Maraschino

by Mr Unsmiley

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance
Length: 3099

For the sake of Sweet Apple Acres, it's up to Rarity to make sure Big McIntosh and Cherry Jubilee get some stank on the hang down.

Cherry Jubilee is a wealthy, beautiful Southern mare. Big McIntosh, a charming Southern bachelor.
The ever-clever Applejack plans to capitalize on the opportunity.
And when she immediately fucks it up, she calls in a favor from the one mare who can fix things.

Instead, Rarity shows up.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-27 00:39:15 UTC

The Matchmaker

He had been out later than usual.

The silent farmer shifted the sprig of wheat in his mouth, taking in the night’s view of the orchard.

McIntosh breathed in the cold air, eyes watering as the back of his nostrils burned.  He noticed that he had been staying out, later and later, ever since Applejack’s friend came to pay a visit.

The mare from Dodge Junction.

The crimson powerhouse of a stallion usually, usually had no qualms about being around mares: being raised in an all-female family, nearly all-female extended family, and a nearly all-female town had given him more than his fair share of experience with the other sex.

Really, why else would a stallion always keep to himself?

Still, when considering Cherry Jubilee, Mac had to admit that she certainly wasn’t the common sight in Ponyville.

He scrunched his nose, as he usually did when confronted with something he just couldn’t wrap his head around.

The way she carried herself reminded him of the typical Canterlot socialite, but her strut had just the right amount of southern swagger.

Her two-tone mane and tail was vibrant without being jarring, with an orderliness that looked both tantalizing and natural.

If McIntosh didn’t know better, he’d say that the cherry farmer would be what happened when you mixed together his rambunctious mare of a sister and her prim-and-proper friend Rarity.

He winced.  That wasn’t exactly an image he needed.

His large ears swiveled backwards, honing in on a distant hollering coming from the house.

McIntosh groaned softly, walking back towards the Apple household—and if he knew his sister—a verbal scolding to round out the night.

“What in tarnation’s up with you, spendin’ all night out in the orchard while we’ve got company?”  Applejack jabbed at her brother with a pointed hoof.

They were on the front porch of the house, screen door and lantern framing the light around brother and sister.

The orange cowpony trotted in agitation in front of her older brother.  “Ah don’t know what’s gotten into you, and Ah don’t rightly care.  All Ah know is that in this house, Cherry Jubilee is a guest, first and foremost, understand?” She prodded him in the shoulder for emphasis.

Mac resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his little sister’s behavior, and managed an “Eeyup” instead.

Applejack let out the breath she was holding.  She readjusted her hat on her head, turning slightly to catch their cream-coated guest resting on the couch and humoring young Apple Bloom with conversation.

“What’s more,” Applejack said slowly, lowering her voice so only her brother could hear, “this ‘business venture’ we’re mullin’ over could mean a lot of good things for us.”

McIntosh reflected on that.  Good things.  Good, new things for now so that they wouldn’t have to break their backs later.  Things that could afford him a life outside of his work.

He wiped the thoughts from his head like a hoof running through cobwebs.  That was neither here nor there, and they had learned through experience to never make such expectations of a single opportunity.

“Cherry Jubilee’s got a good operation going on in Dodge Junction, Ah’ve seen it m’self.”

Mac snorted to himself.  During your vacation, you mean.  A sour reflection on one of his sister’s more pigheaded decisions.

“Now, seein’ as how the trains near her orchard run all over Equestria, and her business is bigger than ours, Ah’m pullin’ every string Ah can to get her on board.  Havin’ relatives clear across Equestria is fine an’ dandy, but it ain’t much good for expandin’ a business.”

She turned fully to face McIntosh, eyes narrowed and stubborn forehead creased.  “And if that means gettin’ my strong, handsome, single older brother to gel with the pretty mare, then Ah’ll do what Ah have to.”

Mac’s eyes widened as the scope of Applejack’s scheme became clear.  “Seems a little underhoofed for you, AJ.” He rumbled.

She shook her head, a satisfied smirk on her face.  “Not really.  Cherry Jubilee’s a fine mare with a good head on her shoulders.  She’s gorgeous, single, and most importantly, aging.”  Applejack almost unconsciously shifted into her familiar stance, with on forehoof crossed over the other.  “Way Ah see it, Ah’m killin’ two birds with one stone.”

Mac’s ears drooped in exasperation.  "This is a terrible idea, Applejack.”

“Well, the two of ya aren’t gettin’ any younger.  Shoot, ya should be thanking me!”

“Is everything alright out there, Miss Applejack?” called a lilting voice from the living room.  “It’s getting awful dark out.”

