Introduction
What you are reading is the world’s first (maybe) collaboratively written MLP Fan Fiction. It’s sort of like that campfire game where you tell a story one sentence at a time and the next person supplies the next sentence. This was written by many members of the /r/myliitlepony subreddit in Google Docs. As you can expect from something that was written by several people at the same time, it certainly isn’t the best Fan Fiction ever written (frankly, I’m surprised it even ended and didn’t just ramble on into infinity). Anyway, if you want to read these strange results of what was really more of a social experiment than an actual writing session, then you are in for a wild ride of Discord, hallucinations, Topiary shipping, Zecora, party cannons and all sorts of wild things awkwardly mish-mashed together. Enjoy!
Contributors:
(Or at least the ones who bothered to sign their name)
-Speckle21 (crappy writer who should be banned from all fanfics)
-ScottPilgrimIRL (Probably the coolest person here)
-camgoeswild (Document Owner)
-Meepenator3 (Destroyed AJ’s Barn again)
-Wizard_Duck (Makes a great Discord)
-FlawlessTea (Editing)
-Ave6 (A magical and majestic creature, who may be known in this land as “Bobby.”)
-Dexter Helix (Totally wrote some stuff and isn’t a changeling. Seriously. Not a changeling.)
/r/mylittlepony Weekly Collaborative Fanfic 1
Winging It
∫∬∭∯∰∯∭∬∫
Fluttershy awoke to a noise. A persistent sound, something beyond a hum but just short of a
rumble, resonated through the floor.
Worried her animal friends had gotten themselves into some trouble, she forced herself out of her comfortable bed and went downstairs to investigate.
“Oh, hello there!” Discord bellowed over the sounds of pots and pans on the stove. “I just thought I’d make some breakfast for my best and only friend!” Angel Bunny and a few other small animals were tied up and hanging over boiling water. They were clearly alive but very angry. Discord glanced over at Fluttershy’s disapproving eyeballs. “Oh, alright!” Discord conceded as he snapped his fingers and freed the animals, replacing his ingredients with vegetables shaped like the little animals.
“You never let me have any fun, Fluttershy.” Discord bemoaned dramatically. Angel was reaching for a carrot that Discord was playfully dangling over his head.
“Well, I don’t mind having fun if it’s not at the expense of others,” Fluttershy quietly replied after handing the carrot to Angel. Although she tried not to show it, Discord’s insensitive behavior was more than just a simple disruption to her daily routine.
“You sure do know how to ruin a soup party, dear Fluttershy,” mocked Discord. “I’ll leave your little animals alone, but I can’t say the same for your friends.”
“AAAH!” Fluttershy heard a familiar scream. A scream of a pony ... a new princess in Ponyville.
“Twilight!” yelled Fluttershy. “Oh goodness, whatever shall I do?” said Fluttershy in a panic.
“A little duct tape is usually the best fix, in my humble opinion.” Discord appeared beside Fluttershy with a golden platter bearing a roll of silvery tape. “A liberal application should clear that right up!”
Fluttershy shivered and replied, “Discord, I would never harm my friend and I certainly will not allow you to.”
Discord rolled his eyes and swiftly stepped in front of Fluttershy. “I have no intention of harming dear Twilight Sparkle, I just figured you didn’t like the screaming, and I was offering a bit of peace.”
“Oh, well, thank you, Discord, but I think I should go check on her ... is all ...” said Fluttershy, as she trembled in front of Discord.
Discord looked a bit put out. “Oh, my dear, you’re trembling like a leaf.” With a wave of his hand, a gust of wind blew in from the door and pushed the surprised pegasus closer to a now roaring fireplace and a steaming cup of hot cocoa that had certainly not been there before.
“My dear Fluttershy, why don’t you stay here and relax? I’ll go investigate what happened to our dear Twilight,” Discord proclaimed with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“I think I should go,” Fluttershy remarked in a stern tone. “You stay here.”
“Are you sure? I mean, all of these animals would be ever so lost without you here to care for them,” Discord quickly replied, placing a few of Fluttershy’s animals on her kitchen counter to illustrate his point.
Fluttershy shivered at the thought of leaving her animal friends in Discord’s care, but she knew Twilight must be in real trouble if she was screaming like that. Reluctantly, she trotted out the door, hoping that without her around, Discord would lose interest in tormenting her little friends.
