In service to the Crown.

by Mr AJ

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 14810

(Sequel to Sorry,But Your Princess Is In Another Dimension) It appears Discord's death had some unintentional side effects.

(Sequel to S,BYPIIAD) After killing Discord, Anthony, Claudius (IT'S ANDY DAMMIT!), and all of Equestria discover he was more than a mad god or a nice garden decoration. Chaos magic runs through the land unchecked, from relatively harmless chocolate rain to ponies' homes suddenly exploding to random items dropping out of the sky. Of course, they all do the logical thing and start pointing hooves at a certain unicorn and griffon, demanding they be locked away. And they are. That is, until a way to stop the chaotic tsunami is discovered. On orders from Celestia and Luna, Anthony, Andy and a crew hand (hoof? claw?) picked by them, start a journey to set things right. Even if it means doing the unthinkable.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-11 22:26:50 UTC

What happens in Canterlot... Ends Up in Ponyville

....or

Shit rolls downhill

----------------------------SOMEWHERE IN BEL MARE--------------------------------------------------

Two workers were busy sorting crates in a warehouse owned by Prince Blueblood. They were fairly content with their jobs. Sure the hours were often long and the boxes were heavy, but the prince saw that they were well payed and well taken care of. They had just had a company picnic the day before and another coming up next week. They were some of the best paid workers in Equestria. They also had the best safety record in the city, so, it came as quite a shock when a crate suddenly fell from the forklift onto the back of the supervisor. Luckily, the stallion wasn't crushed into goo, but, he was covered in dirt when said crate shattered. The earth came spilling out and went everywhere.

"Yaaaaaaggghh!" the poor pony cried out in pain when something jabbed into his flank. When he was finally uncovered, he found out what it was. It was a skull. It had the basic shape of a pony's except for two things. A set of extremely elongated fangs jutted from either side of the face. As it was pulled away, the blood from the wounds was absorbed into the pointy teeth. Other bones and various parts dragged themselves from the dirt pile and began assembling themselves on the floor before the horrified ponies. They watched aghast as flesh and sinew and skin stretched and covered discolored bone. Finally, the skin of the creature before them sprouted a white coat highlighted with a jet black mane. It stirred and raised its head bellowed.

"I. LIIIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE......AGAIN!" He then noticed the trio in front of him. They figured it was time to leave. The last one to move happened to notice a board from the crate lying next to the door. The dark writing on it confirmed her fears. She had to get word to Canterlot fast.

"Prancylvania"

----------------------------------------------Back in Canterlot-----------------------------------------------

Celestia smiled warmly at the two before her. They were eager to get started, and had a general idea of what to do.

"You can start whenever you're ready. First though, Anthony, my sister wanted a word with you. In private. She should be in her room. Just go on in, she should be waiting on you." I got up and excused myself from the table and made my way out.  "Andrew? I would like to talk with you myself." she said as I closed the massive doors to the dinning hall. P.S. was hanging around just outside looking out a window watching a pegasus doing some maintenance on some overhang. I recalled seeing her around from time to time. Shaking my head, I moved on about my task. It was a little odd, I had been in many areas of the castle, but never in the princesses' personal wing. It wasn't hard to find though. Being it was theirs, I figured it was in the oldest section of the castle. Like I said, it wasn't hard to find, but it was near the top of one of the towers. If I had been there before, I could have just teleported, but no, I got to take the scenic route. The tapestries were nice to look at, as were the stained glass windows. One that caught my eye showed Twilight and her friends doing....something to a black and blue colored alicorn. I'd have to ask Luna about that one. Maybe they were related? I climbed the seemingly infinite stairs and finally reached Luna's personal floor. Yes, floor. She had her own floor, and it was themed around the night. The colors were all cool night and evening shades. The stars on the ceiling were actually twinkling! I let out a low whistle.

"Fan-cy.."

"It is, isn't it?" came a feminine voice from somewhere.

"YIPE!" I yelped, and jumped high enough to almost grab one of the stars. The voice chuckled and a form floated out of a shadow. A  pegasus with bat wings sat flapping in front of me. A single streak of pure white ran through her mane. I glared at her. Judging by where I was, what she was, and her armor, she was Luna's personal guard.

"High strung?" She asked. I just glared in response. "Don't take it personally, I'm  it's my job to keep watch here. Speaking of.. What business do you have here?" Her expression turned from mild amusement to annoyance. Sounds like someone woke up under the bed this morning. Or last night maybe?

"Uh, Celest-ahem- Princess Celestia sent me. She said her sister requested it." I replied, regaining my composure.

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Um, uhh..."

The guard-pony snickered. "Don't worry about it, princess Celestia told me last night. I've been expecting you. Name's Moonshine." she said, extending her hoof. I shook it. She motioned behind her. "Door at the end of the hall, you can't miss it." With that she returned to her shadow and just, kind of melted into it, her golden eyes shining. Not creepy at all. She blinked . gulp. Nope. Not at all.

Her door was adorned with with a large carving of a crescent moon. I knocked and the thing opened on the first tap. Curiosity made me poke my head in. It was as dark as midnight. I could just make out a desk, a couch, some book cases a large lump on the bed and,..oh. I guess I had to wake her up. Crap. On the other hand, I'd probably never get this opportunity again. An evil grin spread across my face. This would be epic in it's simplicity. I snuck over and eased onto the bed next to the sleeping form of the royal sister. I turned over to look her in the face, a huge grin still on my face as her eyes fluttered open.

"Wha-huh?" she mumbled. It took a second for her eyes to focus on her new bed-mate.

"Morning, sweetie." I almost purred. She blinked a couple of times.

"AAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I realized the foolishness of my decision as I sailed through the air and into the wall. I had decided to pick on one of the most powerful ponies around. Not my best idea. I lay there trying to clear the stars out of my vision before I realized I was looking at the ceiling. One word summarized my thoughts. "....ow."

Luna was standing in the middle of her bed, her eyes shrunk to pin pricks, breathing heavily. She calmed down after a few moments, and realized what happened. She waited until I managed to crawl back over to her before offering an icepack.

"Hardy-har-har. Reporting as requested, your highness. What's on your mind?" I asked, forming a small ball of ice on my sore neck. Having an affinity for ice magic does come in handy from time to time. She yawned and sat up across from me on the floor.

"My sister has no doubt told you of our offer, which you accepted or you wouldn't be here. You remember the part about the official title?" she asked. I nodded. "Aside from that, both of you will be representing us individually. I have chosen you to represent myself. That is why you are here now, to receive my personal seal. Step forward." She said, rising to her hooves. I did the same and stood before her. Her horn glowed and she touched to my own. Many years ago, just before Christmas, my parents had brought out the decorations and asked me to organize them while they went and picked out a tree. They left and I started opening boxes and sorting. It didn't take long before I was done. Everything was in order, except for one thing. The star for the top of the tree had a damaged plug. Being as I was done sorting, I decided to try and fix it. The plastic around the prongs had disintegrated. Just to make sure it did in fact work, I decided to plug it in. One prong in each hand. I tell you that in order to tell you this. The sensation that flowed through my body was nothing at all like getting hit with the full house current at six years old. Not even remotely. It did, however, feel like fire flowing from my head to my hooves. It subsided in a few seconds and coalesced into a ball in my chest. I fell over, gasping for air. When I was finally able to stand, I looked down and saw a white crescent moon on a black background emblazoned there. Not entirely unlike the piece she herself often wore.

"You are now my personal representative, my deputy. Anything you do now, it will be as though I, myself have acted. Your friend, Andy, is getting a similar token from my dear sister. You are dismissed." I bowed and thanked her, and left. I was almost out the door when she called me back. "One more thing. My sister and I have had our guards collect some of the more interesting items that have been appearing. We are keeping them in the royal archive, just past the StarSwirl the Bearded section. Maybe you could find something useful in there." she said with a wink. Huh. I wonder what could be in there? I wonder what she would consider "interesting"? I closed her door and was almost to the stairs when I suddenly remembered.

"The window!" I shouted and spun to go back and ask only to come face to face with pure terror cleverly disguised as a bat-pony.

"boo."

I screamed like a little girl shouted in attempt to frighten them. She fell over laughing. I failed miserably. I snorted and kept walking. Moonshine got up and cleared her throat. "Sorry 'bout that. You're just to easy. So, what did the Princess want with....." she trailed off as she finally noticed my emblem. The color drained from her face. She snapped to attention. "Sorry sir. It won't happen again." she said.

....wat?

"What are you talking about? Why the sudden change in attitude?" I asked, after I recovered from my confusion. She cocked her head to the side.

"The princess didn't explain what that mark means?" she asked in disbelief. I shook my head.

