Pinkie and I

by Corwin

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 3451

First person human in Equestria is lucky to have a friend like Pinkie.

This is a story about Pinkie Pie, the ®Only Human in Equestria™, and the friendship they shared.
First person, self-insertion, self-indulgence, lovey doveys, and attempts at feeliness.
This story is dedicated to BDN Fatlus who asked me to write this story back during the summer, and who has been very patient with me as I have kept him waiting so long. I haven't really been on Fimfic much lately. Some of you may know that I'm primarily an artist. If this whole experience has taught me anything, it's that I'm really not much of a writer. But I do love the pink one, and this story is for her.

Published 2013-02-26 20:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-26 20:10:02 UTC

Pinkie and I

Three days.

Seventy-two hours.

And she was still going.

That perfect little party pony was still going. I knew that she was committed to having fun. That was only one of many reasons I admired her so much, but even I had wondered if she could pull it off. She had booked some crazy sessions in the past, but nothing like this.

There was little Maple Nut's cuteceanera, to start. I had promised to stick by Pinkie through it all, and of course I had a blast. Only she could have made a party full of little kids that fun. We danced and played games and gorged ourselves on treats, as is typical of an evening with the pink one. It was only the beginning.

Immediately after most of the guests had left, a wedding reception began. I never found out the names of the happy couple, but it didn't really matter. I was having too much fun to care.

Apparently, the bride's nephew had a bar mitzvah planned immediately afterwards. I've forgotten what horrible pony pun they made out of bar mitzvah. Perhaps it's for the best. At any rate, this third party was even more wild than the previous two. We joined traditional dances and hoisted the young colt above our heads on a chair. He looked terrified at first, but Pinkie instilled a bit of confidence in him with a little impromptu song. She's always doing that. She's just full of little songs.

After the little colt's bar mitzvah equivalent, most of the next three days were a pinkish blur of sugar and dancing and laughter. I didn't know how many parties Pinkie had lined up, but neither she nor I stopped for three days and nights. I don't remember much, but I had a lot of fun to say the least. I'd partied with Pinkie many times before, but never attempted to keep up with her like this. It felt as though I was sharing a part of her world that I never had before.

All good things must come to an end, and it's the same with the wildwood weed. The guests had all gone, leaving Pinkie and I alone. The first thing I noticed was the lack of music. Pinkie's old-fashioned gramophone, which had been producing a steady stream of party tunes, seemed to cut out abruptly. Or maybe the record had been over for some time. I was gradually regaining focus, as if coming down from a beautiful high.

I looked around the room and saw it in a total state of disarray. It looked as though a war had been fought between treats and party supplies. The Cakes would certainly have been upset if the record-breaking party marathon hadn't been so profitable for them.

As I surveyed the beautiful mess, my attention was drawn to the center of the room. There she was; eyes completely shut, but still dancing weakly on all fours and mumbling a happy song. The scene was thoroughly adorable, but she was definitely done for. It was at that moment that my own energy seemed to leave me all at once. The three solid days of frenzied activity seemed to suddenly catch up to me shortly after I stopped. My limbs weighed a thousand pounds each and it took a great deal of concentration just to keep from collapsing right there on the floor.

There was certainly no way Pinkie and I were cleaning up this mess tonight. I could barely walk and she seemed more delirious than usual. I slowly limped over to the barely moving little pony. My voice was tired and slow.

"Pinkie?"

She continued to rock back and forth on her hooves and babble her quiet, wordless song.

"Pinkie.... The party's over. Everyone's gone."

She turned to face me, broadly smiling, and her eyes finally opened halfway. They were beautiful and blue and they shone with the light of unbridled enthusiasm, even when clouded with the need for sleep. She spoke in a wiggly little voice. I could barely hear her.

"Noooo.... The party's never over.... The party... Will last... Foreverrr...."

The last word trailed off into a big yawn. Her nose scrunched up and her eyes shut tight as her mouth opened wide enough to take up most of her face. This little display had an effect on me, as I began to yawn as well. I think I had the same effect on Pinkie as she started another yawn. I couldn't help but yawn again either. If I hadn't turned away, we might still be there trading yawns to this very day. I spoke.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

I bent over to pick her up, but she stumbled away and started quietly whining. The weary smile returned to her face as she continued her feeble dancing and singing. Poor thing. She just couldn't stop partying. She deserved a nice comfy bed, and I knew she was liable to drop any minute. Then again, I was too, and I wouldn't be able to take her upstairs if I was asleep myself.

