You look Anoynmous over inquisitively, he was bipedal like Nebuchadnezzar, but seemed to possess skin, a main, eyes and ears, just like you. Or at least closer to you.

“Anonymous…you and Nebuchadnezzar…what are you? I’ve never seen the likes of you before. I’ve never seen the likes of you before.”

Anonymous is silent for a moment. “What I am…what I am…What I am is much more difficult to describe than you would think, child.”

“And why is that?” you ask.

Anonymous stands before you with a small smile as he holds his arms out wide, clattering the ice crystals with an invisible presence.

”Because there is infinitely more to me than meets the eye.”

“Try me…”

Anonymous chuckles and takes a few steps closer to you. “Daring…I certainly see Celestia’s grooming on you, My Little Princess…” he looks at both sides of you again. “Celestia and Luna…among others…both demanded I share with them what you’re asking for. Are you saying you wish to follow their path?”

You nod once, you wanted some answers as to what was going on.

Anonymous smiles wide. “Very well then…let us begin.” He says taking a few steps back.

Despite his words, nothing happens for moments.

“Uhm…how are we going to do that?”

”Quite simple, Princess.” He says. “I’ve been releasing spores into the air that I may communicate with via my mind since you entered the room, by now they’ve latched onto your brain and should be ready to induce a hallucination.”

WHAT.

”Now.” Anon says with a click of his hands.

Princess Celestia had taught you how to fend off mental attacks and you wasted no time in erecting magical barriers around your thoughts out of instinct.

They delayed things long enough for you to see something through the link between your mind and Anonymous’.

You saw a field of stars and galaxies and exploding supernovas stretching out beyond eternity towards. Comets race by and smash into one another and cosmic energy tails snake along and through every inch of space towards a brilliant green sun’s corona peering over a spot of utter darkness.

Before your mental barriers are shattered like single tree trying to stop a tidal wave, you see the star blink at you.

White hot pain fills your mind and forces your eyes shut.

When you open your eyes, you’re on a field of sand that stretched as far as you could see. You look to both sides and see the burnt out husks of what could have once been trees as the four winged scavangers flap between then.

Behind you is some…grotesquery you can’t begin to describe the nature of beyond its distended limbs, skeletal chest, and chitanous head…and the fiery ooze seeping from some “orifice” below its waste.

”Welcome.” Says a voice.

You turn your head forward and see Anonymous now standing amongst the sand.

“Where-“

”We are exactly where we were Twilight, fear not. Physically you and I are standing in my study whilst I communicate with the spores in your brain and command them to let you see and hear and feel what you must while also ensuring you don’t drool over yourself.”

You’re taken aback.

“And after?”

”We return, you have my word.”

You put the hoof you raised in concern down and nod.

“Why are we here?”

Anonymous bends down and picks something minuscule off the ground, releasing it and letting it float to you.

”I was made aware of your trip through the mirror so that allows me to leave some explanation absent.” A single grain of sand floats before you, utterly simple and identical to the ones home. ”In this analogy, consider that that grain of said…is your universe.”

“My –what-?”

”Universe, dimension, reality, it doesn’t matter. The point is, consider that the boundaries of everything you could encounter in your local plane. Born out of an explosive expansion some billions of years ago and made out of a never-changing amount of both matter and energy.”
You nod, you know that.

“Which cannot be created nor destroyed.” you answer.

Anonymous snaps and raises a finger. “Quite so, always nice to speak to someone who knows what they’re talking about. Celestia was –very- ignorant when we first met.”

Anonymous spreads his arms out and spins around, gesturing at the desert.

”Now imagine every other grain in this waste is another parallel reality. Some so similar to each other that you could spend a lifetime searching for any distinction. Others so radically different, they defy comprehension to you.”

You blink once, twice, three times in consideration. You’d hypothesized about the nature of existence like this before but… “That…many?”

”Mhm!”

Anonymous floats additional single grains up. “Here you were born in place of Celestia, here you died shortly after you were born, and here you’ve lived your entire life exactly the same as you have now down to the atom save for the fact that you and your friends only speak Prench.”

Anonymous lets the grains float away in the wind.

This was…so much…

“O-okay.” You stammer under the weight.

”And so, as discussed, all of these realities spawned from the same place. The Big Bang. And they all came into being with the same matter, energy, and potential as each other, the only difference is the variables that effected them.”

“Yes? And?”

Anonymous holds his arms out.

”And so this is beyond that. Before. This place was not made with the matter from your Big Bang, it is outside that equation.”

“How did you get here? With us? In our world?” you ask.

”Aaaah…” Anonymous says, leaning back a bit. “In order to tell that story, I must first tell another one. A tale that speaks to my very purpose, a tale of war.”

The ground beneath your hooves rumbles and quakes and far off on the horizon, slithering black tentacles the size of mountains erupt up from the ground and shoot into the sky.

“WHAT IS THAT!?” you cry.

”My Mother.” Anonymous answers, looking to the sky.

You follow his gaze up to a maddening burst of lights and chaotic sound that engulfed the heavens despite being absent previously. You can’t take your eyes off it as the tentacles enclose on it and the thundering drums that seem to emanate from its nucleus of light grow more rapid.

“What…is THAT?”

”Her husband.” You get in response.

The country sized wiggling appendages reach towards the light and sound and make the pressure build up in your head. You hear the chattering of teeth and the clinking of bone as you squint your ever-heating eyes for you dare not tear them away. The drums and teeth and bones grew louder and the lights flashed brighter until they violently ceased in an explosion that sent a wave of…nothing all around it.

The cascade blew over the land you were on, draining it of color and making all silent save for you and Anonymous.

”Mother killed her mate and unleashed His power…taking a terrible toll on our home.”

”But it was not without its own…opportunity.”

The visions around you accelerate. Flickers of shapes and figures zip by you while Anonymous talks.

”In our home, Mother’s husband’s power was so great that our fates were written in the blood that the stars dripped down to our sands. Each moment of our lives determined as we were birthed in our pools.”

He reaches down and grabs a handful of sand, letting it fall through his fingers. “However with His death, our threads were cut. All fates would be the same…to die on this spot of mud in a place alone to all.”

Above you, the stars in the sky began to wink out.

”…Until.”

The light of the stars instead makes way to a warm orange glow from above where that…thing in the sky made of shapes was. In its place there was a thing that did not belong.

The sky was cracked. And beyond it rested light.

”The death of the Many Angled One broke our plane…made a crack in the vase that contained us. And beyond it, salvation.”
Anonymous extends a hand towards the fracture and the vision speeds through it. Light and color and sound zip past you until you arrive at the other side where you both float in a cosmic sea of silent dust and fire.

”There was a beacon, a lightning striking land to signal a ship in danger…an explosion.”

