My Little Pony: Shipping Is Magic

My Little Pony: Shipping Is Magic

Chapter The First

It was quite a peaceful day in Ponyville. Shining Armor and Cadence have recently gotten married and they have gone to Fillydelphia for their honeymoon. Twilight Sparkle was calmly cleaning up her library of a house, because they were coming to visit in about two weeks. Okay, actually, she was freaking out. Due to a recent accident involving Pinkie Pie, a rubber duck, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the library is now a nest for a pack of sleeping phoenixes.

“Where in the hay did these phoenixes come from?” Twilight Sparkle thought to herself while she swept the floor with her magic.

Spike was asleep in his small bed, dreaming about Rarity. Guess what? Spike has a crush on Rarity. I know! I didn’t believe it either! But, not only is it true, it’s canon. I know, right?! Amazing, what these writers come up with.

Well, Twilight Sparkle decided that she was sick of Spike sleeping, so she woke him up.

“Aughh! Twilight, I was having a great dream about Rar-”

Twilight Sparkle stared at him. “About what, Spike?”

“A-about… um…” Spike stammered. “About a raving party Pinkie Pie threw!”

“You were talking in your sleep. You mentioned something about Rarity giving you a sapphire gem.”

“Well, that was part of the party, I guess.”

“Then you started to drool. Never mind. I need your help getting these phoenixes out of here!”

“There were phoenixes in here?”

“Yes! Where were you for the past three days?! They’ve been in here since Saturday!”

“Oh, yeah! So, what’s your plan today, and how is it going to fail?”

“Ha-ha. It’s not going to fail, Spike. I know that I can solve this problem!”

“Uh huh.”

Twilight Sparkle came up with an elaborate plan involving a muffin, Fluttershy, a lampshade, and the Sundance Film Festival. It worked… somehow, and the phoenixes have nested safely in the Everfree Forest.

“So, did this plan fail, Spike?”

“No~”

“I know, right? I told you I could do it.”

Suddenly, a flash of rainbow and cloud had filled Twilight’s eyes. Once Twilight was able to open them up, she saw a huge grin on Rainbow Dash’s face. Twilight was not as excited, mainly because she felt a large pain in her head.

“Sorry, Twilight.”

“Rainbow! What in the hay are you doing?!”

“Oh, well, Berry Punch is selling some delicious fruit punch!”

Now, Twilight Sparkle knew of Berry Punch and her infamous fruit punch. Just three months earlier, her punch had caused several ponies to drunkenly dial the Royal Guard as a prank to see how Princess Celestia would react to multiple ‘emergencies’ (such as a dragon attack, parasprites, or Discord) happening at the same time. Princess Celestia did not do shit, except she banned the use of ‘bad idea elixir’.

“Well, no. Sorry, Rainbow, but I have to, um, go help Apple Jack with something.”

“Oh, well, it’s okay. I might see other ponies there. See you later!”

Rainbow Dash flew off in blinding speed.

Twilight Sparkle trotted along at a reasonable pace. She arrived at a reasonable time, reasonable because she arrived ten minutes early.

“Apple Jack! I’m here to help you!”

She did not see Apple Jack around, but she saw Big MacIntosh standing there. Strangely, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Miss Cheerilee were hanging around him.

“Hey, everypony, what are you all doing?”

Cheerilee raced in front of Twilight.

“Twilight! What are you thinking right now?”

“Umm… that you’re being creepy. What’s going on, Miss Cheerilee?”

Miss Cheerilee ignored Twilight’s question. She went on to say, “Good. You’re not infected. Come on in.”

She shoved Twilight into a barn.

“Hey, where’s Apple Jack?”

Miss Cheerilee breathed a heavy sigh. “She’s been infected. It’s been hard on Big Mac.”

“Infected?” Twilight Sparkle was confused.

“There’s been a strange outbreak of Love Poison.”

“Love Poison?”

Cheerilee began to explain.

