Voodoo Pancakes

by D-APE

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Rainbow Dash
Length: 5779

Rainbow Dash eats pancakes. Soarin eats out Rainbow Dash.

This is a clopfic intended for people who have eating and belly expansion fetishes. Also it's got it's share of wtf moments, and minor drug use. You've been warned.

In a terrible accident involving unbreakable Crystal Empire glass, Rainbow Dash tragically loses the use of her wings. Desperate and with nothing medical science can do to help her, Rainbow turns to the use of body altering alchemy, despite the warning from her doctor that any magic which permanently affects the body, always has serious side effects.

The main side effect of the potion she ingests, just happens to be an uncontrollable and ravenous appetite. Thankfully, her good friend Pinkie Pie is there to help with her recipe of incredibly tasty, yet high calorie buttermilk pancakes, but things soon turn erotic when Soarin, of all ponies, walks in on Rainbow's feeding frenzy, and it just so happens that belly expansion is one of his fetishes.

Featured on equestriaafterdark.org!

Published 2013-03-16 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-16 20:50:01 UTC

pancakes

pancakes

I admit, this isn't my best clop story, but I'm too lazy to rewrite it. If you want a quick laugh though, keep reading, otherwise, for some of my better boner inducing material, read Ravenous or Mega Munchies.

To skip to the fetishy stuff, press ctrl+f then type CLOP(it's the third instance of the word).

“Damn it!” Dr. Butterscotch cursed to himself as he lost his tenth game of solitaire in a row. He was getting rather frustrated because of this nagging thought in his head constantly telling him there was something he was supposed to be doing, and it was hampering his mad card skills.

Letting out a sigh, he decided to finally give into his responsibilities, and reluctantly turned his attention to a patient's file that was open on his desk. It was yet another pegasus victim of the infamous Crystal Empire’s indestructible glass, making this the tenth case involving severe spinal injuries and the glass since that damn empire reappeared. Now, he had to be the one to tell a wonderbolt in training that she will likely never fly again. So, as protocol dictated with bad news, he was making the patient and her five friends wait as long as possible.

“Nurse Redheart!” He called.

“Yes Dr. Butterscotch?” The nurse asked, poking her head into the doctor’s office.

“Would you check on Miss Dash and tell her and those friends of hers that I will be right in?”

“Right away.”

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

“Good news! You can still walk!” The doctor announced cheerfully.

“Great! When can I start training again?”

That didn’t last long.

“Yeeeeaaah... ’bout that.” He cleared his throat before continuing. ”The motor control nerves that are associated with your wings have been damaged. You may never fly again.” As he expected, everypony in the room gasped and started to tear up, except him, because that would be weird, and Rainbow Dash, who instead took on a thousand mile stare while her mouth hung open. “But hey! She can still move her legs and only suffered minor brain damage, so it’s not so bad.“ He said trying to defuse the situation as drool started to drip out of Rainbow Dash’s open mouth.

“How could this happen? I mean she practically crashes through a building every week, and usually just walks it off.” Asked a purple alicorn.

“Oh hey Princess Sparkle. What are you doing here?”

“I’m Rainbow’s friend.”

“Is that so?.” The doctor paused for several seconds to think about what his wife was going to make for dinner.

“Uh, doctor. I asked you a question.”

“Ahh yes, Miss Dash is somewhat of a medical mystery. Her bones seem to have the consistency of reinforced steel, and heal in the span of a few days when broken. She has baffled every medical expert that has looked at her case.” He paused for a second, then continued with a more serious tone. “Quite frankly, I’m surprised she hasn’t been abducted by the government and forced to be the subject of a series of gruesome and inponane experiments.” He said with a deadpan face. The whole room suddenly went deathly silent.

“Ahhhh, I’m just bucking with you all! Celestia wouldn’t sign the abduction paperwork we submitted. Anyway, as I was saying, She may have freakishly mutated super bones, but her nervous system is very much normal. I’d say she’s just been lucky up until now.”