"Not really. She called me her "deputy", but I don't really understand." I answered. "Could you please explain?" I motioned to a bench and we both sat down. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, like she said, you're her deputy. You have her authority. You're her knight." She said quietly. My jaw hit the floor. I think some tiles may have cracked when I realized that Andy was getting the same treatment from the other sister. I decided to keep that to myself though. Moony (heh) continued. "There's not all." A piece of plaster fell from the ceiling underneath us and landed on the head of a pony napping below. Storm Wing sat up with a start, looking around before remembering he was blind and returning to his nap.

"There's more?" I asked. She nodded.

"It also gives you the honorary rank of Captain in the Lunar Guard." She said quietly. Another piece of plaster landed in Stormwing's coffee, splashing him. The angry pegasus bellowed.

"SONOFA.... KNOCK IT OFF UP THERE!"

"SCREW YOU!" A muffled voice answered. Moonshine and I looked at each other.

"What was that all about?"

"No idea."

Several minutes later, (and way too many flights of stairs) I was in the Archives. The StarSwirl the Bearded section was locked down tight. Just past it, however was a small, plain wooden door with a funny shaped lock. A small round hole with the symbols of the sun and moon above it. Luna hadn't given me a key, so I guess I had to pick it. Then, the genius that I am, realized I didn't have any tools either. I lit my horn and examined the hole. The lock started glowing as well.

"Oh. It reacts to magic. Am I supposed to put my horn in there or something?" I asked out loud. If someone had answered, I probably would have shat myself. Oh, well. Nothing left to to but give it a try then. I put my horn in and felt the lock respond almost immediately. It swung open with a slight groan to reveal..... a spiral staircase leading even further down. I could see faint torchlight at the bottom. It didn't look that far down. I grinned and decided to have a little fun. Channeling some energy into my horn, I cast a freezing spell on the stairs. Ice climbed up the sides, up to the banisters. After it was a couple inches thick, I backed up and took  running leap, landing on my belly with an "OOF!" Best. Slide. Ever. I heard some flapping beside me and saw Andy floating down through the middle of the stairs. "What are you doing here?" I asked him. I had to give him credit, he was keeping time with me. He shrugged.

"Celestia told me to meet you here. Said we might find something interesting. She said the stuff in here was "top secret"." he said, making air quotes with his talons. I gave him a look of mock disbelief.

"Secret? I didn't know about any secret!" My griffon friend just facetaloned.

"By the way, you're running out of stairs. How do you plan on stopping?" He asked from behind his talon. i opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I hadn't considered that. I was about to ask for an air lift out of there when my hooves hit stone and I was sent tumbling end over end into the wall under the torch, which fell and landed in some of the melted ice and went out. Andy landed with a light thud and we looked in front of us. In the dark, we could just make out the outline of a door. I stood and lit my horn again, bathing us in a pale, bluish-white light. I hadn't noticed the change a minute ago. This must be from the mark Luna gave me. It was then I noticed a gleam around Andy's neck. A golden medallion bearing the sun sat upon his chest. He saw me staring and explained.

"This is the emblem Celestia gave me. Where's the one from Luna?" He asked. I pointed to my moon.

"Heh. Mine's a little more permanent. Anyway, back to the door. How do we open it?" I asked. I looked and saw another lock. This one had a slot like a vending machine. Too easy. Andy took it off and put it halfway in and turned it. It swung open with ease. the room we were in was huge. Andy found a switch on the wall and flipped it. Rows upon rows of lights popped on revealing just how cavernous it really was. The both of us were stunned. "My God. It's like we're in Warehouse Thirteen." It was just as full. Oh this stuff was interesting all right. Our eyes were immediately drawn to what appeared to be a delta-wing aircraft.  It was dinged up in a few places. Andy was the first to comment. Upon closer inspection, it was a spacecraft. A. FIGGING. SPACECRAFT

"What a piece of junk!"

"Bet it'll do point five past lightspeed."

"Bullshit."

I walked over and took a closer look. "Well, we ain't gonna find out anyway, the engines is full of holes." I said with a slap to the engines. A hollow gong sound echoed around us. "Lets keep looking. There's no telling what's down here." Sometime later, Andy called out from across the room. When I reached him he looked white as a sheet. He was laying on the ground, sputtering. An ice cold hoof-slap to the face brought him around.

"I-It's him."

"Who?"

"That guy! In the painting!" He said pointing to a shadowed corner. I walked over and flipped over the painting, which had fallen on its side.

"SHIT!" I shouted and froze the painting in a three foot thick block of ice. What the hell was Viggo the Carpathian doing here? It looks like reality was torn up worse than we thought. I staggered backwards into something solid and a cloth dropped on me. Freeing myself, I turned around and saw...myself Or almost myself. I squinted. The features looking back at me were a little off, but there was no denying who it was. Oh, this is going to be hilarious. I looked up and sure enough a small label read "mirror 63". "Hey, Andy! Check this out!" The grey griffon sauntered over and looked.

...

...

...

"I'VE GOT FEATHER BOOBS!" he shouted. We were indeed looking at female versions of ourselves. It was funny and a little creepy. "Dude, quit touching my wings."

"What?"

"My wings. Stop rubbing them. I can see it in the mirror!"

"What are you talking about? I haven't moved." I answered him. We looked at each other, then back at our reflections. My "reflection" stopped and went bug eyed with surprise.

"Crap they're on to us! Play us off Johnny!" she hollered. Andy's reflection jumped on her back and they hauled tail out of there. He looked back at me.

"I guess there's a reason this stuff is down here." he said. I simply nodded and covered the mirror up.

"Let us never speak of this again." I mumbled.

"Agreed. Though that reflection of yours was pretty cute though." Andy said with a cough.

"Ew.......What the hell did I just say?" With that we went back to searching the archives/warehouse. I was admiring some angelic statues when something else caught my eye. It looked like a deflated hot air balloon. Upon closer inspection, it was a very familiar hot air balloon. "Hey feather-brain! Get over here! I think I found us some transportation. I heard some clinking and soon the source came around the corner. Andy had found some armor and a sword. How he got his claws on it, I'll never know, but sure enough, he bore the Hyllian shield and Master sword. That and the biggest grin I'd ever seen him wear. "Found some new toys, eh?" I asked. He nodded. "Well, just look at whose balloon I found over there." He looked to where I pointed and dropped the sword.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked, shaking.

"It is. It's in good condition too. We just need to get some propane for the burner, and helium to fill it up." I squealed, barely containing my own glee. He reached around and pulled a small box off his back and tossed it to me. I opened it and found an old six shot revolver. I think I'll hold on to that. It might come in handy. I gathered everything in a pale aura and teleported us and our Meowth balloon to the front of the castle. Andy flew off to get the supplies he'd gathered. Seeing as he'd be gone for a few minutes, I took stock of how many bullets I had for the gun. Eight. Eight rounds total. I decided to take a couple of test shots to see just what kind of power the gun had. I loaded two into the cylinder and took aim at a tree about thirty feet away. Holding the pistol in my magic grip, I squeezed the trigger.

WHAM!

I was no stranger to guns. I got a bb gun for Christmas when I was four. I got my first twenty-two when I was ten. I fired my first twelve gauge at thirteen and a ten gauge a year later. Out of all those, this dinky little....thing, sat me on my ass, and I wasn't even touching it! I looked up at the tree, or rather at what used to be the tree. The target now sported a silver-dollar sized hole with a thin layer of trunk missing from about three inches around the edge. What amazed me even more was the spike of ice coming  from the other side of the tree. Andy came tearing back to the balloon with the supplies, plus the propane and helium. He had gotten rid of the armor, and just kept the sword and shield.

"What in the hell was that?" he shouted, dropping his load. I just pointed to the gun.

"She did it." He stared at the arboreal carnage. Frost had begun to spread from the hole in the wood. He looked back at me with a raised eyebrow.

"She? Does she have a name, smart one?" I though for a minute and answered.

"She does. I think I'll call her, Frostbite." He shook his head and started filing the balloon. It went rather quickly.

"We kind of need to hurry. That noise scared the guards and every pony in there is freaking out." He said as the balloon was just about ready. He walked toward the basket and stopped and turned. "Why couldn't you just teleport us to the library to pick up Twilight instead of this?" He asked. I blinked. Honestly, the thought hadn't occurred to me. I wrapped us all in my new, pale aura and tried it. I swear I heard a sound similar to a car's engine trying to turn over. I tried a couple of more times with the same result. "Well, what's the hold up?"

"I think that shot took more out of me than I thought." I answered him. I levitated the gun in the air and it was shaky. "That's about all I can manage right now, I think I need to "recharge" a while." The balloon was full, the supplies were loaded and it was time to go. I was just about to climb in when our former escort came galloping out to us with a scroll in his mouth. I took it from him.