“Love Poison is a chemical similar to Love Potion in that it makes a pony fall in love with the first person you see.”

“Oh, I think I read about that.”

“Except it makes you so entranced by the other pony that you ignore everything else. Love Poison has been known to destroy entire kingdoms and empires.”

“So, it’s bad?”

“Yes. It’s really bad. The real experts on this are Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, because they used it before.”

“Really? On who?”

“Me.”

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom smiled awkwardly and let out a small chuckle.

Twilight resumed the conversation. “Okay, so what is this love poison?”

Sweetie Belle answered, “It’s the colour of a rainbow and a tuft of cloud stirred with a pegasus feather.”

“So it has to be synthesized by somepony. It’s very likely that we’re searching for a pegasus.”

Big MacIntosh shook his head. “E-nope.”

“What do you mean, Big Mac?”

Cheerilee answered that one. “Anypony can have access to a pegasus feather.”

Twilight Sparkle reasoned that this was true, but this meant that they had no leads to go on. It could be anypony that was love poisoning the populace.

“Okay everypony, I’m going to get all of the Elements of Harmony together. You say Apple Jack has been infected?”

“E-yup.”

“What about the others?”

Cheerilee answered, “We don’t know if they were infected or not.”

“Alright! I’m going to gather them all up, so we can stop this madness once and for all!”

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom cheered for Twilight Sparkle.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” stated Twilight. “Where’s Scootaloo? I think it’s rather weird that she’s not here.”

Applebloom looked rather sad. “Ma’am, she got infected.”

Twilight Sparkle thought this to be ironic and left without another word. She arrived at Fluttershy’s house first. She knocked calmly at her door.

“No! Go away! I’m not interested!” was the response.

“Fluttershy? It’s me… Twilight.”

After about five minutes of fumbling around locks and an array of cartoonish noises, Fluttershy finally opened the door and let Twilight in.

“Why did you put all those locks on the door?”

Fluttershy spoke in a soft and timid voice. “Well, Twilight, Rainbow Dash has been acting rather weird lately…”

“Yeah yeah whatever. Listen, Fluttershy, have you ever heard of Love Poison?”

“Well, I think that what I wanted to say is…”

“There’s been an outbreak of Love Poison in Ponyville.”

“I think this has…”

“And I need your help. I believe that the Elements of Harmony can cure this town.”

“You’re not listening to me!”

“Wait your turn, Fluttershy. Okay, I’m done. Now what were you going to say?”

Fluttershy attempted to speak once more, but a sudden flash of rainbow rammed straight into her.

Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy with a look of betrayal. “Nice, Fluttershy. Can you not ditch me back there? I was all alone with Rarity!”

“Well, Dashie, I’m sorry.”

“Ohh. I can’t stay mad at you. After all, you are my very special somepony.”

Twilight, at first, looked thoroughly confused, but she figured that Rainbow Dash was infected with Love Poison.

“Fluttershy, we need to escape from here.” Twilight whispered.

“But… but we can’t escape from Rainbow Dash. She’s Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow Dash wanted to be a part of this conversation. “She’s right. In fact, she’s always right. Nothing can escape my love for you.”

Twilight could not believe that she was hearing this from Rainbow Dash. However, she reminded herself that it was not Rainbow Dash, but that the Love Poison was controlling her.

Twilight Sparkle used a teleportation spell on herself and Fluttershy. Unfortunately, she did not control where they went, and they ended up in the Everfree Forest. Fluttershy was shivering.

“Um… Twilight? Do you think you can teleport us out of here?”

“No. I’m completely drained. We have to walk out of here ourselves. Come on. I can see Canterlot in the distance. If we just go over in that direction, we’ll make it to Ponyville.”

“Umm… okay, then. As long as we can make it there quick.”

As Fluttershy and Twilight continued their quest to find Ponyville, they were suddenly hit by a rather horrid smell. A large growling noise seemed to follow them.

Fluttershy shrieked.