Suddenly, a brilliant idea came into view. I felt quite pleased with myself.

"Pinkie! We've got one more party to host!"

Pinkie's expression lit up and she jumped a full half-inch off the ground. It was the greatest display of exuberance I'd seen from her since I realized the guests had gone. Her voice was brighter and more energetic than it had been a moment ago, but not by much.

"Oh! Who's this one for? What kind of party is it? What do we need to do?

It was time to put my cunning plan into action.

"It's a party for just you and me, Pinkie! A slumber party! Let's go upstairs and have some fun!"

Pinkie brightened up again.

"Oh, boy! Let's go! I can't wait to get all snuggly wuggly in my jammie wammies and-"

She dropped. Flat on the floor she lay. Her eyes were shut and she was snoring in a way that made my heart melt. Time for bed.

I was feeling half-dead. I had somehow managed to last longer than Pinkie, and it was all I could do just to keep my eyes open. As such, it took all of my strength to crouch down and lift up the peacefully sleeping pony. Despite bouncing everywhere she goes and occasionally strolling through thin air, Pinkie is heavier than she looks. Because she was sleeping, she hung slack in my arms. Dead weight.

Nonetheless, I was determined to get her up those stairs and into bed. Each step felt like an entire staircase unto itself. The combination of my exhaustion and her weight were making the whole process extremely difficult. After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the top. Her room was down the hall a ways.

I turned the knob and leaned into the door, entering the room. Both arms still cradling Pinkie, I kicked the door closed behind us. Her bed was layered with lots of quilts and comforters and sheets and blankets and pillows and looked like just about the most comfy sight I'd ever seen.

I pulled back all six or seven blankets with one hand while holding Pinkie over my shoulder with the other. I carefully laid her out across the bed and draped the covers over her. She snuggled into the pillow and made a cute little noise that made me sigh with infatuation.

For a moment, I just watched her lying there. Even though she was in a deep sleep, she wore a smile. I thought back over all the laughs we shared and the parties we had. I remembered all the picnics and adventures and sunny days spent playing in the grass. I remembered all the time we spent together and I felt so glad to have a friend like Pinkie.

I turned to leave the room when I heard a bit of weak mumbling from her. I turned back to face the little pony. Her eyes were still closed, but she spoke. I couldn't make out what she said, her voice was so quiet. I leaned in closer and asked her to repeat herself. In a tiny voice, she spoke again.

"It's supposed to be a slumber party... Just you.... And me...."

That's all I needed to hear. I took of my shoes and pants and laid them on the floor beside the bed. I tip-toed over to the other side and slid beneath the covers. Sinking into the soft, warm bed was like soaking in a pool of sweet clarified butter. I turned to my side and wrapped my arms around Pinkie from behind, ready to spoon for the night.

She squirmed a bit and turned herself around to face me. My arms wrapped around her back, Pinkie opened her eyes for the second time that night. She looked up at me with a sleepy expression. She sighed happily and nuzzled her face into my body, falling asleep again. I could hear and feel her adorable snoring against my chest.

I was happy. It may as well have been the most peaceful and contented moment of my life. I decided to relax and do something I'd always wanted to try: I leaned forward and buried my face in Pinkie's curly hair. I inhaled the sweet scent of candy and baked treats and rested in her softness.

All was right in the universe. My arms were wrapped around the pony I love and my face was nestled in her bountiful mane. My last thoughts before falling asleep were of all the fun we'd had over the last three days.

We slept peacefully for the next 18 hours.

The obnoxious blast of a flüglehorn brought me to life the next day. Tired eyes fluttered open to the sight of a fluffy pink ball zipping around the room. It seemed to be singing some sort of rousing polka tune.

"WAKE UP! Good morning! Howdy doo! It's great to see your eyes!

And now that you are conscious, Pinkie's got a big surprise!

Just look out through the window, greet this beautiful spring day!

The sun is out, the grass is green, let's play and play AND PLAY!"