"Celestia said it was urgent." He informed us. I thanked him and he left. I opened the scroll and read it out loud.

"Andrew and Anthony yadda yadda yadda your first stop needs to be in Bel Mare. Yadda yadda yadda we fear for Blueblood's life! Get there immediately! Blablahblah yakkity-smackity, Celestia."

"Whelp, it looks like our first stop is decided. Let's go get the librarian and make tracks! Oh and make sure the sound system we found in the basket is working. I have an idea."

Twilight and her friends were planning a picnic for this fine spring day. Winter Wrap-up had gone off without a hitch and everypony was taking the day to just relax. She had a nice big red and white checkered blanket spread out on the lawn behind the library. Rarity had provided plates and cups, china of course. Applejack had brought a keg of her renowned cider and a few dozen assorted apple based pastries. Pinkie Pie decided to bring themed cupcakes. Twilight admired the pink pony's work. There were two cupcakes themed for each of them. There were also four he couldn't account for. Two grey ones and two dark blue ones. Curiosity got the better of her and she decided to ask.

"Uh, Pinkie? You know there are only six of us, right?"

"Well, duh!" came her reply.

"Well then, who are the others for?"

"It's a surprise silly!" The pink baker answered. Twilight shook her head. She had learned a long time ago not to try and understand that one. The soft flapping of wings announced Fluttershy's arrival. The custard yellow pegasus sat the basket she had brought down and pulled out a couple of plates of egg salad sandwiches, cut into little triangles.

"Is Rainbow Dash on her way, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked. The timid pegasus shook her head.

"Sorry, Twilight. She said to tell you that there was some trouble at the rainbow factory that she had to take care of. Something about a "color extractor not working right" or something like that." she answered. Oh, well. the lavender unicorn thought to herself.

"LET'S EAT!" Pinkie shouted. Everyone agreed. Twilight was just about to take a bite of an apple danish when an odd shadow covered the scene. And, was that screaming she heard?

---------------------------------------------5 minutes prior---------------------------------------------------------

"Alright, we're almost over the library. Let's do a quick sound check." the grey griffon said. I ran a last check on the connections and everything looked in order. I hit the play button.

"Music? Check!" I confirmed. Andy looked over his shoulder. Something was heading right for us.

"Duck." he said. I looked around the basket.

"Duck? Not check. Wait. Duck? What are you talking about?" I looked up just as a pony shaped missile filled with Derpy impacted me and sent the two of us over the edge of the basket. "WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT THHHHHHHEEEEEE FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU......."

---------------------------------------------5 min after the 5 min prior------------------------------------------------------

All five ponies on the ground heard the sound now and looked up. They looked up in time to see a tumbling mass of pony heading right for them. They all scattered, but not before Pinkie came back and grabbed the box of cupcakes.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"-SPLAT!

Everypony came back out from where they had taken shelter and saw the carnage. It was a horrible sight. Utter devastation. The blanket was soaked in cider. Broken plates and cups were everywhere. The sandwiches were a total loss. The worst of all was the apple pastries. They had taken a direct hit. Applejack shed a tear. A loud groan emanated from the crater that now occupied the space where they had been a moment ago. A grey hoof pulled they pony it was attached to out of the hole. Derpy was more or less fine, save for a mussed up mane. She turned back to the hole and stuck her hoof down in to it. Applejack peeked over the edge.

"Y'all alright down there?"

"My only regret is that I have....boneitis.." I answered with a cough.

"I just don't know what went wrong." She said apologetically. I accepted her hoof and climbed out myself.

"That makes two of us." I agreed. Andy's loud laughing drifted down from where he still sat in the balloon.

"M-M-M-My china....destroyed." came Rarity's trembling voice. I rolled my eyes.

"We're fine Rarity. Thanks for asking." I replied. The shell-shocked mare just stared at the remains of the picnic. Twilight came trotting up with an annoyed expression on her face.

"You're early. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow." she said sternly. I filled her in on the details as Andy tied off the balloon to a tree a short distance away. Pinkie brought out the remaining cupcakes as the others packed up and left. Andy the griffon swallowed his two in one gulp, paper and all. I offered one of mine to Derpy so she wouldn't feel left out. "That's quite a lot to take in. We'll need to leave as soon as possible. I'm actually already packed. So I just need to go and get it and we can leave. If Celestia's nephew is in as much trouble as it sounds like, we need to move." the studious librarian said. Derpy quickly pulled me aside.

"Do you really have to go now?" she asked. She looked a little nervous. I nodded.

"Kinda, yeah. Why?" I asked. She grinned.

"There's somepony special I want you to meet." she said. I arched an eyebrow.

"Who?" She got behind me and started pushing.

"It's a surprise. Just come on!" She grunted. Well, then.

"Looks like I'll  be back in a bit then." I called back to the unicorn and griffon as I was shoved down the street. Derpy kept pushing me until we came to a decent sized cottage. She had me wait in front of the door while she opened it. A purpleish-grey blur nearly tackled her back into me. That, however was not what got my attention. It's what the little blur said.

"MOMMY! YOU'RE BACK!"

"Mommy?" I asked. The little filly jumped when she heard me and looked up.

"Oh! Hello. Are you one of mommy's friends? My name's Dinky, what's yours?" she asked. Derpy stood back up, beaming.

"This is my daughter." she said proudly. I looked at her, then back at the child. One of her eyes started to wander. Yep. That one belongs to her alright. I recalled her briefly mentioning her during our earlier adventure. Now that I actually saw the filly, she was adorable. I leaned down to eye-level with her.

"I am a friend of hers. My name's Anthony." I said and ruffled her mane. It almost covered her horn. Derpy leaned down and nuzzled her.

"Are you all packed kiddo?" she asked. Packed? Packed for what?

"I sure am. It'll be fun staying with Pinkie Pie and the Cakes while you're gone again. It won't be the same without you though, mommy." she added with a frown. Derpy thought she was coming too? I pulled her off to the side for a second.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked her. She smiled.

"I already told you. I'm sticking around until this is over, like it or not. Just let me go get my bags." she said. Her and Dinky went inside and returned a minute later with two large bundles. Shortly, Mrs. Cake walked up and the blue mare and the filly walked back to the bakery together. Derpy waved and turned to me.

"I'm ready, let's go. they're probably waiting on us."

"You could say that." Twilight said from above us. We both gave a little start and looked up at the smirking unicorn. "Should we wait and leave in the morning or go now? It doesn't really matter to me either way." she said. I tossed Derpy's stuff inside and the two of us climbed in.

"Let's go on now. I've never flown at night before. Or at all for that matter, except for the way here." I said. Everyone either shrugged or nodded in agreement. Andy fired up the burner and before long Ponyville was just a speck in the distance. The view was magnificent! It was sunset and the colors just played over the open sky. I looked down to see where exactly we were and remembered something very important.

"You alright down there?" Twilight asked. I weakly nodded from my heap on the floor. "Forget we were scared of heights?" I nodded again. Andy facetaloned.

"This is going to be a long trip."

Nosponratu

The creature at the door wasn't giving up. It dug at it with it's bone white hooves, shreds of wood falling away. The mansion had been sealed from the outside in by the surrounding citizens as soon as they realized what was lurking in their city. Some of the city's most powerful unicorns had erected the strongest  shield spell they could muster and combined it. A few of them had lured the creature inside, (with Blueblood's permission of course) and stayed inside to help defend the royal nephew. It stayed to the outer halls at first but at sun up, it moved inward.

"Must be why it's trying to get through now." one of the guards thought to himself. The prince had been actively helping to fight the...vampire, for lack of a better term, since the first day. However, he had retreated into the interior when he had mysteriously become injured the previous night when he fought the creature himself. He hadn't been seen since. Suddenly there was silence. A light sniffling could be heard from the otherside of the door, then retreating hooves. Another set of hoofsteps came up from behind him. He turned to see Blueblood placing a hoof  on his shoulder.

"You have done well, my servant. I'll take the watch from here. However, there is one more task you can aide me in." the  prince said, taking a step back.

"Of course sir, what can I do for you?"

"I.........hunger........"

"Oh. I'm sure I can get you a sandwich or somethi-............" The guard never got to finish as the beast that was Blueblood bit into his throat and began lapping up the blood that spilled out. The surprised pony only let out a final gurgle as he collapsed.

"For.......you............."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"How about now?"

"No.."

".....Now?"

Andy sighed. He had become the unofficial navigator for the group. This of course lead to Derpy asking the same question every five minutes. For the past four hours. He was trying to be patient but, it was getting old. Fast.