“Fluttershy, there’s nothing to be afraid of. See? Sweet Apple Acres is just right ahead. It won’t be long before we get there.”

Suddenly, a Timber Wolf appeared.

Actually, that’s a lie. It’s a pack of Timber Wolves. Seven, to be precise. Also, they were all huge and scary.

Fluttershy screamed.

“Okay, Fluttershy, we can take these Timber Wolves! Come on!”

Twilight was not about to back down from this fight. She knew exactly what to do. She would distract them with a ball that Pinkie Pie kept in strange hiding places throughout Equestria.

However, before Twilight Sparkle could execute her ingenious plan, a flash of white light suddenly broke the Timber Wolves apart.

Suddenly, Rarity jumped from above a tree. She looked up as the smoke began to clear.

Fluttershy seemed rather worried. “Umm… maybe we should get out of here now?”

“Nonsense, Fluttershy, we can’t just leave Rarity here. Besides, she just saved our lives.”

Rarity, however, completely ignored Twilight Sparkle, and went straight to Fluttershy.

“My love, what are you doing out here in the Everfree Forest?”

Twilight sighed. “Rarity, too? In the name of Celestia…”

“It’s so good to know that you have given up on Rainbow Dash, darling. I know how much she can get in our way.”

“Well, I’m not really interested…”

“What are you talking about? You obviously left Rainbow Dash. That means that I’m the only logical choice left. You haven’t fallen for Apple Jack, have you?”

“Of course not. I~”

It was at that moment that Rarity first noticed Twilight was there.

“A-ha! It was you!”

Rarity charged at Twilight Sparkle as if she were going on a rampage against somepony who insulted her hair.

“I will destroy you for stealing my Fluttershy away from me!”

“I didn’t ‘steal’ Fluttershy!”

That did not deter Rarity. She continued to charge against Twilight Sparkle. Twilight did not want to attack Rarity, because they were friends. However, Rarity had every intention of maiming Twilight Sparkle.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!” shrieked Fluttershy.

Rarity paused right before she did any serious damage to Twilight.

“Rarity, I’m flattered. But… I’m just not interested in anypony right now. And, no, I’m not in any relationship. I’m sorry.”

Rarity thought about this for a moment.

“Well… that means I still have a chance! Victory for Miss Rarity!”

It was at this moment that Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy made their escape. They galloped over to Sweet Apple Acres, and they made it into the barn. However, it was rather dark. Something was not right. Twilight meekly called out.

“Cheerilee…? Are you there?”

Nopony answered.

“Big Mac? Sweetie Belle? Applebloom?”

Still, nopony answered.

It was at this moment that Twilight wanted somepony to actually talk back with her. So, she mumbled the words: “Fluttershy…?”

No answer came. Fluttershy flew away in fear before Twilight entered the barn. She was all alone.

Suddenly, a loud crash shattered the perpetual silence.

“What? Who’s there?!”

A low-level light slowly came on. It was as if it was meant for a romantic atmosphere.

“Howdy, who goes there?”

“It’s me, Twilight.”

Apple Jack looked down from a pile of hay. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Apple Jack? What is all this?”

“This? Oh, this will be for my one true love Rarity. After drinking that punch, I saw Rarity, and BAM! I fell head over hooves for her.”

Twilight Sparkle had forgotten that Apple Jack was infected with Love Poison. The only pony left was Pinkie Pie. This was bad. Half of her friends were infected. Was there even a cure? What are they going to do? So many questions filled her head.

“Well, are you just going to stand there?”

“Well… um…”

“Cause, I’ve gotta get my body ready for Rarity.”

Twilight Sparkle attempted to cleanse her brain and unhear what she has heard.

“Okay, fine. I’m leaving. I have to go see Pinkie Pie.”

Twilight Sparkle left Sweet Apple Acres. Now that the farm has been taken over for the sole purpose of Apple Jack’s love nest, where did the others run off to? She figured that perhaps she would go to Pinkie Pie, and hope to Celestia that she’s not infected.