As she approached the sound of Twilight’s screams, she saw a tree—many trees! She was in Sweet Apple Acres, and from one tree dangled Twilight, caught up in a rope.
“Fluttershy!” Twilight screamed as the animated rope worked to foil her attempts at unraveling it. “I just woke up like this! I’ve been trying to escape, but my magic is useless!” Twilight suddenly found herself swinging from one of the branches as the rope coiled around all four of her legs and dangled her like a piñata. “ I don’t know what’s going on!”
“I ... oh my .... I ... did Discord—” muttered Fluttershy, when, suddenly, a gust of color flew in, grabbing Twilight from the tree.
“Rainbow Dash!” said Twilight in excitement, still wrapped in rope.
“I gotcha’, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash smirked confidently. “I wouldn’t leave you hangin’.”
“Har har,” Twilight responded, tightly clinging to the cyan mare. Taking a quick glance down, Twilight was startled to see just how high up in the air the two of them were. “Dash! Why are we so high up!?”
“What? I didn’t hear you, Twilight.” Whether from the winds whipping around their heads, or just Rainbow Dash’s mischievous personality, Twilight instantly understood that her airborne journey wasn’t at an end quite yet.
“Dash, this isn’t funny! Put me down.” Twilight panicked as the now lifeless rope uncoiled and fell to the ground distantly below them.
“Down? Got it!” With a snicker, Rainbow Dash closed her wings and let the two of them slow to a halt and begin a freefall descent. Twilight screamed and clung tightly to her pegasus companion and current life raft.
Rainbow Dash chortled, fully intending to open her wings and glide to a safe landing. Unfortunately, she miscalculated how startled Twilight would be and her friend’s violet mane obscured her vision.
“Twilight, wait! Seriously, move! I can’t see!” With the dexterity of an aspiring wonderbolt, Dash opened her wings in the air to slow their velocity, before flipping and making a pony-sized hole in the roof of the Sweet Apple Acres barn and safely landing in a large pile of hay.
The barn creaked before falling apart like a house of cards.
“Gosh darn it, Rainbow Dash!” Applejack screamed from inside the farmhouse, “I better not be hearing you destroying my barn again! I just had it rebuilt yesterday.”
Rainbow Dash chuckled with the energy of somepony who had just seen her life flash before her eyes.
“Psst, Fluttershy,” Said a small voice.
Fluttershy, tearing her gaze from the destroyed barn glanced to see who was signaling her. Beside her sat an elegant tray of food, with a shiny red apple sitting as the centerpiece. With a small pop, a tiny Discord stuck his head out from the apple like a worm.
“Here’s your breakfast! Be careful that, as you eat, you don’t find any little half-Discords.” Chuckling, he glanced at the chaos of the barnyard and whispered over to Fluttershy, “let’s enjoy the show!” He then quickly dove into a nearby strawberry.
“Renbow Raff!” Twilight yelled through a mouthful of hay, “Don’t ever do anything like that again!” She spoke while swallowing the remainder of the hay.
“What? Save you? Okay then, I won’t,” Rainbow Dash answered playfully.
“No! I mean smash through Applejack’s barn!” Twilight yelled back.
“Huh? But that was totally your fault, Twilight! You got your hair in my eyes. Really, my dear, you could use a haircut.”
“Dash, you-” Twilight blinked. Every time Dash closed her eyes, they changed colors. Her normally magenta eyes changed from green, to blue, to a striped rainbow. Silently gaping at her friend, Twilight tried to formulate a response.
Finally, Dash’s eyes settled on a red hue, before the surrounding whites of her eyes bled in a sickly yellow color. “They say eyes are the window to the soul, Twilight,” the mare that Twilight suspected wasn’t Rainbow Dash finally said. “Frankly, with all your staring, I might think you were some kind of peeping tom. A girl’s gotta have some secrets, right?” She then gave a very girlish wink.
Twilight continued to stare in confusion. Roaring with laughter, Not Rainbow Dash spoke coyly to Twilight. “I know you’ve suspected it, but...I’m really much too into sports to be a mare at all! In fact-”
There was a blinding flash and then Discord was sitting where Rainbow once was. He was laughing hysterically. “I’m not even a colt!”
