Discord's House of Chaos

Discord.

Once upon a time, it was a name that struck fear into the hearts of mortal ponies. Then for an age it was the name of a mythical creature, spoken of by parents trying to scare their children into behaving. "Be good little fillies, or Discord will get you," they'd say. Then another eon was spent in total ignorance to his existence, and even the fairytale version of him became obscure and unknown.

Then finally, he broke free again. Then he was imprisoned again. Then he got paroled. And now Discord was a name one could find in the yearly census.

And so Equestria learned to fear Discord once again.

***

In a small side alley in the depths of the city, two stallions dragged along a pair of burlap sacks which clattered and clanged with the sound of the metal inside.

"Are you sure we're good to hide out here, boss?" asked a tan earth pony as he dragged along the larger sack.

The grey pegasus in front of him grunted in frustration. He spat out the end of the second bag that and let it drop loudly to the floor. He winced as it did. Then he turned to face his underling.

"Mask, listen to me," he said seriously. "I messed up. I admit that. It's my fault, and I'm sorry. But listen to me... We can't let ourselves get caught now. Not after all the trouble we went through for this."

Mask looked over his shoulder nervously.

"But boss—"

"I know!" the pegasus seethed. "I know. But it's far too late. They're not going to forgive and forget after this, and the law will be after us in a matter of hours. All we can do is hole up here, and just wait it out. We can make a run for Fix's house in a few days when we've got a clear getaway. He'll be able to help us out. If nopony catches us with the stolen goods, they can't prove we did anything!"

"I... I still don't know..." the earth pony fretted. "Shady, are you sure this place is safe?"

"Positive. It's been abandoned since it was bought out by Mixer Construction Company."

He flapped his wings and hovered up a little way. In the dark of the alley, one could only barely see the fire escape above them, but Shady soon glided back down with the bottom rung of the ladder held in his teeth. He let it go, and the sound of the ladder striking the floor also echoed through the alley.

"Hey!" Mask whispered. "Careful! Somepony'll hear!"

Shady snorted.

"Nopony lives around here anymore. Quit worrying."

He grabbed the bag he was carrying before and flew up a level, depositing it on the balcony the fire escape led up to. Then he fluttered down and helped his companion with the second bag as he climbed up as well.

"Right, get the ladder."

Mask began to pull the ladder back up again while the boss then turned to the glass window next to them and bucked it in. It shattered into tiny pieces, and Mask was startled by the sudden loudness.

"Oh, come on! There's a door right there!" he complained.

"It'll be locked. Easier to break the window."

The earth pony trotted over to the wooden door and turned the handle, easily unlocking it. Shady gaped at him.

"Okay, be fair, that's like a one in a million thing. There's no way you could have known it was open."

Mask shrugged and picked up the sack again.

"Shall we?"

***

The Sunshine House apartment complex was indeed abandoned. More than that though, it was dusty and derelict. The place was meant to be demolished years ago, but as it happened, the company that purchased this property went bankrupt some time shortly afterwards and this never happened.

Now it was aged and ugly. Walls were missing and broken, rats and other animals lived in the dark corners of the building, graffiti and litter could be found sporadically around the place, and what few rooms still had furniture or any other kind of indication that there was once life here were completely trashed.

It was a hollow shell of the place it once was.

"Eugh. Are you serious, Shady? We have to stay here?"

"I know it doesn't look like much, but—"

"Here?! Look at this place! It's filthy! It's full of rats! It's cold!"

"Mask, please shut up."

The pegasus trotted out of the small room they entered through and looked out into the empty corridor. It was massively long and straight. Standing in it, you could see from one end to the other, and all the doors in-between. Some were left hanging open. Others were closed. Locked even. At least one had been torn off and lay in the middle of the floor at the far end.

"Hmm... If I recall correctly, some vagrants used to live in the basement of this complex. It should be warmer down there."

"We're going to sleep in the basement?"

"Yes. We're going to sleep in the basement. Have you got a problem with that?"

"Umm... No..."

"Because if you want to leave, you can go right outside and hail a pegasus taxi right now. Or a police patrol."

"Fine! Point taken!"

"Good. Get the sack."

Mask grumbled, but obediently did so, and followed his partner in crime down the dusty corridor. As he did, a chill wind blew through.

***

"See? This isn't so bad."

Compared to the rest of the complex, it really wasn't. The basement was still full of litter, but it was all brushed into the corner. Rats still scurried about, but they knew to retreat into the holes in the wall when the two stallions entered. And it was definitely warmer down here, even if the ancient boiler in the corner wasn't actually functional.

