Pound My Pumpkin

1. Past Sins

Yaazi walked nervously through the halls of Canterlot Castle, Pound to her left, Pumpkin to her right, and her new teacher, Twilight Sparkle, in front of her. It had been two weeks since the rather...awkward conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Cake after she had gotten out of the shower. Carrot Cake had been very accepting of the entire situation, and happy as long as his kids were happy. Cup Cake, on the other hoof, wasn't entirely sure how to feel about Yaazi. However, learning that she was Twilight's personal student - and would be living with the new princess - and hearing Pinkie Pie vouch for Yaazi's character had calmed Cup's concern considerably. Then there was the reunion with Pinkie and the introduction of Pinkie's marefriend. Yaazi and the twins weren't sure why, but this started another whole round of emotional turmoil from Cup Cake. Yaazi eventually came to the conclusion that Cup was just an incredibly overprotective mother.

Moving in with Twilight had been hard at first, since Twilight shielded her emotions rather thoroughly. Yaazi wasn't able to get anything from her in the way of emotional nutrition. However, she spent a good deal of her time with either Pound, Pumpkin, or her new Auntie Pinkie - as Pinkie Pie insisted she call her. Also, Twilight spent a good amount of time with her in the role of teacher, exploring what all Yaazi already knew about her magic and how much further she could go with it.

Staying in her unicorn form made all of this a great deal easier for Yaazi, as only the use of her magic drained her emotional energy reserves in that form. Eating pony food and sleeping helped to replenish her purely physical energy. Realizing this, Yaazi felt quite the fool. Had she known it years ago, when she first reached Equestria, she would have assumed that form and snuck herself into an orphanage. It would have been easy to get an adoptive couple interested in taking her in, and then she wouldn't have faced anywhere near the pain she'd felt...especially since it didn't take magic to stay in her unicorn form and - as she'd discovered today - spells that forced Changelings to drop disguises did not compel her to shift out of this form.

Of course, today would just throw the entire situation into a new set of complications. "So you found out my parentage?" she asked Twilight yet again.

Twilight nodded. "Yes. I found your biological father. He wants to meet you. As does his family."

Yaazi shuddered a little. "Did...did we have to meet them here?"

Twilight smiled. "This is where they're staying, and we can travel discretely a lot easier than they can. In this particular case, discretion is a good thing."

"So they're important ponies, then," Yaazi replied.

"Well...pretty important," Twilight replied evasively.

Yaazi shivered once again. She was worried about how she would handle this, and if she could do so well. The most frightening part of this for her, though, given her recent nightmares...would be meeting Celestia. There was a good chance she would, and she wasn't sure how she would be able to handle it, or if she could.

Pound leaned against her. Don't worry so much, he thought to her silently. We'll be right there with you.

Pumpkin smiled at her. We've met Celestia a few times when she's visited Ponyville. She's actually really nice. You don't need to worry.

Yaazi smiled, but couldn't resist a mild jibe at them both. I take it you already know how you'll act around your second mother, then? Feeling the mild dread that briefly filled them, she continued, And now you know part of why I'm so nervous. She's bound to know her role in your parentage. What if she gets overprotective of you in regard to a Changeling being so close to you both?

Umm... Pumpkin thought nervously.

If she tries to hurt you, I'll kick her flank, Pound thought firmly.

Yaazi was torn between flushing in pleasure and laughing out loud. You'll...fight the Princess of the Sun...to protect me?

Sure. Why wouldn't I? Pound nuzzled against her.

Yaazi blushed, nuzzling back.

Twilight smiled at them. "We'll wait in here," she said, leading them into a waiting room just outside a meeting room. "When they're inside, we'll join them."

Yaazi sat for a few moments. "Umm...it'll just be my father and his family, right?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes. I made sure of that."

"Umm...do they...know..." Yaazi wasn't sure how to ask this part.

"They know you're half Changeling," Twilight replied, smiling softly at her.

Yaazi nodded. "In that case..." She triggered her magic, shifting to her Changeling form.

Twilight's eyes widened in mild surprise. "Yaazi?"

