Futarama!: Asterisk (*)
50 SHADES DUMBER: FLUTTERSHY'S IDIOTIC SEX FANTASIES
Parody of A Harmless Fantasy Right? by Broneyman2000
Written by That Gamer!
Also, every time I put words in asterisks (*), it's "like an action". Also, it means the author is "like an idiot".
"Hay where am I! Why is it so dark!?" Rainbow Dash was somewhat terrified when she awoke in a "doungun". A doungun is kinda like a basement, FYI. Also, Rainbow was about as scared as she was in Cupcakes and, considering how many times she was in that...
"Oh hai Dashie, nice too see yoo awake," said Fluttershy, mixing up "sexy" with "Tommy Wiseau".
"Hey, Fluttershy, I have no bucking idea what you're doing, but let me go!" Rainbow exclaimed. Oh, yeah, she was in a small cell. Forgot to mention that.
"Hah-hah-hah-hah, what a funny storee, Mahrk," Fluttershy laughed.
"Plot-hole..." Rainbow Dash swore under her breath, pulling a glass of water out of nowhere and sipping from it.
"Anyways, how is yoo sex life?"
One spittake from Rainbow Dash later...
"Oh, oh... Sorry..." Fluttershy said, going back to her normal demeanor. "A-anyways, I-I-I-I kinda can't let you go is because you're my prisoner or something..."
"Prisoner? What? Prinsoner, what-what?" Rainbow Dash started asking.
"Well, u-um, a-at your birthday, you were k-kinda, urm, 'naughty'," Fluttershy replied, shrinking back a little.
Ol' Dashie raied an eyebrow. "Huh?"
"W-well, y-you've been d-drinking a lot since you turned t-t-twenty one," Fluttershy explained. "A-a-and then one day, y-you did some... Somet-t-t-things with Pinkie a-and, according to fanfiction writers, i-it means you've been a b-bad m-m-marefriend, s-so that means a w-week in prision... A-at least in Broneyman2000's world. But if you don't like it-"
"First off of all, we live in That Gamer's messed up little world," Rainbow Dash interrupted Fluttershy. "That's why I'm blind. Second, marefriend? What?! Since when am I your marefriend?! I thought I was being forced together with Applejack!"
"Well, a-again, this is based off of Broneyman2000's world," Fluttershy reminded Rainbow Dash.
"Oh, yeah..."
"But it's also kinda my fantasy..." Fluttershy mumbled, trying to be as quiet as possible.
Somehow, Rainbow Dash could still hear it: "You're fantasy? Fluttershy, I don't wanna call you stupid, but... WHAT? Really, WHAT?!"
"Um, I-I kinda l-like BDSM, so, um, this is kinda good for me..." Fluttershy said, pulling a whip out of her rear. "Now, I need to, um, 'punish; you... I guess." *whip*
"Ouch!" Dashie cried. "Not to sound stupid, but what was that for?"
"I-I told you you're my prisoner," Fluttershy said. "O-or, if you don't like it, I-I think 'slave' is better. O-or what about captive?"
"I dunno! But just because I'm your... Whatever doesn't mean you have to whip me!"
"...Actually, yes. Yes it does," Fluttershy deadpanned.
"WHY?!" Rainbow Dash whined. Yes, she whined.
"Well, um, in my f-fantasy, we're in the year 1500," Fluttershy answered slowly. "A-and back then, prisoners were whiped and tortured."
"You know that, in the 1500s, there were acid showers?... Right?" Rainbow Dash enquired nerviously.
"...So this might also go into necrophilia..." Fluttershy replied quite indirectly.
"Fluttershy, let me go! I'm scared for once in my life!" Rainbow said.
Fluttershy thought about it for a moment before asking, "What about that time when your wing got caught under a rock?"
"I didn't p!$$ myself then!" Rainbow Dash snapped. Seconds later, she said, "Wait, ignore what I said then."
"S-sorry, but I-I heard you... About on the t-topic of l-letting you go..." *whip*
Fluttershy then bent down and turned Rainbow on her back. OhyeahthecagewasopenIforgottomentionthat moving on.
"H-hey, what was I doing on my stomach?! And I dunno what you're planning on doing, but wouldn't it be better to keep me on my ba-AAAAAH! What in the holy name of buck is in my plot!?"