I have learned something through my time here in Ponyville: When Pinkie is ready to play, it is time to play. I sat up in bed and stretched all the pops and kinks out of my bones. Pinkie's song had devolved into haphazard shouting of the words "PLAY", "FUN", "MORNING", "SMILE" and the like. She was bounding about the room at an ever more erratic pace.

Figuring she should be stopped before she broke something, I summoned the strength to dive out of bed in her general direction. Pinkie gave out a squeal and broke into giggles as she was tackled to the ground. She slipped out of my grasp with ease. In a flash she was hopping up and down on my back. Although she's a fully-grown pony, she didn't seem all that heavy. Last night's trip up the stairs had been quite a job, but her new enthusiasm seemed to leave her much lighter on her hooves. It felt like the equivalent of being repeatedly thumped with a soft pillow.

"YAY! You're up! Come on, get dressed, it's time to have FUN!"

The 18 hours must have really rejuvenated her. She was full of even more energy than usuall, and that was saying quite a lot. She jumped off and landed on the floor in front of my face.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and make breakfast! You get all clean and snappy and meet me in the kitchen!"

She cartwheeled out the door. It would be safe to assume she cartwheeled down the stairs as well, although I didn't see.

I had been staying at Sugarcube Corner since shortly after arriving in Ponyville, in an extra room across the hall from Pinkie. Apparently, the Cakes had been looking for another lodger before I had arrived, and the bakery sure did benefit from a pair of hands. I was lucky to have shown up at such a time. I was lucky to have shown up at all.

I crossed the hall to get some fresh clothes and a shower. After sprucing up, it was down the staircase to greet the pink one.

Pinkie had quite a spread laid out. Generously frosted treats covered the breakfast table. She ate like a fat, spoiled kid with access to all the goodies of its desire. This didn't bother me, of course. The rest of the ponies in town ate more like, well, ponies. I was happy to get delicious baked desserts, oats and hay being the alternative.

Pinkie was sitting on the opposite side of the table, a bright smile across her face. She greeted me.

"Good morning, sleepy! I hope I made enough, I know you're probably pretty hungry."

I grabbed a cinnamon roll and began to eat. It was like sex. Pinkie has an unpredictable magic about her. Sometimes she'll make the world's best cinnamon roll. Sometimes she'll make a batch of blackened, rock-hard cupcakes. I was happy to enjoy the former.

As I ate the cinnamon roll, Pinkie looked a bit agitated. I asked her what the matter was. She fidgeted a bit and spoke.

"So.... Are you SURE I made enough food?"

She was so transparent. I replied.

"This cinnamon roll should be plenty, Pinkie, thanks!"

She looked relieved.

"Oh, good! So.... you don't mind if...."

I assured her it was fine, and she proceeded to hungrily scarf down every bit of food she'd laid out. Within a few seconds, it was all gone. She was licking crumbs off the table's surface. It was obvious who she'd made all that food for.

As she lay there on the table, a fully contented look in her eyes, I asked her what it was she had planned for us today. She jumped up, remembering why she woke me in the first place.

"Oh yeah!"

A sly expression appeared on her face.

"Turn around..." she said, a mischievous lilt in her voice.

Warily, I complied. She jumped from the table and I braced for what was about to come. That little pink thing landed squarely on my shoulders. She was sat behind my head, her rear legs hanging down on either side. I had prepared for her landing, but still wobbled a bit.

She giggled and effected an Appleachian accent as she tried to straighten out by directing my head. "WOOAAH, now! Steady, bwah, steady!"

Once she was stable, she leaned forward and wrapped something around my eyes.

"This is so you don't peek! I've got a big surprise for you."

I began to protest, but she interrupted.

"FORWARD!"

Forward I went. Why not? She kept her perch on my shoulders, leaning over the top of my head and directing us out the door and into the street. Ponies about town occasionally murmured and giggled, but it didn't bother me. They knew all about Pinkie's human.

After a while, the sounds of Ponyville began to die down. Pinkie commanded me to "STOP!". We halted abruptly, and she untied the blindfold. She jumped off my shoulders and landed on two legs in front of me.

"TA-DAAAA!"

