Metro 2033: A Stalker's Tale

by Hurgusburgus

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other
Length: 26644

Alyona is a Stalker - she risks her life frequently in search of loot in Moscow, or the Dead City, as some call it. After finding a mortally-wounded friend in Dry Station, they stick together until an anomaly whisks them from the Metro to Equestria.

!!!This story has spoilers regarding both Metro 2033 and Metro: Last Light. Read at your own discretion!!!

Stay still.

That's what you do when an anomaly approaches you. You stay completely still and it won't touch you and float away.
So what do you do when a drunken asshole completely disregards your warning?

Published 2013-02-25 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-25 01:05:48 UTC

Chapter 1

I bit down on the two fingers in my mouth and the bandit screamed, recoiling. I scrabbled away, finding my revolver and snapped off two quick shots at my opponent. The man howled in pain and collapsed. He was the last one. I squinted in the dark and found my AK. Once more at ease with the weapon, I kept going for my target – Bourbon. Stupid man – Dry was no longer a safe haven for him. I hastily recollected my belongings, swapping my old Duplet for a scruffy, but well-kept Uboinik and resumed my advance. I’d been tailing Bourbon for a while now, both undergound and on the Surface, always a step or two behind him and the kid he was travelling with. What was he playing at?

But this was no time to think about things like that. I ran up to the door, hearing a short burst of fire on the other side and I flattened my self against the steel door, trying to listen in. I could barely hear anything. After a couple of minutes, everything fell silent and I tried my luck with the door handle. Of course, it was locked. Well, time to resort to extreme measures. I pulled out a grenade out of my rucksack, wedging it alonge one of the hinges and lit the fuse. Quickly, I scrabbled away, taking cover behind a pillar.

*thooom*

Cautiously, I emerged in the clear, coughing a bit as the dust settled down. The door had moved some, hanging ajar in the aisle and I wasted no time prying it open. Well, I tried to.
“Come on, suka! Open the fuck up!” Of course, it obliged at the worst moment and it nearly fell on top of me as I tumbled backwards.
“Blyin!” I coughed, nose full of dust. Okay, no time to screw around. Need to find Bourbon. I rushed forward, but ground to a halt when I saw what had taken place here. Bourbon was on the floor, lying face-down in a puddle of blood. The bandit leader was also dead, a ragged gunshot wound in his neck.
“Ah, shit, Bourbon… Not like this wasn’t bound to happen someday.” I knelt down, whispering sadly. My AK clattered on the floor as I went to check him for pulse. Just as I touched him, he stirred weakly, groaning in pain.
“Fuuuuck…”
“Bourbon! Shit, stay still! I need to find the wound.”
“Wait, who…? Alyona?”
“The one and only.” I grinned, relieved he was still lucid.
“What are you doing here? I thought I left you at Riga Station.” He coughed weakly.
“Stay still, you asshole. Let me patch you up. I won’t be able to get the bullet out of your guts, but at least you won’t bleed out any more.” I checked by breast pocket and pulled out a small brown box. Flipping it open, I pulled out one syringe and stuck it in Bourbon’s wrist. The mix of drugs in it would stabilize his heartbeat and boost his blood coagulation, along with some antibiotics to keep him clear of infections. At least he won’t be bleeding out no more.
“Ooha! That tickled!” He groaned, sitting up giddily. I helped him up, handing him the bandit’s AK.
“So, what now?”
“I left my backpack in a nearby vent. We should get it.”
“So we’re sticking together now?”
“I see no other choice. If you help me to get to one of the stations to a doctor, I’ll owe you a favour, I’d say. You did just save my life.”
“My, the mighty Bourbon thanks me for saving him? I thought I’d never live to see the day.” I grinned and he scowled.
“Ha ha, very funny. Now cut the bullshit and let’s get going.” He snapped back and immediately winced in pain.

I rechecked the wristwatch I always made sure to have on me as we slowly made our way through the old tunnel. Bourbon was humming quietly.
“So, Bourbon, old friend… what were you doing out here?”
“I needed to get to Dry. What were you following me for?”
“I had to warn you. Your old butt buddy got offed. The bastard who shot you really had it in for you.”
“Ah. I know that. Figured it out too late, though. So you were out to warn me?”
“Yeah. Caught up to you too late. So who was that boy who was with you?”
“A kid I met at Riga. Artyom. I needed to get to Dry and he needed to get to Polis. Hell if I know why. So we stuck together. He really knows how to handle himself. Hope he’s okay.”
“So you were to part ways at Dry?”
“Pretty much, yeah.” We kept walking slowly, seeing as Bourbon still winced with every step he took, firing off a subdued curse every time.

“Okay, Alyona, I need to take a break. Just a couple of minutes.”
“No worries. I could use a snack, too.” He sighed relievedly as we took refuge near a slab of concrete and I unpacked some of my food. Bourbon provided the vodka. Pretty soon, we were singing, though we tried to keep quiet in an effort to not draw any attention to us. When does that sort of idea go as planned?

“Shit! Bourbon! Sit still or you’re going to get fucking fried to a crisp.” The somewhat drunk smuggler burped.
“Wha-?”
“Fucking stay still!” I hissed through clenched teeth, eyeing the bright orb of energy leisurely floating down towards us. An anomaly. Cold, clammy sweat covered me as I tried not to make any sudden moves. The trick was not to move or it’ll fry you dead. The first time when I saw an anomaly was when I first met Bourbon, coincidentally. I’m a Stalker. I go to Surface frequently in search for loot to sell. Long story short, I had my leg trapped in a rockslide and there was a bunch of snouts clambering towards me. My Bastard was out of my reach. Then one of those anomalies showed up and fried the mutated bastards. A while later, Bourbon showed up and freed me. Said he’d followed the noises. Nevertheless, he took me under his wing, teaching me how to survive in the Metro and on the Surface. I repaid him by keeping an eye out for him occasionally, helping out with his ever-present debts.

But I’m getting off-track. We sat without making a noise there. The anomaly would pass by us without a problem unless something happened.

Something happened.
*braaaaap*
My head swivelled towards the culprit.
“Bourbon, you pidar-“ That was all I got out before everything dissolved into light.

Sukin ti sin!

Ow. What the fuck did I do last night? Think, Alyona, think…
Someone groaned in pain.
“Oh, fuck… I think my gut’s busted real bad, Alyonushka.”
That cleared my head some. Though still groggy, I managed to pull myself up and crawl over to Bourbon who was lying limply on the ground.
“I think my wound’s open again.”
“B-be thankful for that. I’d kick your ass otherwise. The fuck were you thinking, you mudak? Can’t stay quiet for a moment, can you?”
“Don’t blame me, blame the vodka! Wait! Don’t blame vodka, blame me! Wait-“
“Oh, shut up, you ass!” I snapped, pulling out my medkit again and jabbed him with my last syringe. Rummaging through my backpack, I pulled out a length slightly filthy bandages that I always carried with me. I threw off my jacket and sweater, and sliced away a part of my shirt with my knife.
“O-o-o-o-o-o-oh!”
“Stop staring at my tits, idiot!”
“What? You have a nice rack!”
“Shut your gob or so help me I’ll blow your head off!” I growled, folding up the relatively-clean strip of fabric and pulled Bourbon’s jacket up. I cringed a bit as I saw the mess of blood on his stomach.
“Fuck… Okay, man, this is going to hurt a bit. I’d cauterize the wound but it’d take too long to build a fire.”
“Oh, just do it already. I can take the pain” He gritted his teeth, waiting. I firmly pressed the rolled-up wad against the bullet hole and wrapped the bandages around his midsection to keep it in place, trying not to screw around be done with it as quickly as possible. Throughout the whole ordeal, Bourbon didn’t make a single noise. I had to give it to him, he was tough. Once I’d finished, he nodded gruffly, tidying up his clothes as I finally decided to give a look around the place. From what I could gather, we were in a forest. Wherever we were, the air wasn’t poisonous, too. That or we both were dead or dying and hallucinating terribly. Bourbon, being the eternal pessimist would go with the latter. Me, I occasionally at least tried to look for the light at the end of a tunnel. Usually said light was a couple of mudaks in a railcar. So…

My train of thoughts was interrupted as something rustled to my side.
“Shit!” I reached for my AK, but then realised it was still back with Bourbon. So, revolver it was, then.
“Alyona, find something?”
“Shut the fuck up, man!” I fired back at him. He shrugged non-comittally, letting me wander a bit further. The fuck was that thing? I spied a flash of yellow and… pink? No, seriously, the fuck was that? No matter. There were more pressing things to be done with. Cautiously, I went back to Bourbon and collected my belongings and on we went. Where to?

No fucking idea.

Twilight Sparkle was a smart pony. She had a very extensive collention of books and tomes that always helped to solve any problem that arose. So it was a source of endless frustration that she could find no references regarding these ‘Bourbon’ and ‘Alyona’, as Fluttershy had diligently explained to her, giving detailed descriptions of the two strange beings.
“Bourbon seemed to be injured, right?”
“Yes. He said something about a wound. Alyona tended to it, I guess, but I’d say it still isn’t healed.”
“Did they seem friendly to you?”
“Well, not really. They were cursing a lot and threatening each other. But I didn’t stick around any longer than that.” Twilight frowned, deep in thought.
“I don’t know what we should do with so little information to work with. I’d better write a letter to the Princess. She always knows what to do. I’m sure she’ll be able to sort this out.”

Chapter 2

“Bourbon!” I shouted angrily, bringing my AK to bear on the strange animal.
“Eh?”
“Remind me to kick you in the balls once this is over!” A burst of fire shattered the wooden beast’s face and I turned to face the next one, but Bourbon blew its leg off with his revolver. Well, it was my revolver. He simply was borrowing it for the time being, seeing as he wasn’t well enough to stand in his legs with an AK in hands.
“Fuck these things and fuck this place, wherever the fuck we are!” He shouted angrily, leaning against a tree.
I was inclined to agree with him. I mean, wolves made from trees? Never before I had heard anything of the sort in the Metro or on the Surface. My AK ran dry and I handed it over to Bourbon to reload, picking up my Uboinik. Six shots later, a collection of the whimpering wooden bastards lay across the ground. Bourbon tossed my AK towards me and I caught it, reassured by its weight. I walked around, finishing the beasts with single shots to head.

Fluttershy flinched with every howl she heard, the strange bangs that she could not recognize. She could not even fathom what was happening in the forest and she hurried back inside her house, locking it shut. Her night was an affair of jolting awake constantly, depriving her of sleep.

“We should get out of this damn forest, Alyona.”
“No shit.” I muttered, pausing to grip him tighter as he leaned on my shoulder. We’d been staying in the forest for about four days. Bourbon’s condition was rapidly deteriotating, much to my chagrin. I had no medical supplies left. Food and water was nearly gone, too, and I didn’t fancy trying locally availably foodstuffs. The chance that it all was irradiated was too high and I didn’t want to die a painful, agonising death. So out of the woods it was, I guess. Kind of a desperate thing to do, actually. So far, we hadn’t even seen a single human being.

Near the edge of Everfree Forest

Fluttershy looked around nervously, expecting to be ambushed any moment. When the anticipated attack did not come, she sighed, resuming to tend to her garden. Her nervousness faded away as she got into her element again – caring for critters of all sizes and shapes.
Heh. Element.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a distant shout and her head swivelled towards the source and she saw something that froze her blood. Without hesitating, she galloped away as fast as her hooves carried her.

Ponyville Library

Twilight sighed, resignedly wiping her face dry. Fluttershy had burst through the doors, blabbering nonsensically about something she could not understand.
“Calm down, Fluttershy. You’re not making any sense. Now, what’s happened? Is it a hydra? A manticore? Is there something heading towards Ponyville?”
“I-I-I think so.”
“Wait. Don’t tell me it’s those…”
“Yes. It’s them.” She whispered fearfully. Without a second thought, Twilight screamed.
“SPIKE! TAKE A LETTER!”

Bourbon stumbled and I could barely keep him upright.
“Fuck it, man! We’re almost there!” I shouted desperately, clamping my hands over his bloody stomach. “J-just hang in there!” I threw a glance at the still-distant town. I swear, we’d been walking for almost an hour, but we weren’t getting any closer.
“Aaagh. Let’s face it, kid. I’m not going to make it. Lea-“
“Shut the fuck up!” I snapped, attempting to pick him up. If he couldn’t even crawl any more, then I was going to carry him. He saved my life all those years ago. Now it was time to repay that favour.

Later

What the fuck.

That was all I could think of when I was looking at the settlement. Tiny colourful horses. EVERYWHERE. I. LOOK.
“Alyona… Wh-what is it? M-mutants? Dark Ones? Nazis? Reds?”
“I have no fucking idea, Bourbon. But-“ I was interrupted as a bunch of tiny horses with wings - with wings - landed in front of us, clad in armour.
Then they spoke.
“In the name of Princess-“
“FUCK OFF, YOU MUTATED FREAKS!” I screamed, finally letting go to my frustration. With a roar, I swung my AK, its stock connecting with the leading horse’s jaw. Out like a light. Using the element of surprise – or what was left of it – I swung again, unwilling to waste bullets on them, decking another of the bastards. I had a sneaking suspicion I’d need the ammo later.
“Take it down!” One of them shouted, rushing towards me.
“Just you try, you svoloch!” I responded, pulling back the AK and trying to get a bead on him. Fuck it. Who gives a shit about the ammo? And just as my finger tightened around the trigger, something else decided to make an appearance. The AK barked, sending off a burst of bullets towards the charging horse. Defying the laws of reality, they stopped mid-air and dropped on the ground. Everyone stopped moving as a new contender approached, landing in front of us all – a big, winged horse with a horn.
“Everypony, stand down now! There is no need for hostility.”

What. The. Fuck.

“Your Highness! We are not ones to point hooves, but the monster started it! It attacked one of the guards without provocation!”
“Is that so?” The winged, horned horse turned its admittedly intense gaze towards me and it took all of my willpower not to curl up on the ground and whimper. Luckily, I was still able to speak. And move.
“Stay the fuck back, freaks. J-just stay the hell away from us.” I stuttered, taking several steps backwards towards Bourbon. Big White didn’t relent, however, taking another step towards us, her expression neutral.
“I assure you, there is no need for hostility here. We do not mean any harm towards you or your friend.” She motioned towards Bourbon with a hoof. I sort of snapped then.
Whipping out my revolver, I fired a shot near her forelegs and she recoiled in surprise. I didn’t pay any attention to the angry shouts of the guards, instead focusing on Big White.
“STAY THE FUCK BACK, PADLA!” I was nearing the point where I’d cough up my lungs if I kept screaming. “I’ll kill you, I mean it! You’re not taking us alive!” Bourbon stirred weakly, groaning in pain.
“Alyona… I… I’m not feeling too good.” He gasped. Of course, Big White was quick to catch on that.
“Your friend is in much pain, that much I can tell. We can provide him with medical aid. Please trust me when I say nopony here would harm you. You have nothing to fear from us.”

Fuck.

I didn’t want to lose Bourbon. An asshole he may be, but he was someone whom you could rely on. Most of the time. I chewed on my lip nervously for a couple of moments before deciding to answer.
“F-fine. Do it, then.” I pretty much deflated like a burst tire right there and then, mentally whipping myself for actually giving in. But I didn’t want Bourbon to die. He was one of the few friends I have.

And I still had to kick his ass for drinking too much and sending us wherever here was in the first place.