Yaazi closed her eyes. "The only way anything can come of all this...is if they can accept all of me. This...will be the hardest part. If...if they can't accept me like this..."

"Then it will always be the shadow on your relationship," Pumpkin continued. "The elephant in the room, the thing no one talks about but is always preying on their minds. It'll eventually destroy whatever good you're able to build." Pumpkin looked up at Twilight. "Right, Twilight?"

Twilight nodded. "That's right, Pumpkin. I see you took my advice to heart." She turned back to Yaazi. "You raise a valid point. ...I can only hope things go well."

That makes four of us, Yaazi thought, her thought echoed simultaneously by Pound and Pumpkin.

Twilight looked up. "They're waiting for us." She opened the second door. "Whenever you're ready."

Nodding, Yaazi stepped forward through the door, the twins right behind her. Looking in, she saw a white unicorn stallion with a blue mane and kind blue eyes, a mare beside him she didn't recognize, and-

"BIG SISTER!"

"Oomph!" Yaazi said as the small white colt cannoned into her, hugging her tightly. The sheer overwhelming force of brotherly love pouring off the young colt nearly staggered her. Without thought, she wrapped her forelegs around the young unicorn. He didn't even know her, and he already loved her so much...she thanked her Changeling forms absence of tear ducts aiding her in maintaining her composure. Had she been able to, she knew she would have broken down and wept.

The mare walked forward. "So this is Yaazi?" she asked sweetly, leaning forward slightly to be at eye level with her.

Looking up, Yaazi shivered slightly as she recognized the mare. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Which meant...

The stallion stepped forward. "Looks like it."

Twilight smiled. "That's right. This is Yaazi. Yaazi, this is your father, Prince Shining Armor-"

"Your big brother," Yaazi interrupted.

Chuckling, Twilight nodded. "That's right. And his wife, Cadance, my old foalsitter. And their son, Heart Throb, my nephew. Which makes you my niece."

Yaazi didn't know how to respond at first. Pumpkin, however, put a hoof against the pendant Yaazi wore, looking carefully at it. "Explains a lot," Pumpkin said somewhat sardonically.

Yaazi couldn't help it. She giggled. "It does, doesn't it?"

Laughing, Heart Throb grinned at Yaazi. "Bet you can't catch me!" Turning, he started racing around the room.

As Yaazi laughingly chased him, she went through in her mind the impressions of each of these new ponies she'd gotten from reading their emotions. Shining Armor and Cadance both have issues they are still dealing with regarding Changelings, Shining more seriously than Cadance, as well as more specific. But both also want to welcome me. They want to make me a part of their family. Heart Throb...he doesn't know how to judge somepony based on what they are. To him I'm his big sister, and he loves me, and that's all there is to it. And Twilight...she's lowered her shields now, and I can feel her... She was surprised by me at first, but she cares for me as well, first out of compassion and now of familial love. Yaazi closed her eyes, once more glad she didn't have tear ducts at the moment. It's...it's all going to work out...

See? Pumpkin thought at her smugly. I told you everything would work out.

As Yaazi managed to catch Heart Throb in a tackle-hug, she sent a silent chuckle back. Indeed you did. There's only one thing left to wonder about-

Right at that moment, another door opened, and Celestia and Luna stepped in. Luna smiled happily at everyone, but Celestia took one look at Yaazi, Pound, and Pumpkin and locked her expression in diplomatic neutral.

As everyone settled quietly, Pumpkin thought to Pound and Yaazi, It is so hard to keep from saying, "Hi Mom," right now.

[i[Now is not the time to make us laugh, Pumpkin, Pound thought back to her.

Luna came forward with a smile, walking straight up to Yaazi. "It is good to meet you in the waking world at last, Yaazi."

Yaazi smiled. "A pleasure to meet you as well, Princess Luna."

Celestia managed a diplomatic smile. "I have heard a great deal about you, Yaazi."

Yaazi looked up at Celestia. She was able to read some of the Princess' emotions. She felt nervousness, fear, sorrow, and...shame? "It's good to meet you, Your Highness," Yaazi managed to say.