Twilight jumped back in surprise. “DISCORD!” She was livid now. “Is this your sick idea of fun!?”
Still enjoying himself, Discord said, in Rainbow Dash’s voice, “I sure thought it was fun.”
Twilight shot a steely gaze at Discord. “Then where is Rainbow Dash? You’re not possessing her are you?”
“Not at all, Twilight. Ponies aren’t just objects to me, you know! My best friend is a pony. You can’t possess your friends. You have to let them be their own person.”
“You...you know what I meant!”
“Oh, goodness, you got me. I did know what you meant. Why don’t you just ask that walking pride parade if she’s okay yourself? The cloud she’s on is passing overhead as we speak.” Discord pointed up with an innocent expression.
Twilight glanced up to see Rainbow Dash lying lazily on the cloud above.
Dash looked down and saw them. “Huh? I must have dozed off...I thought I parked this thing over Sugercube Corner...Oh, hey guys! What’s going on?”
Twilight was relieved to see Rainbow Dash safe and sound, but furious at Discord now that she knew the truth.
“Discord tied me up to a tree and then dropped me into Applejack’s barn! If the barn wasn’t there, I would have been pancaked!” Twilight yelled. Behind her, Discord silently mimed everything Twilight was doing, ending by jumping in the air and dropping a bucket of syrup all over the violet mare.
“Arrrrgh!” Twilight screeched, “How does Fluttershy stand you?”
“Aww, cheer up, Miss Sparkle. I think this tantrum you’re throwing is rather sweet.” With an exaggerated motion, he drew one finger from her forehead and down her nose, collecting a dab of syrup. “...I’m sure there’s another pun in here, I just don’t see it. I’ll get it later, I’m sure.”
“It...was pretty fortunate that the barn broke your fall...,” Fluttershy observed. She turned toward Discord. “Were ... were you trying to teach Twilight how to fly?”
"What? No, if I was trying to teach her to fly I would have dropped her. Birds really are the most nurturing teachers," Discord retorted. Fluttershy just grinned knowingly.
“I think it’s very sweet, but you need to be more open with me and my friends,” Fluttershy explained.
“Psh, I’m as open as a bank in the middle of a Wednesday. That doesn’t mean any of you have time to visit.”
“Wait. Didn’t you fly right outta’ Canterlot at your coronation ceremony, Twilight?” Applejack asked, finally joining the group. With a twist, she turned a nearby hose on Twilight to rinse off the remnants of Discord’s poor humor.
Twilight twitched nervously as she rinsed off. “Well ... I was so excited about being a princess and wanted to look my best so I kinda used magic to levitate rather than actually fly.”
“I knew it! Nobody gets that good that quickly!” Rainbow Dash cheered.
“If you need some lessons, you could always come to us,” Fluttershy explained warmly, “we’re your friends, Twilight, we want to help you .... Even Discord.”
A smirk crept onto Discord’s face as he struggled to suppress a laugh.
Rainbow Dash came down from her cloud and was carefully inspecting Twilight’s now thoroughly disheveled wings.
“Oh, I can help with that,” Discord said, holding giant, menacing, steel combs of barbed wire.
Fluttershy glared at him.
“What?” Discord said, now innocently wielding a blow dryer and a pair of safety scissors.
“I can groom my wings myself, thank you very much!” Twilight retorted angrily.
“My, Fluttershy, darling, whatever are you up to? Why is Discord here? And Rainbow Dash? What’s going on here?” asked Rarity, trotting toward the growing spectacle.
“I’m coming Rarity!” Spike shouted, following closely behind. He looked tired from getting up early to help the marshmallow white fashionista dig for precious stones. “I found some really cool gems! I was saving this one for you ... I think you’ll like it ... because I really like it ....” Without thinking, Spike ate the precious gem and continued toward Rarity.
“What was that, Spike?” said Rarity, hardly realizing she was robbed of a gem.
Fluttershy trotted toward Rarity. “Oh, we’re teaching Twilight how to fly.”
“How to fly? How did anypony ever get by not knowing that?” Rarity said sarcastically while glancing at Applejack. She was more than a little shocked when Applejack’s hat picked itself off the startled blonde’s head to reveal a hidden Pinkie Pie.