Ponyville Hospital

“So, Alyona, why don’t you tell me where you are from?”
“Moscow. Or what’s left of it.”
“Oh?” She seemed confused.
“Well, since the air’s too poisonous to breathe, we moved into the Metro System. The world as we knew it died in 2013. It was a nuclear war.”
“Nuclear?” Celestia leaned closer, intrigued. Her innocence was amusing, in a way.
“Yep. Know what makes the sun work? Nuclear fusion. Our nukes used fission – a lot less powerful, but the fallout it leaves is persistent and lasting. Imagine that destructive power, bottled up. Almost every major nation had a rather big nuclear arsenal. There were enough warheads to destroy the world a dozen times over. Imagine – a world set aflame by nuclear fire.”
“By the Creator… Why would you willingly do that to your world?” I raised my hands in protest at that.
“I didn’t do shit. It all happened twenty years ago. Humans will abuse each other at the first chance. Some say that nuclear holocaust was the best thing that happened to us. Humans are self-destructive by nature. Even now, we’re killing each other over ideology – Nazis against Reds. And bandits are preying on caravaneers, killing them and taking their stuff. Hanza is trying to overtake every station, peacefully or not.” The princess in front of me seemed horrified, but nodded meekly.
“And then there’s the Rangers – real badasses. Their motto – ‘If it’s hostile – Kill it.’ They’re just about the only reliable guys in the whole of Metro. They’ll defend beleaguered stations against nosalises and what other mutants show up from their caves – Exhibition, for example. If you’re a Ranger, you can almost always expect a warm welcome in most of the stations and a warm bunk with fresh food waiting for you.” She seemed to consider my words.
“What about you and Bourbon? What sorf of a name is Bourbon, after all? Who would name himself after a drink?”
“You’ll have to ask him that. But enough about that. Me – I’m a Stalker.”
“And what, pray tell, is that?”
“I venture out on the surface to loot things. That’s how I earn my living. The lot of us Stalkers are regarded as heroes for some reason – more than thirty years ago, kids wanted to be cosmonauts or pilots. Now it’s all ‘Mommy, mommy, did you see that Stalker? Her guns look so cool!’”I cackled at the unintended double meaning of the last sentence, something Celestia didn’t understand. Good for her.
“Why would you risk your life for material wealth?”
“The people in Metro – most are busy with their own lives and guarding the stations from mutant attacks. Or killing each other. Either way, they are busy and have no time to wander around. So that’s what people like me are for – we get medical supplies – mostly outdated, but still useful – munitions, equipment, guns and suchlike. It’s a dangerous life, yes... but I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
“I see. Well, that is certainly quite the tale.” I grinned, starting to fiddle with my revolver.
“Thanks. Now, we wait for Bourbon to get out of surgery. Then he’ll tell you about his part of the story.”
“I cannot wait.”

Chapter 3

One of the guards glared at me as I finished reassembling my AK. I flipped him the bird. Returning to the assault rifle in my hands, I slapped a new clip in place and chambered a bullet. That done, I made sure the safety was on and packed up my cleaning kit. Celestia had observed me taking the AK apart, clean its inner workings and put it back together.
“I guess you like the gun.” I grinned crookedly, turning my attention to the Uboinik.
“No, no, it’s not that. It’s your, uh… what do you call them?”
“Oh, my hands?” I wiggled my fingers.
“Exactly. They’re so dextrous. Although we have magic to call upon, it’s still intriguing to see you use your hands.”
“Wait, what? Magic?”
“Why, yes. Though unicorns and alicorns like me have gotten the long end of the stick when it comes to magic, all ponies have their own kind of magic. Earth ponies are naturally strong and are very adept when it comes to agriculture. Pegasi are able to influence the weather patterns. There’s more to it than I care to remember, but I’m sure my student will be glad to explain it all to you.”
“Pardon me for saying so, but magic doesn’t exist where I come from. It’s just a myth. And we have stranger shit going on in the Metro.”
“Really?” Her voice was equal parts scepticism and curiosity.
“Da. There are the anomalies, ghosts, Dark Ones… and then some.” I can see she’s intrigued by what I’ve said, but then her attention is drawn to the several bullets still lying on the table. She hesitantly coughs.
“I presume you’d be loath to give up your weapons.”
“Ymenno tak. It’s an unspoken law in the Metro – Keep a weapon with you at all times. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll ask questions first and shoot later.”
“Thank you. But those, uh…”
“Bullets.”
“Thank you again. Why are some of them shinier than others?” I chuckled, picking one of the rounds up and tossed it to the alicorn. She caught it with her, uh… magic, I guess. Yep.
“Money. Military-grade rounds. Made before the war. The dirty rounds are made in the Armoury – no shortage of them, too - but they aren’t as efficient at killing things as MGRs. I’d rather not spend my savings in a single firefight, too.” Celestia made to give the shiny bullet back to me, but I waved my hand.
“Keep it. ‘s only a single round.” She nodded, slipping the round behind her necklace thingy. Shut up, I don’t know what it’s called.
“Earlier you mentioned something called anomalies. Ghosts. Dark Ones. Could you tell me about them?”
“I guess. We’re still waiting for Bourbon’s surgery to end, right?”
“Indeed so.”
“Then sit back and listen.” I grinned again. “We’ll start with anomalies. Think of a ball of lightning floating mid-air that has enough power to fry you dead in a blink.”
“Well, how does one avoid it?”
“Stay still.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Stand completely still and the anomaly’ll lose interest and float away. Dick about, however…” I let the words hang in the air, so to say. Celestia got the meaning and nodded. “Now, the ghosts are somewhat… odd.”
“How so?”
“Some say they’re souls of those that died in the Metro. They’re simply black outlines that you can see if you keep your flashlight on. But those things are deadly. I once saw a guy walk straight through a ghost. He just fell on the ground, curled up and… died. Just like that. Some say that ghosts are the souls of the dead, forced to relive the last moments of their lives forever and ever, and trapped in a limbo of sorts.”
“That sounds horrible.”
“You got that right. No one has an explanation for that stuff or why it’s happening. That leads us to the Dark Ones. Those things were once human. But they got changed by the nuclear blast. They can make you think yourself to death.”
“What?”
“I’m not kidding. I’ve seen the victims a couple of times, myself – I was dropping off some unneeded supplies at Exhibition station – that place’s been having some rough times lately. The wounded were screaming at things that weren’t there. Some died later. It’s a losing war they’re fighting, but they have nothing else to do.” I sighed, feeling a bit guilty at her horrified expression.
“Well, be assured you can stay here as long as you need.”
“Thanks for the offer, princess, but I’m not sure if we can even go back to the Metro. I have no idea how we got here, apart from that anomaly zapping us because Bourbon can’t handle his drink.” She frowns, pondering for a moment before answering.
“I suppose Twilight Sparkle may be of help to you. She’s my star student. There are few things that are out of her expertise.”
“Well, thanks for that.” A pony walked up to us, clad in surgeon’s overalls.
“We’ve finished with his injuries, princess. He came to a couple of minutes ago, cursing and asking for a drink.”
“Oh, that mudak will get what’s coming to him.” I growled, standing up.” When Celestia looked at me worriedly, I continued. “Don’t worry; I’m not going to kill him. I’d like to, though.” I followed the two ponies through the clean hallways to where Bourbon was waiting for us.

“Come on! Anyone? Hellooo! I need some vodka!” Bourbon’s gravelly voice reached my ears as a pony guard grumbled under his breath.
“I know, man. He’s a jackass. Don’t worry, I’ll sort him out.” I pushed the door open and walked inside. Celestia was fidgeting nervously as I crossed the space between the doors and Bourbon’s bed and slapped the idiot.
“You, sir, are an asshole.”
“VODKA!” He shouted back defiantly.
“Yob tvaju maty, mudak! From now on, you’re never drinking again!”
“What? Come on!”
“It’s your damn fault we’re here – no offense to the royalty – and I haven’t the slightest idea how to get back!” Celestia strode in slowly, regarding Bourbon with that cool, level gaze of hers.
“Stop looking at me like thaaaaaat!” Bourbon whined, tossing about for a moment. The princess chuckled.
“Oh, grow up, you big baby.” I muttered, picking at my eyebrow as Celestia held his gaze.
“I trust the doctors have treated you well.”
“PLEASE DON’T EAT ME-What?”
“You have nothing to fear from me, Bourbon.” She fell silent for a moment before speaking. “You seem to be well on your way to a full recovery. With some luck, you will be released from the hospital in two days. Alyona, could I have a word in private with you, please?”
“Uh… sure.” As we walked away, I called out to Bourbon. “Stop staring at her ass, Bourbon. Then again, I didn’t know you swung that way.” Celestia, bless her heart, caught on, and winked at him suggestively. Poor bastard’s face went dark red as he stuttered. I couldn’t hold back anymore and started laughing. Celestia joined, but was more restrained. She still struggled to keep a straight face. I did, however, raise my hand, intending to high-five her.

She obliged.

Fuck yeah.

“Alyona, I’m not sure I trust him.” Celestia whispered to me.
“Ah.” I sort of saw where this was going.
“I looked into his heart and saw many rather disturbing things. He has cheated and swindled many pon-er, people. I fear that his good deeds do not really equal his misdeeds. I ask for your opinion regarding what to do with him.”
“Huh. Hmmmm…” I rubbed my chin, lost in thought. “Well, I suppose I could keep an eye on him. See to it that he doesn’t do anything stupid. He’s not that bad, you know. Just an asshole.” She looks away, pondering for a couple of moments before turning back to me.
“You have proven yourself to be cooperative, Alyona. I hope my trust isn’t misplaced now. You and Bourbon shall be able to roam around freely. Should there, however, be any incidents, I will not hesitate to take action.”
“Ladno. We have a deal, then?” We shake hand to hoof on that.
“I would say so.” She smiles as I let go of her hoof. I can tell she’s still uncomfortable, but I say nothing. “Would you like to visit the town? Since your friend’s still confined to his bed, I guess I could introduce you to my student and her friends.”
“That’s a good place to start at as any, princess. Lead the way.”

I soon was sweating pretty badly. It was warm here, unlike in the Metro or The Surface and I had to stuff my jacket and the sweater in my backpack. The AK and Uboinik were slung across my shoulders as I fell into step at Celestia’s side. There was no one else around that I could see, but I felt like I was being followed all the same. Fucking creepy.
Celestia looked at me worriedly as I pulled back the hammer on my revolver.
“What? Is there trouble?”
“I don’t know. Something’s following us.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I whispered back, tensing up.
NOW!
I whirled around, trying to bring the gun to bear as a mass of something overly pink slammed into me, knocking me down on the ground. The revolver tumbled away, knocked from my grasp.
“HI! I’M PINKIE PIE! YOU MUST BE NEW IN TOWN!”

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE?

“Heeeeeelp!” I screamed, trying to dislodge my assailant from my back. No success. Oh, god, it was going to suck my blood out and lay eggs in my eye sockets! Help!

Chapter 4

The gibbering mass of something didn’t let go of me as I frantically rolled around in the grass.
“Celestia! Help! HEEEELP!” When I heard nothing from her, I got pissed. “I swear to God, I am going to start shooting everything!”
“Alyona, there is nothing to be afraid of. Pinkie Pie is simply very excited to meet new ponies. She likes to make friends.”
“I’m not a pony, damnit! Get off me!” I cursed, trying once more to get the damn blob of pink off my person. “Seriously! Get it off me before I start throwing grenades everywhere!”
“Pinkie Pie, that’s enough. Let her stand up.”
“Okie dokie lokie, princess!” The weight on my back vanished and I was finally able to get back on my feet. I snatched up my revolver and stuffed it in the holster on my hip, glaring at the bright pink pony bouncing around in front of me.
“Now, what the hell do you think you’re doing, jumping at other people?” Her answer was to jam something in my mouth.
“Here! Have a cupcake!” What the fuck is a cupcake-OH GOD, IT’S LIKE SWALLOWING A KILOGRAM OF SUGAR.
I retched emptily, trying to clear my windpipe of said ‘cupcake’.
“Gaah! What the fuck is in that th-“ Another one was stuffed in my mouth and cold, feverish ants crawled all over my skin as I shuddered. This time, I threw up for real. My breakfast splattered across the ground.
“N-no more! Please! Have mercy!” I groaned, trying once more to stand up.
“B-but everypony likes my cupcakes…!”
“Well, I’m not a pony. And it’s generally considered nice manners asking beforehand if they want to have a cupcake. Just stuffing them in other’s face would earn you a beating back in the Metro.”
“O-oh, I’m sorry I’m such a bother…” Holy crap, how’d she do that thing with her, uh… mane? It’s all flat now. She’s totally playing the guilty conscience card.
“Look, kid. No offence to you. But I’ve kind of never eaten anything sweet. Too busy for that. I’m sure I’d enjoy something of the sort, but not today.”
“Oh. Okay.” She seemed to brighten up a bit and I knelt down to ruffle her mane.
“I’m Alyona. I guess your name is Pinkie Pie. Fits you just right.” She smiled, getting less moody with every passing moment. I stood up, shaking some loose dirt from my hair and we resumed our trek. As Pinkie Pie trotted along happily, Celestia leaned closer to me.
“I don’t mean to pry, but why are you so against eating what others offer?”
“Some mudaks might try to poison you so they can take all of your stuff. That’s why I always keep my guns handy and my eyes and ears open.” She blanches visibly at that.
“Don’t blame me. You asked.”
“I just don’t understand why somepony would do such a thing.”
“Greed. Envy. That’s humanity for you. In the Metro, you need all your wits and luck to survive. If it’s not a bandit wanting to slit your throat, it’s a swarm of nosalises chasing after you, intent on gnawing your bones. The weak will perish quickly. But enough about that. Where are we going to?”
“To the Golden Oaks Library.”
“Library?”
“Why, yes. What, is something wrong?”
“Well, yes, if the library in question is teeming with flesh-eating monsters. Is that the case?”
“I wouldn’t say so.” After a couple of moments, she spoke again. “One day, you and I will sit down and talk for a long time. I know I’m not doing any favours to myself here, but I’m curious about your world, dark and violent as it is.”
“I guess that can be arranged, princess.” I responded, tugging at one of my backpack’s straps idly as we kept going down the path. A couple of silent moments later, something soft and fluffy enveloped me. As it turned out, it was Celestia’s mane that had taken upon itself to mummify me.
“Fuck!” I cursed, trying to find a way out. How big was her mane, anyways? I heard Celestia giggle as I unsuccessfully tried to untangle myself. “I’m sorry about that, Alyona. My mane never seems to cooperate with me.” I stumbled, but didn’t fall. Rolling around in the voluminous mass of hair, I stuck my head out. Somehow, Celestia’s mane was taking my entire weight. I literally was sitting inside her hair.
“What the hell?”
“Well, that’s definitely a new addition to my hairstyle. Are you alright, Alyona?”
“I don’t know! Is it going to come alive and crush me into a bloody pulp?”
“That’s unlikely to happen.”
“Unlikely, but still possible?”
“Enough of that, Alyona. There is nothing to be afraid of. If you want to, you can sit there for the remainder of the trip.”
“I’m not five years old, princess. I want out.” I muttered.
“As you wish.” She lowered her head, allowing me to tumble out of her mane. Pinkie Pie had no such reservations and she leapt inside, letting out a happy squeal. Celestia chuckled good-naturedly as we resumed walking, once more heading into Ponyville.

In hindsight, maybe I should’ve stayed inside her mane.

When I showed up, the place turned into a ghost town. Everyone ran away, hiding inside their houses. Doors slammed shut and windows were barred as we walked through the main street.
“You know what? Make some room, Pinkie Pie.” I dove head-first inside Celestia’s mane and waited. Maybe everyone will think there’s a portal to different worlds in here?

Shut up.

Celestia knocked politely on the door in front of her and waited. Moments later, it was opened by a small purple pony.
*gasp*”Princess Celestia? What’re you doing here?”
“Hello, Twilight. I have a friend I’d like you to meet.”
“Oh? Who is it?” I stuck my head out of Celestia’s hair.
“Privyet. I’m Alyona. Nice to meet you.” Twilight stared at me like I was a tumour on Celestia’s head.
“Uh. Princess. Th-th-there’s s-s-something in your m-mane!”
“I know, Twilight. She’s a friend and I’d like to introduce her to you and your friends. And there’s no reason to worry.”
“W-well, where’s the other one, then?”
“His name is Bourbon and he’s still recovering from his injuries. That stupid drunk bastard…” I muttered, clumsily leaving Celestia’s mane.
“So, uh… privyet. Nice to meet you, I guess.” I knelt down and stretched out my hand in greeting. The comparatively-smaller unicorn shrunk back a bit, but grasped my palm nonetheless.
“W-well, I guess… welcome to Ponyville.” She grins weakly as we shake hand-to-hoof. I stand up, slightly unbalanced by my overstuffed backpack. Pinkie Pie leaps out of Celestia’s mane, enthusiastically greeting Twilight. Celestia smiles at the two mares before speaking.
“I must go now, but be sure that I can be reached easily if need be. Others may think otherwise, but I have time for everypony in Equestria, as does my sister.” She nods once to me before flying away. There was a word for it… graceful.

Yeah, that’ll work.