“There has to be something you can do! Being a wonderbolt has been her dream since she was filly!” Said an exasperated yellow pegasus.

“I’m sorry. There’s nothing we can do medically.”

“Don’t nerves heal on their own?” Asked an orange earth pony with a southern drawl.

“Some regeneration is possible, but it’s unlikely she'll regain enough motor control to achieve flight.”

“What about alternatives?” Asked the princess.

“Alternatives? Like voodoo? Cause I don’t recommend voodoo.” The doctor responded.

“No, but maybe alchemy.” Princess Sparkle said.

“That’s voodoo.” Stated a pink earth pony. The doctor wondered why he didn’t know the names of most of the mares in the room, a feat of amazing absentmindedness considering he was a resident of ponyville.

“It’s not voodoo, Pinkie.” Twilight responded.

“The crazy witchdoctor that lives in the Everfree Forest practices it, therefore it’s voodoo.” The pink pony said.

“Zecora’s not a witchdoctor!” Twilight said.

“I’m pretty sure she is, darling.” Said a white unicorn.

“Whatever! Look, we know at least some of her potions work. Maybe she could make something that could help Rainbow.”

“Like a voodoo concoction?.”

“Pinkie, alchemy is not voodoo. It’s the respectable practice of mixing herbs and other earthly substances to create magical remedies.”

“Voodoo remedies.” Pinkie said as the princess’s right eye twitched.

“You want my advice? All magic that affects the body permanently, has side effects, almost always serious. I highly recommend Miss Dash just resigns herself to her new flightless life, and finds a different job. I think there’s a janitor position open here, or she could always submit herself to those experiments I was talking about earlier. Really, taking bone samples isn't that painful.”

“Ah agree with the doctor.” The mare with a stetson hat said.

“About the experiments?” The doctor interrupted.

“There’s a reason alchemy ain’t practiced in Equestria.” She continued, ignoring the grinning doctor’s comment.

“I’ll do it.” Rainbow Dash said, finally breaking out of her drooling trance, and garring the attention of everyone in the room.

“Ya sure ‘bout that, sugarcube? The side effects could be mighty intense, sugarcube, sugarcube.”.

“I have to fly again. I don’t care what it takes.” She said with determined look off into space.

“...The hay ya look’n at, sugarcube?”

“I have no idea. Is it normal for my brain to itch?”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” The doctor assured her as she continued to stare very intensely at nothing for a moment of very tense emotional silence before he broke it like a spine impacting crystal glass at high speed. “Well then, sounds like you guys have an adventure brewing! Don’t let me stop you.” He said and then let out a forced hearty chuckle that lasted for a few seconds before continuing in a humorless tone. “But seriously, get out. we need this bed.”

--

“Alright, who’s with me!?” Twilight said to her friends who had gathered outside of the hospital, as a random stallion walked into a wall, and then an older stallion tripped while leering at all the young voluptuous mare booty. The crunching sound of a hip breaking could be heard. “Eh, perhaps you should all face another direction.” Twilight said as her friends re-positioned themselves so that they’re behinds weren't facing oncoming traffic.

“Umm Twilight? I don’t have anyone to watch the animals on such short notice, but if you give me some time we can do it later in the week.” Fluttershy said.

“No, it has to be tonight. I’m going overseas to the griffin lands tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry, Twilight. I really need to get home.”

“That’s fine Fluttershy, I still have the rest of you.”

“Actually, I think it might be best if I stay out of this as well. Zecora and I don’t really have the best relationship. Besides, you don’t need me. You’re an alicorn now, I’ll just slow you down.” Rarity said.

“Would you stop with the alicorn thing.”

“What?”

“You think just because I’m an alicorn I don’t need your help whenever I ask you to do something hard or dangerous with me.”

“Well, do you need me?”

“Not really, but that’s not the point.”

“Riiiight, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get home and prepare dinner for Sweetie Belle.

“Applejack?”

“Ah uh... think ah left Applebloom in the oven. Gotta go.”

“Pinkie Pie?”