“A Big Bang…” you say.

"-Your- Big Bang, Twilight Sparkle. As much as one individual can lay claim to the beginning of their creation, anyway.”

Anonymous waves a hand and shapes appear around you, fleshy beasts of bone and sinew and palps and stalks floating through the cosmic furnace around you.

”My kind saw this warmth and we followed, taking refuge from our dying world in this pocket of infinity. Thus we existed inside your cycle, despite being outward of it.”

Planets and comets zip by as Anonymous moves the vision again. “My kin settled around. Some on some worlds, others on others. Some wandered, as I do.” One familiar planet comes into sight. The two of you racing through time and space to a secluded range of mountains and the citadel inside, through the rock and stone to two waiting figures standing in a crystal room.

You open your eyes, you and Anonymous have not moved from the room you stood in.

”Satisfied with your answers?” he asks you.

You pant a bit and catch your breath. That was…breathtaking, if you could excuse yourself for the pun.

“I’ll be fine…although I want to know something else.”

”I have the feeling that’s common with you. Ask.”

“In that vision, you said that it was a tale of war and that it “spoke to your purpose”, what did you mean?”

Anonymous smiles and takes a few steps closer to you, kneeling down.

”Where there is life, there is conflict. That is what I have learned in my time in this realm. In our realm, this was not the case. Fate determined that none would rise up against the Many Angled One as he decreed it. Mother’s rebelling was the first act that worked, but it was not the first she tried. That was me.”

You cock an eyebrow.

“You.”

”Yes, very much. Mother created me to embody conflict, both the biological march of change and the sociological war of passions. I was to be the first real conflict of our world, but fate was too strong. Eventually…Mother intervened.”

Anonymous holds his paw forward and you watch as its shape shifts. “Where there is life, there is conflict. In order for more cells to be made, others must die. Trillions upon trillions of deaths take place across your body every second of every day, an eternal war of survival and evolution that happens in every being on every world in every reality.”

Anonymous bumps your hoof with his which now replaces his hand. “All of this and more is my domain. Each cell in my body is mine to command, as is the passions that lead to war, or the foresight that forces peace.”

You’re busy marveling at Anonymous’ rapid change while he talks.

”When I arrived, I wandered amongst the stars, enjoying the freedom being cut from fate brought me and watching the denizens of planets exercise it as well. More often than not, that will was exercised in conflict that bloodied the stars. At times I watched, at times I fought, at times I commanded. My campaign across the cosmos has been long indeed, Twilight Sparkle, and it was what lead me to your world.”

That was troubling.

“How?”

Anonymous sighs and withdraws his hoof, reverting it quickly to its original form. “There are times when I find myself…weary in my travels.”

“Weary?” you ask, trotting around him.

Anonymous nods. “To live something day in and day out I find here becomes…tiring, perhaps the effect of the free will I now exercise, perhaps another, but I would just…sit for eons unending as I grew weary of my purpose. That was, until I found this place.”

“That’s…ominous.”

Anonymous, surprisingly, chuckles. That makes the ice shake. “Yes I suppose it would be…but it is better than that, I promise. Your world had life…but it did not have conflict, at least not to the extent that the rest of the cosmos had.”

Anonymous waves a hand and a chair slides across the room and spins around towards you, letting him sit.

”Your ancestors, your tribes of Pegusi, Unicorns, and Terrans lived in a harmonic unity rarely seen in nature, only splitting due to outside forces. Before them even the primordial deities I watched, Sleipnir, Ordalia of the Golden City, Typhon, lived peacefully in their realms of influence. Whether this is by chance or design unknown to me...one cannot say.”

Anonymous sighs…but a content one. “Here one could evade the mires of the norm…and catch their breath.”

“But that’s not true.”

Anonymous opens one eye.

“We’ve had conflicts, monsters, Discord and Sombra and Tirek in addition to Grogar and Smooze of old. What about them?”

Anonymous smiles. “What about them?”

”Tell me." he continues. "If Discord could do anything at all, how did he lose to Celestia and Luna? Unless…someone were occupying his attention for the final strike.”

“You’re suggesting that you were there when Discord fell, really.” You say bluntly.

You feel the pang in your head of the spores effecting you. In your mind flashes an image from behind another’s eyes.

You’ve got Discord pinned on the ground, letting you slash at his face with your molten claws before going in to bite. You relished the shocked look on his face when he realized he was hurt.

”He disturbed my time here, I did not care for that…” Anonymous says as you return. Anonymous taps his steeple fingers together. “Which I believe brings us to why you are here…”

You straighten yourself. Your scientific curiosity had gotten the better of you, but you remembered you were sent here on a mission.

“Yes, the note, Princess Celestia i-“

”She is concerned with The Breach…you know it, yes?”

You gulp. The Breach was a crack in the world few but the highest scholars knew of, it was the source of magical energy that emanated from it and drifted over the planet, making the lay lines that allowed magic to happen.

“I do.”

”What you do not know is that my presence here effects it, as a planet of sufficient mass effects the gravity around it so too does the presence of...one such as I, my will could force the primordial energies of The Breach out at a quickened pace. Your Celestia is worried that my being here in my…doldrums will affect The Breach, widen it, and swallow your world whole.”

Your heart beats in your ears.

"In all my time here, that terrible event has never happened...but how can she be sure? How can Celestia be sure I won't decide to snuff this flame out? She cannot, of course... so she has sent you to fix that problem.” Anonymous stands and you gulp. He seemed a lot taller now and his eyes bored right through you.

”So do what you came here to do, Princes Twilight. Stop me.”

The package. The package! Now was the time for the package!

You reach in and pull out-

…A deck of cards.

You don't.

What.

“Uhm…f-friendly game?” you stammer out.

You were dead, you were so dea-

“HA! AHAHAHAHAHA!” Anonymous leans his head back and laughs, mouth far too wide open and fangs showing, shaking the building.

You laugh along for fear of being eaten.

“Hahahahaha! Whatarewelaughingat!”

”You equines…”Friendship is Magic” indeed…that old trick should not work on me-“ Anonymous snaps and a part of the ice table expands, along with another chair sliding over. ”-but here we are.”

Anonymous sits down. “Perhaps that is why I continue to come back and care for this place…Now come, let me deal and you may tell me of your latest experiments.”

You trot over and cock and eyebrow, but you have a smile this time.

“You watch me?”

Anonymous grabs the deck and cuts and shuffles it, flipping cards out. “I am a resident deity, I watch everything.”

You take your seat on the comfy chair and begin discussing teleportation with the Monster From Beyond the Stars. And finally, you weren’t nervous or scared.

As you knew as well as anyone, everyone needed a friend sometimes.