I turned to Twilight as the silence got more and more awkward.
“So…” She muttered.
“So…” I chuckled at her flat, expression.
“I have no idea what to say. Well, uh… come in, I guess. Would you like some coffee?”
“That sounds nice.” I nodded. She smiled and led me inside.
“So, uh… Where’re you from?”
“Moscow. The Metro.”
“Metro?”
“Well, as soon as the coffee’s ready, I’ll tell you about the place in question. Deal?”
“Sure! Just sit down and make yourself comfortable.” I nodded; setting my backpack and weapons near a chair I chose and sat down, waiting. As I waited, however, I saw something strange come down the stairs – some sort of green and purple lizard thing. It froze once it saw me.
“Whoa… what are you?”
“I’m me. What are you?”
“I… I’m Spike. I’m a dragon.”
“A dragon? Are you serious?”
“I’m not adult, but I can breathe fire!”
“That is so cool! Can you show it to me?” Something clicked in my mind and I grinned sheepishly “By the way, I’m Alyona.” I stretched out my hand to shake his claw. He obliged, rather enthusiastic about showing his trick to me.
“Okay, stand back…” He inhaled, and let out a three feet plume of green flame – nothing overly spectacular, but freaking awesome nonetheless.
“That is so cool, man. Seriously.” Twilight chose to show up then, carrying a tray with coffee and… something else. I guessed it was some sort of food.
“Oh! I see you’ve already met Spike!”
“Twilight? Can you explain this whole business to me?” The baby dragon in question spoke up.
“Well, sit down, Spike. We’ll let Alyona talk.”
So that’s what I did. I told them what I knew of the pre-war world, Moscow, the Metro… told them everything I’d told to Celestia. Twilight was taking notes the whole time. Spike was staring in awe or shock at me. I couldn’t tell, really.

“So… I guess that’s enough for the day.” I yawned, looking out the window. It was getting late. Oh, god, Twilight seemed so annoyed by that. It was as if she wanted to stay up the entire night and disseminate the entire human history.
“Don’t worry, we can continue tomorrow. I *yawn* should get some sleep…”
“I have a spare bed in here somewhere… Just hang on ‘til I get it.”
“No problem.” Minutes later, I was presented with a godsend from the heavens. The neatest-looking bed ever.
“Spasibo, Twilight! I owe you one!” I stretched as she smiled.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m glad I could help. Well, good night, then. See ya tomorrow.”
“Ladno. Good night.” She nodded, leaving the basement I’d been shown to. Well, it was anything but a basement – warm and dry to boot. But I’m rambling.

Uh.

Chto za huy?

I stirred sleepily. It must’ve been past midnight! What was Twilight waking me up for?

“Huuuuumaaaaannnnn…”
What?
Once my eyes became accustomed to the low lighting, I was presented with a sight worthy of a nightmare fuel award. A minty green unicorn was staring at me with pinprick amber eyes. She looked like a complete and utter maniac.

Wait, what was she-WHY IS SHE HOLDING A KNIFE

“YOU ARE REAL!!!” She howled in triumph.
Needless to say, I screamed.

Shut up, you would scream too if a demented pony was staring into your soul so deeply it burned.
And then… I sort of tried to shoot her.

Chapter 5

There are times when you are presented with a situation and you decide how to react. Occasionally you react appropriately. Sometimes you do not.

I’m fairly sure that this time it was the latter.

In my defence, it was midnight. I wasn’t in the best state of mind, seeing as I had been roused from my sleep and was instantly assaulted by a unicorn with a fetish for humans – Twilight explained it to me later – and was apparently hell-bent on cutting my hands off.

So I hope you’ll forgive me if I backhanded my would-be assailant across the room, scrabbling out of my bed as I reached for my weapons. The closest one I could find was my AK. Grabbing that one, I turned around, just as the unicorn’s face filled my vision. Involuntarily, I squeezed the trigger, sending a burst of bullets off, the unicorn slamming into me as she let out an ear-piercing shriek.
“YOU ACTUALLY ARE REAL!” My aim was off by kilometres and the spray of bullets slammed into the wall. I yelled out in pain as I fell flat on the floor, the unicorn still latched onto my chest. She raised the knife but I was faster, jamming the barrel of my AK under her chin.
“You make one wrong move and your brains’ll be splattered across the wall. We clear, tovarish?” That took the starch out of her and she froze fearfully, but nodded weakly.
“Nu tak. Get the fuck off me. And drop the knife.” I growled and she complied all too gladly, scampering away, her weapon clattering on the floor. I stood up; holding her in my sights, just as Twilight nearly fell down the stairs, a lantern in her grasp.
“What is all this noise? It’s midnight, for hay’s sake! I need to sleep!” She glared at me, then at Lyra. Her expression of anger turned to that of confusion and then, realisation.
“Lyra? Lyra Heartstrings? What are you doing here? Why does it smell like something’s burnt?”
“Well, that would be me, Twilight. Your manic green friend tried to cut my hands off while I was asleep. I, uh… tried to shoot her.” I responded sheepishly and she gasped in shock.
“What?”
“Hey! What would you do if you woke up in the middle of night and found out someone’s trying to maim you?”
“Uh… I’d freak out, I guess.”
“Exactly. Now, what do we do with this nutjob friend of yours? Why’d she go after me?”
“I’ll explain it in the morning.” She turns to Lyra and scowls. “I think you’d better go, Miss Heartstrings.”
“But the humans are reaaaaaaaalll!” She whined pleadingly. I pointed my AK at her. That worked and she yelped, clambering upstairs and away. Twilight tsk’d, annoyed.
“Did you really have to do that?”
“Da. Didn’t you say you needed to sleep? I don’t know about you, but I’m all but ready to fall over. Dobry nochy.” I got back in my bed, keeping my AK at hand’s length. Just in case. Twilight sighed resignedly, muttering a quiet ‘good night’ to me and walked upstairs.
Luckily, that was the only incident that night and I was able to sleep uninterrupted till the morning.

I don’t know what time it was when I woke up – I guessed it was, like, close to noon or so. Nevertheless, I felt amazing – it had been ages since I’d last slept in an actual bed. I sat up, yawning as I stretched my arms out.
Could use some coffee.
Having once more donned my clothes – the thick, insulated jacket, sweater, gloves and backpack aside – I went upstairs, in search of some food.

I was greeted by Spike, who waved at me happily.
“Hey! You’re up late.”
“Yeah, I guess so. It is a good bed, though.”
“Yeah. So, I’m guessing you’d like something to eat?”
“Can’t hurt. I and Bourbon already spent our own rations while back in that forest. What do you have to offer?”
“Pancakes!”
“Pancakes? What’re those?”
“What? You’ve never really eaten any?”
“Uh, no. The orphanage I grew up at didn’t serve fancy food.”
“Orphanage?” His face creased in confusion and I mentally cursed myself for slipping up like that.
“Never mind, pacan. How about them… pancakes, then?”
“Oh! Sure. Just follow me.” As we went inside the kitchen, he added. “Twilight went into town to get some supplies, if you were wondering.”
“Ah. Okay.”

I am not going to lie.

These pancakes were heavenly. No other word for it. Spike was one hell of a cook. I’m serious! I was just about to start singing of undying love to Spike from the rooftops of Ponyville when Twilight returned. She just eyed the dirty dishes, the empty bottle of maple syrup – another food fit for gods that I hadn’t ever known of before – and chuckled good-naturedly.
“Spike’s been busy, I presume.” The dragon in question shrugged in response, busy with cleaning up the aftermath of my feeding frenzy. I hiccupped twice before sitting upright and started helping Spike with his task. He tried waving me off.
“Spike, it’s no problem. It’s the least I can do for you cooking those awesome pancakes.” He shrugged and stepped aside, letting me deposit the dirty dishes in the sink and I started scrubbing them. As I did so, I started humming quietly – helps pass the time, too.

You say "Yes", I say "No".
You say "Stop" and I say "Go, go, go".
Oh no…
You say "Goodbye" and I say "Hello, hello, hello"
I don't know why you say "Goodbye", I say "Hello, hello, hello"
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello…

Ah, the words were coming back to me now. I smiled involuntarily as I got more into it.

I say "High", you say "Low".
You say "Why?" And I say "I don't know".
Oh no…
You say "Goodbye" and I say "Hello, hello, hello"
I don't know why you say "Goodbye", I say "Hello, hello, hello"
I don't know why you say "Goodbye", I say "Hello"…

If my memory serves me right, I was swaying from side to side in rhythm at that point. I liked that song. As soon as I had finished washing up, the song ended seconds later and I stopped and got somewhat of a surprise. Spike and Twilight were eyeing me in surprise. I felt like I’d been partaking in a scandal of sorts as I coughed awkwardly.
“Uh…”
“Wow. You’re a great singer, Alyona.” Twilight muttered, surprised.
“Well… I’m not one to brag, but I had to do something to pass my time between venturing topside. Bought a music player at Polis and stuffed it full of music. Keeps me busy.” I shrugged. “Glad you like my singing, though.” Spike piped up at that.
“It’s a nice song, too. What’s it called?”
“Hello Goodbye by The Beatles.”
“Beetles?”
“Beatles. One of the greatest bands in the history of humankind. Of course, what with the nuclear war and all… You get the idea.”
“Yeah…”
“So… what is there to do around this town?” Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully at that. Are hors-pony legs supposed to bend like that? Never mind. Different, uh… world, different rules. I guess.
“Well, I guess you could visit my friends. That’s a start, right?”
“It’s a good idea, except for one glaring flaw. I have no idea where they are.” Twilight grinned sheepishly, but then, Spike came to her rescue.
“Don’t worry, Twilight! I’ll take care of it!” She sighed, relieved, and nodded at us.
“Many thanks, Spike. Let me just get some stuff from my backpack.” He nodded at that and sat down, waiting. I went downstairs, picking up my revolver and stuck it in my holster on the hip. Force of habit. Next was my music player – more force of habit – which I stuffed into a custom-crafted pouch on my belt. I’d rigged a small dynamo to it so I could recharge it on the go if need be. Making sure the bed was tidied and my stuff was organised – I’m OCD like that – I nodded, satisfied with my handiwork and went upstairs, almost forgetting to leave a note on my belongings, warning others not to touch it. I don’t want anyone to blow themselves up or suchlike.

“Uh… Why do you have that weapon with you?” Spike hesitantly asked as we went down the main street.
“Force of habit, moy drug. You wouldn’t understand, though. Metro’s dangerous.”
“I suppose.” He nodded as we kept walking.
“So, where are we going to?”
“The Carousel Boutique. Rarity’s a dressmaker.” At saying ‘Rarity’, his face attained a dreamy smile and he sighed. Then he walked straight into a tree.
“Ow!” He yelped out, falling on his back, clutching his nose. I chuckled for a moment before I knelt down and helped him up.
“C’mon, stay still, pacan. Let me check if there’s any bleeding…” I turned his head this way, that way, but it seemed there was little in the way of injuries, just a bit of bruising and I let go of him, standing up. “Might want to watch where you’re walking.”
“I guess. Okay… You seem like good at keeping secrets.” He leaned up, whispering to me, looking like a bona fide conspirationist. “I have a crush on Rarity…”
“Uh-huh. Okay.” He seemed to be unperturbed by my short answer and sighed dreamily.
“She is so beautiful and glamorous. It’s like I have a flock of butterflies in my stomach every time I see her…” I pulled him aside, just in time to help him avoid from walking into another tree. He shook his head dazedly, and grinned sheepishly at me.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” I shrugged and we continued with our trek.

It was another ten minutes later when we arrived at our destination – the Carousel Boutique.
“Nu i nu… it really looks like a carousel…” I muttered as we walked up to the door and Spike knocked on it. A moment later, someone sing-songed.
“I’m comiiiiing…!” Another moment later, the door opened and a pearly white unicorn with a purple mane bowed at us, smiling brightly.
“Welcome to Carousel Botique! Do come in, do… Uh?” She decided to take in her surroundings and stared at me in surprise. Was that going to become mandatory when I meet new peo-er, ponies here?
“Dobry dyenj. I’m Aly-“ I was interrupted as the unicorn – Rarity, I presumed – turned around and ran back inside.
“Well, that’s rude…” I muttered, surprised. Spike seemed to share that sentiment, when he blanched in shock, tugging on my trousers nervously.
“Uh. Alyona?”
“A?”
“Run.”
“Chto?” He pointed with a shaky arm inside the shop and I saw the unicorn return, her face bearing an expression I was all too familiar with.
To make things worse, she was carrying a bunch of needles and a measuring tape. I had no idea what she was going to do with them, but I was in no mood to find out.
“Run.” Spike whispered to me and dove aside as the unicorn howled with maniacal glee, charging at me.
“I SHALL MAKE YOU LOOK GLAMOROUS!”

And here we go again…

Chapter 6

I guess I may have screwed up a little bit this time. Spike went loco when he saw me whack Rarity over the head with a frying pan. I grumbled, dropping the piece of kitchenware on the ground and started pulling out the pins sticking out from my left palm.
“Yob tvaju maty…” I cursed, yanking another one out. At one moment, I had tripped and brought my hand up just in time for Rarity to make a pincushion out of it. She was… handy with that measuring tape, to say the least. She’d wrapped it around my ankles. Nevertheless, I won in the end. Now, I’m almost finished with removing these needles and pins from my arm. Once the last one drops on the cobblestones, I can’t help but examine the rivulets of blood running down my arm. Shit. Kind of hurt, to be fair. And there were no bandages nearby, too. Double shit.

Spike was still wailing in terror at the motionless Rarity. I knelt down in front of the unconscious unicorn and started to check her. Pulse – fine. Breathing – normal. Injuries – none to be found aside from that frying pan-induced lump on her head.
“Uspokoysja, Spike! She’s just unconscious. She could use an ice pack when she wakes up, however. We should get her back to her shop, no?”
“I… Okay.” He sighed relievedly as I lifted the object of his affections in my hands and followed him back to the boutique.

I sighed, trying to not become overly irate at the white unicorn a ways off from me as I plucked another needle out of my arm.
“Rarity, you do that again, and I will wreck you. What is your fucking problem? Stop – chyort! – stop that!”
“Rarity, please, she’s a friend!” Spike piped up from behind his chair.
“She looks horrid! Just look at that fabric and stitches! I must fix that!”
“Then how about you stop trying to bleed me to death by stabbing me with your needles?” That seemed to give her pause and she shook her head furiously.
“O-of course. I-I’m sorry I reacted like that. I just have never seen apparel so atrocious!”
“Well, I don’t care! I come from a place where survival is the only thing that matters. So, do I have your word that you won’t try to kill, maim or rape me?”
“Oh, why would I do such a-“ I looked at her meaningfully and she cringed. “Never mind. Well, anyways… I am Rarity.” She put the measuring tape away and I relaxed some.
“And I am Alyona.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Your friend Twilight sent me over here. Said she was busy today or suchlike and I’m not one to sit around, doing nothing.”
“Hmm. So, about those clothes… Could you perhaps allow me to take your measurements? I can’t stand by and leave you dressed like that.” She… actually had a valid point. My shirt was still torn from where I’d taken a strip of it for Bourbon’s wound. My trousers could use a wash. Truth be told, I smelt a bit badly, too.
“Hmm… Okay. But no funny business.” I stretched my arms out as she lifted the measuring tape in her magic. I still have no idea how that stuff worked, but it seemed harmless enough. As she went to work, we began to chat.
“So, Alyona, how old are you?”
“24 years old.”
“Oh. Where do you come from?”
“Moscow.” Her brow creased in confusion.
“Well, I can’t say I’ve ever heard of such a place. What’s it like over there?”
“Cold. Deadly. Poisonous. Radioactive. Toxic.”
“What?” She gasped in shock, her tools of trade falling on the floor.
“Well, we have some time, so I’ll tell you what I told to Celestia and Twilight. Ladno?”
“W-what’s that mean?”
“It means ‘okay?’”
“Oh. Well, sure, I guess. If it’s okay with you.”
“Hmm. How about we round up the rest of your friends and then I’ll tell my story to you all at once? Easier that way.”
“True enough. Well, once we’re done with this, we could go and introduce you to others. It’s been a rather slow day today for me as well.”
“We're agreed, then.” I answered, waiting as she jotted down a series of numbers on a nearby levitating notebook with a pencil.
“Um, what sort of clothing would you like, Alyona?”
“It should be simple and durable. Something that lasts.” She grinned at that.
“Well, that should be quite the challenge for me, don't you think so? To create something for the everyday occasions, yet make it look stylish at the same time!” She laughed, and I chuckled softly, amused somewhat by her enthusiasm.
“You sure there's no way I can convince you I don't need new clothes?” She gave me a meaningful look and I shrugged. “Okay, okay... No need to get your panties in a bunch.” She frowned at that, but continued working.