There was even a relatively clean bed here, likely taken from one of the apartments above. Relatively being the important word. It was covered in dust and the mattress was crusty, but it wasn't coated with grime or full of animal faeces like some other parts of the building were.

"I guess not..."

"Hey, come on. Smile! Show a little optimism!" Shady encouraged. "Things may not look so good right now, but you'll see! This will all be worth it in the end..."

He dumped his burlap sack onto the floor and the contents spilled out. Plates and goblets of silver and gold, loose bits of jewellery, a fancy looking candlestick, some formal cutlery, and even some folded silk bed sheets as well. Mask dropped his load as well, which also spilled out slightly, revealing similar contents.

All were items one could reliably expect to find in an upper class manehattanite's home.

"You'll see," Shady promised, "Just bear with me for now. You won't regret this when you get your share in a few days."

"I hope so, boss."

***

The night was already late when the two stallions arrived, so it was well into the early morning when they finally drifted off to sleep. There was only a single bed, but it was big enough for them to not worry about kicking each other in the night.

The sheets could have been thicker though. Despite this room being warmer than the drafty building above them, it was still pretty cold. Mask had lamented not bringing along a unicorn friend of his who knew a spell for re-heating water, entertaining fantasies of her getting the old boiler they slept next to up and running again.

He had also considered using the silk bed sheets they had stolen as an additional layer, but Shady had refused, on the grounds that, "we don't want to get the merchandise filthy as this place."

Sometimes, he really resented the boss.

Hahahahaha...

Mask sat up in bed, looking around for whatever woke him up. There was nothing in the darkness.

Weird... I could have sworn I heard the sound of...

He shrugged it off.

"Probably just my imagination," he muttered.

Heheheh...

He shot upright again.

I know I heard something that time.

Quietly as he could, the earth pony climbed out of the bed and tiptoed across the floor of the basement. He listened for the sound again, trying to find the source, but it never came a second time. Instead, there was a creaking somewhere above him.

He looked over to the corner of the room, at the doorway that led to the wooden stairs to the ground level. He heard another creaking sound and saw silver moonlight spill in. The door at the top of the stairs had opened.

Wait a moment. There shouldn't be moonlight there.

The top of those stairs were still inside the apartment complex, and they'd left that in darkness. What was that light?

He edged his way across the floor and then poked his head around the corner, to look up the stairs. There was some kind of light coming from above, but where exactly it was coming from or what it was, he couldn't tell.

Nervously, Mask began to climb the stairs.

***

...Well, this is unexpected.

When Mask reached the top of the stairs, he found that the light hadn't come from anything in the building. Sunshine House was gone, and he had instead exited into what looked like an operating theatre. The silvery light from before was coming from the theatre's lights above them, not the moon.

In the middle of the room, a chocolate brown earth pony mare lay on an operating table, eyes closed and breathing slowly. She was hooked up to a large machine which was making a low humming noise, and her face was half covered by her own long, white mane.

He stepped closer and ran a hoof along her cheek.

"...Mother?"

"You're not allowed in here."

Mask twisted around suddenly to face whoever was speaking. It was enough of a shock when he heard the voice in the first place, not having noticed anypony when he came in, but it paled in comparison to the next surprise.

The colour drained from his face as he saw a draconequus looming above him. Discord, the spirit of chaos, smiled at him. His long, snake-like body would have made him as tall as the room's ceiling, even if he were standing on the ground. Instead though, he was floating in the air and bending down so that his head was closer to Mask's.

And he was dressed up like a doctor.

"I apologise, but only staff are allowed in here. There is an operation in progress, you see."

"Wh- What are you going to do to me?!"

"'Do to you'?" Discord repeated, frowning. "I'm not going to do anything. I took an oath. You know? 'Do no harm'. Pffff. We'll simply have to call security."

He snapped a talon, and a trio of police ponies in blue uniforms appeared.

"Hey, that's our guy!" shouted one of them, a cobalt blue mare.

They all drew truncheons and rushed at him.

"OH, PLEASE NO!" Mask shouted.

He cowered on the floor, attempting to indicate surrender. The three ponies were about to beat him when they were suddenly frozen. And not metaphorically frozen either. They were literally encased in ice, and with a baton just seconds from impacting with Mask's face. He whimpered at the sight of it, staring up at them as he lay on his back.

Discord's face appeared above him, leaning over the circle of ponies that surrounded him and blocking out the light. He now wore the uniform of a police sergeant.

"My, my," he tutted. "Somepony's broken more than just some hospital regulations, hasn't he?"