“Oh, we’ll be right in, sugarcube!  Just chatting with my brother after a long day of work!” called Applejack. She turned back and fixed McIntosh with a glare.

“Appealing bachelor. Now.”

He nodded silently as the pair made their way back inside the house.

They found Cherry Jubilee lounging comfortably on the couch, smiling fondly as Apple Bloom pressed up eagerly against her withers.  The filly looked back at her siblings as they entered.

“Applejack, you never told me that you used to work for someone so fun!” The amber-eyed pony looked up affectionately at the mare.  “Cherry Jubilee and I got to talk about colts.”

Both of the siblings could feel a headache in the making already.

“We certainly did,” Cherry Jubilee said, amused.  “Your sister’s quite the little firecracker, Applejack. Apple Bloom here’s been trying to find me a suitor among the Ponyville stock.” Applejack cut her eyes at her younger sister.  “A noble effort, if there ever was one.”

Apple Bloom chuckled nervously as the cream-coated mare nuzzled her.

“Didn’t you learn your lesson the last time you tried playing matchmaker, Apple Bloom?”

The comment came from McIntosh, eyes narrowed in obvious irritation.  On the edge of his vision, he could vaguely make out Cherry Jubilee’s eyes on him, but he remained focused on his sister.

“It was just one house…” she muttered.  “And two stores…and a giant hole in the ground.”

“It really wasn’t so bad, in context.” Applejack said with a nervous smile to Cherry Jubilee.

Apple Bloom perked up suddenly, a smile on her face.  “Hey, Big McIntosh is single!”

Cherry Jubilee chuckled softly as she rested her head on one hoof.  “Is he now?” Her tone was clearly meant to humor the young filly, but her eyes never left the red workhouse.

The aforementioned stallion was no master of conversation, but even he could tell that the discussion was headed in a direction neither he nor Applejack wanted.

Thankfully, their guest managed to steer their conversation into more manageable waters.

Somewhat.

“To tell the truth, when I first came to your lovely home, I was under the impression that the two of you were married.” She smiled good-naturedly at the bewildered looks on the two sibling’s faces.  “I’m…glad to see that’s not the case.”

“’Course not!” Apple Bloom chirped.  “Applejack’s never been on a date in her life!”

Applejack shifted her hat forward and trotted up to the two sitting ponies.  “Well! Entertainin’ company or not, it’s still a school night.”  She wrested Apple Bloom none too gently from her place on the couch, lifting the complaining girl by the scruff of her neck with her teeth.

“Ah’ll be back down to talk business with ya,” Applejack said through her teeth, “as soon as Ah put this troublemaker to bed.”

As the orange apple farmer trudged up the steps, Cherry Jubilee sang, “Please, do take your time!  I believe I’m in good hooves here!”

The southern beauty shifted on the couch, tucking her legs neatly under her stomach.  She turned to face the silent farmer, a wry smile with a hint of mischief on her face.

“I must say, Mr. McIntosh, you four are a tight-knit bunch to say the least.” She rested her head on one of her forelegs.  “You’d be hard-pressed to find that kind of solidarity in my neck of the woods.”

McIntosh said nothing, only smiling and bowing his head slightly in a silent ‘thank you.’

Her eyes wrinkled in amusement, the tip of her tail flicking absentmindedly.  “Applejack certainly was right when she said you were a stallion of few words.”

The workhouse raised an eyebrow. Considering Applejack’s insinuations earlier that evening, he wouldn’t put it past her to have mentioned some of his more endearing traits to the visiting entrepreneur.  “What else did she say?”

Cherry Jubilee maintained her smile. “Well, for one…”

Applejack made her way down the hallway quietly.  The loud silence of the house always prompted her to move lightly on her hooves, especially whenever she was the one to tuck her younger sister into bed.

With practiced motions, she stepped on the backs of the old, worn steps to keep them from creaking, perking her ears to pick up on any snippets of conversation that came from the living room.

Silence.

Silence?

Her eyebrow quirked, as she realized that for the first time since she had retired for the day, the house was completely devoid of any conversation.

Slowly, gradually, the sound of hoofsteps made its way to her.  The short, shapely form of Cherry Jubilee sashayed towards Applejack, eyes narrowed and tail agitatedly swinging to-and-fro in spastic bursts.

Applejack made to ask the irritated mare what was bothering her, but an unladylike scowl marred her face.

“Not tonight.”

She continued to saunter up the stairs, closing the door to the guest room forcefully.