She finished a couple of minutes later and then we headed out to meet the rest of her friends, Spike perched atop my shoulders. He was ecstatic of his new vantage point, too. Rarity smiled at the sight.
“You seem like a good sort, Alyona.” I grinned at that.
“Of course I am. Something on your mind?”
“No, merely curious as to where you are from. But I guess we'll find out.”
“That you will.”
“Hmm. We could go to the Sugarcube Corner first. My friend Pinkie Pie works there.
“Oh, Pinkie? I already met her when I left the hospital. She's... odd, but seems really friendly.”
“Ah. Well, that's one way of putting it, true enough. She loves making new friends, though she tends to get a bit overexcited on the occasion.”
“Mhh-mm...” We didn't say much during the remainder of our trip, just some odd snippets we threw each other's way as we walked on.

Sugarcube Corner was just about the strangest place I'd ever seen. And I've seen plenty, trust me. But this place took the cake.

Heh. Cake.
Nevertheless, we strode in, and were greeted by none other than Pinkie Pie.
“Hello and welcome to the Sugarcube Corner! Oh, it's you! Hi, Alyona! Hi, Rarity! Hi, Spike! How're you doing this fine day and what brings you here?”
“Huh. Should've guessed you'd work in a bakery. Well, anyways, I was going to tell my story to you and your friends and I decided it'd be easier if I told you all at once. Are you free at the moment?”
“What a coincidence! I was just going on a break. Count me in! We must advance the storyline!” She replied enthusiastically.

Wait a minute. Play that last bit again.

“Uh, what was that? You mentioned something about… Never mind.” Rarity rubbed her temples before brightening up. “So, are you coming, then?”
“Yippers!” The pink mare announced happily, bouncing up to us and we left the garish bakery. I spoke after a moment.
“So, where to now?” Rarity rubbed her chin thoughtfully.
“We could visit Fluttershy. She’s a kind soul. She runs an animal hospital near the Everfree Forest, but she’s terribly shy, so be tactful, Alyona.”
“I always am.” I grinned and she cringed.
“Oh, this can only go down well.”

To say that Fluttershy’s Cottage was peaceful was selling it short.
It was idyllic. Serene and, uh… tranquil. To a Stalker like me, it seemed like a dream place. Our little group walked up to the gate and Rarity opened it with her magic and we walked up the small path leading to the cottage.

I knocked on the door and waited as I heard a quiet voice from the other side.
“Just a minute…” I heard faint footsteps-no, hoofsteps as they approached the door. A moment later, the door latch clicked and the door opened, presenting us with a pink-maned pegasus with a butter-yellow coat.
“H-hello?” She looked at me and gasped in surprise. “It’s you!” I really had nothing to answer her with, so I simply nodded.
“It’s me. Alyona.” She shrunk and became very small and meek.
“Please don’t hurt me…”
“What?” She muttered again.
“P-please don’t hurt me…”
“I can’t hear you, Fluttershy. Really.”
“Please don’t hurt me.”
“Why would I do that?” My eyebrows migrated to my hairline right there and then. The meek pony in front of me tried to come up with a reason and failed.
“Oh, okay, then…”
“Well, we’re here for a reason. I’m rounding up your friends so I can tell you about me. I already talked to Twilight, but I’d rather not tell the same thing five times over, too.” Fluttershy thought about that for a moment and nodded slowly.
“Well, I’m not doing anything today, so I guess I’m free.” She gasped in surprise. “Wait! What about your friend? Is he alright?”
“Da. He’s in hospital.”
“Oh, okay. That’s a weight off my shoulders. I wanted to help him when I noticed you both all those days ago, but I was so scared…”
“It’s nothing. Well, then – let’s go. Whom do we have to find now?” Fluttershy looked at the group for a couple of moments before answering.
“Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Applejack lives very close, too. Sweet Apple Acres are just around the corner, so to speak.” I chuckled at that.
“Lead the way.” She nodded and off we went.

“So… what are apples?” I asked Rarity and her eyes widened in surprise.
“You’ve never eaten any?”
“Da. The surface is a very hostile place. We don’t grow much in the way of fruits and vegetables – just the necessities, like potatoes and suchlike.” The widespread farmstead slowly grew bigger in our sight as we walked down the beaten path leading up to it.
“Looks like a nice place, alright.” As we kept going, I kept noticing that they all kept glancing hesitantly at my holstered revolver. A while later, I sighed irately.
“I am not going to shoot anyone, guys. I’m not stupid.” To prove my point, I pulled the gun out of my holster, popped the bullets out of it and stuffed them in my pocket.
“There. Better now?” I got several nods in response. “Okay, then. Let’s keep going.” That’s when Rarity cried out in shock.
“Rainbow Dash, no!”

Who, now?

I whirled around, just as a cyan blue blur slammed into me and

Chapter 7

The first thing I felt as my consciousness returned was a dull, jarring throb in my left wrist. The back of my head was damp. Everything was, well… blurry. Sounds were muffled and distant, but I could make out Rarity's stern tone. She was chastising someone. Then, I felt someone else poke at my wrist and I moaned in pain. That, in turn, made my chest hurt and I held still until the pain subsided. Okay, what the heck happened? We were walking towards the Sweet Apple Acres. We'd gotten quite close to our destination, too, when Rarity shouted something about a dashing rainbow. Then something blue knocked me down and out.

The fuck's a rainbow?

“Ow… Nu yob tvaju maty...” I groaned.
“Oh, dear, she’s hurt badly!” Fluttershy exclaimed worriedly, poking at my wrist again.
“Uuuugh…” I groaned. “Help…” At that, I was propped upwards by a very helpful Pinkie Pie and Spike. My spine screamed in protest, but I managed to remain upright.
“So. What the fuck happened? Why’s my wrist dislocated?” Rarity looked at me then.
“Well, Rainbow Dash attacked you without a reason, that’s why.” The newcomer rolled her eyes at that, glaring at me mistrustfully.
“I thought it was going to eat or attack you!”
“Her name is Alyona and she's done nothing of the sort!” Rarity exclaimed incredulously. “She may be many things, but she does have far better manners than you ever will, Rainbow Dash! Princess Celestia herself vouches for her!” That seemed to take the starch out of 'Rainbow Dash' and she glanced at me briefly.
“Re-really?” I nodded once in return and she seemed to deflate even more. “Oh, um... Sorry. It's not every day I see something like, uh... well, you. My name's Rainbow Dash. And, uh... sorry about attacking you.” She stuck her hoof out at me, a sheepish grin on her face.
“Podozhdyi-ka. I need to re-set my wrist...” Fluttershy interrupted then.
“Oh, let me! I can help.”
“No offence to you, Fluttershy, but do you have taken care of humans before?”
“Um, well, no...”
“Ah, don't worry. Just need to do this correctly...” I muttered as I gingerly grasped my palm and twisted it the right way – I'd dislocated limbs before in my life, so I knew what was I doing – and I heard the pop and crack of bone and flesh. I sighed in relief – it's one of the best feelings ever when you re-set a dislocated limb. Soon, though, it started to throb dully and I grumbled, slowly standing up as I poked gingerly at the back of my head. My fingers were smeared with blood and a couple of black hairs as I gave Rainbow Dash a flat stare. She chuckled nervously, poking at the ground sheepishly.
“Heh, heh... sorry. Your name's Alyona, then, right?”
“Da.” I nodded slowly before running a quick inventory check. Hmm... Nothing's disappeared, which is good. Hmm. “Let's go.” Rarity cringed slightly then.
“But your head's bleeding!”
“Ah, don't worry. I'll take care of it later. I've had worse, trust me.”
“Re-really?”
“Da.” I nodded, pulling up the left sleeve of my shirt, displaying a long scar on my shin. “See? Got this one from a Demon. I got lucky that time... I came this close to becoming meat salad.” Rainbow oohed in surprise/awe, while others blanched in shock.
“What sort of a job puts you in danger of dying?” She muttered confusedly. “I mean, working in the weather service does put us pegasi at some danger, but nothing like life-threatening injuries!”
“I'm a Stalker.”
“Wait, you follow ponies around and spy on them? That's creepy.” I snickered at that.
“No, not that sort of a Stalker! Look, I'll explain everything to you once we find the last of your group, horosho?”
“Uh, sure, I guess. I guess you were headed towards Sweet Apple Acres, then?”
“Da. Let's keep going.” Rainbow nodded and we headed onwards.

When we finally arrived, I was awestruck. The farmlands were a vibrant mix of lush, lively colours and I stopped immediately, taking a moment to look around – back in Moscow, the only trees were cold, dead husks, eaten away by radiation and harsh weather. Here, however... everything was flourishing.
“Well, Ah'll be! Hey, girls! What brings ya here?” We turned to look at an orange mare wearing a cowboy hat – I'd only seen it in books and old movies. Her mane was tied in a ponytail – heh – and her eyes were green. She trotted up to us, but kept eyeing me, both hesitant and curious.
“And, uh... who're you?”
“I'm Alyona. Nice to meet you.” I knelt down, sticking out my hand.
“Ah'm Applejack! Me an' my family run the Sweet Apple Acres!” She enthusiastically shook my hand, smiling, and then spoke again. “Ah've nev'r seen ya before. Must be new to Ponyville, huh?”
“You could say that... It's somewhat of a long story.”
“She's never eaten a cupcake before! Or apples, for that matter!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
“Wha- Really?”
“It's true! She comes from a gloomy, dreary place called Moscow! And it's boring over there!”
“Well, if by boring you mean 'live by the skin of my teeth', then yes. It is boring.” I responded to the pink pony's exclamation.
“Well, shoot! So you've never eaten an apple?”
“Nyet. To be fair, I've never eaten a single fruit during my life.”
“Can't have that, now can we? Come on! I have some freshly-picked apples in th' kitchen.” She gestured to the large house a ways off and we followed the amiable farmpony.

Once we were inside, I was once more treated to a surprise – the house was so clean and tidy! Back in the Metro, it was always cold – even in the stations, so everyone had to always wear warm clothes. Applejack noticed my surprise and chuckled softly.
“Aw, shucks, it's nothin'. This place's old, but we keep it runnin'. 's a family business, after all!”
“Where I come from, well, life's hard. You've got it better than us, back at the Metro.” She nodded slowly and I coughed quietly.
“Nu tak. So, we're all here. I guess now's a good time as any for me to tell my story.” We sat down on the chairs and I had soon gained the undivided attention of five mares and a baby dragon, and I smirked inwardly as I started to speak.
“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...” I broke down right there and then, snickering unreservedly as I collapsed on the table. I could tell they were staring at me in surprise as I shook in my mirthful paroxysms. What, did you really think I wouldn't use the chance? Anyways, it took me a couple of moments to collect myself and sit up. Rainbow Dash was the first to speak.
“The hay was that about?”
“Oh, I'll explain you later, okay?” She nodded warily and I continued, retelling what I had told to others. It took me the better part of three hours to do so, but eventually, we got to where we were sitting right now.

“Heh. You're pretty awesome, Alyona.” I shrugged slowly at that as Rainbow Dash grinned amiably at me.
“I try.” Fluttershy spoke up then.
“A-are you sure you don't need some ice for that wrist? It has to be painful...”
“It's nothing. I've had worse.” I flexed the limb in question.
“Well, at least let me give you a salve to help with the swelling. I mean, if that's okay with you...” She muttered bashfully and I caved in at that. I mean, come on! Who wouldn't melt when subjected to that smile?
“Nu ladno. I guess it can't hurt to try...” She smiled happily at that. Applejack trotted up to me, carrying a couple of apples with her.
“Here, try one!” I chuckled and took one of the shiny red fruits in my hand, taking a moment to examine it before taking a bite. Instantly, my taste buds were assaulted by a completely alien taste and I closed my eyes blissfully, overwhelmed by the new experience. I devoured the fruit in mere moments and licked my lips as Applejack looked on expectantly.
“Well? How was it?”
“Unbelievable. Food fit for gods, I say!” She grinned and gave me another apple.
“Then have 'nother one, friend!” I consumed in. And then several more.

“Hmm. So you're stuck here f'r the time bein'?”
“Da. No telling when I'll be able to go back.”
“Huh. Well, lemme make an offer to ya. You stay here at the Sweet Apple Acres. You work for us – applebuckin', field ploughin', the like. We have an empty room that needs somepony to live in it. An' we could always use a helpin' hoof 'round here. Whatcha say, parnder?” She spat on her hoof and stuck it out at me. I didn't have to think long and I spat on my palm and we shook on it, hoof-to-hand.
“Deal.” She smiled brightly.
“'kay, then! Ah'm gonna spruce yer new room up some.”
“Ladno. I'll get my stuff from Twilight's.” She nodded, while others congratulated me. We stood up and walked outside, with Applejack waving enthusiastically at me as me, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash headed off towards Ponyville. Along the way, we made a quick stop at Fluttershy's cottage and she gave me a small pot, filled with the salve she'd promised earlier.

I whistled thoughtfully as I walked down the path again, my backpack and weapons strapped to my back. My left wrist was wrapped with some bandaging to let the salve do its work. Twilight had been excited to find out Applejack had decided to employ me in the farm, but she'd been disappointed she could no longer use me for information regarding humans and Metro. I promised her I'd drop by whenever I was free and let her take notes. She nearly broke my ribs when she tacklehugged me. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Oh well.

Applejack grinned at me as I walked up to the house.
“That was quick!”
“I don't doodle around. I hate sitting idle.”
“Well, then, Ah think we're gonna get along jus' fine! Come on in! Ah have ta introduce ya with my folks!” I nodded and we went inside the living room. It was... cosy, I guess – a couple of chairs, a couch, a table or two, and a fireplace. Applejack seated me down on one of the chairs and then called out.
“Granny Smith! Big Mac! Applebloom! Come on downstairs! We have ourselves a guest an' Ah'd like t'introduce her to y'all!” Moments later, a clatter of hooves announced the arrival of the rest of Apples and I finally saw the other members of Applejack's family – a wizened green mare with her grey mane in a bun, a small, yellow foal with red mane, and a red, heavily built stallion with short, yellow mane. He wasn't hard to look at, not at allALYONA SEVERNAYA, DID YOU REALLY JUST THINK THAT? GOSPODJI MOY, GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF, GIRL!

“Alyona? You're kinda spacin' out there...” Applejack's words returned me to now and here and I shook my head, grinning sheepishly.
“Sorry. You were saying?” She eyed me for a moment before speaking.
“So, this is Granny Smith... Granny, meet Alyona.” She pointed at the elder mare and she trotted up to me, inspecting me. She might be old, but she was sharp-eyed.
“Well, then, youngin'. Nice ta see you've got some meat on yer bones! Work over here ain't easy, ya know!” I shrugged slowly.
“I can pull my own weight. The Surface weeds out the weak rather quickly. You need to be strong to survive back there...” She nodded slowly.
“Tha's what Ah like t'hear! Meet th' problem 'ead on, right?”
“Ymenno tak.” Her eyes narrowed before she nodded again.
“Y'sound like you're from Stalliongrad, kid.”
“Stalingrad? Nyet, I'm from Moscow. And how do you know of Stalingrad, anyways?”
“You're mixin' th' words up, kid! Stalliongrad! Cold and wintry all th' time ov'r there!”
“Stalingrad.”
“Stalliongrad!”
“Stalingrad.”
“Stalliongrad!”
“Stalingrad.”
“Stalliongrad!”
“Stalliongrad.”
“Stalingrad! Oh, consarn it!” She muttered, scowling lightly before chuckling. “Ah like ya already. Welcome t'the Sweet Apple Acres, kid!” She shook my hand and vice versa. Only with hooves.

Whatever.

So, I was introduced to both Big Mac and Applebloom afterwards. I showered myself, had a dinner with the Apples and went to sleep afterwards, seeing as night was already encroaching upon us. I plopped down in the bed and was asleep in mere moments...

“WAKEY, WAKEY, EVERYPONY!” Applejack's enthusiastic voice instantly got me awake. I'm a light sleeper and I've always been a morning girl. Drove others at the orphanage crazy. Nonetheless, I sat up, stretching as I yawned. Applejack knocked on the door to my room.
“Come in!” The door popped open and the orange farmpony walked in, nodding appreciatively as she looked at me.
“You're awake! Nice t'see! Come on, let's get some breakfast!” A very sleepy and very grumpy Applebloom trotted past Applejack through the corridor, cursing mornings. I climbed out of my bed, donning my clothes and followed Applejack downstairs to the kitchen, where a breakfast already awaited – cereals, pancakes, coffee, the like. And apples. Glorious, glorious apples. Vkusno.