Author's Note

This is an idea I thought up in the shower.

Bros in Equestria Alternate Chapter 22. [CLOP]

The following is a non-canon event that occurs as an alternate ending to Bros in Equestria 22: Master Plan. Enjoy.

"I'm glad you enjoyed my show, Princess." you say.

She turns back to you, composure restored, but a smile present. "Yes, very elaborate, very fitting. You certainly have thought this through, haven't you?"

You give a wide shrug. "I told you, I'm a bit of an odd guy."

You cross your arms and begin to relax...this isn't over yet.

Celestia takes a step closer "However."

And there it is.

"There is the matter of how you managed to sneak directly above my room in the royal palace, I'm sure my Captain of the Guard would like to have a word with you about that."

Hmm...you could work with this.

"Come on Celestia, there's no fun in that. At least give me a handicap."

"Such as?" she asks as she opens her mouth into an unnaturally wide grin and flutters her eyelashes.

"Three hour head start."

Celestia brings a hoof to her chin. "No. I think not..."

Huh?

Not good...

"You interrupted my fun, Mous. While your little distraction did prove amusing, I simply cannot allow you to leave without...punishing you in some way."

You really don't like the emphasis she put on that punishment...

"While I'm sure Fancypants would compose himself again soon, it only seems fitting that the one who ruined my day attempt to salvage some of it."

Is she- Did she

"Princess, are you propositioning me?"

Celestia lets loose a throaty chuckle. "Mous, "propositioning" implies that you have the option of turning me down."

She can't be serious.

"You can't be serious."

Celestia takes a few steps towards you, you find yourself backing away. "I'm quite serious, Mous. However...if you feel like being recalcitrant...I could always send some of my guards off to that hotel off of Mane Street..."

You thrust a finger towards Celestia. "That's a fucking dirty trick."

"And it's going to work, isn't it?" She asks with a toothy grin.

You stand there, shaking in your rage for a bit.

This cunt thinks she can blackmail you into screwing her? You start running through every plan you can think of as a way of escaping here...

...but you come up blank.

Brain! What the hell!?
She's holding all the cards here, man.

And she knows it...

You feel your fists shake as you consider this. You either have to have blackmail sex with Celestia, or send Anon and Rainbow up the river.

Dammit...that's not a choice.

You glare at her as you spit out your words. "Where's. Your. Room?"

Celestia smiles and lowers her body to the ground. "Hop on~" she coos.

Bitch.

You jump onto Celestia's back and hold on as she takes off from the roof and lands on her balcony below. Some unicorn is standing in her room. "Mister Fancypants, I'm afraid that I must cut out meeting short. I have...an important matter to attend to."

Fancypants continues to eye you as he trots to the door. "Of...course Princess...good day."

You can still feel him looking at you as the door closes and you hop down. You take a few paces around the room and glare back at your captor.

"Go wash yourself out. I'm not doing your boyfriends sloppy seconds."

Celestia sighs. "I suppose that is a fair request." she says as she trots into the bathroom.

You settle yourself the edge of the bed as the bathroom door closes.

Uhg. I can't believe this is happening...

But it is happening, dude.

We're supposed to be better than this.

She outplayed us. Come on, we have to do this.

Fucking bitch.

You slowly rub your temples and toss your bag and sweatshirt onto a nearby chair.

The bathroom door reopens and Celestia steps out. She levitates her crown and other jewelry over to a beauty desk in the corner. "Ahh. Much better."

She stares at you through lidded eyes. "Shall we begin?"

The room stays silent for a bit.

"If you're expecting me to start us off, you're an idiot."

Celestia sighs as she trots over to you. "Mous, the beautiful leader of a powerful nation has taken you into her bed. Would it kill you to enjoy it a bit?"

Beautiful?

"Your narcissism aside, I am here against my will. What could be enjoyable about that?

Celestia props her forelegs up onto your shoulders and pushes you back onto the bed. She leans down to your ear and whispers. "Why don't I show you?"

Celestia brings her mouth against yours and all but forces her tongue in.

You simply lie there as Celestia probes the interior of your mouth with her tongue.

Eventually, she breaks away and gives you a disappointed look. "You're just going to lie there like a dead fish, aren't you?"

You had no intention of making this easy for her.

"You have a lot of experience making out with dead fish?"

Celestia grunts. "You could at least pretend that you're into this..."

Tch.

"But I'm not, and you know it. Your feminine wiles don't work on me."

Celestia grins a bit. "Oh. We'll see."

With that she plunges back into your mouth.

You lay there for a while, letting Celestia do as she pleases. She'll eventually get bored. Maybe.

Celestia is writhing around inside your mouth something fierce.

You admit, under normal circumstances, it may feel nice. But dammit, you were determined to not make this fun for her. Not that you seem to be making any headway on that front. Celestia is moaning and gasping as she grips your head and tries to massage the backs of your teeth.

Celestia has also been gyrating her hips a bit. She hasn't done anything remarkable ye-

Suddenly, Celestia moves herself around and manages to nudge your member directly into the area she was rubbing on.

Fuck! Was that her plan all along with this?

Celestia's gyrations bring a spark of life to your little soldier.

Damnable traitorous appendage!

Celestia stops the tongue assault for a moment. "It seems I have found what I'm looking for..."

That little moment of surprise is all it takes for Celestia to get a foothold. Suddenly, her tongue in your mouth starts to feel great, while her rubbing on your crotch breaks down your mental defenses even more.

Your brain was offline and not answering your calls, you were on your own now...

Shit! You can hear her giggling! You're losing this!

In a bout of competition induced panic, your hands rocket up and grab her by the wings.

Celestia breaks away from your mouth and emits a moan that fills the room, and also sends your jimmies rustling back to the dawn of time.

Celestia rests her head next to yours. "My! It seems that we may get you going after all!"

"Sh-shut u-mmf!"

Celestia's tongue snakes its way back into your mouth as her hips take it into double time.

You find your body betraying you. Your tongue begins to wrestle with Celestia's for control while your hands make use of your time at the spa and work their way up Celestia's wings, eliciting a low moan from the monarch.

"You're quite good at that..." she gasps.

"Heh. Comes with the territory at a massage parlor."

Celestia evades your mouth and nibbles at your neck. "Mmmm~ I wonder what else they teach you there?"

This again?

"I'm not a hooker, Celestia. I'm sure you are well aware of their habits."

Celestia continues to playfully bite your neck. "Lower your arms." she says.

You arms fall off her wings and you feel a gentle tugging on your chest.

Your shirt pulls itself off of you and gets thrown across the room as Celestia traces a hoof down your torso. "Canterlot outlawed public brothels almost a millennia ago. Many were not happy about that piece of legislature..."