"Oh, um, well, I-I would love to tell you w-what it is, b-but I wanna be vauge a-and just say t-that Twilight helped make this somewhat possible."
"How?... Is a song I should listen to. Anyways: Twilight helped y-... Oh buck no..."
"OK, well, um, to explain, y-you're k-kinda tied down with magic," Fluttershy explained,."I mean, you could probably see it for yourself, b-but you're k-kinda blind. A-anyways, Twilight also kinda allowed me to have a marehood and-"
"No. No. No. No," Rainbow Dash kept saying. She knew what Fluttershy was gonna say. "No. No. No. No. No no no no no no no no nonononononono-"
"You guessed it... Well, you didn't, but, yes, I have a c0ck," Fluttershy finished. "10 inches, I-I think..."
"*eep!*" Rainbow Dash said in asterisks. "...Actually, something I never got was... Why is it called a 'marehood'?"
"Because a mare is a female horse and we have... Y'know," Fluttershy suggested.
Rainbow Dash groaned. "If they're gonna write all this M-rated clop, then why not call it what it is - A V@G!N@."
"T-that is true, but can we get back to the plot?" Fluttershy asked.
"You don't need to get back into it, since you're already there," Rainbow Dash pointed out.
"Right..." Fluttershy muttered. "Anyways... Um... Yeah, i-it feels good, I think. So, um, while you where asleep 'c-cause you passed out at this party... I-I-I realized this was my chance, I think, um, and acquired everything I needed... I-I hope and I may have, possibly, one some off chance gave -m-m-myself a... A... A hoof job while you where asleep and i-i-it was so hot, I-I mean this liquid came out of me a-and it was... Was-was warm and I never experienced an orgasm like that before."
"...What does that have to do with anything?!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
"Nothing," Fluttershy admitted. "Also, Chrysalis is watching."
Initially, Rainbow Dash didn't believe Fluttershy, even though she knew of their relationship. Then she took one look to the left...
"Holy bucking $h!t!" Rainbow said in shock. "What? What? What? Why?"
"I told her she could do this on the condition that Twilight and I could watch," Chrysalis explained.
"Oh oka- WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash as about to accept it, then the second part sank in. "Twilight! I... I thought something better to do! Y'know, PLANNING FOR SEASON 4!... A-and being a princess, but that's less important!"
"Hey, FrIeNd, I never wanted to do the p!ng@$ thing again," Twilight shrugged. "But Fluttershy managed to talk me into it. The only condition was that I could see what she was gonna do with it."
"...WHAT?" Rainbow Dash once again repeated her apparent catch-word of the story. "Just... Just tell me you're not getting off on this!"
*POOMF* "Does that answer your question?" Twilight enquired.
Rainbow Dash groaned again and felt like saying "What?!" once more. "Just... Just leave, OK?"
"But Fluttershy said-" Chrysalis tried to argue, but ol' Dash shot her a glare that... Glare. "Fine, fine! C'mon, we're going, Twilight."
"I wanted to see it..." Twilight mumbled, getting up and going upstairs with Chrysalis. "Hey, you know I'm an alicorn, right?"
"What?"
There was a brief silence.
"Um... You... You have been asleep for hours," Fluttershy stated after said short silence. "A-and I think I'm horny again."
"Fluttershy, I swear to Faust," Rainbow hissed, "if you stick that thing even an inch farther up my flank...!"
"O-Ok! I-I guess we can do something different first..." Fluttershy half-winked in an asterik (*wink*) and gave an emoticon: ;). "Now, i-if you want to, you can... Um, s-suck me d-d-dry..."
Fluttershy then moved rainbow on her knees... Then she turned Rainbow over and then put her on her knees. Then she turned Rainbow Dash to look at her (while still kneeling). Then Fluttershy turned Rainbow back around, put Rainbow off of her knees, flipped Rainbow onto her (Fluttershy's) back, took her (Fluttershy's) c0ck out, get her on her stomach, force her onto her knees and make her face Fluttershy. And then, for no good reas*plop*
"Wah, ahleef if nah eh guh @ff," Rainbow Dash sighed, kielbasa sausage gracing her mouth.