Well, a whole new day awaited me.

It was a good day.

Author's Note

Big Mac gets all the mares.

Chapter 8

So, where exactly do I start off at?

I don’t really know. Ah, well. Let me think for a second…
Okay, here we go.

When we had finished with the breakfast, we went outside and I winced slightly in the sunlight. The weather was amazing. I had an inkling it was like this most of the time – sunny, warm and generally nice. Shrugging slowly, I followed Applejack and the rest of her family. Applebloom was understandably sullen, I guess – she wanted to stay home and talk to me instead of going to school.

“Don't worry, Applebloom, I am not going to disappear into thin air. I'm still going to be here by the end of the day!”
“D’ya promise?”
“Da. I promise.” That seemed to make her slightly happier and she smiled at me.
“’kay, then. See ya after the school!” With that, she grinned and trotted away down the path. I turned to Applejack and she motioned for me to follow. I nodded and off we went into the Sweet Apple Acres proper.

Well, this was… new. Then again, the Apples were the best at growing… apples. Anyways, the hills were covered in all manners of apple trees, laden with the ripe, red/orange/green/what have you fruits and I involuntarily licked my lips. Applejack chuckled at that.
“Easy there, pardner. You’ll be able to get some later at break time. For now, let’s get to applebuckin’!” I nodded and followed her into the valley…

I stared up at the apple tree, eyeing the shiny fruits dangling from the branches. How, exactly, was I going to get to them by kicking the tree?
“Why didn’t I ask her about it earlier? Blyin.” I cursed, then sighed. Welp.

Time to go all monkey style, I guess.

As it turns out, clambering across a tree, plucking its fruits loose and tossing those into a basket five metres below you isn’t all that easy. I’d nearly fallen several times, and a couple of the branches had nearly snapped under my weight, causing me to use several choice curses and scramble back towards my previous location. But I was getting the job done either way. After a while, the basket was full and I set out back towards the farm. On my way I came across Applejack, who waved at me. She too, was carrying apples – two baskets slung across her back and I chuckled as we walked along the path.
“Way to one-up me, Applejack.” She chuckled in return.
“Well, the basket’s full. That’s all that matters. Just keep doing what you’re doing, Alyona. Every little helps, right?”
“I guess that’s true.” I muttered to myself and reaffirmed my grip on the basket as we walked.

Once back at the farm, we emptied the baskets into an empty cart and headed out towards our separate destinations once more.

Rinse and repeat.

Rinse and repeat.

It went on for several hours – even though I started to get sore at some point, I could simply just tough it out. I’d been put through worse things, believe you me. As I went about my work, I started up my music player, and clipped it to my belt – I opted not to use my earphones. The damn things would most likely get snagged somewhere, and I didn't have a spare pair. I hummed to myself as I kept filling up my basket with apples, the tunes from my music player helping with breaking my task's monotonous pace.

Take me down to the Paradise City
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Oh, won't you please take me home...?

I leaned downwards, and tossed a pair of apples into the basket. Two points, yeaah~

Take me down to the Paradise City
Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Oh, won't you please take me home...?

I clambered along, taking more care now as several more apples landed in the basket, some good, old-fashioned Guns N' Roses blasting from the small device on my waist – the sound was somewhat tinny, but clear enough for me to hear and sing along. It had a positive effect on me, too – I moved across the branches more confidently, the apples came loose with less effort, and my clothes didn't get snagged anywhere. I suppose it had something to do with the fact that I could actually relax in this land – no one was out to get me here, a particular mint-green unicorn aside. I wasn't going to get jumped by bandits, or mutants. Or anyone and anything that was detrimental to my well-being, once more, a particular mint-green unicorn aside.

Hem, hem.

The time passed by faster as the music poured from the small music player, but my mind was still unsettled – how would I return to the Metro? Was there even a way for me and Bourbon to get back? I didn’t actually mind this place, but the Metro was my home, after all. I would have to ask Celestia someday if she could help me with this predicament. And, speaking of Bourbon…

Could I still rely on him? If the news were that we were stuck here forever, how would he take it? Bad or good? Seeing as he had an affinity for debts in the Metro, he might be happy to stay here, but that’s just wild speculation. For now, I was content with recuperating from the strifes of the post-apocalyptic Moscow…

Another two hours later, as the sun was slowly, but decidedly making its sojourn towards the horizon, Applejack called it a day. I emptied the basket and set it down, stretching my arms, sighing as I felt the pops emanate from the joints.
“Oh, that’s better…” I finished stretching and looked at Applejack. She was smiling at me.
“Well, Ah’ll be! You’ve done quite nicely, even if Ah say so ‘myself!” I shrugged.
“I have my moments.”
“Nonetheless, Ah’m rather impressed by your dedication! If only more ponies worked like you do. Well, for now, let’s go an’ get some dinner, hmm?”
“Dinner sounds good.” I nodded and walked at her side, when a curious thought popped into my mind. “Say, why don’t you just collect apples over the entire day? I mean, there’s more daylight left.” She chuckled at that.
“Well, because Granny Smith needs said daylight to sort them apples! Can’t do it overnight, now can she?”
“So, she’s doing it all alone?”
“Yep. Says we distract her and keep messing up. She’s an old hoof at her trade, can sort a basket of apples in a flash. It won’t take her that long to sort this day’s harvest. In the meantime, we can fix up some grub!”
“Ah. I see. Let’s get ourselves cleaned up, then.” She nodded and we went inside the house. I went over to the sink and washed my hands, then had a quick drink of cold, refreshing water. That done, I turned to Applejack.
“So, anything I can help with?”
“Hmm. Well, Ah guess ya could set the table while Ah get the cooking underway.” I nodded and she gestured to a pair of cupboards nearby. “There’s the dishes and suchlike.”
“Cool. I’ll get right on it.” She nodded and turned her attention to the cooker as I strode over to the cupboards in question, picking up several plates, spoons, forks, etcetera, and carried them over to the large table in the middle of the spacious kitchen, placing them in front of the chairs, followed by the cutlery – how did they hold anything without fingers, anyways? They had hooves! – and I stepped back, giving my work a brief once-over, then nodded, satisfied.
“Well, I’ve got the table set.”
“Nice t’know! Oh, that reminds me – could you go into town and get Applebloom and her friends? The school’s going to be over soon and it’d be nice if you could do it, seein’ as Ah’m busy right now.”
“No problem. Applejack.”
“I wager that the food’s going t’be ready when ya return.”
“Cool. I’ll get to it, then.” She nodded and I walked outside, heading towards Ponyville.

Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle scowled at the other two fillies – Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, to be precise.
“Look, you two, if you’ve got nothing sensible to say, then let us go. We’ve got more important things to do than bicker with you.”
“Oh, really? How is being a bla… bluh-bluh-bluh~” Diamond Tiara trailed off, eyes wide as plates as she and Silver Spoon stared at something behind them.
“What? What is it?” Applebloom spoke up, but got no answer as the two bullies galloped away, squealing with terror and she shrugged. “What’s got into them, I wonder? Ah, never mind. At the very least, they ain’t botherin’ us no more. Right, girls?” Her words were met with silence, once more and she groaned in frustration. “What is it with ponies not answering me today…?” She turned to look at her friends, and found them staring at somepony who made her heart jump a little in joy.
“Alyona!”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” I responded to the yellow pony in front of me, while her friends kept staring at, their jaws figuratively scraping across the ground. Applebloom grinned as I ruffled her mane a little.
“Your sister sent me to pick you up from school.”
“Oh, she did? Well, Ah’m glad ya came along when ya did. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon jus’ can’t leave us alone…”
“Really? Why?”
“Well, because we are the only ones of our class still without cutie marks.”
“So, they pick on you just because you’re different?”
“Ayep.” I tsk’d sourly at that.
“Some people need to mature up, it seems…” I looked at the two fillies nearby, jaws still wide open. “They, uh, gonna be alright?”
“Oh, those are my friends – Scootaloo an’ Sweetie Belle!” She pointed at the pegasus and unicorn, respectively. I nodded at them.
“Girls, where’s yer manners? Say hi to Alyona!” Applebloom whispered to them. That seemed to snap them out of their shocked state and they waved meekly to me. I crouched down, bringing myself face to face with them. With the height difference somewhat alleviated, they seemed to turn less nervous and grinned at me, muttering out a weak ‘Hi’.
“Nice to meet you two.” I turned to look at Applebloom. “Well, then. Let’s get going. Food should be ready when we return.”
“Ah.” She nodded and turned to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. “Come on, girls!” Slightly hesitant, the two small ponies nodded and followed me and Applebloom back to the Sweet Apple Acres. On the way to the farm, I told Applebloom's friends about me, where I came from, that sort of stuff - pretty much the same thing I had told to others.

Celestia looked up from her desk and her heart skipped a beat or two – a black, angular, and utterly alien face was eyeing her, its red eyes boring into hers.

Oh... Hello again.
Our time runs short.
Yes, you have said so earlier. I promised I would earn her trust, and I am doing so. But I cannot hurry this process – it could make her suspect something.
I implore you – do what you can. We do not wish to be extinguished like everything else.
And I will, in due time, explain it to her. Maybe even arrange a meeting between you two. Then you can get down to the brass tacks, as the saying goes.
Very well. We will eagerly await for any development of the situation. Do not hesitate to contact us.

The odd being faded away like dust and she sighed, her shoulders slumping a bit.

What have I gotten myself into?

Chapter 9

I chuckled, stepping aside as the three fillies cantered inside the kitchen of Apple family's house and I closed the door behind me. Their excited voices echoed through the corridors as they put their saddlebags down somewhere else and galloped into the living room, eagerly taking their seats. I went over to Applejack, whom was shaking her head at the fillies' excitement.

“Nu tak. That's done. Need help with anything else?”

“Nothin' comes t'my mind, Alyona. Go on an' get seated. Ah'll be right over with the food.” I nodded at that and joined the rest of the Apples in the dining room, curious to see what Applejack had cooked up. Granny Smith trotted inside, smiling at the sight. She chuckled amiably and also took a seat, joining us in the waiting. Eventually, Applejack did show up, carrying a steaming pot with her, which she deposited on a tray in the middle of the table. She quickly trotted off and brought more food - bread, butter, the sort... a real feast. The sight of so much fresh food almost made me drool – most of the food in Metro existed in airtight cans or military-grade MRE packets - bland and tasteless stuff.

This, however... I couldn't wait until we began to eat. Others also muttered their approval, but then turned their attention to Granny Smith – the elderly mare put her hooves together, bowed her head and spoke, closing her eyes – others followed suit and I quickly did the same, feeling like a moron for some reason.

“We thank you, Princesses, fer this bountiful feast. Thank you, Princess Celestia, for ensurin' our crops didn't waste away. Thank you, Princess Luna, for guardin' us from our nightmares and makin' sure we get a good night's sleep. Amen.” Ah, a pre-meal prayer?

“Amen.” Six ponies and a human chorused. With that out of the way, we dug in, speaking little. Well, except for the Crusaders, that is – they tore through their meals with the ferocity of a Demon, and then sat, eagerly waiting for me to finish my meal, expectant smiles on their faces. I smirked a little before resuming to eat, but paused to speak for a moment, knowing full well what they wanted to do.

“Don't you three have homework to do? We can chat later. It's not like I'm going to run off all of a sudden.” They grumbled sullenly at that.

Busted.

Either way, they shuffled off their chairs and carried their dirty dishes to the sink, and then picked their saddlebags, trotting off into the living room to do their homework. After a while, others had also finished their meals. Big Mac volunteered to do the dishes. Applejack and Granny Smith went off to somewhere, leaving me to my own devices.

Ten minutes later found me back in my room, running maintenance on my weapons – I didn't really think I'd get attacked; last time I had fired anything was when Lyra had ambushed me. It was more of a routine thing, really. The old, tried-and-tested AK-74 was lying disassembled on the table as I cleaned its inner workings free of any grime or suchlike that might be there. There wasn't any, of course, but it felt nice to make sure. This rifle had saved my life quite a few times, and the least I could do was make sure it was in a good condition. Humming tunelessly to myself, I began to put the rifle back together, various bolts and pins locking the parts together. With that task accomplished, I racked the bolt a couple of times, squeezing the trigger afterwards. Every time, I was rewarded with a dry click and I nodded, satisfied with my work. I set the weapon aside and packed up the various tools scattered across the table, then sat, not really sure what to do now.

“Alyona?”

I turned to look at Applebloom, who was standing in the doorway, looking at me.

“Yes, Applebloom?”

“Could ya help us with our homework? We're kinda stuck on some of those tasks an' we're getting kinda frustrated by 'em.”

“What're you having problems with?”

“Math.” I cocked an eyebrow at that, chuckling.

“Math is easy, Applebloom.”

“No, it ain't!” The small pony argued. “All those numbers are so confusin'!”

“Nu ladno. I guess I can help you three out. But just that. I'm not going to do your homework for you, okay?” The filly nodded and I followed her to her room, where Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle awaited – they looked positively defeated, the unicorn in particular almost looked like she had a big, glowing K.O. floating above her head. I took a moment to take a look around – the room wasn't exactly big, but was well-lit and tidy, occupied by a bed, table, two chairs, and a locker. The Crusaders' saddlebags were piled on the bed, and their homework was on the floor, surrounded by crumpled sheets. A couple of posters adorned the walls. I looked at the two fillies sprawled despondently on the ground and sat down, giving a slight chuckle. “So, I hear you're having a bit of trouble with your homework.”

“That's putting it lightly.” Sweetie Belle gave a light huff, sitting upright. Scootaloo was scribbling something on a vacant page, her expression distant.

“Well, I might be of some help, in that case. Show me what you’re stumped by.” Sweetie Belle nodded and passed a textbook over to me. I eyed the page they had opened for a couple of moments before looking back at the three ponies.

“Multiplication, eh? Well, I could teach you a trick or two. It’s not like we don’t have any schools back at the Metro.”
It was true – when the nukes fell, there were some educated people that got to safety – teachers, technicians, the like. Stalkers would also recover books from schools on the surface on the occasion. Well, ones that weren’t burned to ash, that is. Or used as toilet paper by lowbrow bandits. Either way, I had some basic education and taught the three of them some tricks that'd be of help, and then left them to it. As I watched them three fillies, I smiled to myself at the sight of their renewed enthusiasm. They might falter on the occasion at their tasks, but the sense of accomplisment would be well worth the effort in the end. Like saving up enough MGRs to swap your Bastard out for a Kalash, or something along those lines. Their spirits lifted, they more or less breezed through their homework.

“See? Once you get the hang of it, math isn't that hard at all.” I sat up as the three small ponies packed their school things up, smiling widely as I spoke. “Well, I guess you've earned a little reward. Come on, you three.” I sat up and went to my bedroom, the Crusaders eagerly trotting behind me.

Once there, I knelt down at my backpack, and rummaged through it, pulling a couple of items out, laying them down on the bed – my gasmask, night-vision goggles, flashlight, and the battery charger. Sweetie Belle was the first to speak, pointing a hoof at the NV goggles.

“What's that for?”

“These are night-vision goggles. They let you see better in the dark. Want to try them out?”

Her answer was an unpony-like squeak and vigorous nodding. I chuckled to myself and carefully placed them on the young unicorn's face, adjusting the straps as I adressed Scootaloo. “Could you close the curtains, please?”

“Can do!” The orange pegasus cantered over to the window and pulled the two curtains shut, drastically darkening the room, and I closed the door, turning the room even darker. I plugged the goggles up to the charger and heard Sweetie let out a gasp of surprise as I turned the goggles on.

“Oh, wow! I can see all of you!” Well, that was expected. I could barely see my own hands, however. I swapped the goggles around, letting all three Crusaders see how they worked. I did the same with the rest of my equipment – Scootaloo did some spelunking below my bed, aided by the flashlight strapped to her head, and Applebloom made rather impressive noises with the gas mask muffling her voice.

In the end, I pulled out my music player, deciding to give the girls a last surprise. The small device's scuffed, time-worn screen lit up, and I scrolled through the long list of songs, eventually settling on one. A moment passed before the song started, and a tinny voice poured from the small speaker.

