Chapters Do you remember when you became my student? How your magic went out of control on account of a Sonic Rainboom made by your friend Rainbow Dash? Do you remember how you hatched Spike and turned your parents into house plants? And, when you saw me, you pulled yourself together and fixed everything?
Do you remember the years you spent growing up and learning under me? Do you remember how every time you had a question, I pointed you in the right direction, but never gave you the answer? I always trusted you to figure it out. Do you remember how I never doubted you, even if I knew you were wrong? That's what good teachers do.
Do you remember when I told you to make some friends? How you went to Ponyville and met the five best friends you could have asked for? Do you remember all your adventures with them and how, in the end, you became a princess and an Alicorn? I remember.
Do you remember when your friends grew older while you remained young? Do you remember the joy you felt when they each had their children? You looked like a proud aunt. Do you remember helping to raise them? You couldn't have been happier if they had been your own foals.
Do you remember the pain you felt when you realized they would die? Do you remember the sorrow you felt when Pinkie Pie stopped being able to throw parties? When Apple Jack stopped being able to buck apples? When Dash stopped flying because of her arthritis, and Rarity's eyesight started going, or when Fluttershy could hardly speak with her animals?
Do you remember how hard you cried at their funerals? Each time was like the first. No, worse, because each time you had one less friend and one less person to console you until eventually you just had me. Do you remember when we put your last friend in the ground? Do you remember how you said you would never love anypony ever again?
Do you remember how their children's children called you Grandma? Do you remember how many times you broke your promise to never love, and how many times you remade it, only to have it dashed again and again?
Do you remember the pain you felt when they all died? It is the pain of a thousand years and more, and it will never get better.
What's the point of remembering all these moments? They're gone, done, dead. Dredging them up just reopens wounds and rubs salt in them, which brings the bitter sting and I don't want to remember! I don't want to remember the way my heart used to beat and now it's obsolete, as if it never came back from stone.
I don't want to remember the day and the way you used to say you loved me. I don't want to see the memory of us being happy, I don't want to think about days spent in court, bored out of my skull, because being there meant being close to you. What's the point of looking at things that aren't anymore? Because when you do, you can only wish they had ended up differently to save you the savage heartache they left behind.
You said you loved me, and later you said you hated me. And despite the smile and the laughter, inside it hurt. Inside I screamed and my heart pounded on the bars of the cell of my chest. I died a little that day, and in that moment of death, you put me in a prison for a thousand years and I saw it all!
I saw the way your sister nuzzled you that first day. I saw the way the ides of May came and went, and the way the flowers wilted in the fall. I saw it all.
I saw the way you would come and mourn me and heard the way you talked to me and I realized it was all my fault. I was insensitive and you got mad, and that got me mad and I killed that pony. Before I had time to take it back, the neck I'd cracked, the body was slack.
And I realized... Death was pretty fun to watch. And I did it again to a different pony, and again, and again. And then I found that what I really enjoyed was the suffering they had right before they died. It wasn't as much suffering as my heart felt. But every time they were in pain, I wasn't. I could laugh at their misfortune because it wasn't mine.
I remember when I was finally free of my prison. I saw a whole group of foals and their teacher. I could have killed them all, but I didn't. Because back then, I was trying to apologize to you. My sorry was a prank and the prank was no good because I was the only one laughing. But I tried, I did, to get others to laugh. Instead, I broke minds, brought chaos, and was a rock again at the end of the day.
And then... You gave me another chance. Except that I will never get the second chance I really want.
Do you remember when we were younger, how we would get into the biggest fights? And we would yell until the castle walls shook and eventually Mother or Father would tell us to stop it. We would stop for a while and start back up later.
Do you remember when I first got Philomena? You threw such a big hissy fit about it that you eventually got your way and ended up with a baby Wendigo and you named it Nocturne and I said it was a stupid name. You got mad, refused to speak to me for days.
Do you remember the day you loved it to death? One moment you were hugging it and the next it was so much mist and was gone. You started bawling. And I walked over and let you play with Philomena for the rest of the week. Do you remember?
Do you remember when I was in love with Discord? Do you remember how jealous you acted and the way you would sulk when I went to meet him instead of playing with you?
Do you remember when he turned evil? You could have said 'I knew it' or 'I told you so.' Instead you said 'I am sorry.' Do you remember the day we found the Elements of Harmony and defeated him? You could have said 'Good riddance' or 'He had to be destroyed.' Instead you said 'I am here for you.' And you were.
Or what about when Mother and Father died? Do you remember it? How I was the one who cried that time? I wept, and you consoled me at their funeral. And when it was time for us to take our places, it was you who rose the sun for those first few days.
I never got to say thank you.
Do you remember when you had that fling with my faithful student, Star Swirl? How, when he left you, I gave you a shoulder to cry on, and a kick on the rump for thinking it could work with such a snobby pony? He got better eventually, but you still refused to ever see him again.
I never told you how much that broke my heart.
Do you remember when we got into an argument and I said that anyone could raise the moon? Do you remember how I said I would one day prove it to you? I never intended to actually do it.
Do you remember the night I banished you? You might not have heard me over the sound of the Elements sending you away.
If you did, the last words you heard me say were "I'm sorry." Do you remember?
Do you remember when we were happy to see each other? When we would make excuses to meet out int he garden for a little time together? Do you remember the way you used to grin at me and give me the most adoring look?
I remember. I remember the way my heart used to soar when seeing you. I remember the way I longed for you, the way I wanted to be with you always.
Do you remember those days? When we were young and love was the most wonderful thing to us? When we had no reason to dislike each other?
Do you remember how, after Mother and Father died, I shunned you? I apologize for that. Your tricks and pranks were good, but I wasn't up to them at the time. Do you remember how you tried to console me and I yelled at you?
Do you remember the day you killed your first pony? The day you decided to become a tyrant instead of a king? The day that you went too far and I could no longer forgive you? Isn't it funny how a thousand years and more can change a pony's perspective?
Do you remember our first kiss? It was in the garden where you eventually wound up. You said the flowers were beautiful, second only to me. Do you remember?
Do you remember the way that guard caught us snogging? My rear was sore for weeks afterwards, but Mother wasn't as mad as she pretended. Back then you were a perfectly nice young chaos monster.
Do you remember the day I told you I hated you? You should, it was the same day my sister and I brought the Elements of Harmony to bear against you. Do you remember that? The first time we wielded the power, uncontrolled, and turned you to stone.
More importantly, do you remember the thousand years you were like that? Do you remember with your immortal mind the way every single second passed? Do you remember seeing me come out to weep in front of you, because my only friend was gone?
Do you remember?