“Do I have to go over the voodoo thing again?”

“I’ll go.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Absolutely not. The doctor told you to rest.” Twilight objected.

“I can’t even get up to my house. Where am I going to sleep?”

“Ugh, that’s right.”

“She can stay with me!” Pinkie Pie said, excitedly and bouncing in place. Perhaps a little too excitedly.

“You’re not going to feed me cupcakes are you?”

“What’s wrong with cupcakes?”

“I dunno, I just feel weird eating your cupcakes.”

“Everyone eats my cupcakes, why would you feel weird?”

“Nevermind, forget I said anything.”

“Uh...Okay then. I guess I’m going into the Everfree Forest...alone. I’ll be back in the morning.”

“Okay dokie loki. Oh, and whatever you do, don’t let her take a hair sample from you.”

“Why would she take my hair?”

“You know, for her voodoo doll, if she does, you’ll be her slave forever, and forever is a long time.” The princess chose not to respond to the irritating comment, and simply, turned and walked off in the direction of the supernatural forest.

“Be careful Twilight!” Rainbow called after the princess before turning to Pinkie and saying. “Hey, are you sure the Cake’s are okay with me staying at their house while they’re gone?”

“Totally, I asked them three months ago, and they said you could stay as long as you want.”

“I wasn’t hurt three months ago.”

“Pinkie sense, duh.”

“Oh, of course. So, what’s for dinner?”

“Pizza Hut sound good? My treat.”

“Could we get stuffed crust?”

“Sure!”

--

“Oh my gosh, I’m so full.” Rainbow said as she rubbed her belly.

“You ate like one slice.”

“I know, I’m such a pig.”

“Well, I guess we can save the rest for breakfast.”

“Sounds good. Hey, uh...do you like, wanna do something?” Rainbow asked taking note of the situation; two adults, herself being bisexual and the other of which she suspected had to be at the very least bi-curious, in a house all to themselves.

“Nah, I’m going to hit the sack. When you’re ready for bed you can use the guest room upstairs.”

“Oh...okay then.” Rainbow said, ears drooping as Pinkie finished cleaning the plates, then walked out of the kitchen.

Depressed and having nothing better to do, Rainbow headed upstairs to the guest room where she shamefully masterbated, then cried herself to sleep thinking about how lonely she was.

--

“Were you crying last night?” Pinkie asked as she placed a cup of coffee in front of Rainbow, then took a seat next to her at the kitchen table and sipped from her own cup, which was more sugar than coffee.

“Of course not. I never cry.”

“Really? I could've sworn I heard somepony crying last night.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

Suddenly, as if on cue, Twilight appeared in a burst of purple energy, hiccuped, then ran up to the window and shut the blinds. “I’m being followed. I think they’re onto me.” She said.

“Who’s following you?” Rainbow asked, genuinely confused.

“That creepy filly with the curly red hair and the lisp. I think shhe’s working with the shheriff...*hic*”

“What did you do?” Pinkie asked.

“Damn it Cadence! Why are you always blaming me for shhit? You’re jusht jealoush I’m a better princesh then you. I mean, what do you even do? Celestia can raishe the bucking shun. Luna influencesh the dreamsh of millions of ponies with like her shubconcioush or shome crazy shhit. You, you just give teenage stallions boners with your love magic.“

Twilight, are you drunk?” Rainbow asked, as if it wasn't blatantly obvious.

“Pfft, Drunk? No, *hic* not drunk, and most definitely not on drugs.” She said then snickered.

“Have you even gone to bed yet?”

Twilight stared blankly at her friends with her mouth open for several awkward seconds before suddenly squatting on her hind legs, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

“Uh, Twilight. What are you-?” Rainbow’s thought process was horrendously derailed by the sound of liquid hitting the hardwood floor in a steady stream joined by a long drawn out groan of relief.

“Oh come on! I just cleaned those floors!” Shouted an exasperated Pinkie Pie, but the dissociated Twilight seemed to ignore her as she finished relieving herself before standing up and hobbling to the side.