"Listen Derpy, it's getting late. I know we elected to go on through the night, but I'm not familiar with the land, and it could be very easy to get off course in the dark. I'm going to set us down and tie the balloon off for the night. Why don't you try and get some shut-eye, okay" the griffon suggested. He got no response. He looked over his shoulder and saw why. Twilight had dozed off with her head propped up on the edge. Anthony had recovered and was out, leaned up in a corner with the bubble-flanked mare slumped over on his shoulder, snoring softly. He put in down and staked the balloon down with some tent stakes. He took a couple of blankets and some rope. He spread one over the top of the basket and took the other to a nearby tree. Tying the rope to some branches, he hung the blanket from it, effectively making a hammock.

"Gonna be a hell of a lot more comfortable than sleeping on the ground in that basket with those three. A lot quieter too, I can hear them snoring from here." He grumbled, pulling the blanket up around him.

"SNOOOOOOOOORK"

"SNOOOOOOOOORK"

*PHHHHHBBBBBBBTTT*

"Dammit Twilight!"

Andy was suddenly very glad for his hammock.

I was back home. It was early in the night and I was sitting on my back porch in a deck chair enjoying a cup of coffee. I had a small, well worn radio nearby playing some random song. Hmm, never heard that before, sounds good though. I leaned back and drank my coffee. It felt good to see the old place again, just like I'd left it. Finishing my drink, I got up to get some more and found myself pouring two cups.

"Is that for me?" Luna asked, suddenly appearing in a deck chair of her own.

"Of course. I was wondering when you would get here." I replied, handing her the second cup. She tilted her head, surprised.

"You're not surprised." she stated flatly.

"Not really. You are the ruler of the night, and this is obviously a dream, so why not?" I answered with a shrug. I realized it was a dream when I noticed my hands. Clear giveaway. She floated the coffee to her mouth and took a sip, instantly making a face. I couldn't help but laugh. "I always did make it a little on the strong side." I sat back on my chair, turning to face my guest. "I take it you didn't come here to enjoy the night sky from my home." She sat the steaming mug on the railing and sat up to speak.

"Indeed not. Though, I might ask for a tour sometime, this place is pretty nice. It almost reminds me of Sweet Apple Acres, if only a bit smaller. The reason I am in your dream tonight is that my sister and I have some more information on what's going on in Bel Mare. It seems our initial information was faulty, there is no chaos shard in the city, but there is the matter of our adopted nephew. There was an accident at one of his warehouses and a monster was unleashed."

"A monster? What sort of monster?" I asked. These ponies dealt with hydras, ursas (ursai?),  and wolves made of wood. What would they be afraid of? The princess looked up to the moon.

"A creature of legend. One who thrives in darkness, and lives off the life-blood of others."

"A lawyer?" I offered. The gaze she leveled at me would have curdled milk.

"We appreciate thy attempt at a jest, but 'tis not the time." she cleared her throat before continuing. "This is a serious matter. They have let loose a vampire. One that had been sealed since before my imprisonment on the moon."

"A vampire? Seriously? You have those here? They, uh, don't sparkle do they?" I asked. I was curious as to what flavor of vamp this was; nosferatu, Bella Lugosi, or one of those, ehm, modern types. She shook her head.

"The one that was freed is little more than a feral beast. You know of these things?" she inquired.

"I do actually, though, back home, they were little more than myth. You might find the occasional psycho who drank or even bathed in blood, but no actual vampire."  I told her. I was pretty well versed on how to dispatch one. (I sit on a throne  made of lesser nerds!)

"Then you can guess what needs to be done?"

"I can, princess. I'll tell the others in the morning. Anything else?" she walked over and got extremely close.

"Just one thing, my knight...." she said with a coy smile, nearly nose to nose with me. She spread her wings and wrapped them around behind me. Oh, shit! I wasn't expecting this! Suddenly, her wings started fluttering.

Twilight Sparkle stared at the unicorn thrashing around in his sleep. He had a grin on his face and kept giggling. Once in a while, you could hear him mutter. She looked at her other basket buddy.

"Okay Derpy, I think that's enough. We need something stronger than you tickling him with your wings. Ohhh, bring me that bucket of water over there." she said. They grey mare complied. Or rather tried to. On her way back, she tripped, spilling the water on herself and landing on me. My eyes creaked open just in time to see a wall of wet, grey mare headed in my direction. I closed them again. It was too early for this. Derpy got off of my bruised form and shook herself dry like a dog does. I sat up and cracked my neck. The sun was barely above the horizon. Breakfast time.

"Who's hungry?" I asked. The two mares stood at attention. "Good. Twilight, get a fire started. Derpy, we'll need some more water. Andy, you can... Andy? Andy! Ladies?"

"He went hunting in the forest. He'll be gone for a while." Twilight said from behind an impressive pile of firewood. Girl's fast. I went on to get the ingredients out of the supply box. I opened it and pulled out a smaller box. It was pink and marked with three balloons. Twilight noticed and walked over, eying the box carefully.  "It's from Pinkie. You might want to be careful when you open it. Anything could be in there. What were you going to make anyway?"

"Pancakes. Oh, man. If it's me in there again, I'm gonna be pissed." I noticed a crank on one side. A note read "Turn me." I did. A familiar tune played. Right on cue, at the "pop", something did spring out. A table, fully laid out for a grand feast..... of pancakes! Pancakes, fried eggs, juice, coffee it had everything. "Now, how in the heck did she do that?"

"Just Pinkie being Pinkie." Derpy said from above. The three of us sat down and began to dig in. "Should we wait for Andy?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Nah, but we will save him a plate. I have a feeling Pinkie Pie would strangle us if we didn't." I said. I ended up making a sandwich out of flapjacks and eggs with a little syrup added. It was glorious! I finished mine quickly and sat there enjoying my coffee and orange juice. If I didn't know better, this was the same coffee from my dream with Luna. Speaking of... "I should probably wait on Andy to get back, but, Luna was in my dream last night." Twilight put her fork down and looked at me.

"Are you sure it was her and not just a dream of her?" Shea asked. Fair question. I hadn't considered that.

"I'm fairly certain it was her. We sat on my back porch and she told me some more information about what's in Bel Mare. She informed me that it does not have a chaos shard, but a vampire." I said, non-nonchalantly sipping my coffee.

"WHAT!?" Both mares exclaimed. Derpy fell over and Twilight just sat there slack-jawed. "A VAMPIRE? She wouldn't send us out against one of those! It's suicide!" Twilight exclaimed. Derpy coughed and agreed with her.

"What's suicide?" Andy came out of the woods, looking like the cat that ate the canary. I pointed him to his plate. I waited until he sat down.

"The vampire we have to go kill." I answered. Regardless of whatever creature he had just eaten he was already halfway through with his portion. He stopped chewing and stared at me.

"It don't sparkle does it?" he asked around a beak-full of food. I shook my head and mouthed nosferatu. He went back to eating. "Good." He finished his last bite and proceeded to wash up the dishes. While he did that I went and got the map out. Derpy and Twilight followed me to see where we were.

"it looks like we're not that far from their airfield. We should get there in about an hour or two at the most. We should probably put down there. Blueblood's residence is most likely close to the inner part of the city. We should go see him first, before we do anything." I said to my companions. Twilight agreed.

"All done here!" Andy called out.

"Everything packed away? Then let's go." We piled into the Meowth balloon and floated away. I decided to load Frostbite, to show off I had a feeling I might need it. Now that I had it out in good daylight, it looked very familiar. "No wonder it knocked me on my ass." I mumbled to myself.

"What?"

"Andy, does this gun not look familiar to you? Did you look at it before you gave it to me?"

"No and no. Why?"

"It's a .357 magnum. Commonly known as a...."

"Python."

"Right, and most recently used by..."

"....Son of a bitch. Officer Friendly."

"Yep. Rick Grimes." The two mares just stared in silence, completely lost. Twilight leaned over to Derpy.

"Did you follow any of that?"

"Nope."

An hour and a half later we sat down at Downs Airfield. After taking care of the fees, we moved into the city itself.

"Lousy money-grubbing s.o.bs. I just know they charged us double." I grumbled. Twenty bits! Given the condition of the place, five would have been pushing it. I also noted the lack of guards and pointed to this out to the rest of the group. Twilight looked around and noticed a clerk sitting on a bench eating an ice-cream cone. She trotted over.

"Excuse me, sir. Where are the guards? This place should have six or seven at least." she asked. The stallion looked at her and took another bite of his treat.

"All the available guards are at Blueblood's mansion. There was a creature of some sort running amok in the streets and they managed to trap it in there. The guards have set up a perimeter around it in case it gets out. Sadly, the prince hasn't been heard from since yesterday morning." he said. He swallowed the last of his ice -cream and stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, my break is over and I need to get back to work." Twilight came back and told us what she had learned.