A little less conversation, a little more action, please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me, baby

I smirked slightly as they cocked their heads sideways as one, curiosity taking hold as the song continued. A couple of moments passed and Scootaloo began to nod in rhythm, humming in tune, followed by me. The words were easy to learn, and soon, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom joined in as well.

Baby close your eyes and listen to the music
Drifting through a summer breeze
It's a groovy night and I can show you how to use it
Come along with me and put your mind at ease

My legs seemed to acquire a mind of their own and soon, the four of us kind of pranced through the upper floor rooms, singing as we did so.

A little less conversation, a little more action, please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

And so it went on as I let go of my concerns, instead of simply shoving them to the back of my head. The three fillies trailing after me also seemed to be having the time of their lives.

And then I reached the stairs, and took a wrong step. You can probably guess what happened next.

Come on, baby, I'm tired of aAEEHG-

Down the stairs I went, followed by three adolescent ponies, who landed on top of me, knocking me senseless for a moment. The music player clattered across the floor, still playing.

...come on, come on
Come on, come on
Don't procrastinate, don't articulate
Girl it's getting late, getting' upset waitin' around...

Applejack looked at the tangled mess of limbs that was me and the Crusaders, her jaw hanging open in surprise. A couple of moments passed and she started to snicker quietly.

“So, what've you four been gettin' up to, hmm?”

“Oh, you know. This and that.” I replied as non-chalantly as possible, and that did it for the orange farmpony, who toppled over, laughing. I already could feel bruises forming across my body.

“Ack~” I eloquently continued as the three adolescent ponies rolled off my back, and Applejack's laughter doubled. A new voice joined in, gravelly and rough.

“Hello to you too, Alyona.” I pulled myself to my feet, and looked at Bourbon, who stood near the table.

“Bourbon!”

“That's my name, don't wear it out. Been keeping busy, I see.” I could only nod at that.

“You're looking good. All patched up, I presume?”

“Da. I have to tell you, I'm feeling better than I've felt in years!” He cracked an uncharacteristic smile and I chuckled, sitting down more comfortably.

“Nice to know, man.”

“Oh, before I forget...” He rummaged through his pockets and withdrew a couple of golden tickets. “The Princess dropped by when I was signed out from the hospital. Says some sort of party's taking place in a week or so in that big, fancy castle of hers. We're both invited, apparently.”

Somewhere else, Pinkie Pie paused in whatever she was doing, and looked around thoughtfully. “Oh, somepony's pulling the cliché invited-to-the-Gala scene...” With a hum, she resumed her task, whatever that may be.

Applejack smiled at the news. “Well, tha's great t'know! Guess we'll be seein' ya there, huh? Oh, Ah should warn ya b'forehand, though – there is one requirement f'r the Gala.”

I turned to look at the farmpony, cocking an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Y'all are gonna need some formalwear!” She exclaimed, mostly at Bourbon, who was anything but sophisticated. True enough, he baulked in shock, while I gasped in surprise.

“I get to wear a dress?” I exclaimed, all but bouncing up and down, making Bourbon groan in defeat.

“Chyort.”

Author's Note

Holy crap do I need to get my shit together.

Either way, this story is coming to a close. Two or three more chapters after this one, and that's that.

Chapter 10

I like dresses.

Yeah, go ahead, laugh it up – the big, tough Stalker likes girly stuff. Well, guess what. I am a girl, and even the Metro and Surface couldn't take away that one childhood dream of mine – to own a dress. Or, failing that, get to wear one for a while.

So I hope you'll understand why I was so excited to knock on the door of Carousel Boutique. Bourbon was less than enthusiastic, however. Then again, that was to be expected from that pessimist. Prepare and expect the worst, he always said.

In hindsight, I guess he was right. Rarity freaked once she saw his timeworn clothes – she freaked worse than she did when meeting me. And, as you can imagine, she chased him with needles and a measuring tape, and he was running around, spouting profanities. Sweetie Belle and I were trying to stop Rarity. Eventually, we did, with the help of manic cookware that had its second taste of pony blood.

Bourbon collapsed in the chair with a tired sigh as I deposited the unconscious unicorn on a free couch.

“Sweetie Belle, could you find me some ice or something? Your sister's going to have one hell of a headache once she wakes up.” The filly nodded and cantered off, while Bourbon regained his breath.

“Chyort poberi... She's only half as tall as me. How did Miss Squiggletail keep up with me?”

“Hell if I know, man. Same thing happened to me a short while ago. She looked like she'd just suffered aneurysm once she saw my clothes. Turned my arm into a damn pincushion before I managed to clock her with that same pan.”

“This place is fucking insane, Alyona.” That drew a chuckle out of me.

“Depends on one's point of view, but yeah. I get what you mean. Those faint of heart or serious of temperament will not fare well here.” The clip-clop of hooves marked Sweetie's return. She passed the ice-pack to me, and I placed it on top of the bruise forming on top of Rarity's head. “Sorry about this mess, Sweetie.”

“It's alright. It's not the first time she's gone loopy over 'treason against fashion'.” She air-quoted the last three words, making us chuckle. “So, what're you here for?”

“We got invited to the Gala, and, seeing as one needs a dress to attend the Gala, we decided to visit your sister for some formal apparel.”

“Ooooh, you got invited to the Gala?” The unicorn filly exclaimed. “Awesome! Rarity's going to be so excited to know that.”

“Can we expect her to react like this again, kid?” Bourbon groused, shooting Rarity a suspicious look.

“Well, I guess we'll find out when she wakes up, now won't we?” Sweetie Belle chuckled, prompting another groan from Bourbon.

Rarity took the news well. That is, if one's meaning of well equals going starry-eyed for the best part of ten minutes. She went on about Canterlot and its splendour and such, and how the highest of the high resided there. Eventually, she did take Bourbon's measurements, and gave me the clothes she'd taken my measurements for a couple of days ago. After declining any sort of payment from us – she claimed us wearing apparel designed by her was reward enough – we were off once more, with me showing my friend around Ponyville, deciding to take him to Sugarcube Corner and introduce him to Pinkie Pie, just for the heck of it. It would most definitely be hilarious watching him freak once the hyperactive pony popped out from nowhere.

I sat quietly on a chair, having just tasted the sour, sour taste of humble pie. Bourbon and Pinkie were at full steam in the kitchen, cooking something that smelled undeniably delicious. A small, time-worn book sat open on a counter, its age-yellowed pages covered in Cyrillic as Bourbon rattled off the instructions to Pinkie Pie before resuming a story of his.

“...after the bombs fell, me and my grandma took shelter in the Metro, twenty years ago. My parents, well... they didn't make it. But my babushka took care of me. She was an incredible cooker, and wrote down every recipe she knew in that book of hers. It's about the only thing I've got of hers, bless her soul. My fortunes may change at a moment's notice, but I've never even entertained the thought of parting with this here recipe book. Some things just aren't meant to be sold, you know what I'm saying?”

“Absotively, posilutely!” The pink mare chirped, depositing some more cooking ingredients on a vacant table. The noise would lead one to believe they were cooking up a hell in the kitchen. It would be, however, a very tasty hell, judging by the smell.

This was not a side of Bourbon I'd ever witnessed. I was honestly at a loss for words, or thoughts, even. I could just sit there and stare silently as the normally-gruff man bantered easily with the chipper pink pony. I didn't mind, honestly. It was better than him trying to pilfer anything of value to sell it somewhere else later on.

Not that I had any experience with that, mind you.

The bullet marks on my left thigh from a Hanza guard's Kalash also most certainly did not exist.

Ahem.

Aaannnyyywaays... Bourbon looked like he was enjoying himself, so I felt content to sit there and watch my friend relax and enjoy himself in what must've been the first time in years.

It did not make the humble pie taste any better, though.

I guess it was for the better – his close brush with death wouldn't have had a good impact on his mood, and cooking with Pinkie Pie had taken a load off his shoulders; there was a slight bounce in his step, he wasn't slouching as much, and seemed much cheerier in general, his smile no longer slightly sarcastic.

“You know I'm not going to let you forget this, right, Bourbon?”

“At this moment, I couldn't care less, Alyona.” He gave a low chuckle, hands in his pockets as we walked through the sunlit streets of Ponyville. “I'm not in danger, I actually feel happy for once, and the weather is perfect. What more could I ask for?”

“Yeah, it's definitely a step up from nosalises and whatnot, right?”

“I hear that.” He chuckled again.

A couple of days later

Rarity let out a delighted squee as I left the changing room, clad in a dark blue dress and holy hell did it feel heavenly to have it touch my skin – it was an otherwordly experience to someone who's worn patchwork clothes for most of her life. The unicorn fashionista had also procured a pair of high-heels for me. How, I didn't ask. I didn't feel like questioning this world's logic. Headache tended to follow.

“Oh, you look simply marvelous, darling!” She chuckled happily, but then her smile lessened slightly as her eyes briefly danced over to the scars that weren't covered by the fabric of my dress – the Demon-inflicted scar on my left shin, lacerations on my right shoulder, left by a grenade tossed by a particularly keen-eyed bandit. Giving a slight smile in return, I took a moment to examine myself in a nearby mirror – the dress was a perfect fit, and I loved it, although that may have been my fondness of dresses speaking. I spotted someone in the mirror and turned around to look, and my heart did a double-take.

It was Bourbon, but he no longer wore his old clothes, instead looking incredibly resplendent in a black tuxedo. His hair was neat and combed, although I suspected he'd gelled it up. A faint smell wafting from him indicated he'd even used some cologne. All in all, it took me a moment or two to recognize him. I honestly can say I'd never seen him so clean and gentlemanly ever before.

“How do I look, Alyona?” I blinked twice, shaking myself back to reality.

“You look great, man!” He snickered at that, brushing off an imaginary mote of dust from his shoulder.

“Well, that's good to know. If what Squ-er, Rarity says is true, we'll have to look good to impress the nobility.” The unicorn nodded, grinning brightly.

“Indeed! Me and the rest of the girls also shall be accompanying you to the Gala, so if there's anything you need to know about, you can just ask us. This'll be our second Gala, and I honestly do hope it goes better than the year before.”

“What happened?” She rolled her eyes dramatically at his question.

“Oh, nothing short of an utter disaster. Suffice to say, our preconceptions of the Gala were very different from what it actually was.” She grumbled to herself before perking back up. “Either way, give me a couple of moments to get my dress on, and then we can go to the train station to meet others.”

“Works for me.” I shrugged, giving myself a last once-over before sitting down, still slightly shell-shocked at Bourbon's pristine appearance. Apparently, he noticed that and laughed again.

“You should've seen your face, Alyona. You looked like you needed to scrape your jaw off the floor.” I grumbled at that.

“Yes, yes, you caught me off-guard with your dashing, manly looks.” I snarked back at him. “You've really changed, man. Thought you'd be all grumpy and shit no matter what.”

“Alyona, this place is nothing like the Metro. I don't have to worry about dying or trying to survive until the next day. The air here is breathable, there's aplenty of fresh food and water, and no one here has to worry about Nazis, Reds, or bandits, or anything else that may intend to gnaw their faces off.”

I felt inclined to agree, honestly. This world definitely was much more welcoming than Moscow or the Metro tunnels, always eager to claim lives of the unwary. Living in Equestria had mellowed us both out. No longer did I regard a pony greeting me with suspicion, and neither did I tense up and grope at my waist for a gun that wasn't there when someone approached me. Of course, I could've argued with Bourbon over it, but I didn't feel like it, honestly, so we just sat there in companionable silence as we waited for Rarity. A couple of minutes later, she reappeared, wearing an ensemble that easily revealed why she was such a sought-after clothes designer – she'd definitely gone all-out with her dress, no doubt.

Letting out a delighted laugh, she beckoned for us to follow. “Let's go! The Gala awaits us!” We nodded and followed her out of the Boutique, heading to the train station as day gave way to night.

I had seen Canterlot several times from the distance, hanging from the side of the mountain as a big middle finger to Isaac Newton, who may as well be turning over in his grave right now. But to behold the city as our train pulled into was an entirely another matter. The sight of the massive arches and buttresses hewn from the cliffside, shaped into impressive supports by craftsmen, er, craftsponies was impressive in its own worth as the locomotive trundled along the rails on our approach to Canterlot. Seeing the resplendent capital of Equestria up close was another matter entirely. It could easily measure up to the once-grand cities of Earth, magnificent as it was in its marble glory. The setting sun cast a golden glow across Canterlot as its lights winked into life to ward off the darkness – all in all, the seat of power of Equestria was quite something to behold, a testament to the prowess of those who built it.

Clouds of steam rolled around us as we disembarked, two humans, six ponies, and an adolescent dragon in total. Two jaws were hanging open.

Holy shit, this place was amazing! I had seen many pre-war photos of the great Earth cities – New York, St. Petersburg, Cairo, Los Angeles – the great, sprawling metropolises of steel and concrete, each and every one of them bursting at seams with history and art. I had seen Polis, the vast Metro station watched over by its Rangers, providing one with a sense of seldom-felt security. But Canterlot had a wholly different quality to it – the very air felt ancient, stately and majestic. The whole place seemed like something out of Ancient Rome, what with all the marble.

Twilight looked at me and Bourbon, chuckling at our shocked-slash-awed expressions. “I know, I know, it's quite a sight. When I first saw Canterlot, I felt the same way. If you're enjoying this, wait 'til you see the Royal Castle! Come on!” She beckoned for us to follow, and we did as asked.

There was more? To an old world nut like me, this was a dream come true and I trailed after our group, eager to reach our destination.

As it turned out, however, the Gala was the smallest of surprises fate had in store for me that day...

Author's Note

This is what happens when I write after playing Dark Souls II.

Chapter 11

I was momentarily blinded as the great, gilded castle doors swung open. The noise overwhelmed me for a moment but I quickly accustomed to the new atmosphere, but still! The ceiling must've been at least fifty meters high, supported by thick marble columns inlaid with gold filigree that presented some event in Equestria's past, I guess. The floor and walls were made of the same stone, the polished surfaces shining in the light of the lanterns hanging from the buttresses. Large stained glass windows glittered dully in the low moonlight, thus I was unable to tell what was depicted there. It was like something of pre-war photos of Earth, except real! I know, I know, those words don't make sense, but I was simply awestruck – everything here spoke of wealth and prosperity. It was as if I'd stepped into a whole another century. Bourbon was similarly awed, his head on a swivel as he looked around.

“Bozhe moy... Kinda like out of those photos of St. Petersburg castle, right, Alyona?”

“Da.” I could only nod dumbly as we walked along. Eventually, we were greeted by none other than Celestia herself.

“Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala! I hope you got here without any trouble?”

“That we did. Travelling with national heroes speeds things up, I have to say.” I responded, giving a slight bow to her as others followed suit, even Bourbon. The alabaster alicorn smiled warmly at us before gesturing to the rest of the hall.

“Please, do enjoy yourselves, but stay around after the Gala. I would very much like to know what you all have been up to since we last met.” I nodded and we dispersed through the hall, doing whatever. Bourbon sauntered off to sample the drinks, while I kind of wandered around, properly taking in the sights. A short while later, my stomach made its needs known and I decided to get something to eat. And there was so much food to choose from. Then again, considering how big this party was, it wasn't that big of a surprise – there were cakes, puddings, fondues, salads, foodstuffs of every kind imaginable, and the smells left me drooling.

And then, my conscience decided to make itself known – here I was, safe and sound, living a life of luxury, yet how many people were living by the skin of their teeth back in Metro? Honestly, it left me feeling like an asshole. But there was little I could do about it, really. Thus, even with my mood somewhat dampened, I chose to sample what was available on the table. The cuisine did not disappoint me, though the foods with hay or flowers in them were left alone. To a pony they would've been delicious, but to a human like yours truly... not so much.

Nonetheless, what I did eat was simply delicious, even though there was no meat. Then again, that would've been really messed up, considering. It took the better part of an hour until I no longer felt the need to eat, but by then, I'd found something else to entertain myself with – the orchestra began some sort of a slow, waltzy piece. Quickly, the guests divided into pairs and began to mill about and...

And...

Was Bourbon dancing with Rarity?

He was, indeed, with the fashionista standing up in a two-legged pose, but it worked, somehow. Neither of them were bad at it, too.

Well, now. Turns out Bourbon was a man of many talents, then.

It was about then that my brain decided it'd witnessed just about enough weird shit. Grabbing a bottle of wine from a nearby waiter, I wandered off.