"Was their monarch one of them?"

Celestia chuckles and goes back to your neck. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

You reach your arms back up to her wings and start rubbing. Okay...this wasn't torturous. Just another game...right?

Suddenly, you feel your pants grow tighter. Way tighter. You look down to see them constricted in a white glow with one part in the center rising above the rest. "Oohhh...I think we may be ready..." she coos.

Celestia trails her tongue down your bare chest and gets ever closer to your belt.

No! Not ready! Not yet!

You grab Celestia around her torso and roll the both of you over.

Celestia's face mirrors your internal shock at now finding yourself on top of the monarch. "Well! I see you're getting a bit more into it now..."

You think of an excuse quick. "Uh. It's just. I'm a masseur. Wouldn't you like to feel -these- before we begin?"

You flex your fingers as you speak.

Celestia smiles. "Mmmyes...I think that is exactly what we need here..."

Your hands fall to Celestia's legs as you silently breathe a sigh of relief.

Okay...bought yourself some time... You regress your mind back to what you learned at work and apply it here, gliding over Celestia's legs, her stomach, giving her rump a light once over.

Light moans escaped from the monarch as you worked.

You eventually drift to the exterior Celestia's leg, her moans intensifying as you slide over her Cutie Mark.

You glance up at her lidded eyes.

"The princess has a sensitive flank, huh? Have none of your boytoys worked that out?"

"Shut up and get to work, Mous..." she gasps.

You chuckle to yourself as you ply your trade on her thigh. The moans and gasps she releases as you work aren't helping.

You're really trying hard not to think about...about -that- aspect of this.

You continue to work and try to drown her out until you find Celestia's leg sliding away from you.

You meet her sultry gaze. "You've done quite enough down there...it is time we went a bit...further..."

Celestia spreads her legs and shifts her tail, revealing that which stallions have probably killed for and of which growing colts dream of at night.

And of which is scaring the hell out of you.

Okay...you have to think of something to stall with.

You grip her flank as you eye her marehood.

You audibly gulp.

Celestia is still writhing from the cutie mark massage you have her. Oh well. No time like the present.

”BANZAI!”

You dive in between her legs and ram your tongue in as far as it can go.

They probably heard Celestia cry out back in Ponyville, you're amazed that the guards don't burst in. Hell, that would probably make Celestias day.

As you probe around, you come to a realization. You have no idea what you're doing.

You pull apart Celestia's folds and begin exploring around, at first with your tongue, but eventually you bring a finger in.

Celestia won't stop moaning. "Ohhh...yes...right there. Oh, it must be heaven where you humans come from..."

You stop your assault and peer up at her between her legs.

"'You humans?' Princess, I have a na-*gak*!"

A levitating pillow forces you back between her legs. "Mous, if you do not continue what you were doing I'm sending you to the moon after this."

You silently lift an arm high enough for her to see and extend a single finger. "I don't know what that means, Mous."

Hmm.

You take your finger and jam it deep in Celestia as it will go. "AAAAH! BUCK YOU!"

"Actually, yeah! Just that!"

You eventually settle on a strategy for Celestia. You begin licking her clit and slowly insert your tongue into her. Celestia bucks and moans at your secret weapon.

Calligraphy.

You grip Celestia's thighs and spell out each letter with your tongue, as slowly as you can.

"Banana" gets her going. You think you hear her mumble your name at "Coupling". She's speaking in gibberish at "Duodenum".

The sheets below her are getting drenched with her juices as you continue.

You're halfway through the first verse of Piano Man with special guest star; your little finger, when Celestia clenches down and releases an accompanying groan.

You're about to ask what was up when Celestia's babbling brook becomes a tidal wave. One that hits you square in the face.

"Gah! Fuck! Gross!"

Your protests are drowned out by Celestia's moaning, however.

You wipe your mouth out on the curtains as Celestia calms down.

"A little warning next time!"

Celestia laughs. "Here's your warning." she says.

A white glow surrounds your pants and starts to drag you towards her. "If that's what you can do with your mouth...what you can do down there will be just as interesting..."

Your legs are pulled ever faster to the bed as Celestia spreads her legs again.

NOPE.

NO.

You slip out of your boots and slide your belt off as you shimmy your way out of your pants. You land on the floor in your boxers and socks as you slide yourself back until you hit the wall.

Celestia sighs and hops off her bed. "I was unaware that you were that fearful..."

"W-what are you-?"

"Mous, I have been alive for over a thousand years and lived my current lifestyle for many of them." she says with a small smile. Celestia lays down on the floor in front of you, her head resting on her legs. "I can smell purity a mile away."

Your breathing is heavy and rapid. This was seriously freaking you out.

Celestia chuckles. "Has anypony ever told you that you're cute when you're flustered?"

"Wh-what?"

Celestia chuckles and starts to nibble your collarbone again. "I said..."

"You..." she trails down to your chest.

She's on your stomach. "Are cute..."

She magic's down your boxers, you feel your tip strike her neck. "When you're flustered."

Celestia moves her mouth of you the head of your member.

You must have looked terrified, because she just smiled and said. "Relax."

She kisses the top of your erect member. You moan. Celestia gives a devious smile and lets a bit more of you into her mouth this time, before she pulls back. She goes a bit father on the third time, almost halfway down now.

You can't help yourself.

"Either d-do it or piss off Celes..celes-Celly."

You can't tell with her mouth full, but you think you see a smile. Then Celestia takes you in all the way to your base.

Your mouth hangs open in a silent shout as Celestia bobs her head up and down in your lap.

"F-fu-"

You can't get your words out as Celestia traces her tongue around your shaft.

That felt...Damn.

"You-You bi-"

You grunt as Celestia twists her head as she bobs.

"Youuurree good at that..."

A muffled "Mhmm!" breaks through the sounds of Celestia going to town on you.

You recite a mental oath you once heard helps in these scenarios.

There once was a man from Nantucket...Who once had a queen on his dick.

No! That's not right!

Shit. Celestia was picking up her pace.

She was alternating between bobbing and twisting on your member and simply going down as far as she could and letting her tongue dance around you.

Her horn catches your eye as she bobs. Work at the spa had taught you that those were sensitive. You reach out and grab her horn, causing Celestia to release another moan and stop in her tracks.

Celestia's eyes snap open and lock in your direction.

You absentmindedly shift your hand to the base of her horn, getting another moan for your trouble.

Celestia opens her mouth and pulls herself off you...with her tongue spiraling off your cock a moment later. "Is that how you want to play it...?" she huffs out.

"Well...gotta fight back somehow..."

Celestia repositions herself. "You're on, Mous..."

The two of you lay there for a while. Celestia bobbing her head up and down on you as you stroked her horn. Both of your moans and gasps filled the room. You might have even mumbled her name a few times...