"Well, which way is it?" Derpy asked. The purple unicorn's eyes widened.

"I forgot to ask. What about the map?" She asked, lifting out of the pack I'd stuck it in. She scanned over it a few times, growing more frustrated each time. "NO, NO, NO, NO! It's not on here. It'll take forever to find it." Andy tapped her shoulder.

"Uh, Twi?"

"I know it's in the middle of the city, but how far?"

"Twi?"

"Where'd the clerk go? I'll ask him."

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" The unicorn jumped and looked at the grey griffon. He simply pointed straight ahead to a sign. She turned back to us with a sheepish grin on her face.

DIY TOUR OF HISTORIC BEL MARE STARTS HERE!

                       Follow the plaques and enjoy an educational stroll

                       through our fair city ending with a guided tour of the royal mansion.

(refreshments to be provided)

"FREE FOOD!" Andy, Derpy, and I shouted at the same time. Twilight just looked at the three of us like we were crazy. That pony ain't far off.

"We just ate! You three can't possibly be hungry!" She exclaimed. I snorted.

"My dear Ms. Sparkle, where free grub is concerned, I'm always hungry." I told her. Derpy, and Andy dittoed my statement. She sighed in defeat.

"......fine."

A couple hours passed and I was sitting in my house and we arrived at the mansion. Frankly, now that I thought about it, I remembered seeing the roof from the airfield. I shook my head and saw what lay before us. Or rather, lack thereof. Not a soul was to be seen. There was a line that appeared to have been burned into the ground, lots of hoofprints, sandbags, boxes of supplies and weapons, but no guards. I pulled Derpy in close.

"Could you do a quick fly around just to check the other sides of the house?" I asked her. The three of us on the ground spread out and started searching. I moved into a nearby tent, gun drawn. "Anyone alive in there?" I called out. No answer. I opened the flap and regretted it. The smell was overwhelming. Bodies of ponies were piled on top of each other in a heap. i dashed out of there and vomited behind the tent. Andy and Twilight must have heard the noise and came over to see what happened. Andy put a claw on my back.

"You alright?" I shook my head "no". Twilight went to open the tent ,and I yanked her away with my magic.

"Don't. Just don't. Trust me on this."

"What's in there?" she asked. I coughed.

"The guards. What's left of them anyway. I need to check on something in there. I need to see if they were fed on or if they were just killed. Judging by the conspicuous lack of blood out here, I fear it might be the latter." I said, getting up and opening the flap once more. Andy sat me down with a shove.

"Just sit there for a second, I'll check." he said and walked in, the flap closing behind him. Twilight looked at me with a odd expression.

"Fed on?" I cleared my throat and brought over a canteen. Taking a sip of water, I explained.

"That's too many dead bodies for a single vampire. With all those guards, there must be at least two or three. A hungry two or three." The purple pony looked around nervously. "Don't worry, we're fairly safe for the moment. While sunlight doesn't kill them it does weaken them drastically. They wouldn't risk it." i said just as Andy and Derpy came back. The grey mare looked nervous. "Derpy, what is it?" I asked.

"I saw something. I think I saw movement in one of the southeast windows when I flew around there." she said. I nodded. It made sense. It was early afternoon and the sun was slightly to the west, so it would be marginally darker on that side. "That's not all. I also saw three dead guards over there. When I flew lower to get a closer look, I saw large puncture wounds on their necks." she added. I patted her back to reassure her. I accidentally brushed a wing and they sprung open like a switchblade. She blushed and glared at me and I just back away slowly. Seriously, it was an accident!

"Ahem. Thank-you Derpy. We know now that at least three have been fed on, and a possible location on one." I said still keeping my distance. Andy and Twilight fell over laughing. They must know something I don't. Andy tried to speak.

"May-Make it ten. Those in the tent were fed on as well." He said, pulling himself together. It was around two in the afternoon, and I wanted to get this over soon.

"Listen we need to hurry. While it's still light out here we need to go in there and end this. We have to assume Blueblood is one of them. That means we have two to deal with. I hate to, but we need to split up with Andy and Twilight going after the prince and Derpy and I going after the original. If at all possible don't kill Blueblood. If we can kill the original first, he should revert back to normal within a few minutes." I told the group. Andy picked up his sword and gave the shield to Twilight, which she held in her magic grip. I made sure Frostbite's cylinder was full.

"I know what to do in case you can't." he said with a twirl of the blade. "I'll take the east end, you take the west." He strode up to the front door and knocked. The other three of us facehoofed and groaned. "What?" he said, "I was just being polite." We entered and went our separate ways.

"We need to be out of here by nightfall. That's when the vampire's true power comes out." I said before we walked away.

The doors to the western wing slammed shut and darkness fell over us. I lit my horn so that Derpy and I could see. We had secured the main hall and decided to flush them there in order to fight them on our terms. It was cavernous and relatively free of obstacles except for a few tables and seats. We made our way from room to room, Derpy "oohing" and "aaahing" at some of the paintings and sculptures displayed. Some were pretty impressive. I especially liked the pony Venus de Milo.

"Where do you suppose he got the money for all of this?" Derpy asked as we got ready to enter Blueblood's library. I looked back at my companion.

"Focus, Derpy. There are only a few rooms left on this side. The 'thing' is bound to be in one of them. Now, listen. He, or she or whatever has most likely heard us coming and is waiting on us. Now, you do know how to kill a vampire, right?" She shook her head. I picked up a chair and smashed it, taking a leg that had splintered into a sharp point. I gave it to the confused mare. "Where is a pony's heart located?" I asked her. She touched her hoof to the corresponding spot on my chest,  just under Luna's mark. "Take that and jab it right there. As hard as you can." A thud came from the other side of the doors, making us both jump. "I think it's time we introduced ourselves."

"This first door looks like a bathroom." Twilight said, looking the wooden frame up and down. She had the shield slung across her back, while Andy looked skeptical. On it hung a figure of Celestia's silhouette against the rising sun.

"You can tell just by looking at the door?" he asked. Twilight shook her head.

"No. I think someone should've cracked a window or something. You really can't smell that?" She asked, holding her nose with her hoof. She eased the door open and quickly slammed it shut again, wedging the shield against it. Andy readied the sword.

"What is it?"

"Found him."

"So why did you shut him in?" The spooked Sparkle pointed to the figure on the door.

"You see that? This bathroom is themed around my teacher. Vampires can't stand the sight of her or her image." She sat down and let out a sigh of relief. "That bathroom has one on each wall. He's not going anywhere any time soon."

I bucked the door open and flared the light on my horn to light up the room as we stormed in. It had been wrecked. End tables, chairs and books were destroyed and scattered everywhere. It looked like the vampire had made a nest of some kind, or was trying to. It's pale face peeked over the edge of a overturned table and let out a screech that made me loose the horn light spell, plunging us into darkness. I didn't realize it had that much power. I turned to Derpy.

"RUN!"

The doors slammed shut before we took the first step. Fire wasn't my specialty, but I quickly lit a broken chair off to the side. It was just in time to see two white hooves connect with my side and send me flying. The gun dropped to the ground as I landed against the wall and fell behind a bookcase. I felt a sharp pain in one of my legs and looked to see it bury its teeth in my flesh. I grabbed the creature in my telekinesis and held him at the ceiling. He screeched again and made me drop him. After my head cleared from the ringing the last thing I recall is a large book closing in fast.

I came to in darkness, a void of some kind. I couldn't see anyone or hear anything.

"Hello? Derpy? AndyTwilightMr.Vampire anybody?" I think I said. I couldn't even hear my own voice. I don't know how long I was there. It could've been minutes or hours for all I know.

"....Why her first?" A voice that seemed to come from all around me asked. I yelped in surprise and looked around. Not sure what I expected to see, in this darkness. Man, I'm a genius.

"Nah, not really. Especially compared to that purple one." it said.

"Who are you? Where are you? What are you? What's going on? Where am I? What is this? How-ZIIIIIIP!" I was cut short as a zipper replaced my mouth in a flash of light. I felt a presence close in from behind and was gripped in a magic I hadn't felt before. It was cold, but it burned at the same time. The magic turned me around to face.....a pair of green eyes surrounded by blue smokey-stuff about an inch from my nose. I struggled against the hold but, it didn't do any good.

"MMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHH!"

"Ha! Easy there, young one. I mean you no harm. In fact, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here talking now. As to your questions; A remnant of the Nightmare, your subconscious, a portion of Luna' power, you're unconscious and your friend is running out of room to get away from the vampire, see answer two. There, I believe that covers it. Now let's discuss WHY I'M here shall we?" The smokiness asked. The zipper disappeared and my mouth was back.

