The Equestrian Legal System
Twilight turned to the guard as the sobering spell took hold. "I... You're right, I did commit a crime. I'll come quietly, and we can discuss my punishment at the guard station."
The guard was clearly expecting a different response. Perhaps "there's been a mistake" or "I haven't done anything wrong," or even just a stream of expletives. But this? This quiet acceptance? It unnerved him. Was it merely a sham, indicative of a last-minute attempt at escape? Perhaps this pony was some kind of assassin, using the arrest as a way of getting past the castle gate. To be honest, he would have preferred to have had at least some protest from the mare, and from the expression on his partner's face, he felt the same way. Something about her just seemed... familiar, and he couldn't shake the feeling.
The walk to the guard post was silent. There was no attempt at escape, just a quiet aura of resignation. Nothing. This mare, she was honest, it seemed. Perhaps that would work in her favor during the hearing- if she tried to appeal at all. He shuddered at the thought that she might not even try. What was wrong with this pony? Was she such a stickler for the rules that she would follow them to her own detriment? In all his years, he'd never seen such a thing.
At the station, everything seemed to be in order, until it came time to fill out the paperwork. One guard sat the mare down at a table, while another brought over the paperwork.
"Okay, name?"
"Twilight Sparkle."
"Place of residence?"
"I live in the libra-"
"Wait, you're Twilight Sparkle?! The personal student to Princess Celestia herself? Why didn't you say so before? We could have cleared up this misunderstanding in no time! Of course, the Princess' favor has limits, but this is trivial, this-"
"No."
"What?"
"I said no. I committed the crime. The law states, 'any pony', not 'any pony not favored by the princess' or 'any pony who isn't rich or famous'."
"But you saved Eque-"
"It doesn't matter what I saved. I've committed a crime, and I must therefore accept my punishment. I can't believe you're even arguing with me about this."
There was hurried whispering among the guards. "I don't get it." "She wants to be punished?" "I'm not sure." "Is this even in the guidebook?" "Let's ask Shining Armor!"
At this point, Twilight felt it prudent to contribute. "Excuse me, but Shining Armor is my older brother, so wouldn't that be a conflict of inter-"
"Guard Captain Shining Armor is your brother? Why didn't you say so before? We could have cleared up this misunderstanding in no time! The sister of the guard captain-"
"Is not immune from the law," Twilight interrupted, finally seeing an opening. "You will complete this paperwork, or he will hear about this. I know the law, and I broke it, and I will serve my punishment like anypony else!"
One of the guards muttered, "He'll hear about it anyway when he gets the paperwork."
As he moved to comply with the strange unicorn's request, another added under his breath, "Yeah, we're so dead." Quickly filling out the rest of the paperwork without further comment, he filed one copy, put another in a message tube for Shining Armor, and gave a third to Twilight.
"Since you insist on having the hearing, this has the time and place you need to come back on it. Normally we'd put you in a cell until then, but since, uhh, since you've been so honest and forthright with us, you're free to..." The guard trailed off as Twilight walked over to one of the five empty cells in the guard station and sat in it.
"Umm, I guess that works too." Looks were exchanged, and the guards went about their business.
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Time passed. Twilight sat, motionless, waiting. She'd had practice at it, after all. As Celestia's student, she'd sat though more than one session of the royal court, which required nigh-infinite patience and the ability to sit without moving. It had become ingrained in her not to fidget, not to move, during those long hours, and so she did not do so now.
"You know, the door's open. You can leave whenever you like..."
She didn't move.
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"Excuse me, Twilight Sparkle? It's time to go now. Your hearing is in a few minutes. Please come with me."
Twilight got up and followed the guard. Why did they all look exactly the same? She wasn't sure.
When she reached the hall in which her hearing was to take place, Twilight smiled. She was going to be a part of Equestria's legal system! Sure, she was on trial for having committed a crime, but it was still exciting.
The judge looked bored. "Next." The judge sounded bored.
"Your Honor, this is Twilight Sparkle. She stands accused of-"
"Twilight Sparkle?" For the first time, the judge actually looked at her, then chuckled. "Very funny. Who is it really?"
"Your Honor, this mare actually is Twilight Sparkle. She's-"
"And you arrested her? Are you crazy?" The judge's angry voice echoed in the room, before she lowered her tone and addressed Twilight herself.. "Miss Sparkle, you can go. I'm sorry about all this."
Twilight looked dumbfounded. "No," she said flatly, "this isn't right. I insist on going through the system properly, not this... whatever this is."
One of the guards spoke up to the judge. "Your Honor, she's insisted on all of this, and she seems pretty determined. I don't think we can talk her out of this, and if she doesn't want to leave the courtroom, I don't think we can successfully force the issue."
The judge looked irritated. "Twilight Sparkle, leave this courtroom now, or I'll charge you with contempt of... oh dear. Then we'd have to arrest you for that, wouldn't we? It seems you'll get your hearing, one way or another." She turned to address the guard. "What are the charges?"
"Your Honor, Twilight Sparkle stands accused of casting while intoxicated and casting adept-level magic without a proper permit within the city limits. There is also a minor charge for civilian endangerment, which comes along with any magical charges not related to permits."
"Hmm. All three, misdemeanors. There's no prison time for any of those, so it's community service. You live in Ponyville, right, Miss Sparkle?"
"Yes, your Honor, I live in the-"
"Thank you, that will be all. Since you seem to have an interest in keeping things in order, your punishment will be thirty hours of community service working in the Ponyville Public Library. Report to the pony in charge there no later than next Tuesday. You are dismissed."
"Your Honor, there's a-"
"You are dismissed, Miss Sparkle. You have received your punishment, now leave us in peace."
"Come along now, Twilight Sparkle, let's go." The guard was adamant, and she found herself outside the doors to the court before she realized what had happened.
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This... this "punishment" she had received, it just didn't feel right. It was no punishment at all, to be forced to do a thing she did already. There must be somepony who could help her. She had committed the crime, and nopony would do anything about it.
Perhaps Celestia could help her.
Going to a shop, she bought a cheap cloak so she wouldn't be recognized, then donned it and got in line to see the Princess of Equestria in open court.
The guard manning the line did ask her name, so her disguise must have been effective. However, she quickly ruined her cover, automatically responding, "Twilight Sparkle."
The guard gave her a look. "Is this some kind of a joke?"
"No, sir."
"Very well, Twilight Sparkle. Move along."
She stood in that line for over an hour, waiting for an audience. Finally, she was before the princess, her heart pounding in her chest.
"Princess Celestia," she bowed. Before she could go on, however, Celestia spoke.
"My most faithful student Twilight Sparkle, long has it been since you have come to me thus. You know you don't have to wait in line to see me, right? Just send a letter and I'll come visit. But now that you're here, what's the problem?"
Twilight took a deep breath and began. "There's a pony who broke the law, but the guard didn't want to punish her. Since she insisted, they did anyway, but the punishment that they gave her didn't mean anything, and so it didn't make a difference. And that pony still seeks to right the wrong that has been done, but there doesn't seem to be a way."
Celestia thought for a moment before she spoke again. "It seems this pony genuinely regrets what she did. I don't think such a pony really needs to be punished, because punishment is to teach a pony not to commit the crime again, and that lesson has been learned. But I'm not sure the pony is ready to accept that. Are you, Twilight?"
"You don't want to punish me either? There must be something I can do! Is there anything else I can do for you, Princess?"
"Well, there is room in my court for a new princess. It's an honorary title, mostly, but there are a few perks someone like you could make use of..."
Author's Note
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
Okay, maybe not so much.
But I should be.