All and all, this wasn't as terrible as you had first thought.

You look down at Celestia. "Oh come on, I've seen corpses with more vigor..."

Celestia pops you out of her mouth. "Have much experience with corpses, do you?"

You shrug. "Hey, school was expensive. I needed to make a living."

Celestia rolls her eyes and pushes her way down your length again, offering a wink as she resumes her bobbing.

At least if you're being blackmailed into sex, you're getting blackmailed by someone who can take a necrophilia joke.

You place a hand on Celestia's head and go back to work on her horn, stroking it in a way you assumed would feel nice.

Celestia begins to pick up her pace and so must you.

Your moans pick up in intensity and frequency as the Celestia licks your shaft and you bring in both hands for her horn.

Celestia starts to make strange noises, a combination of moans and words you don't recognize as you continue.

You're getting close to your limit as well.

"A-Ah...Fu-"

Celestia moans and groans and clenches her throat, sending you over the edge.

"Ah! Motherfu-

Suddenly, white sparks erupt from Celestia's horn and impact on the wall behind you.

"FUCKING SHI-AH-Ah-ah-ah..."

Celestia makes more muffled moans and grunts as you wrap your arms around her neck and shoot your seed down her throat.

You lie against the wall as Celestia cleans up for you in silence. Eventually, the two of you are simply laying there in peace.

You decide to shatter that peace. "So, did I just dodge a magic facial?"

Celestia laughs a bit. "When our horns are over-stimulated...they tend to release a bit of pent up magic."

"And I'm guessing that feels good?"

Celestia nuzzles her head into your lap. "Very~..." she says in a sultry tone.

"Well. A little warning next time."

"You could do with that yourself, mister. I almost choked."

"I'm inexperienced. You have no excuse."

Celestia laughs but says nothing.

A bit of conversation can't hurt. "...Hey. LightBrite?"

"Hmmm?" Celestia coos.

"What's the most you've gone in a day?"

Celestia brings a hoof to her chin. "I remember once going twelve rounds before noon...that was probably a record."

You laugh.

"Princess, every guy I knew could do that. It's called 'being single in college'."

Celestia begins tracing a hoof on your thigh. "And can -you- do that?"

"No no...my endurance stems from pure concentrated ire."

Celestia looks up at you. "Ire?"

You fold your hands behind your head. "I just can't get off unless I hate the other person."

Celestia smiles. "Well then..." Celestia hops to her feet and makes her way to the bed. She climbs up and sticks her rear into the air. "I must be the best you've ever had."

You laugh.

"Not the biggest reference pool there, huh? Besides, no one can hate you Slutopatra."

Celestia makes a pouty face. "Awww...Scared the big bad Sun Princess will outlast you?"

Oh no she didn't.

"Is that a challenge?" you ask.

Celestia waves her ass in the air. "What if it is?"

You climb to your feet and hop on the bed.

"Well...if it were a challenge...there would have to be a prize..." you say as you stroke her marehood.

The mess she made before is starting to return. "Ooohhh...and what would that prize be?" Celestia says as she buries her face into her bed.

"A new game. First one to climax has to take it somewhere...else...next round."

Celestia turns her head to face you. "A contest against me? Daring..."

"That is not a no."

Celestia bumps her rear against you. She was ready to go. "No, I suppose it isn't."

You position yourself behind Celestia and slowly drive your member into her. You can feel the walls inside press and conform as they get used to you. Celestia releases a low moan as you thrust, you can squelch such outbursts.

"Ready, Sunshine?"

"Nnngggg...shut up, Mous."

Yes ma'am.

You begin thrusting slowly at first. Aiming to let Celestia grow accustomed to you. Celestia has other plans. She waits until you pull back and then slams herself back onto you. Hard.

You silently scream as Celestia turns her head to you. "We already went slow...why not speed things up a bit?"

She'll regret that. Maybe. You tell yourself.

You begin thrusting into Celestia at an increased pace.

Celestia moans and writhes as you continue before she clamps her muscles down tight around you.

You stop moving at the new sensation. "Oh no...Has the human met his match~?" Celestia gloats.

Oh. Now it's on.

You thrust into her a bit and lull her back into her comfort zone. It is then that you strike. Your hands lash out and grab both Celestia's horn and the small node where her wings meet.

It's Celestia's turn to stop moving and groan. But this sounds more pleasurable then yours.

You don't slow down, however, and continue to slide in and out of her with increasing speed. "That's-cheating-Mous!" she gasps out in rhythm with your thrusts.

Celestia picks that time to clamp herself down as hard as she can.

"Nnngg...That's...what you get...for having this many...erogenous zones...!" you grunt.

You are NOT losing this challenge. If not for your pride, then for your anal virginity.

Losing something once in a day is enough, thank you.

You go all out and begin thrusting into Celestia with wild abandon. You're able to tilt her wing back and fit the tip in between her teeth as your hand massages the other.

Your other hand is stroking and twisting Celestia's horn at high speed. When you look you can see some sparks popping out.

Celestia is moaning loud enough to raise the dead and you're going through anything you can to distract your brain.

FIRST I WHIP IT OUT.

THEN I THRUST IT.

WITH GREAT FORCE! Ow...

EVERY ANGLE...!

IT PENETRATES!

Celestia is practically screaming now. You think you hear your name but you can't tell.

UNTIL.

WITH GRE-AT STRENGHT!

I...

RAM IT IN!

Celestia's wings shoot out and her horn erupts into the Fourth of July.

You can feel her juices run over your member and down your leg.

Her moans fill the entire city and she squeezes you tight, causing you to fall over the edge yourself.

Your mind goes white as you spill your seed, you come back to yourself with a panting Celestia on the bed.

"In the end...we are all satisfied..." You walk on your knees and collapse next to Celestia. "And you are set free..."

You turn and look at Celestia. Disheveled mane, sweaty brow, and all. "Very...poetic..." she pants out.

You take a deep breath and compose yourself. "I like to bring the arts to as many things as I can."

You turn your gaze back to her. "Did I bring it to you?"

Celestia pushes herself off the bed. "I am certainly feeling inspired." she says.

She eyes your flaccid member. "Now...I believe that we had an accord? Somewhere..."else" as you put it?"

Whoa...

"You know I was joking...right? And even the-"

"Mous, I will not sit here and have my royal honor impugned upon."

She pulls herself up to you head. "And if you're worried about your endurance..."

Celestia locks her lips with yours and invades your mouth with her tongue again. You feel your heart rate increase and your member slowly start to rise. Celestia breaks away from you and looks down at your now erect manhood. "I wouldn't worry about it."

-Music-

Celestia positions herself above you.

"You're sure about this?"