Celestia nodded. "Yes. I...understand you have had...quite the ordeal in the past."

Yaazi nodded, looking down. "Yes. Life has...not been kind to me in the past." She struggled to keep the memories from resurfacing. "But I think, with what I have found now, and with the help of my new friends and family...I'll be able to get past it. I think I'll be able to recover."

"Yes," Celestia replied. "That is good." Although no facial expression gave sign, Yaazi sensed the sudden swelter of emotion that raced through Celestia's mind. "If you'll all excuse me," she said quietly, "I'm afraid I'm feeling a tad under the weather today." With a polite nod to everyone, she turned and left the room.

Luna glanced after her. "If you will all excuse me, I wish to check on my sister." Turning, she followed Celestia out of the room.

Yaazi watched her leave. Something serious was going on, and she felt she was somehow central to it. She wanted to follow the Princesses - and knew she'd be able to easily - but she didn't know how to get out of the room without drawing suspicion-

Press your hind legs together and hop from one hoof to the other a bit, Pumpkin suddenly thought at her.

Yaazi stopped herself from smiling. Thanks, she thought back, doing as Pumpkin suggested.

Cadance chuckled. "The little filly's room is out that door-" she pointed to the door both Princesses had taken, "-down the hall to the right, fifth door down. You should probably be a pony for it."

Yaazi smiled. "Thanks...Mom," she replied, trying the word out for shape and sound. It felt right. Feeling the welter of emotions it sparked in Cadance, she knew it was the right word to use. She changed into her unicorn form and headed out the door.

As soon as she was out of the room, however, she locked onto Celestia and Luna's emotions. She then crafted her 'unremarkable' spell, and reverted to her Changeling form. She followed her sense of the two Princesses until she came to a locked door with a great deal of protective spells on it. She wouldn't be able to get through it without setting off several alarms. However, she knew of a simpler way through. Stepping up to the wall, she silently thanked Pumpkin as green energy surrounded her from and she walked unnoticed through the wall.

"-do not understand why you walked out of there as you did, sister," Luna was saying. "Why does Yaazi distress you so? Have you not moved past your issues after Chrysalis' invasion?"

Celestia was silent for a time. "No, Luna...I haven't."

Celestia was laying on her bed, looking rather distraught. Luna stood nearby, watching her sister with concern and compassion. Luna spoke after a time. "Why not?"

"Because...because it's all my fault..."

Luna was silent for a time. "I believe it's time you answered my questions regarding what happened to the Changelings. Before my banishment, our ties with them were the closest of any nations. Why, Queen Papillion practically raised us after our parents departed! What went wrong?"

Celestia sighed, rising to her hooves as she stepped off the bed. "As I said, Luna, it's all my fault. After I was forced to banish you, I was distraught, inconsolable. I thought I had lost you forever. However, Papillion tried to comfort me. But...when she said she grieved that she felt she could do nothing to prevent it, and had seen your descent...I snapped. I lashed out at her verbally, blaming her for what happened to you. She just took it, let me vent my emotions, and at the end, offered comfort.

"However...Prince Silversword overheard my verbal assault." Celestia shook her head. "You remember him, right?"

Luna made a disgusted sound deep in her throat. "He is not one easily forgotten. When I first encountered Blueblood, I thought that Silversword had somehow achieved immortality."

"Indeed. He is a great deal like his ancestor, isn't he?" Celestia asked with a sad smile.

Luna's eyes went wide. "Silversword managed to breed? What mare was so desperate, and how much did he pay her?"

Celestia chuckled sadly. "That's not important right now." She sighed. "See, he took what he had overheard...and spread the knowledge. Before long, relations between Equestria and the Changelings were severely frayed. When next I met with Papillion, I apologized for what happened, and what was happening with our nations." Celestia blinked away momentary tears. "She...she smiled at me, and said, 'It's not your fault. These things happen.'" Celestia closed her eyes for a time. "Unfortunately, the damage was already done, and other nations saw the fraying of our alliance as an opportunity.