Um, well, with nothing else to do, Rainbow could only suck. Suck that 10 inch d!ck that went almost all the way into her mouth. To almost *misspell* deep trought her. Anyways, Dash really wanted to bite Flutter... OK, buck it, Futashy's, ahem, "mass" 'cause of the intense feeling of rape she had at this point. But Futa was apparently her "marefriend", so doing that wouldn't have been that OK. And was her fantasy (even though she wasn't taking full advantage of it). *title drop* It was just a harmless fantasy, right?... Yeah, right.
"Oh... Um, Rainbow, I-I'm not sure if you're a l-lesbian or not, but if you are, and I'm not saying that's bad, but you're k-kinda good at this..." Futashy commented after a minute or suckage.
"Ya but you're also a filly and you clearly know what makes a stallion feel good."
"...Waif, who uff buff saff wah?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking all confused like at the above paragraph.
"I-I-I don't know..." Futashy admitted. "But, then again, um, T-Twilight did mention s-something about r-radiation from the spell she c-cast..."
"So I can assume that this is affect ol' Broneyman2000's brain, eh?"
"I-I guess.... Um, w-who s-s-said you c-could stop?" *weak whip* "Um... I g-guess I'll loosen the grip on your legs... T-then you can, um, hoof my v... V@g!n@... D-double the, um, f-fun... R-right?"
Thankfully (I think) Twilicorn heard what Futashy was intending to do from upstairs, so she briefly stopped her and Chrysalis's game of Clue (Chrysalis was losing pretty badly) to make the magical bonds holding Dashie disappear. Now, in any normal sane universe, Dashie would've tried to escape (so not the steampunk universe). BUT...
"Ohh... Yeah... Rainbow r-r-rub my, um, c-c-cl!t and, um, suck n' hoof m-m-my d!ck. Wow... This actually feels k-k-kinda good... I dunno. W-what do you think, Rainbow?"
Rainbow briefly removed Futashy's c0ck from her mouth and gave said hermaphodite an annoyed look. "What do you think I think?" she (Dashie) enquired in the same tone as her look.
"I dunno," Futashy shrugged. "W... What d-do you?"
"Well, to explain in further detail- uhngg." Rainbow Dash inserted Futashy back into her mouth so she wouldn't have to come up with a good reason. 'Cause, really, what would you say?
"Um... D-Dashie, could you p-please go a little f-faster?"
*paint (it, black)* "I don't think I can go any faster, cap'n!"
*even weaker whip then the last* "I have to give you permission too speak, do as you are told!" Futashy snapped, still in her same nervous tone.
"Uh, fo glouw ahf auf slaff!"
*even weaker whip then the previous one* "I... I never said you were a s-slave, D-D-Dashie," Futashy pointed out. "B-but if you, um, want to be c-called one...!"
Rainbow shook her head (as much as she could with a pair of t3$t!cl3$ in her mouth) and continued to be amazed at how... Unassertive 'Shy was being. I mean, considering the fantasy she was supposed to be having, Dashie thought she (Futashy) would've been a little more, what's the word... Demanding. But, no, Futa still kept the same nervous tone the whole time. But, then again, this is a change of pace from most clopfics featuring Futashy, so, yeah, always look on the bright side of lfie. Moving on...
"OK, you, um, c-c-can stop now, Rainbow," Futashy told her captive. "Um, Dashie, I-I said stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop." *legitimate whip* "STAHP! Um... S-sorry if I hurt you, Rainbow Dash, I-I just w-want to save m-my orgasm for t-the end..."
"The end of what?" Rainbow Dash asked, raising an eyebrow. Considering everything that had happened before (and that this is a clopfic with a pony with a p3n!s), my Faust, was that a completely idiotic thing to ask!
"Um... Well, um... Let's j-just say I c-can't wait to, um, buck that v... v... Virgin p-p-p-p-pussy of yours..." answered Futashy quite indirectly.
"Flutter... I mean Futashy," Rainbow Dash began, realizing where this was going, "don't do this. I'm a virgin , outside of clopfics, that is. Please don't do this! I-I mean... I dunno what I mean! At least let me on top! And Chrysalis is watching us again!"
"Chrissy, could you p-please just stay upstairs until I'm done?" Futashy begged the queen of Changelings.
"But Twilight's being boring!" Chrysalis complained. "I've never been a fan of Clue and this sure isn't changing my opinion! And considering how fast I change on a daily basis, that's bucking saying something!"