“Hey ...*hic* ... was I supposed to do something last night?” She asked, looking at Rainbow.

“Uh...The healing potion, did you get it?” Rainbow asked

“Healing Potion? Like the one I got from Zecora?”

“Yes that potion!

“What did I do with that?”

“How would I know?”

“Wait... I’m confused.” Twilight said almost falling over as she stumbled to keep her balance.

“You know what, it’s not important. I really don’t think you should be standing right now. Pinkie, is there somewhere she can lie down?” Rainbow asked, coming over to Twilight’s side so she could lean on her for support.

“I guess she could use the couch in the living room.”

Rainbow helped Twilight over to the aforementioned couch, where the princess telekinetically removed her saddle bag before collapsing upon the sofa.

“So, is the potion in your bag?” Rainbow asked eagerly, but the intoxicated Twilight didn’t respond. Having already passed out, she was dead to the world.

“Oh my god, It’s everywhere!” Pinkie yelled from the other room where she was on the floor cleaning up urine with a sponge and bucket.

“Pretend it’s lemonade!” Rainbow yelled back, before turning her attention to Twilight’s saddle bag. Rustling through it she found a small peculiar paper baggy. On the inside it was filled with some kind of fuzzy looking herbs.

Kind of looks like the stuff buffalo put in their peace pipes.

Putting aside the baggy, she went back into the saddle bag and found two unlabeled bottles.

Bingo

She removed the cork from one of the bottles and took a sip, then immediately spat it out. “Holy shit, that’s got to be over a hundred proof!”

“Did you seriously just spit on my floor?” Pinkie said from behind Rainbow, obviously done cleaning the kitchen floor.

-- CLOP --

“Sorry, I thought that was the potion, but at least I know which one it is now.” She said pulling out the cork of the second bottle and gulping down it’s reddish brown colored contents all at once. “Huh...tastes like...apple cider. Actually, it tastes exactly like apple cider.”

“Maybe it’s just mixed with apple cider. You feel any different?

“A little hungry, but not really.”

“Probably just takes a little bit to kick in.”

“Or it could just be apple cider.”

“Well if you’re hungry, why don’t we finish off the pizza?”

Rainbow nodded and followed Pinkie back into the kitchen. With an appetite unlike the previous night, she went on to eat the majority of the leftover pizza, consuming five pieces in the span of a few minutes. Despite this, her hunger, strangely, did not cease and when she reached into the box to grab another slice, her greedy hoof found nothing. Groaning in protest, her stomach demanded food like an angry god as if the five slices of pizza was nothing. “Hey, Pinkie. I think I might have a problem.”

“Still hungry?”

“Yup.”

“Hmm, makes sense. If the stuff you drank is supposed to repair damaged nerves, something your body wouldn’t do on it’s own, it would need to get the energy to do that from somewhere.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Do you got any more food?”

“Ooo! How about pancakes?! I have a special recipe for buttermilk. They’re loaded with fat, but really tasty.” Pinkie said in voice dripping with odd excitement.

“Yeah sure, I could just work off the calories when I can fly again.” Rainbow said as a devious madcap grin played across the pink pony’s face, a red flag that in poor Dashie’s extreme appetence for food did not notice. Somewhere in an alternate universe, some big filthy ape is having a fit of maniacal laughter.

Within fifteen minutes they had a bit of an assembly line going. Pinkie would cook a stack of delicious calorie loaded hot cakes covered in sugary maple syrup, and Rainbow would gluttonously devour them as the pastry chef cooked more. However, Rainbow’s stomach couldn’t keep up at that pace for long, and although, it continued to stretch way beyond normal capacity, the digestive organ was having trouble handling the large amount of food it was receiving, despite it’s hunger groans and messages to Rainbow’s brain that it still wanted more. Because of this, she was forced to slow down on her intake quite a bit after consuming four stacks, and before long the table was overflowing with plates of pancake stacks.

“Pinkie!-err” Rainbow paused to let out a very unladylike belch before continuing. “I think this is enough.”