A third of the bottle and half an hour later found me surveying the landscape from a balcony. It was a really nice sight. Even though I only saw the glittering lights of Canterlot far below the castle, I was more drawn to the sky – the stars twinkling in the vast, abyssal expanse of space were what really drew my attention. Here's the thing – these days, few people knew what sky looked like, and combined with the fact that it was mostly concealed from sight by a constant cloud cover, you'd have to be a really lucky Stalker or such to even see a glimpse of it. As fate would have it, I was among those lucky few – I'd caught a short glimpse of night sky back at Moscow, but this was different, a sky whose stars weren't obscured in any way. It was a breath-taking sight, to see something that was akin to a myth back on Earth...

Letting out a soft sigh, I took another sip of wine, feeling a slight buzz coming on – drinking 'shroom vodka kind of helps one develop a resistance to alcohol. My mood rather upbeat, I hummed to myself as my eyes wandered across the sky.

We're the last descendants
In the line of valiant soldiers
We're the mistreated angels
We're the blackbird nation
We're the chosen ones...

Those were just about the only words I knew of that song, and proceeded to hum wordlessly to myself, enjoying the solitude, the view, and the bottle of a great wine.

*ahem*

I turned to look at whoever had found me, and saw someone who could only be Celestia's sister, Luna. Well, the description Twilight'd provided me with matched.

“Hello. You must be Alyona.” Luna spoke, her voice calm and measured.

“Da. And you must be Luna.” The midnight blue alicorn smiled wanly and nodded.

“Indeed I am, and I regret that I only get to meet you now. Whatever are you doing out here on your own?”

“Oh, the party, although very nice, got kind of stuffy, so I came out to cool down a bit, gather my thoughts. Oh, and enjoy the view while I'm at it, too.” Luna let out a small hum at that, gazing across Canterlot.

“Yes, it is a fine city, is it not?”

“That, too, but I was referring to the sky.” That threw her for a loop and she looked at me surprisedly.

“Really?”

“Mhm.” I made to sit down, but Luna was faster, conjuring a pair of cushions, sliding one below my rear. “Thanks. So, before the war, people back on Earth would always be fascinated with space. They'd look up to the stars and say 'I want to know what's up there.' Hell, about sixty or so years ago, they even managed to send a couple of people to the Moon.” Luna's eyes widened in surprise at that and her jaw all but hit the floor. I chuckled for a moment before speaking again. “I guess Celestia told you about what's my world like now, right?”

She nodded.

“Right. Well, these days we have to fight every day to survive. Outlying stations don't last long and are either taken by bandits, Reds, Nazis, or overrun by the monsters. It's not a happy world back there.” I sighed dourly to myself before continuing. “One night, I was hurrying back to a service tunnel that'd get me back underground, having scavenged a pretty nice stockpile of goods. And then, I looked up for a moment to check if I was still on track. And that's when I saw it – some of the clouds had cleared out, letting me see a bit of the night sky, stars and all. With so few people in the Metro actually having seen the sky, I felt pretty damn lucky to have done so as well. And it felt nice, to know that even with all the dangers of the world, there were still some good and beautiful things left, you know?” The midnight-blue alicorn smiled at that, nodding.

“I do know what you mean, Alyona. And it's a nice surprise to know that you appreciate the night. Ponies seldom do.”

“Well, then they need to get their heads checked.” I chuckled before passing her the wine bottle. “Here, have a drink.” She smiled before taking a sip from the bottle.

“So, what can you tell me about yourself?” I took a sip as well before answering.

“Well, there isn't much to tell, but sure. I'm twenty-four years old. I was born... shit, four years before the nukes fell, year 2009. I was the only one of my family to get in the Metro. Stayed in an orphanage 'til I was sixteen, then had to leave.” I sighed as memories of those years returned. “Had to scrape by the skin of my teeth to survive. Saved up enough for a gun and bullets, then did courier and guard work, did whatever I had to so I could stay fed and clothed.”

“That sounds horrible.” Luna spoke, a look on sympathy on her face.

“Looking back, yeah, it does. But it was either that or die. Life is pretty damn unforgiving in the Metro But I survived. Took to a Stalker's trade pretty quickly, and it went only upwards from there. The supplies I recovered from the surface are vital to the survival of the Metro as a whole – munitions, medicine, books, non-perishable foods, fuel... Ours is an important task.”

“That sounds dangerous, to live in a world that isn't hospitable.”

“That's putting it lightly, but yeah. It's very dangerous. You get attacked by something on the Surface, only one of you is walking away alive from that fight – the animals can't afford to walk away without food, and I don't want to become Watcher chow – they're these howling things that can be a real pain in the ass.” I took another gulp of the wine, and Luna followed suit. “Anyways, I needed to find Bourbon and found out he'd left Riga station some time ago. I tracked him to the best of my abilities all the way to Sukharevskaya – Dry Station – where I found him shot and well on his way to six feet under. Then an anomaly zaps us, and we end up here – the rest is history.”

“True enough.” Luna nodded, smiling before raising the bottle. “Now, this here bottle needs to be emptied. Shall we?”

“Oh, by all means!” I laughed as I took a sip and it only went downhill from there...

I found out a couple of things about Luna that night – one of them was that she was a lightweight. A terrifyingly light lightweight. Well, I wasn't all that sober myself. Ponies know how to brew strong booze, I'll give 'em that. We must've been quite a sight to the guards stationed in the hallways – me feeding one of their princesses with a bottle of wine. It would become one of the memories that would cause me to headdesk immediately.

Next morning found me somewhere dark, warm, soft and incredibly comfortable. I was also curled up to said something comfortable, and I also seemed to be naked.

Kinda breezy this morning.

Oh, also, hangover from nowhere. Urkj~

Suppressing a groan, I shuffled out from what I suspected to be the blanket and tiredly inched my way towards the edge of the bed. Even though I was sleepy, hungover, kind of sore and fatigued, I also felt pretty damn content, as if some big weight had been removed from my back. Sighing softly, I turned to look at the bedsheets in an attempt to find some of my underwear. I found my underpants first.

HANGING FROM LUNA'S GOD-FRICKING-DAMNED HORN.

The last night's deeds came rushing back to me and, in that moment, I realised just how fucked I was.

Not in that way, even though that did happen, apparently.

I'd done the horizontal monster mash. With the sister of the one pony who could control the sun itself and could, I imagine, turn me into a heap of ashes with nary a thought. So, yeah. I kind of panicked and tried to sneak out. Quietly as I could, I snatched up my underwear and donned it. Turning away from the slumbering alicorn, I took a st-shlickt.

I froze and turned to look at the source of the noise – one of Luna's horseshoe thingies. The pointy end of it had gone right through my foot.

Celestia sipped from her teacup as she unfolded the newspaper, humming as she read it. The breakfast table was set, and she waited for the rest of her guests – namely the Element Bearers and Bourbon - to show up. They'd gladly accepted her offer to stay over in the castle for the night, which made her glad – she'd been able to exchange few words with them, considering how busy the Gala had been. She'd been happy to find out Luna had decided to be friends with Alyona. The younger alicorn had been initially suspicious of the human when Celestia had told about her. With a bit of luck, she'd overcome those suspicions and become steadfast friends with Alyona.

YYYYYYIIIIIIEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH~

A tea-sodden newspaper dropped onto the table as the alabaster mare sat upright in alert. Her horn lit up as she traced the scream back to its source – Luna's bedroom. Worried and curious, she teleported to the room, where she was witness to a sight that left her wondering whether her tea had gone bad.

Alyona was sitting on the floor, all but naked save for her underwear, trying to stem the blood flowing from her foot, while a silver horseshoe lay nearby, covered in blood. Luna was rubbing a bruise on her head, trying to extricate herself from the bedsheets she'd gotten tangled herself in.

“Um... did I, er, interrupt something?” Two heads turned to face the alabaster alicorn.

“Chyort poberi... Bourbon's not going to let me live this one down, the mudak...” With that, Alyona passed out, collapsing on the floor.

Celestia blinked in wordless surprise for a moment before looking at Luna. Despite the situation, she couldn't help but tease her sister a bit. “Wild night, huh?”

“Myergh~”

Author's Note

Chapter 12

“Alyona-”

“Bourbon. Don't. I'm not in the mood for this.”

“But-”

“I will beat you into a coma with a chair if you don't screw off.”

“Big words for a woman drunk off her ass. I'm betting that hangover is hitting you pretty badly right now.”

“Rrrrrruuuuuu~”

“Bourbon, I would like to have a word with her. In private.”

“Okay, princess.”

The footsteps receded, followed by the sound of a door being closed. Then, I heard the clip-clop of hooves as a certain white somepony trotted over to my side, where poor, unfortunate me was lying face-down in a bed. My right foot was wrapped in bandages and soaked with some sort of healing potion. But that wasn't really the point.

The point was that I was alone in the same room with probably a thousand pounds of pony who had a pig-sticker for a horn. And I'd bedded her sister. Or her sister bedded me.

Irrelevant, in any case.

“Grrrhk. Just make it less painful than this hangover, princess.”

“What? No, you've misunderstood the situation. I'm not angry with you in any way, Alyona. Merely surprised.”

“Yes, well, when you're drunk, you do stupid things. Sleeping with your sister was definitely not on my agenda when I came to the castle.”

“It may be a surprise to you, but me and my sister also are ponies, and we also have needs.”

“Please don't tell me that means you want to have your way with me, too.” I groaned beleagueredly, fighting back the urge to vomit.

“W-what? No! I just want to tell you that speaking to Luna about this would be prudent. It'd be unwise to simply attempt to forget about what happened last night.”

“I wasn't planning on trying to bury this. I will talk to her once this fucking hangover ends.” Soon as I'd said that, an odd wave of coldness rushed through me. With a noise that could be best described as 'squick', the hangover vanished.

“Luna will be along shortly. Once you've hashed things out with her, so to speak, please come and see me afterwards. I have something to tell you that you'll definitely want to hear. Just ask one of the guards outside and they'll lead you to my chambers.”

“Okay. Can do.” With that, the hoofsteps retreated as Celestia left the room. A moment later, the door opened again, letting in another pony as I slowly sat up, tidying my hair a little as I did so.

“Are... are you alright, Alyona?” Luna's quiet, cautious voice reached my ears.

“I think I'll be fine. Just... bedding royalty isn't how I saw the Gala working out for me yesterday.” She let out a nervous chuckle at that.

“My sentiments exactly.” She scuffed her hoof on the carpet quietly for a moment. “So, er... Where do we exactly stand now?”

“I've no idea, honestly. I would attribute yesterday's events to alcohol, but honestly... I kinda enjoyed it.” I smirked for a moment as I stood up, looking at the alicorn. “Imagine the look on others' faces when I tell them my first time was with a freaking mythological creature.”

“Oh. That'd explain the stains on the bedsheets.” Luna hummed thoughtfully. “The question still remains, however.”

“Well, um... I'm not exactly relationship material, just so you know. Pretty much my entire life has been risking my well-being for the Metro's well-being. But I am kinda curious, now – curious enough to consider it.”

“One step at a time, then?” Luna chuckled softly.

“One step at a time. It'd suck if one of us messed something up in the future and we'd hate each other until kingdom come. But we can hash out the details later.”

“We're agreed, then.”

“Da.”

I had a couple of ideas about what Celestia wanted to talk to me about – either we were stranded in Equestria, or she'd found a way back to Earth.

As it turned out, she had the latter to offer to me and Bourbon.

The good news, however, didn't help prevent a borderline heart attack that I suffered when I saw the means of returning to Earth.

A goddamned Dark One that materialised from nowhere.

Immediately, I grabbed for the gun that wasn't there. Wide-eyed, I turned to look at Celestia, whom began to explain the why and how of things.

“Alyona, please remain calm. He is not an enemy, and neither is his kind. In fact, he has come asking for help. If you are willing to listen, I will explain what I was told.”

My eyes never leaving the immobile mutant, I nodded once and the alicorn began to speak. And, well... it was one of the most far-fetched tales I'd ever heard – that the Dark Ones wanted to co-exist with the inhabitants of Metro. Due to their mutations, they were able to live on the Surface, but were left unable to use any pre-war technology or devices still intact. Oh, and get this – Artyom, the kid Bourbon had tagged along with before? He was responsible for letting the Dark Ones into the Metro, after travelling to the Botanical Gardens' station as a kid with two friends. He, according to the Dark One's testimony, had opened the hermetic door sealing the entrance, been attacked by Howlers and saved by several Dark Ones, who'd chosen him as some sort of ambassador between humans and their kind.

And now, as he was travelling to Ostankino Tower to aid the Rangers in launching a number of nukes against the Dark Ones' home, they'd tried to show their pacifistic intentions through a number of visions, even going so far as aiding and protecting him on his journey. Unfortunately, he remained undeterred, though I could understand his motivation – the mere presence of a Dark One was enough to drive the average man insane with fear, which was why so many of Exhibition station's defenders had died. Thus, they had turned to less than conventional means to call for aid. Through means Celestia tried unsuccessfully to explain – several times, might I add – the Dark Ones had devised this plan.

“Ask yourself, Alyona – what would you do in the Dark Ones' place? Would you not endeavour to secure peace between your people and theirs? Artyom does not seem to be willing to listen to the Dark Ones' pleas – you must convince him to spare them. The Dark Ones aren't evil.”

If there ever was a situation that 'food for thought' was meant for, it was this one. I could feel both Celestia and the Dark One eyeing me silently. A long, tense minute later, however, they received an answer, though I felt that I would regret it in the future.

“Fine. Tell me what to do.”

“We will return you and Bourbon to Moscow, but you will have to hurry – time is of the essence.”

“We won't be able to rush through the Surface like you want us to – we'd draw too much attention from the wildlife and we'd get bogged down fighting the bastards off.”

“That's why Luna will be accompanying you.”

“I'm sorry, what? I think I just heard you say-”

“She is well-versed in the arts of war and will be of immense aid to you, even if you draw undue attention.”

“Princess, can we go back to the part where you intend to send your sister into a desolate, toxic wasteland that she barely knows about?”

“She most assuredly can take care of herself. Besides, I believe the two of you have some things to talk about.”

“Yes, we agreed to resolve it later, but still! Do you have any idea how dangerous Moscow is?”

At that, she turned quite serious. “I do. The Dark One here has confirmed what you told me. I could form a unit of the Royal Guard, but that'd take more time, not to take in the logistics in equation. With Luna, you gain a considerable force multiplier, and she can take you above areas that cannot otherwise be traversed, if teleportation is out of question. She is also well-versed in sword combat. Besides, I think it'll be a good bonding experience for you two.” She smirked innocently at that. I swear, she was doing that on purpose. At that point, I pretty much gave up.

“Ladno. But if she comes home in a bloodied bodybag, don't blame me, because I freakin' warned you.”

“I doubt that any harm will come to you with Luna accompanying you.”

“Well, how is she going to keep herself safe from the toxic air? Bet you didn't think about that.”

At that, she smirked, clacking her forehooves together before spreading them apart, a rainbow bridging the gap between them. “Magic.”

I wish I could say I didn't storm out like a petulant child.

But that'd be a lie.

Bourbon chuckled as he slapped the mag back in its place in his Kalash. “You know, Alyona, I never saw myself doing anything like this. Guess it'll be a tale for the ages, huh?”

“Guess so.” I responded as we went over our inventory. “I just hope we live long enough to hear said tale.”

The door to the room opened and we turned to look at Luna, who arrived wearing a simple black cloak, and a longsword in a holster strapped to her right side. “Well, I'm ready. How about you two?”

“Just about finished, princess.” Bourbon responded, packing up several odds and ends in his backpack before putting it on. “Let's be quick about it, though. These clothes are made to keep me warm, not cool. Before long, I'll be sweating like a pig.”

“So, uh, you're just taking a cape and a sword with you?” I asked the alicorn, to which she chuckled in return.

“I have spent a millennia on the moon during my banishment, without air or warmth. I dare say that your Moscow will be a mere nuisance in comparison, bloodthirsty animals or not. And before you ask, I am accompanying you of my own volition.”

“Then what's your angle, Luna?” I turned to face the alicorn.

“I know how it feels to be feared and misunderstood, and thus shunned for that. Before my fall as Nightmare Moon, ponies didn't trust me, despite the fact that I kept them safe from nightmares. I could tell you more, but that would have to wait until later. Time is of the essence.” We nodded and scooped up the last of our odds and ends, shoving them haphazardly in our backpacks before following the alicorn back to Celestia's quarters.