Futashy put a hoof to her face and sighed before calling to Twilight: "Twilight, can't you do something you and Chrysalis might want to do?"
"But I'm a princess; I have more say in it then her!" Twilight called down.
"N... No b-buts!" Futashy snapped.
Audible groaning from Twilight could be heard before Chrysalis made her way back upstairs. Futashy looked awkwardly at Rainbow Dash and asked, "Um... What were d-doing again?"
"You were about to steal my virginity from me and force me to be in the bottom," replied Rainbow was hate, regret, disappointment and a hint of salt.
"A-and you want to b-be on the top. I... I guess that's, um, a g-good punishment! I guess..." *halfhearted whip*
"Please, Futashy, stop! I-I was drunk! I-I didn't mean too kiss Pinkie! Um... Ink Line made me do, I swear to bucking Faust!"
"F-first of all, you, um, used the wrong 'to'. Second, Ink Line m-m-may be an idiotic and e-explotive writer, but even he wouldn't, um, force you t-to drink."
"Yeah. Right."
"Shut, up, Nyx, nopony was talking to you."
"Ninth," Futashy continued, |i-it was what you d-d-did afterwards. You... Um... You b-b-bucked her! A-and it took the whole b-bucking room to g-get you off her! A-and b-b-b-before wild c-cherries c-c-could p-p-p-p-p-pop."
"Are you implying that Pinkie ha-" Rainbow groaned. "You totally are..."
"No, I-I d-d-don't mean that! Um... C-can we just d-d-do it?"
"Sure, let's... But first, a question: How much cider did I have?"
"It d-d-doesn't matter, b-b-but enough to, um, f-f-fill all seven seas of Rhye. B-b-but anyways, y-you said you loved her so, um, I'm gonna make sure she doesn't t-take you no matter what it t-t-t-takes."
"What do you mean by 'take-"... You know what, screw it."
"I-I would, but, um, I-I'm gonna screw you f-first..."
Futashy then (finally) stuck her somewhat-sorta-newly formed stallionhood inside Rainbow. For (probably) the first (and last time), Futashy got to experience was it was like to be a stallion, at least to some extent. Feeling her roddy rod in Dash was probably the second best thing she ever felt in her life, the first naturally being that sandwich that taught her the... Oops, sorry, I got my ponies mixed up. Anyways, according to Broneyman2000, Futashy had always seen Rainbow as the big strong, stallionly stallion, but it seems like the tables have turned in some kind of way I can't really care to explain!
"*eep.*" was all Rainbow could say (in asterisks, nonetheless) as the whole... Thing slid inside her... OK, seriously, Twilight didn't learn her lesson the first time?
"Oh... Yeah! Yeah! You... You l-like that, um, don't you, you... You... I... I don't mean to offend you, um, Dash, but- d-d-dirty little s-slut!"
"Ow! Hey, be careful with that thing! It kinda hurts!"
"Sorry. T-t-this is, um, the first time I've u-used this, I... I have, um, no idea how t-to, um, use it."
After that small exchange that was about as pointless as everything else in this story, Futashy's thrust became seemingly, SEEMINGLY, more powerful. Apparently, she had this certain *wrong word* "taste" for pleasure today. Oh, FYI, she was on top of Rainbow Dash. *sarcasm* Oh, it was going to be a fun week.
The two then decided to shut up and let the descriptions take over, because all this talking is getting in the way of what you really came for: CLOP. However, that's not how it works, because in the very next paragraph...
"Ohhh, yaaa, ahhhh, mphff, fgroola, fshunk, bplflt! Oh... R-R-Rainbow, your pussy is... IT'S PERFECT! N-n-not, um, too small, it's... It's j-j-just the right size!" *spell "pant" (or maybe "faint") horribly wrong* *phaint*
"Nhgg ahh-ahh-ahh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oHhHh, yaa-aaa-aa- almo-almost there!" Of course, Dashie was barely able to speak because of Futashy's seemingly powerful thrusts.
Well, for some reason, apparently both Rainbow Dash and Futashy were wet because, oddly enough, Futa's d!ck and v@g!n@ were connected- You know what, it made more sense when somebody did this with Sonic! But I digress. Anyways, they were reaching their, ahem, "moments". For Futashy, she really didn't want to end this session, but her pistion was leaking fluids, so yeah.