“I’m just using up the rest of the batter. I don’t like to let food go to waste.” She said, before carrying the latest stack of pancakes to the table and then taking a seat next to her insatiably hungry friend. Rainbow looked down at her distended belly which was starting to spread outward over the padded cushion she was sitting on, making it’s way towards the floor. She wondered about Pinkie’s statement about not letting food go to waste. Does she really intend for me to eat all these pancakes? Her ravenous hunger certainly showed no signs of letting up, but she wondered how much her stomach could stretch before exploding, and whether or not she’d ever be satisfied.

“You enjoying those pancakes?”

“I can’t get enough...ugh, but I’m having trouble getting it down.”

“Let me help you!” She said grabbing a fork full of cakes, and bringing it up and into Rainbow’s awaiting maw, while her free hoof massaged her bulging belly. “Don’t think about it, just chew and swallow.” She said, bringing another fork full up to Rainbow’s lips as she swallowed the last mouthful with one eye closed.

--

Soarin landed in the center of the lively Ponyville marketplace, a hub of activity where he hoped someone could lead him to the injured wonderbolt trainee he was looking for. It was to be a mandatory visit to keep up appearances. He’d tell the poor mare how devastated the Wonderbolts were to lose such a great flyer, offer a shoulder to cry on, and then he’d be on his way.

Scoping out the area he spotted an apple stand run by a cute earth pony wearing a stetson hat. Thinking he could use a snack, he walked over to the stand.

“Howdy! Ten bits an apple, hundred fer a dozen.”

“Ten bits for an apple?! That’s absurd! How could you possibly get away with charging so much?”

“Well, consider’n ah have the only apple farm in a hundred miles, n’ ah pretty much cornered the market in Ponyville. Ah can charge whatever ah want n’ these fine folk will pay it. If not, they don’t get apples. If ya ask me, ten bits is mighty generous.

“Ugh, Fine.” Soarin said, tossing the apple entrepreneur ten bits, not that it was serious hit to his bank, considering he was a ridiculously overpaid professional athlete. “Hey, Do you know a-” He paused to look at writing on his hoof before continuing. “Rainbow Dash?” He said as he grabbed an apple and took a bite out of it.”

“Yup, she’s mah friend.”

“Could you tell me where I could find her?”

“Fer twenty bits ah could.”

“Are you for real?” Soarin asked but the business savvy pony showed no indications that she was joking in her expression. Letting out a sigh, he tossed the orange mare twenty more bits.

“She’s at Sugarcube Corner.” She said, pointing a hoof at a building that looked like a giant gingerbread house.

“Thanks.” He said, heading over to the aforementioned building.

“Pleasure doin’ business wit ya!” She said with a satisfied grin on her face.

The door was unlocked so Soarin let himself in. Something he tends to do that a lot. Being famous, most ponies are thrilled to let him meander about their properties and go through their pantries. Seriously, if you came home and found Lauren Faust or Tara Strong sitting on your couch, eating your food, would you be upset? The lights were off in the store, but he heard two mares talking further in the building. Following the voices, he soon found himself in a kitchen.

“Let me help you!” Said a pink earth pony as she grabbed a fork full of pancakes from a table covered with stacks of the cakes, then brought it up and into the mouth of what Soarin assumed was Rainbow Dash, while the pink mare’s free hoof massaged the cyan pegasus’s impressive, bulging belly. “Don’t think about it, just chew and swallow.” The pink mare said as she brought another fork full up to Rainbow’s lips as the stuffed mare swallowed the last mouthful with one eye closed.

“That’s hot...” He said garring the attention of the two girls.

“Can I help you?” The pink pony asked, irritation evident in her voice.

“Soarin?” Rainbow said, looking more surprised than him.

“Could I like, get in on this?” He asked.

The two mares looked at each other, then back at him.

“It’s fine by me.”

“Buck yeah you can!” Rainbow said.