"What is the Nightmare and yes, why are you here?"  As I asked, the smokey-cloud coalesced into the vague form of a pony. It looked around.

"You know, I did say this is your subconscious, your mind. You could spruce the place up a bit." Smokey said.

"Smokey!? Thou are most certainly not going to call me that! I won't allow-ow-ow...WHOOPS!" He yelped as a room appeared from my imagination.

"AND I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT A HE!" She roared. I sat down at a chair "human-style" as Lyra called it, with my front hooves together on the table.

"Then stop reading my thoughts."

"Deal! What is this place? It looks sorta high-tech. Oh, and Smokey will do." she said. The "place" was the observation lounge from the U.S.S. Enterprise NC1701-D. My favorite one. I even had stars sailing past the windows. She trotted over and sat to my right.

"Okay. The Nightmare was more or less a creature from the realm of dreams that fed on Luna's jealousy and sadness. It caused her to try and bring eternal night to Equestria. To prevent this, Celestia used the Elements of Harmony and sealed Luna in the moon for eternity. However, after a thousand years, certain conditions came together that allowed her to escape. Six mares the found the Elements and used them once again to defeat Nightmare moon. The creature was cast out of her and destroyed. Mostly anyway. A small shred of the creature remained. Luna soon discovered me and locked me away, using my power to augment her own. When she made you her knight, I saw the opportunity and escaped. You already saw a sample of my power." She walking over to the windows.

"What sample?" I asked.

"The first time you fired Frostbite the big ice spike-thing. I actually took control for a split second when you shot. That's  also kinda why you lost balance." She told me as she came back. I turned my chair to face her. "That was only a small display." My eyes widened.

"So what do you want from me?" I asked her politely. I didn't want to piss her off.

"Permission."

"Permission?"

"I can only use my full power with permission. That and to be let out every now and again. In return, I'll amplify your power and you'll have access to my memories and knowledge. Win-win." She added with a smile showing some unnaturally pointy teeth for a pony.

"Things that sound to good to be true usually are. I know there's a catch, now spill it or it's out the airlock with you." I said flatly. This whole thing smelled fishy. I was in my current form thanks to another deal I'd made not so long ago. See, I learn, I'm smrat! She sighed and hung her head.

"Alright. It will change your appearance. Your left eye will look like mine. You'll still see normally, but it'll look different. That, and your cutie mark will be replaced with an image of the 'Mare in the Moon.' Oh, and your mane will turn white." I smirked, the I started laughing out right. "What is so funny?"

"I haven't got a cutie mark! BWA-HA-HAHAHA! If that's all then, deal!" I said around my fit of giggles. I reached my hoof out. "Shake on it." She cocked her head to one side, and accepted.

"It is done."

"Now, Let's save Derpy!"

"Heeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Anthony! Wake up! Yipe!" She did a barrel roll to dodge the creatures attacks and landed in the rafters, safe for the moment. The monster saw that it couldn't reach her and went for the next easiest target, eager to feed. "NO! Leave him alone, you creep!" It just ignored her. Why bother with that one? He was hungry. He leaned in to Anthony's neck.

"AAAAANNNNNTHHHHOOONNNYYYY!"

"You think we should see if they need help?" Twilight asked. She was leaning against the wall opposite the bathroom they had found Blueblood in. Andy was slumped against the door dozing. He stirred and looked at the mare.

"Naw. If him and that other one need help, they'll let us know." A deep rumble shook the hall.

"You feel something?"

"Nope."

A deep boom reverberated through the library, making the abomination hesitate. The pony from earlier had changed. It was still blue but the mane was now a billowing, shimmering white and his flank now had a mark resembling the mare in the moon. Slowly, the unicorn stood up. His prey's green eyes snapped open.

"Think long and hard about that bite sweetie, it'll be your last." That didn't sound like he did before. He decided to back away and assess the change. Well, he tried to anyway. The last nosferatu in Equestria found himself frozen to the floor. He screeched, trying to run away. The only thing that accomplished was making Derpy lose her balance and fall to the floor.

"Tsk tsk tsk. You must do more than that. No? I guess this will be over sooner than I thought." It said and turned to the fallen mare, its voice changing again, going back to what it was before.

"Derpy, it's me. I'll explain later, but you need to leave. Now! Go! Get to the others and stay there! I'll be along soon." He said. The mare nodded, bewildered and took off through the door leaving a pegasus shaped hole. He then walked to the far end of the room. The next time he spoke it sounded like the new voice.

"Creature, I know not what manner of evil brought you into being, but you end now. You probably were a good stallion once, and I give you one last chance to repent for your wickedness."

...

...

...

"You have nothing to say? So be it." A large bubble formed around the vampire as the ice melted away. "May The Faust have mercy on your soul, I surely won't. Ashes to ashes, beast." A stomp of his hoof filled the bubble with white hot flames, scorching all they touched. Within moments, nothing remained but a small scattering of ash. Anthony grabbed this is his magic and sent it through the window, scattering it into the wind. "Dust to dust."

"Whoa."  I spun around to see the source of the sound. Andy had his head poked through the hole in the door Derpy had made. Of course it was the rear-end side. I wobbled a bit waving him in. He caught me before I hit the floor. "What happened?" he asked.

"I must've used more power than I realized. You did. Believe it or not, that was all yours. Every last bit to be precise. You're running on mine now. Don't worry too much, it'll recharge after a while." I said. Poor Andy nearly dropped me.

"What in the hell? Derpy said you were acting weird, but answering yourself like that? That's strange even for you." He said as we got out the door and down the hall, me still leaning on him. I waited until we got the Prince taken care of. Turns out, we were right about the head vampire thing. He reverted back to normal but, was currently unconscious.We were sitting in his private study when I decided to explain.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet The Nightmare."

Some downtime

Twilight fainted right off the bat. I guess she had good reason, being as she was one of the ones who tried to banish her the second time around. Derpy looked worried but, didn't say anything and Andy just looked confused.

"So, let me get this straight. This Nightmare thing is in your head now?"

"Yes." Smokey answered.

"And you're calling it 'Smokey'?"

"Yes, for the moment her name is Smokey. Unless you can think of a better one." (hint-hint)

"Oh, it's a her. And she comes out when she wants?" I sighed and Smokey facehoofed.

"Listen, I've already explained this a dozen times already. I can only come out when he lets me. You should be able to tell from the voice change."  Derpy decided to ask a question of her own.

"You're not controlling him are you?" I shook my head.

"No, Derpy. We made a deal. The both of us will benefit from it, if we adhere to the rules." I answered. She had another ready to go.

"What's it like? Having an entire other being in your head like that, I mean?" I was worn-out and getting tired of the questions. I shudder to think of what would happened if Twi were conscious. I-er, We decided to have some fun with Derpy.

"It is strange and will take some getting used to, but it just kinda feels like we added another pony to the group, is all." Her eyes swiveled around in circles.

"Whut?" I chuckled loudly at the display, which earned me a wing slap. I got an idea. I guess you could say the hit knocked some sense into me. (first time for everything, I guess?) Levitating a piece of paper over to me I started jotting down a note to the unicorn laid out on the couch. Smokey wrote it out.

Dear Twilight

We decided to go out and enjoy the sights of the town. We took five hundred bits from the Prince in lieu of proper payment. Don't worry, we'll be back soon. Probably bring you back a doggy bag or book or something. maybe.

~Smokey~

She folded it and left it on the pillow next to her head. I didn't see any problems. Andy was the first out the door

"I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse!" Derpy and I just froze. He sensed something was wrong and turned his head around to see two vastly different reactions. I was laughing my ass off and poor Derpy was mortified.

"You wouldn't dare..." she growled. Her wings flared out threateningly, her head lowered and she pawed at the ground with her hoof like she was ready to charge. The grey griffon smiled grimly.

"As hungry as I am, I just mi--OOF!" he gasped as Derpy headbutted him in the gut. Not a terribly hard hit and her giggle only confirmed that she was fooling around. Still, I figured we had some time to kill. It might be fun to see how this turned out. Smokey agreed. What could be more fun than watching two friends knock each others brains out?

"FIGHT!"

"FIGHT!"

"FIGHT!"

"FIGHT!"

After Andy recovered from the initial hit, it devolved into a pro-wrestling match. I'm talking old school W.W.F., the kind me and my older cousins used to get into almost everyday. Smokey and I decided to do commentary.

"Thank you for joining us tonight in this not-so sold out arena in beautiful Bel Mare! I'm Kart Boss and with me is Smokey! How ya' doin'?"

"I'm doing great, Boss! Still talking to the voices in your head I see."