“Hey! Why were you all gathered, but I wasn’t invited? Doesn’t anypony think I deserve to be in this scene?” With a bound, the pink party mare leapt into a nearby tree and began to wave Applejack’s hat around like a trophy. “See? Isn’t this more fun with everypony here?”
“My...my hat...” Murmured Applejack.
“Oh dear,” said the tree, “I think I have something in my hair.” With a shake of its limbs, Pinkie fell from the branches of the tree, followed by a shower of confetti. “Party mare! In my limbs! Oh, there goes the orchard.”
Without any warning, the trees all around the small gathering of ponies all shook their limbs, a bright flash, and where every tree was, there was now a Discord topiary.
“Oh, I like your taste in orchard design, Applejack. Very refined,” Discord whispered in the indignant mare’s ear. “I might even think you have a thing for me. I must confess, though, that despite my...appearance, I only have one love.” He snatched one of the topiaries and gave it a large smooch. The topiary swooned as well as any bush could.
“Discord! Stop that and bring back mah apples!” Applejack took an aggressive, no nonsense stance.
“Oh, party pooper. Fine.” With a snap of his fingers, all the Discord sculptures shot apples out of their noses before, with a flash, they returned to being apple trees.
At this point, Pinkie, who had gone for quite long enough without being the center of attention, spoke up. “Hey! I hear we’re teaching Twilight how to fly!” She pulled her Party Cannon™ seemingly out of nowhere. “With this, you can fly even faster than the Wonderbolts!”
“Pinkie, I don’t think that’s really a good idea,” Twilight laughed nervously as she backed away from the maniacal mare and her massive metallurgy.
“Shooting mares out of cannons isn’t exactly...proper, Pinkie,” Rarity tried to interject.
“Oh, she’ll be fine,” Discord said, “Look.” With a snap of his fingers, a massive pillow appeared on a distant mountain top. “Couldn’t be safer.”
“You really think the cannon will fire me that far?” Twilight said in a worried tone.
“Good point,” replied Discord. Another snap of his fingers and the cannon grew to at least 10 times it’s original size. Pinkie was overjoyed.
“YAAAY! Party time!” Screamed Pinkie, shoving Twilight into the cannon.
“I... I don’t exactly fee-AAAHHH!” Muttered Twilight as she shot toward the pillow.
Twilight unfurled her wings and oriented against the oncoming air stream. A tremendous lift pushed her up as she hit the perfect angle for flight. For the first time, she wasn’t levitating, this was flight. She soared higher and higher as she targeted the pillow on the mountain top. A sense of euphoria overcame her as she rushed through the clouds. For a brief instant, she thought this was what Rainbow Dash felt like everyday.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were shocked at the unhealthy speed Twilight was going. They darted off into the air as fast they could hoping to catch up to their friend. Rainbow Dash had extensive experience navigating these excessive speeds but knew Twilight wasn’t ready for them.
“You’re going too fast!” Rainbow Dash yelled out to the purple blur in front of her.
“Slow down! ...if you’d like,” Fluttershy quietly yelled from far behind.
Suddenly the purple blur came to an extremely abrupt stop as it slammed into the pillow on the mountaintop with a resounding thud. Everyone including Discord flinched at the impact. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy retrieved their friend from deep within the fabric and carried her between them back to the others.
Twilight’s eyes rolled around in their sockets as stars swirled around her head: “Did... sooommepoonnyy... get the license plaaaate... of that biiird...?” She muttered confused before passing out.
When Twilight awoke she looked up and saw a big white pony with a white horn looking down at her.
“Oh Princess Celestia! I flew! It was wonderful! I didn’t catch any bugs in my teeth either!” Twilight said deliriously.
Rarity looked down and tucked Twilight into the sheets while changing the wet towel on her head. Twilight was in Rarity’s bed back at the Carousel Boutique. The others had gathered just outside the door to her room. Rarity left Twilight and closed the door behind her.
“She’s still delirious,” Rarity said solemnly.
When Twilight woke up again, she found her friends and Discord looking over her. “Bravo!” Discord cheered. “That’s the speed test down, now for the technique test!” He snapped his fingers and a swarm of flaming rings appeared in the sky above them out the window.
“You can’t possibly be thinking of giving Twilight a test in her state!” Applejack objected.