Soarin gleefully took a seat on the other side of Rainbow as the pastry chef shoved more cakes down her gullet, then more, and more still. Soarin was content to watch while rubbing that beautiful taut belly, as it slowly expanded under his hoof with each bite she took, eventually expanding over the padded cushion and to the floor. She was like a machine, before long she had devoured all the cakes on the table but three.

She let out an impressive burp, not even bothering to say excuse me. “I think I might actually be getting full, the hunger isn’t so intense anymore.”

“Don’t even think of stopping yet. You’re going to finish that last stack.” Pinkie stated as if Rainbow had no choice.

“I don’t know if I can..ugh.”

“Maybe something to drink would help.” Soarin suggested.

Rainbow nodded.

He started to pour a glass of apple cider when an idea popped into his head. Why bother with a glass. He just brought the whole jug over and held it to Rainbow’s lips. She playfully licked around the lip of the jug, then tilted her head back, and with Soarin’s assistance she started to guzzle down the sweet liquid straight from the jug. As she chugged some of cider dripped out of her mouth and onto her slowly expanding belly.

With the previous contents of the jug now in Rainbow’s over stretched stomach and auditably sloshing around as she rubbed it, Soarin put the jug down, then brought his muzzle to the spot where the cider dripped. He followed the trail of liquid with his tongue from the top of her belly, up her chest, to her neck, then chin, and finally to her lips where his tongue did a brief dance with hers, all while feeling her up with his frontal hooves, before pulling away. She blushed profusely, in her eyes he saw obvious arousal within her. Got you now. He thought with a sly smile upon his face.

“Why don’t you two get a room?” Pinkie said, sounding a little uncomfortable.

“Don’t worry, I got enough passion for both of you.”

“Whoa, Hold up buddy! I’m not doing a threesome with Rainbow, I don’t swing that way.”

“Wait, What? You seemed so into feeding me.”

“Like I said before, I really don’t like to let food go to waste. I had a bunch of eggs and milk that were about to go bad, and saw an opportunity to get rid of it, plain and simple. So uh, If you’re going to ravage each other, please use the guest bedroom upstairs.” Pinkie said blatantly.

“Alright, that’s cool. We’ll go up stairs.” Soarin said.

“I don’t think I can make it up the stairs.”

“Leave that to me.” He said doing a few stretches, before using his impressive upper body strength to lift Rainbow in his forelegs, giving her a wink as she wrapped her own forelegs around his neck. Then using his world class wings, he floated out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the bedroom.

“Yeah, that just happened.” He said, placing Rainbow gently on the bed, belly up.

“I think this is Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s bedroom.”

“I’m sure they won’t mind.” Soarin said as he got up on the bed and stood over what was to be his latest conquest.

“Uh, I’m not so sure.”

“We’ll make the bed when we’re done, they’ll never know.” He said leaning his muzzle in to merge his mouth with hers, while she explored his chest with her hooves. Cheeks burned hot, as the two shared a passionate kiss for several sensual moments. Her breath smelled of maple syrup, especially when she burped while he was in her mouth, he didn’t mind though, it only served to fan the flames burning inside him. He pulled away, a line of saliva from her mouth following him.

Feeling particularly generous that day, Soarin decided to turn his attention to the region below Rainbow’s magnificent belly. He started by caressing her inner thighs, causing her to dig her own frontal hooves into the bed and let out a whimper. Then he mounted his lips on her marehood, and slowly began licking her like an ice cream cone. She squirmed and let out a long drawn out moan of pleasure indicating he was doing to a good job, expanding his already galactic sized ego. As he built up the intensity of his mouth work he could literally taste her passion while she squirmed and moaned louder, and louder with each thrust of his agile tongue.

--

Lieutenant Itsy and her considerably larger stallion associate, Sergeant Mumbles, both clad in brilliant golden armor entered the busy Ponyville marketplace.

“Mer melement mer marmerny” Mumbles mumbled in a deep voice, pointing a hoof at an orange mare selling apples.

“Are you sure? She’s one of the elements?”

“Merah.”