With another click the frozen ponies disappeared, and suddenly the stallion was hanging in the air, suspended by invisible strings. He struggled to move while Discord walked up in front of him. He had put on a set of reading glasses and was examining a checklist.

"Robber Mask," he read out. "Unfortunate name. Quite the career criminal, I see. You've burgled three houses and two major business outlets in this city in the past month alone. You and your friend. What's his name? Ah yes, 'Shady Dealings'. Also unfortunate. I don't understand what it is with pony names. What else could you have been but thieves with names like that?"

Mask whimpered again.

"Oh, hush now. I'm not here to hurt you, dear boy. I'm a new draconequus now! Sworn to use my magnificently chaotic powers only for good. And what better good is there than helping my fellow lost souls find the light, just like me?"

He raised his lion paw and eagle claw, and clapped them together. Those strings that Mask was being hung from suddenly became visible, just in time for a giant pair of scissors to spring into being and cut them. He fell to the floor in a heap and immediately scrambled to get away from Discord.

"There's no escape, you know."

The door that led into the operating theatre vanished in a flash of light.

"Hold on. I feel like I'm forgetting something..."

Discord stroked his beard for a moment.

"Oh! Of course! Silly me."

Another click and another flash of light then deposited Shady Dealings in the middle of the room as well. He sat on his haunches as he stared into space, unblinking and seemingly disoriented.

"Hellooooooooo?" said Discord, waving a paw in front of him.

That snapped him out of it, and Shady immediately noticed the chimera in front of him and leapt back in terror. He didn't make a noise, unlike Mask, but he was obviously just as frightened. His eyes were wide as dinner plates, and he backed away from Discord nervously until he hit a wall.

"Hmm. Same reaction. Curious."

There was another flash. The two ponies now found themselves sat next to each other, and Discord floated just in front of them. They tried to flee again, but this time they were cuffed and attached to a large ball and chain. Looking at each other first, and then down at themselves again, they realised that they were both in orange jumpsuits now.

"Now, let me explain," said Discord, "The both of you have broken a lot of rules tonight. And on several other nights. This city already has enough crime, and Princess Celestia would rather there be less of it. Don't get me wrong, I like the chaotic mess that this city is right now, and in old times I'd be the last person to take orders from old dreary. But as we've established, I'm reformed now. And now, I'm going to reform you two as well."

Mask and Shady looked at each other.

"You mean you're... going to put us into rehab?" asked Shady.

"What? No!" Discord slapped his face. "I said that I was reformed, not that I became boring! Rehab centres are no fun at all. They're where fun goes to die. You'd think a hospital full of utterly mad ponies would be a great place for a creature like me, but I just find them depressing."

He vanished and appeared behind the two of them, putting an arm around both their necks and pulling them together in a big hug.

"No! We're going to do this Discord style! You two and myself are going to play a little game. The setting? This apartment complex. The rules? There are none! I'm just going to set you two loose on this place, and by the morning you're both going to walk out of here as new ponies. I guarantee it."

"You're not gonna... use mind control on us... are you?" asked Mask.

"Yeah, I heard about you and your freaky powers!" Shady agreed. "What was it you did to those mares? That thing that made them turn grey?"

Discord blinked.

"You're remarkably well informed. Well, yes. It's true. I can just use a little chaos magic and fix you up right away, at the cost of making you monochrome grey. And you're already grey, so it hardly matters. BUT. I don't think that's very sporting of me."

There was another flash, and suddenly he was back in front of them.

"We're doing this the old fashioned way. I'm going to help you change your ways, and I'm going to do it without magically affecting your mind at all. That is the one rule. It's a rule for me. And if I can't do it, then you two win the game, I'll let you leave with all your stolen goods, and I'll even concede a victory prize of erasing all knowledge of your crimes. You'd effectively have a clean slate to start again."

Shady and Mask shared another concerned look.

"...And if we lose?"

"Well, if you lose, then I don't do anything. You'd be good ponies, and turn yourselves in out of remorse for your most heinous crimes."

"We'd turn ourselves in?!" Shady asked incredulously. "Like we'd ever do that!"

Discord rolled his eyes knowingly.

"You say that now. Let's just wait and see. So, little ponies. Are you ready to play?"

"Do we have a choice?"

"Now that you mention it... No."

Discord raised his claw and clicked. Wind began to pick up in the operating theatre, seemingly coming from nowhere. Then a tornado began to form. The room itself dissolved and the dust and pigment was scattered away in the wind, leaving only a white emptiness and a raging hurricane that the three stood in the middle of.

"Good luck, you two!" Discord called.

And then he disappeared into the void, leaving them alone in the storm.

END.