Before Discord could respond Twilight bolted upright: “A TEST? Did someone say TEST?” Twilight demanded.
A crazy look came over the newly minted alicorn: “I’m late for my test!”
Twilight Sparkle ripped off the sheets and dashed out the door, nearly knocking over her friends. Spike had managed to grab onto her tail, he had extensive experience in this, and frantically tried to calm her down.
“Twilight there is no test! Nothing is happening today!” Spike reminded her.
Twilight galloped frantically across Ponyville to her home, the library.
“I need paper and quills, paper and quills, paper and quills...” Twilight repeated to herself incoherently.
She rammed through her own door and went for her supply cabinet. The nocturnal Owlicious, who had been sleeping comfortably on his perch this day, was jolted awake by the commotion. Not realizing Twilight’s current mental state, he tried to be helpful and dropped a pack of quills and a stack of paper in front of her while Spike tried to subtly wave the helpful avian away. Twilight grabbed them and bolted back out ramming another hole in her wall with Spike still dangling behind her. Realizing he should have taken his chance to let go at the library, Spike sighed and resigned himself to each solid thump on the ground.
Twilight galloped to the Everfree Forest. She careened through the vegetation and dodged around the trees. Twilight slowed as she saw the familiar figure of Princess Luna in the distance. The violet mare ran to meet her royal colleague.
Luna was as beautiful as ever, her serene blue eyes sparkling in the dim light of the forest, her massive wings extended to demonstrate their leathery bat-like texture, the claws of her lion’s paws reflexively retracting and extending...
You know, Twilight probably should have realized that that was not the princess of the night at all, but was, in fact, a manticore!
“I’m prepared for my test!” Twilight announced triumphantly, a maelstrom of paper and quills orbiting her head wildly.
The Manticore responded only with a mighty growl, meant to intimidate her. Twilight stood steadfast, completely disregarding the threat.
“Twilight...” Spike spoke carefully as he climbed up on her back.
“I see you’ve been practicing reducing the volume of your Royal Canterlot Voice!” she exclaimed to the beautiful manticore, “Now, what did you have in mind for my test?”
The manticore returned a look of confusion. It was not expecting this at all. It let out another, even more intimidating roar. While it was pleased that the smaller of the two purple figures was cowering like they should be, the larger was oddly calm.
“I see.” Twilight pondered what she had perceived as a question. “I got it!” she exclaimed. She quickly pulled out an abacus and started to shift the beads around while muttering a series of equations under her breath. “If I divide by the current, the answer should be 43 ohms!”
The Manticore, even more confused, became aggressive. It lunged at Twilight. Spike screamed as he tried to pull back on Twilight’s head and get her to retreat.
Just as it was about to hit them, a blast of gypsy magic knocked the manticore from its path.
Confused, Twilight looked over to see Zecora.
“BBBFF?! Why would you do that to poor Luna!?”
“I must insist that I am not your brother, as I was born to another mother. You will not find the ones you hold dear; the Crystal Empire is far from here.”
“Shining, what are you talking about? We’re in the Crystal Empire now! I know you’re not used to your new home,” she chastised, “but you should at least know what your castle looks like!” With a theatrical wave, Twilight motioned to the ramshackle hut that belonged to the zebra in question. Zecora looked confused.
“There is no doubt, that is my home but-”
“So we ARE in the Crystal Empire!” Twilight delighted in catching her brother in his logical fallacy.
Zecora groaned. She then shuddered and added, “I think your mouth is beginning to foam.”
Twilight trotted toward Zecora’s house and stopped by a large boulder on the side of the path.
“Tom? What are you doing here? Rarity has been looking all over for you!” Twilight exclaimed.
She charged up her magic and with a powerful blast teleported the boulder to Rarity’s house where it crashed through the roof. The distinct smell of Zecora’s hut on the boulder gave the startled ponies inside a pretty good idea now where Twilight was.
After quickly consulting with Spike and realizing the alicorn was not quite herself, Zecora decided to play along to get her out of harm’s way: “Come inside, through these gates. Your royal welcome soon awaits.” Zecora ushered Twilight inside.
“Wow, Shiny, you do the BEST Lyra impersonation! Now do Zecora!”