"During my next in person meeting with Papillion - 50 years after your banishment - she had brought her daughter to meet me...and an assassin tried to strike me dead." Celestia hung her head. "In the state I was in, I was unable to defend myself, and he somehow evaded the guards. I never learned all the details."

When Celestia did not continue after a time, Luna spoke up. "What happened?"

Celestia shook her head. "You know Papillion always had ways of knowing things we did not understand?" When Luna nodded, she continued, "Well, she had discovered something about our links to the sun and moon. See, while it was intended to be a one way link, allowing us to manipulate the Celestial bodies and draw power from them, the link created a feedback effect. I...discovered from one of her journals afterwards that, with you banished to the moon through a spell anchored to both of us and our symbols, if I died a violent death without an heir to my magic...both sun and moon would go out."

Luna gasped. "Then...Papillion?"

Celestia hung her head low. "She did the only thing she could to protect me, and through me all life on our planet. She made herself a living shield. And...her poor daughter, no more than seven years old...the last she saw of her mother was her life being stolen by the weapon meant for me. I'll never forget that broken face, spattered with her mother's blood, slowly being led away by the High General." Celestia closed her eyes, struggling not to weep openly.

After a time, she continued. "The next time I saw her was when she came to me as Queen in her own right, some 200 years later. I had thought we might repair the alliance, but those hopes were dashed. She came right up to me and asked if her mother died because of me. I could only respond that it was so. She turned to leave, and spoke three words to me, the last I heard of her for the rest of the millennium.

"She said, 'You will pay.'"

Luna sat quietly for a time. "Did you ever see her again?"

Celestia let tears begin to fall. "When next I saw her...she was pretending to be my niece at her wedding."

Luna gasped. "Chrysalis?"

Celestia nodded, beginning to pace slowly. "Yes. Her campaign was twofold. First was to undo the damage the broken alliance had done to the swarm, pushing them to the brink of starvation. The second was to get her vengeance against me for the death of her mother. She set out to destroy everything I cared for, and take all that I held dear. And after what I had done to her already...I could not bring myself to wield my full power against her in our initial confrontation, which nearly destroyed me." She paced faster. "When she was blasted away, I feared she would return in time, so I sent out messages to all the other kingdoms warning them of Changelings, in case she had other campaigns in place."

Luna sat down heavily. "But...she died from that blast. And your warnings created an atmosphere of fear and paranoia throughout the kingdoms...that was the source of the hatred and persecution Yaazi suffered under outside Equestria."

Celestia nodded, turning so that she happened to face where Yaazi stood invisibly. "Yes. And a bit of moral breakdown in the more outlying regions of our own kingdom, which she suffered from as well. When I see Yaazi, I see the sum total of the weight of my crimes against her. The death of her mother Chrysalis, of her grandmother Papillion, of her entire race, and everything she's suffered in her life..." Celestia raised her head, tears streaming from her eyes. "How can I face her, when all of it is my fault?" Celestia froze then, her eyes locked on Yaazi, slowly going wide.

Yaazi knew what had happened. Celestia's thoughts of her had allowed her to see her. She calmly walked forward towards Celestia, seeing her as few ever had the chance to...vulnerable, broken, grief-stricken. Yaazi knew, somehow, that whatever she said next would forever define her relationship with Celestia, and through her Equestria in general. It would define all future interactions between Equestria and any of her own children.

She knew she couldn't simply offer forgiveness. In her present state, Celestia would not be able to accept it. Yaazi knew there were only two paths she could walk now: in the hoofsteps of her mother, or her grandmother.

Walking forward, she leaned her head against Celestia's neck. "It's alright," she whispered, struggling to put as much sincerity as she could into the words. "These things happen." She didn't believe it. She doubted if she ever would. But that wasn't important right now. What was important - for everyone's sake - was that Celestia believed she believed it.

Celestia stared down at Yaazi, disbelieving. Then, without warning, she sank to her knees, burying her face in Yaazi's side as she wrapped one wing around her, weeping softly.

Luna walked forward, kneeling down beside them both, wrapping her wing around them as Celestia wept, the pain that had built up inside her for nearly a millennium finally being allowed to run its course.