"Yeah. I got one that just won't stop. Speaking of things that won't stop, this action is starting to heat up! This match is for the.... the uh.....uhhhhh, what is this one for again?"

"No idea! Let's just enjoy the match-OOOOOOH! That looked painful! Let's go to the replay."

"......we have a replay?"

Andy had grabbed Derpy from behind in an attempt to put her in a full nelson but, with a creative move with her wings, she managed to slip away and trip him with her tail. He hit with a dull thud. With a hoof on each limb, she pinned him. I raced out and started a count.

"ONE"

"TWO" Andy flexed both wings and threw himself and her  into the air. He quickly positioned her for a picture perfect

piledriver. Her skull connected with the floor with a sickening CRACK!

"Aw man! That floor is never gonna be the same again. The mare, however, seems unfazed." Derpy then got her hooves around Andy's head and flung him into the nearest corner, where he landed on his ass, slumped against the walls. The pegasus charged toward him, turning at the last second.

"Is that? It is! One of the most humiliating moves known, the dreaded stinkface!"

"Normally, yes. But this is Derpy Hooves. The Iron flank of infinite destruction!"

Andy came out of his daze just in time to see her backside headed right for him.

".......mother." Smokey and I both winced at the impact. Not only was Andy K.O'ed, but there were small cracks along the wall where she hit.

"You want to call it?"

"I think we should, yeah." I strode over and held Derp's hoof up.

"The winner via failure to answer a ten count is Derpy!" She struck a victorious pose in the middle of the.... now half destroyed front entry. I looked around.

"Maybe we should get out of here now." I said to the other two. I never did figure out where the music came from.

As we walked through the town, we noticed it was strangely quiet. Not a sound was heard nor was a pony seen.

"Where do you suppose everyponys at?" Derpy asked, her eyes swiveling every which way. I never realized she could actually control them. Every now and again I thought I could see a flicker of movement behind the windows of a few buildings.

"They're probably staying inside until the all-clear sounds." A thought struck me. "Twilight did send word back to Luna and Celestia that the problem was taken care of, right?" I asked. Derpy rubbed the back of her head and whistled innocently while Andy just cleared his throat and looked away. I groaned. I knew we had forgotten something. I could hear Smokey laughing her non-corporeal tail off in my head. I was about to ask one of them to fly back and report when I realized something. "I can do it! Face to face no less! I've been there before, I can teleport. I'll just lock onto Derpy here as a metaphysical anchor, and do-POOF!" I disappeared in a bright flash.

"How long do you think he'll be gone?" Andy asked. Derpy turned to him and shrugged.

"Heck if I know. Let's go find some food." She said and trotted off. Andy stood there, scratching his feathery head.

"Don't you need to stay in one spot, so he can come back?"

"Nah. He locked on to me. So wherever I am, he'll come right to the spot."

"Huh. Didn't know it worked like that."

"Neither did I."

"What?" The odd pegasus had stopped and was staring at a brightly lit sign. Andy thought he had seen one similar on Earth.

"Wha-Oh! Look! Three Fillies Shakes and Pies! Let's go there!" Ah, that had been it. there was just one problem with the idea.

"I hate to disappoint you but, he had the money when he left, you know." he explained. Derpy looked like she was about to cry. Her eyes watered and her bottom lip trembled. Oh no, not this.

After a hop, skip and a jump through the in-between, I appeared in the castle. As my vision cleared, I realized I was looking at a door. My teleport spell should have put me somewhere near Luna, so I guess she's through there.

"Guess again, chief."

"Huh?"

*sigh* "Turn around." I did as Smokey said and found the Princess of the Night. She was staring right at me. I had popped in in front of her as she was heading out the door carrying a tea cup. Said cup hit the floor and broke when she saw the changes in my appearance. She then said something very un-ladylike.

"Shit." I gave a small wave.

"Hi! Long time no see, Lulu." I noticed the hoof I waved with still held the money bag. Oops. "Be back in a sec. We need to talk." I said and reentered the In-between. I opened a partial portal at the other end and tossed the bag through, smacking Derpy's flank. With a yelp, she spun around just as I closed up. All she saw was the bag hit the ground. I would have hung around, but I had pressing business in Canterlot.

Luna was in shock.  That thing should not have been. That was the one last piece of the Nightmare that the Elements sparred. Why or how, she did not know. Out of fear she had sealed it in the deepest part of her soul. Now it was out in the world once more. Something seemed off about it, different than the Nightmare she once was.

"We need to talk indeed." she said out loud to herself. She cleaned up the shattered cup and went to the throne room. She sat on her throne and waited, so lost in thought, she didn't notice when Anthony reappeared to her left. A billowing white caught her eye. Anthony stood there with a smile.

"So, how was Bel Mare?" Her knight shrugged.

"It was okay, I guess. Took a tour, raised some Hell killing a vampire, saved Blueblood, found out I have a demon in me. You know, boring stuff." I told her as if were no big deal. She blinked.

"And you're okay with....." she trailed off. I picked up for her

".....Smokey? Not really, but she kinda helped me out so, for now we're straight."

"Smokey?" The said demon thing came out.

"Yes?" The Princess started a little at the sound of her voice. She cleared her throat.

"I thank-you for assisting my knight. I can sense that you intend no immediate harm, but I must ask you why you chose him? There were other knights before him."

"Simply on a whim. That, and I thought he was cute. Anyway it happened when you gave him that mark. I've been going over his memories in here. He was an actual human before he crossed paths with Discord?" Smokey asked. Luna nodded.

"Do you plan on staying with him?"

"Yeah, for a while anyway. Seeing everything through his eyes is interesting, I'll give him that."  She leaned in close to Luna. "And just between us, I think that gray one has a bit of a crush on him. He hasn't realized it yet though." she said with a giggle. Luna dead-panned.

"If he didn't before, I bet he does now." She said flatly. Smokey giggled.

"Nah, he's sort of taking a nap." she was saying before being cut off by a loud growl coming from my stomach. She made a snapping sound with my hoof. "That's right! He and the others were fixing to eat when he came back to tell you about your nephew. He hasn't eaten since early this morning. Could we be excused?" Smokey asked. Luna nodded rose.

"I think I'll join you."

"T'would be an honor milady."

"Oh you're back."

"Did I miss anything?" I asked with a yawn. The Lunar Princess couldn't help but laugh.

"Hm-hm, nothing important. We're just on our way to dinner."

"Oh good, I'm pretty hungry."

Andy and Derpy stared through the darkened windows of the restaurant, their faces pressed against the glass. Of course it was closed! Everyone was hiding in their homes safe and sound from the vampire that they didn't know was dead.

"What do we do know?" Derpy asked her dining companion. She leaned against the door which swung open scaring the crap out of both of them. They looked in, a darkened kitchen beckoned them. Andy grinned wickedly. Every kind of sweet treat they could think of sat there, taunting them.

"My dear Derpy, I've got an idea. Just leave a hundred bits on the counter, to cover expenses. Tonight, we eat like kings!"

"B-but I'm a girl." Derpy protested. They slipped in and locked the door behind them. He walked into the kitchen and flipped on the lights, looking at all the different desserts. He glanced back at the pegasus.

"Like kings, my friend, kings." Some poor pony was going to be fired over this one.

While Andy and Derpy gorged themselves on sweets and Anthony dined at Canterlot Castle, Twilight rolled over and off the couch, hitting the floor with a PLOP! The tile she landed on shook loose and bumped a table close by. A snow-globe fell over and rolled into a priceless vase, which of course went off the side and snagged the cord on some drapes, pulling them down as well. As the curtains fell, a small piece of a red gem slid free of a fold in the fabric and came to rest in front of the nose of the sleeping unicorn. Her eyes fluttered open in surprise, her mind trying to figure out where she was. The gem reacted when it hit the floor, and if she could have seen it, the whole building, sinking Twilight in pudding.

"That must be a Chaos Sha-glarblearble.." *smack smack* "This is pretty tasty!" * Nom-nom-nom SLURP!* "I have to eat my way to safety! It's the *burp* only way." She grabbed them gem with her magic and started eating her way to the window. "Best. Dream. Ever." She thought to herself as she opened the glass. The cool evening air hit her, bringing her back to reality.

"CELESTIA DAMMIT!" She hollered when she realized that she needed to go and get Blueblood. She teleported into his chamber just as his horn slipped under the chocolatey goo. She pulled him out with her magic and teleported the both of them to safety. Two chocolate covered ponies on the lawn in front of the former residence. The Prince was still out cold. He would sure be in for a shock when he woke up, what, with his house now being a pile of pudding and all. A flash an the flapping of wings announced the return of her friends. "Perfect timing." She thought to herself. Each of them carried a takeout bag. "At least that's something."  Anthony was about to say something. A cold stare from Twilight shut him down quick. "Yes the house is pudding. Yes, we're covered in it. Don't ask why or how, but I found a Chaos Shard. Whatever is in those bags had better be for me." she said with a small growl in her voice. After taking careful evaluation all three regretted bringing her chocolate pudding.