"Are you backing out now, Mous?" she asks with a smile.

Your face contorts to one of annoyance and you swiftly lift your waist up and prod her at her back door. Celestia gasps before she adopts a large smirk. She then slowly begins to lower herself on you.

Okay...fuck! This...This is different...

You grip Celestia by her flank and let her set the pace here.

She gyrates herself on top of your member, letting it slide in and out. She has much better control of her muscles back here, and begins to toy with you as she grinds.

You try to stem the damage by reaching up and massaging her wings again, but it's slow going compared to what she's got.

"Mmmm...see Mous? See how much better this day turned out then you thought?" she asked as she bounced herself on top of you.

Mind reading abilities aside. You had to take control back if you wanted to go for a hat trick.

You were going to need leverage...

You reach your hands up and grab both Celestia's wings. You massage them until you feel her increase the pace, when you start to pull her back. Celestia is putting her heart into it and doesn't notice her body moving. It's not until you she loses balance and falls on top of you that you hear a yelp of surprise.

You ignore the pain of having a horse fall back on you as you snap one of Celestia's wings out with one hand and slide into her marehood with the other.

Now that you have leverage again, you take the pace for yourself.

"You-are-cheating-again!" Celestia shouts in a mirror to what happened before.

"Nope!" you shout as you thrust hard. "I'm winning again!"

Hey, if Celestia didn't want this to turn into a competition, she shouldn't have thrown down that challenge.

"You-You bastarahhh!" she cries as you continue your three-pronged ass-ault.

As Celestia bucks against your thrusts, you manage to get her ear into your mouth and add a forth prong. It's not long before you feel your fingers inside of her grow stickier in conjunction with her cries getting louder.

You feel her squeeze your hand as the muscle spasms of her orgasm travel through her body.

They eventually reach the ones gripping your member and causes them to squeeze hard enough to send you over the edge.

You shout in exertion as you pump your seed into the most coveted hole in the kingdom.

The moans and shouts calm down and the room falls into silence. Celestia falls off of you and slides you out of her with a soft "Oh~"

She curls up next to you as the two of you lay on the bed and rest after the days many events. You glance out the window and see that the sun is low in the sky, but just sort of hanging there.

"Don't you have some sort of thing to do now?"

Celestia silently raises from her bed and walks shakily to her balcony.

A flash of light later and the sun begins its decent over the horizon, letting Luna's moon take the stage. Celestia falls back into her bed with a smile and a contented sigh. She begins to twirl your hair around with her magic as she runs a hoof over you. "So...I told you that twelve was my record and we've gotten past round three...

She looks you in the eye as you turn to her. "Care to see how long it takes us to get the other nine?" she asks with a big smile.

It's morning now. You had barely slept.

The two of you had stopped when it was time for Celestia to raise the sun again. You lost count of what round you were on and of how much time had passed after Celestia announced you had broken her record.

"Such is the depths of my competitive edge and ire." you had said.

You were now riffling through the room looking for your things. "You're going to have to get this curtain rod replaced."

"Oh, who cares?" you hear Celestia call from the bed.

You throw your pants back on. "I'm sure your repairman cares. What kind of princess are you that doesn't care about her subjects?"

"The very content kind..."

You toss your shirt on and throw your bag and sweatshirt over it. Celestia looks up at you from the bed. "Do you have to go? You know I'll put you up to let you sleep a bit." she groans.

"First off, you sound like a teenager. Second, I can sleep on the train back. And third, we both know that neither of us would get a wink if I stayed here."

Celestia rises from her bed. "Still, I'm glad your time here wasn't as horrible as you thought."

"We should never not do this again." you snipe back.

Celestia walks you to her door. "And to think, you only wanted a three hour head start..."

"Would have saved me a ton of time." you say as you open the door.

"Ah. But think of how wasted that time would have been if you were anywhere else but here...

You had had a plan for your time before she got her magic on it...

The two of you stand in the doorway in silence.

"I really don't like you." you say.

Celestia chuckles and brings her lips to yours, you wrestle with her tongue for a minute before she releases you.

"I really don't like you too." she retorts.

Author's Note

And that, my lovelies, is how Flanking Maneuvers was born.

Flanking Maneuvers Episode 10: Couples Therapy [CLOP]

You kick the door open, not particularly giving a shit about how late it was or who may be sleeping.

"RAAAAAGH!"

You stomp all over the room, tossing clothes and pushing over furniture. You weren't exactly please as punch right now.

It had started simple enough, with Celly coming to tell you that you both had to make a surprise trip to Ponyville to...talk to Twilight she had said. Seeing Anon was great, as always. You and him caught dinner, skipped rocks at the pond, even saw the kids at the school.

Then you went back to Twilights...heard the news that changed everything and sent you on this tizzy.

Immortal. Unaging. Fated to never grow older than you were right now due to the very magics that had brought you to Equestria.

"GODDAMMIT!"

You paced back and forth around the bedroom, Celly standing in the doorway just watching silently.

"This isn't what I signed up for when I came here!"

"I know." Celestia says.

"Colorful ponies, fine! Dealing with you, whatever! Not aging is not fine!"

"I know."

"I don't even think my kind is BUILT to be alive that long!" You sweep a lamp off its end table and send it crashing to the ground.

"I know."

"And all because some STUPID PORTAL dragged me here in the first place!"

"I know."

She knows apparently.

You sit down on the floor and slump against the bed "You could say something else you know!"

Celestia doesn't speak, simply standing in the door.

"Fuck you!" you shout.

Celestia walks into the room and shuts the door. "But it's true, I know."

"Know what?" you growl.

Celestia walks over and sits herself down next to you. "What you're going through, your immortality."

You turn your head and meet her eyes as she keeps talking. "I know what it's like to one day find out that you have the rest of forever ahead of you, and I know how terrible a feeling it is to realize that many you love are going to die in front of you."

She nuzzles the side of your face. "So I'm letting you get it all out. You can yell and scream and let all your rage out to me and when you're done, you can plan where you want to go."

You sit and simmer for a minute as you think.

That...made alarmingly good sense...

You lean your head back and sigh, your first of many in the coming weeks if you were to have to guess. "So, is this level of suck normal for the amount of time that's passed?"

"It's different for everyone. I was raw for a few weeks, Luna a few months." Celestia says.

Another sigh at the thought of how long it would take for this feeling of unimaginable weight to pass.

"...Any tips?"

Celly is silent for a long time, her eyes closed in thought.

"Find something to live for." she says eventually.

"Huh?"

"Just...find a reason to wake up in the morning. If you can find a way to stay happy every day, you should do fine."

"Is that what you did?"

Celestia flashes a weary smile. "What do you think, dear?"