Zecora shrugged off the sheer stupidity of that crazy statement. She began to throw ingredients into the large, steaming cauldron in the center of the room. She threw in beets, onions, and some wheat. She then took a glance at Twilight, who was holding a carrot. She proceeded to stick it into her mane.
She turned to Zecora and exclaimed, “Look Rarity! Does my royal head dress look right?”
Zecora gave a sarcastic smile and said, “It’s an odd look, say, could you hand me that book?” Zecora pointed to a book on the shelf above Twilight.
Twilight stared at her and asked. “Why would you need a frying pan, Applejack?”
“Your rhymes seem to be getting lazy,” Spike added.
“There’s plenty of room in this cauldron, young whelp and don’t think you’re too old for a belt.”
Zecora sighed and retrieved the book from the shelf. She took a single hair from twilight’s mane and threw it into the green, glowing brew. She then dipped a vial into the brew. She handed the vial to Twilight. Twilight stared blankly at the mare before her. Zecora gave a motion encouraging her to take a sip. Twilight sipped and nothing happened.
After a couple of seconds, the room filled with an overwhelming light. Twilight rose. The room had begun to spin. Zecora exited her shack during the commotion, dragging Spike along with her. She waited until it was all over. The sound was unbearably loud. She heard screams, then it stopped. She peeked her head into the shack and saw Twilight on the ground holding her head.
Which had separated entirely from her body.
“TWILIGHT!” Spike shouted in panic, before realizing that both Twilight’s head and body were functioning normally despite no longer being attached.
“Spike, stop shouting,” the head of Twilight responded. “I have a pounding headache.” With a groan, she looked up at Spike and Zecora. After a pause she asked, “Am I smaller or are you two bigger?”
Distant shouting brought the attention of the three occupants of Zecora’s hut to the woods surrounding them. Each of Twilight’s friends appeared from the foliage. They all stopped to stare at the head of Twilight laying on the ground.
Or rather, Discord standing atop the head of Twilight laying on the ground.
“Looks like I got here aHEAD of you all,” the demigod said with a grin. Several smaller Discords dressed in suits stuck their heads out from behind the hut and shouted “Boo, that pun is so old, it existed before we did!”
“I apologize,” Discord lamented as he stepped down from the head, “I’m afraid being good has me off my game.” With a twirl, he scooped up Twilight’s head, gave it a few bounces and, with the form of a pro basketball player, shot Twilight’s dazed head back onto her body where it firmly reattached itself.
Before they could react, he then hummed to himself and straightened it properly.
“That really didn’t help my headache.”
“And I think it gave me one,” Spike groaned.
Zecora was still concerned the Twilight’s state of mind: “A question Twilight, it’s not hard, but can you tell me where you are?”
Twilight looked around as the fog in her mind started to clear: “I’m... at Zecora’s hut?”
“Oh no!” Shouted Discord, “She’s gotten worse! She’s gone completely insane!” Sticking his face up to her snout, he quickly said, “Dingo, it’s me, your father! I’ve come here to tell you that everything is going to be all right. Now, you need to trust me and come back home with your mother and I.”
“Just to make sure...” Pinkie interjected, eyeing her surroundings suspiciously with a giant magnifying glass, bubble blowing fake tobacco pipe and Sherlock cap, “We are at Zecora’s hut, right?”
“Yes, of course,” Discord replied, prompting a quizzical expression from Twilight.
“We are?” The purple alicorn asked.
“No!” Discord affirmed. The dissonance only served to confuse Twilight, and Pinkie, further.
“We are at Zecora’s hut,” Applejack remarked blithely, “Discord just reckons he’s funny.”
“Applejack, sweetie, an impartial panel of judges ‘reckon’ I’m funny.” With a snap, Celestia, Luna and Tom all appeared. The two princesses heads were replaced by Discord’s own face made up in superfluous amounts of makeup. Tom was a rock.
“He’s funny,” said Discord Celestia.
“Handsome and funny,” Winked Discord Luna.
“...” said Tom.
“Well, two out of three ain’t bad, but I hope his scathing review of my material doesn’t affect your opinion of me,” Discord said as he worriedly wrung his hands before snapping and dismissing his posse.
Fluttershy turned to Zecora: “Thank you very much for taking care of Twilight.” Turning back to Discord, Fluttershy asked: “But we really need to get Twilight back to her house so she could rest, could you help with that?”