Before us spread the most beautiful meadow anyone could envision. It looked like something out of Bambi. A wide field of grass and flowers with a gentle creek running through it. The clearing was surrounded on all sides by trees, but it spread out abuntantly. The whole scene just shouted serenity. I spoke.

"This place is beautiful, Pinkie."

She giggled again and replied, "I know, isn't it? I got lost the other day chasing butterflies and I found myself here. I thought it would be a good idea to bring you! We're going to do something... together."

That last word was intoned with a strange, but familiar, quality. I gulped.

"W-what did you have in mind, Pinkie?"

That mischievous expression returned to her face. "Well... We're all alone here... Come on. No one will know..."

Christ, the things this mare was doing to me. I began to sweat. My tone was serious.

"Are you sure, Pinkie? Is this what you want?"

"Hee hee, yeah! And with my favorite human too!"

I was nervous. She spoke again.

"So let's DO it! Let's.... ROLL AROUND IN THE GRASS TOGETHER!"

She skipped away and began to squirm and writhe and roll back and forth in the soft grass. I was dumbstruck. Who could possibly have expected any less from her? She was the most special person I had ever met. Her innocence, her enthusiasm, her ENERGY was unlike anyone else.

I sighed happily and joined her in the grass.

As we rolled, jumped, chased, and tackled through the grass for some time, the sun began to near its highest point in the sky. We both knew what that meant, and an unnaturally loud grumbling from Pinkie's stomach only drove the point harder home. How she could have been hungry again after such a breakfast is a mystery, but Pinkie's ways always seem to defy explanation

After the thunderous report from her little pink tummy, she looked a bit embarrassed. She giggled nervously and stood up on all fours.

"Whoopsie! Looks like it's getting to be that time... Back in a flash!"

Before I could respond, she was off like a rocket. She sped back through the trees and out of sight. I briefly wondered how I'd find my way back to Sugarcube Corner, seeing as how I'd been led here blindfolded. Before I had time to panic, however, she was back. She had the handle of a large picnic basket clenched between her teeth, and she was hopping at a leisurely pace back through the trees into the meadow.

I didn't dare raise the obvious question, and instead decided to open up the basket and see what she had for us. Sandwiches in saran wrap, of course, what else is there to be had on a picnic?

"Peanut butter & jelly!"

She had already torn one open and was getting to work while I poured milk from a thermos into two plastic cups.

I enjoyed my sandwhich while she enjoyed several of her own. When we were both finished, her face and mane were dotted with flecks of peanut butter and jelly. I reached up with a cloth napkin to wipe her face, but she just set about attempting to lick away the mess.

As she stretched and contorted her face and tongue, I decided to sit back in the cool grass and enjoy the show. Inspiration struck as I observed her bizarre facial expressions and out came the old sketch pad. I always keep it tucked away somewhere, with a fresh pencil held in its spiral.

A circle, some guidelines, and a bit of flourish to capture the image of my little pink muse. After she had finished ridding herself of the sweet condiments, she paused to look at me. I was busy scribbling away at the paper. I looked up to reference my subject once more, but found her missing. Suddenly, my left ear was assaulted.

"WHAT'RE YOU DRAWING?"

Once the shock wore off, I showed her the page. She leaned over my shoulder to see various drawings of her own face, her features distorted and silly. They really weren't much, but she studied them with wonder in her big blue eyes. She spoke again.

"Wwwwooooowwwwww...." It was quite a protracted and breathy 'wow'. "You're an artist!"

I felt a bit of a warmth at that. I thanked her and told her that they really weren't very good. Just silly cartoons. She gave a bit of a 'pppfssh' sound and responded.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You can do anything you want, and it's always gonna look nice. 'Cause you did it, and you're wonderful, and you have to believe that!"

That sounded familiar... I was beginning to get a bit embarrassed at the encouragement, but at the same time it felt pretty good to hear. She wasn't just a fun person to be around. Pinkie was also a great friend.

"Come on!" She said. "It's Rainbow Dash's birthday today, and we've gotta get back home to set everything up!"

I started to get up, but I was tackled from behind. The tiny pink mare was straddling my back.

"Ah ah ah~" she tutted, and the blindfold was placed over my eyes once more. She situated herself upon my shoulders, and I steadily rose to a standing position.

"Now... FORWARD!"