Well, Luna teleported us to there and Bourbon ended up running face-first into a wall as a result. Celestia was waiting for us, as was the Dark One. It still managed to creep me out by just standing there, doing nothing but staring at me.

“Are you ready to return to Moscow, then?” The alabaster alicorn asked.

Bourbon and I nodded, and Celestia turned to look at Luna, but her sister answered before she had the chance to ask anything.

“I am still determined to follow them, sister. Have faith in us. We will accomplish this.” Celestia nodded faintly at that, and turned to look at the Dark One, her horn lighting up as it sent out a pulsing orb of magic towards the mutant. The Dark One reached out, somehow... manipulating the magic Celestia was emanating. The orb grew darker and, well... edgier, I guess is a word for it. Seeing the mutant perform such an act was the very definition of unsettling. It soon resolved into a fuzzy view that I'd recognize in the dead of night – Moscow.

Bone-gnawing chill began to creep from the portal, causing both me and Bourbon to put our gasmasks on. And just in time, too, as cold winds began to hatefully howl through the opening, snowflakes whirling about. Without hesitation, the three of us went through, into the eternal gloom of Moscow.

The next couple of hours would be forever remembered in history.

But you'll have to wait until the next chapter.

Because the author is a lazy and unimaginative slob.

How old are you, some kinda starfish?

Chapter 13

Luna choked on the poisonous air for a moment before her horn flashed once and she calmed down. Guess her magic worked like a charm.

Heh, charm.

Wide-eyed, the alicorn looked around, taking in the breadth of desolation and destruction that was post-war Moscow.

Home, sweet home.

“Okay, here's what we'll do. Luna, take this.” I pulled out my spare flashlight. “Get somewhere up higher, and flash this signal.” I flicked the flashlight on and drew three circles in the air with it. “Tell me if you see it being repeated anywhere, okay?” Luna nodded as she took the flashlight – with a flap of her wings, she was up in air, heading for a nearby ruin.

“Really think we'll find anyone out at this time, Alyona?”

“It's worth a try, Bourbon. And while Luna's out of hearing range, I'd like to know why you're throwing your two rounds in with this escapade.” The man grew silent, his features unreadable behind his gasmask. A moment passed before he answered.

“Well, seeing as the Dark Ones are responsible for transit between Equestria and Earth, without their help I can't go back to have a big bake-off with Miss Pie.”

That got a smile out of me and I nudged him in the shoulder, chuckling meaningfully. “Oooh, looks like someone's got your heart~”

“Look who's talking.” My smile vanished just as quickly when I heard Luna behind us. “Besides, he's made it clear that his preferences are different from yours, Alyona.”

“Shutting up now.” I murmured defeatedly, and the two asshats laughed.

“I received a return signal. It came from over there.” The alicorn pointed a hoof at a distant dilapidated building. “I guess we are headed there?”

“Da. If we're going to make it to Ostankino, we'll likely need more than just the three of us, alicorn princesses or not. Hopefully the Stalkers you just signalled are able to join us for the time being. And, uh, you'll need to stay invisible until we get to Ostankino. People around here have a tendency to shoot anything that has more than two legs. Just keep close, but silent. Can you do that?”

She almost looked hurt for a moment before snickering. “Alyona, you are talking to the princess of the night. Stealth is my domain, after all.” Her horn glowed brightly, there was a puff of shadowy smoke and Luna was gone, though her smarmy voice still reached my ears. “Well, then. Shall we proceed?”

“You the guys who signalled us earlier?” I froze as I heard a gruff, muffled voice address me. Slowly, making sure my hands were visible, I turned to face the well-camouflaged Stalker to my right. Bourbon followed suit, neither of us willing to do anything to prompt him to gun us down with his VSV.

“Yeah. Not looking for trouble, man. Just want to talk, Stalker to a Stalker.” He relaxed slightly at that, lowering the sniper rifle.

“Well, okay then. Your pal looks kinda twitchy, though.”

“You were pointing a gun at us moments ago, after all.”

“Fair enough. Dima! Alexei! It's all clear, nothing to worry about.” At that, what seemed to piles of rubble shifted, revealing another two Stalkers in masks. “Sit down, then. What did you want to talk about?”

Bourbon and I made ourselves relatively comfortable on an old, weather-worn bench. “We need some help to get to Ostankino Tower post haste, and I'm hoping you're up for it.”

The Stalker eyed me silently for a moment before speaking. “What's in it for me and my friends?”

“Sixty MGRs and some of our spare filters.” I replied without missing a beat. I could literally sense the other man's brow rising in surprise.

“I'm guessing it's got something to do with that band of Rangers that headed there a while ago?”

“You could say that, yeah.” I responded in turn. “So, what'll it be?”

“Well, I'm not exactly concerned what your business with the Rangers is, but I'll take you to there nonetheless – bullets are bullets, after all. Get ready to move in five.”

I nodded, passing a thirty-round mag to the man. “Here's half in advance. You'll get the rest once we get there.”

“Fair enough.”

The weather could've been better. Then again, it was a pointless thing to wish for on the Surface. It was always cloudy here, with an (un)healthy dose of toxic, bone-chilling wind. No wonder so few of those who dared venture topside returned. Luckily, anyone who had even a smidgen of a sense of direction could recognise the Ostankino tower even in the dead of night, making it a reliable landmark to navigate by.

Unfortunately, the streets of a post-apocalyptic Moscow were less than easy to navigate – gaping rents had opened up in the tarmac, shattering the water pipes, filling the crevices with radioactive sludge. Rusted, dilapitated vehicles filled the lanes, limiting our lines of sight and turning the street into a maze.

Like an obstacle course, except much more deadly.

And of course, universe seemed to be conspiring against us – a snowstorm was raging overhead, its distant booms of thunder sending Howlers stampeding in their dozens through Moscow, forcing our group to hide more times than I was comfortable with. Of course, the mutants' keen sense of smell meant some Howlers came to investigate, but those were swiftly dispatched by Luna, who still operated from the shadows. I think she was the only one who was actually enjoying herself, judging from the occasional glimpse of a Howler deciding to float mid air before a flash of steel tore through its midsection, and the creature fell to ground in two pieces, its last breath escaping as a puff of steam. More often than not, the mutants coming our way were running in terror, not attacking. Did she possess powers not unlike those of the Dark Ones?

But waxing philosophical would have to wait. We had to save Metro's ultimate bogeymen from extinction first. As the umpteenth stampede passed by, we broke out in a sprint once more, once more heading for the Ostankino tower.

“This is where we part ways, friend.” I passed the remainder of the Stalkers' payment to them – thirty MGRs and a couple of filters, as agreed. “Thanks for the help.” The leader nodded, pocketing the goods and walking off with his friends, waving one last time to me.

“Always happy to help a fellow Stalker!”

As the three men disappeared from our view, Luna popped into existence at Bourbon's side, almost giving him a heart attack. The alicorn paid no heed to him, instead staring up at the old, weather-worn tower, awe clear on her face.

“It's so... big...”

“That's what she said.” Come on, you really expected me to let that opportunity pass? Luna turned to look at me, a confused look on her face.

“What?”

“Never mind. Anyways, here we are – the Ostankino tower. Used to broadcast radio and TV stations before the War.”

“Radio? Teevee? What are those?”

“I'll let Bourbon explain it to you later, Luna. He knows more about pre-War Moscow than I do. For now, we've got to get to the top floor. Which is more than four hundred metres above us. Chyort. Well, no-one said this would be easy.”

We went on, soon reaching a door that looked like it was kicked in – and recently, too, if the scrapes on its surface were anything to go by. Dust and snow on the floor, probably unmoved for years, had fresh bootprints, and we followed those to the lifts. Luna followed me and Bourbon in a sort of awed silence, her head on a swivel as she examined the banks of control panels and screens.

“Well, damn. Looks like someone used this in the near past. See? The counterweight's released. Pretty much a one-way trip to the top.” Bourbon grumbled as he looked upwards. “Check if any other elevators are on this floor. Otherwise, we'll have to footslog it to the top – and I'd prefer if we could avoid that. No doubt the stairs and ladders here have rusted to shit! One wrong step and kaput.” I nodded and went off to check the other elevator shafts, leaving Luna to mill around aimlessly.

It didn't take long to find on elevator that'd suit our needs. There was one problem, though – it'd be impossible to carry the three of us to the top at once. Luna's suggestion that she fly upwards was quickly shot down by the fact that Demons nested on the tower's exterior. The argument was soon solved by Luna teleporting to the top of the shaft. Because, you know, she is a magic powerhouse, and I felt incredibly stupid for forgetting that. Without further ado, Bourbon and I climbed on top of the elevator. A moment of struggling with a rusted lever later, the counterweight was free – with a teeth-clenching shriek, the elevator cabin jerked free, slowly rising upwards. It was slow going at first, but as the mountings loosened up, we gained speed, ascending at a brisk pace. Winds howled with increasing ferocity the higher we got.

“Okay, you might want to hold onto something or you'll fall off!” Bourbon shouted over the din as we shimmied into the cabin – neither of us wished to risk getting ground to pieces between the elevator and shaft roof. Moments later, we came to a bone-jarring halt. I shook my head as I crawled over to the doors, prying them open with Bourbon's help. As we left the elevator cabin (read: deathtrap) behind, we came across a message Luna had scratched onto a loose wall panel – she'd wandered ahead a bit, to scout a safe route.

“Do you think she'll be alright on her own, Bourbon?”

“Totally! If she's half what Purplesmart's cracked up alicorns to be, she'll have no problem!”

“Who?”

“Purplesmart. You know, the one with the baby dragon as an assistant.”

“You mean Twilight.”

“Sure, whatever.” I rolled my eyes at his manners as we cautiously climbed the creaking metal stairs leading upwards, following the trail Luna had marked. By now, my clothes were fighting tooth and nail to keep me (relatively) warm, despite the sunlight that shone freely above the clouds. Huffing, we went on further.

“Luna? You there?”

From somewhere above – but nearby – I heard the mare's voice. “Oh, you're here? Good. I seem to have fallen into a bit of a predicament, Alyona. I'd appreciate if you could help me resolve it.”

“Stay still, suka, or I'll blow your head off!”

“Okay, what did she get yourself into?” I groaned, hurrying along, Bourbon trailing behind me. A couple of moments later I received my answer – Luna was standing still, a wounded Ranger holding her at gunpoint, his revolver's barrel resting square between her eyes. There was also a dead Demon sticking through the wall, its face filled with Helsing arrows.

“Well, shit.” Bourbon was first to speak. The Ranger looked towards us, but kept the gun pointed at Luna.

“Uh, could you please not threaten my friend?”

“You're travelling with a goddamn mutant?”

“She's not a mutant, man. I'd love to tell you why we're here, but that'll have to wait until later. Is Artyom still alive?”

“How do you know his name?” The Ranger grumbled.

“As I said, long story. For now, it's important that I reach him right now.”

“I don't think so. He'll get that targeter set up and wipe the damn Dark Ones out in just a couple of minutes. Whatever it is you're here for, I highly doubt it involves killing thezzzZZZ~” He trailed off and slumped on the floor, his weapon clattering as it slipped from his grasp. I turned to look at Luna just in time to see the glow fade from her horn.

“Time is short, and we cannot afford to spend it trying to talk him down. Bourbon, tend to his wounds and explain the situation to him when he regains consciousness. Alyona, we'll make our way upwards and stop Artyom from activating this 'targeter', whatever that may be.”

“Uh... Did you just-”

“He's asleep, nothing less. Let us proceed. Time is of the essence.”

“Okay, then...” I quickly followed the alicorn, leaving Bourbon to patch the snoring Ranger up. As I changed my filter, I could hear Luna grumbling sourly, something to the effect of 'how dare he threaten royalty'...

I suppressed my smirk, even though I had my gasmask on.

The sight would've been breathtaking before the Great War. Hell, it was still breathtaking, but in a desolate way – empty shells of crumbling buildings stretching as far as the eye can see.

But when compared to the sight of a man – whom I presumed to be Artyom - stumbling around drunkenly, almost tripping over a Dark One lying on the flooring, it seemed moot. Though the creature bore no wounds, the lack of any movement was all I needed to ascertain it was dead or dying. Artyom fell on his ass, gasping with dread. His panicked gaze instantly locked onto Luna and me.

“W-what the fuck?”

“Artyom, right? Look, I'll explain everything later, but now, it's important that you turn off that targeter!”

“What? No! The Dark Ones have to be stopped at any cost!”

“Twenty seconds to homing procedure completion.” The targeter chirped in.

Pain... The Dark One rolled over feebly, trying to reach the targeter, but lacked the strength to do so, and collapsed, still trying to crawl forward. Death... Prevent...

“Turn off the targeter and we'll explain everything to you, I promise. The Dark Ones aren't hostile! They want peace and to help us!”

“Really? Tell that to the people they've killed!” Artyom yelled, his own gun snapping up as he kept his aim on me.

Save... Life...

Distracted by the Dark One's struggle, he turned his attention to the mutant. It was all the chance I needed. I whipped out my own revolver, taking aim.

“Ten seconds to homing procedure completion.” The device announced from its tripod again.

...he does not understand...

A single shot rang through air as I squeezed the trigger. The .44 bullet struck the edge of Artyom's helmet, knocking his aim off. He stumbled forward drunkenly, swatting the targeter down from its perch by accident.

He also tripped on the steps, tumbling over the platform's edge with a horrified cry that I echoed.

I had barely a moment to process this development when Luna took to air, disappearing over the edge in a steep dive. Terrified, I crawled over to the tower's edge, then shrunk back as Luna soared upwards, a certain someone held tightly in her hooves. I breathed a sigh of relief and sat down, watching as the alicorn came in for a landing. There was a gust of wind and snow as she landed, gently depositing Artyom on the floor. A quick check revealed he was alive, but unconscious. Guess almost falling to your death does that to you. Luna trotted over to me, sitting down at my side, leaning against me - I welcomed the warmth.

"Guess we did it." I murmured tiredly.

"Yes." The alicorn hummed quietly, wrapping a wing around me. Yay, more warmth!

"So, what do we do now?" She grinned at that, looking down at me.

"I once met a very wise person who said to take one step at a time." That got a chuckle out of me and I lightly swatted her on the leg.

"Copycat."

We caught a lot of flak from the Rangers for what we did in the beginning. But with Luna's help, Artyom's childhood escapades were brought to light as one of the Dark Ones told their side of the story, the alicorn serving as a capable translator. Both Bourbon and me told where we ended up – Artyom looked like he'd seen a ghost once he saw the man. Apparently he thought Bourbon had died at Dry Station. It took quite a while for the Order to accept this – not because they were (too) against cooperation with the Dark Ones, but mostly because the Rangers who'd perished on the mission to reach D6 and Ostankino had pretty much died for nothing. That was something I could sympathise with, at least.

That was almost a year ago. Things have changed greatly since then.

The Dark Ones scared the tunnel trash – nosalises and the like - away from beleaguered stations like Exhibition and Riga. Stations cut off or surrounded found themselves harassed no more. They prospered, forming alliances with each other. Of course, neither Reds or Nazis approved of such changes. Earlier, the promise of protection would've forced many stations into hands of either faction. Now, however, they were organised and no longer afraid of the aggressors. Hanseatic envoys returned to their leaders empty-handed more often than not. The war between Reds and Nazis dragged on, however, two ideologies grinding each other down – their people left for the free stations, aided by the Dark Ones. Frustrated to no end at the unstoppable trickle of refugees, both the Red Line and Fourth Reich were eventually reduced to a handful of decrepit stations clawing at each other.

The Rangers moved into D6, setting up shop there, establishing themselves as a major power in the Metro. The supply stores recovered there, bolstered by whatever the Princesses delivered to Metro with the Dark Ones' aid – mostly in the way of foodstuffs – were a promise of a bright future for humanity. Of course, complications crop up here and there, but those are usually resolved quickly and peacefully.

The ponies are still kept a secret, though. It was uniformly agreed – by Luna and Celestia, too – that Equestria was a way bigger development to wrap one's head around, in comparison to the Dark Ones. It's not out of question, though. First, we need to see what future has in stock for us.

And to quote someone who set these events into motion many years ago - our future stretches before us like an endless metro tunnel.

Author's Note

It is finally done. Scratch that one off the list, eh?

I want to thank everyone who bore with me, throughout all of my inactivity/laziness/general lack of inspiration 'til the very end - you folks, all who left a comment, like, favourite and watch... Couldn't have done it without you.

Song relevant (kinda).