You think back to the reason why you called her a jizz sock this morning.

"Right...bad question..."

You and Celestia sit in silence for a bit, each contemplating what today's news meant. The marriage you two shared was...odd to say the least.

You were both "committed" in the sense that there was no way in hell you were letting her have the satisfaction of divorcing you while you were still alive. Hell, she probably knew that. Her plans might have been to just ride this out and then get back to her old habits.

"Guess this fucks everything up for you, huh?"

Celly cocks an eyebrow "Hmm?"

"I mean you just had to ride it out a hundred or so years and then you could go back to working your way through the entire male population of Equestria."

Celly knocks a hoof against the floor. "And so my master plan falls to shambles."

You lean back against the bed. "Heh. Sorry babe."

"Stuck with you for the rest of time." she moans.

"You might get lucky, I could fall off the roof."

"Choke on your food."

"Piss off your dad."

Both of you share a chuckle.

You sigh again. "Guess I better get started finding that something to live for..."

Celestia shrugs. "At least you have Anon."

Yeah, she was right there, at least you still had him.

For all the ridiculousness of this marriage, Celly got you pretty well...Celly was probably the ONLY one who totally got you...

There were things you didn't tell Anon, either they weren't his problem or you thought he'd worry, but Celly...You told her practically everything eventually...

You reach your arm over and stroke her mane. "Still..."

She looks over at you.

"...Could be worse people to be stuck with forever, I guess."

Celly chuckles and leans in closer to you. "Like who?"

"Your bloody sister, for one..."

Her chuckle becomes stronger as you both lean closer against one another. "I suppose I can tolerate not having sex with the guards until the ages catch up to you as they did me..."

You chuckle.

"Shouldn't have said that...now I'm never gonna turn into a pansexual addict, just to spite you."

"You're the worst husband ever..." she gasps as she rubs her face against yours.

"Better than a wife...who wants to brand-"

You don't get any further before your lips meet. Any foreplay with Celly had to be intense or else she'd complain, but this...

Your tongues fought bloody World War Two in each other's mouths, your hands sliding up and down her torso and back against her wings as slight moans escaped her body. There was...a hunger to things this time, a hunger that had been growing in you since you thought about how you could tell her anything.

You wanted more.

The urge to break and breath grows and grows but you ignore it. You wanted to stay here, locked together with the one person who knew exactly where you were coming from for as long as you could.

In time, your body betrays you though.

You cup Celly's face in your hands before pulling her away from your mouth and looking into her amaranthine eyes.

"Get on the bed."

You hop to your feet and get your shirt as Celestia complies. The telltale sound of magic comes from over your shoulder as you assume Celly takes off her jewelry.

You're almost onto your pants when you're grabbed in a magical aura and tossed onto the bed.

Celestia wraps her hooves around you and pulls your mouth back to hers, a contented chuckle escaping through her lips.

"Dammit. I was getting my pants off."

"Don't start something you're not prepared to see to, dear."

You straddle yourself over Celly's waist as you both continue your game of tonsil hockey. "I was GOING to see to it but your dammed excitability went and cocked all that up."

Celly doesn't go back to your mouth and instead concentrates on your hear. "Dear, please stop talking about things that are cocked up that aren't me."

You begin planting playful bites down her neck before you look up. Wrapped around Celly's horn was a simple golden ring.

"Take your wedding ring off."

Celly lets out an annoyed sigh. "You are impossible." she says as she absentmindedly levitates her ring onto an end table.

You remove your own wedding band and toss it on the table next to Celly's, using the time it takes to collect yourself.

You push Celly's wings down on the bed, slowly massaging the elbow joint in your palm. Celly rears her head back against the bed and moans before leaning forward again to kiss you.

A familiar magical sensation envelops your pants as they slide themselves down your legs on their own. Celestia tosses the clothes off to the side as you quickly pull down your boxers, the tip of your erect member quickly stroking your wife's marehood and sending a shiver up both your spines.

You get your head in and hold yourself up over a writing Celestia as you slowly push yourself inside her. You bend down and start kissing your wife again as she clamps down on you, no doubt from the wing massage.

"Dammit, I know your wings are sensitive, but come on." you get out between breaths.

"Just helping you any way I can dear, I know you need it." she coos.

You pick up your pace with both your hips and your hands as you plant kisses and play bites up and down Celly's neck.

As Celly moans and pants, you eye the prize you were after. Celestia's horn. Her most intense erogenous zone.

You keep your pace steady as you bend Celestia's neck forward and move up to the horn.

"What are yo-" Anything else she was going to say turned into an incomprehensible dribble as you started nibbling the tip of her horn.

"I- habe- doona-" she says as you glide your tongue over the ridges of the horn.

You had been paying attention to how Celly used her own tongue on you once she got your pants down, it was fun to turn the tables. The down side of this little stunt was that it made Celly clamp down on you, hard. You couldn't give up the pace or risk losing this whole thing, so you kept thrusting for all you were worth.

As the pleasure mounted on both your ends, you twisted and pressed the joints in Celly's wings, ruffling the feathers gently when you could.

You looked down and beheld a rather rare sight. The goddess-monarch of the kingdom of Equestria had her hooves pulled close to her chest, her mouth hung open in pants and sensual moans with her eyes snapped shut at what you were doing to her.

If you didn't know her better you'd say it was cute.

You worked her over a bit more before you could feel her squeezing you harder, signaling that she was as close to her limit as you were to yours. You bent down and planted your tongue at the base of Celly's horn before you slowly, sensuously, licked your way to the top.

Nothing that could be described as words came from Celly's mouth now, just sounds of not-even-barely contained pleasure as you brought yourself closer and closer to the tip.

"Hah! Darling!" Celly gasped as you got to the top and twirled your tongue around her horn tip before sending her over the edge with a final flick.

Celly clenched down around your member as she drenched the sheets and forced you to cum too.

Still panting, you took your hands off Celly's still twitching wings and lay yourself down over top of her, letting both of your juices mix as they flowed together.

"Hah...hah...been a while since we came together..." you gasp out.

Celly wrapped her wings around you and pulled you closers as she nibble on your ear. "Yes...forgotten how enjoyable it could be..."

You took in the one-of-a-kind scent of Celly's ethereal mane mixed with a hint of sweat as you both took a moment to regain your bearings.

Celly nuzzled up next to your ear again. "Dear?"

"Hmm?"

"Roll over."

You pull out of Celestia and flop over onto your back. Your wife rolls over as well and hops on top of you, looking like she was prepared to mount you.

Instead, Celly pressed her lips against your neck and began trialing kisses and nibbles down your body. She gets down to your flaccid member and mimics your slow lick up the shaft, sending electricity through your entire body.

Dammit, she always did this.