"AHHHHHH! RAINBOW! I G-GOTTA, um, L-LET MY YA-YA'S OUT!" Futashy was so close (no matter how far), but she didn't immediately release her load. No, she wanted to hold it in. Make her orgasm even more explosive. Make it... Bob-omb. (Monkey!)
And apparently, so was Rainbow, in some vauge way: Her crotch was so wet, it was only a matter of time before her dam burst. For now, all she could say was: "Uhh huu uhhh huu uhh." *uses double asteriks for no good reason* **p3n!$ sliding in and out as fast as ponyly possible**
Eventually, after 2905 words, Rainbow finally orgasmed, squirting liquid Skittles all over Futashy's "newly" formed pair-o-balls. Y'know, it's been a day or two, it's not really "new" anymore. Moving on, the ejaculation that had been waiting so long only turned her (I'm not sure) on. Yep, that whole time, she felt nothing. Go figure. "Come on Futashy, I want you to cum inside me and get this $#!t over with!"
Rainbow thought... Something. I've read it over and over and I just can't make sense of it. Well, um... Here is what she "thought": well since it was all done she wanted too be the filly for today, the one being bucked like a little bitch, and she knew in her heart she strangely like it.
"Ahhh! Uh-uh, R-R-Rainbow! I-I-I can do a very poor Trixie impression! Look- I mean, listen: P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-prepared to be, um, filled with my g-g-great and, um, p-p-powerful c-um..." Futashy said, trying way too hard to be funny and just ended up sounding completely stupid.
Upstairs, Trixie could be heard bursting through the door and exclaiming, "Trixie has just heard somepony make a completely mockery of Trixie! She demands to know who it is!"
"Oh, it's just Futashy and Rainbow Dash bucking downstairs," Twilight could be heard explaining.
"Futa? Trixie wants to know what happened to Fluttershy!"
"Well, um, 'futa' is short for futanari, which is the Japanese word for androgyny or hermaphroditism," Twilight replied.
"Or, in other words, Fluttershy has a c0ck," Chrysalis added.
"Huh... That's weird..." Trixie commented.
"Sure is," Twilight agreed. "Hey, you wanna join us? We're playin' Super Smash Bros. Brawl."
"Sure, why not?" And then the conversation upstairs died down. At least to the point where they couldn't be heard.
"...Um... Where was I?" Futashy wondered aloud after a brief silence. "Oh, yeah."
*squirt*
*2nd b(l)ast*
*3rd blast*
"... Y'know, that felt... kinda good, actually," Rainbow said with a small laugh. "Especially since this is kinda, sorta better written!"
"Oh, I... I've never felt so... Alive!" Futashy agreed. "I've... Gotta make a note on this later... Um, w-w-want to know, um, what the best p-p-part about this spell is?"
"Non tribuo a futuo, sed OK, peius mordere... Quid?"
"Um, this spell allows for me t-t-to be aroused multiple times, even though you can, um, only have one arousal at a t-t-time..." *forced wink* "So let's j-just, um, say I'm kinda horny again... You smell- No, wait, that's, um, stupid... Um, a-a-and besides, I can have sex I *misspell* alwase wanted to have... Well, not, um, really, but you the i-idea. L-l-like, um anal while m-m-my p3n!$ is still, um, wet and slippery. A-a-as you know already know, this... This is my fantasy that I'm barely following a-a-and you're gonna, um, help me accomplish it in this week slave!... I-i-if you want, that is."
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR SHOWERS! SAME FUTA TIME, SAME FUTA STORY!
Rainbow slapped the above text away and mumbled, "On second thought, buck this. I'm outta here." And with that said, she made her way out of Futashy's basement... Only to get distracted by Chrysalis, Twilight and Trixie's game of SSBB.
The only thing Futashy could say to that was: "...Um, what?" *story ends*
Counters!
"WHAT"s: 54
"UM"s: 71
"ASTERISK"s: 57
Author's Note
Now, it may not seem like it from the above, but I don't mean to insult the guy who made this... I only mean to make fun of his writing and using ASTERISKS in place of just describing actions. I mean really. Also, *stating the obvious* Twilicorn and Chrysalis were thrown in for no good reason, which you could tell from reading the above. Finally, I'm, just gonna say this: I guess Twilight didn't learn her lesson from the first time she pulled something like this.