“Well, lets go have a talk with her.”

The two walked over to the apple cart.

“Howdy! Wanna buy some apples? Ah can give you two a special military discount.”

“No, we’re both good.”

“Mut Mer Mapple.”

“What?! You just ate a huge breakfast like twenty minutes ago!”

“Mer mer.”

“Ugh, Fine. We’ll take two apples.

“Fourteen bits.”

“I thought you said you were going to give us a military discount.”

“Ah did, normally it be twenty.”

Itsy sighed and tossed the stetson wearing pony the bits as Mumbles picked out two big juicy looking apples. “I hope you’re happy” she said.

“Mer mer!”

“Anyway, I’m Lieutenant Itsy, and this big buffoon is Sergeant Mumbles. We’re Princess Sparkles personal guards. Are you one of the elements of harmony? Mumbles here seems to think so.” The lieutenant said as Mumbles gleefully bit into one of his apples.

“Ah am, name’s Applejack. Nice to meet you both.”

“Great! Would you happen to know the princess’s whereabouts?”

“Fer twenty bits ah might.”

“Mer! Mer mould mock mer mup mer miterferance mer moyal musiness.” The large stallion mumbled.

“Wut he say?”

“Sorry, he got hit in the head a little too hard when he was young, hasn’t been able to form proper words since. He said you could tell us where Princess Sparkle is or we could lock you up for interfering with royal business. You’re choice.”

“Ya could do that, but ah think the princess would be none too happy ‘bout one of her best friends being thrown in jail. Ya wouldn’t wanna upset the princess, now would ya?” She said smugly, giving the two soldiers a very infuriating grin.

“You got some nerve miss Applejack.”

“Mer must may mer.”

“Alright fine, but this is coming out of your paycheck as well.” She said, reluctantly tossing twenty bits towards Applejack.

“I’m not sure, but I think Twilight’s at Sugarcube Corner.” She said putting her latest earnings in a gigantic bag of bits.

“Wait, you’re not even sure?!”

“I said I might know, not I do know. You’re the one that agreed to pay fer the info.”

The lieutenant lunged at Applejack, but Mumbles grabbed her before she could do any damage. Kicking at the air and yelling obscenities at the conniving salespony, Itsy was carried through the air over to the aforementioned bakery by her much larger pegasus partner.

“Pleasure doin’ business wit ya!” Applejack yelled.

“Put me down! I promise I won’t go after her!” The lieutenant yelled after a few moments of raging. The sergeant cautiously complied. “If we find her, please don’t tell Twilight about this.” She said, knocking on the door before a pink mare answered.

“Heya! What can I do for you?” She said cheerfully.

“Hello there, I’m Lieutenant Itsy, and this is Sergeant Mumbles.”

“Mer!”

“We’re Princess Sparkle’s personal guards, and we were told that she might be here.”

“Oh yeah, she’s here alright. Please, come in.” She said stepping aside to let the two guards in.

Suddenly the slightly muffled, yet still clearly audible sound of a mare moaning in obvious sexual bliss could be heard.

“Can I get you guys anything to drink?” The pink mare asked as the trio entered the kitchen.

“Uh... Twilight’s not up there is she?”

“Oh no, She’s passed out on the living room couch, and I don’t think she’ll be waking up anytime soon. She was up all night drinking, and I think she might be on the drugs.”

“Oh god, not again.” Itsy said.

“Mer Manterlot mer mairship mer mour mer mambassador”

“What did he say?”

“He said... *moan* that we’re supposed to be in Canterlot... *moan* to meet the griffin ambassador and catch an airship... *moan* back to his country in an hour.” Itsy said, constantly being interrupted by the mare thoroughly enjoying herself upstairs.

“I really think you should let her sleep.” The pink pony said.

“Yeah, I think we’ll just come back later.” Itsy said feeling very eager to vacate the building.

“Okie dokie loki!”

“Melestia mot mappy.”

“Yes Mumbles, I know Celestia won’t be happy, but there’s nothing we can do about it.” Itsy said as she and the sergeant made their way out of the bakery.