If there was one thing Celestia knew her way around, it was cocks. She licked and smacked against your manhood, bringing you further and further back to attention.

"Hah! Shit!..."

Celestia slid off your cock as it reached the apex of its assent, eye it hungrily.

The two of you enter into a stare down.

"Celly...no...don't you-!"

You don't get further because Celly snaps her mouth open and takes you all in with one gulp. You throw your head back in a silent scream as her tongue twists and slides over you.

"Cunting...HELL!...Celly! You!...Planning this!?"

A low "MmmmHMMMM~" comes from her lips and almost reduces you to blubbering fits before Celly pops you out of her mouth.

"You never let me down here any other time~" she coos.

"Because ya bit me last time!"

Celestia tilts her head and chuckles as she licks the side of your member. "Only a bit dear, play bites~"

You have a death grip on the sheets. "Still hurts."

"Ah, but the good kind."

You almost had another quip out before Celly opened her mouth and slid down your shaft again.

You gasp and grunt as Celly slides her way down your length. Dammit, she always did this, pushing you after the first round.

You don't know, you don't know how she did it, but no matter how little time it had been since you finished Celly was able to pull some stupid trick with her tongue or lips and bring you right back up again.

"Hah! yo- You are just-t the biggEST b-BITCH!"

Celly releases a chuckle you feel more than hear as you put your hand on her forehead.

You hold her pastel mane back as her head bobs up and down in your lap.

She opens her eyes and locks them with yours, staring into your brain as she twists her tongue round.

You're taken aback for a moment at the intensity of the gaze. Were her eyes always that magenta? Did they always glow in the dark just a bit?

The momentary distraction was all you needed to lose your cool.

You soon found yourself unable to hold against Celestia's oral assault as she twisted and turned herself. She slid you out of her mouth and settled over you, her tongue slipping out as it began tracing a circle around the head of your member.

"Hmm hmm~. Getting close dear?" she chuckled.

Your breath was coming in pants as you collected yourself and tried to ignore the sensation of Celly's tongue.

"C-c'mon? That lightweight crap? Wha are ya - tryin'a make me l-laugh?"

Celly chuckles. "You asked for it dear~."

Celestia slowly leans down and wraps her tongue around your member...

...And then presses her lips against you as tight as she can and begins bobbing and a mind boggling pace.

She follows you as you arch your back up and fall back onto the bed, placing a hoof against you to stop you from moving as she sucks for all she's worth and her tongue twists into a new location every instant.

You recite the oath that helps you in times like this.

First I whip I-it's impossible to get any further when Celestia takes you down to your base, the tip of your cock pressing against the back of your throat.

You grip her head with both hands as she clenches her throat and pushes you past breaking. Celly moans as your orgasm rides out in her mouth, your body relaxing as it does.

You go limp on the bed as Celly removes you from her mouth one final time and licks her teeth.

"Delicious."

"Go to hell." you gasp out.

Celestia grins a smug grin and crawls up to lay down next to you on the bed.

"Don't pout dear, all's fair in love, war, and sex." she coos.

Your breathing came in gasps and your heart was beating out of its chest but there was only one thing you could think right now.

"Fair"? You'd show her fair.

You spend the next few minutes collecting yourself, using every ounce of willpower you had to get back up while Celly silently breathed next to you.

Once you were ready, you struck hard and fast.

You turned over and flipped Celestia onto her side, ignoring the yelp of surprise before guiding your member inside of her. Celestia grunted as you push into the road less traveled, but relaxed soon enough

You started a hard, steady pace as Celly grew more used to the circumstances. She moaned and gasped as you slipped a hand between her legs and started rubbing her clit between your fingers. With your free hand, you grab the hair behind Celestia's head and give it a firm tug as you continue to thrust into her. Celly was doing more than just pant and groan, she contracted her muscles around you in rhythm with your thrusts.

You walled off your mind and forced yourself to concentrate only on outlasting her. You may be married but the bedroom was still a battleground.

You close your eyes and start scratch your wife behind her ears, she always liked to be scratched there. The world recedes as you concentrate once again only on outdoing your wife. At least it does until you feel something warm washing over your face.

You crack open an eye to see a face full of Celly mouth dominating your vision as she panted and moaned in your face.

If she thinks that's going to break your concentration sh-

Why are you opening your mouth? Why are you pulling hers closer? You are you kissing while you're all the way up her ass?

Okay...this was...Surreal.

Kissing Celestia was always a physical thing, or something you did to keep up appearances when citizens started asking why the ruling couple argued like schoolchildren all the time.

But...tonight was a night for new experiences it seemed. As with the kiss before there was a...longing to keep going in this one.

There was nowhere you would rather be in the world than right here, right now. And that was absolutely baffling to you.

Here you were, balls deep in someone you've argued and fought with since you got here and all you can think about is how much you enjoy kissing her. And on the other side of things, she was an immortal god-horse who had less than an hour ago told you how she wanted to have sex with all of her guards and she was showing you actual sympathy before this started.

But...you didn't care. This was more important than anything else right now.

Fucking hell, when did you turn into such a pussy?

Celly brakes away from your mouth and gasps as her marehood contracts down on your fingers and floods them in a sticky mess.

Her muscle spasms reached her ass and gripped you as tight as they could. Your competitive spirit satiated, you didn't fight the feeling as your mind went white.

You came back to yourself next to a panting Celly. Her mane was a disheveled mess and she was fairly sweaty, but the pleased grin on her face says everything that mattered. You pull out of her and crawl up next to her head before collapsing on the mattress.

"I can't believe you made me work after the news I heard today." you pant out.

"I tried to make you feel good but it was your pigheadedness that landed you here."

You groan and roll onto your side, Celly turning her head to meet you. "You'd have held it over me."

Celly sighs contentedly. "Have I at least improved your day, dear?"

You sigh and think. You were feeling better at least, probably something to do with the sex. The next however many years...didn't seem as long and arduous now. And Celly, in her weird and nymphomaniacal way, had made that happen.

"I'd say I'm better, that distraction's working wonders on my brain."

Celly throws a wing over you. "And I'm sure that's not the only thing.~"

You roll your eyes and turn your head. The moonlight was catching Celly's lidded eyes in that way it always did. You really liked it when they were like that.

You chuckle.

"So now we've condemned Canterlot to an eternity of us bickering."

Celly shared your laugh. "I'm sure they'll adapt."

You and Celly lay there for a while, not breaking from the other's gaze.

"I really don't like you."

Celestia leans forward and presses her lips against yours. You brace for the tongue to invade your mouth but...it doesn't come. Celestia holds the soft, tender kiss for a few seconds before pulling away and giving one of the warmest smiles you've ever seen from her.

"I really don't like you too."