There is no relaxation for those with evil intentions

(Cause I know some of y'all are thinking it.)

"You know buddy, things have  been a little weird around here lately. Ever since Discord's untimely (but not completely undeserved) demise, there has been an influx of chaos magic. Without someone to direct it, it just runs rampant. Nobod-ehm, nopony suspected just how important a role Discord actually played. Now, we just had a storm that rained mice made of cheese. The poor things ate themselves to death. Before that, there was a house in the city of Canterlot that exploded when shaving cream suddenly came flowing in from the windows. Luckily the family got out uninjured, though they smelled pretty good. Let's not forget my personal favorite, the sentient apple. Sadly, I only discovered that after I bit into it. *sigh* It was delicious. Anyway, I'm getting off track. The ponies in the town we were staying in figured it was our fault. The two who gave up their lives on their home-world to save theirs. Thankfully they didn't demand our heads, just our freedom. Though, I can't complain too much, all things considered. We're only under minimum sec-"

"GOD DAMMIT! You've been talking to that same mouse for three months! Three. Friggin. Months. Telling the exact same story each time! I'm only going to ay this once and only once; SHUT THE HELL UP, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" The mouse let out a terrified "squeak" and darted back into the tiny hole in the wall, only to poke his nose out to peer at the angry, sleepy griffon.

"So how long do you think they'll keep us here, Andy?" I asked the recently griffonized human. He turned over in his bed and looked at me next to the far wall. He grumbled a bit before answering.

"I wouldn't think it would be too terribly long. After all, we DID return princess Celestia. We DID defeat Discord. We did...um...ah, hell. I know we did something else." he said, trailing off in thought or dozing off. I chuckled and turned back to my audience.

"Before I go any further, when I said minimum security, I may have over exaggerated. It was less like the dungeon I was in before and more like a posh hotel room. In fact, it was more like house arrest. If you considered Canterlot castle a house. A few Ponyville residents had come to the conclusion that they should take the law into their own hooves. The royal sisters had locked us up for our own safety. They didn't want to, but, after the first couple of incidents at the library involving more than a few ponies getting frostbite, the petitions, and finally the angry mob with torches and pitchforks, they eventually relented. It isn't too bad at all, if you ask me. We have the run of the castle for most of the day, we just can't go beyond the gate. Our friends can also visit whenever they please. The only drawback is we have to have a guard escort us at all times. I could usually be found in the library, reading up on Equestrian history and learning new spells. Andy however was usually outside, learning how to fly. It took a long time to learn how to use wings, apparently. It was in my research that I heard about another effect of Discord's demise. Holes in reality began opening up all over the place. The most notable of which so far, was a monstrous soviet seaplane that squashed the garden maze one morning. Boy, did I have plans for that beauty. It's fuel tanks were completely empty so, either I would need to find a steady supply of diesel or find an alternate power source. I'm thinking of turning it into a dirigible. What do you think?" I asked my conversation partner. He (or is it a she?) licked its paws, turned around, lifted its tail and.... "Okay. Crap idea, I get it." I shook my head to clear my thoughts and realized I was asking a mouse for advice. A snore from my best friend got my attention. After his death, most of Discord's doings had returned to more or less normal. The only things that had remained were our new bodies and my talent with ice. Mumbling curses at the dead draconequus, I climbed into my own bed and cut loose with an epic yawn. "YOWCH!"

"Errgh! What now?"

"I bit mah thongue."

"Heh-heh. Dumb ass." I grabbed my pillow with telekinesis and flung it at him.

"BA-KAWK!"

I rolled over and went to sleep, content in my victory. I slept like a deadpony until I was shaken awake early the next morning. I blinked the bleariness away and looked at the one about to receive the cold hoof of justice. It was the guard who usually accompanies me on my trips to the castle's library. I grinned. Andy and I loved picking on this guy about his unfortunate name and cutie mark, which was simply a bluish-white orb in a silver ring. Oddly enough, he had the same emblem on his chest-plate. After making sure I was awake, the large, fair skin-toned earth pony walked over and woke up the snoozing griffon. When he had our attention he finally spoke.

"You need to get up and make yourselves presentable. The princesses have requested your presence in the royal dining hall. They have something...of...interest to discuss with you two. I'll be in the hall." he instructed us and left us to get ready. In the blink of an eye, Andy had claimed the bathroom, leaving me to wait. Or so he thought. I had learned an interesting spell in my studies. I super cooled my coat, mane and tail. This froze all moisture on my body and caused the sweaty grime to stick to the ice. I then just used telekinesis to remove the dirty ice and drop it into the trash can. I shined with cleanliness. I just threw on some cologne annnnd...done. Just as Andy emerged with only a few feathers out of place. We opened the door and let our escort know we were ready. On the way, I wondered what was on Celey and Lulu's minds. (After spending a few months with someone, you get pretty familiar with them) They had invited us to have breakfast with them only a couple of times since they had brought us here, as it was usually brought to our room. I figured it must be important. A snicker and tap from Andy's wing got my attention. He motioned to our friend. Oh, right. I started stomping loudly on the rugs on the shiny marble floor as we made our way to the breakfast meeting. Andy picked up his part perfectly.

CLOMP

CLOMP

CLOMP

CLOMP

CLOMP

"BWOOOOOOOWN"

CLOMP

CLOMP

CLOMP

CLOMP

CLOMP

"BWOOOOOOOWN" Private Pony Stark just rolled his eyes and groaned.

"I can't wait until I get promoted."

===========================================================================

Celestia, princess of the sun, and co-ruler of Equestria, sat at her usual position at the table. Her stomach growled loudly. She was starving, but wanted to wait on her friends. Before her was a plate of waffles, a glass of orange juice, and three empty chairs. Her sister, she could understand. She had wolfed hers down and went straight to bed. The previous day's night court had been exceedingly taxing, according to Luna anyway. She stared at the other two seats, thinking of who belonged in them. She smiled. She had become rather fond of the two former humans in the time they had stayed in the castle. There hadn't been a single dull moment while they had been around. Heck, they'd even taught her nephew, Prince Blueblood, not to be so self-centered. Still, they were late and the waffles were getting cold. She heard a strange thumping sound as she brought the cool glass of juice to her lips. Just as the liquid sunshine hit her tongue, the hall doors flew open.

"I AM IRON MANE!"

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

All three of the newcomers stopped and gaped in awe as the princess did a picture perfect spit-take. I had never seen one in real life before. She motioned for us to be seated and for the guard to leave us. As the food disappeared and we all felt pretty full Celestia decided it was time to get to the matter at han-er hoof.

"Anthony, Andy, I have a proposition for you two. How would you like to clear your names?" she asked, studying our reactions. She had our rapt attention. "I thought so." She levitated two folders from a table behind her and gave one to both of us. "These files contain the results of some private research I've been doing on the phenomenon that have been occurring all over our world. Each event has been documented in detail. I'll give you a moment to skim over them." She said as I opened my folder. I decided not to complain about the droplets of juice on the cover. Each event was accompanied by a photograph of.....something. All I could see was a bright, blurry blob in the middle of each picture. Wait a minute. It was in each picture. Every blob looked nearly the same. I looked at the princess in confusion. "I see you've noticed the pattern." she said with a chuckle. "My research assistant and I have concluded that the major events are centered around those things. It seems that the further away from them one is, the less severe the effects are. 'Shards of Chaos' is what I believe she called them. They appeared a few days after He was destroyed."

"Um, she?" I asked. Andy was still flipping through the pages. Celestia smiled.

"Yes, she. You already know her. you know her particularly well, Anthony. I refer to my student, Twilight Sparkle." she answered. "She has hypothesized that if all the shards are collected and brought together, the chaos magic will return to normal. Though we can't be entirely sure until we try." I considered her proposal. If we did what she asked, we would end ponies suffering, clear our names, and see the rest of the world at the same time. I looked at Andy. He met my gaze. We both nodded in agreement. Andy spoke up.

"You want us to go out to parts unknown, alone, and gather physically manifested chaos and bring it back here?" he asked. Celestia nodded.

""You won't be going alone though. Twilight will accompany you as well as those you deem necessary. Also, in doing this you will be acting on behalf of my sister and myself. That means you'll be getting an official title as well as an allowance from the treasury." She answered. In other words, we'd be in her employ and be getting paid. I stood up and stretched. I had one last question.

"When do we start?"