“Mer Mapples?”

“No! No more apples!”

“Mer mer.” He said in a saddened tone.

--

Rainbow was overcome with waves of pleasure, each one more intense than the last. Soarin had serious oral gymnastics skill with a rhythm that was absolutely mind blowing. As if he knew exactly how she was feeling, he pulled his mouth away just before she felt like she was going to climax, and positioned himself over her, then gently and caringly inserted his large throbbing member into her passage. She felt her muscles clamping down on him, as he began a rhythmic sequence of movements in and out, starting out slow, then gradually hastening. Her still very taut belly heaved back and forth, it’s contents all the while sloshing around while she continued to audibly manifest her pleasure in loud crys.

“I’ll show you a real sonic rainboom!” He shouted, picking up speed.

“OH MY GOSH YES!” She yelled.

“You seeing colors yet?! He thrusted even faster.

“OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH! She yelled at rapid speed in collaboration with his hip movements, and just when she felt like she couldn’t take anymore his seed poured into her, the sensation sending her over the edge into an orgasm.

“BOOM!” He yelled, finished ejaculating, then rolled over to Rainbow’s side. “Oh shit...”

Rainbow remained speechless for several moments, panting heavily alongside Soarin as she rode out her incredible high.

“I’m sorry, that doesn’t usually happen.” He said breaking the silence.

“What do you mean? That was fantastic.”

“Yeah and I likely just got you pregnant, I intended to pull out.”

“Oh shit...”

--

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” The newborn foal cried. Rainbow and Soarin did their best to ignore her, but she was just so damn loud. Rainbow seriously considered throwing the foal out the window, but then she figured the mother might not like that very much.

“Rainbow Dash, the doctor will see you now.” The nurse said as Rainbow and her new wonderbolt partner got up and followed the nurse out of the room, down a hall, and into the doctor’s examination room where the nurse directed Rainbow to lie down on the examination table. “The doctor will be in soon.” She said, exiting the room.

They waited another forty minutes before the doctor finally came in.

“Ah, Rainbow Dash. You’re looking...well fed. Lets take a look at your test results.” The doctor said as he put on his glasses and opened a file on the table. As he read it, his expression suddenly turned sour. “It says here you’ve tested positive for type two diabetes and uh...testicular cancer.”

“Huh?”

The doctor closed the file and looked at the front. “Oh, my bad. Wrong file.” He said grabbing the file underneath that actually said Rainbow Dash. “You are very much not pregnant. In fact you can’t even get pregnant anymore, whatever alchemical remedy you ingested seemed to have made you infertile. I did warn you about the side effects of permanent magic.”

“Thank god!” Soarin exclaimed. Rainbow shot him a look. “Err, about you not being pregnant, not the whole infertile thing. That totally sucks.”

“Meh, I never really liked kids anyway. So when do you think I could fly again?”

“Lets take a look shall we.” He said picking up a probing rod. Then coming over to Rainbow’s side, he outstretched her wing with his magic, and started poking at the muscles. It twitched in response. “Did you feel that?”

“Yeah! I mean, a little bit. I still can’t move them though.”

“Well, I’d say there’s definitely been some improvement. I’m no expert on alchemy, but at the current rate of nerve regrowth, I doubt you’ll regain full movement anytime soon. Perhaps within a few years.”

“What?! I can’t wait that long!”

“I’m sorry, but it looks like you’re going to have to.”

An idea popped into Rainbow’s head. “Hey... What if I drank more healing potions?”

“Uh, I’m not claiming any responsibility for your pursuit in alternative treatments. As I told you before, I don’t recommend it, but it is likely that your nerve regrowth would accelerate if you were to ingest greater quantities of whatever alchemical remedy you took before. However the side effects such as the insatiable hunger you described would only intensify.”

“Ah huh... you don’t say.” Soarin said, an underlying current of deviousness in his voice.

--

Thanks for reading my very first clopfic, my mother would be so proud.