A feeling like a red-hot rattlesnake coiled itself around Applejack’s chest, and she dashed into the living room.

Big McIntosh sat silently on the rug, his usual calm demeanor soured by…

Digust?

But Applejack paid no mind to her brother’s disposition, and marched up to the sullen stallion.

“Just what kind of pigheaded stunt did you pull with her?!” Applejack barked, planting her hooves in front of her startled brother.

McIntosh settled back into his previous position, forming his lips into a hard line.  “Ah dunno, you tell me.  Seems ya don’t mind tellin’ anypony who wants to know.”

Applejack rolled her eyes.  “Someone had to!  Heaven knows it’s an uphill battle just to get ya to say more than a few words!”

His green eyes narrowed on hers.  “Right, right, and ya’ll did such a bang-up job with that.”

Applejack bristled, squaring her shoulders in indignation.  “The hay’s that supposed to mean?  Ah do my best to set you up with a respectable mare, and—”

McIntosh snorted.  “Yeah, Ah forgot, you’re the one who wrote the book on how to get a date.”

That shut her up.

Applejack’s eyes lit up a dangerous bright green, the way they always did when she had raced past angry and was on the knife edge of losing it.

But before she could retort, McIntosh brushed right by her. “Chapter 5, I was right there with ya, AJ.”

“Am I glad to see you here,” Applejack muttered, as she trotted down the steps of the porch to greet her friend.  The midday sun did little to improve her mood from the previous night.

Rarity dipped her head in a graceful nod as she matched Applejack’s agitated gait.  “Always a pleasure, Applejack.  Now, what exactly was it that you needed help with?”

The farm mare simply gestured at the cream mare lounging on the porch, oblivious to the topic of their conversation.

Rarity’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment.  “Oh my,” she murmured, before prancing up the steps.

After a greeting from the surprised cherry mare, the two lapsed into pleasant conversation.  Applejack couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but with the infrequent looks out to the orchards, she didn’t have to.

A trilling laugh or two later, and the fashionista was trotting down the steps with the aura of a mare who’d just indulged in the most satisfying gossip.

Applejack waited impatiently for her friend to spill on what had transpired the previous night; when no information was forthcoming, the orange pony stamped her foot in irritation.

“Well? What’s the deal between those two?”

“Hmm?” Rarity asked absentmindedly, bouncing her tail with her rear leg, admiring it.  “Ah, yes.  It’s nothing to worry about, I’d say.  Just a nasty case of rejection.  Terrible, that.”

Applejack moaned, sitting on her haunches and rubbing her eyes.  “Ah shoulda known Big McIntosh would do something to goof things up…”

Rarity paused, confused.  “Oh, no, you must be confused, darling.  McIntosh wasn’t the one rejected.”

Applejack froze.  “Come again?”

Rarity tittered, summoning a mirror as she conversed with her friend.  “The bachelorette known as Cherry Jubilee made a pass at your brother last night.  The bachelor known as your brother, on the other hoof, chose not to acquiesce.”

What?

WHAT?

“But…how…” Applejack stammered, trying to wrap her head around things.

“That’s what I want to know,” Rarity said, casting a look over her shoulder.  “What was he thinking, passing up a proposition like that?  The mare’s so gorgeous, I’d certainly be hard-pressed to say no.”

Seeing that Applejack was still at a loss for words, Rarity sighed.  She wrapped her foreleg around the farmer, walking away from the porch, where the subject of their conversation would be less likely to hear them.

“Understand this, Applejack.  Cherry Jubilee may be a gorgeous lady, but first and foremost, she is a gorgeous lady.”  Rarity made firm eye contact with the green-eyed mare.  “She’s likely always had her pick of the stallions, and assuming that she’s as intelligent as you make her out to be, she’s sure to have a discerning eye.  Walk with me, if you will.”

The two mares trotted down the worn path to the orchards, willing themselves to be lost in the spotted dark of the afternoon flora.  In the distance, they could hear the steady crack of hooves on bark.  Soon enough, they came within a stone’s throw of the crimson stallion.

“Strike from your mind the fact that he is your brother,” Rarity commanded, “and behold McIntosh.”

Applejack rolled her eyes at Rarity’s usual histrionics—they weren’t in the deep south, after all—but tried to do as she was told.

“Now, from a stranger’s point of view,” the white mare said, “why would anypony find McIntosh to be favorable?”

Applejack fidgeted, looking anywhere but at her brother.  “He’s…built well, Ah guess?”

Rarity nodded.  “And?”

Applejack shrugged.  “He’s smart?”

But the fashionista shook her head.  “Too true, but you wouldn’t know that just by looking at him, now would you?”