“Of course I COULD help with that,” Discord drawled with a bored tone, “But teleporting is so boring, and I don’t suppose you could appreciate a trip on the back of an angry manti-dragon...”
“M-M-Manti-w-w-what?” Fluttershy stuttered.
“I suppose our only choice is a nice, relaxing log flume ride,” Discord relented with a snap of his fingers. An enormous tower burst from the ground, taking Zecora’s hut and the rest of the group up to dizzying heights while a long, winding tube extended out and stretched towards Ponyville.
“What’s a ‘log flume’?” Applejack asked.
When water began to fill the tube, Rarity panicked. “No! I am not going down a waterslide. I’ll get my mane all wet and horrid.”
“Whee!” shouted Pinkie as she leapt into the water without a second thought and was rushed away down the slide.
“Oh dear, I hope she doesn’t reach the end of the slide before it’s finished forming...” Discord actually looked genuinely worried.
“Discord, I’m not so sure-” Fluttershy tried to interject.
“4-3-2-GO!” Discord pushed them all into an enormous, carved out wooden tube before leaping in to join them. The roaring waters whisked them away as Rarity screamed and Rainbow Dash shouted.
“THIS IS AWESOME!”
Racing down the winding path, Rarity and Applejack clung to each other and the runaway log while Rainbow Dash extended her wings and raised her hooves in ecstasy. Fluttershy curled into a ball beside Twilight, closing her eyes to the dizzying journey ahead.
“You know,” said Discord, “it occurs to me that we were supposed to be helping Twilight learn how to fly. I don’t know HOW that slipped my mind.” Without a second thought, he pushed the now flailing alicorn off the log and into the air behind them. Squeezing her eyes shut and muttering obscenities, Twilight extended her wings in the hope that it would slow her descent.
After a few moments, she recognized a slight tug around her chest and opened her eyes to see Discord had tied her to a ball of twine and was flying her like a kite.
“Twilight!” Shouted Rainbow Dash, “I’m next. You totally gotta do a trick, though!”
“I’m not doing anything until I get down from here!” Twilight responded as loud as she could.
A bump in the ride startled her, though, and her wings snapped shut. Falling to the water, the taut string somehow managed to continue pulling her along as her back legs sprayed the rushing liquid out on beside her.
“That was totally sweet, Twilight!” Rainbow shouted. “Now get back up in the air!”
“H...how?”
“Flap your wings, duh!”
Gingerly, Twilight opened her wings again and instantly felt a now familiar lift. Giving a few ginger strokes, she found herself slowly ascending back into the air.
“I...I did it!” The surprised Twilight gasped.
“Great,” shouted Discord, “see you back at the library!” He then quickly cut the rope and watched her sail away.
Turning to an irate Rainbow Dash, Discord shrugged and motioned to the twine. “What? I still have enough for you.” The log hit another bump in the slide, somehow catapulting Rainbow Dash up in the air. With an energetic “Yeeehaw!” Discord, dressed in a western cowboy hat and boots, used the remaining twine to lasso the recovering Dash before yanking her along behind them.
With much more control than Twilight, Rainbow Dash reduced her lift just enough to cut the water as she was swiftly dragged along. She then noticed a shadow overhead and looked up to see Twilight beaming with a bright smile that could light up the sky.
“I’m flying!” Twilight exclaimed for the whole world to hear.
“You’re falling!” Rainbow Dash shouted back. “Your angle needs to be more level. Pull up, pull up!”
Wobbling a bit, Twilight leveled out. The entirety of the Everfree Forest stretched out below her. Further ahead, she could see the colorful rooftops of PonyVille and Canterlot Castle glistening with magical splendor on the distant horizon.
“It’s beautiful...” she whispered. Twilight, feeling a bit braver now, tentatively flew through a cloud. The sensation was odd, but she came out feeling more refreshed than she had in a long time.
With a gigantic splash, log reached the bottom of the long ride in a pool just in front of the library. The waterslide vanished just as Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle reached them.
Pinkie Pie jumped out of the pool and pranced around them: “AGAIN! AGAIN!”
“Oh good,” Discord smiled, “You’re alive.”
Fluttershy and Discord stood side by side as Twilight Sparkle touched down in front of them. The alicorn looked up at the draconequus: “Thank you, Discord” Twilight smiled.
“For eating your books? Why, you’re very welcome! Knowledge is for more than filling your head, you know. It does very well at filling the stomach as well,” Discord deflected.
“I’m proud of both of you.” Fluttershy said to the two.
The overpowering sense of ooey gooey friendship was a bit too much for Discord; he grabbed Pinkie Pie and stuffed her into the giant party cannon he had been hiding behind the library for his next big prank. With a large “BOOM!” the cannon fired Pinkie into the wild yonder. With a quick flip of his wrist and a snap, the cannon then flipped onto it’s back and faced in the opposite direction. Appearing on top of it, Discord pulled the cord and fired the cannon again. This time the large hunk of metal propelled itself away into the sky, chasing after it’s poofy pink partier.
Without batting an eye, Rainbow Dash trotted up to Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy.
“Hey, we gotta split too.”
“If...that’s okay, I need to go properly tend to my animal friends...I didn’t even get to feed them this morning, oh they must be so hungry...”
“Oh! I hope to see you tomorrow for the daily rain-cloud clearing!” Exclaimed Rainbow Dash, as she slowly lifted into the air.
“Oh, and you could help me with bringing back all those energetic birds... if you want. It’s just they’re always flying much too fast for me to handle, and they just don’t know when to stop when they’re so young.” Said Fluttershy, introvertedly yet obviously enthralled by the thought of sharing her passion with a close friend.
“No worries there girls!” Exclaimed the inexperienced princess, “I’ve been dying to have some more hooves on experience helping since last year’s Winter Wrap Up!”
Completing their farewells, Twilight turned around and closed her door with her horn. It was at this time when she realized how worn she was by the events of the day, and she collapsed on the ground.
“Owlicious!” She called to her helpful Number 2 Assistant, “Please get Spike some parchment and quills.” Following her command, the loyal owl dropped the objects directly into Spike’s hand, which he caught in the perfect position to write.
“These headaches have been getting me all day, so let’s get this over with so that I can take one of your seven hour bubble baths, Spike.”
It felt peculiar to this inexperienced alicorn to sign with the surname ‘Princess’, especially in a letter to THE Princess. She was still learning about a lot of things, not just flight. She gulped, looking up out the window at Canterlot and the moon, and wondered to herself if she was able to fulfil her future duties despite her inexperience.
Spike looked at her with a simple smile. “Sure thing, Twilight.”
Twilight took a deep breath and prepared for the days ahead. With her friends at her side, she was sure they would help cover for her inexperience. She had dependable friends.
“Dear Princess Celestia,” Twilight read aloud to her faithful dragon. “I am pleased to inform you that today I learned how to FLY!”
“Um, excuse me, Twilight, should ‘fly’ be capitalized...?” Mumbled Spike, looking confused at Twilight.
“I’m also pleased to say that I believe Discord’s behavior is improving. As he has pledged to act with kindness, he also acts with evil, but he means no true harm. With the power of friendship on our side, Discord is becoming a faithful friend to us ponies. Surprisingly, Discord is a main reason I was able to fly today! He’s really quite something, you know? Very talented and kind. He always knows just what to say to lighten the mood, or to make everything around us just so gut wrenchingly hilarious. Like, seriously. Not to mention how handsome he is. Seriously, I don’t want to put too fine a point on it, but he’s really the epitome of what a handsome male demigod of ultimate chaotic power should be. Absolutely flawless and-”
“Discord, cut it out!” Shouted Twilight, realizing Discord had begun to impersonate her.
Spike was confused, and spun around to see Twilight struggling to unwrap a piece of silver duct tape from around her muzzle while Discord carried on about himself in her voice.
“But really, he did help me fly.
I believe I can make you proud, Princess Celestia.
Your faithful stu...no, wait,” Twilight said with a smile.
“Twilight?” Spike looked up at her.
“It’s simple, Spike. Simple. Just put,
Love,
Princess Twilight Sparkle”
Author's Note
This was very much an experimental thing. All in all, I think it went really well. I was never expecting that we would write the next "My Little Dashie" or "Fallout Equestria", but I'm still pleasantly surprised with the result. I give it a Actually-Not-Shit out of ten. I also look forward to doing more of these every week.