Applejack frowned.  “It ain’t like Ah can help it, Rarity.  It’s hard to see your sibling as anypony else.”

Rarity rolled her eyes, circling around her oblivious friend.  “The point being, Applejack, is that your brother's personality is more intricate than he lets on.”

The apple farmer cocked her head.  “Come again?”

“He’s strong, obviously.  But what does the way he carries himself say?” When Applejack was silent, Rarity pressed on.  “It speaks of his self-confidence, for one.  It also shows how conscious he is of his own strength.

“He’s quiet, which likely means that he’s thoughtful, and thinks before he acts.  Introspection breeds character, character breeds depth, and depth, as you know, brings passion and meaning to relationships.” The gem-flanked mare continued in a teaching tone, walking back and forth.

“You can tell all that just from looking at him?” Applejack asked, wide-eyed with surprise.

“More importantly, she can tell,” Rarity said, referring to Applejack’s esteemed guest.  “Don’t you get it, Applejack?  Your brother isn’t just a stallion. He’s the stallion.  He’s the one to beat, the golden standard!” She gestured with a hoof towards distant Ponyville.  "Dodge Junction, Ponyville.  She's seen the regular stock, and she knows a prize horse when she sees one."

“And Cherry Jubilee won’t accept anything but the best…” Applejack said, slowly coming to the unsettling realization.

“Well, he’s certainly got quick hooves and a strong back,” Rarity muttered.

Mortified, Applejack turned to her friend.  “Rarity, ya gotta help me!  Ah don’t know the first thing about matchmaking, and if Ah don’t fix this soon, it’s just gonna blow up in my face!”

Rarity frowned.  “Matchmaking?”

Applejack nodded.  “Yeah, that’s what you meant by her making a pass at Big McIntosh, right?  She wants to court him!  We have to do whatever we can to make sure that happens!”

The dressmaker covered her mouth with a hoof. “Oh dear, it appears we’ve had another miscommunication.”

Applejack’s mood only sank further.  “And what do you mean by that?” she asked, exasperated.

“Cherry Jubilee isn’t looking for a mate, dearest.  She’s looking to mate.”

After downing a mug of hard cider to cope with the task at hoof, Applejack rubbed her head in embarrassment. “So, Ah know you’re taking a risk by helping me with this—”

“Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at the Boutique, three o’ clock sharp.” Rarity said, without even looking up from her opera glasses.  “I look forward to having you model my latest creations, dear.”

Cursing her bad luck, Applejack ambled down the steps and onto the path toward town.  “Ah’m gonna stay in town until this all blows over,” she muttered.

“Ta!” Rarity waved goodbye to her irritated friend, then settled back into her sentinel persona.

Despite the setting sun, and the evening chill that followed, McIntosh refused to come inside, instead opting to stay out in the orchards a little longer.

Rarity frowned.  If the red workhouse was half as stubborn as his sister, she’d have a time of convincing him to bed Cherry Jubilee.

The dressmaker winced. It would take some getting used to; the idea that she was helping to bed Applejack’s brother wasn’t exactly on her to-do list.

Although…

Her tail flicked, agitated, as she allowed herself to consider...other options.

Pro: Big McIntosh was all that a mare could ask for in a partner, romantic or sexual.  Strong, caring, and, if such truths were to be considered, undoubtedly well-endowed.

Rarity bit her lips.

Con: as Applejack’s older brother, he was off-limits in regards to any of her friend’s pursuits. Romantic or sexual.

Rarity groaned.  It was an unspoken rule of friendship to never enter into a relationship with a friend’s sibling without permission.  A stupid rule, yes, but she adhered to them nonetheless.

Pro: Applejack was already entrusting her with getting the two to…come to agreeable terms.  Surely her old friend would understand if she simply wanted to bask in the success of her work?

Con.

Rarity gritted her teeth.

Not only was Applejack stubborn and fiercely protective of her loved ones, but she had yet to consider McIntosh himself.  If he had rebuffed a mare as beautiful as Cherry Jubilee, who was to say that an attempt on her part would yield different results?  Rarity was confident in her own beauty, but one didn’t live as a stallion in Ponyville without knowing when to turn down a pretty face.

Just as Rarity found herself at an impasse, a pleasant thought occurred to her.  Her stomach coiled, and her face flushed.

"Yes...yes, that just might work." She did say the mare was gorgeous, after all.

For the sake of Applejack’s request, it would be in her best interests to make absolutely sure that McIntosh wouldn’t be able to turn down his admirer.

Doubling down, as it were.